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The Very First Smart Marks News Update!

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Guest TSMAdmin

The First EVER Smart Marks News Update!

 

Hello, one and all, and welcome to the first ever Smart Marks News Update! I'm your host, Byron Vester(thumbs up, cheap pop)! Well tonight, the WWF has really been getting ganged up on by practically EVERYBODY lately, much like the Dallas Mavericks in Saturday's Game 1(WHOOO-HA!). To be honest though, I like both teams, so it pains me to see them collide like this when the Lakers are the REAL Enemy. As far as the East goes, they are dog meat not matter what, although I really do like the Hornets as an upset team coming out of there.

 

With that being said, ON WITH THE NEWS!

 

 

WWF WRESTLERS CAUSE COMMOTION DURING FLIGHT

 

"To follow up on our earlier report about the WWF's plane ride back from England, while details are still sketchy, it appears that at least part of the problem on the plane ride home from England, with the Raw group, involved some of the wrestlers "getting wild and out of hand". What made it worse was that Jim Ross, Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, who are all considered office, were on the plane so what happened is well known by the bosses. It would not surprise me to hear about some form of disciplinary action being taken, but that is just speculation at this time. I will have more on it as it comes in."

 

(Man, you'd think that professionals would know how to conduct themselves in a public enviroment, but this IS wrestling we're speaking of here, so what can you do? Also, it's pretty funny that Triple H is considered "office", but I'll just leave that to the conspirators for now.)

 

 

SPIDER-MAN BITCHSMACKS THE SCORPION KING ON OPENING WEEKEND

 

"With the huge box office debut of the long awaited "Spider-Man" feature film this weekend, the Rock's starring vehicle, "The Scorpion King" lost 47 percent of its previous weekend's audience, according to the E! Network's website, earning just $9.6 million. In comparison, the "Spider-Man" film starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunce, and Willem DaFoe grossed an amazing $114 million gross to set a new opening weekend record. "Scorpion King" still ranked second for the total weekend box office.

 

That is impressive as Spider-Man's oppressive grip on the box office extended to all other films that opened this weekend. The gang drama "Deuces Wild" and the latest Woody Allen comedy "Hollywood Ending" weren't even able to crack the top five films of the weekend. As if "The Scorpion King" didn't have enough competition already, on 5/16, "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones" is slated for release with a huge marketing campaign already underway.

 

Thanks to Richard Ginn for sending along those numbers as well."

 

(Well, it was pretty much expected, but 114 million? GODDAMN! I also expect(as well as many others apparently) for Episode 2 to kick The Scorpion King's ass too, but when it's all said and done, Rocky did it and no one can take it away from him.)

 

 

THE FINAL TOUGH ENOUGH EPISODE

 

"The final episode of WWF Tough Enough 2 will air on MTV on Thursday 5/30 at 10 PM Eastern. Like the series finale of Tough Enough 1, the show will be a mix of the final days of the cast's training mixed with live cutaways to WWF New York for the announcement of the two winners of WWF deals.

 

For those of you in the New York area, you will be able to attend the final episode at WWF New York, which will be coupled with the usual airing of Smackdown at the restaurant. There will be a $10 cover charge for the event.

 

WWF.com already has details on how to make a submission to become a cast member of the forthcoming Tough Enough 3."

 

(Well, it seems that we are doomed to see another season of this cryfest. Here's a hint, guys: Pick people who aren't emtional retards. I don't want to watch a bunch of babies cry about relationships and all that shit. IT'S A FUCKING CONTEST! Y'know, I wish Taker HAD visited the house like he said on Byte This! a while back. That cast NEEDED a serious ass-kicking.)

 

 

NBC MOCKS THE XFL FAILURE

 

"NBC presented their 75th Anniversary special tonight, and Vince McMahon was a part of it. Unfortunately for Vince, it had nothing to do with Saturday Night's Main Event.

 

During a segment devoted to "mistakes" made by the network over the years, footage was shown of the XFL. Specifically, McMahon was shown welcoming fans to the first XFL game, a clip was aired of "He Hate Me" (remember him?), and a shot of XFL cheerleaders while Jerry Lawler commented about it being the "land of milk and honey's" was shown.

