USA Pro Wrestling TV November 29, 2002

[Guest TSMAdmin]

USA Pro Wrestling TV November 29, 2002

 

For those you who read my work about a year and a half ago, you should remember that I used to review a local New York wrestling federation, USA Pro Wrestling. For awhile my reviews of their TV show were on the federation’s official website, but then there was a falling out of sorts and I stopped reviewing the show. Josh Lowmon was looking for some more independent wrestling reviews on his site SmarkTalk.com, which is where I cross post a lot of my work. So in an effort to help diversify Josh’s site, I decided to take another look at this show. Fortunately, I turned in on a week where majority of the hour was devoted to lightweight stuff. Whereas in the past I had to watch wrestlers like Balls Mahoney, the Equalizer and Tommy Cairo in horrible garbage brawls. I think you can all sympathize with me on that one. Anyhow, this may or may not become a semi-regular column here on The Smart Marks. It all depends on my schedule and the general reaction to this review, so if you like what you read and want to read more, be sure to drop me a line.

 

The show’s host is the Masked Maniac, who just so happens to be the owner of USA PW under a mask. He hosts the show from his home in Suffolk County. Every now and then his three-year old son makes a cameo. The Maniac announces that the entire show will devoted to one match… a Gauntlet match, with the winner facing The Amazing Red in a United States Championship match. The Maniac asks, “How does a 150lb twerp that doesn’t even speak English win the US Title?” Only in America my friend.

 

Match #1: Stryker w/The Boogie Nights & Bobcat vs. Simon Diamond

I’ve heard good things about Stryker, but never saw him in the ring. He is pretty good in EWR though if you are running a small or regional promotion. The Boogie Nights are a tag-team that consists of Danny Drake and Mike Tobin. You can watch them job to The Natural Born Killers on the first ROH show. Bobcat spent some time in the WWF’s developmental program. I believe she was the ho that won the WWF Hardcore Title. Simon Diamond is of course from ECW. He went by the name Lance Diamond in the past and is presently married to Dawn Marie. I think that just about covers it. Stryker strikes (HAHA) Diamond from behind. Diamond gets 2 off a russian leg sweep. Stryker charges, but Diamond sunsets him for 2. Stryker connects with a standing dropkick and uses the tape on his wrists to choke Simon. Stryker with a bulldog and a kneedrop for 2. Diamond counters a tornado DDT with a northern lights suplex for 2. Simon follows up with the Simon Series. He covers, but the Boogie Nights distract Ref Hanson. Diamond sort-of backdrops Stryker on to his buddies. Outside the ring, Simon beats up all three heels. Back in, Diamond attempts a sunset flip, but the Boogie Nights pull Stryker on top of Simon for the pin. (4:00) ¾* This was decent for a four minute match. Only one sloppy spot. I would have preferred a clean finish and some psychology, but this is INDEPENDENT WRESTLING DAMNIT!! Which of course entails high spots and high impact moves.

 

Match #2: Stryker w/The Boogie Nights & Bobcat vs. Devine

Devine is well known as a member of the tag team Devine Storm, which consists of himself as well as Quiet Storm, who we will be seeing a little later. I have only seen Devine from his ROH appearances. Diamond wants a handshake. Devine ignores him, so he gets sucker punched. I’m starting to like Stryker and his outlandish heel antics. Stryker uses the tape again. Devine with a botched flying headscissors and a couple of dropkicks send Stryker to the floor, where he regroups with the Boogie Nights. A chase ensues outside the ring. Back in, Stryker with some weak offense including a back rake. He chokes Devine on the middle rope. Danny Drake gouges Devine’s face from the outside. A LONG sequence follows. It culminates with Stryker counters a rana with a powerbomb for 2. Stryker takes a page out of Diamond’s book and uses the Simon Series. Stryker hits his finisher, the Maximum Overdrive. Somehow Devine kicks out at 2, yet the bell rings. Stryker thinks he won the match. Devine school boys a distracted Stryker for the win. (4:06) ¼* Much sloppier than the opener and most of that is to blame on Devine. It amazes me that most of these wrestlers that everyone is praising can’t even properly pull off a rana or a flying headscissors without almost killing themselves or their opponent. Some of these guys just need to slow down. By slow-down I don’t mean WWE-style, but taking one’s time in the ring should be the first thing an aspiring wrestler is taught.

