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TuesDVDay News Update

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In the player: Brother

 

On the box: Jeremy Fucking Paxman

 

Heavy rotation: System of a Down (BOUNCE~!)

 

 

 

 

 

Ahhhhhhhhh.

 

 

 

I spent all afternoon yesterday in the computer labs taking notes for and writing up this frigging thing, and I saved it onto my trusty “Jay’s Articles” floppy disc to bring home and post last night. Only one problem:

 

 

 

I HAVEN’T GOT THE BASTARD FLOPPY DRIVE FOR MY LAPTOP.

 

 

 

So I had to go back to the labs this morning and email the fucking document to myself, come back home and download it onto my computer. Bastard technology would’ve been quicker to write it down on a sheet of fucking paper.

 

 

 

Anyway, all fixed now. But the long and short of it is that I couldn’t be arsed with this week’s release list. I think the only thing worth picking up is Transformers Series 2 Part 1, but if you want to be sure go and check out C.H.U.D.’s bit on the boards.

 

 

 

Usual shit going on here just playing games and gearing up for Christmas. And waiting for Legends of Wrestling 2 to finally come out. Jesus Christ, why can’t Acclaim just make up their minds? I don’t give a shit if they want to delay a game, but don’t keep dishing out a bunch of bullshit dates and false hopes. Fuckers. If anyone sees it on the shelf of their local EB, PLEASE let me know.

 

 

 

Anyway, quite a bit of news this week, so let’s GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT~!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RVD GOES HOLLYWOOD… KINDA

 

 

 

Well, Jet Li may have jumped far, far away from the ill-fated sequel long before production ever started, but Black Mask 2 is finally on its way Stateside, and of course, it’s RVD’s latest foray into the wider world of entertainment.

 

 

 

In fact, the talent on hand for the flick is pretty impressive: Tsui Hark, Yuen Woo Ping, RVD, Tyler Maine (Sabretooth), and Traci Lords. Problem is, the film is almost complete dogshit. Aside from a couple of fun, albeit completely comic book fight scenes, there ain’t much going on here. Still, it’s fun to see RVD spreading his wings (even if he’ll never do a Dwayne Johnson), it’s fun to see Tyler Maine get more work (surely the WWF could do worse than fly him in for a few shows to promote RVD and the flick?), and it’s fun to see Traci Lords… well, it’s just fun to see Traci Lords.

 

 

 

You know what would be really funny? Rob Van Dam and Jean-Cluade Van Damme co-starring in some B-movie tripe. Who would be the better actor? What an intellectual vacuum that film would be. “You are still a faggaht.” Quality.

 

 

 

Check out the trailer here. Can you spot RVD?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOUIS THEROUX: WCW WRESTLER

 

 

 

UK readers will almost certainly be familiar with the TV antics of Louis Theroux and his Weird Weekends, but for the majority US audience here, I’ll explain. Basically, Louis is a gangly (or as we’d call him in England, “lanky”) 6’2”, and is about 160 pounds soaking wet. He’s pretty geeky, and has a very pronounced “proper” English accent. He’s about as nerdy as it gets.

 

 

 

Basically, he goes about the globe in search of… well, the weird. Be it female muscle fetishists, swingers groups, ghetto drug dealers or what have you, Louis will infiltrate their ranks and document what makes them tick. It’s a lot like Beyond The Mat on any specialist group that he can find. Sometimes he makes them look stupid, sometimes it backfires like the time he was patting some bodybuilders on the back for their physical achievement, then told them all that they’re on steroids, which they didn’t take too kindly to.

 

 

 

Louis first adventures were collected on the DVD Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends Volume 1, and now the second volume is on its way with a couple of real gems. The INFAMOUS episode on swingers is probably the best reason to pick up the set, and his exploits in South Africa and with hypnosis heads are pretty fun too. But the one that might be of most interest to you folk is Louis’ attempt to try and make it as a pro wrestler. The episode documents his time in the WCW Power Plant with guys like Sean O’Hare, Chuck Palumbo and the Natural Born Thrillaz under the torturous tutelage of Sarge, as well as his hardcore antics with John Zandig of CZW. If you want to watch Sarge and Medusa stretch an outsider REAL GOOD to prove how tough wrestling is, here’s your chance. Such a great episode.

 

 

 

If that weren’t good enough, the awesome Louis meets the Hamiltons (disgraced British politician and his wife) is included, with white-rabbit style commentary from all three. You dig? Volume 2 will retail for £25 (about US$37), while a boxset including both volumes will go for £35 (approx US$52). If you’re multi-region capable, check out Play.com.

 

 

 

Thanks to the DVD Times, where you can also check out a review of Volume 1.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE HIRE

 

 

 

Over at BMW Films, the final episode of this year’s The Hire has appeared, and very cool it is too. Between Clive Owen, Gary Oldman and James Brown, there’s just so much to love about this series.