 

It appears NBC can look back on the multi-million dollar football flop and laugh. Wonder if the WWFE can do the same."

 

(Well, it's Vince McMahon we're talking about here. Like he's going to have a good laugh over failing in another of his stupid side projects like the WBF. If anything, Vince is probably planning on starting another "Kiss My Ass" Club just so he can induct Dick Enbersol(sp?)...)

 

 

5/5 SMACKDOWN! ROSTER HOUSE SHOW RESULTS

 

"Thanks to Dave Fournier for these WWE results: (It's going to seem very strange writing WWE after writing WWF for so many years. They have already turned the WWF.com site to WWE.com site along with a new Logo.)

 

May 5th - Centrum Centre in Worcester, MA where they had the Smackdown crew house show. There was very little advertising to let people know about this event and the turnout showed that. The attendance was very poor considering that Hogan was on the card against Jericho. The entire upper deck and most of the balcony was empty and many of the lower sections were empty as well with a few floor seats being empty as well.

 

Here are the results:

 

WWF Title Match

Hollywood Hulk Hogan def Chris Jericho. Typical Hogan match ending with the big comeback, big boot and legdrop for the win. Crowd was mostly only there to see Hogan and Hogan only. After the match Hogan spent a ton of time posing for the fans and the crowd ate it up. No DQ!

 

Kurt Angle defeated Edge with the angle slam

 

Tazz choked out D’Von

 

Test beat Rikishi after Christian interfered

 

Tag Team Championship Match!

Billy and Chuck w/Rico retained their titles beating Maven and AL Snow

 

Cruiserweight Championship Match!

Tajiri beat Billy Kidman. One of the best matches of the night. These guys worked hard.

 

Mark Henry and Hugh Morrus beat Albert and Godfather

 

Randy Orton rolled up Hardcore Holly in a small package for the win

 

Chavo Guerrero and Lance Storm beat Hurricane and Funaki. Funaki wore the Hurricane face paint.

 

Swimsuit Challenge!

Torrie Wilson won the swimsuit challenge beating. Ivory and Stacy Keibler. Ivory before hand said she would not participate but Stacy got on the mic and told her that she is Mr. McMahon's personal assistant and that she will participate. The challenge begin with Ivory going first as Torrie and Stacy rippped the robe off of her. Ivory quickly retreated to the locker room leaving Torrie and Stacy. Stacy was next then Torrie. Then they asked the fans to vote by cheering. It seemed to me that it was pretty even but Torrie was announced as the winner.

 

An ok show just average action in most cases. The above match results are not in the order they happened as I really don't remember the exact order. The WWF needs to go back to announce house show lineups and doing more than the live event teasers on WWF TV for these events as I think that was a big reason for the poor turnout. It was unreal how empty the building was."

 

(This could be bad... very bad. If house shows drop to WCW-level of attendence, it'll be a LOOOONG year for the WWE.)

 

 

3PW ANNOUNCES FIRST EVER 3-WAY "BODY BAG" MATCH

 

"Saturday Night May 18th @ The South Philadelphia Viking Hall (on the corner of Swanson and Ritner Street) - 3PW is happy to announce that not only will they be hosting the first ever 3 Way Body Bag match with Sabu Vs. Sandman Vs. New Jack with special guest ref Tod Gordon. May 18th will also mark the return of wrestling's "Hardcore Hoodies" THE PUBLIC ENEMY to the Philadelphia!!! "FlyBoy" Rocco Roc and Johnny Grunge are returning to Philly and are calling all contenders to step up to TPE! Furniture and fists will fly when The Public Enemy come home!!

 

Headlining the May 18 - 3PW event will be the FIRST EVER 3 way BODYBAG MATCH!! Squaring off will be "The Hardcore Icon" The Sandman Vs. "The Original Gangsta" New Jack Vs. The Most Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal maniac SABU!!!!. 3 man with no fear of pain or danger will try to render each other unconscious and stuff each other into a Body Bag to be the winner. This match will also be marked by a special appearance by TOD GORDON as special guest referee!!! 3 Hardcore Heroes will face off in a first ever 3 way encounter with the pioneer of the hardcore revolution, Tod Gordon call the shots! All of this taking place in the confines of the building they made famous!!

