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Week 16 Pickkks

Minnesota at Green Bay (3.5) Normally I’d go with the Vikings in this situation, but I’ve been hearing all week how this could be Brett Favre’s LAST HOME GAME EVER so I’m sure Green Bay will win. Then again, I did pick them.   (6.5) Kansas City at Oakland I saw on the ESPN bottom line ticker thing that Randy Moss probably won’t play. I’m not sure how good he’s been this year, but I’m sure it can’t help the Raiders’ chances. Then again, this is a rivalry game. Ah screw it. I’m sticking with the Chiefs.   Baltimore at Pittsburgh (3.5) The hell? Even with the Ravens clinching a playoff spot whenever they get a chance to sweep the Steelers, you can bet they’ll do anything possible to do so. And for the love of God, will the local Shittsburgh sports media STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THE STEELERS HAVE A PLAYOFF SHOT?! Not only do they have to beat the Ravens and Bengals, but something like a half-dozen teams also have to lose out. Steeler fans, be content if your black and gold can end the season .500 – it’ll be a nice accomplishment for a banged up season.   Carolina at Atlanta (6.5) Christ, I don’t know who to go with. I don’t feel comfortable with that point spread but the Panthers freakin’ quit at home last week. Hmm, I’ll take a chance with the Panthers playing better this week.   (4.5) Chicago at Detroit You GOT to be kidding.   (9.5) Indianapolis at Houston Is this a trap game for the Colts, or did that Monday night win against the Bengals spark Indy? I’m hoping for the latter.   New England at Jacksonville (2.5) I remember how the Patriots played against the Jags in the playoffs last year. I’ll stick with them.   New Orleans at N.Y. Giants (3.5) I first went with the Saints, but this is being played in the Northeast. Maybe if I’m wrong that will mean Emily will have a 6 INT game. One can dream.   Tampa Bay at Cleveland (3.5) Will Cleveland play another struggling team tough, or will they fold like a house of cards? Well they’re favored, so that’s one strike.   Tennessee at Buffalo (4.5) If you would have showed me this game on the schedule before the season began, I’d figure these two teams could be playing for the top pick in next year’s draft. Instead, this game has playoff implications. Good going for all teams involved.   Washington at St. Louis (2.5) The Redskins have been playing better as of late. Time for me to put that to rest by picking them.   Arizona at San Francisco (4.5) That point spread gave me concern, but fuck the Cardinals.   Cincinnati at Denver (3.5) I first went with Cincy, but then I remembered about their secondary, which should help a rookie quarterback out.   (4.5) San Diego at Seattle Goddamn are the Chargers good. Too good. While watching the Chiefs game last Sunday night I was getting the feeling that they’re going to be had in the playoffs.   Philadelphia at Dallas (7.5) I just heard Jeff Garcia talk for the first time last week. No wonder T.O. made those gay cracks at him. I think the Garcia wave ends here, although I find it funny Owens has disparaged two quarterbacks during his career on the other side of the field for this game.   N.Y. Jets at Miami (2.5) Congrats to the Jets, even if they don’t make the playoffs. I think the Dolphins will treat this like a playoff game, costing their divisional foe a chance at the postseason.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/9: Return Of Goofing On ESPN, Part XVI

12:15 p.m.   • I read about this in the ESPN sucks thread, but I just saw the first video teaser for this shit.     I wonder if some black kid just came up to Tom Jackson and ask if he could, someday, have his own NFL Countdown segment. I knew that running gag would eventually have some sort of payoff other than the hilarity it brings every time I use it.   8:30 a.m.   • Spoilerz 'n stuff ahead: I was in the mood to watch some shit yesterday, so I went into my OnDemand/DVR library and pulled out a few time-fillers. One was the "Hills Have Eyes 2." Not the crappy remake sequel. The crappy sequel to the first one made in the '70s. As I was watching this shit-fest, I wondered torward the end where the heck Ruby was. No way she could have died just from falling down and hitting her head on a rock. Yeah, I know in real life someone can actually die from that, but this is the f'n movies! People had their throats slashed, backs broken and harpoons shot through them. Falling five feet onto some hippie rock, especially since she was a carry-over from the first movie, is soooooo weak. Sadly, after going to IMDB, it appears that this is how she went out. Gay. At least the dog lived. I think Beast should get his (or is it her?) own spin-off.   Before watching this, I gave "Return of the Living Dead II" a look-see. I couldn't remember if I saw this one years ago or the first one. All I remember about that one is "Send... more... paramedics" and that the place gets nuked in the end. I have to say that I really liked this one. There's something to be said when a film knows its stupid and has fun with it. And Doc has been placed unusually high for a first-time viewing on my list of "characters I like." Great character.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/9: Going Back Into The Arkkkives For An Opinion

• So that shithead who has been on the run for months, shooting several police officers and killing one, has finally been caught. Good. Fuck him. And fuck his family members who (allegedly) aided in his avoiding the law. One question, though: why are the media including the “Bucky” into his name Ralph “Bucky” Phillips? I think "Ralph Phillips" or "Bucky Phillips" would do just fine. Is there another criminal named Ralph Phillips out there pissed off because "Bucky" is giving him a bad name? I could see having the "Bucky" in there when he first escaped because people from the areas where he used to live might know him by this nickname, but now he's caught. I think it's safe to say we can drop the "Bucky." And if someone needs the "Bucky" to realize who this douche is...     ... then that person should have to apply for a license in order to breed.   • Two entries ago I commented on the pro-censorship Democrats who don’t want some hippie ABC 9/11 Docudrama to be aired and thought back to how a few years ago the roles were reversed with that stupid “Reagans” mini-series. Now I'm taking a trip down memory lane again thanks to an upcoming political ad that's going to be used in a Virginia Senatorial race.     Upon hearing this story, I’m reminded of how it was just a few years ago when a pro-tax cut group used John F. Kennedy in some ads back in March of 2001. What did I say about it back then? Let's take a trip to the arkkkives back on March 14, 2001:     Both dead presidents? Check.   Both being used for political gain by the other side? Check.   Run the Reagan ads and let the pundit-hysteria commence.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/8: Rooting For Notre Dame Is The Pitts

