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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (7/24/2003)

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Guest TSMAdmin

SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (7/24/2003)

by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

 

Tolling the bell: It is with great sadness that I mention the death of Danny "Bullwhip" Johnson, who passed away this past Sunday at the age of 49. Bullwhip was most famous in Ontario, particularly in the Hamilton area, but American fans may remember him from his appearance at Starrcade 90, where he teamed Troy Montour in a losing effort to Victor Zangiev and Salmon Hashimikov in the first round of the Pat O'Connor Tag Team Tournament. Please join me in a moment of silence as we toll the bell for Danny Johnson.

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

DING!

 

Thank you very much.

 

 

Well, I was planning on having a Today in Wrestling History column yesterday, but since we've had about four tornado warnings this week already, I didn't exactly have the computer on for any length of time to type it up. Hopefully we can have enough halfway decent weather for me to finish up Ring of Honor's Crowning a Champion by the end of the month as planned, but I'm starting to have my doubts.

 

 

E-mail of the Week: Either Scroby is the man, or it's been a slow week, but for the second week in a row, he chimes in.

 

Yay i'm the email of the week, its about damn time my name got mentioned on the site once again. Anyways so we get a treat of Beniot vs Eddie ( i gotta learn how to spell his last name). Which is face vs face cause they can't get Eddie as a heel anymore, sorta like RVD when he came back and tried making him heel but it wasn't going to happen. Anyways to be honest that is really the only match that won't annoy the hell outta me on that card, Brock vs angle vs show wouldn't be that annoying, but show kills it for me. But I got a few questions for you and bit of just bad pleding.

 

1. Was the sound a bit screwed up for you too?

2. Did you also find tonights Smackdown! funny as hell also, for some reason I was just cracking up. and finally the pleding....

 

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T HAVE VINCE VS BROCK AT SUMMERSLAM FOR THE LOVE OF

GOD NOOOOO!

 

ok i'm done.

 

My thoughts:

 

1. My sound was a bit screwed up, but the connection on my VCR was screwed up when I was recording the show, so I thought that's what did it. It's good to know that wasn't the case.

 

2. Outside of Stephanie's fake sounding screams, "funny" isn't the word I'd use to describe that show.

 

And I second that pleading. I've been saying for two months now that the only major problem with SmackDown is the consistency of McMahons being on my TV, and then you go and more or less guarantee that Vince McMahon will main event SummerSlam. Why are we even bothering at this point?

 

 

Forums Quote of the Week: Can't he just smuggle himself into MSG in somebody's luggage? -Slingshot Suplex on giving The Dames money to go to WrestleMania XX

 

 

Tonight: The digital cable preview lists Zach Gowen, Kurt Angle, and Brock Lesnar vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team and The Big Show, plus expect plenty of Vince, Steph, and Sable because God forbid we not give the majority of the Vengeance hype to the two matches that are almost guaranteed to suck ass. Plus, Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore (YES!), The APA vs. The FBI (NO!), and Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble (MAYBE!).

 


Segment 1

 

Support those in entertainment who make more money than you ever will in your lifetime. Don't download illegal stuff. Whatever. Make good music affordable and maybe people wouldn't need to download the good shit for free.

 

Last week on SmackDown, Zach Gowen helped Kurt Angle score an upset in a 3-on-1 handicap match.

 

Taped 7/22/2003 from the Selland Arena in Fresno, California, and Michael Coleslaw and Tazz are here to bring you the action just 72 hours before Vengeance!

 

