OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 4/10/03

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

APRYL 10th, 2003

 

We immediately cut to the ring, where THE FINK~ is standing.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin the festivities, let us salute the man who STARTED the HeldDOWN phenomenon…”

 

The crowd pops already, as they know it’s their favorite lumberjack.

 

“CobainWasMurdered, C……W……M~!”

 

The crowd gives a standing ovation as we fade to the OPENING!

 

*BOOM* “Hold me Down” by Tommy Lee plays as a kick-ass opening to the inaugural HeldDOWN takes the stage. It includes clips of OLD and new, from Goodhelmet to OAOAST CHAMPION ZACK MALIBU!

 

The camera pans the audience, 30,000 strong, all holding signs for HeldDOWN competitors. One smart-ass has a “BPP” sign, and promptly gets DESTROYED by the people around him. We head to our ANNOUNCERS…yes, they’re BACK!

 

 

Cole: OMG GOD~! Hello everyone and welcome to the RETURN OF HELDDOWN~! I’m MICHAEL COLE…

Coach: AND I’M DA COACH! WHAT A SHOW WE HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT!

Cole: Zack Malibu DEFENDS HIS CHAMPIONSHIP against all of the Dream Machines!

Coach: IntenseWHO?

 

“Princes of the Universe” hits and we’re ready for the FIRST match of the new HeldDOWN! Out comes The Gladiator, a stoic badass. He’s only had one loss, and has NEVER been pinned,, and looks to carry his record to HeldDOWN.

 

“Sure Know Something” hits and out comes Starbearer! A newcomer in the OAOAST, he faces a mighty challenge in Gladiator.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Starbearer, ignorantly, signals for a test of strength, which Gladiator takes. He obviously wins it, and sends Starbearer into the corner. Bearer charges forward and catches a big POWERSLAM as a result. Gladiator drops a few elbows, picks Starbearer up, and brings him right back down with a SPIKE PILEDRIVER for two.

 

Whilst catching his breath, Bearer recovers, and goes low with a kick to the midsection on Gladiator. He picks him UP and brings him DOWN with a side salto. Bearer hits some kicks and punches to the back, and brings Gladiator down again with a side suplex. Starbearer with a cross corner whip, and as Gladiator comes out, Bearer sets up for the stalling suplex…but while up in the air, Gladiator comes down, and hits Starbearer with a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX~! Cover gets 2 ¾ as Bearer’s foot is on the ropes.

 

Starbearer tries to fight back with punches, but Gladiator shakes them off and NAILS him with the ROARING ELBOW! When he gets up, though, Bearer gets an eye rake, which throws Gladiator off. Bearer goes for the Love Gun, but as he’s going through the air, Gladiator gains control and stops him, and from the position in mid-air, brings him DOWN WITH THE TAUE CHOKEBOMB~! Cover:

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: The Gladiator (via the Taue Chokebomb)

 

Cole: WOW! Gladiator continues his winning with a victory over Starbearer.

Coach: Hey, I like this Starbearer guy~! At a few points during the match he was making Gladiator his BITCH!

Cole: Well then! When we come back, it looks like we’ll have a contest for the X Championship, as…wait a minute…

 

“Dream On” hits and ANGLESAULT comes out to a HUGE mixed reaction. He is VERY pissed off, and immediately signals for a mic.

 

“Let me get this off my chest: I AM NOT HAPPY~! Ever since losing my title to Zack, ever since finding out about this “brand extension”, and ever since taking a look at the PATHETIC roster HeldDOWN has, I am NOT in the best of moods these days.”

 

“I mean, seriously. Half the roster is people I don’t even know. K-Money? K-MONEY? The person that thinks he can step up to ME, the former 2-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? HA! I’ll tell you what, Mr. Money, this is me. And THIS is me…NOT CARING~!”

 

“Serve the Servants” hits and OMG~! IT’S THE SUPERSTAR~!

 

“Anglesault, Anglesault, Anglesault…as hard as it is to believe, I AGREE with you! HeldDOWN is absolutely pathetic! And these people have the GALL to think it’s our EGOS saying that? Ha! There is not one PERSON, let alone one TEAM, that could take on the superior ability you and I have. Not ONE. In fact…”

 

“I’M BAAAACK~!”

 

Coach: What in the hell?

Cole: OMG GOD COACH! OMG! CAN IT BE?

Coach: Can it be wh…OH MY GAWD~! IT IS! IT’S…IT’S…

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

IT’S TREBLE CHARGED~!!!!!!!!

 

The Superstar and Anglesault are in utter DISBELIEF as the man himself, Tim “Treble Charged” Moysey steps out of the curtain, in 3-piece suit. Superstar is the first to recover from his shock.

 

“T-T-Treble Cleft? What in the hell are YOU doing here? Go back to sitting on the streets clamoring about being the greatest Women’s Champion of all time or something!”

 

Tim smirks and grabs the microphone, not taking his eyes off AS & SS.

 

"You fans may know me as 'treble charged'. Anglesault, you may know me as 'treble cleft', but from know on, you will all know me as 'Tim Moysey'. Now, you all may wonder what I'm doing here, and well, I have an answer to that. You see, I was contacted by the OAOAST powers that be and they asked me to come to the first heldDown. The reason they wanted me here, you ask. Well, they asked me if I would do something, and after thinking about it for about half a second, I agreed to become YOUR new General Manager!

 

The crowd EXPLODES at the announcement.