 

Meet The Blue Meanie and Jasmin St. Claire on Friday, May 10th at Disc Go Round between 4 - 6:30 at 219 South St. There will be Polaroid's, 8x10's and you will be able to purchase tickets for the May 18 - 3PW Viking Hall event in South Philadelphia which is headlined by Sabu vs. Sandman vs. New Jack in a first ever 3 Way Body Bag match! With each purchase of a ticket comes a free personally signed 8x10! Also at this signing you can have a chance to win a dinner with The Blue Meanie and Jasmin that will take place after the signing!!

 

Speaking of Jasmin St. Claire. Jasmin will be involved in a special attraction EVENING GOWN MATCH!! She will be tying it up with Miss Candie and the winner is the one who strips her opponent down to bra and panties!! There will be a raffle all evening for the gown that is to be torn off to the lucky winner!!

 

A new section has been added to www.3PWrestling.com in the form of Pro Perv Pics. The first installment is with the Queen of Perv Pics herself, Jasmin St. Claire!! The section will be updated frequently with other 3PW Beauties such as Allison Danger, Miss Candie and Gorgeous George!!

 

Bus Trip tickets for the New York trip to the May 18th show are going fast!! Space is limited so get you spot while you still can! ESPN radio and Rock Fanasty still have a few tickets left. To get your tickets you can contact Jason Barrett through No Holds Barred Wrestling (http://www.noholdsbarredwrestling.com) by calling 845-471-1500 ext. 124 ask for Jason Barrett

 

You can also call or go to:

Rock Fantasy

75 Main St.

Middletown, NY

1-845-343-7300.

 

For the Manhattan Stop of the of the ESPN Radio New York bus trip to the South Philly Viking Hall, contact Brian Trash at [email protected]

 

The ESPN radio bus trip schedule goes as follows:

 

1) 1-1:20pm @ The Mid Hudson Civic Center, 14 Civic Center Plaza Poughkeepsie, NY

 

2) 2-2:20pm @ Rock Fantasy, 75 Main St., Middletown, NY 1-845-343-7300.

 

3) 3-3:20pm @ 42nd St. Between 8th & 9th (directly across from Port Authority)

 

The bus will be arriving at the Viking Hall at 5pm for an EXCLUSIVE meet & greet with the 3PW wrestlers in the arena.

 

The following prices include the cost of the show and bus to the May 18 show:

Ringside ticket w/bus fare- $45

General admission w/bus fare- $35.00.

 

That's Saturday Night May 18th at the South Philadelphia Viking Hall on the corner of Swanson and Ritner!! Belltime 8pm!

 

3 Way Body Bag Match

 

Sabu Vs. Sandman Vs. New Jack

Special Guest Referee Tod Gordon

 

The Public Enemy make the Philadelphia Return!!!

 

A Special evening gown match between Jasmin St. Claire and Miss Candie!!

 

Also scheduled to appear:

 

"The Pitbull" Gary Wolfe, The Blue Meanie /Jasmin St. Claire, Joey Matthews, Christian York, Colt Cabana, Chris Hero, Kevin Knight, Dylan Knight w/ Miss Candie and much more.

 

*Card Subject to Change

 

This is shaping up to be a strong card so DON'T miss out!! Get you tickets at the following outlets.

 

Noise Pollution

619 S. 4th St. (4th & South St.)

Philadelphia, PA

215 - 627 - 7246

 

and

 

The Ontario Street

Comic Book Store

2235 E. Ontario Street

Philadelphia, PA

215 - 288 - 7338

 

You can also purchase tickets on line via PayPal, by going to www.3PWrestling.com. 3PW Infoline: 866 - 228 - 0326"

 

(Nothing like a stupid ass stip match with three washed-up, useless hacks and a narc for a guest ref to REALLY make all those bitter ECW fanatics feel at home. Hell, they even get to meet a bitchy, worn out pornstar and her whipped dog of a man, too. SIGN ME UP TODAY!!!!! Sigh....)