 

Match #3: Devine vs. Ghost Shadow

Never heard of Ghost Shadow. The ring announcer says he came from Mexico City, so maybe he wrestles down there. Besides that, he is a little chunky, so it should be interesting seeing his highspots. Devine leapfrogs, but Shadow counters with a sloppy spinebuster. He follows up with a superkick and two missile dropkicks. Devine gets 2 off a victory roll. Shadow reverses for 2. Shadow connects with a powerbomb and wins it with the majastral cradle. (1:39) DUD A little on the short side, but I’m not complaining.

 

Match #4: Ghost Shadow vs. Quiet Storm

Why not have Quiet Storm go up against his partner Devine? That would have been interesting. They trade armdrags and flip around a lot. CLIP to more flipping. Shadow goes for the majastral cradle, but Storm sits down on him for 3. (0:50) DUD This was a little too Lucha for my liking.

 

Match #5: Quiet Storm vs. Grim Reefer

Reefer is a young guy. Homegrown New York talent making his USA Pro debut here. Storm starts with a snap suplex for 2. A double underhook suplex also gets 2. Gutwrench suplex for 2. Storm is taking that bitch to school. Reefer comesback with a flying headscissors INTO A CROSSFACE! That was awesome. Storm rolls out of the hold, but is dropkicked to the floor. Reefer connects with a baseball slide and a frogsplash from the apron! Damn, that had to hurt seeing how he had almost no room in-between the ring and the safety rail. Back in, Reefer WALKS the top rope and hits a senton for 2. This guy is on fire. A Rude Awakening also gets 2. Reefer goes up top, but Quiet Storm regains the momentum when brings Reefer back down to the mat with a running Ace Crusher for 2. The Kryptonite Krunch also gets 2. Reefer scores with a powerslam for 2. Storm blocks a superplex and pushes Reefer to the mat. Storm jumps from the top and hits a DDT on the way down. He covers for the win. (4:22) **1/4 Now THAT is what a four minute spotfest should look like. Reefer is a fucking rookie and he didn’t miss a beat.

 

Match #6: Quiet Storm vs. Brian XL

Just like Devine Storm, I have only seen XL on ROH shows. XL charges the ring and dropkicks Storm to the floor. SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP (minus the handspring)!!!! HOLY SHIT!! Then again, I don’t watch much independent wrestling. Maybe that happens on every show, but I personally haven’t seen it since SummerSlam 1995. That move is fucking amazing, ‘nuff said. XL rolls him back in for 2. He gets another nearfall off a reverse rana. XL dropkicks a sitting Storm ala KDX. Now he stands on Storm and delivers a moonsault! That almost defied the laws of physics. He covers for 2. Storm finally on the offense, hits a few Roaring Elbows. Storm goes up top, but sees XL has gotten up, so he hops right down. XL goes up top and comes down with a backflip into a rana. This guy is sick. All of a sudden Storm hits the Spinal Shock (Victoria’s new finisher) for the win. (3:08) *1/2 This was basically a Brian XL exhibition up until the finish. I liked the Grim Reefer match better though because it was longer and both guys got some offense in.

