Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 25

[Guest TSMAdmin]

NWA:TNA Week 25

 

Hello everyone and welcome to the last TNA Diatribe on 2002. That’s right, for those of you who aren’t aware, TNA will not be broadcasting for the next two weeks as Christmas and New Years Day happen to fall on Wednedays. TNA will be back on the air on January 8th and so will my weekly Diatribes. In the meantime, I’m going to try and pump out reviews on the 2nd and 3rd Ring of Honor shows finally and I already did a diatribe on WWE Armageddon, which you can find exclusively at TheSmartMarks.com. Alright, so I gave the women’s match more credit than I should...sue me.

 

Before we get started, just wanted to tell you guys out there that I went to a midnight showing of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers last night and it was amazing. I sat there in AWE as I saw some of the best CGI imaginable with Gollum, the AWESOME Battle of Helms Deep and a conclusion that has left me desperately waiting for The Return of the King. I was also treated to quite possibly the best collection of trailers I’ve ever seen as we got full trailers for Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Bad Boys 2, X-Men 2, Final Destination 2, a new Jim Carrey comedy which actually looks GOOD, a trailer for a Vin Diesel movie and a Dumb and Dumber 2 teaser. Well, no more stalling....ONTO THE PPV!

 

We start the PPV with a video package of Jeff Jarrett’s World Tour as NWA Champ, making defenses in England, Ireland, Scotland (as part of the WWA Promotion) and Japan (as part of the Zero-One promotion). They briefly showed Sting and Luger in the ring with Jarrett as well as Japanese photographers and fans, giving Jarrett and the NWA Title some more credibility. Nice segment on their part as it really shows the importance of the title...regardless of how ugly it might look compared to the new sleeker WWE titles.

 

We go straight to Goldylocks who is in the parking lot looking for Curt Hennig, but he blows her off as he heads into the building and straight to the ring. He grabs Jeremy Borash’s mic and calls out Vince Russo. He takes another quick jab at Brock Lesnar, which really makes him look petty and immature when he does, before calling himself “the greatest wrestler to put on a pair of wrestling boots”. Hennig’s issue with Vince is that Russo cost him the NWA title last week. He claims that he won’t be like Piper and “abuse you physically with my mouth”, he’s going to use his body. I’m going to just leave that one alone. He then calls out Russo once again...as the cameraman points to a sign at ringside that reads “RUSSO FEARS DAMES”~! HOLY SHIT! That’s TSM’s own Big Poppa Popick holding that sign there! I owe you one buddy..and yes, Vince Russo DOES indeed fear me.

 

Hennig then states that if he shows up tonight, he WILL attack him. Russo then jumps over the rail, along with the Harris Brothers and Hennig gives chase as they run towards the ramp at ringside. Dammit Popick! I can see he’s got more signs, but the ink is too light and you just can’t read it. LOW-KI, ELIX SKIPPER & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS~! come down the ramp and start attacking Hennig! BG James takes over one of the headsets and does his best Jim Ross impression, using all of his catchphrases such as slobberknocker, business is about to pick up, that man is broken in half, etc. He then starts saying “STONE COLD WINS” OVER and OVER and THAT....I find funny. The three returning X Division stars start triple-teaming Hennig as the Harris Brothers and BG start destroying all of the banners at ringside that read “TNA”, including the announce table. Russo YELLS at Tenay as they leave the area while TNA security helps out Hennig.

 

Great angle, but of all the people to join the Sports Entertainment faction, Low-Ki surprises me the most. He’s always been the first one to say that he’s not a sports entertainer and never wanted to be one.

 

We go to the dancers as Miss Lollipop is now in Miss Molly’s cage....and a new woman who looks like Pam Grier as Foxy Brown is in the other. WHERE’S MOLLY!? This new woman is making sure that she doesn’t expose her stomach from the way she keep adjusting her shirt....and she’s barely dancing. Tenay then states that Russo’s X guys said “screw the gauntlet”.

 

Goldylocks is in the back with Bullet Bob Armstrong who’s about to address the Russo situation when AJ Styles walks past him. Bob grabs him by the arm and starts chastising him for apparently joining Russo last week when he attacked Jeff Jarrett. Styles then tells him that he never joined Russo...he just did what Bob always preaches...”get your talking done in the ring”. So, now that he’s “schooled all the boys in the X-Division”, he’s going to be all over Jeff Jarrett til he gets the World title. Bullet goes to talk to him and effectively ends the interview.

 

If AJ’s truly not with Russo, then that is the perfect angle for Styles right now. Both he and Lynn deserve to be in the heavyweight division at this point.

 

10 man X-Division Gauntlet match for an X Division Title shot.

