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Victoria talks about the outfit she wore on Raw, From WWE.com
NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 06:40 PM
Post #31


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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QUOTE(AndrewTS @ Feb 21 2004, 07:02 PM)
"......and now we can have a cultural partnership of Trish/Molly. It would certainly attract the stereotypical Hispanic/50-year-old Black Woman viewers."

But where's Denzel Washington fit in?

Well, obviously, the Trish/Molly partnership would face its rocky times. One of those times would be when we see them backstage.

*Molly is sitting on a couch, painting her nails in somewhat of a cherry-red color. She notices one of her strands of hair slowly begin to fall in front of her eyes. She grabs a bottle of hairspray near her and attacks the strand, spraying it with nearly half the bottle. Finally, it falls in place on the mound of hair above Molly's hair. After a few seconds, Trish walks into the room in a brightly-colored, flowered mumu. She slowly walks over to the couch and flops herself on top of it.

Trish - Oh lord, my corns.....suga, my feet are just aching.

Molly - Oh girl, do you know what you need for that?

Trish - No baby, what?

Molly - Well, doll, the new "Monday Night Wars" DVD will just bring you back to life. It's full of all this shit and stuff about McMahon and that Bischoff chico and you know....all this other stuff....it's really hot. Girl, I am telling you.....

Trish - Oh baby, let me bring it home? Marvin's just gonna love it! I mean, it will take him away from all dat trash he watches on the movie box. He always has that B.E.T. on. You know, with all them peoples talking about their bling-bling and their bitches....girl, they just a bunch of hootchies to me. And I know he be picking up some stuff from there. The other day, I see him walking around with a boa and cane. I said Marvin, "Where you think you going?". And he said, "I'm going out to see my ho." And I said, "Oh boy, you best not. You gon' get my size-9 up your behind if you step out this house." But then he opened the door, and....

Molly - So, girl, what you up to tonight?

Trish - Oh, Lord, I don't know. Bischoff wants to see me in his office. Girl, he is a good lookin whitey, you know that?

Molly - Mama, you just said you hated him. Girl, he keep kickin your ass to the curb every week by putting you in all these matches and shit. Don't be takin that stuff from him.

Trish - But girl, he know how to satisfy a simple, black woman like me. And lord, sometimes, I close my eyes and pretend he's Denzel. OOOOOOHHHHHH LORD, how I love that man! Denzel is just my honey. I want to smother him up with kisses and bring him home and put him on my mantel.

Molly - Denzel? Girl, what kind of crazy shit you be talkin about? You ever get a look at Enrique Iglesias? That vato can get a look at my stuff anyday.

Trish - Enrique? Suga, he's okay for an appetizer. But Denzel is the main dish. His butt lookin all sweet and....

Molly - Chica, he don't got the flava of Enrique.

Trish - Girl, I KNOW you ain't be trashin Denzel.

Molly - I'm sayin Denzel as ugly as Cedric when he all dolled up in grey hair and shit for that movie about the barber shop.

Trish - Bitch, you ass is mine.

*A brawl breaks out where both women are clawing at each other's hair, shoving each other into walls, fighting on the floor.....until Trish pulls off her shoe and starts hitting Molly with it. Molly breaks out in laughter and Trish soon follows*

Molly - Sista, you know I can't stay mad at you. You my girl. It's gonna be me and you to the end.

Trish - Come on, baby. Let's get out of this room. It's hotter than hell in here. Boy, my corns is just achin today.
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Guest_Anglesault_*
post Feb 21 2004, 06:54 PM
Post #32





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This angle really needs Jazz to play the overly simple American Indian.
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CanadianChick
post Feb 21 2004, 07:27 PM
Post #33





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QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 04:35 PM)
This angle really needs Jazz to play the overly simple American Indian.

Personally, I think we need Stacy to play the stereo-typical blond high school girl too. She can start the rumors that lead to all the diva fights! Gold~!
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Guest_TheHulkster_*
post Feb 21 2004, 07:30 PM
Post #34





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Christian: ...and she had the most guady gold jewelry that i've ever seen Eric........Eric?...........Eric?!

*Eric, halfway through Christian's sob-story, is lost in the memory of a hot Atlanta night 7 years prior*

Christian: Are you even paying attention Eric?

*The former media powerhouse begins rubbing his chin as he stares at the ceiling. From ear to ear, a grin grows on his Ken doll-like profile*

Eric: Ahhhh my young Canadian friend. I see you have never had the luxury of tasting the aroma of finely boiled Gumbo.

Christian: Gumbo? What the in the heck is Gumbo?

Eric: It was 1997...

*A leather jacket wearing WCW Vice President had just finished his duties on his flagship show. He sought to, shall we say "unwind", over a few cocktails at his favorite exotic dance parlor. After observing acts that would make any normal man overcome with lust, he was still left feeling unsatisfied*

His wingman, lets call him Kevin N: Hey Boss, why the long face?