 

 

SIX STRIKES AND HALL'S OUT

 

As a follow up to what Bob Ryder reported on Scott Hall's release by WWE, I heard from a few sources that Hall was partying in "Animal House" like fashion over the weekend. It got so bad that he actually fell asleep backstage at the UK PPV, during the show. I was told that the decision to let him go was 90% made yesterday morning, and when Hall showed up at TV at less than 100%, it sealed the deal.

 

(Again, WHY THE FUCK DID THEY TAKE SO LONG? Shit, there are gas stations that fire people quicker than the WWE does...)

 

 

EXCUSES FOR CRAPPY RAW CONTINUE

 

The word I got backstage from Raw was that due to company having shows in England over the weekend, including a PPV, the writing team was still putting the show together late at TV yesterday afternoon, which probably had something to do with the quality of the broadcast.

 

From what I was told, the general feeling backstage was that the night was pretty much of a disaster for WWE. Edge is listed as the tentative guest on Byte This on Friday at WWE.com. I heard from a few people that the personal situation that Bubba Ray Dudley was dealing with last week has greatly improved, which is good to hear.

 

(They must be expecting some sort of sympathy for putting on such garbage, but I'll be damned if I'll cut 'em some slack. They knew ahead of time that they would be doing RAW after an UK PPV, so it should have been booked ahead of time. It's called planning ahead, guys... read up on it sometime.)

 

 

THE ANIMAL LOVERS AREN'T SATISFIED JUST YET...

 

Thanks to Chris Yandek for the following: The WWF loosing their trademark to the World Wildlife Fund and changing to WWE was mentioned on the final seconds of ESPN Pardon The Interruption. The comments were "Who cares about the World Wildlife Fund?" Meanwhile, it appears the World Wildlife Fund is not totally satisfied with their victory, mentioning that they were hoping the WWE would go with an even more "distinct" name, to avoid confusion with their organization. Thanks to John Feltham for sending the following. WWF's legal action against World Wrestling Federation Entertainment, Inc.: Statement following the wrestlers' announced name change

 

5/07/02 10:53am

 

LONDON, England, May 7 /CNW/ - News that the World Wrestling Federation Entertainment Inc. have changed their name and logo in light of recent court action has been received with surprise by WWF, the conservation organization. This unilateral move comes when an application to appeal to the House of Lords by the Wrestlers' is still pending. Yesterday the World Wrestling Federation announced that it was changing its name to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., as well as altering its scratch logo and website domain name - both of which were subject to the case brought by WWF. Paul Steele, Chief Operating Officer for WWF International said: "The fact that the Wrestlers have taken this action is an acknowledgement that the proposed appeal has little chance of success. However WWF was expecting that they would opt for a more distinct name change that would put 'clear water' between our two organizations, to quote one of the judges in the recent court action. We are still considering the implications of this move as the earth's natural environment relies on the public's recognition and trust of a respected, global conservation organization. The Federation's breaches of the 1994 Agreement diluted and tarnished WWF's identity and the messages associated with it. Unfortunately, WWF's repeated requests all failed to convince the Federation to abide by the Agreement that it freely negotiated and signed, and WWF was forced to bring the action.

 

(This is a case where the animal lovers are just doing this for publicity and there's nothing the WWE can do to stop it. You know what I say? Fuck Prince Charles and his shitty organization. Fuck them and fuck the animals, too. The WWE bends over backwards to placcate these bastards and they keep it up just because it's bringing more attention to the Wildlife Fund than Prince Charles' royal, inbred ass could bring.)

 

 

(Please credit Dave Scherer of 1wrestling.com for the preceding)

 

 

 

"--Scorpion King was the top rated movie in Germany this past weekend, which was its open (thanks to Nils Braselmann)"

 

(Meltz corrected this, it was actually No. 4. Still, a damn good effort by Rocky, even if I hate the Mummy series with a passion.)