 

Match #7: Quiet Storm vs. Scoot Andrews

I didn’t know Scoot wrestled in New York. I like the Black Nature Boy based on his ROH and ECWA work. Ref Hanson tells Scoot to speed it up as he enters the ring, so Andrews instantaneously destroys Storm. Storm pulls out a flying headscissors into a rana for 2. Scoot comesback with an Edge-O-Matic, which results in a nearfall. Storm counters the Viagra Driver with a northern lights suplex for 2. Scoot blocks a bulldog with a clothesline for 2. I guess Storm is running on empty because Andrews applies a chinlock while driving a knee to the back. That was the first resthold of the show, not too shabby. Scoot turns the hold into a neck crank. Quiet Storm scores with a few Roaring Elbows, but is put away with the Viagra Driver. (2:46) ½* Way too short. Storm was the iron man in this match lasting 11:06.

 

Match #8: Scoot Andrews vs. Kid Kash

Now we’re talking. Kash’s claim to fame would be his stint in ECW, where he was the second to last TV Champion. I always liked his work, so this has potential to be good. Kash gains the quick advantage with some stiff chops. Scoot blocks a flying headscissors with an Edge-O-Matic. He follows up with a dropkick for 2. They exchange blows. Andrews flips out of a powerbomb attempt and hits one of his own for 2. Scoot goes up top, but is dropkick by Kash. Kash catches Scoot with a rana in the corner. He follows up with a low blow. Kash applies the short armscissors. Andrews reverses the hold and delivers a low blow of his own. Kash regroups and wins it with the Money Maker. (4:17) ¾* Disappointing.

 

USA Pro United States Title: The Amazing Red vs. Kid Kash

This is what I hate about Gauntlet matches. We just sat through eight matches. The first seven meant nothing because the freshest guy ended up winning the thing. Red immediately gets 2 off a flying forearm. They trade armdrags and proceed to do a nice little sequence. Kash offers a handshake, but connects with a sucker punch. Didn’t we see that spot already on this show? Kash chokes Red with his bandana and pulls out a wicked crossarm backbreaker for 2. Kash goes to the bow and arrow with a chinlock. CLIP to Red getting thrown over the top on to a table, which doesn’t break. Kash powerbombs Red on to the table, as it still doesn’t break. Third time is the charm however. Damn, that table was almost as bad as Red when it came to no-selling. A point which I’ll get to a little later. Kash gets a long 2 from a fisherman’s buster. Kash is pissed and throws a chair at Red, which should end the match, but Red gets his foot on the rope. Kash covers a few more times, same result. Somehow Red rolls up Kash for 3. (5:17) ½* Kash chairs Ref Hanson after the match. OK, now there are some post match antics, but first I want to address the match itself. This match was horrible in the sense that Red was thrown over the top on to a table, powerbombed on a table, powerbombed THROUGH a table, given a fisherman’s buster and had a mother fucking chair thrown at him, YET he kicks out and goes on to win the match. Does anyone else see something wrong with that scenario? Also, why was a simple rollup enough to keep the relatively healthy Kash down? Well, I think the announcer, who must have watched too much WCW in his time, summed it up best, “DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!” Can’t say I do.

 

Now is when all hell breaks loss. Nightlife (Boogie Nights, Stryker and some other guy) attack Red. The guy whose name I don’t know injured himself while punching Red. Maybe he is related to Kevin Nash. Stryker pulls out a Stone Cold Stunner and then celebrates with the US Title. Red’s buddies, the SAT, run out for the save. Some way or another, Nightlife is still in the ring and out come Kevin Sullivan and his Dungeon of Doom (Gangrel, Luna Vachon, Psycho Sam Dudley, The Wall, and Ken Sweeny). They tear apart Danny Drake’s leg for a brutal five minutes until finally the footage is cut.

 

To cap off the show, the Masked Maniac gives his thoughts on the New York wrestling scene, or lack thereof.

 

THIS IS IT

I’ve seen worse, like every Monday when I watch Raw. Seriously though, there was a solid 30 minutes of wrestling here, most of it being watchable, so I can’t complain. Maybe I’ll do next week’s show. It all depends on if anyone actually wants to read another USA Pro review. I’m in the process of finishing off Part 4 of that WWF/WCW compilation, so keep an eye out for that.

 

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