• Well Brad Pitt won’t marry Angelina Jolie until everybody can marry, regardless of sexual preference. Uh, OK. I guess I probably could go down the conventional right-wing route and whine about how the Hollywoodliberalelite should just shut up and make movies and not spout their commie beliefs to red-state America. Maybe I should also lament back to when Pitt made that “Seven Years in Tibet” movie, and Time magazine asked for his opinion about the China-Taiwan situation to which he replied, “What do I know? I’m an actor.” Nah, I’m not going to do any of this. Instead I have to give my brother from another mother a pound, thug-style yo. If only I had thought up this idea a few years ago. “Sorry dear, we can’t get married until Tom and Steve are allowed to do the same.” Brilliant. I guess I could say that if Pitt and Jolie became Canadian citizens then they could get hitched, but I’m not going to player-hate on Pitt’s strategy.   • Former TWA workers are picketing their own union. Rock on. When it’s union versus union, which side vandalizes the automobiles?   • So some states will need to put welfare recipients in a job or risk losing federal money. I think the biggest problem will be getting these people to stay at a place of employment for longer than 20 minutes -- either that or managing a flex schedule that doesn’t interfere with these people’s television viewing habits. Judge Joe Brown > Becoming more self-reliant. Wait, did I say states had to find welfare recipients "employment"? I meant "job training, community service or other work activities." Wow, that welfare reform. How heartless.   • Tomorrow is going to be weird for me. With every sport there are a few teams that you either like or hate with no gray area in-between. In Major League Baseball, the most prominent example of this is the New York Yankees. One example of this happening in the NFL is with the Dallas Cowboys. When it comes to college football, I consider Notre Dame to be one of these teams; count me in the group that doesn’t like the Fighting Irish. I don’t know why I dislike Notre Dame, I just never did. The only reason I can think of off the top of my head is that when they played the University of Colorado in some bowl game years ago, I liked Colorado because the team ran out onto the field with their buffalo mascot. I also got sick of media hype given to “The Rocket” Ishmael. Stupid reasons to be sure, but they’re reasons nevertheless. All this changes tomorrow when Notre Dame plays host to the Penn State Nittany Lions. Having lived a year-and-a-half in Sappy Valley, I can say that if Mohammad-Abdul ever decides to put a jihad on that stupid lion statue that just about every PSU student poses at during his or her time at this shithole in the center of Pennsylvania, I’ll chip in for the dynamite. Go Irish.   • Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): Today’s caller has a son who lives far away and is about to get married (I think he’s in his 20s). The caller’s husband, who is the stepfather of her son, said that he doesn’t want to attend the wedding, nor does he want the caller to go to this blessed event. When the caller asked her hubby why he felt this way, the guy said because they already went on vacation last month and that this trip would cost too much money. Also, he’s afraid of flying. He added that if she goes to this wedding she might as well stay there because she’s “choosing her kids over him.”

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/8: RACIST Porn?

6:30 p.m.   • But the big question is: What political party is this guy from?     This place is in Kansas, and he's offering to resign, so I'm guessing he's a Republican. However, the article doesn't indicate what party he's affiliated with, so he could be a Democrat. However, small-town elections don't have the same oomph when it comes to political parties (the article says this guy has another job, after all). If the area is made up of Democrats/Republicans, then most local positions will be registered as that party for election purposes. Also, one headline I saw had this as a "RACIST porn e-mail." Uh, how excatly was this the r-word? Then again, if he sent this e-mail at home on his personal computer and not on mayoral time, then OMG KEEP HIS PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE and all that other crap I heard during the Lewinsky years.   8 a.m.   • Not sure what the legal stuff is regarding celebs and having their images sold for profit via greeting cards, but I would consider Paris a public figure so my first thought is "tough shit" to her lawsuit.     Remember when everyone goofed on Donald Trump for trying to trademark "You're Fired"? If anything, Hallmark should be sued for producing shitty cards.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/7: On Wounded Knee

8 p.m.   • Yeah, who needs preseason. All the good players will just get hurt anyway. (Just heard on NBC's recap show this injury is serious.)     • You know what I hate most about this commercial?     These people go to some yuppie place for dinner and they eat MACARONI AND CHEESE? I bet the bacon is what makes this dish decadent!   If I had to dress up for some tasting, it better be for some form of surf 'n turf.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/7: Keep Criminals In, Keep Illegals Out

11:45 p.m.   • This just popped into my head. The other night I was watching O’Reilly and he had some pro-invasion feminazi bitch on spewing the usual shit about “they’re not illegals” and all this other nonsense. She then started talking about how immigration cops ILLEGALLY storm into the houses of these undocumented employees. Yeah, doesn’t that suck when people illegally enter a territory?   • I was watching one of those “look inside at jails,” and normally I don’t tune into all that long to these shows. But this one featured Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, so I figured I’d give it a look. Jesus Christ. Whenever I hear people bitch about “overcrowed jails” and “where are we going to house all these people,” my response is “build more prisons.” No way in hell I want them living with me. Well, I’m from the suburbs. OK, so I don’t want them driving through my neighborhood and scooping out my house. My favorite pare of the show was some black guy bitching to Arpaio about how terrible it is to be a prisoner in Phoenix, (Joe has this extension of his jail that’s outdoors), and how the conditions were much better in a prison back in Kansas City. Joe responded by saying, “Well go back to Kansas City if you want to break the law.”   Ha. He's also not endorsing his state's senator John McCain. (Article's a bit dated.)     7 p.m.   • So now that the case is over, Mrs. kkk is telling me all about her time as a juror. Yes, she didn’t talk about her hippie case until it concluded. Anyway, it just reinforces the fact defense lawyers are scum. Long story short: some idiot robbed a store with a bb gun that looked real. He then went on a high-speed chase. From what it sounds like, he didn’t want to take a plea agreement, which would have probably required a bit of jail time. Instead, now he’s found guilty on all counts and is facing at least 5 years in the hole. Good for him. This incident took place more than two YEARS ago, and now his trial began on Wednesday and ended Thursday. The funny thing was the better half is guessing the defense lawyer picked her for jury duty because she is a Master’s graduate and dealt with family members that abused drugs. I guess he though she’d be all touchy feely when the defense team brought up the defendant came from a broken home. This lawyer couldn’t have been more wrong. Ha. My favorite part of the case, as was told to me by Mrs. kkk:   The criminal gets out of his car to flee on foot. The cops eventually get him. The criminal asks why the cops have their guns drawn. When the cops answer, the criminal says, “Didn’t you see me drop my gun back there (during the car chase in which I was going 90 mph in residential neighborhoods)?” I bet that plea agreement seems like a good deal now.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/7: #56, Docudrama, NFL Pickkks

