How To Vibrate
How To Vibrate

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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Entries on 29-March 09

entry Mar 29 2009, 09:45 PM
I can't post here, at least not for a while. Why? It's a long story. I'll be other places (The Pit) for now at least. I'll miss the place.

*Bows. Walks off.

Entries on 12-March 09

entry Mar 12 2009, 01:55 PM
Go make another blog entry about me, loser.

Ok then. So, now what?

Entries on 10-March 09

entry Mar 10 2009, 12:06 PM
Read my review.

So yeah, it's not perfect, but it's the most faithful adaptation we could have gotten (it's one of the more faithful adaptations in recent memory, I must say) and is a pretty good time all around. Now, some added thoughts (Warning: Spoilers ahead)

-On the lack of Squid in the finale: On one hand, it is a bit annoying that we don't get a Squid, and instead end up with Dr. Manhatten being framed. That out of the way, let's face the facts: the Squid most likely wouldn't have worked in the movie. What worked in the graphic novel would have failed here. I know, I know, "then why did they make a movie?" Well,

-It was going to be made anyway-Love it or hate it, somebody was going to do it. It took at least 20 something years, three different directors (Terry Gillia,, Darren Arronofsky, and Paul Greengrass) different screenplays for this to happen.

-There's no way it was going to be as good as the graphic novel-If you thought so, then congratulations: you are an idiot. Few adaptations are as good as the original. Even if you didn't like it, you still have the source material. Nobody's taking that away.

-There's no way it was going to be 100% faithful-Few adaptations are also 100% faithful. I love "Moby Dick", but I don't want a 100% faithful adaptation of it. Why? Because 50-60 something percent of it would be about marine biology and the biology of whales. Unless I want to watch the National Geographic Channel, The Discovery Channel, or PBS I don't want to listen to that. Want something that's more successful and better? read the graphic novel.

-SuperJerk and cabbageboy are the worst posters in the "Watchmen" movie thread-cabbageboy is being...well, he's being cabbageboy, while Jerk is showing 1.) A failure to understand how irony works that borders on CronoT levels of stupidity, and 2.) A stubborn, argumentative attitude (nothing new for him really.) Look Jerk: I liked it too. That out of the way, I'm not going to argue with those who didn't. It's a divisive movie, and guess what? People are allowed to have opinions that don't agree with your own.

-Love it or hate it, you gotta give the director credit for one thing-No, not for faithfulness or "getting it" or whatnot, I'm saying Zack Snyder deserves respect for one thing: he did what many said was impossible. He brought the unfilmable graphic novel to the big screen. Whether or not it was a success is totally up to you. He tried to be as faithful as he could. He bit the bullet. Hell, he filmed 40-50 minutes of footage that didn't make it into the theatrical cut, and will be featured in a (hopefully awesome) director's cut. Love it or hate it, you gotta admit that it takes guts to try to bring this to the screen without losing much of it's meaning, and in my opinion, he did it. And if you don't think he did, then at least admit it took guts to turn "Watchmen" into a movie, bad idea or not.

Entries on 4-March 09

entry Mar 4 2009, 02:19 PM
-First, Brody is now off ignore simply for this thread, which is the most incredible one in a long time. Love or hate the guy, he deserves love for this.

-Second of all, I got advanced tickets for the film version of "Watchmen." So far, it's at 69% on rotten tomatoes (I'm not happy about this) but advanced reviews from fans of the graphic novel have been mostly positive, so I'm crossing my fingers.

-Finally, I mentioned it in the Comments that don't Warrent a Thread" thread in Movie and TV, but holy shit Tokyo Gore Police is fucking insane. If you ever wanted to see:

  • A man with a mutant cannon cock
  • Fake commericals for a Wii that allows family members to kill people who have harmed members of said family, and the "Wrist Cutter G"
  • Women with stitches where their nipples should be
  • A woman who has half her mouth transform into a gaping gator maw.
  • More blood and gore than a night with Macy Grey
Than this is the movie for you. Granted, the twist/social commentary that comes in at the 1 hour 17 minute mark bogs it down a little, but is made up for with more sheer insanity. I give it 8.5/10. Love it or hate it, it's most likely unlike anything you've seen before.

Entries on 2-March 09

entry Mar 2 2009, 10:02 PM
Since Marvin has only 98 posts left until he's banned, he's off ignore. Spaceman Ross aka Roho aka PongKong is on ignore.