 

“That's right. The balance of power has shifted. Anglesault, I’m looking you in the eye right now, and after months of putting me in humiliating angles and matches last year, the shoe is now on the other foot. Now, I try not to hold grudges, but if I'm not too sympathetic to your needs and wants, well, I'm sure you'll understand. But I didn't come back just to screw with Anglesault's head, no. Y'see, I came back to help restore this great place to it's once former glory. Now, I can't do this all by myself, but I make a promise to YOU, the OAOAST fans, and specifically the heldDown fans, that I will do whatever I can in my role of GM to put on the best damn shows I can every week, right here, on heldDown!

 

“Something I *AM* committed to, is giving these people EXACTLY what they want. And what do they want? They want to see someone or, more specifically, TWO people BEAT YOU, right here tonight so you can FINALLY shut the hell up!”

 

Superstar speaks up.

 

“And just WHO in their right mind thinks they can beat US? We’re the fucking dream team of HeldDOWN!”

 

“None other than THE BOOGIE KNIGHTS!”

 

SS & AS simply laugh it off. Anglesault speaks.

 

“The dancing fools? Hell, do they even have one month under their belts? Thank you SO much, Mr. Moysey, for ensuring a win for yours truly. I appreciate it. Oh, and by the way…welcome back.”

 

Out of nowhere, The Superstar charges from behind…but Tim sees it coming, turns around, and catches SS with the TREBLE CHARGER DDT! He runs for Anglesault, but he bails out of the ring. Tim threatens to lock SS in the Toronto Maple Leaf, but SS scampers off before anything else can happen, and “I’m Back” hits as Treble Charged walks backstage.

 

Coach: I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS! TIM MOYSEY, or Treble Charged, for you older fans, is THE GENERAL MANAGER OF HELDDOWN!

Cole: What a shock, and can you believe it~? The Superstar and Anglesault take on the BOOGIE KNIGHTS, tonight!

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

The Purist is standing in the ring with James E. Cornette. Cornette has the Mic.

 

Cole: What is THIS all about?

Coach: It looks like we are about to hear from James E. Cornette, he’s a legend in the business, to be sure. However, in recent weeks he’s been nothing but trouble for the OAOAST.

 

Cornette: “Last week, we saw a match that was nothing more than a sick and depraved display. It turns my stomach to see six athletes of the caliber we have here in the OAOAST, resort to mindless depravity, simply to get over.”

 

Cole: Come on, that’s just taking a cheap shot at some brave men who risked it all for our fans.

Coach: I don’t know who Cornette thinks he is. Maybe he’s forgotten this business is about what the FANS want, not about his narrow view of what pro wrestling should be.

 

Cornette: “This is what we have been trying to tell you all. This crap- that’s what we call it because that’s what it is- is not wrestling. This crap, is nothing more than silliness. To better illustrate our point, I will turn the Mic over to my client- THE PURIST.”

 

Purist: “I’ve seen a lot of disgusting things in my life. Hell, I’ve even been to New Jersey. But last Monday was easily the most vomit-inducing piece of sludge I’ve ever seen. The fact that you people would do that to each other- and that you morons would cheer it- sickens me. In fact…”

 

Purist’s charming diatribe is cut off by “Princes of the Universe” by Queen. Out comes Gladiator, and it appears all is forgiven between Gladiator and the fans. They give him a warm reaction. Purist looks a bit worried, after all; who wouldn’t be? Cornette grabs the Mic.

 

Cole: WHOAH! It looks like someone has had enough of Purist!

 

Cornette (A bit nervously, but still exuding arrogance): “Don’t get the wrong idea, Gladiator. We think you’re a tremendous athlete. Really we do… right Purist?

 

Purist: “Hold it a minute, Jim…”

 

Cornette winces, he knows what’s coming.

 

Purist: “You may think you can just walk down here and everyone’s gonna bow down just because you’re a few inches taller. Well, you don’t scare me or my fearless manager JAMES E. CORNETTE!”

 

Cornette looks like he wants to cry.

 

Gladiator (Walking towards the ring): “You insult the match; that’s fine. You insult us; that’s fine. But when you insult the fans, just so you can get a little cheap heat…”

 

Purist looks offended.

 

Gladiator: “That’s right. That’s all it is: Cheap heat. Then you piss me off.”

 

Purist: “I’m sick of this play-nice crap! You think just because you’re 6’10 you can talk to me like that? You’re in for a world of hurt.”

 

Gladiator is now in the ring. They staredown.

 

Gladiator: “Fine little man. Hurt me.”

 

Purist goes for a cheap shot, but Gladiator blocks. He headbutts Purist with his helmet on; knocking him down and out. He looks over at Cornette. The fans come alive.

 

Gladiator: “Cornette…it looks like the crowds, have given you a THUMBS DOWN.”

 

Cornette tries to run, but Gladiator grabs him and headbutts him too. He takes him to the outside, picks him up and POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Purist gets up just in time to see it, and is furious. He gets a Mic.

 

Purist: “You think it’s over? NO ONE TOUCHES CORNETTE! NO ONE! I’ll get you, dammit!”

 

OAOAST X Championship:

Brock Ausstin vs. Angle-plex ©

 

“War Ensemble” hits and Brock power-walks out, followed closely by “Good Ol’ ECDub, Rick Heyross. Brock does the HAPPY DANCE, since he won at Anglemania, and tonight he has a chance to win X-Division GOLD.

 

3…2…1…BOOM! “Song 2” blares through the arena, and out comes the new X Champion, Angle-plex, to a mixed reaction. After winning the 6 man Hell in the Cell on IntenseZone, he’s showing he is the GREATEST OAOAST WRESTLER EVAAA by defending his title tonight.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

The two men circle each other, and Brock SHOVES AP down, and screams and POSES~! AP charges at him, goes under his legs, and trips him up. With Brock down on his face, AP drops an ELBOW. Brock uses his SHEER POWER to pick himself up, but Agnes brings him down with the BELLY TO BACK SLAM! AP covers for a two count.