 

Jason Cross vs. Kid Kash vs. Red vs. Shark Boy vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. David Young vs. ??? & ??? & ???

 

Match Background: This match wasn’t the result of any feud or impromptu decision, so technically there is no background for the actual match. However, let me give you some background on most of the competitors. Jason Cross debuted last week in the opening match against Tony Mamaluke in a match he lost, but was memorable for the debut of Cross’ finishing manuever, The Crossfire (Shooting Star Legdrop). Red is coming off of a great match with AJ Styles from last weeks program after Styles cost Red his spot in the 4-way double elimination match two weeks ago. Kid Kash is rebounding from a extremely sloppy match with Jorge Estrada last week and is trying to get back into the title picture. Shark Boy hasn’t competed in TNA since he was defeated by the Amazing Red in Week 14. Jimmy Rave hasn’t competed since the Tag Team Gauntlet for the Gold back in Week 13. David Young, an X-Division competitor who hasn’t won a single match yet, was last seen facing Brian Lawler in Week 16. Scheduled to be in the match were the returning Elix Skipper, Christopher Daniels and Low-Ki, but apparently have decided not to participate now that they’ve aligned themselves with Vince Russo.

 

The Match: This isn’t like WCW’s old Cruiserweight Gauntlet matches where its one on one...is going to be Royal Rumble style where two men start out and another joins the fray every 90 seconds. The only way to be eliminated is by either pinfall or submission. Jason Cross is the first man in the match against Red.

 

In the back, Jeff Jarrett is beating the hell out of AJ Styles while Mortimer Plumtree tries to talk him down!

 

As the match starts we find out that The SAT’s (Jose and Joel Maximo) and Ace Steel will be the other three participants. ACE STEEL? DAMMIT! Everyone got their hopes up when they heard that Low-Ki and Daniels would be in the gauntlet....I sure as hell am disappointed.

 