KKK’s Top 103 Posters   Number 56: Canadian Guitarist   A returning participant in my pick ‘em contest, he’s hoping to challenge C Dubya 04 and Vern Gagne for the NFC West Division title this year. Other than that I don’t know much about him. I do know that he works at Wal-Mart, and because he’s a self-professed hippie I can’t imagine he takes much joy in helping his employer take over the world. At least he checks out more than just the low-priced merchandise made in China while on the clock, and it doesn't matter what side of the register his chick of the day is standing at. Unfortunately he also thinks of other TSM posters while having sex, but hey, I don't care what he does to get his jollies as long as he submits his picks on time.   And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.   From SFA Jack:   From Cancer Marney:   • It appears some big bad Democrats are getting their panties in a knot over this ABC "9/11" movie, or whatever the hell it’s going to be called. “Waaaah. It’s not fair. There’s stuff in this special that wasn’t true.” I’m surprised that former National Security Advisor Sandy Burglar didn’t just swipe the video of this production, stuff it down his pants and walk out of the editing room. Actually, I don’t really care about this “9/11” movie, and I’m not going to watch it. I wonder if the same people bitching about this special also had the same passion about that hippie “The Reagans” movie made a few years ago? I thought that abortion would have made for a great sitcom. You could have started this program in the same way as the “Dick Van Dyke” show where Mr. Van Dyke walks into his living room, only to trip over a stool. When Ronnie does the same, he can be shown accidentally pushing on The Button, triggering a nuclear explosion. I can hear the music now.   Daaaaa da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da da     BOOM!   I’d watch that. For about 10 seconds. But that’s better than my usual attention span when it comes to network television.   • Paris Hilton got busted for driving under the influence (allegedly, of course). Outside of her driving while drunk, I don’t see the big deal. Considering her body weight, I’m sure it doesn’t take much to get her tipsy. Hell, it’s not like she’s all that rational when she’s sober to begin with. I think you’re a shithead if you drive while drunk, but if you don’t injure anybody other than yourself then I won't wish death upon you.   • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This chick had been in a relationship with this guy for 20+ months. The guy couldn’t find steady work in California and thus moved back to him hometown in Colorado where he got a job with his cousin. The caller said she is trying to “make this work” but just gets laughed at by the boyfriend. I’m not sure if she actually asked a question, but I did hear her cry on one occasion during this call.   Runner up: This guy lived with this chick for three years, and she popped out a kid. They split up and he has said that ever since then she has gone downhill. And I quote: “She lost her job, she lost her car, she lost her Section 8 Housing…” I didn’t hear what he said next because I was laughing too loud to hear.   • As if I don't have enough retarded features, here's one more: My NFL Pickkks of the Week. What I will do is predict which NFL teams will win or cover the spread this week. I'll be using the same spreads as I use for my kkk Bowl contest; the spreads are posted early in the week, so some games (like the Dolphins/Steelers) may seem a bit off. Too bad. I need all the help I can get. All my picks take about five seconds to determine and my commentary under each game is my first thought upon seeing each match-up and the point spread given for that game.   Miami at Shittsburgh (3.5) I'm not buying Miami being a Super Bowl contender just yet (the season hasn't even started yet), but with Big Ben out and a number of Steelers with nagging injuries I'm taking the Dolphins.   Atlanta at Carolina (5.5) Is Carolina one of those teams that plays well against Vick, or was that Tampa Bay (or both)? Shit. Just in case I'll side with Atlanta.   Baltimore at Tampa Bay (3.5) It'll take a week or two for McNair to get adjusted to being a Raven.   Buffalo at New England (8.5) High point spread, and will New England experience a drop-off this year? It's Week 1 so I'll go with the Pats offense over the Bills defense.   Cincinnati at Kansas City (3.5) Two good offenses. The Bengals have a linebacker suspended for the first few games, so I'll give the ball the the Chiefs running game, which will be a better defense against Carson Palmer then the Kansas City starting eleven on that particular side of the ball.   (3.5) Denver at St. Louis The AFC West is tough enough. Denver needs to relish out-of-division games against last year's non-playoff teams.   New Orleans at Cleveland (3.5) Reggie Bush will make a big run or two and Chris Berman will spooge all over his notes.   N.Y. Jets at Tennessee (3.5) I have no idea about this one.   (4.5) Philadelphia at Houston I'm pulling for Houston in this one, but McNabb will make a big throw or two and Tom Jackson will spooge all over his notes.   (6.5) Seattle at Detroit Seattle is going to take its Super Bowl loss out on the Lions. Poor kitties.   (3.5) Chicago at Green Bay For some reason I'm smelling upset, but I've also been smelling how Favre has been playing for the last year or two.   Dallas at Jacksonville (2.5) This is going to be a fun game. I'm taking Dallas just because of the points. If the Cowboys lose then ESPN's jihad on T.O. will reach epidemic proportions.   San Francisco at Arizona (7.5) I think the Cards will win, but not by a touchdown.   (3.5) Indianapolis at N.Y. Giants MATCHUP OF THE MANNINGS! MATCHUP OF THE MANNINGS!! OMG IT'S THE MATCHUP OF THE MANNINGS!!! Just when will they play against each other -- on special teams? I'm hoping Payton gets the best of his little sister.   Minnesota at Washington (4.5) I'm sensing upset here.   (3.5) San Diego at Oakland If Rivers plays bad against the Raiders, then the Bolts are in a world of trouble.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/6: Flaming Kitties

8:30 a.m.   • Public service announcement. If you posted at the Other Place and wondered why you can't access the site, wonder no more. It died (again). For those keeping score at home, Frigid Soul had nothing to do with this one.   Here's the new address.   9 a.m.   • Fuck blaming the cats for this fire.     You don't light candles and leave in a house with pets. The closest the kkk household has come to this sort of thing was when Dessa, as a kitten, knocked over a glass of water the better half had on the night stand. When she went to get the glass she got shocked by a power outlet. Then there was the time that Dessa, still a kitten, knocked out my plugged-in clock radio the night before my first day of work at a job. That's when I learned to invest in a battery-powered clock. Of course, years later I was late for work one day when the battery died. That's when we started regulating the kids' feedings. Now no matter what if Dessa, JJ and Max aren't fed by 5:30 a.m. one of us will be woken up. If getting into Mrs. kkk's face loudly meowing doesn't do the trick then the better half hitting me and saying, "go feed your cats" will.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/6: College Costs, Hair-Raising Rebellions

• Sure the Pirates suck, but there’s a silver lining around this dark cloud that has been above Shittsburgh for the past dozen-plus years. The Pirates are no longer in last place in the N.L. Central. And just who is currently occupying this division’s cellar? Why, it’s Racist Dusty and pals. If there’s one team or person out there that I want to see fail more than the Pirates, it’s Racist Dusty followed closely by Barry Bonds. Let’s go Bucs!   • This past weekend I was channel surfing and came across this special on a certain cable news network that makes all of us LOL in 2006. This hour-long program dealt with the cost of higher education and how much of a rip-off it is. During this broadcast we got to follow these middle-class parents who earned $125k/year and couldn’t afford to put their two daughters through college. Now this might have gotten a smidgen of sympathy from me had I heard that these kids also had jobs (they might have; I didn’t watch the entire special, but all signs pointed to “no” on this one), and when the father, who worked several jobs to try and pay for his daughters’ education, mentioned the prospect of his girls going to community college, he was greeted with laughter by his brats. While watching this family was aggravating enough, this special also highlighted the woes of some chick that burned through more than $100,000 in a quest for a Special Education Degree. When she got out of college she owed more than $80,000, and when asked how she was coping with this debt she talked about how all her friends buy retail-priced clothing while she has to look through a store’s BARGAIN RACK. She then began to cry.   • Yesterday featured the premiere of Katie Couric on the cBS Evening News. Don’t care. I don’t follow broadcast news, so why should I treat Katie any differently? I will defend her in one area though: I don’t remember NBC’s Brian Williams, ABC’s Charles Gibson or cBS’s Bob Schieffer being criticized for how they looked or what they wore.   • Oh man Allah’s going to be pissed:       Look at this head -- it's not even a real one chopped off from an unholy Westerner's neck.   • And there are those in the media who wonder why so many people hate them. Steve Irwin’s kids have just lost their father to a freak accident. One kid is eight-years old, the other one is two. Can we please refrain from headlines like "Kids of 'Crocodile Hunter' May Follow in His Footsteps" until these kids are old enough to, oh I don't know, be of legal age to work?   • Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This woman’s 18-year old daughter has had a continuous drug problem and wants to know if it would be a good idea if she should unknowingly sign up her daughter to take part in some nationally televised intervention program. What was the reason for the caller to take such drastic steps? Because three previous interventions with this kid have already failed.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/6: #12, Week 1 NFL Pickkks