 

 

RING OF HONOR ANNOUNCES TITLE TOURNEY

 

"--A.J. Styles and Red have been added to the 6/22 Ring of Honor title tournament in Philadelphia at the Murphy Rec Center. They join already announced Jerry Lynn, Doug Williams, Christopher Daniels, Low Ki, American Dragon, Spanky, Xavier, Scoot Andrews, Jay Briscoe and Prince Nana"

 

(Well... THAT show is gonna rock bells. I could care less if the WWE never got a decent cruiserweight division going, I just want 10 MINUTES for a decent match. Is that TOO MUCH to ask for these days? Hell, I could book the next RAW right now and I'd gurantee that it'd be light-years ahead of whatever the current booking team could brainstorm given a week.)

 

 

DARK ANGEL F/LITA DOESN'T DRAW

 

"--The Dark Angel episode on Friday night with Lita drew a 4.4 rating on the overnights, which was not considered strong."

 

(Maybe people were turned off by JR's shilling of Lita's broken neck that she apparently got while doing the show...)

 

 

BIG SHOW AND BRADSHAW SCREW UP IN UK

 

"--Got a ton of response regarding the FA Cup (which Big Show and Bradshaw did a comedy bit on, unintentionally funny because viewers said it was obvious they had no idea what they were talking about) and the comparisons nearly everyone made was that it was closer to the Super Bowl than the Final Four, as it's the biggest annual sporting event of the year in the U.K. It was good publicity having them on."

 

(When do they EVER know what they're talking about? Oh that's right.... they're MAIN EVENTERS, DAMMIT! And so is X-Punk!!!)

 

 

NOVICE WRESTLER WINS 5 MILLION IN LAWSUIT

 

"--Constantine Foscolos, a novice wrestler in Melbourne, Australia was awarded a $5,744,244.31 judgment against wrestling coach Sam Parker and the Hoadley Court Fooscray Youth Club after being left a quadriplegic after taking a suplex on the top of his head in a 1998 (amateur) match. He suffered irreversible spinal cord damage from an over-the-head belly-to-belly suplex"

 

(Shit, I'll bet Parker will never have another job in Melborne again after that...)

 

 

HCW ANNOUNCES 8-MAN TOURNEY FOR TITLE

 

"--Hardkore Championship Wrestling on 7/13 in Hollywood, FL at the Central Performing Arts Center will have an eight-man tournament to determine its first champion with Maestro (formerly WCW), Shark Boy, B.J. Whitmer, Matt Stryker and Reckless Youth all announced."

 

(Man, I'd be scared if the biggest name I could draw for my first champion was Masetro.)

 

 

ECW 4-WAY HEADLINES MCW EVENT

 

"--Michigan Championship Wrestling last night in Muskegon, MI: Big Vito b Chief Lone Wolf, Candy Divine b Robbie Rage in a paddle on a pole match, Kevin Sullivan b Dirty White Boy, Reggie Brown & Vito b Dan Severn & Horace Hogan, Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson b Jack Starr & Disco Inferno, Sandman won four-way over Sabu, Balls Mahoney and Chris Candido (thanks to Michael Bossenbroek)"

 

(What? Sullivan STILL isn't retired yet? Holy shit! Y'know, it's pretty sad when the most talented guy in the main event is Chris Candido, nothing against Chris but damn... Then again, the WWE has a PPV coming up that's headlined by Hogan/Taker, so I really shouldn't say anything...)

 

 

RAW RATINGS STAY ABOUT THE SAME

 

Raw delivered a 4.6 rating last night, which has to breathe a sigh of relief after the Thursday number.

 

(It was a sigh of relief because fans stayed tuned to see how horrifically funny the Hogan/Taker bit was going to be. Hell, I know that's all that was keeping ME from changing the channel during that shitty second hour.)

 

(Please credit Dave Meltzer of WrestlingObserver.com for the preceding)

 

 

 

Well, that's yer stinkin' update for today, fools. Also, the Spurs just beat the Lakers, so allow me to celebrate...

 

FUCK YOU, SHAQ!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

Of course, expect the Lakers to massarce them the rest of the series and murder the Mavs/Kings winner until finally killing the Eastern Conference sacrifice for another NBA Title... I hate life sometimes.

 

So, til next time... FUCK SHAQ, BABY!

 

Byron Vester

 

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