Eric: It just feels like i've seen it all before. As a man, do you think in our later years, that we eventually lose our allure with these collagen shooting, silicone enchanced, shells of women that are beaten into our minds by the media? Have I just lost my touch with my libido? Am I finally begining to yearn for the romance that is lacking in the standard $365 club quickie in the champagne room? Or is it....Kev?

*Eric's wingman, Kevin N becomes too enraptured in the busty blonde seated upon his lap and his bottle of Dom to give Eric a straight answer to his many romantic queries*

Eric: Forget you then!

*Dejected, the middle aged executive wanders out of the club and into his awaiting limo to head to his hotel room.*

*Nursing a mean hang over after a short night's rest, Eric still fits time in his early morning schedule to practice his Katas at his local Dojo.*

Sensei Miller: Somebody call yo mama Eric, you look like shit boy!

Eric: I had a rough night.

Sensei Miller: I told you before, strippers and booze on a weekday disrupt your flow of chi Baby! That's why I try save it for the weekends. Nobody watches WCWSN anyway. I must be the greatest!

Eric: It not that, I was just doing some soul searchin....Who is that striking woman over there in the corner?

Sensei Miller: That my Auntie Shanaynay. My uncle Earl lost his battle with Sickle Cell and I invited her down to the dojo to get her out the house.

*Eric introduces himself to the Flower Dress wearing, thick hipped maiden*

Eric: My name is Eric Bischoff, Vice President of World Championship Wrestling. The Hottest wrestling brand in the country and owner of the highest rated show on cable television. It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs, or should I say Ms. Miller.

Shanaynay: Aw bless you chile. Eva since Earl passed, I've been oh so lonely. I'm happy that mah nephew Ernest invited me down here to see this here Ka-ra-te show. It's been quite the pleasure.

*Eric begins to caress her hand and stare longingly into her overly shadowed eyes*

Eric: Believe me, the pleasure is all mine Ms Miller. Perhaps I could invite you and Ernest to my private Villa near Virginia Beach to help ease your suffering?


Christian: *after a long silent stare* ...........DUDE?!

Eric: I haven't even gotten to the best part of the story!

Christian: I think i've heard enough! I always wondered how the Cat got a job outside of running strip mall Karate Dojos, and now I wish I didn't know. You're a sick freak!

Eric:*whispers into the air*....Shanaynay

*To the soundtrack of Luther Vandross, the older and wiser Raw Co-GM enters Trish's locker room with a new found longing for the reformed former WWE Women's Champion*
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Guest_Anglesault_*
post Feb 21 2004, 07:31 PM
Post #35





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QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:08 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 04:35 PM)
This angle really needs Jazz to play the overly simple American Indian.

Personally, I think we need Stacy to play the stereo-typical blond high school girl too. She can start the rumors that lead to all the diva fights! Gold~!

Damnit chick! The whole idea is to make her something completely different from her current character.
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SuperJerk
post Feb 21 2004, 07:32 PM
Post #36


Nice play, Shakespeare.


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QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 02:20 PM)
I've never been so attracted to someone dressed as a yellow jacket.

I'm sure Henry Pym was relieved when he read that.
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Art Sandusky
post Feb 21 2004, 07:37 PM
Post #37


close to touch like michelangelo


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Shit, Chyna used to wear stuff that revealing.

And this thread has made me ill. Thank you, everyone.
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Guest_FrigidSoul_*
post Feb 21 2004, 07:37 PM
Post #38





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So basically the roles of Trish and Molly will be played by 1880s Afro-Americans from Alabama.

Since he's not being utilised Matt Hardy can become "Hardy Sawyer" and walk around with a thistle in his mouth, bare feet, and blue coverall's with no shirt. Since he's a heel, during ref bumps he'll break his homemade fishin' pole(made from an oak tree branch, twine, and a small twisted piece of chicken coup fence) over his opponent's head for the cheap victory.
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Guest_Anglesault_*
post Feb 21 2004, 07:39 PM
Post #39





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QUOTE(Kotzenjunge @ Feb 21 2004, 08:18 PM)
And this thread has made me ill. Thank you, everyone.

Victoria's ass made you ill?
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NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 07:48 PM
Post #40


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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QUOTE(FrigidSoul @ Feb 21 2004, 08:18 PM)
So basically the roles of Trish and Molly will be played by 1880s Afro-Americans from Alabama.

Have you NOT read the thread?! Molly is the stereotypical Hispanic!
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CanadianChick
post Feb 21 2004, 07:52 PM
Post #41





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QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 05:12 PM)
QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:08 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 04:35 PM)
This angle really needs Jazz to play the overly simple American Indian.

Personally, I think we need Stacy to play the stereo-typical blond high school girl too. She can start the rumors that lead to all the diva fights! Gold~!

Damnit chick! The whole idea is to make her something completely different from her current character.