kkk’s Top 103 Posters     Number 12: Bigolsmitty   With his freedom-hating views he should be called Bigolshitty, but yet he managed to crack the Top 12. How was Smitty able to accomplish such a feat? Take a lesson, commies. If you’re going to hate the country that gives you the freedom to whine about $3/gallon gas and then vote for politicians that want to tax this same resource $4/gallon, please do it right. (If you’re not from America, then I don’t give a rat's ass what you think of my country. No matter how many protest marches you engage in, you bitches will be the first ones at my doorstep pleading for help once Abdul and his 30 junior jihadists start blowing themselves up in your market square.) What separates Smitty from most of the Marxists here is that he’s actually funny with his shtick. And by funny I don’t mean C-Bacon funny. He also has a sense of humor. Then again, he thinks Napoleon Dynamite was good. Where do I go with this one? Oh hell, I already typed it up; I'll just leave the last few lines as-is. Smitty is also one of my favorites for good arguing in favor of the ideology that wants unregulated freedom in bedrooms and abortion clinics but total government control everywhere else. I just pray he isn’t glazedham over at the other place, because if that's the case I may have edit this entry.   7 p.m.   • Alrighty. It’s now time for the first week of NFL pickkks. Long story short. I take the matchups from week 1, use the point spreads in my TSM contest, make spur-of-the-moment decisions on each game and pretend the really awful selections I made never happened.   New Orleans @ Indianapolis (5.5) Indy lost a lot of people. I don’t think New Orleans will be as good as they were last year. Could be a close game, but I think the Colts will cover the spread at home.   Atlanta @ Minnesota (3.5) If memory serves, Minnesota had a good run defense last year. That’s all I need.   Carolina @ St. Louis (0.5) The Panthers pissed me off last year by having a crap-tastic season. Fuck them.   (3.5) Denver @ Buffalo All I know about the Bills is that they lost some cornerback that got lots of money from the 49ers.   Kansas City @ Houston (2.5) Oh I’m tempted to take the Texans in this one, but I just can’t fathom Houston a favorite in anything.   Miami @ Washington (3.5) I have no idea who the Redskins have on their team. Why am I picking them?   (6.5) New England @ N.Y. Jets The Pats will probably win, but I have to take that spread. Then again, I heard a bunch of starters aren’t going to play for New England.   (3.5) Philadelphia @ Green Bay When will Favre retire?   (4.5) Pittsburgh @ Cleveland Tricky. Knoll and Cowher both won their first games as Steeler coaches. Cleveland may indeed lose, but crazy stuff can happen when Pittsburgh goes to this place. Steelers will score 27.   Tennessee @ Jacksonville (6.5) I don’t think the Titans will win, and I don’t think they will be as good as their late-season hot streak showed last year. It’s a spread thing.   Chicago @ San Diego (6.5) Years ago when the Bears played the Vikings on opening day, I heard a commentator say that in Week 1 a good offense will often best a good defense because there’s still a “surprise” element many teams use for a trick play or two. And the Chargers have a pretty good defense, too.   Detroit @ Oakland (1.5) My first thought for this game was that South Park “giant douche/turn sandwich” episode.   Tampa Bay @ Seattle (6.5) I think this spread will bite me in the ass, and I think the Seahawks have numbered days atop the NFC West, but it’s only Week 1.   N.Y. Giants @ Dallas (5.5) Uh. I have nothing. Boo Emily.   Baltimore @ Cincinnati (3.5) Remember that “good offense” comment I made above? That’s why I’m going with the Bengals at home. I’m hoping the Ravens can’t run the ball with shit.   Arizona @ San Francisco (3.5) Remember that “good offense” comment I made above? Remember that Bills cornerback to San Fran comment I made above? Well, the Cards have two other good receivers that the 49ers have to cover.   4:30 p.m.   • Oh boy, more work stories! So someone from upstairs calls me because some guy’s on the phone and my co-worker thought that maybe I could help out. Sure. The caller wasn’t related to my department, but then again, it could have been. I took it. Long story short. It actually dealt with something I did, but I’m not responsible for the actual project. I just take what’s given to me and do my thing. Long story short: a month ago the idiot boss said to this caller that he’d get back to him regarding a certain issue. He never did. This caller phoned in again a week ago. Same story by the idiot boss, “I’ll get back to you.” Bwahahahahaaha. So I say, “I regret the unprofessional treatment you have received. If that had been me I would have acted on your request right away.” I’m sure word will get back to the idiot one way or another. Good. Then again, the idiot might stay away because the truth is involved in this one. He doesn’t like that sort of thing. It's great when my response to a scolding is, "Sorry for telling the truth. I won't do it again."   You may notice I said “regret” and not “apologize.” I hate it when people say the “a” word over something they have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER. Fuck that. I’m going to apologize when I fuck up – not when I have to clean up someone else’s mess. Here’s something that’s fun to do. When somebody does the “OMG I apologize” for something that they can’t do anything about, respond by saying, “Well you better not do it again.” Yeah, bitch. You bring my food out to my table. I’m sure you have authority as to when the cook actually bothers to put my grub in the skillet and fry the dead cow up.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/5: N00bs Back In '84, N00bs Today

7 p.m.   • Can you believe what the head of the print division of Medium-Large Media said about McCain's VP selection of Palin?     Wait a second, the Slimes Editorial Board was talking about Geraldine Ferraro -- a three-term congresswoman at the time of her VP nod. Nevermind.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/5: Getting Fat, Not Getting Paid