Red and Cross take the first minute of the match to just feel each other out, counter and hit the Indy Applause Stance. Red gets the Red Star Press for a two count and sends Cross to the outside. West makes a good point about how these two men are at a disadvantage being the first two in. The clock runs out and C.G. Afi, excuse me, Tony Mamaluke comes running down the aisle. If anyone gets that, you deserve a cookie. He immediately hits Red with a double arm DDT and transitions it into a submission before Cross comes back in. He ducks a Cross clothesline and does the exact same thing he did to beat Cross last week....a shin breaker, followed by a dragon screw legwhip and the Sicilian Slice. This time, however, Cross makes it to the ropes as Tenay tells us that the eliminations will determine the rankings of the contenders. For example, whoever is eliminated first is the number 10 contender for the title. Last time they had a match like this, they ended up ignoring the rankings after a while, so this shouldn’t hold too much weight. Mamaluke puts Cross back in the Sicilian Slice but lets go to attack Red. Jimmy Rave enters the match and goes after Mamaluke with a running shoulder tackle in the corner and a double arm overhead belly to belly which didn’t look too crisp. Red comes in to face Rave and they botch an irish whip somehow before Red goes for Code Red....but Rave sits out, laying Red flat on his stomach. Mamaluke and Cross get up and go after the other two, as Cross sets up Red for the Crossfire. Mamaluke sees this and knocks him off the top to the floor and TAUNTS LIKE AN ITALIAN~! A shin breaker attempt by Mamaluke ends up in a Rave roll up, but Tony comes back with a NASTY side suplex as Cross nails Red with a kick on the outside. Shark Boy comes in as Mamaluke sets Rave up for a superplex....and sunset flips Mamaluke, suplexing Rave across the ring! He becomes a full fledged HOUSE EN FUEGO~! as he gives Cross a hangmans neckbreaker and Rave a top rope bulldog for two. Mortimer Plumtree joins the announcers as he’s concerned about AJ Styles. Cross hits a pescado on Red as Shark Boy bites Mamaluke on the ass. Yes, you read that correctly. Shark Boy bumps off of a Rave clothesline in the corner as Kid Kash makes his way to the match. Tenay asks Plumtree if he thinks that AJ’s jumping to join Russo....to which he says that he’s contracted to be with Plumtree although he’s not returning his calls. Shark Boy takes over on Kash before Kash gets a powerslam on him for two. Shark Boy hits a pescado on Kash on the outside as Cross tries to eliminate Rave with a standing swanton for two. Ace Steel comes to join the action as Mortimer tells them that they’ve parted ways...he no longer manages Ace Steel. At least Plumtree can distinguish GOOD X-Division talent and who to part ways with. He gets on the apron and hits a springboard front dropkick halfway across the ring to Jimmy Rave! Wow! The match starts to resemble an actual Royal Rumble (which I’ll be reviewing next month for TSM) as everyone is just brawling, not doing much. Jimmy Rave gets a school boy on Mamaluke out of nowhere for the pinfall and the elimination. Shark Boy goes after Rave who goes for a flying head scissors....but somehow turns that into the Crippler Crossface! Shark Boy gets to the ropes as Mortimer Plumtree throws a fit about West and Tenay not caring about his situation. It’s pretty funny as he gets interrupted mid sentence each time by the announce team actually calling the match and generally ignoring him. Shark Boy gets the Dead Sea Drop (Somersault Stunner or Diamond Dust) to eliminate Rave from the match. At this point, Jose Maximo joins the match....but Kash hits the Money Maker on Shark Boy to eliminate him! Jose gets a cross body on Kid Kash and starts brawling with him as everyone else spills to the outside. Mortimer: “If you drop the thirty three cents that you have in your pocket right now on the best-“ Tenay: “Oh look at that kick!”. Kid Kash gets a double jump cross body on Jose for a two count as Mortimer complains some more about being ignored. Jose gets an UGLY flying head scissors on Kash as Mortimer JUST wants “a return on his investment, thats all!” Kash powerbombs Jose as Joel Maximo comes into the match and enziguri kicks him. Joel and Ace start chopping each other at ringside as Plumtree throws another fit and leaves the area. Tenay: “Oh, a chop fest in the corner....has he left yet?” Steel tries to lift up the festively plump Joel Maximo for a suplex and musters JUST enough strength to do it. All of a sudden, he’s the victim of a Brooklyn BEATDOWN as Red and Jose start just KILLING him with kicks and punches! It’s about damn time the SAT’s start working as a team in elimination matches! Kash throws a chair at Red which NAILS him in the arm as Cross gets a cover on Steel for two. David Young joins the match and he’s a HOUSE EN FUEGO~! as he hits Cross with a twisting faceplant, Red with a HARD sit out powerbomb, a double backdrop suplex on the SAT’s, a Northern Light suplex into the corner on Ace Steel and a GREAT spinebuster on Kid Kash! WHAT HAPPENED TO DAVID YOUNG!? He should have gone to the pin, but instead goes for Asai Moonsault on the outside onto the SAT’s & Ace Steel. He pretty much overshot them and landed hard on the floor for the most part though. Ace goes up top and I fear for him. He does a springboard plancha which looked as bland as a high spot possibly can. Cross then hits his twisting somersault tope onto the pile before Red does a running BACKFLIP onto everyone. Kash then tops it all off with a springboard somersault plancha onto the whole pile for a “TNA” chant by the crowd. Kash comes back in and hits David Young with a springboard front dropkick for two. Kash then hits a double jump rana onto Young and follows it up with a swinging DDT for just a two! Kash then pushes poor old Rudy Charles because of the count....hey, its not HIS fault you couldn’t keep his shoulders down! Near the announce table Red just starts WAILING on Ace Steel and hooks him in a body scissors before Ace fights out of it. The SAT’s double team David Young as Jose hits him with a DDT off of Joel’s shoulders....and then let Red hit the Infra-Red for the elimination! THAT is why they should work as a team ALWAYS. Ace Steel hits the ugliest overhead belly to belly this side of The Rock onto Joel and gets crotched by the other Maximo. He goes for a superplex on Steel, but Steel turns it into a SUPER DDT OFF THE TOP and Jose Maximo is eliminated! I would have NEVER let Steel do that to anyone! Joel then rolls up Steel to eliminate him and he and Kash start brawling in the ring. Joel goes for a running powerbomb on Kash but he counters with a rana and pins Joel. The last three men in the match, Red, Cross and Kash finally meet in the ring as Cross gets a double toe hold and ends up getting hit with a Red senton and a Kash dropkick to the face at the same time. Red goes for a head scissors takeover on Kash...but somehow almost piledrives Kash with it in a VERY awkward spot. Red ends up on the apron and flips back in to NAIL Kash in the head with a hard enziguiri for two. Red goes to the top, but Kash cuts him off and hits the SUPER BODY SLAM OFF THE TOP~! “Holy Shit” chant as Cross breaks up the count! Cross gets a brainbuster on Red but Kash then sticks his nose in his business and gets a top rope rana for it. Red then comes off the 2nd rope with his swinging DDT (which looked sloppy) and eliminated Kash. Cross catches Red off guard with a brainbuster, plants him...and hits the CROSSFIRE~!! It was really off this time as he had to extend his leg just to make contact...but it pins Red! Jason Cross is the number one contender.