Oh, okay.


Stacy as the intelligence, feminist that doesn't stand for women being disgraced as eye-candy? She's woman, hear her roar!
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NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 07:54 PM
Post #42


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:33 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 05:12 PM)
QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:08 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 04:35 PM)
This angle really needs Jazz to play the overly simple American Indian.

Personally, I think we need Stacy to play the stereo-typical blond high school girl too. She can start the rumors that lead to all the diva fights! Gold~!

Damnit chick! The whole idea is to make her something completely different from her current character.

Oh, okay.


Stacy as the intelligence, feminist that doesn't stand for women being disgraced as eye-candy? She's woman, hear her roar!

Stacy can be the evil white woman that stands in the way of the racial equality that Trish and Molly dream of.

*Stacy is watching television footage of Trish and Molly sitting in the locker room together*

Trish - Girl, one day I hope the blacks and the whites can all get along and be happy. Then maybe Marvin can be one of those CEO dealies. He brings enough money home, suga, there'll be enough gumbo and corn bread to feed my entire church. Oh lord, how they sing! HOW THEY SING!! ALLEUIA!!! Lord, I hope equality comes soon.

Molly - Chica, I like the way you think. Equality and shit would be good for everyone, homes.

*Stacy turns off the TV*

Stacy - Girls, over my dead body. Over my......dead.......body. *twirls hair angrily*
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A Happy Medium
post Feb 21 2004, 08:06 PM
Post #43


"eats a coyote, gains strength"


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Victoria should be that white, God-fearing, five year-old mothering soccer mom with the asexual haircut and jeans up to her ribcage.

Word.
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NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 08:07 PM
Post #44


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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QUOTE(A Happy Medium @ Feb 21 2004, 08:47 PM)
Victoria should be that white, God-fearing, five year-old mothering soccer mom with the asexual haircut and jeans up to her ribcage.

Word.

She could be the dorky white woman that tries to hang out with Trish and Molly sometimes. She brings them baked goods whenever she meets them and, trying to keep up with the interesting stories of Trish and Molly, tells stories of little Jimmy scoring the winning goal and little Mary winning her 5th-Grade Spelling Bee. Then, when her back is turned, they make fun of the way she dresses and insult her peach cobbler. This will show that the seemingly-perfect ethnic relationship between Trish and Molly has its downside as well.
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Guest_FrigidSoul_*
post Feb 21 2004, 08:11 PM
Post #45





Guests






*Mollycita and Trishelle sit in the back together on a sofa watching a small 15 inch TV with rabbit ears*

Trishelle: Mmm-mm sista'. I just loves my stories. That Passions is great.

Mollycita: You got that right girlfriend. Do me a favor and pass me those tortilla chips?

Trishelle: Ok, but first...lemme axe you sumpin'. What is it wit the men around here? Don't dey know what a fine woman be dease days?

Mollycita: Oh, don't even git me stahted on dat. No-oh!

*Just then Mark Henry walks in the room*

Mark: Hi ladies, I was just sitting around in my dressing room and I was feeling awfully lonely. I thought "Who better to go see than my two favorite women?", so I came by...but not empty handed. *Mark reveals he's brought a tub of Bon-Bons and some GPC Menthol ciggerettes. Just then Stacy barges in wearing a bellyshirt, skirt, and GLASSES OF EXTREME SERIOUSNESS*

Stacy: Now wait just a minute here! Mark you can not go plotting to treat these women like sex pieces, it is wrong and distasteful! Not only that but inter-racial relationships?! I will not allow it!*Stacy smacks the tub of Bon-Bons out of Mark's hands, scattering the delicious little brown reats everywhere*

Mollycita and Trishelle in unison: Oh no you didn't! *they begin giving Stacy over hand rights until she's dazed and then GIANT ETHNIC ASS PANCAKE OF DOOM squishing Stacy and sending her to the floor*

(Fade to commercial)
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Guest_Anglesault_*
post Feb 21 2004, 08:12 PM
Post #46





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QUOTE(NY Untouchable @ Feb 21 2004, 08:35 PM)
QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:33 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 05:12 PM)
QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:08 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 04:35 PM)
This angle really needs Jazz to play the overly simple American Indian.

Personally, I think we need Stacy to play the stereo-typical blond high school girl too. She can start the rumors that lead to all the diva fights! Gold~!

Damnit chick! The whole idea is to make her something completely different from her current character.

Oh, okay.


Stacy as the intelligence, feminist that doesn't stand for women being disgraced as eye-candy? She's woman, hear her roar!

Stacy can be the evil white woman that stands in the way of the racial equality that Trish and Molly dream of.

That should be Gail Kim.
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Guest_FrigidSoul_*
post Feb 21 2004, 08:15 PM
Post #47





Guests






QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 08:53 PM)
QUOTE(NY Untouchable @ Feb 21 2004, 08:35 PM)
QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:33 PM)

Stacy as the intelligence, feminist that doesn't stand for women being disgraced as eye-candy? She's woman, hear her roar!