But before we announce anything of note, here comes SmackDown GM Stephanie McBitch, who is apparently distraught over Linda McMahon's condition after Kane's Tombstone on Raw. It's been a tough week, but she won't let her personal life affect business. Vince is taking care of Linda (thank God), so Steph is taking back SmackDown. And Fresno wants competition, so it's The World's Greatest Tag Team and The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle (cheers), Zach Gowen (tepid reaction at best) and Brock Lesnar (cheers). Oh, and at Vengeance she'll treat Sable "like the bitch you are". Cue the music of John Cena, who apparently has more time to rap than, you know, prepare for a huge match at Vengeance and all. He's sorry to interrupt, but he had a dream about her last night. He can't wait to see her catfight. He mentions her breasts a lot and more or less says he wants to be Triple H. Seriously. "Here's 20 bucks. Please rip Sable's top off. I got this little fetish with nipples, I definitely get my rocks off." More flirting, and Cena wants to smack her ass, then Steph says "I dare you to do it." He does, but it's time for No Longer Able Sable to show clips of last week's catfight (with clips of Stephanie's takedown conveniently missing from the footage) from the safety of backstage. Sable says Steph can take care of Linda while she takes care of Vince, and there's Steph to take offense, so Sable tells Steph to find her, and Steph takes off after her.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, for the thousandth time, I don't care about Stephanie McMahon vs. Sable. Matches and angles like this are why nobody takes the women's division seriously. The ones who watch for T & A will enjoy it. Those of us who like wrestling know that no matter what kind of build-up they give it, it's still going to be a candidate for worst match of the year. And is this seriously the best they can do for John Cena? Rapping about a match he has nothing to do with instead of building to a match that he actually does have? Maybe I missed the class where rapping about everybody else got your match over when I took Wrestling 101.


Segment 2

 

During the break, Steph went to her office to find it empty, then scared the shit out of Torrie Wilson, who pointed her out to the parking lot.

 

Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: Rey Misterio Jr. (Cruiserweight Champion) and Billy Kidman vs. Matt Hardy v.1.0 and Shannon Moore v.0.75

 

SmackDown takes over Heat this Sunday, with Ultimo Dragon on the card. But what about the Steven Richards-Goldust match they promised us this past Sunday? Matt Facts: "Mattitude is considered sacred in Japan" and "Matt has defeated Kidman and Mysterio on consecutive pay-per-views". No Way Out and WrestleMania XIX, if you forgot. Rey and Matt start. Wrestling sequence to start. Hardy with a kick to the midsection and a corner whip, but Rey gains control and tags in Kidman, who hits a slingshot legdrop for 2. Moore tagged in, and Kidman takes him down with a flying headscissors. Moore to the floor, Kidman and Moore switch places, and there's Matt with the clothesline. He tosses Kidman back in, and Moore covers for 2. Hardy back in, and it's elbowsmash, legdrop, cover for 2. Moore with a rope stunner, backing Kidman into an innovative Hardy neckbreaker for 2. Moore in, and a swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Moore locks in a form of a crossface submission. Kidman tries to chop out of it, but Hardy runs in for a cheap forearm to the back. Hardy tags in and punches away before covering for 2. Into a modified surfboard. Kidman avoids a charge in the corner and takes Hardy down with a springboard bulldog. Both men down. Tag to Moore...but no hot tag...oh, never mind, there it is. Misterio works over both men, hitting Moore with a seated dropkick before Hardy gets involved. Rey bulldogs Hardy, kicks Moore, and heads up top, but Moore grabs him. Rey counters it into a 619 position, but Hardy grabs the leg. Spinebuster bomb by Kidman to Moore, Hardy takes him down with a Side Effect, and then it's a sitout power bomb by Hardy to Rey, which enables Moore to cover for 2. Kidman tags Rey and hits a flying bodypress, but the ref is with Rey and doesn't see Hardy interfere...but Rey still makes the save at 2. Rey ranas Hardy over the top, Kidman dropkicks Moore into the ropes, and Rey hits the 619. Rey with a springboard ropeflip moonsault to Hardy as Kidman takes Moore down with a Shooting Star Press, and that's the pin after 7:19 of a very energetic affair. *** How the hell am I supposed to keep up with all that?

 

Steph has found Sable outside and slams her head into a limo, and everytime Sable tries to enter the limo, Steph pulls her out...but Sable finally runs inside for cover. Steph can't get in, but she grabs a lead pipe...and apparently Linda's all better because Mr. McAsshole is back. Vince is complaining that if Steph's not careful, "you'll be incapacitated...just like your mother!"


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

What's the name of that song? Oh yeah. "Take My Breath Away". What a way to kick off the wrestling portion of the card. Screw psychology! If matches are that energetic as simple spotfests, I will take it and run. Great stuff, and a great test to bring legitimacy to the Kidman/Misterio team prior to Vengeance. Add some psychology to that and that's a potential show stealer at a major pay-per-view. Of course, we overshadow that by finding out that Vince McMahon is indeed here, thus giving us a blatant bait-and-switch and deflating my hopes for this ending up as an awesome show.


