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Tony149

HD: COD vs. MD/BW

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* DING * DING * DING * DING * 

BUFFER
This is your HeldDOWN main event! Sanctioned by the OAOAST, it’s for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! Are you ready?

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

BUFFER
¿Todos mi amigos, estás listo?

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

BUFFER
Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

“Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits and Mr. Dick charges onstage like a wild bull, whereas Baron Windels is calm, cool and collected. 

BUFFER
Introducing the challengers, themselves former tag champions who tonight team for the first time in many years. They both hail from SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, and weigh-in at a combine 503 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS and the newly crowned OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Mr. Dick enters the ring noticeably agitated, perhaps due to the fact Buffer neglected to mention MALAYSIA, but high-fives BW and holds the title high for all to see. 

COLE
Never thought I’d say this, but it’s great to see Malaysia ringside. In case you don’t know why, be sure to catch the encore presentation of AngleMania IX all this weekend.  

COACH
I was there live and I’m still gonna order the encore presentation. It definitely was the world’s largest orgy of fun. In fact, I bet you had an orgy with those oiled up dudes who brought you to the ring, Cole.

COLE
I was in heaven the whole night. By which I mean the show!

“Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne cues and COD get their big intro I’m too lazy to look up/write.  

BUFFER
And their opponents… from the City of Angels, they are THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA… CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Alix high-fives every hand in sight, including those of our broadcast team. 

ALIX
(to Coach)
I voted for you. Well, actually Krista did. I preferred the hockey mom because she reminded me of Krista, the wrestling mom. Krista wasn’t too thrilled with the comparison. 

COLE
(laughing)
The election was two years ago. 

ALIX
I know but I just now remembered. Later gators. 

COACH
I’m more disturbed by the fact Alix thinks all brothers look alike. 

All 4 participants meet mid-ring for pre-match handshakes, though Krista and Mr. Dick are quick to wipe their hands afterward. 

COLE
Obviously there are still bitter feelings between Mr. Dick and Krista. Who can forget their match last year at AngleMania VIII where Mr. Dick became the first person ever to pin Krista in a singles match?

As everyone takes their places, TIM CASH joins the guys at Sofa Central. 

COLE
Tim Cash, welcome! 

CASH
Great to be here guys. Thanks for inviting me. 

COACH
You invited yourself, but whatever. Trying to steal the spotlight are you? 

CASH
No, sir. Just the opposite in fact. That’s why I waited till the end to come out. 

COACH
Of the closet? 

COLE
Coach!

* DINGDINGDING *

Alix strikes a fencing pose and shouts “en garde” as the bell sounds, to which BW responds with a quick arm drag. 

COACH
If Alix had her phone, she’d get a text from Melody that reads “Fail.” 

CASH
Melody’s too nice to do that. Well, at least to a friend. 

Alix charges ahead, but BW leapfrogs her and drops down on the rebound. Quick to react, Alix performs a CARTWHEEL and merrily claps her hands, then grabs a side headlock. BW shoves her off and drops down again. This time he’s ready when Alix attempts another cartwheel, surprising her with a monkey flip. Alix returns to a vertical base following a side headlock takedown and LICKS BW’S NIPPLE TO ESCAPE!

BARON
:lol:

ALIX
: )

COLE
Who says you can’t learn anything watching TV? We just learned Baron Windels is ticklish!

COACH
I got a little stiff in the pants. How bout you Tim?

CASH
It’s been a very entertaining match so far.

COACH
Do you even like girls?

CASH
Oh, sure. I like Krista, Alix, Jade, Maya, Melody… They’re all very nice girls.

COACH
I think we’ve found you a new partner, Cole. 

Alix and BW bump fists, then lockup. Hip toss plants Alix flat on her back, but she kicks BW away and dropkicks him!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Both pop to their feet and tag out to a huge ovation.

COACH
Here we go.

COLE
The crowd already buzzing in anticipation of this showdown. 

Mr. Dick and Krista come eye to eye, nose to nose. Krista none too shy in expressing her desire to be World Champion once again, prompting MD to knee her in the gut. 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
You’d think Tim Duncan just kneed Kobe Bryant in the groin the way this crowd reacted. 

CASH
Timmy’s too good a guy to do that. Although what we just saw was a bit of a cheap shot, in my opinion. 

COACH
Pretty much everything is a cheap shot in your book. Anyway, a lot of times you’ll see a guy lose his edge after becoming a fan favorite, not Mr. Dick. He’s still very physical in the ring. 

Face-first into the buckle goes… NO! Krista puts on the brakes and it’s MD who eats turnbuckle. 

Again.

And again.