• Oh, yeah. This will turn out well.     • No offense health nazis, but when someone orders a double quarter pounder with cheese and large fries, I don't think they care about their value meal's calorie content. Look, I get that people are getting fatter and fatter, but it's up to each individual to make the proper choices in regards to their health and nutrition. It's true fatty foods are out there now more than ever before, but there are also more healthier choices, too.   • I'm sure this Ahmadinejad guy from Iran probably doesn't care too much for my infidel lifestyle, what with me eating pork and letting the better half out of the house every now and then. I'm also quite certain he'd want to chop my head off if given a rusty saw and a video camera to tape the incident for broadcast on Al Jazeera. However, upon reading this headline, I'm sure there's at least a little common ground we can share: Ahmadinejad Seeks Purge of Liberal Profs.   • This made me laugh. I seem to remember years back a similar event happening in California. Some hippie group wanted businesses to pay their workers "living wages," but yet these commies wanted to be exempt from the laws they were advocating; they claimed that they couldn't afford to keep their workers if forced to shell out the same hourly wage as they wanted to impose on the rest of us.   • That Ryan Howard guy from the Phillies has been on a tear, and it’s possible that he could hit 60-plus home runs this season. One topic du jour around the sports-talk circuit has been that if Howard hits 62 round-trippers this sesaon should he be considered the “true” home-run king instead of those roided-up ballplayers currently at the top of the single-season homer list. I say hell no. For as much as I loathe Barry Bonds, until someone else surpasses his single-season total, let his single-season home-run record stand. And let this be a reminder of how MLB and the fans didn’t give a shit about whether or not the game was being played clean in the late 1990s and early 2000s. While I’m on this subject, boo-fucking-hoo to the players now whining about how the suspicion of illegal performance-enhancing drug use is now over every over-achieving athlete’s head. You people made your bed, now go lie in it.   • So last night in-between commercials for the Florida State University/Miami football game I was channel surfing, like any good male does, and what did I stumble across? Some movie about the behind-the-scenes action of the sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes." Who in the world thought this was a good idea to do, and who in the world gave this person the green light to produce this piece of crap?   • Wow. Be careful what you wish for; it just might come true.     Um, if I’m going to die, at least I want to win the $100 million Powerball 50 years prior.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/5: Big Mac Enviro Attack

8:15 p.m.   • And just how many farting cows had to be raised in order to provide beef for this global warming Big Mac deal?     Next thing you know, we'll be producing gas that takes more energy to produce than it provides in better mileage over other Big Oil products. Uh, nevermind. For those of you that didn't get the last sentence, don't worry. It was corny anyway.   8 p.m.   • So someone I know in Ohio sent me the following e-mail:     Knowing that clicking on any the links he gave me in his e-mail would make for some interesting reading, I did so. I wasn't disappointed.     My response to the e-mail first sent to me:     7:30 p.m.   • So I was flipping through some channels today and came across a preview for some program that was done shortly after 9/11. The preview said something like, "provocative movie directors from around the world talk about the effects of the terror attacks on America.” Who was the director featured in this preview? Sean Penn. Wow, what a shock. This special is being aired on the Sundance channel.   • "Around the Horn" talked about this today. And all the panelists were OUTRAGED at these comments made by Cincinnati radio talk guy Bill Cunningham.     Sadly, J.A. Adande echoed the first thoughts in my head as I heard this story: Thank God he didn't say this about Ken Griffey Jr. If so, he'd be a RACIST~! Whatever. It was probably an off-the-cuff comment. I've heard much worse.   3 p.m.   • So the brother of one of my co-workers died and she’s taking the week off to do funeral stuff. This brought about a discussion between me and my co-worker in the next office about company policy during a death in the family. I contended that a person could get the day off without pay in these matters while my counterpart thought that these days off are with pay. I asked another co-worker about this topic and figured that she would give use the correct answer since her father passed away a few years ago. Her answer was this: Because she “didn’t abuse” this benefit prior, my idiot boss said she got to take her father’s funeral day off WITH pay. This of course brings up the question of “abuse.” How does one abuse a benefit such as this?   “Boss, I need Monday off because my dad died.”   “You used that excuse six months ago when your mom died. No day off for you.”   Of course, when my grandma died earlier this year, I had to stay later than my scheduled half-day off (which I used sick time to fill in the remaining four hours of that shift) because my idiot boss has no management skills and asked me to drive to a nearby Kinko’s to price-check on something that has nothing to do with my job. Here’s how this gem of a chat went down.   “kkk, I need you to go to Kinko’s and find out how much this proposal will cost with and without binding.”   “But I’m going to my grandmother’s viewing service now. It’s at 1 p.m. and it’s going to take me at least 30 minutes to get there (note: the time was 12:30).”   “Can you do it real quick?”   Now normally I jump at the chance to stay away from my family, but not at the expense of mingling with this fuckwad. But in the end it all worked out. I saved a half-hour of sick time that I used elsewhere, I got a nice story that will be going into my eventual resignation letter that will be sent out companywide and I stayed away from my family for an additional 30 minutes. T’was a good day, tater.   Oh, and just to show I’m not being a paranoid asshole about my workplace situation (well, not as big a paranoid asshole as I already am), my co-worker recently attended this multi-day event as his job title dictates. Now all this guy put down on his expense report was mileage and hotel expenses. No food, drink or other miscellaneous costs. The day after he submitted his form, our one boss asked him, “In what capacity were you in attendance at this event?” What really makes this hilarious is that my co-worker deals in sales, and he’s never allowed to go anywhere. Well, he’s “allowed,” but he has to foot the bill for everything. This despite having a budget for this sort of thing that he’s not allowed to use. But to be fair, I have a similar budge for my department that I wouldn’t be able to tap into even with a sledgehammer.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/4: Protesting Planet Preservation Is A Croc

• Steve Irwin has just died thanks to a stingray putting a barb through his chest. I always liked the Crocodile Hunter program, even though half the time the show was about a dozen guys lying down on a reptile as if it were a drunk hot chick at Mardi Gras. Too bad this attack didn’t happen to Jeff Corwin; last night I was watching some retarded “HUGE MONSTERS” show with him pretending dinosaurs or some other large extinct animals were chasing him. Christ was this show awful. I kept watching this piece of shit just for the sheer awfulness of it all.   • Speaking of trash, I saw one of Morgan Spurlock’s hippie “30 Days” episodes tonight. I wish Morgan would spend 30 days provoking stingrays in their natural habitat. OMG spending 30 days in jail sucks. No fucking shit, genius. That’s why you don’t BREAK THE LAW. I love it when some guilt-ridden do-gooder tries to tug at your heartstrings by producing something like this “30 Days” show and you end up spending 90 percent of the program either laughing out loud or saying, “And what exactly am I supposed to be feeling bad about, douche bag?”   • I don’t care about tennis, but God I loved how every ESPN pundit I paid attention to was predicting Agassi to beat this Becker hippie and go on to face Andy Roddick or other some guy I have never heard of before and will never hear of again. Andre, you had a great career. You made a buttload of cash. You seem to actually care about the human race. This makes you a better person than me. Now go and fuck Steffi Graf a whole bunch of times. Just don’t force your kids to play the sport you and your wife succeeded in for all those years.   • Michael Caine isn't happy with today's films. Here’s an excerpt from the article I linked to:     I’m not a Caine-hater or anything like that, but should someone who played a prominent role in…     …be in any kind of position to comment on the awfulness of Hollywood?   • And finally, what the hell is wrong with people?     And here is a picture of this raucous crowd.     Oh well, at least these people can probably point out Pluto on a chart of our solar system. That’s better than those pseudo-hippies who protest child labor conditions in some Asian or South American shoe factory but can’t find the country they’re bitching about on a map.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/4: Mystery In Alaska