Segment 3

 

One fall: Jamie By God Noble vs. "Not the One" Billy Gunn (w/Torrie Wilson)

 

I like this Jason Roberts as a ring announcer. He's got a great voice for it. Prior to the match, Noble claims Nidia's not there because she's sick, and therefore it has nothing to do with offering Torrie Wilson $25,000 to sleep with him. And speaking of Torrie, Noble wants to know exactly how much Torrie wants, because she has a price. Gunn charges the ring, but gets met by Noble coming in. Gunn quickly gains the advantage and hits his hiptoss into a brian buster. A series of punches and a charge, but Noble pulls down the top rope and Gunn tumbles to the floor. Baseball slide, and Noble takes the fight to the floor. Noble stalks Torrie into the ring, and he runs into a spinning Rock Bottom for the pin and Gunn win at 1:26. Wow, what a huge push for Noble, huh? Sadly, I thought this could be on the way to telling a decent story. 1/2* Postmatch, Noble asks for a rematch because he knows he's better than Gunn in everything, including in bed. So Torrie has her own proposition...beat Billy at Vengeance, and she'll sleep with him on SmackDown next week. Like that will ever air on television...

 

Clips of the "Unleashed in the Far East" tour, which is sure to be reshown on Confidential over the next week or two.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

Well, we just saw the match for free, and it wasn't that hot. Then we add it to Vengeance, but we add a stipulation that we will never be able to properly pay off. Congratulations, you've made Vengeance even more of a must-miss card than it already was, which is really saying something. Noble might still not end up winning this match despite doing the job the show before, normally a prerequisite for winning a pay-per-view match.


Segment 4

 

Moments ago, we added another match to Vengeance.

 

The APA are talking about Bradshaw's new book, and in comes A-Train. They invite him to the Invitational Barroom Brawl. A-Train says he's been in bigger brawls. Apparently we've put the Easter Bunny (A-Train: "Where I come from, we HATE the Easter Bunny") and Doink the Clown into this thing in addition to cruiserweights and unused wrestlers galore. In comes The Brooklyn Brawler to ask for an invitation, and he wants a piece of Doink based on some childhood party ("I don't want to talk about it right now") Um... They give him until Sunday to prove he's a brawler and not that guy who lost all those matches.

 

"Price to Play" by Staind is the official theme song of Vengeance. On the card, The Undertaker vs. John Cena. Cena does another pretaped promo to attempt to hype this. He claims he won't be sacrificed even though he's standing inside a Satanic symbol.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

Wait a second. Doink the Clown, the Easter Bunny, and possibly The Brooklyn Brawler make the pay-per-view, but Ultimo Dragon is relegated to Heat? What in the blue hell are these writers smoking, and is there any of it left? I might need some of that to sit through this one.


Segment 5

 

Eddy Guerrero makes his way to the ring. Low rider of choice: A 1964 Impala. Eddy has to polish the bumper and gives us a look at the hydraulics system in the trunk. Now Eddy's got the stick, but an "Eddy" chant delays the promo. This Sunday, it's SmackDown's first ever pay-per-view, and Eddy gets to wrestle for the U.S. Title. And he's going to wrestle his best friend, Chris Benoit. (Were those boos for Benoit?) They've wrestled together in Japan, ECW, WCW, and WWE, and he has tons of respect for him, but may the best man win on Sunday. Here comes Chris BeNOIT. Benoit grabs the mic as another "Eddy" chant starts. Benoit questions the best friend comment, saying it's been months since Eddy's called him. How many best friends does he have? How many can someone who lies, cheats, and steals have? Sure, Eddy talks about how much time they've spent together, but if he thinks Benoit will lower his guard like Tajiri did, he can forget it, because nothing will stop him from winning the U.S. Title at Vengeance. A mixture of cheers and boos for that, and Eddy admits he was lying about them being best friends, because the truth is he can't stand Benoit. Everywhere they've been, it's been "Chris Benoit, the best technical wrestler in the world. Eddy Guerrero -- who?" Benoit's the best. Eddy's pretty good, but he's not the leader Benoit is. And Eddy's tired of being second best. It's time for him to be numero uno, and he'll accomplish that by winning the U.S. Title on Sunday night. Eddy starts to leave, but Benoit cuts him off. Did that cut Eddy too deep? if he's got a problem, why not prove Benoit wrong and step into the ring right now? That's exactly what Eddy was talking about. "You tell me to jump and you expect me to listen." This time it's on Eddy's terms -- Sunday at Vengeance. Eddy tries to charge when Benoit turns his back, but Benoit's waiting form him and dumps Eddy to the floor. Eddy sprays the polish into Benoit's eyes, and the crowd pops for it as Eddy stomps away at Benoit. The Man Beast Rhyno comes out to check on his partner. Referees lead Benoit to the back as Rhyno grabs the mic and issues a challenge to Eddy. "I know you don't have any friends because you're a jack-off, but I never thought in a million years you wouldn't have any...how would you say it...cajonas!" I think it's "cajones", but close enough.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