 

Brock quickly scampers out of the cover, and gives Angle-plex the CLOTHESLINE OF MASS DESTRUCTION. Brock sends AP into the corner and gives him some massive shoulder thrusts. Brock SCREAMS (the signal for the “I’m Going to Eat your Soul”) and sets AP up…but Angle-plex back drops out! AP does some PUSH-UPS, and brings Brock into the corner, and onto the top rope…HANGING SUPERPLEX~!!!!!

 

Coach & Cole: FEEL~ the blood rushing to the head!

 

AP covers, but Brock KICKS OUT AT TWO WITH AUTHORITY. Brock stands up and catches AP with the Hossly Goodness. He screams again, and locks Agnes in the KILLING HULKAMANIACS! Angle-plex is struggling, but BOXES Brock’s ears to break the hold! AP charges into the ropes and hits one clothesline…two clotheslines, and a THIRD finally takes Brock down! As Brock is getting up, AP locks him in the COMBUSTION…but Brock lifts him up onto his shoulders for the F-STUNNER-5~!! But wait, Angle-plex spins out! Brock turns around…THE MUSHROOM CLOUD~!!!! AP covers: 1……2……3!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: Angle-plex (via the Mushroom Cloud)

 

Cole: WHAT A GIGANTIC WIN FOR ANGLE-PLEX!

Coach: You’re DAMN right, Cole! Angle-plex slew himself a MONSTER tonight!

 

We see Calvin Szechstein and Terry Simmons walking backstage. The smaller Szechstein has one arm wrapped around Simmons' arms, pulling him close as though Calvin were sharing some sort of intense secret.

 

"So, big man," Szechstein casually says. "What'd you think of IntenseZone?"

 

"IntenseZone sucks," Simmons replies, smiling.

 

"I agree. Now then, Terry, it seems to me that the people... well... they just don't really like you, I suppose."

 

"... what do you mean?"

 

"Oh no, Terry, don't get me wrong. I'm sure they think you're a nice guy and all. It just doesn't seem like they take to you in the ring, you know?"

 

"...no. The people love me."

 

"Well, you see, Terry, that's what I thought too. But Sony music - they're endorsing our theme song - they were telling me that they had to get a track of a bunch of people saying "SIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMONS!" for your version of the Pepsi jingle."

 

"...okay, so they don't care. What am I supposed to do?"

 

Szechstein stops next to a door marked "Clothing". He opens the door. "Terry, baby, this is what we do."

 

Calvin enters the room, and Simmons and the camera follow. As we enter we can see racks and racks of suits, ties, racks, tights, t-shirts, baggy jeans - it's all inside, and Szechstein grabs a suit off of one of the hooks.

 

"You see this bad boy, Terry? Armani gave twenty of these to us to use however we please. One of these will run you $1,995.95, and they're available at a store near you!" Szechstein smiles and winks into the camera, before continuing his conversation with Terry. "The way I see it, this bad boy will make you famous. Look at it - it may seem like your normal black suit, but look at the tiny golden pinstripes. That's real 24-karat gold right there, Terry, they'll love it. Try it on."

 

Simmons uneasily grabs the coat, putting it on over his "I Love Terry Simmons (and Mountain Dew)" shirt. "Fits pretty nice." Terry hops up and down, doing the HAPPY DANCE~! "I can do that in it. It should work like a charm!"

 

Calvin slaps Terry on the back. "THAT'S the spirit, Terry baby!" Szechstein plucks a watch off of one of the racks and holds it up. "You see this, Terry? This thing is a solid-gold watch, nuclear-style so it never goes wrong. You can find one of these, the Rolex Gold 2010, for $795.99, at a store near you!" Calvin poses with the watch for the camera before continuing with the conversation. "Terry, Rolex gave us ten of these watches to use however we saw fit. Now, normally I'd tell you to wear one, but I'm not sure that the fans would react well to that."

 

Simmons shoots Szechstein an icy stare. "So...?"

 

"So you're going to wear TWO of them!"

 

Simmons looks at Szechstein, a puzzled look on his face. "Why do I need two watches?"

 

Calvin lets out a long, overexaggerated sigh. "Because, if you've got double the swag, you'll get double the covers on mags!"

 

Simmons nods. "I gotcha."

 

Calvin hands Terry the watches. "Here, put these on while I go find you a new pair of tights."

 

We watch Simmons clumsily put on the watches for a few seconds, and then he looks up and his jaw drops. The camera pans over... to see Calvin Szechstein, holding a pair of orange tights with the Mountain Dew LiveWire logo airbrushed onto them, and a red vest with the Mountain Dew Code Red logo airbrushed onto it. Szechstein looks at Simmons, nodding and grinning.

 

"You like it? I think if you wear this, not only will they love you, but the people at Pepsi will give us a bonus on our endorsement check this month."

 

Simmons sighs. "If it'll make people like me..."

 

"...and make us money. A fat hundred g's of money, no less."

 

Simmons looks up. "One-double-oh-k?"

 

Szechstein smiles. "Oh yes. If you wear this stuff, and we get more people involved, we might even get our own outlet to sell this stuff."

 

Simmons sighs again. "Fine - but I'm not doing it because it looks good."

 

"Right. You're doing it because it'll make the people love you."

 

"Right."

 

"And it'll make Uncle Cal and Brother Terry a lot of the ol' greenbacks."

 

"Oh yes."

 

"Now, about that finisher..."

 

Simmons' and Szechstein's conversation continues as we fade out...