 

 

 

Now, if you’re a fan of the films, listen up: BMW have set up a page where you can go to keep tabs on the new DVD, and if interest is anything like it was last year, it’s definitely gonna be worth getting hold of for collectors. Last year you could pick up the discs form BMW dealers, but you’re better off hitting up the site to make sure you get a copy.

 

 

 

Thanks to the Times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STAR TREK V: NO MORE MONEY FOR YOU, FAT BOY

 

 

 

According to an article over at IGN, the much-anticipated Super-Duper-All-New-Ending-Let’s-All-Fellate-William Shatner’s-Appalling-Singing-and-Directing Edition of Star Trek V will NOT be happening. Instead, Paramount will issue the regular Special Edition treatment with commentary etc., but won’t be throwing extra cash Shatner’s way to add extra footage and/or effects for the film.

 

 

 

 

 

IGN: So they wouldn't let you go back and do a special edition...

 

Wiggy: Nope... Nope. I was really upset by that. I told them that more people would buy the DVD that they'd garner more money by investing some money with me.

 

 

 

IGN: Word was leaked to the Internet a few weeks back that Paramount was considering allowing you to do a special edition, and the response from fans was extremely positive...

 

Wiggy: They considered it for about 5 minutes.

 

 

 

IGN: People were saying things along the line of, "You know, I would buy it just because of that." Personally, I've always liked the film and don't really understand the almost fanatical vehemence towards it...

 

Wiggy: Yeah, some people criticize it and then there are a number of people like yourself who saw it. The big problem was the ending, and I just didn't have any money. Nobody guided me properly... I say that on the DVD. I needed some help and I didn't get it.

 

 

 

IGN: What are the changes you would make, if you were directing that film today?

 

Wiggy: Mostly the ending. I would have made an ending. There was no ending.

 

 

 

IGN: If Paramount had given you the money to do a special edition DVD, is the footage available was the footage shot to be able to redo the ending?

 

Wiggy: I would have invented the footage. I had the footage of running and jumping down hills I needed something to run and jump after me. That wasn't there because of a number of circumstances all relating to the fact that there was no money to make an ending.

 

 

 

 

 

I guess no-one’s allowed to go back and “revisit” films except for Lucas and Shatner. Which, depending on how you look at it, is ample justification both for and against the decision. And come to think of it, Spielberg’s so concerned with his “artistic vision” and “the way films are meant to be viewed” that he won’t give us a bastard commentary for any of his films, yet he doesn’t mind going back and altering or adding to the films, completely changing his original intention of how they’re “supposed to be viewed”? What a tosser.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OZZY OZZY OZZY, OI! OI! OI!

 

 

 

We’ve known about and had stats for The Osbournes on DVD for a while now, but a little more information has been revealed recently.

 

 

 

Both censored and uncensored (WTF? What’s the point in that?) versions will be available, for starters. But more interestingly, there will be genuine all-new footage on the discs (as well as the usual “best moments” nonsense).

 

 

 

There will be unaired footage from all ten episodes, as well as blooper reels which should be worth seeing, “Conversations With The Osbournes”, including Micahel the security guard, as well as a commentary track (with who? WITH WHO??) for all the episodes and an “Ozzy Translator”, which will probably work something like the one in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. There’s also some fluff like games and weblinks, but one of the DVD-ROM features sounds a lot like a text commentary, which should be cool too.

 

 

 

So there you have it reason enough to go buy the set now, as if you weren’t already gonna get it before.

 

 

 

Thanks to IGN et al.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ON DiVX’s SECRET SERVICE

 

 

 

I love The Digital Bits and all, especially after all the work they’ve done, and continue to do for the format we love, but sometimes I can’t help but feel they’re a little… over-reactive at times.

 

 

 

CNN posted a story about a batch of media promo DVDs for the new Bond movie that “self-destruct” after 36 hours. There’s basically a chemical reaction between the air and the surface of the disc that makes the disc surface gradually degrade after it has been opened, becoming unreadable.

 

 

 

While the whole thing seems like a pretty good laugh and a neat bit of promotion by the filmmakers (there’s an introduction from Q himself warning “agents” watching the discs that it will self-destruct, Mission Impossible stylee), the Bits immediately drew comparisons to DiVX. ”We expect it will get ridden out on a rail by consumers, just like every other attempt at a self-destructing disc format has. Funny thing about consumers... they like to be actually able to KEEP the content they buy on DVD.”

 

 

 

In fairness, that was about the extent of their complaints, but I just thought it was funny. Shit, if something’s got that kind of stupid protection, I’ll just copy the disc as soon as I open it no biggie. The original CNN article is definitely worth a read though, so go check it out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, we’re all done here.

 

 

 

I’m off to redub some anal porn with System of a Down and Slayer. See you in seven.

 

 

 

I UNDERSTAND FUCKING JAP, ASSHOLE~!

 

 

 

Peace.

 

Jay

 

 

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