Now this is nice, simplistic booking. They both want the title, with Eddy having the added motivation of wanting to prove he's better than Benoit, and Eddy is willing to do anything to prove it, including spraying a foreign substance into Benoit's eyes. It's simple, it's effective, and it doesn't insult the intelligence of the viewing audience. And we get what could be a pretty good match as a result of the segment. How about more of this and less of the stuff that doesn't make sense?


Segment 6

 

Eddy Guerrero vs. The Man Beast Rhyno

 

We're in progress with Eddy taking Rhyno down with a flying headscissors. Eddy chops away at Rhyno. Corner whip, Rhyno with an elbow, and a power bomb into a snake eyes that gets a 2 count. Snap mare into a reverse chinlock. Rhyno with some forearms to Eddy's back before going back to the reverse chinlock. Eddy punches out but is taken down with a short clothesline. Cover for 2. Thumb to the eye. Hard slam, and back into a reverse chinlock. This better be a 12-minute match with all of these chinlocks. Eddy elbows out of it, and he takes Rhyno down with a Northern Lights suplex for 2. Rhyno locks Eddy into a crippler crossface (Tazz: "Eddy's getting a feel for what it's like"), and Eddy reaches the ropes to force the break. Eddy ducks a charging Rhyno, forcing Rhyno to tumble to the floor, and a pescadoe takes Rhyno down on the floor. A series of stomps on the floor, and he rams Rhyno's head into the ringpost. Into the ring, and Eddy hits the Hilo and covers for 2. Eddy stands on Rhyno's hair, and that has to hurt like hell. Then an anklescissors neck wringer onto Rhyno's surgically repaired neck. Another "Eddy" chant, and now it's Eddy using the reverse chinlock. Rhyno punches out of it and takes Eddy down with a flying clothesline. Another clothesline gets Rhyno a two-count. Spinebuster for 2. Rhyno heads up top, but Eddy catches him and takes him down with a top-rope rana for 2. Eddy goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Rhyno gets some knees in and takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Rhyno telegraphs a Gore, and Eddy puts the referee in front of him. That distraction enables Eddy to hit a low blow, then act like he's the one who was low blowed. A dropkick to the chest and a cover (using the ropes for leverage) gives Eddy the win at 8:25 shown. **1/4 He lies, he cheats, he steals...and he wins to loud ovations.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

A few glaring problems with this match, most notably the reliance on the reverse chinlock. While not a bad move in the right context (it's wearing an opponent down), so little is done to actually sell the move as meaning anything that it has the potential to kill the crowd. Other than that, I can't complain with the match as a whole, as it was good enough for a TV match while still pushing Eddy as he makes his way to Sunday's U.S. Title match. This one had better be a classic if they want to salvage the show though.


Segment 7

 

WrestleMania Recall: Andre the Giant chokes Bob Uecker (WrestleMania IV). Tickets for WrestleMania XX go on sale in late September.

 

The FBI (w/Nunzio) vs. The APA

 

Last week, the APA wanted to give Saddam Hussein an invitation to the barroom brawl. Stamboli and Palumbo attack before the bell. Palumbo accidentally takes Stamboli down with a superkick, then Bradshaw hits Palumbo with the Clothesline from Hell for the pin at :31. What the hell was the point? DUD Postmatch, Bradshaw and Ron Simmons take Nunzio down, but The Brooklyn Brawler runs in with a chair and takes both of them down. Then it's like Survivor Series come early, as everybody who has been invited (and has accepted) runs down to do their thing.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

And here I thought that they were going to push the FBI. I mean, they gave them those nice little video packages and pretended that the matches with The Undertaker meant something...and then they lose a match in barely 30 seconds to a tag team that's been back together for less than a month. Way to push that new talent, WWE. Hell, if this was going to be a 30 second match, they could have at least had Brawler's run-in lead to a DQ finish so that the FBI doesn't look weak as hell, but maybe that just makes too much sense for WWE writers to comprehend.