 

Cole: Up next, it’s THE GREATEST HOSS OF ALL TIME!!! TERRY SIMMONS!!!! Oh, well, not wrestling, but you know.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

The Slacker vs. Calvin Szechstein (w/ TERRY SIMMONS~!)

 

The Coca-Cola jingle plays and Calvin Szechstein walks out with his HOSS, Terry Simmons. The announcer, as always, does his intro.

 

“Now entering the ring, representing OAT TOAST and HeldDOWN Magazine, he hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, home of Miller, the OAOAST, in association with OAOAST Home Video presents ANGLEMANIA II, is proud to present Calvin Szechstein, As Brought To You By Coca-Cola!”

 

“Back Up” by 12 Stones hits and The Slacker comes out to an underwhelming reaction. He enters the ring lackadaisically.

 

Cole: This could be a great match BUT OH MY GOD WOULD YOU LOOK AT TERRY SIMMONS.

Coach: I’M IN LOVE, COLE, LOVE. SIMMONS HAS THE GREATEST BODY I’VE EVER SEEN~! AND HE’S SO AGILE!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Calvin and Slacker circle each other, and Calvin calls for a lockup. However, too lazy to do anything, Slacker ignores him. Frustrated, Calvin gets right in Slacker’s face, asking what’s the matter with him.

 

Suddenly, Calvin’s allergies pick up, and he SNEEZES on Slacker…but SLACKER DROPS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS! Calvin covers with one finger: 1…2…3~!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: Calvin Szechstein (via the SNEEZE OF DOOM)

 

Cole: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! WE’VE BEEN HAD! BUT WOULD YOU LOOK AT SIMMONS!

Coach: He is one SEXY beast. And I’ve seen JINGUS naked.

Cole: I guess we'll have to wait till NEXT WEEK to see what this is all about.

 

"Alien Shore" by Rush hits as four individuals make their way to the ring. They all have long hair and look right out of an 80s hair metal band. One of the individuals grabs a microphone as the music dies down.

 

Guy: FOSHI! FOSHIIII!

 

The fans don't know what to make.

 

Guy: The OAOAST has finally been graced by the presence and musical genius of FOSHI!

 

One of the guys in the back comes forward and leans into the mic.

 

Other Guy: FOSHI!

 

He returns to where he was standing.

 

Guy: Allow me to introduce us. We are Foshi! We are HUGE JAPANESE METAL STARS! Foshi is number one!

 

Other Guy: FOSHI!

 

Guy: On bass guitar and vocals.... I AM MONGOOSE FOSHI!

 

He turns to the others and points.

 

Mongoose: On guitar, DIMEBAG FOSHI AND FOSHI FOSHI!

 

The two of them play air guitar.

 

Mongoose: And lastly, but not in the least bit leastly, on drums, MYSTERIOUS FOSHI!

 

MMF stands quiet and proud.

 

Mongoose: Foshi is here and Foshi is just! Foshi will win over the hearts of the fans. Women love us and men want to be like us! We will take OAOAST by storm and not just because we can, but because that is what everyone wants. You will love Foshi! Foshi you cannot resist! FOSHI NUMBER ONE! And before, we go, we will leave you with our newest video. It's off our album FUSHIMANIA! We like to call it COOKED SUSHI!

 

"Cooked Sushi" begins to play as the members of Fushi make their way out of the ring and back down the aisle. Dimebag signs an autograph for a little kid, who didn't exactly ask for it. He joins up with the others as they disappear behind the curtains.

 

Cole: Well that was…uh, unique.

Coach: FOSHI NUMBAH ONE~!!!!!!!

Cole: Give me a break. That was the first time you’ve heard them.

Coach:… FOSHI!

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

ZsasZ vs. The Purist

 

“Paint it Black” hits and out comes the former X-Champion, ZsasZ. He’s starting to get a more positive response as the weeks go by.

 

The striking chords of…no music hit and The Purist, accompanied as always by Jim Cornette, walks out. He calmly enters the ring and stares down his opponent.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

ZsasZ and Purist circle each other, and lock up. Purist pushes Zsasz into the corner, and brings him back with a SUPLEX. Purist goes for an early Boston Crab…but ANGLE-PLEX RUNS OUT~! Jim Cornette stands on the apron, distracting the referee. AP nods to Cornette, and BLASTS Zsasz with the X Championship!

 

The fans begin booing, so, nervously, AP blasts PURIST with a belt shot as well! Shocked, Cornette turns the referee around, and seeing only The Purist falling after a belt shot, the ref calls for the DQ!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: The Purist by DQ (via an Angle-plex belt shot)

 

Cole: Agnes was trying to do the right thing, but it ended up costing ZsasZ the match!

Coach: The enigma won’t be too happy with that ending.

 

We head backstage, where, OMG, The Superstar is talking to none other than Rick Heyross, and Brock Ausstin! Superstar seems to have slipped Rick some money, but noticing the camera, Superstar quickly changes the subject.

 

“I, uh, noticed that Brock has a lot of potential, and he’ll DEFINITELY be a main eventer in the coming months. So uh, I’ll see you guys later.”

 

Coach: What the hell was THAT all about?

Cole: I think we may see MORE of Brock tonight. Up next, it’s The Boogie Knights, and it’s The Superstar & Anglesault, and IT IS NEXT~!

 

::Backstage, Crystal is making her way from the control booth, where she's been helping out since she can't compete this week, to her locker room. She pushes the door open, and it's . . . dark inside? Crystal walks in and cuts the light on, and SPIDERPOET IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!::

 

SP: (Wickedly grinning) Miss me?

 

::Crystal tries to get away, but SP grabs her arm tightly::

 

Crystal: You're sick, you know that?

