WWE Confidential December 7, 2002

[Guest TSMAdmin]

WWE Confidential December 7, 2002

 

Yet again I am one full week late. The reason this time is that I simply haven't watched any WWE TV in about 2 and a half weeks. I just needed a break from all the bullshit, not to mention the fact that I got sick last Saturday. My cold is still going strong, as today is day seven. I did go to a house show last Sunday night. It was SmackDown! brand and the tickets were KICK ASS comps, so I couldn't say no. The show itself was eh, but I enjoyed cheering for Matt Hardy over the heatless wonder Scott Steiner. Anyhow, I plan to start watching the wrestling shows again this coming Monday night. Hopefully the WWE doesn't do too much to piss me off. Also, I'll probably have two more columns up this weekend. Part 4 of that tape review, which has been a work in progress for about three weeks now and tonight's Confidential will both be up before tomorrow night.

 

This week on Confidential Test rides an elephant and Brock Lesnar referees what looks to be a football game.

 

Gene goes on and on about how the WWE is an international company, which leads us into Test's experiences in India a couple of weeks ago. Test starts by talking about how great the people were there. The Indians literally MARK OUT for Test, something that I don't think one American would do. Some newspaper has a picture of him on the second page. That must be a worldwide first. Test sees some monkey on the street and takes a picture with it. He sort of freaks out when it jumps on his shoulder. Some bum puts the monkey in a costume and makes it dance like a ballerina. Seriously, the WWF should stop worrying about the WWE and liberate those monkeys in India. Test says that visiting the Taj Mahal was one of the greatest things he ever did. Well, this is Test we are talking about, so I would imagine that is a possibility. Now we see the slums of India and the horrid traffic that the Superstars had to endure. To cap this segment off Test meets the biggest, hairiest testicle of all-time (no, it does not belong to Albert) in the form of an elephant. Too bad the WWE didn't include footage of the guys puking their brains out and being miserable because that was the vibe I got from Lance Storm's commentary two weeks ago.

 

Segment 1: 0/1

 

Before They Were Superstars

We haven't had one of these in a while. This week they actually do someone interesting, Rico. Rico literally grew up in a desert. He was into reptiles and would capture them. His father was a big-time entertainer in Vegas who even made it on to the Ed Sullivan Show. Rico had the opportunity to meet many celebrities through his father's job. A few years later his parents divorced. Rico left Vegas for California where he lived with his father. After graduating military school Rico wanted to try something different, which angered his father whom had planned out a life in the military for his son. Rico moved back in with his mother. Some of the jobs Rico had were making sandwiches, flipping burgers, clearing tables, and being a bodyguard for ambassadors. At this point he trained to become an EMT which led to him joining the police force. He moved to Florida where he was a bartender. After injuring his knee, he saw an advertisement to be on American Gladiators. Rico won the competition and became one of the regular gladiators. Through being a gladiator, he got involved with many charities. He then joined a Christian group that would perform feats of strength in order to get their message across. One day his brother called and asked Rico if he would help train a guy to be a professional wrestler. One thing to led to another and Rico ended up working for Jesse Hernandez's Empire Wrestling Federation in California. The WWF had called Jesse before when they needed orderlies to take Kane to the mental hospital. I'm sure many of you have blocked that angle out of your heads. Jesse sent along a tape of Rico. In May of 1999 Rico signed a WWF contract and was sent to OVW. He first debuted on TV shortly after WrestleMania X-8. I could see my life being just like Rico's. By that I mean having about four dozen jobs and never actually slowing down.

 

Segment 2: 1/2

 

In the spirit of Raw X, we take a look at that faithful night when Kurt Angle did his moonsault off the top of the cage. That night, Vince told Kurt and Benoit that he wanted something special. The competitors agreed, but never actually told anyone what they had planned. Both Kurt and Chris wanted to prove themselves to the more established Superstars that night. Once he leaped from the top of the cage, it felt like an eternity until he hit the mat. Kurt covered his mid-section with his arm, which could have broken it but he was lucky and came out OK. After the match, Vince hugged Kurt but then slapped him and said NEVER to do anything like that again. I think it was a tremendous spot, but not one of the greatest Raw moments ever.

 

At a charity football game between firefighters, Brock Lesnar had the honor of being the guest referee. The proceeds went to people with MD and various burn units. Brock was brought in to add a little celebrity status to the game. Ironically back in high school, Brock set the record, which still stands today, for most penalties in one game. At one point the QB throws the ball right over Brock's head. Brock calls a penalty and sets them back five yards. As most charity games do, this one ended in a tie (13-13).

 

Segment 3: 2/3

 

Raw Retro- DX invades WCW.

 

Rico is back to tell us how great it is to be a WWE Superstar. Typical stuff here like he gets a rush when the crowd chants "RICO SUCKS" and this is the greatest job he ever had. Some classic-Rico clips follow. Very short, nothing to see here.

 

Segment 4: 2/4

 

HOLY SHIT! Bradshaw actually wrote a book entitled, Make More Money Now. Why does the WWE feel the need to show Bradshaw on Confidential every few weeks? Also, who in their right mind would buy a book written by someone like Bradshaw? He probably won't even sell more than the Fabulous Moolah. Bradshaw gives us some quick advice. Four years ago he went to Wal-Mart and saw that they had a full-parking lot, so he thought they would be a good company to buy stock from. He also suggests buying when the market is down. Well, after hearing that I have a new perspective on investing my money.

 

Segment 5: 2/5

 

The final segment is the fucking same Eric Bischoff Anthology promo that has been showing for about a month now.

 

Gene promotes an interview with Ric Flair, who will be talking about his near-career ending plane crash.

 

Segment 6: 2/6

 

This show sucked, but I'm still holding out hope for tonight's edition, which features interviews with both Ric Flair and the Rock. Expect the tape review to be posted first, then tonight's Confidential a little later.

 

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The Smart Marks