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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (7/10/2003)

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Guest TSMAdmin

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (7/10/2003)

by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

 

E-Mail of the Week: Bryan Thompson is this week's winner, raising a lot of questions that I'm not sure I can answer.

 

Hey,

 

Just wanted to give you my opinions on Smackdown, and ask a few questions.

 

I'm really disappointed with the direction Smackdown is taking. It seemed like last month, while Raw was building towards a fucking HORRIBLE brand-only PPV, Smackdown was going to put on an amazing show the next month. I think anybody with any wrestling knowledge could have booked a great PPV.

 

You had a returning Kurt Angle, and it looked like we were getting Brock/Angle II at Vengence. I was planning on buying the PPV for that alone. They throw the Big Slow in there, and they've lost my money, and I doubt I'm the only person who isn't going to buy it now that his fat ass is in the main event.

 

Eddy and Tajiri vs Team Angle were putting on incredible matches. The crowd ate everything the four men did up. I was looking forward to them ending the fued at Vengence. Isn't that usually the case? I was expecting great buildup, then an amazing blow off match at the PPV to end a great fued. These guys were putting on great shit, and the crowd loved every second of it. I think it's a big mistake to end it early, despite the fact that we may be getting a Eddy singles push. Who are Haas and Benjamin going to wrestle at Vengence?

 

Chris Benoit and Rhyno appeared to be getting ready to go at it. According to house show reports, that's still the case but I think it could have been build better towards better than how they are doing it. Back-to-back matches with the Basham brothers, one on Velocity, in which they completely forget any of the past tension Rhyno and Benoit had? And what the hell is up with Benoit and "Shaniqua" having that little stare down? If that bitch gets anywhere near anything Benoit ever does...I will hurt someone.

 

Then you had the US Title Tournament. I was expecting a well thought out tourney, with two DESERVING wrestlers going at it at Vengence. I won't even go into the tournament, because it's been horrible. Rumors say Billy Gunn was supposed to get the title...I doubt it now, after the reaction he got on Smackdown. I actually forgot that we were in the middle of a tournament for a title while I was watching tonight.

 

I was also looking forward to a good cruiserweight title match. Ultimo and Rey would have an AMAZING fued, and they still may down the line...but I was hoping they would jump start it right off the bat. I believe it would have done wonders for the cruisweight title. Instead, a week after Ultimo makes his big WWE debut, he's in a dark match? Instead of an Ultimo Dragon match we get A-Train vs Orlando Jordan and Stephanie McMahon and Z vs The Big Show? While I'll enjoy the hell out of Rey Rey and Kidman going at it, I think Ultimo and Rey would be MUCH more entertaining to everyone. Kidman got pretty much no reaction at all while he was champ...I doubt the average WWE mark gives a flying shit about him right now.

 

It just seemed like Vengence was going to be a great show. They pulled all the stops out for the Raw brand, bringing back Foley, and bringing in the HIAC, and Raw still put on a shitty show. It's like they aren't even trying for this upcoming PPV.

 

Anyways, I was wondering what you thought about all that. Am I totally off?

 

I could keep going, but it's too depressing.

 

I assume we'll be answering some of these tonight, but I do think they need to hold off on Rey vs. Ultimo for a while, because that is a potential money match for WrestleMania if they do it right. The question is: Will they do it right? I'm afraid of the answer.

 

 

Forums Quote of the Week: What do they think is going to happen that day?

 

Ding Dong

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Ashley!" "And I'm Mary Kate! Tee Hee!"

"We want your cock!"

-The ChriZa on those who are counting down to the Olsen Twins' 18th birthday

 

Actually...that's EXACTLY how it will happen.

 

Didn't you hear about the sweepstakes Ashley and Mary Kate has set up to address this? The winner of said sweepstakes wins a very special visit from them within a month of their 18th birthday.

 

Sadly, since you didn't know about it, you must've missed the sign up cut off date.

-El Satanico in response

 

 

See, this isn't difficult: Fresh off of Nik Johnson's excellent column about WWE refusing to put halfway decent extras onto their DVDs, the extras for the Bad Blood DVD were announced, and they are basically three extra interviews and the stuff from Heat. Considering that lineup, was it really that hard to think of other ideas for extras? Such as:

 

In honor of Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair, why not show their only ever previous meeting from 1991?

 

In honor of Hell in a Cell, why not Triple H vs. Mick Foley from No Way Out 2000? That even goes with the storyline of the HHH-Kevin Nash match that night.