 

SP: Only on my better days. ::he yanks her fully into the room and slams the door shut:: Let's chat, kiddo.

 

Crystal: What do you want? I guess hitting me with that steel chair last week wasn't enough for you, was it?

 

SP: You're lucky I didn't take your head off. You're lucky I don't do it now. (SP shoves her down into a chair and pulls a chair up in front of her and sits down) I'm gonna ask a question. You're going to answer. Or you sit the next few MONTHS out, if you catch my drift.

 

Crystal:(looks to see that there is no way out and sighs) And what question would that be?

 

SP: (Sneering) Why are you getting involved in my BUSINESS? Can't take your losses?

 

Crystal: Hey, Widow came to me, not vice versa. And all I did was tell her the truth. Not my fault that you're a crappy boyfriend...

 

SP: She SHOULDN'T have gone to you. I can handle my own damned affairs.

 

Crystal: Judging from Widow, you obviously can't.

 

SP: She's an Infernale. And as an Infernale, I'm going to put an end to this.

 

Crystal: How? By hitting me with another steel chair? Brave, real brave.

 

SP: (Leans forward with that wicked grin) The brave are determined by history. And history is written by the survivors. (SP stands and raises the chair, snapping it shut)

 

::Crystal gets up to try to wrestle the chair out of Spider's hand, but gets pushed hard against the wall for her efforts. Crystal groans and grabs her hurting neck::

 

SP: (Grinning with a sick glee) See ya 'round, kid. (He winds up with the chair as Crystal is paralyzed by the pain in her neck)

 

::The locker room door flings open and BLACK WIDOW arrives::

 

Widow: Drop it! NOW.

 

SP: (Frozen) Close the door. Leave. It's better this way. Trust me.

 

Widow: Drop it. Now.

 

SP: (Coldly drops the chair and draws to his full height.) Fine. (He backs away from Crystal and stops beside Widow, locking eyes with her) You two wenches deserve one another. (He leaves)

 

Widow: (Moves to Crystal's side and helps ease her down in a chair) You ok, kid?

 

Crystal: Yeah, I think so. Thanks. I can only imagine what he would've done if you hadn't come...

 

Widow: Yeah . . . I should go. Catch up with him. Calm him down. Find someone to buddy up with, ok? I'll stick to him, steer him clear of you.

 

Crystal: I will...and please, be careful.

 

Widow: (With her best smile) Always. Heal up. (Widow backs out of the room)

 

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

The Superstar & Anglesault vs. Boogie Knights 2k3

 

“Komodo” hits and we see shots of raves on the AngleTron as the slow beat continues. Once the beat picks UP, Kotzenjunge and Zorin dance out, glowsticking and showing off hot dance moves.

 

“Serve the Servants” hits and the crowd BOOS as The Superstar struts out. He waits near the ring for his partner.

 

“Dream On” plays and out walks the PISSED-OFF former champion, Anglesault. SS & AS enter the ring, and the match begins!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Superstar and Kotzenjunge start out, and after a brief counter-wrestling sequence, Superstar gets a shoulderblock and an elbow drop. He goes for a German Suplex, but Kotz breaks the waistlock and gets a front suplex. Superstar gets up and charges, but Kotz catches him with a drop toe-hold. Superstar scampers to his corner and tags in Anglesault.

 

Sault suggests that he and Kotz do some amateur wrestling, and mistakenly, Kotz accepts. Anglesault goes OLYMPIC~ on Kotzenjunge, using various amateur takedowns and holds. When they both get up after one exchange, Kotz says “Fuck this shit~!” and kicks Anglesault STIFFLY in the ribs, and gives him a DDT! Kotzenjunge tags in Zorin, who hops over the ropes in preparation for the 2-time OAOAST Champion.

 

Anglesault charges at Zorin, but immediately takes an EXPLODER SUPLEX! Zorin goes for a whip, but Sault reverses it into the Sweet Emotion! Cover gets two. Anglesault tags in Superstar while holding onto Zorin, and Superstar comes off the top with a MISSILE DROPKICK~! Superstar goes for the Star Power Driver, but Zorin reverses into a roll-up for two. However, Superstar takes his HEAD OFF with a lariat. Superstar takes Zorin into the corner and unloads on him with chops and kicks, but soon Zorin fights back! However, Anglesault distracts the ref, and Superstar gives Zorin the finger before a WELL PLACED KICK TO THE NUTS~! Zorin collapses, but Superstar rolls him up, with a blatant pull of the tights! ONE…TWO…THREENO~!!!! Kotzenjunge broke up the count! Anglesault tries to get in the ring, but the ref stops him, allowing Kotz to give SS a falling reverse DDT! He puts Zorin on top…for TWO!

They both get up and Superstar catches Zorin with the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER~! However, instead of keeping it in too long, Superstar tags in Anglesault, who clotheslines Zorin out of his boots. He whips Zorin into the ropes and catches him with the LAST CHILD! Anglesault goes up top for the SaltSault, but Kotzenjunge PUSHES HIM OFF! Zorin crawls, and makes the HOT TAG TO KOTZENJUNGE~! He’s a house of fire, hitting Superstar and Anglesault multiple times with clotheslines and punches. However, when Kotzenjunge lines up Anglesault for a STIFF KICK, Superstar turns him around, kicks him, and nails the DOWNFALL~! At the same time, Zorin grabs Anglesault, and gives him the FLAWLESS BOMB~!