Stacy can be the evil white woman that stands in the way of the racial equality that Trish and Molly dream of.

That should be Gail Kim.

AngleSault we are trying to make a deep and fruitful storyline, not set up the women wrestlers for injuries thanks to Gail Kim's blown arm drags. Maybe I'm a little more pationate than you, but she isn't ready for this kind of limelight.
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CanadianChick
post Feb 21 2004, 08:22 PM
Post #48





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QUOTE(FrigidSoul @ Feb 21 2004, 05:56 PM)
QUOTE(Anglesault @ Feb 21 2004, 08:53 PM)
QUOTE(NY Untouchable @ Feb 21 2004, 08:35 PM)
QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 08:33 PM)

Stacy as the intelligence, feminist that doesn't stand for women being disgraced as eye-candy? She's woman, hear her roar!

Stacy can be the evil white woman that stands in the way of the racial equality that Trish and Molly dream of.

That should be Gail Kim.

AngleSault we are trying to make a deep and fruitful storyline, not set up the women wrestlers for injuries thanks to Gail Kim's blown arm drags. Maybe I'm a little more pationate than you, but she isn't ready for this kind of limelight.

Jacquline then?
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EdwardKnoxII
post Feb 21 2004, 08:24 PM
Post #49





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Well I love Victoria now I didn't really like her at face because of her face. I mean have you seen her nose? It takes up more the half her face. It's about as big HHH's. But, I like it now it gives her a good look.
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NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 08:24 PM
Post #50


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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QUOTE(CanadianChick @ Feb 21 2004, 09:03 PM)
QUOTE
AngleSault we are trying to make a deep and fruitful storyline, not set up the women wrestlers for injuries thanks to Gail Kim's blown arm drags. Maybe I'm a little more pationate than you, but she isn't ready for this kind of limelight.

Jacquline then?

We're getting way ahead of ourselves here. We shouldn't be pushing so far ahead when some of these storylines haven't been set yet.

Besides, Jacqueline will be the black militant girl that tries to get Trish to stop talking to Molly and all the other non-African American women in WWE. She'll constantly mention Malcolm X and preach to Trish about fighting Whitey and "that caviar shit they always seem to be eatin"
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Lord of The Curr...
post Feb 21 2004, 09:13 PM
Post #51


I roll with groups and ghetto bastards with biscuits


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Ok, that is fucking IT.

I have STOOD BY and been offended, scared, shocked and mortified by what is going on here.

And now............Curry's gonna get him some!

But mine is a different tale. Continue..............if you dare. *Thunder, lightening, devlish laugh*

*Backstage at recent Smackdown! taping, a young Orlando Jordan sits and watches last night's episode of RAW, mesmerized by what he sees.*

Orlando: Christ on a cracker, that is a mo'fuckin BOOT. Yeah, yeah, I like dat.

* Orlando freeze-frames the TV on a shot of Trish's ass. Stands up and pulls down tights.*

Orlando: Now it's time for Lil Orlando to get him some play, nahm'sayin?

*Knock on the door.*

Orlando: Awwwwww shit! Hold the fuck up, yo! *Pulls up tights*

*Door opens and in walks Kidman and Paul London*

Orlando: Word.

London: Hey dude.

Kidman: 'Sup.

*Kidman and London notice the gargantuan ass of epic proportions, frozen on the TV screen. *

Kidman: What the fuck is THAT?

Orlando: Mickey Dee's, foo.

*Kidman and London stare blankly*

Orlando: Golden Arches?

Kidman: Looks more like a huge ass to me! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

*Tumbleweed rolls by*

Kidman: Motherfuck!

London: Yo, seriously Orlando, what's the deal?

Orlando: The deal, my friends, is that I've found my calling in life. That sweet, succulent, mouth-watering ass will be mine one day. Oh yes, it will be mine.

Kidman: Snap out of it, man. Trish is on RAW, we're on Smackdown.

London: Yeah, and plus, we've got some pretty hot women here.

Orlando: I ain't feelin' them.

London: Sable?

Orlando: Old enough to be my grandmammy.

London: Nidia?

Orlando: *Shudders* That's a wreck-up from the neck up.

London: Steph?

Orlando: Beat-up from the feet up.

London: Dawn-Marie?

Orlando: Oh.......are you fuckin shittin me cracka? That bitch has been in ECW. Ain't no tellin' how many times D'Von gave her 10 inches of black-

London: Ok! I get the picture. Torrie Wilson?

Orlando: Pffffff. That bitch is a robot.

*London turns, shocked and looks at Kidman*

Kidman: *Shrugs* It's true.

London: Whatevs. Come on Kid, our tag match is coming up.

Kidman: Who we facing?

London: I dunno. Some OVW scum. Travis something and this other guy Kevin.