And again. 

But MD reverses a whip and squashes Krista in the far corner. 

COLE
Bite My Giant Dick!

Krista stumbles out but manages to duck a STIFF KICK, which she answers with THE HEBREW HAMMER!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

COD tag and deliver a DOUBLE BACKDROP. Alix then channels her inner Scotty 2 Hotty by doing THE WORM.

ALIX
W…

O…

R…

* awkward pause *

“M!”

ALIX
Oh right. M. 

Suddenly MD kips up and gives Alix a FACIAL (discus punch)!

KRISTA
:angry:

CASH
(sighs)
I keep telling Jock he’s got to keep the fist open because a closed one is against the rules. 

MD tags out and motions for BW to cover Alix, but he’s reluctant to do so.

COLE
Baron Windels still clearly stunned over what just took place. I mean, talk about impact. 

COACH
Yeah, that had to knock the stupid out of her. 

CASH
Well that wasn’t very nice.

COACH
There’s no time to be nice in the ring against COD. When you got one down you gotta finish them or they‘ll finish you. 

MD tags himself back in and put the boots to Alix, then rams her into the buckle and follows up with a series of right jabs. Irish whip leads to a MILITARY PRESS SLAM and the cover, but only after MD thrust his pelvis in Krista’s direction. 

ONE!

TWO!

SAVE BY KRISTA! 

COLE
A little extra something behind that blow. You know Krista took exception to Dick’s pelvic action. 

MD holds Alix up for BW following a tag, but rather than punch or kick her BW executes a snap mare. 

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

BW hooks Alix for a vertical suplex only to be wrapped up in a SMALL PACKAGE!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

BW kicks out, catches Alix in mid-air as she attempts a springboard spear and delivers a FALLAWAY SLAM that sends her outside. Krista goes to her partner’s aid but is cut off by the referee. 

COACH
What did I tell you? You gotta finish the job when you have a member of COD down. Baron Windels almost cost his team tag title gold because he wanted to be a good guy. You’re a bad influence Cash.

CASH
The only thing bad is your breath. 

COLE
Let’s keep it civil, guys. 

Out on the arena floor, Malaysia scoops Alix up and DRIVES HER INTO THE RINGPOST!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

CASH
:o

COLE
Unlike her main squeeze, Malaysia not as popular in San Antonio or other OAOAST arenas for that matter.

COACH
As they say, old habits die hard. 

BW watches in disbelief as Malaysia casually rolls Alix back in. All MD can do is shrug his shoulders. But again BW can’t take advantage of the situation, forcing MD to tag himself back in. MD delivers an inverted atomic drop, the prelude to the clothesline from hell… but Alix counters with a CRUCIFIX PIN!

COACH
Isn’t that blaspheme given COD’s lifestyle?!?

The count.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Alix frantically crawls between MD’s legs and tags Krista!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Krista and MD trade blows, with Krista initially getting the better of it until MD fights back to a loud ovation. He whips Krista across but gets taken down by a flying head scissors. Krista holds on to the hold to perform THE PUSH UP FACE CRUSHER!

COLE
Krista taking it to the World Champion. 

Krista whips MD into the ropes and leapfrogs him. MD stops and turns right into an inverted atomic drop, then gets nailed with a… NO! MD ducks the super kick and with FULL PENETRATION drives Krista into the mat courtesy of a full nelson slam!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

SAVE BY ALIX!

Alix gives MD a piece of her mind and gets drilled by a BW flying lariat!

COACH
It’s on now, fellas. 

MD sets Krista for THE COCK BLOCK, but she floats over and hits THE CODEBREAKER!

COLE
KIDology!

The cover but no count as the ref is busy trying to breakup Alix/BW. This allows Malaysia to sneak in and whack Krista with her CAT O’NINE TAILS. 

NO!!

Tim Cash slides in and yanks it away. 

COACH
What does that idiot think he’s doing?

COLE
Trying to keep the playing field leveled, that’s what. 

Krista spots Cash with the whip and confronts him. Cash denies any ill intent but Krista doesn’t buy it, especially with Malaysia at his side. Mr. Dick then sees the whip in Krista’s possession and kicks her low, which he follows with THE COCK BLOCK!

COLE
Dick, no! 

MD covers Krista in compromising fashion as Malaysia takes Cash out with her.  

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… and your NEEWWW One & Only World tag team champions… BARON WINDELS and the reigning OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

MD tosses a tag belt to BW and poses with his 2 titles. 

COACH
New tag champions, Mikey Cole!

COLE
The Lone Star Gunslingers ride again. Oh my! 

[b]FADE TO BLACK[/b]

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