 

But wait…someone pulls Zorin out of the ring…IT’S BROCK AUSSTIN~!!! He throws Zorin onto the guardrail and gives him SHOULDER THRUSTS OF DOOM! He sets him up for an F-STUNNER-5 into the ring post…but here comes TIM MOYSEY~!! TIM MOYSEY~!! Tim lays in punches on Brock to break up the F-Stunner-5! Brock turns around and gets planted by the SPEAR! Brock no-sells it, but gets caught with the TREBLE CHARGER DDT~! While the ref is tied up with this, Superstar and Anglesault look to finish off Kotzenjunge…but IT’S K-MONEY~! K dashes into the ring, and immediately goes after Anglesault! He sets him up for the Money Clip, but Superstar gives him a low blow. He lays in some more shots, and tells Anglesault to “get the sledge!” Sault obliges, lines Money up…but K MONEY MOVES AND ANGLESAULT HITS SUPERSTAR WITH THE SLEDGE~! K-Money Cactus-Clotheslines Superstar out of the ring, and Anglesault turns around…right into THE FINAL RECORD BY KOTZENJUNGE~!!! Kotz covers:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE~!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winners: Boogie Knights 2k3 (via the Final Record)

 

Coach: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! OMG! UPSET OF THE CENTURY~!

Cole: GPAS!! What a WIN! UNBELIEVABLE!

 

The Knights celebrate their win by DANCING and GLOWSTICKING! They Glowstick their way back up the aisle, and Superstar & Anglesault are still in the ring. However, they don’t see K MONEY return, and he gives Superstar THE MONEY CLIP~! K then goes to Anglesault and locks in the BOUNCED CHECK as referees come out to break up the CARNAGE.

 

Coach: K-Money has ANGLESAULT’S NUMBER!

Cole: This rivalry will DEFINITELY be something to watch.

 

(Commercial break)

[Guest The Superstar]

(The Parka and PK are shown walking in through the door with their bags over their shoulders. SD is not with them. They walk into the dressing room and see SD sitting down listening to a CD with his headphones on, dancing to the music. Parka stops and an angry look comes over his face, but that look soon turns to a smirk)

 

Parka: Hey Dreams! Sit down for a second bud.....Dreams!........(Parka taps SD on the shoulder causing him to jump and wave his arms through the air in a mock martial arts way)

 

SD: Oh it's you! Sorry bout that Parka.......I guess you're here to yell at me huh?

 

Parka: No.......we have a very important match tonight and I feel you would do better if you're focused. We'll talk later about your actions Monday. For now we have to focus on what's at hand.

 

SD: I just want you to know man that I'm with you guys one hundred percent. We're tight....tight like spandex baby!

 

Parka: Yeah we'll get to that but...

 

SD: I feared for my life out there man those guys......I couldn't tell if they were sincere or not. Then Zorin comes at me with a chair.....I had to act cool to make them think I was with them....you understand right?

 

Parka: Dreams we'll talk about that later. Right now...

 

SD: So you do believe me then right?

 

Parka: WILL YOU SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!?

 

PK: Easy Parka....remember what we talked about.

 

Parka: Right......right.....Dreams tonight we have a shot at Zack Malibu.....the champ! He has to run the gauntlet against us! I don't know who hated him enough to put him in this situation, but we're the lucky ones who got this chance.....no........I take that back we got picked because we're the hottest thing going! If we win tonight we will share that championship, because we are a team......no we are a family. I'm trying to push you to greater things...make a man out of you. Everything I did was tough love. To bring out the killer instinct in you. Now tonight is our greatest chance at making it big and I don't need you SCREWING UP!.............I mean I need you focused. Don't listen to those two fruits Kotz and Zorin. They don't want you to do better. They want you to fail and that is why they are telling you to slack off and play around. They know it will cause you to lose! Now are you with us!?

 

SD: Yeah....I'm with ya! I'm totally focused........tunnel vision.......eye's on the prize......eye of the tiger.....ready to rumb.....

 

Parka: Yeah yeah that's great!!

 

(Parka turns away from SD and whispers something to PK then turns back around)

 

Parka: Then let's go do what we do best!

 

Cole: Up next, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for Zack Malibu to run the DREAM MACHINES GAUNTLET.

Coach: Three matches, three MACHINES, one ZACK. All I hope is that our new champ doesn’t get his ass kicked TOO much.

Cole: We’ll see about that.

 

"I came, I saw, I kicked some ass..."

 

With those words shooting out of the speakers in the arena, we know it's time for the MAIN EVENT~! of HeldDOWN! Dream Machines member Shattered Dreams comes out to the beat of "The Wreckoning", flamboyantly strutting to the ring. It looks like he'll be the first of The Dream Machines to take on the World Champion in tonights Gauntlet Match. SD gets in the ring, and hops up on the turnbuckles, slowly pushing his sunglasses down to look out at the crowd. He hops off, removing his entrance gear as his music grows softer.

 

The multicolored lights that showcased SD's entrance also go off, as do all the other lights in the building. The whole place is pitch black, until...

 

"How can you see into my eyes, like open doors..."

 

The slow start to "Bring Me To Life" plays over the entrance video for Zack Malibu. Fans scurry back to their seats, the crowd waiting in anticipation...

 

BOOM!

 

(Wake me up)

 

Wake me up inside...

 

Zack and Alison walk out from the back, Zack with the belt on one arm and the girl on the other. The duo make their way out through the pyro, as fans cheer wildly. The cameras scan the crowd, finding one young lady with a sign saying "Zack, Hold ME Down!". It then cuts back as Zack and Alison reach ringside, Alison walking up the steps to enter the ring first, followed by the champ. A blue spotlight shining up on them, Zack and Alison each hop up on a turnbuckle, waving their arms and working the crowd up. Shattered Dreams looks on, allowing the champ to bask in his fanfare.