 

The Raw Tag Team Titles went to a "French" team? Why not show The Quebecers, French-Canadians, winning the WWF Tag Team Titles from the Steiner Brothers on the 9/13/1993.

 

Goldberg vs. Jericho? How about the "Greenberg" vignettes from 1998?

 

Stacy's services on the line? How about Randy Savage vs. George Steele for Elizabeth's managerial services from the March 1997 Saturday Night's Main Event?

 

Add in the Heat match, and you've just seen six extras that make it more than just another DVD. Of course, that took me all of two minutes to think of, and WWE production couldn't think of it in six weeks.

 

Tonight: Zach Gowen signs his contract, we build to what looks to be a shitty Vengeance card, and there might be some matches or something. Can you feel the excitement?


Segment 1

 

STILL photos are used as highlights from last week's FREE show? What the fuck?

 

Taped 7/8/2003 from Toronto's Air Canada Centre! Zach Gowen will sign his contract tonight!

 

But first, let's bring out My Olympic Hero to "affectionate" chants of "You suck". Your hosts are Michael Coleslaw and Tazz, who spend more time hyping Gowen than the man in the ring who has a PPV main event coming up. Huge chant of "Angle" once the music dies. But he's an American! In Canada! You're supposed to boo him until you get told he's the face because a Canadian mentions Hollywood! Angle's here not to wrestle, but to make a point. He lost the WWE Title at WrestleMania, but he gets a chance to win it back in less than three weeks at Vengeance. It's a triple threat match against Brock Lesnar and The Big Show. It'll be tough and brutal, but he's got three words for them: "Bring it on!" Because he's worked too hard not to return to Toronto with championship gold around his waist. BUT WAIT! Here comes John Cena for...um...I dunno. Cena does a freestyle saying the match is a manage a trois (sp?) and not a triple threat, and that the REAL main event of Vengeance is Taker vs. Cena. Yeah, uh huh. Huge "Cena" chant as this gets rather vulgar for 8:06 pm. Angle says he's finally found someone who's whiter than he is. He'll give Cena his mad props, but as a wrestler, Angle's multitalented ("Oh it's true.") He can do Greco-Roman and amateur, but sometimes he likes to "kick it freestyle". There's the sideways hat as Cena calls him a "wannabe Kojak". Angle apparently wants a rap-off, so he asks Brian Hebner, who's conveniently at ringside with another referee, to give him a beat. The crowd's popping for the beat! Angle: "You remind me of that Police Academy guy. That's pretty good." Angle does a rap that's actually pretty funny. "I might suck, but you just blow. Word." I like it and the crowd likes it, but Cena doesn't because it's obvious Angle never majored in Thuganomics. Angle gives him a hug and says "You never majored in Huganomics. East side!" Cena wants a challenge, but Angle says he'll make him tap. Never mind, it's time for The Too Damn Big Show to make his appearance! Cena jumps him from behind (as if you're shocked) and hits the FU. Now it's Show's turn, and there's the Choke Slam!


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

I'm confused about something here. Did they change the Vengeance lineup around and add Cena vs. Angle to it? No? Then might I ask what the point of this was? Sure, it was highly entertaining, but the main event at Vengeance is Angle vs. Show vs. Lesnar with Cena vs. Undertaker on the undercard. This would have been fine had Cena vs. Angle been set up for tonight, but as far as I can tell, that match isn't on the card, so we basically had two guys the fans care about waste ten minutes for someone the fans don't care about to hit his one move. This isn't even a lack of logic. It's a lack of common sense. Funny but pointless segment.


Segment 2

 

Still to come, we'll revisit Zach Gowen's "special moment". What, did he lose his virginity to Britney Spears this week?

 

Fatal Four Way Match to determine the number one contenders to the SmackDown Tag Team Titles: The Brothers Basham (w/Shaniqua) vs. Chuck Palumbo/Johnny Stamboli (w/Nunzio) vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Misterio Jr. (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. The APA

 

Three guesses who wins this one and the first two don't count. First fall wins, and the winner gets the shot at Vengeance. Ron Simmons and Palumbo start. Lock up, Palumbo with a cheap back heel kick, and it quickly turns into a slugfest. Simmons catches Palumbo with a powerslam, and Stamboli makes the save at 2. Danny Basham tags in, and so does Bradshaw. Kidman tags himself in, and Basham gets a forearm smash in and covers for 2. Standing dropkick, but Doug Basham has tagged in and gets a spinning slam in. It quickly turns into a clusterfuck with everybody and their dog running in until the APA and FBI battle on the floor and brawl toward the back. Rey drop toeholds Doug into the corner as Kidman and Rey do dives to the floor, and we cut to a...