Segment 8

 

Zach Gowen is getting ready, and in comes Vince McMahon, but it's not his style to take advantage of someone from behind. He'll wait until Vengeance to do that. Vince has a lot of respect for him. Look at how he came back from losing his leg. Some people have sympathy. But not Vince. And after he beats Zach at Vengeance, people will have a reason to feel sorry for him. Zach calls Vince a "sorry excuse for a human being". That brings in My Olympic Hero and King Brock I. Vince wishes them luck, because "for some reason, I think you're going to need it."

 

Sold out from Fresno, California with six man tag team action coming up next. But it leads to Vengeance this Sunday. Indecent Proposal Match: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn. Then a video package to hype the rest of the card. Stephanie McMahon vs. Sable. Eddy Gurerrero vs. Chris Benoit for the U.S. Title. Mr. McMahon vs. Zach Gowen. Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio Jr. vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team for the WWE Tag Team Title. The Undertaker vs. John Cena. And the triple threat match for the WWE Title: The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

I think it's a safe bet that we can't get even one main event on SmackDown without somebody getting illegally involved. At least not tonight.


Segment 9

 

Six Man Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall: The Too Damn Big Show and WWE's Greatest Tag Team vs. My Olympic Hero, Zach Gowen and King Brock I

 

Order your Brock Lesnar tank top and shorts at the Shopzone website, but only if you want to be ridiculed by everybody in the locker room. Angle and Benjamin start. Extended wrestling sequence to start. Shoulderblock by Benjamin, but Angle gets a belly-to-belly. Haas gets backdropped, but Benjamin clotheslines Angle. Hard elbowsmash and a tag to Haas. Angle hooks in an armbar, but Haas fights out of it with forearms. Hiptoss and a clothesline by Angle for 2. Tag to Lesnar, who quickly goes for the corner shoulderblock combo. Haas with an elbow and a clothesline, then some headbutts and a dropkick to finally take Lesnar down. Lesnar with a belly-to-belly, there's a cheap shot from Gowen, and Brock gets in a press slam before tagging Gowen. Lesnar tosses Gowen onto the Tag Team Champions and knocks Show off the apron. Gowen with a slingshot legdrop for 2. Double team by the champions, and there's the tag to the Big Show. Gowen tries to fight away, but Show tosses him across the ring. Hard slap to the chest. Show signals for the Choke Slam, but Lesnar clips Show's knee, and Gowen falls on top for a two count. Show tosses Gowen over the top rope with one arm, then in come Brock and Angle to clothesline Show out of the ring. Out comes Vince McMahon, who hits Gowen's good leg with a chair and walks to the back in celebration. In the ring, Angle and Lesnar go to town on Haas and Benjamin, but they've just figured out what's happened to Gowen, and here come the referees to check up on him.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

 

I actually like the strategy behind going after Gowen's leg, but there's only one problem. Just as they cut to break, the referees were beginning to cart Gowen to the back. Did I miss Gowen making the tag during the stretch of all six guys running in and out of the ring? Because I'm thinking that should be a countout win for the heels there. Still, now you've got a 3-on-2 advantage for the heels, and the possibility of Gowen hopping back out to become part of the decision anyway. But at this point, you can keep Show out of the ring and turn this into a great TV main event.


Segment 10

 