7 p.m.   • So did you all know that the GOP Vice President candidate has a 17-year-old kid who is knocked up? In another startling development, John Kerry served in Vietnam.   You know what, I don’t care if this chick is a Jesus freak. I’ve heard some of the stuff she’s said regarding God and all that shit, but you know what? I don’t care. I learned years ago that many of the people I vote for are in with the Bible-thumper crowd. But you know what? I don’t care. I’ve accepted that fact. Shit, Rick Santorum was my n*gga but I know if we ever had a conversation about theology for more than 5 minutes Rick would either damn my soul to hell or start a group prayer for my well-being.   Smues, I’m sure you can tell a bunch of stories about Palin regarding stuff I don’t want to hear, but when you’ve had this asshole as your governor for six years…     …even the Community Organizer will start to look appealing. Wait, check that. I can’t let that go. Fuck, I’d rather have Fast Eddie as my political figure than Osama. Now that’s saying something.   8 p.m.   • So what's our exit strategy for pulling out of Chicago?     Oh, yeah. The exit strategy for urban flight is getting a job and then a UHaul.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/4: Jury Duty -- The Return

7:45 p.m.   • kkk Bowl V is under way in the sports folder. If you have a team, make your picks (don't forget the Thursday game). If you don't and want to play along, just do so in the thread. Remember, anyone without a team that goes the entire season making picks gets first shot at claiming an open team next year.   • Bwahahaha. She got picked. And even after she told the legal people about her crack-whore sister and niece. When she asked me how she could have gotten out of jury duty, I replied that she should have commented on how these experiences have tainted her opinion of the legal system whereas her crack-whore sister doesn’t see a lick of jail time for all her law violations but Mrs. kkk could be held in contempt by saying she thinks jury duty is nothing more than a waste of time. In a way, I’m looking forward to my next stint just for the fact I will be using the terms “red diaper doper baby” and “lawyer dressed in a robe.” I also want to share my thoughts on how the justice system is so broken that if anyone breaks into my house I will do my best to make sure they don't get out alive because I don't want some scumbag defense attorney trying to convince a dozen of my so-called peers that just because the perp's mommy didn't give him iced animal crackers as a kid he should be allowed to roam the streets as my equal.   2:45 p.m.   • So the better half is at the local courthouse trying to get out of jury duty. She just phoned me and said the government workers asked her group if anyone knows someone who was convicted for robbery and/or is a heroin user. Oh man, this will be a cakewalk.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/30: Week 4 Pickkks

9:45 a.m.   • OK, time for this week’s NFL pickkks:   (4.5) Baltimore @ Cleveland Hmm, will the former Browns tear shit up or will the Browns give them a game? If I go with last year’s divisional winner getting the ship straight, then they won’t. If I go the other way, this will be the Week 1 Browns that had four different penalties on one play, not the Week 2 team that scored 50+ points. The Ravens secondary is better than Bengals. I’ll go with the former.   (3.5) Chicago @ Detroit Shit, another similar conundrum. Will having a new quarterback spark the Bears or will the Lions play them tougher than they did with the Eagles last week? I’ll go with the latter in this case.   (2.5) Green Bay @ Minnesota I have a feeling this one will bit me in the ass. I typically go with the Vikings at home against Favre, but I heard some stat on “Around the Horn” earlier in the week about the Packers quarterback having good games at Minnesota the last few years.   (3.5) Houston @ Atlanta The Falcons didn’t play that bad last week, did they?   (3.5) N.Y. Jets @ Buffalo I have no reason for this one.   Oakland @ Miami (4.5) I don’t even know if the Dolphins have won a game this year. I just chalk it up to another selection for no reason.   St. Louis @ Dallas (13.5) Even though this has all the makings of a “let down” game, the Cowboys have been blowing out teams they should be beating this year. Why change now?   (2.5) Seattle @ San Francisco Normally I give the division champ the benefit of the doubt, but here’s hoping this will be the “changing of the guard” over in the NFC West. I’m tired of the Seahawks finishing first over there.   Tampa Bay @ Carolina (3.5) I thought picking up David Carr was a good move, but I’m wondering if he’ll need a week or three to get into the Panther groove. I’m hoping the Carolina defense can hold the fort until then.   Denver @ Indianapolis (9.5) I was going to go with Indy, but called an audible at the line of scrimmage. Oh I hope this doesn’t come back to haunt me.   Kansas City @ San Diego (12.5) I don’t like the spread, but if there ever was a game for the Chargers to get back on the winning track, it’s this one.   (6.5) Pittsburgh @ Arizona I have no stats for this one. It’s been my experience that the Steelers always have trouble at Arizona.   (2.5) Philadelphia @ N.Y. Giants I’m still pissed at that Giants win last week. Go Donovan.   (7.5) New England @ Cincinnati Only 7.5 points against a defense that gave up 50+ to the Browns? Sign me up.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/30: Week 4 Pickkks