 

Now that the entrances are over, we're UNDERWAY~! Alison exits the ring after pecking Zack on the cheek. He turns to see Shattered Dreams, standing in front of him, pointing to his own cheek! Zack turns back to look at Alison, then back to Dreams, and he decks him with a right! Dreams staggers back, as the crowd laughs and pops for the champion.

 

Lockup in the center of the ring segues into Zack grabbing a hammerlock. SD tries to elbow back, but Zack moves his head to dodge the blows. Shattered Dreams reaches back, grabbing Zack by the head, then kicks off the mat and comes down flipping Zack over in a snapmare! Malibu gets right up, and Dreams tries a roundhouse kick, BLOCKED! Another one, BLOCKED! Dreams attempts a spinning roundhouse but Malibu breaks out the MATRIX DUCK~!, then comes up and grabs SD in a waistlock...RELEASE GERMAN...NO! Dreams lands on his feet, and rushes towards Zack, pushing him towards the ropes...ROLLUP...NO! Zack rolls through, back to his feet...WHEELBARROW SUPLEX ON SHATTERED DREAMS! Zack looks down as Dreams regroups, and the fans let out a roar of approval for the skills of both men here.

 

Lockup again, and Dreams takes Zack over with an armdrag, then heads into an armbar. Zack gets to his feet, but Dreams grabs the other arm, and has Zack hooked Tiger Suplex style, however Zack slides out of that, and into a Russian Legsweep, broken up by elbows from Dreams! He grabs Zack, Northern Lights Suplex! SD with the cover...2 Count! Zack bridges up out of the hold, into a powerbomb...NO! Shattered Dreams slips free, and lands on his feet, but when he attempts to follow up with a clothesline, Zack ducks it, then grabs him and drops him with a Blue Thunder Bomb! COVER! 2 COUNT ONLY!

 

Zack picks SD up, and takes him to the corner, where he reddens his chest with STIFF CHOPS~! Zack picks SD up from his slump, and Irish Whips him to the far corner, but Dreams has great presence of mind, and leaps up to the second rope, then turns and jumps off, catching Zack with a hurracanrana! He then jumps up to the top rope, and FLIES OFF with a picture perfect bodypress, but Zack dodges it! Dreams goes SPLAT on the mat! Zack sets him up, and as Dreams gets to his knees...ZACK ATTACK! Right to the back of the head! COVER...1...2...3!

 

Eliminated: Shattered Dreams, at 5:57

 

Zack gets up, and looks out to the entranceway, where fans boo the next member of The Dream Machines, Peter Knight, as he slowly walks down the aisle. SD rolls out of the ring, while Zack keeps an eye on...WHAT THE HELL!? L.A. Parka attacks form behind! Parka came from under the ring! Knight was just the distraction!

 

Parka stomps on Zack, then holds the top rope while choking Zack with his boot. The cameras cut to Shattered Dreams, who is getting up, as Knight looks on. He's not even bothering to help SD!? Dreams turns to head back up the aisle, and Knight for some reason unbeknownst to us, slightly shakes his head "No" at Dreams, in a disappointed manner!

 

Back in the ring, Parka has Zack standing up in the corner, and is choking him. The referee calls for the break, so Parka obliges, but then kicks Zack right in the gut. He grabs Zack's arm to pull him out of the corner, and pulls him right into a short arm clothesline! Parka taunts the crowd, who aren't too fond of his tactics against the champion tonight. Parka then takes Zack, and throws him over the top rope, out to the floor! Zack lands with a THUD!, right at the feet of Peter Knight!

 

Parka starts making small talk with the referee, as Knight gets closer to Zack. He grabs the champion and sends him crashing headfirst into the ringpost! Alison sees this and gets up on the apron...AND CLIMBS THE TURNBUCKLES! NO! The referee turns to see this, and tells Alison to get down! As she argues with the referee, Knight holds Zack up, as Parka readies him...BASEBALL SLIDE...ZACK DUCKS, and Knight gets it! Parka stands over his fallen partner, but not for long, as Zack grabs Parka and throws him into the guardrail! Zack pulls him up, and whips him again, this time into the turnbuckle! Parka staggers, then collapses at the feet of Zack Malibu! Zack picks him up, and rolls him in under the bottom rope. Zack then hops up on the apron, and starts entering the ring, but Parka is up, and he kicks the middle rope up as Zack is entering!

 

Cole: Improvised version of a low blow there!

 

Zack is hunched over, and Parka takes him over with a vertical suplex...WAIT, HE'S HANGING ON...ANOTHER VERTICAL SUPLEX...IT'S THE SUPERCHARGER~! NO! ZACK SLIPS OUT OF THE MICHONOKU DRIVER! TRENDSETTER ON LEROY ANDREW PARKA~! Zack hooks the leg....3 COUNT!

 

Eliminated: L.A. Parka in 4:34 (10:31 Total Time)

 

Parka rolls out to the floor, and just lays there, knocked silly by the Trendsetter. As soon as Zack gets up from the pin, however, he's DROPPED by a Full Nelson Slam by Peter Knight! Knight covers, but only gets 2! He picks Zack up, and whips him into the ropes, then catches him with a military press! PK holds Zack up high, and then slams him down hard on his back. He bounces off the ropes, and drops an elbow across Zack's sternum, and covers, but Zack still easily kicks out right at 2! Knight picks Zack up, then runs forward, ramming his back first into the corner! PK follows that up with several shoulderblocks to Zack's ribs, then takes him and sends him across the ring, crashing into the opposite corner! Zack slowly slips down after impact, and see Knight charging him...Zack moves, and Knight hits the corner! Zack immediately rolls him up with a schoolboy...1...2...Forceful kickout by Peter Knight!