Kidman: Well, hold on a minute. Air Jordan, if this is your life calling, how you gonna pull it off? She's on RAW, remember?

Orlando: Simple. I'm gonna ask to be transferred to RAW.

*Dramatic music*

Will Orlando succeed in his whacky scheme to jump to RAW? Tune in and find out, whenever I feel like posting another one these.
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Guest_FrigidSoul_*
post Feb 21 2004, 09:30 PM
Post #52





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You can't say naughty words on UPN!
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RavishingRickRud...
post Feb 21 2004, 09:44 PM
Post #53





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*Trish Stratus comes out of her 1987 Tan Monte Carlo and walks toward the arena*

JR: Oh, and I guess now we're seeing WWE Diva of the Decade Trish Stratus arriving on the scene. Bah Gawd that's a huge ass. Howdya suppose that happened, King? King? GOOD GOD King, what are you doing?!

King: Um...

JR: For the love of... Jerry, are you tanning yourself while we're on air?

King: Well..

JR: I'm tellin ya King, you're going to get skin cancer if you keep it up.

King: I just want to look my best for the Dark Princess of RAW.

JR: Fer Cryin out loud, Trish Stratus is not a 50 year old Black Woman. She's dilusional! She needs mental help! She needs...

King: About 4 inches of Memphis Grade-A recently-tanned pork inside her! Whoo hoo!

JR: Sonnofabitch! King, will you cut that out! We've got a match to call!

*"Bailamos" by Enrique Iglesias plays as Molly Holly makes her way to the ring. She is yelling at the fans about them not knowing her and giving them the hand.*

JR: And now, Molly Holly. A mid-western girl with Latin roots... or so she says.

King: Oh that posterior is definitely south of the border JR!

JR: Well, in any case, this 'transformation' has certainly given ol Molly quite the temper and quite the set of fake nails.

King: Could you imagine those things across a chalk board? Or better yet, gripped around my..

JR: I shudder to think.

*Molly gets on the mic*

Molly: You knooow, I'm 'ere on RAW e-and I don't think you people know me! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! Quit talkin like you know me, Okaaay? Because if you deed, you would know that I am thee best weemans wrestler on thees rosta. Now hold my baby, cause ees papi ain't around no longer. *Molly hands her baby over to referee Chad Patton.*

*"Time, Love and Tenderness" by Michael Bolton plays*

JR: What the...?

*Victoria comes out in blue track pants, tennis shoes, and a vomit-stained white t-shirt that says "Portland Ball-Hockey Association" on it. Her hair is messed up with a pin in it and she has no make up on.*

King: What.. uh... what happened to Victoria?

JR: I guess she's been listening to Dr Phil and getting in touch with who she really is... I guess?

King: She was a lot hotter before.

JR: Well, she still kinda is...

King: JR!

JR: I'm sorry King, I guess this ol Sooner digs the simplified approach.

King: Oh god.

JR: Hey, I'm not the one wearing 10 pounds of gold chains around his neck.

King: HEY! These are for street cred!

JR: Well whatever, hopefully we'll get to see some great in-ring action from these normally great female wrestlers.

*Victoria gets ready for battle while Molly is spraying her hair*

*Suddenly, over the PA* "Mommy? Mommy? Where are you mommy?"

*Victoria looks to the Titan Tron and sees Stevie Richards dressed 10 sizes too small carrying around a blanket.*

Stevie: Did you see my Mommy? She's big and she has black hair and...

*Victoria runs out of the ring*

JR: Oh dear god... please don't tell me.

*Victoria runs and finds Stevie and hugs him and sheds a few tears and holds him up against her breast*

Victoria: It's ok Stevie baby, Mommy's here.

JR: Oh christ, this is starting to get sick. King... KING?

King: Even I'm disgusted by this JR... sweet jesus...

*A shot of Stevie smiling while being carried out in the arms of Victoria and then a commercial*

RRR: Raising the Bar of Offensiveness.
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NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 09:49 PM
Post #54


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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What has been lost in this so far is the fact that some $MONEY MATCHES$ can be grown from these angles. WrestleMania is coming up......there are some crossover matches happening.....let's make the biggest one of them all!!

TRISH VS SABLE
-Oh Joy, it's over Playboy!

RAW:

*Trish is sitting on her plastic-covered couch in the locker room. She's braiding her blond hair with multi-colored Jamaican beads, allowing them to flow down her neck. Her purple, flower-adorned dress makes full notice of the fact that she is wearing a DD cup. She pushes her breasts together, then wipes the top of her brow. She pulls out a paper fan and starts waving it in her face, relieved at the appearance of a cool breeze. Eric Bischoff walks into the room and Trish gets a wide smile on her face*

Trish - Oh lordy, Mr. Bischoff, how you be darlin?

Bischoff - Fine, er Trish, we have a problem.

Trish - A problem? Oh suga, I hope it ain't serious.