 

My Opinion: I think the match would have been a lot better if it was contested under the old WCW Gauntlet rules where it would be a one on one match and the winner advances. As this was, it got quite messy in the ring towards the beginning of the match, but tapered off. The eliminations seemed to come in clusters as well. Low-Ki, Daniels and Skipper being taken out of this match really hurt the potential of this match to be a total show stealer. ***

 

The announcers then run down the rest of the card as they inform us that Sonny Siaki will now be defending against both EZ Money and Jerry Lynn since Bullet Bob felt that Lynn was screwed last week.

 

Russo then goes into the ring with his entire entourage to tell the crowd that everyone watches TNA to laugh at the crowd. Vince: “Do you know how pathetic you are to a New Yorker?” To those of you in Nashville....I’m from New York City and I’ve got NOTHING but Love for you guys....now bring more Dames signs! Vince: “If I was a dentist, I’d make a million bucks in this dump right now!” His purpose is to formally introduce the 3 members of S.E.X. He starts with Low-Ki. He says that NWA was not booking Low-Ki on the show because he wouldn’t commit to a 52 week deal. Well, that’s not the whole truth....but its a good way to turn him. Russo says that whenever Low-Ki wants off, he’ll give him the time off, unlike the NWA. He then turns to Daniels and tells everyone that he kept reading about Daniels everywhere on the net. Oh, that’s probably true. According to Russo, NWA decided not to book Daniels because his plane ticket from California was too expensive. Russo will more than gladly foot the bill. He calls Skipper his favorite....and that NWA wouldn’t give him a proper salary. Russo: “Not only will I line your pockets with money...I will get you laid twice a day!”. The crowd pops for that...but now I wonder who the skanks that would sleep with Russo are. He then turns to BG James and tells him that last week, he showed remorse for hitting his father accidentally with a steel chair. There is NO compassion in S.E.X. and if he does it again, he’s out. He then turns to the Harris Brothers and tells them to get the job done tonight against AMW & the Disciples or else. However, his real purpose is for to get Jeff Jarrett’s answer RIGHT NOW.

 

Jeff Jarrett makes his way down to the ring and gets in Russo’s face...so he can shut up and listen to what he has to say. He then tells the crowd that Russo is a magazine writer and nothing more than a man who hates the wrestling business because he was never brave enough to be a wrestler. Jarrett then says that in 1993, he was the IC Champion and he was the first man that McMahon had Russo interview. That’s pretty damn funny....because Jeff Jarrett was never IC Champion until 1995. He then said that Russo kept asking Jarrett to get him into WCW....but he didn’t. When he came back to the WWF, all he did was protect him from guys who wanted to beat his head in, like Shawn Michaels. He then says that Bill Goldberg wanted to “rip your head off of your own shoulders” and this starts a mini-Goldberg chant. He basically talked a lot of guys out of beating his ass.....but he gives credit to Russo for making them successful. He starts talking about all of the celebs he beat up and how he beat up Moolah and Mae Young and had a Good Housekeeping match with Chyna. However, he crossed the line three weeks ago when he spit in his fathers face and the NWA, he disrespected all of Jeff Jarrett’s beliefs. Vince then says that Jeff has no one’s respect in the back because he’s seen as a daddy’s boy and he’s the only one who can get him his respect back. Russo then asks him again if he’s with him or not....and the answer is he’s not with him, never was with him and NEVER WILL BE. “You know why? Because you’re a pompous, arrogant, Yankee, son of a bitch!” and Jarrett starts flingin’ right hands to everyone! He runs around ringside, getting a steel chair and nailing all of them! He gets into the ring but the numbers are too much. He gets an H-Bomb from the Harris Brothers, a front dropkick by Low-Ki, the Play of the Day by Elix Skipper and the Double Jump Moonsault by Christopher Daniels. Eventually, security makes their way down to the ring and Russo & Co. leave. Russo lays on the announce table facing West and Tenay and tosses water on West and a fan throws water (or Sprite) back to retaliate.

 

Good angle in my opinion as it establishes why Low-Ki, Skipper and Daniels are faces, possible reasons why James & the Harris’ may be kicked out and Jarrett’s face turn is complete. The only thing that I didn’t like about this angle is that a lot of the things Jarrett said went over a lot of people’s heads and was geared mostly towards the net.

 

Americas Most Wanted vs. The Harris Brothers vs. The Disciples of the New Church (w/ Father James Mitchell and Belladonna)

 

Match Background: Americas Most Wanted (James Storm and Chris Harris) have been feuding with The Disciples of the New Church for weeks now, with the Disciples winning the tag titles from them in Week 20. Last week, the Harris Brothers had a match with the Disciples for the tag titles where AMW got involved, attacking the Harris just to get to the Disciples, leading to this non-title 3 way dance. .