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

What would be so wrong with simply announcing this as The Basham Brothers against Rey Jr. and Kidman and leaving the FBI and APA out of it altogether? Well, the two teams I want to see out here are the only two remaining, so hopefully we get a nice finishing sequence to close this match out.


Segment 3

 

Doug Basham has Rey locked in a reverse chinlock when we return, so let's go to "during the break" footage of the FBI and APA brawling backstage. Hey, Nobody Betta Than Kanyon got airtime! Yes, this is more important than the top contenders according to WWE. Eh, we're still in the chinlock when they go back to the ring, so it's all good. Danny tags in, but Rey counters a hiptoss into a bulldog headlock. Tags on each end, and Kidman gets the springboard bulldog to Doug and the enzuigiri to Danny. Doug regains control, but he's a WWE rookie who hasn't learned that you can't power bomb Kidman, so he ends up eating canvas! Kidman up for the Shooting Star Press, but Shaniqua stops that long enough for Doug to follow him up...but Kidman tosses him off the turnbuckle. Shooting Star Press, but Danny makes the save. Rey in and dumped over the top rope, Danny hits Kidman with a DDT, and Doug covers for 2. Jawbreaker by Kidman to Danny, and Rey is in. Shot to the back of the head, 619, Dropping the Dime, pin at 10:38. Hot finish, but rather so-so until that point. **

 

Backstage, the trainer is putting ice on Angle's neck as King Brock I comes in to find out what happened and see if he's OK. He claims he'd have been there for him, but he just got there. But if he can't handle Show, how can he handle Brock? But who was it that lost to Show in the first place? Angle makes it clear that at Vengeance, "we ain't gonna happen".

 

Up next, we take you back to last week.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

So we've got Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin against Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman at Vengeance, and that could be an excellent matchup to save the PPV. But Kidman's more or less said he wants the Cruiserweight Title, and who holds it? Rey Misterio Jr. I'd be shocked if Kidman doesn't turn heel at Vengeance. Still, props to Cole and Tazz for acknowledging that Rey and Kidman have teamed up before, even if "WCW Tag Team Champions" never came out of their mouths. That should help to build them up as a legitimate threat to Haas and Benjamin.


Segment 4

 

We are from Toronto's Air Canada Centre, home of the Raptors. And speaking of the Raptors, Vince Carter is in the hizzouse!

 

The red carpet is set up for Zach Gowen's contract signing, which is the one time they could have forgotten to do something on-air and it would have been a given, but it's WWE, so we have to use it anyway. Let's go back to last week. In case you missed it, let's show the ENTIRE MATCH. Read last week's recap if you really want to relive this.

 

We finally get new footage as Stephanie McBitch comes to the ring holding the contract over her head.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

Was showing the entire match again really necessary? I mean, yeah, cool, he got his contract. I saw it on SmackDown last week, and those who didn't and cared saw this on either Velocity or Afterburn this weekend. The end of this match should have been the blowoff to this feud, but you can't simply let it go at the perfect finish, can you? Let's say it real slow so that maybe someone in creative understands it.

 

Most... of... us... don't... want... to see... anymore... McMahons... on TV... anytime... soon.

 

Stephanie is the only one with any legitimate reason to be on TV at this point, and I'm being nice about saying that since I can use your own storylines to dispute that if I chose to right now. So we not only get to continue this storyline by showing a contract signing...a given considering that was the stipulation of last week's match...but we also have to replay the entire match from last week in the event that we're too stupid to remember the previous week's show. Oh, I think I get it now. You showed that clip because the creative team forgot last week's show! NOW it makes perfect sense!


Segment 5

 