You should know the routine by now.   Arizona at Atlanta (7.5) Once again it looks like Arizona is headed down the “Hey many people selected us to be a ‘sleeper’ pick, but we’re still going lose” path. It’s still relatively early in the season to write the Cardinals off, but I’ll take my chances with Atlanta and that seven-and-a-half point spread.   (9.5) Dallas at Tennessee With all the T.O. talk this week, some may have forgotten that the Cowboys have a game to play on Sunday. And it’s against the powerhouse Titans. I think the real reason Owens wants to play this week is so he can pad his numbers against one of the league’s struggling teams. Either way, I’m betting on Dallas to win, but will they win by more than 10 points? I’d like to go back and review Tennessee’s defeats to see if most of them were close, but then I’d be thinking while making these picks – something I promised not to do. I’ll say sure, why not go with those Cowboys?   (9.5) Indianapolis at N.Y. Jets The Jets have been a scrappy team so far this year, and although I think Indy will win this game, the question is will they cover the spread. Well, the Jets head coach used to work on a team that had the Colts’ number, but because the Indianapolis offense had a light week against the Jaguars (especially in the first half) I’ll say a well-rested Manning leads his team to a double-digit victory.   (4.5) Miami at Houston Miami hasn’t looked good all year, and Houston hasn’t look good ever since they entered the league. I’ll say Miami will probably win, but Houston will make it close with the potential for an upset.   Minnesota at Buffalo (1.5) Interesting match-up. I’m curious to see how the Vikings react to last week’s loss. Will that loss to the Bears carry over into this week? I don’t know, but I’ll guess the Vikings in another upset.   New Orleans at Carolina (7.5) I think it’s funny the 3-0 Saints are such big underdogs against the 1-2 Panthers. It seems that Carolina starts the season out slow and finishes it hot, so based on that alone I’ll say the Panthers will win. But will they cover the spread? Because the Saints have defeated their other divisional opponents this year, I’ll side with them this week.   (2.5) San Diego at Baltimore Ben Roethlisberger played his first NFL game against the Ravens in Week 2 of the 2004-2005 season when he replaced an injured Tommy Maddox. If memory serves, he didn’t do too well. After two “tune-up” games, I think Phillip Rivers will experience what Big Ben went through.   San Francisco at Kansas City (7.5) I think Kansas City will win, but will they cover the spread? I’ll say … no.   Detroit at St. Louis (6.5) I think St. Louis will win, but will they cover the spread? I’ll say … sure.   (3.5) Cleveland at Oakland A true clash of the titans, and neither one is from Tennessee. Oakland has been pitiful this year so far, but are they pitiful enough to have Cleveland be the favored team in the black hole? At least Cleveland played Baltimore tough last week. I’ll go with the Browns.   (3.5) Jacksonville at Washington Washington had a big win last week, but it was against Houston. Jacksonville has had a hard schedule so far, and when a game at the Washington appears to be the “soft spot” in a team’s first four games, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.   New England at Cincinnati (6.5) Cincinnati has played well so far this year, and New England has looked vulnerable at times. I have to go with the Bengals, even though I think the Patriots have a chance to make this a close game.   Seattle at Chicago (3.5) The marquee NFC game of the week, I have a feeling one team will show up to play and the other one won’t. The problem is I don’t know which team will do what. Let’s see, in last year’s playoffs the Panthers crushed the Bears in Chicago, and Carolina got beat down the following week at Seattle. Based on this, I’ll side with the Seahawks.   Green Bay at Philadelphia (11.5) I don’t see Green Bay winning, but can they at least keep it somewhat close? For some reason, I’m thinking of that horrible overtime interception Favre threw in the 2003-2004 divisional playoffs against Philadelphia a few years ago (at least I’m pretty sure this is the game I’m thinking about). Is that a sign? I’ll say yes.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/3: Splitting Inside Household Duties

On Friday I talked about how the better half and I split the maintenance duties for our lawn, among other outdoor activities. I was going to talk about indoor cleaning responsibilities yesterday, but that damn Shittsburgh mayor just had to die from cancer Friday night, and I felt like talking about him instead. I swear one of these days I need to put my priorities in order.   I do most of the cooking and post-meal cleaning, but that’s because if I left washing dishes up to the better half she would use the dishwasher. I have a problem with dishwashers; I don’t know why (although this should provide some insight into my reasoning). I guess one reason is because dishwashers cross my laziness tolerance line. Nevertheless, most of the kitchen duties are mine, unless Mrs. kkk wants to bake cupcakes or something for a church event or some other get-together. I should note that my culinary skills don’t require much more than nuking veggies, cooking some meat in a skillet or putting something in the oven, so it’s not like I’m slaving away for several hours at some elaborate dish.   In regards to house cleaning, we have a weird system. Every few months the house will get cleaned, and most of the time it’s mostly done by just one of us. On Friday she cleaned most of the house while I was at work. However, the previous cleaning, which took place in early July, I spent an afternoon and evening running the vacuum cleaner and spraying chemicals all over the house. The last time we had a joint effort in cleaning up the house was this year’s Memorial Day weekend. Laundry duties are mostly separate because I don’t like running my clothes through the dryer at medium/high heat while Mrs. kkk does. However, if I’m washing my clothes and the better half’s hamper is full, then I’ll do a separate load or two with her stuff. I must say though that I completely stay away from washing the bedding; that’s all her.   So there you have it. Our “ying-yang” system has worked for seven-plus years now ever since we began living in sin. Funny enough, even though Jesus freaks and moralists decry couples cohabitating, I really don’t have a problem with it. If the couple is serious about their relationship, then I think they should see what living together and splitting household duties is like. Getting married is hectic enough, what with all the ceremony and reception planning (not to mention trying to pay this expensive date off afterward, but that’s another story for another time). Fighting over whose turn is it to take out the trash won’t help matters much to a newlywed couple when the honeymoon ends and real life begins (for the record, I’m the trash hauler). I also apply this “tryout” rule when it comes to child rearing. Before popping out a few demon seeds, how about adopting a dog or kitty (or two) from your local animal adoption agency and seeing what it’s like to be responsible for a life form that’s not as high-maintenance as a newborn baby?

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/3: Hang Our Current Jury System

7:30 p.m.   • So the better half was a bitch all day and whenever this sort of thing happens I just ignore it the best I can. Usually in these situations any guy will tell you that asking these headcases what’s wrong will get you the obligatory “nothing.” Then, hours later, they’ll do the usual, “honey, I have to tell you something.” Well, snookums, what is bothering you today – A loveless marriage? Not having any kids you can’t afford or will shake to death at the first sign of an all-night screamfest? One of the cats on a weeklong medication? Nope. She’s “uneasy” about going to jury duty tomorrow.   Oh Jesus Christ.   Look, jury duty is an abomination, but there’s nothing worth moping about for days prior to the event. You show up. You sit. You read. If you’re lucky, you go home. If not, you waste your time hearing some DUI case. I had the misfortune of being on a jury once. If you didn’t read the thread I posted in where I talked about my exquisite time performing this civic duty, here goes.  

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/29: Perv Pols – Checkmate

• Fucking Democrats will do anything to get their power back. How else can you explain this?     Well, I guess there’s one other scenario that might be applicable in this instance – this guy is OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND (allegedly, of course). What the hell is wrong with people? I honestly don’t know how I can make a wisecrack that’s better than the actual article itself. I mean, I guess I could say that if Barney Frank was doing this there wouldn’t be a story, but that joke is nothing when matched up against this.     • This is why I can never can fully embrace my brethren from the North. Canada, I like you and all, but not only are you a bit too tilted toward the socialist side of things for my taste, but also your freedom of speech laws leave something to be desired.     So displaying a picture of an aborted fetus is considered obscene? Larry Flynt could have one with a strap-on hitting it doggy-style with another fetus that didn’t make it through the third trimester and there would be people down here in the States calling that art (especially a particular politician from Florida; allegedly, of course).   • Well of course those “Bumfights” videos made some teens go out and pummel a homeless person to death. I guess Lionel Tate’s lawyer now has a new client to defend.     • And speaking of rumbles, screw their actual chess matches, I want to see these two retards duke it out in the parking lot.     In high school I joined the chess club during my junior and senior years. Well, actually my friend and I signed up just to play in some day-long tournament that was held at our school once a year. Hey, it beat going to class. The first match of the day always had me pitted against a kid from another school who attended this event to get out of class, too. We'd talk more about sports than we played. I usually won those games because my opponent would lose his queen first. In my second match of the day I always played against some kid who knew what he was doing, and I would get my king handed to me in no time. I'd then play a match against someone dumb like me, followed by some uber-smart kid. We also had free cookies and drinks, so all in all it wasn't that bad a day. In fact, after our junior year about a dozen other kids like us who attended just to get out of a day’s worth of classes joined my friend and me in next year’s tournament. Funny thing is that some of these kids were pretty good chess players, which pissed off those who actually attended this club's regular meetings.   • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this). Although the lady who phoned in and said she was “afraid” that her husband wanted to teach their kid the alphabet at too early an age and the guy who asked if it was OK to watch horror movies with his four-year old son are both good candidates, they can't top this one. A woman called in and asked at what age her kids should learn that their dad is a convicted sex offender. When asked how old her kids were, the caller replied, “19 and 16.”