 

The Match: The announcers put over Percy Pringle’s involvement last week in getting the Disciples their tag titles back after BG James interfered to put the Harris’ over. As the Harris’ come into the ring, Slash goes to work on Storm in the corner. Storm comes back with a somersault off the top rope to Slash (which the announcers don’t even bother to call) for two. Storm with the irish whip and goes for a pick up, but Slash floats over and hits him with the Eye of the Hurricane (or Final Cut if you wish), for two. They show Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) sitting at ringside watching the match as Storm comes back with a Russian Leg Sweep for two. Harris is tagged in and he atomic drops Slash to set up a Storm superkick for two. Brian Lee is tagged in and he hits Harris with a big boot for two, following it up with a suplex. Lee gets a press slam as the announcers talk about an old connection between Brian Lee and Paul Bearer in the WWF. If they’re talking about the fake UT situation, that’s the only possible one I could think of. Harris comes back with a Lou Thesz press, a clothesline and a top rope cross body for two. Harris and Storm then double back body drop Lee and then double team Slash before going after the Harris’ on the apron. The Harris’ come in with double clotheslines on AMW and get thrown to the outside. Both teams work over AMW on the outside, with even Father James Mitchell raking James Storms back with his long ass fingernails. AMW and the Harris come into the ring and begin brawling there but the Harris take over relatively quickly. They double chokeslam Chris Harris and H-Bomb him. Storm then jumps on Ron and Brian Lee from behind...and Belladonna gets on the ring apron. BLESS YOU CAMERAMAN as he gives us a close up of THAT ASS. Both she and Father Mitchell distract the ref as the Harris’ go to double chokeslam James Storm but ATHENA comes into the ring and low blows Ron Harris! Don Harris grabs her.....but the ROAD WARRIORS come into the ring to a HUGE pop and destroy both heel teams! Doomsday Device to Slash! Animal Powerslam to Ron Harris and a splash by Hawk. AMW then come into the ring for the pin!

 

My Opinion: The match was nothing more than a mere backdrop to the Road Warriors getting involved. Seems that TNA finally got the hint that the fans want Athena as they popped for her as well. The match was a slow brawl, which would have been a lot better had the Harris’ not been in the match. Although the Road Warriors aren’t the team they used to be, they’re still well known and sure popped the crowd. ¾*

 

We go to the back as Goldylocks tries to get a word with the Road Warriors before they leave. They cut a quick promo on Russo....basically just saying that they’re against him. Goldylocks then goes into what appears to be the mens bathroom where all of the X competitors in the 10 man gauntlet match are being spoken to by Bullet Bob. He gives them a speech on why they’re in the NWA and how they need them to combat S.E.X. Very intense promo....but they cut him off mid promo to go to a video package.

 

Video package of Siaki/Lynn from last week. I’ve noticed that most of the promos lately have the same theme, taking an interview and using the SAME LINES over and over in the video package. Borash...PLEASE try something else. This is the 3rd or 4th video package that has been done that way as of late.

 

Sonny Siaki vs. EZ Money vs. Jerry Lynn for the NWA X Division Title

 

Match Background: Siaki and Lynn have been feuding for weeks ever since Siaki cost Jerry the NWA World title in Week 12. After trading wins, Siaki won the title last week with the help of a mystery woman (former WWE Developmental Diva Kim Nielsen). EZ Money in Week 23 won the 4-man double elimination match to get a shot at the X Division champion. Later on tonight, because Bullet Bob felt that Lynn was screwed out of the title, he made tonight’s Money/Siaki match up a three way dance.

 