Bischoff - It may be, a little bit.

Trish - Oh god, what can it be? I.....boy, is it hot in here? It feels hot in here. Look at me, sweatin like a pig. Man, I feel like I be sweatin Crisco or somethin. Boy, it just like when I grew up back in Alabama. I get up in the mornin, around a quarter after five, to milk the cows. I walk to the farm and the sun be risin, oh lordy, it was hot. That sun be beatin on my brow fo sure. Well, I go to milk the cow and sometimes, the milk come out all nice and creamy, ya know? But sometimes, the milk be all sour like sumthin spooked them cows or somethin over the night. I don't know, it was like a mystery or sumthin. Well, one night, I wanted to see what spooked them cows. So I dressed up like a chicken and sat in the barn. Boy, then I....

Bischoff - Trish. No. We'll talk about that later, sweetie.

Trish - Oh Bischoff, you such a good cracka, you know dat?

Bischoff - Thanks, sugar dumpling. Anyway, the problem has to do with Hugh Heffner. I called him about you wanting to do Playboy....

Trish - Oh sweet Jesus, I sure do want to do that there Playboy. I think it would be good for the rasslin business if there was a black wrestler in there posin for pretty pictures. Lord, imagine if I wore those cornrows and put them over my sweet boobies. It'd be sweet, baby.

Bischoff - Well, see, Hugh said he's not interested right now. He found some other WWE woman to be in Playboy.

Trish - Other woman? He be trippin, boy! What did that ol' wrinkly grape say?

Bischoff - Well, he asked Sable to pose in Playboy.

Trish - Sable? That skank with the plastic nose and the stick up her big ol' tight butt? Does Hugh know what he's missin with me not there?

Bischoff - I tried telling him about your succulent posterior, but he said he wasn't interested.

Trish - Oh lord, I'm gonna have to go convince him then. With bad corns and all....oh lord, my feet ache. My old, creaky knees just ain't what they used to be. But I gonna go see Hugh soon and show him exactly what brought all the boys to Montgomery back in the day. Boy, this Jell-O costed a pretty penny back then.

Bischoff - I can imagine. *licks lips*

Trish - But first, I gonna carve me a piece of that skank ass on Smackdown. Eric, I be seein you later. *Trish slowly lifts herself off the couch* Oh boy, I gots to get me that new Ab-Flex or somethin. Gots to be workin out, get back to my fightin weight.

Bischoff - Wait, Trish, before you go, can I get a kiss?

Trish - Oh, of course, my sweetie pie with vanilla frosting.

*Trish grabs Bischoff and gives him a forceful kiss. His body seems to be getting lost in her massive mumu, but telling from his face, he's clearly enjoying it. Finally, Trish pushes him in the couch to the sounds of crinkling plastic. She walks out of the room as the camera zooms in on Bischoff with a big smile on his face*

Bischoff - .....*sigh*......I just never tasted gumbo quite so delicious.

.........

.........just WHAT will happen when "Woman of the South" Trish Stratus encounters Sable? You DON'T want to miss this!
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Guest_FrigidSoul_*
post Feb 21 2004, 09:55 PM
Post #55





Guests






PPV Card

"Trishelle" vs Sable
"Mollycita" vs Victoria w/ Pee Wee Soccer MVP little Steven Richards
Huck Hardy vs Mark Henry

*sniff, sniff* you smell that? Smells like ratings to me
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RavishingRickRud...
post Feb 21 2004, 10:36 PM
Post #56





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From: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Member No.: 676



*Chris Jericho calls up Trish Stratus on the phone. Jericho has yet to see the "new" Trish. The screen is spit in two while both talk on the phone. Jericho with a cell, Trish with a green desk phone with a rotating dial.*

Trish: Hello, Miss Wonderful Trish Stratus on the phone, talk is cheap unless you callin co-lect and then it's a FORtune! *giggles* Who is dis?

Chris: Um, it's me Trish.

Trish: Is this Chris Jer-i-cho? Oh my, whattayou callin me fo shug?

Chris: Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for a quick bite to eat. I was talking to Christian and he said that I had to see you, in person. He didn't really say anything else.

Trish: Oh that Christian.. Can you believe that lil white boy ran out of my dressing room in a huff of smoke goin on about bein tired and it was only 7 o'clock in the evening? Now, I know I gotsta get my beauty sleep but I can't get to sleep until I gets to see my stories on the teevee. I swear, that new show the OC, I don't get all them rich white peoples problems but I love seein them all get mad and frustrated and gone crazy *giggles*, I tell you boy, you people can be funny sometimes!

Chris: Um, right. Anyways, I was thinkin maybe we'd meet at Lache's? It's a new french restaurant on the waterfront. They serve some great seafood.

Trish: Oh I don't like seafood Chris, it gives me the gases. I say we go to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles!

Chris: Roscoes?

Trish: Mmmhmm.