Entries on 20-February 09

Entries on 19-February 09

Entries on 16-February 09

entry Feb 16 2009, 03:47 PM
In case you didn't know, the "Friday the 13th" remake recently made the top spot in the box office. Well, in retrospective, here's a look at the series so far:

-Friday the 13th-A good beginning, though not the best in the series. Funny that for a film that helped set the staples for the slasher film, the original "Friday" feels more like an Itallian Giallo film than it does a slasher movie. Also, the arrow through the throat scene is still one of the best kills in horror history. Rating: 7/10

-Friday the 13th II-Along with Part 4, this is tied as my favorite entry in the series. Unlike the following sequals, there's a genuine sense of dread and eeriness pervading the proceedings, and the burlap sack mask is pretty interesting too. Rating: 8.5/10

-Friday the 13th III-Jason kills dumb teens in 3D for your enjoyment. A pretty fun entry, which introduced the Hockey Mask wearing Jason we all know today, and contains an oddly endearing quality to it beyond it's slasher movie trappings. Also worth noting is the dude with the Jewfro-a hairstyle originally meant to portray complete losers is now loved thanks to the likes of Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. Rating: 8/10

-Friday the 13th IV-One of the best entries in the series, and featuring the most remorseless, vicious Jason in the history of the franchise. The presence of Crispen Glover doesn't hurt either. Rating: 8.5/10

-Friday the 13th V-Has the most nudity in the series, and some splendid kills as well. That out of the way, the film itself feels too much like its going through the motions, and is the first to show signs of the series losing steam. The fact that it's an imposter Jason doesn't help either. Rating: 5/10

-Friday the 13th VI-At this point, the series tries to inject more humor to the proceedings. While this doesn't hurt for the large part (Arnold Horshack getting knocked off is a huge plus,) it still doesn't live up to expectations, and again, shows the franchise running out of steam. Rating: 6/10

-Friday the 13th VII-Two major pluses: the introduction of Kane Hodder as Jason-simply put, he's the best Jason the series has ever had. Also, it has the best kill in the series-woman trapped in a sleeping bag slammed against a tree trunk. Sadly the MPAA cutting out much of the gore, and another sense of going through the motions (not even the evil bitch character-a slasher stereotype I love-can save this) makes this an unspectacular entry in the series. Rating: 5/10

-Friday the 13th VIII-Jason on a boat. Terrible not only as an entry in the series, but as a slasher movie overall. Nothing-not even the black guy getting his head knocked off-feels new or interesting, and the whole thing is proof that the series needed to die. Rating: 0/10

-Jason Goes To Hell-And takes the viewer with him in this horrible attempt to breath new life in the franchise. The less said the better. Rating: 0/10

-Jason X-Proofyour horror franchise is now a joke: put the villain in space. Actually, this is several steps up, with jokes that are actually funny ("We love pre-marital sex!") and one of the best kills in the series (cryogen frozen face shattered.) Watchable, but feels too much like a Sci-Fi channel made for TV movie to really work. Rating: 6/10

-Freddy vs. Jason-Fans were clammering for it, and here it was. While it doesn't live up to all of the expectations, it's still a good entry in the series, though admittingly, it;s a stringer "Nightmare on Elmstreet" movie than it is a "Friday the 13th" movie. Rating: 7/10

-Friday the 13th (Remake)-Yes, you've seen it before-but that's why it fun. A much needed reboot that feels more like an entry in the series than a remake, and the most vicious Jason since part IV.Sure, the score is unremarkable, and Jason is a bit too smart for his own good at times, but it's still a good entry that brings the fun back to the franchise. Rating: 7.5/10

Entries on 10-February 09

entry Feb 10 2009, 05:03 PM
Febuary 10th, 2009. The day EHME was put to rest (banned)

Granted, this banning was a long time coming. The man had been skirting the edges since 2006. People were calling for his banning then, and they were recently. His entire tough guy act was terrible-he couldn't even do that right. Everything about the man was annoying.

His constant homophobia, drunken (and sometimes coked up) antics that were more tiresome than interesting (he couldn't even do drunk posting right), terrible attempts at starting fights with others, threats of violence towards other posters, cliched tough guy dialogue (fuck you, bitch, fag, faggot, etc), impregnating a woman (and gloating about it-seriously, who the fuck does that? It's amazing protective services haven't taken the kid away yet), horrible attempts at humor (saying your only kidding when threatening posters is no excuse for sucking you dumb fuck), and general attitude served as nothing but a detriment to the board. At times, he was so horrible, he actually made me long for the days of the likes of CronoT.

Now he's gone. Or at least until Mike unbans him and pisses everyone off for being a dolt.

Will he be missed? Fat chance. Every message board has it's EHME. Hell, we have a terrible poster or two or more banned every year. It's just that this one was two or three years too late. In the end, nobody will miss him or his antics. He had enough chances already, and today was the last one. He finally blew it. Sure, there are other terrible posters here, but there was only one EHME on this board. And one was enough. He wasn't the worst poster we've had (that prize goes to either MikeSC or wildpegasus), but he was undoubtably one of the worst.

So good riddence.

Entries on 4-February 09

entry Feb 4 2009, 09:10 PM

Because you would still fuck her. Oh, don't you deny it. "Oh, she's too fat!" Give me a break. Your standards aren't that high. Besides, this is fat:

Does she seem so bad now? I think not.

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