The Match: EZ Money comes in first and wants to do his little entrance pose, but has to wait til Borash does his boxing style title match intros. Pretty funny moment as the camera is focused on Borash during the intros and EZ Money is prepared to pose....but is frozen in the same position for a WHILE before Borash finally introduces him. Siaki then says something to both men and gets punched by both of them. Money and Lynn turn their attention to each other, locking up and exchanging the exact same moves before hitting the Indy Applause Stance. They shake hands as Siaki charges them both, but they both duck his lariat. Siaki kicks Lynn, but Money gets him with a facebuster and a neckbreaker, almost like Rick Michaels’ Double Shot, for two. Lynn gets a flying head scissors on Money and follows it up with a cradle piledriver attempt but its reversed into a Money in the Bank attempt. Siaki superkicks Money in mid move, allowing Lynn to sunset flip him for a broken up two. Siaki was late on his cue to break up the count so Money had to kick out. Lynn charges Siaki who tosses him over his head onto Money’s shoulders. He rans Money....and Money ends up spearing Siaki for a broken up two. Looked really contrived. Siaki gets his pumphandle exploder suplex on Lynn for a broken up two and both Siaki and Lynn are sitting down in the corner. Money does his stupid little gunslinger dance and hits a dropkick on Siaki that i’m SURE Siaki saw coming for miles. Money really needs to drop that from his repertoire as he looks silly and the fans don’t pop for it at all. He tries the same thing on Lynn but Jerry got his feet up and dropkicks Money. Andrew McManus, promoter of the WWA promotion, is shown at ringside with a beautiful woman. See what money does for you, kids? Lynn uses Siaki as a stepping stone to jump onto Money with a tornado DDT that ends up in a broken two count. Siaki goes to the apron and gets a Lynn shoulder block. He goes for his legdrop to end the combo, but Siaki moves out of the way and hits him with an uppercut. Lynn knocks Siaki down to the outside and elevates a charging Money over the top and onto him as well. While Siaki and Money brawl on the outside, Lynn somersaults onto them off the top. Lynn and Siaki are back in the ring now when Money flips back in and Lynn ducks the Money Clip, but Siaki doesn’t. Both men then clothesline each other and all 3 men are down. Lynn picks up Siaki and goes for the TKO....but Siaki floats over and tries one of his own. Lynn catches him with a reverse DDT on the way down though for a broken up two! Lynn is then whipped into the corner by Money, but tries to jump over and is caught. Money puts him in a tombstone position, then lays him vertically, so Lynn’s body is horizontal and facing Money’s crotch....then drives him down with his knees in a move that Tenay calls the Money Bag. Looks more like a CrotchDriver to me. Siaki then hits Money with an over head belly to belly for two. Money then tries a flapjack on Siaki but Lynn joins in on the fun and they perform 3D! Money starts arguing with the ref for some reason and gets a Cradle Piledriver by Lynn! He goes for the cover, but Siaki pulls the ref out. While Siaki is arguing with the ref, the “mystery” woman gets on the apron, wearing a leather jacket and a short beige skirt. She gets Lynn’s attention and slowly takes the jacket off, to reveal a tight leopard designed top. It wasn’t skimpy or anything, so I don’t see the point. She then slaps Lynn and he grabs her by the hair but Siaki send to the outside. Money sets up for the Cha-Ching, but his back is too hurt and Siaki hits the Siakalypse for the pin.

 

My Opinion: The match didn’t really click too well for some reason. I didn’t care for the finish as Money’s back wasn’t worked on AT ALL and so he didn’t have a real reason to sell it at the end. **1/4.

 

After the match, Russo jumps over the rail and the woman gives him a hug. They go into the ring and Russo starts telling Siaki how much he wants him in S.E.X. Russo: “You are the ELITE athlete in this business”. He wants him as the CENTERPIECE of S.E.X. So, to “pay” for his services....he’s brought the girl. She’s all his, according to Russo. Vince: “Look at her Sonny....Tits...Ass...everything that Sports Entertainment is about. Every dirty thought that you’ve ever had in your mind will come true. Look at this!” Now that we get a close up of her face...she’s not overly pretty, but she is sexy. He then says: “Sonny....I’ve got one last thing to say to you. It was Tony Montana who said ‘Sonny, The World Is Yours’”. Well, he never actually says that in Scarface. Russo is not WORTHY of quoting that masterpiece. Most inspirational movie I’ve ever seen! That’s right.

 

Jerry Lynn then jumps Russo from behind and before you can think “Russo swerve”, the woman clips Lynn’s leg and Siaki lays the boots to him as Russo says “You professional wrestler”, meant as an insult. She then low blows him and Siaki leaves with Russo and the girl. Siaki definitely fits the S.E.X. mold.

 

BG James vs. The Truth in a Falls Count Anywhere, No DQ Match.

 

Match Background: Two weeks ago, BG James turned on The Truth at the end of the show, hitting him over the head with a steel chair and joining Vince Russo’s “Sports Entertainment Extreme”. The following week, BG’s father, Bullet Bob Armstrong, made a Chains and Chair match between the two men, which The Truth won clean. However, after the match, Bullet Bob came to ringside to stop The Truth from inflicting more pain on his son and this allowed BG to recover and get off a chairshot. He missed The Truth though and ended up nailing his father instead.

 

The Match: The Truth comes down to the ring with a mic and blesses us with a new rap.

 

This goes out to the S.E.X.