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/29: College Football Praise -- Yes, I Said "College Football"

4:15 a.m.   • Better late than never I guess, you academic asshole.     • Earlier today I watched ESPN's college football show for the first time. I might watch future episodes. My favorite part was the sign in the background that read "Lou Holtz for Prethadent." Man that's cold. "O.J. stole my tickets" finished second, but I've watched too many wrestling shows in my lifetime that had similar signs in the crowd. I hate to say it, but for the past year or so I've gotten more interested in watching college football. I don't actually care about any of the teams (although I wanted Texas to beat USC a few years ago), and the fact there's no official playoff system makes these contests nothing more than exhibition games, but in regards to just to "watching football," it's been a surprisingly enjoyable experience.   8:45 a.m.   • So recently some college football coach went off on a columnist for writing a mean column about his one player.   Here’s the column in question.     I’m rather indifferent on if the coach should have called out this columnist – the PTI boys didn’t approve (wonder why). However, I will say this: Whenever these stories pop up, and the argument of “OMG the reporter has a right to free speech,” doesn’t the coach or representative from the team have a right to call out the writer? It’s hilarious to witness, whenever an incident like this happens, how the reporters in the room just stand there and take it, and even though their expressions are not shown on camera, I’m sure many of them have a deer-in-headlights-look. It would be great if a journalist would just respond back, “Yeah I wrote that – prove me wrong, bitch.” Hell, get up on stage with your accuser and have a field day. Now that would make for great television. On a somewhat related story, I remember last year Tony Kornheiser got all pissy when some in the media bashed him for his "Monday Night Football" announcing early into the season. I agreed that it was a bit too early to say he was terrible at this, but is it still "too early"? Amazing how critics/commentators have some of the thinnest skin.   Having read this column, all I have to say is that if a reporter is gonig to say things like "If you believe the rumors and the rumblings...", "Word is...", "Other times, though, Reid has been nicked in games and sat it out instead of gutting it out," then you better have the evidence to back this up. Otherwise, get ready to defend yourself. At least she was able to prove that this quarterback does get the jitters before games.   Oh, and here's the best part of this whole story. From the AP.     • The starting U.S. goalie in the women’s world cup thing got benched for some chick who played good against Brazil several years ago. The starting goalie, Hope Solo, then bitched about being benched after America lost 4-0 and trashed her coach and teammate.     Solo had no reason to be benched due to her play. Now there’s the “she’s a whiner/threw team under the bus” talk, but in this case I don’t blame her. She was probably still pissed from losing, and to make matters worse she had to watch the carnage while sitting on the sideline. If I was her teammate (outside of perhaps the goalie who replaced her), I’d rather have her get pissed off over this than just sit there and say the usual “oh, it’s OK we’re a happy team go U.S.A.” crap.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

9/28: #9, Finding A Match In Love, Work

kkk's Top 103 Posters     Number 9: Mr. Rant   Rant and I go back like receding hairlines. Well, maybe not that far back. But far back enough to remember classic moments like this. Rant can be a bit of a mystery. The same person who posts material like this will recoil and show the claws at the slightest mention of his crumb-snatcher. Oh, yeah, when he’s not posting god-knows-what (I know better than to click on any link in a thread titled, "This completely ruins a good cum bath, NSFW"), he’s helping our computers stay virus-free so we can see just what completely ruins a good cum batch. While I'm on this subject, is it really necessary to put a "NSFW" warning to a thread titled "THIS COMPLETELY RUINS A GOOD CUM BATH?" Did I mention he also has a soft spot for a certain kind of household pet and doesn't care for a certain sect of our society?   6:30 p.m.   • Had the interview this morning. Will I get invited back? No idea. Like I’ve said before, when you already have a job going to interview at another place is much easier. When you’re unemployed or trying to get something that is somewhat related to the 4+ years of post-high school study to took the wait to get a call back is nerve-racking. When you already have a 9 to 5 and you’re waiting for a response there’s actually somewhat of an annoyance to get a response because now you have to dip into vacation time (although I didn’t this time because of the 13 hours I put in the other weekend). I think this was one of my better interviews – much better than my first outing. My time was cut short because they had another interview scheduled – some twenty-something chick. Oh well.   You know what I am jealous of in regards to chicks? When dressing up, they can go a number of routes – pants, dress, blouse, sweater, etc. For guys it’s a coat, tie and pants. Then again, it’s good to be simple. So far I have been treated relatively well by this place. It’s amazing how unprofessional some places can be in the job-hiring process. Yeah I know I’m the job seeker and the company is the job holder, but sometimes I wonder if the hiring people have any idea how awful it makes their organization look when they don’t return calls or drop correspondence after giving their word to contact someone with the results of a hiring. But what do I know. I don’t have a human resources degree.   Best-case scenario: I get a job I’ll probably bitch about a year or so from now. Worst-case scenario: I got some new dress clothes on clearance and updated my portfolio. Either way, I also have Monday off. Yay and stuff. And always remember: There's always someone out there who can do your job better and cheaper than you. The trick is to get hired before the interviewer finds them. That way, you can at least collect unemployment if you get canned.   • You know what I’ve thought about doing? Making a profile on eharmony.com. No, I’m not thinking about cheating on Mrs. kkk. My reason for this is because I’m curious to know what a “match” would be for me. I know I’m going to regret finding the estrogen version of me, but it’s one of those things that you can’t get out of your head. That is until you see the opposite gender of you. I’m sure after that it’ll be one of those things I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head even though I’ll make every attempt to do so.   • So there has been road construction in my neighborhood for the last two weeks, and the better half has been bitching nonstop about them not putting a “ramp” thing by our driveway, which they stripped before the repaving process. I’ve been telling her for the last 10 days they’re probably going to “re-ramp” everybody’s driveways when everything else is done, but instead of hearing “you may have a point,” I’ve been getting, “I better not be driving over that bump in front of our driveway/this is bullshit.” Well guess what the construction people did about 10 minutes ago? Yep.   • John Edwards, if you can make good on this promise, I just might vote for you. But I want results first.     "What he can do about inner-city kids partaking in violence." Good God.

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