Chris: Sure, why not? I thought you didn't eat high calorie food Trish?

Trish: Oh, I'm always on a diet baby, but you know, I swear I'm gonna do somethin next week to really get in shape. Oh I'm a mess aren't I?

Chris: Well, the last time I saw you you were quite beautiful, really.

Trish: Oh you charmer! You're a charmer aren't you! You a real sweettalker oh my. *Starts to breathe heavy* I swear chile, it just got real hot in here. Whew. When you wanna meet up?

Chris: How about in a half hour?

Trish: Alright by me. I see you theen.

Chris: Ok, see you then.

*Click*

*Beep*

*50 minutes later*

*Jericho is sitting patiently at Roscoes C&W as he sees a 1987 Tan Monte Carlo pull up.* *He giggles to himself at the sight of the old car* *He sees a familiar face get out of the car and enter the building. She stumbles over her heels and fixes her hair and puts on some red lipstick* *He sees her enter and ask a waiter a question and he points directly at Jericho* *Jericho's eyes open wide as Trish walks up and waves*

Jericho: Uh, TRISH?

Trish: That's right, dumplin. Live and in the flesh. Oh, you must be wonderin why I'm late. Well, my third chile James, well he gone got himself a new girlfriend named Kaylee. He brought her over and introduced her to me and she turns out to be some white girl from the other side of town. Now, I ain't a racist or nothin but I just lost my head and kicked both of them out. I swear, I needed some time to recover and I didn't even think I could drive over here I was so mad.

Jericho: You have a son?

Trish: 5, actually. There's Larry - the oldest, he wants to be a fireman -, Leroy - he is a store manager of a jack-in-the-box, he makes me so proud - James - who got himself some rich cracka and I never want to see him again but I love him still - Marvin - a trouble maker but he means well - and Michael -the baby, he's still in school, I had him 15 years ago and it only seems like yesterday! *Trish puffs up hair* Oh look at me, I'm doin all the talkin when you were the one who asked me out. *Giggles* Now what did you want Mr. Chistopher?

Jericho: Well, uh, I, uh, um...

*Waiter walks up*

Waiter: Can I take your order?

Jericho: YES! Yes you can! Yes indeed! YES! Thank god. Um, Trish, why don't you order first...

Trish: Well, I, hmm, let me see I never got to take a look at the menu, so lemme look here.

*Trish looks over the menu for 10 minutes while the Waiter and Jericho look on in awe*

Trish: Ok, I'll have STYMIES CHOICE, extra giblets, I want the grits on it's own plate, and if you could, could you save the biscuit for later. *Turns to Jericho* Michael just loves the biscuits and asked me to bring him home one! I swear that chile is growin up so fast he libel to be a pro rassler himself some day like his momma!

Jericho: Um, yeah. I'll have a glass of water, I sorta lost my... Um... I'll have the water.

*Meals arrive*

*Trish pulls a spray bottle full of hot sauce out of her purse and begins to spray the chicken and eggs with it*

Trish: My doctor says I shouldn't eat spicy food, but you can't tell a bird she can't fly! It just doesn't work like that. Now, you never got around to what you were goin to tell me, so don't hush up on me now sweetpea cause I know them pretty lips want to be movin.

Jericho: Uuuuuuh..

Trish: Well just say it!

Jericho: Uuum, yeah... well... *his face lights up and he smiles* *he takes a deep breath* Christian really likes you Trish, and I think that it's best that I don't come between you two. You know? I mean, it'll just get complicated and I think you two are best for each other. He really does like you a lot Trish, and he'd be a great father to those boys of yours.

*A loud "SONNOFABITCH* is heard from the booth next to them. A man in a black trenchcoat and tweet cap with sunglasses on gets up and leaves muttering something about a big ass to himself*

*Jericho smiles as Trish contemplates her new admirer Christian*
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Conspiracy_Victi...
post Feb 21 2004, 10:59 PM
Post #57


I can't think of anything, sorry


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From: Houston Texas, United States, planet Earth, Milky Way galaxy
Member No.: 2,798



QUOTE(RavishingRickRudo @ Feb 21 2004, 10:25 PM)
*"Time, Love and Tenderness" by Michael Bolton plays*

JR: What the...?

*Victoria comes out in blue track pants, tennis shoes, and a vomit-stained white t-shirt that says "Portland Ball-Hockey Association" on it.  Her hair is messed up with a pin in it and she has no make up on.*

King: What.. uh... what happened to Victoria?

JR: I guess she's been listening to Dr Phil and getting in touch with who she really is... I guess?

King: She was a lot hotter before.

JR: Well, she still kinda is...

King: JR!

JR: I'm sorry King, I guess this ol Sooner digs the simplified approach.

King: Oh god.

JR: Hey, I'm not the one wearing 10 pounds of gold chains around his neck.

King: HEY!  These are for street cred!

JR: Well whatever, hopefully we'll get to see some great in-ring action from these normally great female wrestlers.