Ya’ll knuckleheads better show some respect

Suntan Supermans up in the house

I don’t like BG, how you like me now

Good Lord, try your luck, you get tossed

Ya’ll Harris Boys don’t want me to set it off

If I was Vince Russo I wouldn’t brag

Next time I see ya, I’ma whip dat ass!

 

Before he can do his little dance, BG jumps him from behind. Bunch of ring hands by BG, before he taunts the crowd with a dance of his own. Truth jumps over a charging BG in the corner and hits his spinning leg lariat and flying forearm. BG bails, but Truth follows and the brawl up the ramp. He kicks BG, does his little dance and then nails the scissors kick (with spin) on the top of the ramp. If you think that the opponent waits too long to receive a scissors kick most of the time....this was maybe twice that as BG had to wait til Truth was done dancing. Truth gets a two count there and then throws him off the ramp onto the platform where the TNA girls dance. They brawl into the crowd and BG nails him with a trashcan for two. He does it again, then powerbombs The Truth through a table for two as well. BG then grabs a metal tray some somewhere and nails him over the head with it. He even uses one of those yellow “caution” stands that business’ use when their mopping. He goes to hit Truth with SOMETHING....I’ve got no clue what it is, but Truth kicks him and he drops it to the floor, shattering in a million pieces. Truth then picks up the shovel and nails him in the face with it. He heads towards the ring with BG, but Elix Skipper nails him from behind and racks him over his back using nunchucks! Low-Ki and Daniels attack as well and BG wins the match.

 

My Opinion: The match was really short, didn’t feature almost anything but brawling and didn’t have a clean finish. ¼* for Truth’s offense.

 

Bullet Bob comes to ringside immediately and takes THE STICK~! He wants Ki, Daniels and Skipper to face the NWA right now in a fair 3 on 3 match with the SAT.

 

The SAT & Red vs. Low-Ki, Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper

 

Match Background: This match was made as a direct result of what just transpired. This is the first time The SAT & Red have officially teamed up together in TNA in quite some time. The last time we saw Low-Ki, he was injured at the hands of Ace Steel and Mortimer Plumtree all the way back in Week 15. Christopher Daniels hasn’t been around in even longer since he last wrestled in TNA in Week 5, taking on the Flying Elvises with Elix Skipper. Elix Skipper’s last appearance was in Week 17 when he was in a 5-man elimination match along with the SAT’s, Red & Kid Kash.

 