We just saw why Steph thinks Zach Gowen is the most extraordinary person this side of Triple H, so let's bring him out. Aww, they hug. How sweet. That's grounds for a depushing, isn't it? Oh, that's only on Raw. Zach's got the stick, and his dream has been to compete in WWE, and last week his dreams came true. So there's no need to sign the contract, right? He thanks Steph, Angle, and Brock, but he mostly wants to thank the fans for giving him support. We're his heroes! He's proud to be the newest WWE superstar, "but enough of the mushy crap. Let's get down to business." He didn't read the contract before he signed it. He missed the "must job to Vince McMahon" clause. And speak of the devil, here comes Mr. McAsshole and No Longer Able Sable to make me reach for the remote. Vince is all oh, he's so proud to be a superstar. Vince says he speaks for Canada when he says he's proud of Steph and Zach. Who wouldn't be proud of having his daughter slap him in the face? Why wouldn't he proud to see someone need the help of two people to fulfill his dreams? And he's proud to announce a handicap match for tonight involving Brock Lesnar as he takes on The Big Show, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas. Are you sure you have enough time for that? I mean, you've got barely an hour left and only one match has actually taken place so far, and since even a subtandard indy show will have a minimum of five matches booked before the impromptu stuff starts... And can't Steph overrule that since it's her show and all? Vince reminds Zach that he works for Vince, and Vince will fire him if necessary. So Gowen's first "official" match will be against Vince McMahon. There went the purchase from the last two people who were still considering it. Vince is considering wrestling with one arm tied behind him or blindfolded or something. Oh yeah, and Sable hits Stephanie with the clipboard since...um...because she's with Vince is the only thing I can think of, as it made no sense in the context of this segment.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

Read the e-mail of the week closely, particularly this line: You had a returning Kurt Angle, and it looked like we were getting Brock/Angle II at Vengence. I was planning on buying the PPV for that alone. They throw the Big Slow in there, and they've lost my money, and I doubt I'm the only person who isn't going to buy it now that his fat ass is in the main event. Well, the undercard now has Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen despite the fact that this "feud" has had like three blow-offs already. Is anybody who actually has to pay for a PPV to see it still going to pay for this one now?


Segment 6

 

Moments ago, Vince made a match for Vengeance and Sable hit Steph with a clipboard. Let's get multiple angles of it as even Cole admits that it makes absolutely no snese.

 

Backstage, Vince and Sable are celebrating that last segment as only they can, when Steph does the fakest sounding scream this side of her screams in bed with Triple H before running in to spear Sable. Vince has to pull Steph off Sable as Steph screams "I hate you!" Vince responds by signing Steph vs. Sable at Vengeance, and I beg In Demand to go "Fuck you Vince, nobody's going to pay for this shit!"

 

Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: Shannon Moore v.0.75 and Matt Hardy v.1.0 vs. Chris BeNOIT and The Man Beast Rhyno

 

Matt Facts: "Matt lost his virginity at 17" (no mention of Britney Spears) and "Matt has never worn earrings". Hardy meets Benoit in a U.S. Title tournament semifinal next week. Rhyno and Moore start. Rhyno pretty much opens up on both of the heels until Matt clips Rhyno from behind as Rhyno tries to spinebuster Moore. Hardy tags in and goes for a quick win, but can only get 2. Side Effect gets 2 as Benoit makes the save. Moore tags in. Double kick to the midsection, and Moore with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Moore uses Rhyno's own arm to try to choke him out. Rhyno tries to battle out, but Moore takes him down with a clothesline. Rhyno with an elbow and a flapjack into the top turnbuckle. Hot tag to Benoit, and Benoit is cleaning house on both opponents. Snap suplex to Moore gets 2. Hardy trips up Benoit to help Moore out, but it doesn't last long, as Benoit gets in two release German suplexes. Up top...Swan Dive Headbutt! In comes Hardy, in comes Rhyno, the ref stops Rhyno, and Hardy hits Benoit with the Twist of Fate. Rhyno Gores Hardy, and all four men are down. Moore finally covers Benoit for 2, and Benoit's kickout goes straight into the Crippler Crossface for the submission win at 4:17. Give them five more minutes! *3/4

 

Handicap Match later tonight!


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

This made a bit of sense, as Hardy and Benoit meet next week in the semifinals of the United States Title tournament, but then only Benoit figures into the decision. Even under WWE logic, that makes no sense, as how can Hardy get his job back if Moore was the one who actually tapped out? Energetic affair, and I give them credit for that, but this really needed some time to actually tell a story.


Segment 7

 

Angle is talking to Brock about his handicap match tonight. Brock asks Angle if he's got his back, so Angle says he's got him covered because he doesn't want Brock to use an injury as an excuse when he wins the title from him at Vengeance.