*Victoria gets ready for battle while Molly is spraying her hair*

*Suddenly, over the PA* "Mommy?  Mommy?  Where are you mommy?"

*Victoria looks to the Titan Tron and sees Stevie Richards dressed 10 sizes too small carrying around a blanket.*

Stevie:  Did you see my Mommy?  She's big and she has black hair and...

*Victoria runs out of the ring*

JR: Oh dear god... please don't tell me.

*Victoria runs and finds Stevie and hugs him and sheds a few tears and holds him up against her breast*

Victoria: It's ok Stevie baby, Mommy's here.

JR: Oh christ, this is starting to get sick.  King... KING?

King: Even I'm disgusted by this JR... sweet jesus...

*A shot of Stevie smiling while being carried out in the arms of Victoria and then a commercial*

RRR: Raising the Bar of Offensiveness.

This sounds like how Beaver Cleavage would've ended up.

I wish I had enough brain cells firing at the moment to continue these fine booking ideas, but alas I'm tired and more than a little drunk. So, to sum up our cast of players:

Molly = Latina Heat
Trish = Aunt Jemima the wrestler
Vicky = COPS material white trash mother
Stacy = armipt haired-birkenstock wearing Liz Phair Tour attending feminazi
Torrie = Terminatrix
Jazz = hmmm...Proper English maiden perhaps?
Sable = reserved librarian?
Nidia = I'll go female Canadian lumberjack with this one
Gail Kim = female Dean Malenko
Dawn Marie = MENSA scholar and agressive executive

Who am I missing?

Edit: Oh yes Miss Jackie. How about the founder of the new RTC? *shiver* ugh maybe not.
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NYU
post Feb 21 2004, 11:12 PM
Post #58


Our bullpen fucking sucks.


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Trish could also be a popular marketing symbol as well.

.......

*COMMERCIAL*

Mom: Kids, I made you some pancakes. Hurry up and eat or you'll miss the bus.

Kid #1: These pancakes suck!

Kid #2: Yeah mom, they suck almost as much as your cookies!

Mom: *gasp* KIDS!! Honey, say something to them.

Dad: Kids, we made a deal. We would never tell your mom how terribly dry and tasteless her pancakes are. Now shove that trash into your mouth so you can get out of this suffocating house.

Both kids: NO!

*Trish walks in, her hips shaking and her braids scattering over her face*

Trish: Honey, I gots the perfect answer for your problems, suga. Try my maple syrup!

Dad: Maple syrup?!

Trish: Why, of course, sweetcakes. I use da finest ingredients dis side of the Mississippi. It's all fortified with those vitamins and stuff that will make your bones hard and really STICK to yo' ribs! Try some, will ya?!

*Kids squeeze the syrup onto their pancakes*

Kid #1: Mmmm....these are great.

Kid #2: It's like there's an orgy in my mouth, and it's all thanks to Trish.

Dad: Wow honey, this syrup almost makes your cooking taste good.

Mom: Trish, I can't thank you enough. Where can I buy this magical product?

Trish: Girl, between me and you, "Trish's Bootylicious Syrup" is sold at the nearest supermarket between you.

*JR walks on screen*

JR: And by gawd, if you buy Trish's Bootylicious Syrup, you get a free bottle of JR Barbecue Sauce. It's enough to make you stand up and scream "SLAP A BIB ON ME CAUSE I'M READY TO SHOVE DELICIOUS, BARBECUED RIBS IN MY MOUTH, BY GAWD!! WHAT A MARINADE!!"

Mom: Syrup for breakfast......barbecue sauce for dinner.....you WWE superstars really are something! Have you considered starting your own football league?!

*Everyone laughs*

Trish: Girl, you are the living end!! Tell your hubby he can be my baby's daddy anytime!!

Mom: Thanks again, Trish!


......Just imagine the kind of money they could get from "Trish's Bootylicious Syrup"
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Karc
post Feb 21 2004, 11:18 PM
Post #59





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Joined: 10-September 03
Member No.: 4,039



I miss Victoria the psycho....
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AndrewTS
post Feb 21 2004, 11:22 PM
Post #60


Conflict Resolved


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Posts: 21,810
Joined: 16-July 02
Member No.: 2,289



"Gail Kim = female Dean Malenko"

Close, but she needs more. She will proudly proclaim her Jewish heritage and make it a central part of her gimmick, as she comes to the ring to Jewish folk music, pats herself on the back, campaigns on behalf of Lieberman, and attempts to use Trishelle and Mollycita in her favor as she uses her control of the media to hold down the rest of the division.

"Edit: Oh yes Miss Jackie. How about the founder of the new RTC? *shiver* ugh maybe not."

Naw, she'll be a Muslim woman who wrestles in thick robes that cover her entire body except for her eyes, and after every botched move she blesses her opponent and praises Allah she hasn't killed anyone yet.
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