The Match: Skip, Daniels and Ki slide into the ring, taking the advantage immediately. God, I’ve missed these guys. Daniels and Elix take Red and Jose to the outside and Low-Ki, on the apron, springboards into the ring with a knee to Joel. Low-Ki goes for the cartwheel kick in the corner but Joel moves and dropkicks him over the top to the floor. Jose and Elix blow an armdrag and Skipper heads to the outside as Daniels comes in to take over. Jose ducks a Daniels clothesline and hits a suicide dive on Skipper near the announce table! Red comes off the top with a rana on Daniels! Low-Ki in the ring now and all three SAT’s avalance him in the corner. Well, actually, Jose hits a weak one, Red hits a good one and Joel ACTUALLY hits the move that everyone seems to do when they miss a Bronco Buster....a crotch avalance to the chest...and it STILL looked sloppy! They then hit one of the most contrived combos of all time....as Red springboard dropkicks Low-Ki off of Joel’s shoulders, he gives ‘Ki to Jose in a tombstone position while Joel dropkicks him in the head and Red comes back in with a double team Diamond cutter like Bam Bam and DDP used to do. Jose then tries a Tornado DDT, but ‘Ki gets an atomic drop and tags in Daniels, who gets caught in the SAT corner. He bumps like a madman for them for two before Red comes in and they give him a double dropkick. Red with a series of enziguiri’s for two. Powerslam for two, but its broken up WITH AUTHORITY by Low-Ki. Daniels gets tossed over the top and Skipper comes in...along with Low-Ki only to be placed in one of the most contrived submission holds ever. Red ends it all with a dropkick to face to a pop. Double bulldog on Daniels gets two, followed by a top rope dropkick by Red for another two count. Skipper gets a shot in on Red, allowing Daniels to take over who then looks at the Maximo’s and taunts them like a DAMN good heel should. Skipper then comes in and he press slams Red onto the top rope. Skipper knocks down the other two Maximo’s who end up brawling with Daniels and Ki as Skipper takes down Red with a belly to belly. Skipper goes for a bunch of two counts in a spot I’ve always loved as the crowd chants “SAT”. Red is worked over in the corner as both Low-Ki and Skipper take turns raking his face with their boots in a vicious move that should be done by every heel in EVERY MATCH! Low-Ki with the MUTA ELBOW~! for two! Red gets an inside cradle but Skipper distracts the ref until Joel gets his attention and he only gets two. Daniels gets a delayed vertical suplex followed by a split legged moonsault for two. Skipper stretches Red, but he fights out. Red goes for the tag but gets cut off by Low-Ki and Skipper as West makes an EXCELLENT point about how Red has been in the ring for 30 minutes tonight with his participation in the first match. Low-Ki works him over some more before Red is able to hit a desperation DDT. He STILL can’t make the tag as Ki gets him in position for the Ki Krusher! He runs towards the corner to drive his head into the turnbuckle first, but Red wriggles free and head scissors him into the turnbuckle! Red gets CODE RED~! on Low-Ki but its broken up by Skipper! “Go Red Go” by the crowd. Red makes the hot tag to BOTH Maximos as they both come in and take care of the 3 guys. I had no clue that was legal! Finally, its just Skipper and Jose in the ring as Jose gets a tornado DDT for two! Daniels comes in and hits him with an STO and follows it up with the Double Jump Moonsault for a broken up two! Joel comes in and hits Maximo Impact on him for a broken up two! Skipper gets a brainbuster on Joel for two! Skipper with a spinning pescado on Joel as Low-Ki is thrown to the outside. Red comes in and starts WAILING on ‘Ki like a MAN and goes for the Code Red, but it gets reversed as Low-Ki tosses him on his head. Low-Ki hits him with a backbreaker and goes for a Phoenix Splash but misses! Red with the Infra-Red but HE misses! Low-Ki crawls over and gets two two counts on him. Joel starts brawling with Skipper at ringside, ripping up a sign in the process accidentally. Low-Ki once again sets him up for the Ki Krusher but Red rolls him up for a quick two count! At this point, Don West actually gets on TOP of the announce table and starts SCREAMING “GO RED GO!” Skipper and Joel are still brawling at ringside and Joel is showing FIRE with his punches! Red with a rana on Daniels....ONE....TWO....NO! Daniels with a Blue Thunder Bomb and he tags out to Low-Ki. He holds Red in place.....Ki charges but Red ducks and Daniels EATS a Yakuza kick! Red roll up, ONE....TWO...NO! He comes back with a clothesline and the cartwheel kick...which doesn’t hit flush for some reason. The Maximos are busy with Daniels and Skipper as Red is just dead weight in the ring but Low-Ki STILL can’t put him away. West tries to get everyone to chant “Go Red Go” as Red hits an enziguiri and follows it up with the 718, called the 719 by West. Red springboards in with a swinging DDT for two! Skipper comes in with a HARD gut wrench powerbomb on Red and he STILL kicks out! Low-Ki picks him up for the Ki Krusher and climbs the turnbuckles with him, but Red fights out and the SAT set up for Spanish Fly! Daniels and Skipper pull them off and hit their respective finishers on them. Red goes for a rana off the top on Low-Ki, but he blocks it and turns it into a TOP ROPE KI KRUSHER for the pin!

 

My Opinion: Now THIS is why I miss Low-Ki, Daniels and Skipper. Red can play an underdog baby face VERY well and the SAT’s were very focused tonight. There were a few awkward spots but aside from that, this match was awesome from start to finish. ****

 

As soon as it ends, Russo and BG James come in and he asks BG why there’s always tables under the ring. He then orders them to drive the SAT through the tables as Russo lays the verbal smackdown on Red some more. They put all 3 of them on the table, and the 3 S.E.X. X guys go to the top....but Hennig tosses Skipper off and he starts fighting off all of them. All of a sudden, David Flair (with black hair now) comes into the ring with an AXE and nails Hennig in the face with it and puts him in the Figure Four! Jarrett comes running down to the ring with a steel chair and nails anything that moves! He hits the Stroke on Low-Ki and puts David Flair in the Figure Four, which he doesn’t sell well at all! Hennig picks up the chair and tries to fight the rest of the guys off as AJ STYLES comes in and starts beating on Jarrett. They then put Jarrett on the table and Ki & Skipper dive off the top together, driving him through it. Russo then takes the axe and tears down the TNA logo on the top of the ramp to close the show.

 

Overall: This show was a definite mixed bag. There were only 5 matches although one of them was absolutely amazing. However, there was just too much Russo and it reminded me of an old Nitro back when the NWO were in EVERY segment. I liked the angles but they overshadowed the wrestling. The debuts of David Flair, The Road Warriors were nothing to me compared to the re-debuts of Low-Ki, Chris Daniels and Elix Skipper.

 

Watch out for the Ring of Honor shows, exclusively on TSM.

 

See you next year!

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

 

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