 

United States Title tournament quarterfinal scheduled for one fall: Eddy Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

 

Loser gets to job to...er, I mean, loser wrestles Billy Gunn in the semifinals. Huge "Eddy" chant as he enters the ring, proving that fans can't always be programmed into hating who they want us to hate. Before the match can begin, Eddy offers Tajiri a sincere apology and get well wish. The Eddy chants start up again. Eddy admits he has a bad temper, but can you blame him? Crowd: "NOOOOOOOOO!" Not only did they lose the titles, but the boy touched his ride, and that's just like touching his Mamacita...he needs to be taught a lesson. ANOTHER "Eddy" chant. This backfired BIG-TIME on WWE! But Eddy learned a lesson himself. It's about time that Eddy Guerrero starts taking care of himself. And that starts tonight. Ultimo comes to the ring, and Cole and Tazz more or less promise a classic. There's the bell. Another Eddy chant as they lock up. Eddy into a wristlock, and Dragon is out of it with an armdrag. Eddy into a hammerlock. Dragon snap mares out of it. Rope running sequence, Dragon with a legsweep, and there's his vintage kick combo. Eddy rolls to the floor for a Tastykake break. Back in, and Eddy gets in a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Back suplex. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Dragon backdrops Eddy to the floor, Eddy barely avoids his ride, but a baseball slide does knock Eddy into his ride. Dragon goes for the Asai moonsault, but Eddy catches him with an elbow. Back in, and Eddy goes for the Hilo, but Dragon avoids it and gets a cradle for 2. Beautiful rana by Dragon. Spinning back kick, and he goes for an Asai moonsault, but Eddy counters into a sort of inside cradle and gets the pin with a handful of tights at 3:24. That's IT? Are you TRYING to piss your fanbase off? That was just getting started when it ended. *1/2

 

Backstage, Torrie Wilson grabs Billy Gunn's ass, and he apparently wants to prove that he isn't actually gay. Then they stop getting all lovey dovey when they run into Dave Hebner.

 

And later, 3-on-1 handicap match.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

What do you expect me to say? Eddy gets bigger pops as a heel than half the roster does as faces (and somehow I don't think they can blame the Canadian crowd on that one). In other words, we like Eddy Guerrero, so push him already, dammit! I have no problem with the actual finish, but that is now two matches that got less time than a match they showed from last week. And that time they basically promised a classic. The last time I checked, the only two people who were ever capable of doing a four minute classic were Owen Hart and Sean Waltman at King of the Ring 1994, and I think that was a complete accident. Somebody please give them a rematch with at least 15 minutes allotted for it!


Segment 8

 

Next week, Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Gunn and Chris Benoit vs. Matt Hardy in semifinal matches. That's as close to a visual bracket as you'll ever get.

 

Mixed Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall: Billy Gunn/Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie By God Noble/Nidia

 

WWE logic dictates that this will get more time than the last two matches combined. SummerSlam tickets go on sale Saturday if anybody has any confidence that creative will actually try for that one. Gunn and Noble start, and Gunn uses punches to gain early control. Cole says it's guys vs. guys and girls vs. girls as Noble gets some kicks to the leg in. Nidia is tagged in, so Torrie's supposed to come in. She finally does and tackles Nidia, and they do a crappy catfight before Nidia makes a "comeback" with an elbow. Series of stomps, but Torrie comes back with the swinging neckbreaker. Noble makes the save at 2. Gunn in as well, and they brawl to the floor until Noble sends Gunn into the ringpost. Torrie DDTs Nidia, and that gets the pin at 2:19. DUD Noble's got the stick, and he says she got lucky tonight, but she'll never be sexier than Nidia. Why, she's probably not half as good in bed. But he wants to find out. He knows she wants her. It's time for an indecent proposal, as Noble offers her $10,000 to spend the night with him. Is prostitution legal in Canada? Gunn spears Noble to little reaction, and Torrie DDTs Noble. Is that a no? Torrie then takes Nidia's shorts off for the only thing resembling a pop in the entire match.

 

Angle is going to lead Brock to the ring, but a technician tells Angle that Mr. McMahon needs to see him right away.

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

I swear to God, I think they booked this show just to see how much of my own hair I can rip in a two hour show. Mixed tag matches usually suck, and this was no exception. When the only pop you get in a five minute segment is for a woman revealing her panties two minutes after the match is over, you're way off the mark. What happened to that Noble and Nidia push that was pretty much guaranteed by giving them an actual angle? Being humuliated after losing a match isn't a push! That's three matches that got less time than the replay of the handicap match from last week, but I don't mind in this case.

 

Segment 9

 

Earlier tonight, Sable vs. Steph was signed for Vengeance. Also for Vengeance, Mr. McMahon vs. Zach Gowen. The finals of the U.S. Title tournament (with brackets!!!!!). Rey Jr. and Kidman vs. Haas and Benjamin for the Tag Team Title. Undertaker vs. Cena. And Brock vs. Big Show vs. Angle. That's one match I care about, possibly two depending on what the tourney match ends up being.

