Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted October 2, 2002 ***I wrote this back in June of 2001 for Rantasia.net. Many people enjoy this review. Mainly because it is very....different. I figured this would be a good time to re-post it because I didn’t have the time to pump out any original material this week. For the most part this hasn’t been altered from it’s original state, but if I feel the need to add any comments they will be in italics.*** Pinoy Wrestling: December 1989 What? You mean you don’t know what Pinoy Wrestling is? You must live under a rock or something because Pinoy Wrestling was the premier wrestling federation in the Philippines. This show is on the same tape as the WWA show I reviewed last week. I am not going to be posting that review here, but if you want to read it just drop me a line and I’ll send you a copy. Both shows are on tape #A495 at Wrestling Power. Anyway, I’ll shut up and let Pinoy Wrestling speak for itself. One of Pinoy Wrestling’s Superstars, Lawin “The Birdman” (where have I heard that one before), is walking through a zoo. Lawin doesn’t look like the other famous Birdman, you see he really is a Birdman. He wears a cape of feathers and a helmet that looks like a bird’s beak. A man with a funny accent tells us that Lawin is energized by nature and he releases that energy in…PINOY WRESTLING!! Now are you psyched or what? Lawin “The Birdman” vs. Max Buwaya w/Midget in Demolition getup The midget stays on the ring apron for the whole match and for some reason there are only children in the crowd. This is too fucking much. Anyway, both wrestlers are wearing the exact same tights, making this match worse than it already was. The two start with a lockup, which is broken up by the ref. Lawin applies a side-headlock, but Buwaya reverses it into a scissors-headlock. Lawin fights out and lays in some of the most pathetic punches I have ever seen. Buwaya is whipped into the ropes, but he doesn’t know how to bounce back and to make matters worse, Lawin misses a dropkick by a few feet, but Buwaya sells it anyway! Lawin continues to “punch” Buwaya. Lawin attempts a roll-up, but he lands on his head and the ref counts 2! HAHA!! This is hilarious! Buwaya applies an armbar, which Lawin escapes by stepping on Buwaya’s face. Lawin works him over in the corner, but Buwaya comesback by repeatedly ramming his head into Lawin’s groin! I wonder why this promotion died…Buwaya misses what looked to be a sit-down splash, but for all I know he may have been dropping an elbow. Buwaya hits Lawin with a throat thrust (think Slamboree ’93, the second legends match), that knocks him out for a while. Lawin is thrown to the outside and then magically he is back in the ring. I sense some pretty bad clipping. Lawin hits Buwaya with some STIFF kicks to the head!! Oh my god, that came out of nowhere. Buwaya comes back with a powerslam for the win. (6:45) -**** Don’t worry, there is another classic match coming up on this tape! Bodybuilding Tips: Part I We are now taught the “Military Press”, while a take-off of the Rocky theme plays in the background. This tip was brought to you by the gym all the Pinoy Wrestlers use, Muscle Dynamics. If you are interested, Muscle Dynamic’s address is…oh never mind. We now see Pinoy Wrestling “Superstar” Joe Pogi working out!! Now we see his partner, Zorro, riding a horse!! You know what this means, IT MUST BE DDP STALKING PIONY WRESTLERS SO HE BECOMES FAMOUS!!! Oh, the irony… Yeah, that joke is a bit dated, but I thought it was funny at the time. Warning: The moves you see on screen are executed by highly skilled professionals. ‘Nuff said about that. Joe Pogi & Zorro w/Ugly Woman vs. Smokey Mountain Brothers Speaking of irony, the Smokey Mountain Brothers are two Filipinos in overalls. Vince McMahon must have spread his love of hillbilly’s to PINOY WRESTLING! Since I didn’t pickup the Brothers names, I’m making the bald guy “Stone Cold” Steve Austin and the guy with hair is Fonzie. Now that the name discrepancy is out of the way, let’s get to the match. Pogi and Austin start. Pogi applies a side-headlock, but Austin fights out and clotheslines him in the stomach! Austin hits another sad clothesline and an elbow drop for 2. Pogi comesback with a hiptoss, which he follows up by whipping Austin chest-first into Zorro’s foot. Pogi gets trapped in the Brother’s corner, where he is double-teamed. The Fonz tags in and works on Pogi in the corner. Pogi punches Fonzie in the chest and tags Zorro. Zorro uses the usual PINOY PUNCHES™ and a crossbody for 2. Fonzie starts to choke Zorro, and he won’t let go!! HOW WILL OUR HERO ESCAPE THIS PREDICTAMENT?? Easily, he simply has to resort to the PINOY KICK TO THE FACE™. Austin tags in, slams Zorro and fucks up a backbody drop. Now that is classic PINOY WRESTLING!! Zorro tags Pogi, who clotheslines Austin in the throat! Pogi goes to work on the arm, but Austin attempts a comeback, so Pogi simply punches him…a lot. Pogi hits Austin with a vertical suplex for the win. (10:03) -**3/4 Well, Austin jobbed, so all of you should shut-up about the whole “Glass Ceiling” debacle. Well, that one isn’t as dated. Anyway, this was a good match on the PINOY SCALE™. We are now introduced to Roboto and PINOY RANGER!! Roboto is in a full-body costume, like Goldust’s, except his is all gray because he is a robot. The PINOY RANGER is the Hulk Hogan of PINOY WRESTLING, and NO he doesn’t look like a Power Ranger, he looks even stupider. The PINOY RANGER wears a white cowboy hat, white sunglasses, a red bandana around his neck, a white jacket with silver sequins and white tights. And to think, Slick called himself the Doctor of Style. Bodybuilding Tips: Part 2 This tip is all about “Bicep Extension”. I would rather get workout tips from Chyna than Pinoy Wrestling. Overall This tape features a zoo, a birdman, 2 horrible matches, workout tips, the PINOY RANGER, and the FONZ. What the hell are you waiting for, buy this tape at Wrestling Power. Once again it is Tape #A495. Sadly, this was probably my best review until I finally found my niche in late 2001-early 2002. Retro Rob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