We're back with Angle pouding away at The Big Show. Whip, reversal, side slam by Show. During the break, Show sent Lesnar into the ringpost, essentially making this a 3-on-1 even though Lesnar is on the apron. Benjamin is in, and he takes Angle down with a knee to the midsection. Into the corner, tag to Haas, and there's the double team. Back suplex by Haas for 2 as the crowd chants "Angle". A shot for Lesnar, who falls hard off the apron, and that enables the usual double team from Haas and Benjamin. Benjamin covers for 2 3/4. Tag to Show, who comes in with a kidney punch and a slap to the chest. Delayed vertical suplex (why has Show never used that before?). Into a half Boston crab as we get a replay of Vince's chair shot to Gowen's knee. Angle counters the half crab with a roll up for 2 (sweet!), but Show comes back with a clothesline. Belly-to-belly suplex by Haas. Angle avoids a clothesline and takes Haas down with a Russian legsweep, but in comes Benjamin with a kick to the chin. Haas covers, and Lesnar has to make the save. Haas with some punches, Angle punching back, but a knee to the back by Benjamin enables Haas to get in a clothesline. Benjamin tags in and punches Angle. Angle punches out, knocks Haas off the apron, and clotheslines Benjamin. Tag to Show, hot tag to Brock, and he takes Show down with a flying forearm. Suplexes for the tag champs, and a series of shoulderblocks to Benjamin in the corner. In comes Show to catch Lesnar with a boot to the face. Show goes for a choke slam, but Lesnar avoids it and suplexes Show with relative ease. Lesnar tags in Angle and sends the tag champs to the floor. Down go the straps Memphis style, and he locks in the Ankle Lock to Show. Lesnar goes to F5 Haas, but he swings Haas' feet into Angle's head. Uh oh. All three champs are on the floor as Show choke slams Angle, and that's the pin at 17:50. That will deflate the crowd, but that was quite the main event there. ***1/4 If Show pins Angle Sunday, he wins the title. Lesnar comes in after the match and levels Show repeatedly with a steel chair. A series of kicks to the midsection, and in comes Haas, who gets taken down with an F5. He stalks Show again, stares Haas down, but Angle is up and fighting Brock for the chair. And now there's a shoving match, Brock with a kick, Angle avoids an F5, Brock avoids an Angle Slam, and Show takes both down with a Choke Slam. Under WWE logic, Show's the only one out of the running on Sunday.


END OF SHOW

 

Another solid 20 minute main event, which is becoming the norm for this show, and it can remain the norm forever as far as I'm concerned. They finally did something to tease tension between Brock and Angle (which should have been done weeks ago), and this is the first time I've been remotely interested in The Big Show's presence in the Vengeance main event.

 

Overall, a much better effort than in recent weeks. Most of the McMahon stuff was relegated to the first hour in fairly inoffensive segments, three of the five matches were certainly passable or better, and overall the show maintained a pretty solid pace. They still didn't give a lot of time or effort to matches for the PPV that could use it (Undertaker vs. Cena, anyone?) while the two main matches that were hyped still feature McMahons. The added hype for the WWE and US title matches might have actually gotten some added buys, but it might be too little too late for most of you.

 

So let's take a quick look at the lineup for Vengeance.

 

WWE Title Triple Threat Match: The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar (champion). This could be decent, and as long as The Big Show doesn't win the title I won't complain too much.

 

WWE Tag Team Title: The World Greatest Tag Team (champions) vs. Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio Jr. I'm still expecting Kidman to turn on Rey, despite the fact that they haven't done anything at all to build up to that. Should be excellent while it lasts. No build at all for it, but those four being involved is enough for me.

 

WWE U.S. Title: Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit. This should be the match of the night by far, and Eddy should come away with the title here. A potential match of the year candidate if they give it enough time.

 

Zach Gowen vs. Vince McMahon. This could be entertaining crap, but most likely will be pisspoor from an in-ring standpoint. Keep it short and give Gowen the win and it's perfectly acceptable.

 

Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon. I don't care. Just keep it to about 4 or 5 minutes bell-to-bell.

 

The Undertaker vs. John Cena. They didn't care enough to build up to it, so I don't care enough to talk any more about it.

 

The APA Invitational Barroom Brawl. Provided they actually bother with having an actual winner, it's probably going to be the APA as a unit, but I'd like to see the Brawler get a PPV win.

 

Indecent Proposal Match: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn. We just saw it tonight, and a Noble win has many more possibilities storyline-wise...but much like the last time Torrie Wilson was supposed to have sex on TV, there's no way they can properly blow that off.

 

My basic rule on ordering a PPV is to give me three matches I care about, and I'm undecided on the three way, but the other two title matches could be must-sees. So if the WWE Title match has your interest then you might want to consider ordering this one. Myself, I'll probably go to BW3 and spend my $35 on food and beer.

 

If you like 20 minute main events and solid matches, this show might be your thing. Just fast forward past twenty of the first thirty minutes.

 

Until next time, I want your feedback, so send it to me, and check out my archives.

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