 

Zack and PK both get up, and Zack ducks a clothesline as he runs the ropes, then comes off with a picture perfect flying forearm, toppling the bodyguard of The Dream Machines! As Knight pushes himself off the mat, Zack dives at him, using an OKLAHOMA ROLL~! Great pin attempt! 1...2...KICKOUT!

 

Zack goes to pick Knight up off the mat, but PK grabs Zack's tights and sends him spilling to the floor through the middle ropes.

 

Coach: Looks like Knight is getting worried, and needs time to regroup here.

 

Zack gets up rather quickly, when SUDDENLY HE GETS TAKEN OUT BY A LARIAT FROM PARKA! PARKA WAS PLAYING POSSUM ON THE FLOOR THE WHOLE TIME!

 

Cole:That's sickening! L.A. Parka was feigning a knockout due to the Trendsetter, all to set Zack up for his partner!

 

Knight has the ref distracted, while Parka chokes Zack up against the apron, then pulls him forward and rams his back into it. Alison sees this and comes running over, pulling Parka away, but he starts getting into her face! As Parka stalks Alison, Zack starts stirring. Parka turns back to Zack, and gets PLANTED BY A SPEAR! Zack wipes out Parka, and comes to the aid of his girl, to the cheers of the crowd!

 

Zack hops back up on the apron, where Knight is waiting for him. He attempts to suplex Zack in, but Zack nails him with several punches, causing him to back up. Zack springboards off the top rope, and hits a missle dropkick, sending Knight to the mat! Zack points at PK while he rolls on the mat, and then slaps his right leg...

 

Coach: I think School is about to be Out for Mr. Knight, Michael Cole!

 

Zack sets him up, and as Knight gets up, Zack throws his patented kick at him...CAUGHT BY KNIGHT!? PK PULLS HIM FORWARD, UP IN POSITION FOR THE KNIGHTMARE! NO! ZACK SLIDES OUT! KNIGHT TURNS AROUND...SCHOOL'S OUT ON PETER KNIGHT!

 

1!

 

2!!

 

3!!!

 

Eliminated: Peter Knight in 5:28 (15:59 Total Time)

 

WINNER: Zack Malibu

 

Zack has defeated The Dream Machines in this special Gauntlet Challenge, but the war is not over! Parka runs in with a chair and levels Zack from behind! He starts swinging mercilessly on Zack's back, trying to turn the champ into a lump of Jello on the canvas! Alison slides in and tries to get Zack away, but Parka starts stalking her, backing her into a corner! And now here comes Shattered Dreams down the aisle!

 

Coach: Oh this is ridiculous...3 on 1 attack on a girl! Yeah, those Dream Machines are some model citizens!

 

SD slides into the ring, and tells Parka not to do it, that it's going too far. Parka backs up, and lowers the chair! He then hands it to Shattered Dreams, and motions for HIM to hit Alison!

 

Cole: No, don't do it, c'mon!

 

SD looks at Alison, ready to strike with the chair. Alison cowers as Dreams swings the chair....AND NAILS PARKA WITH IT! The fans go NUTS as Dreams stands over Parka, who is holding his head in pain!

 

Cole: All right!

 

Dreams looks up, and in a flash, gets wiped out by PK booting the chair into his face! Dreams goes down, and PK takes the chair and starts choking him with it. Parka pulls himself up by the ropes, and seeing that both SD and Zack are laid out, they begin to circle Alison! She's got nowhere to go, until...

 

Cole and Coach: WHAT IN THE NAME OF...

 

A FORKLIFT~! is being driven down the aisle by The Boogie Knights! Kotz and Zorin are here!

 

Parka and Knight look on in disbelief, as Alison is able to roll out of the ring. Kotz and Zorin hop off the forklift, and head towards the ring, where Parka and Knight are calling them on. Kotz and Zorin stop short at ringside though, and have a stare down. Parka calls them on, but Kotz slyly grins, and does a pointing gesture. Parka and Knight turn around...SCHOOL'S OUT ON PARKA AND A HELLA CHAIRSHOT ON KNIGHT! DREAMS AND ZACK ARE UP!

 

The two remaining Dream Machines scatter, as Kotz, Zorin, and Alison all get in the ring. Alison checks on Zack, as do the BK's. Dreams looks on, and goes to head out, when Zack calls out to him. Dreams comes forward, and Zack extends a hand...ACCEPTED!

 

Cole: How about that!

 

All five people raise each others hands, as the crowd loves the scene in front of them. They exit the ring, and Kotz and Zorin hop on the forklift, motioning for the other three to join them. Dreams and Alison hang off the side, while Zack stands up on the fork part, holding his belt in the air, and is raised up by the BK's! The battle lines have been drawn here on HeldDOWN, as we fade out with a parting shot of our heroes!

 

 

Cole: WHAT A WAY to end the show! Intense-WHAT?

Coach: What a KICK-ASS return show for HeldDOWN! We have TIM MOYSEY as our General Manager, Shattered Dreams has joined the Boogie Knights, and justice prevails!

Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll see you NEXT WEEK…on HELDDOWN~!

 

Before the show ends completely, we cut to a shadowy hallway, where an unknown figure is walking into darkness.

 

“He’s been through it all.”

 

“He’s seen it all.”

 

“NEXT WEEK…”

 

“He’ll TELL IT ALL.”

 

[Guest The Superstar]

© 2003 OAOAST Productions

 

Director

The Superstar

 

Executive Producers

The Superstar

Zack Malibu

Angle-plex

Tim Moysey

Kotzenjunge

 

Writers

Superstar

Zack

Parka

Treble Charged

ZsasZ

Van Siclen

and "Mr. Foshi" (who will remain anonymous for the time being )