 

The following 3-on-1 handicap match is now a falls count anywhere match: The Too Damn Big Show, Charlie Haas, and Shelton Benjamin (WWE Tag Team Champions) vs. King Brock I (WWE Champion)

 

Haas and Benjamin are officially "The World's Greatest Tag Team" since Fox threw a hissy fit about a better sounding name.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

Outside of making the craptacular Vengeance lineup official, there's not much to see here.


Segment 10

 

We join the match in progress, and Brock hiptosses Haas and locks in a headlock. Haas reverses it. Off the ropes, shoulderblock by Brock, and a huge press slam. Benjamin in as Haas leaves, and Brock tosses Benjamin onto Haas, then takes Show down as he enters the ring. Out to the floor, and Brock wants to F5 Shelton, but Haas attacks from behind. Brock pretty much has his way with the tag team champions and brings Haas into the ring. Haas kicks away and gets a boot choke in the corner. Corner whip, reversals, and the champ with a corner shoulderblock combo. He drives Haas into the turnbuckle. Whip, reversal, and Shelton with the low bridge to send Brock to the floor. Show with a chair to the back, and Haas covers for 2. Back in the ring, and Haas hits a back suplex for 2. Tag to Show, and there's a headbutt. Bearhug, into the turnbuckle, and there's a slap to the chest. Show takes like 45 seconds to cover and wonders why he only gets 2. Brock takes Show down and punches away, but Show is able to get in a legdrop. Picking Brock up, tag to Haas, and that leads to Haas and Benjamin doing their double team against the ropes. It's a triple team on that side of the ring. Double bodyslam by Haas and Benjamin, and a waistlock by Benjamin (or a reverse bearhug if you prefer). Benjamin turns the hold so that he has more of a wristlock on while he holds the waistlock. Haas in, straight kick to the face, and even though there's no tag, it's legal since Jimmy Korderas was with Show. Dropkick by Haas for 2. Show is in now as a guy in the crowd chants "boring", and Show locks in a bearhug. Brock tries to punch out of it, but Show grabs the throat...and Brock avoids the Choke Slam and belly-to-belly suplexes Show out of the ring. Out of the ring he goes, and he and Show trades blows. Brock avoids a ringpost shot and sends Show in, but the tag team champions are on the attack. Brock disposes of the tag champs and F5s Haas in the ring. Benjamin pulls him out to the floor and continues the assault. Brock gets in a belly-to-belly suplex. Brock's finally got all three men down, but he decides to clear off the broadcast table instead of going for a cover. He positions the ringsteps in front of the table, but Benjamin attacks from behind...and gets sent into the ringpost. Benjamin on Brock's shoulders...but Show stops whatever he wanted to do by superkicking Brock in the face. Brock punches away at Show and sends him into the ringsteps. Brock signals for it and climbs the ringsteps...and before he can get in the F5, Show choke slams Brock through the broadcast table. One foot cover for the pin at 12:06, and what energy the crowd had left just left the sails right there. *** since Show didn't do that much of the work, but Brock had a bit too much control for comfort considering the odds. Show signals that he's your next champion as we go off the air.


END OF SHOW

 

Let's review what we had here. Brock Lesnar is against three guys and actually controls about 50% of the match. We get to the last half of the match, and it's essentially Brock dominating three guys before The Big Show gets yet another meaningless pin over Lesnar. So basically, Brock gets to make the Tag Team Champions look weak, Show gets to make the WWE Champion look weak, and this would have been the perfect opportunity for Angle to make the late save and make Show look vulnerable while also building the "where the hell were you sooner" angle, but instead he's "in the back with Vince" (which isn't followed up on), so the last thing we see is Big Show celebrating. Aren't there three people in the main event of Vengeance? Where the fuck was Angle? In a nothing segment with Cena, who has nothing to do with the main event of the PPV at all.

 

Overall, I'm going to end up sounding like a broken record, but when SmackDown focuses on the wrestling, the show's entertaining, and when the show focuses on the McMahon family saga, the show sucks. And since they had to replay the entire Zach Gowen match rather than have another match (or better yet, add five minutes to Eddy-Ultimo), they ruined what could have otherwise been a passable effort.

 

So far, Vengeance is going to have to rely on the Tag Team Title match and possibly the U.S. Title tournament final to be salvagable, and unless it's Eddy vs. Benoit I'm not sure that'll work either.

 

Send me feedback, check out my archives, and don't forget to check my report of the UWC's first TV taping.

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