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News... to US!, July 20, 2002
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Oct 3 2002, 11:18 AM
Post #1





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What a week, eh? We get another rehashed Commissioner/GM/Owner angle with “surprise” people(although one wasn’t necessarily a surprise) and my DirecTV system decides to be a pain in the ass. Life isn’t fair sometimes. Honestly, I think I’ve become WAY too cynical towards the product lately, but man, the bitterness just keeps on coming everytime I sit down and watch the WWE blow storyline after storyline, especially with as loaded a roster that they have. And we have Vengeance coming up this weekend with literally NO hype whatsoever for the main event or any match in the midcard and with the N.W.O. disbanded, the big angle surrounding if Triple H was going to join or not just went down into a pile of burning wreckage, as well as the Booker T feud that was supposed to FINALLY put him over for good(although Kevin Nash’s injury pretty much torpedoed that). I’m gonna go watch the show at Hooters, but I’ll be damned if it’ll be worth it. I’m gonna save my predictions for the show until the end of the column because I really need to get back to playing Final Fantasy X(Yes, I have no life.).


And now… ON WITH THE NEWS!!!



NO GO FOR JERICHO

In a less-than shocking bit of news, Chris Jericho’s scheduled match with rook, John Cena, has been scrapped for Vengeance for some strange reason and it looks like he’ll be pulling a Backlash and just do a run-in. What I want to know is WHY? I know you feel the need to constantly bury him due to the failure of a title run earlier this year, but COME ON! This rookie’s been allowed to hang in there with Kurt Angle, get put over by Undertaker, and pimp slap Jericho? What the fuck? Hey, it’s nice that Kurt, Taker, and Chris are agreeing to this, but dammit, this is getting ridiculous and now Jericho isn’t even going to go over this guy at the PPV after Cena’s done all but beat him cleanly? What a steaming load of horseshit. Hope that WWE contract you just signed pays well, Chris, because you probably aren’t going to be nothing more than a glorified midcarder from now on(PLEASE prove me wrong, WWE, I beg of you).

Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer




SLOWLY CREEPIN’ BACK UP

Probably the brightest bit of news since Brockberg got an ACTUAL POP from the fans at RAW, Smackdown’s rating for this week ended up as a 3.4, which is slightly up from last week’s 3.3, so maybe Vince won’t panic and change directions AGAIN when Vengeance bombs. Honestly, since I can’t get Smackdown, I have no clue as to how the shows go except from a secondhand source like our very own Dr. Tom, so maybe they FINALLY made some improvements since the last time I saw it(the last show before the split). All I can say is if they keep at least ONE cruiser match on every show, it will help the show, BUT they have to ditch the “WWE-style” garbage and let the lucha flow, dammit. Rey Mysterio, Jr. is someone who CAN’T comfirm to the WWE style of resthold-a-mania and signature spots because it just makes all those kickass promos worthless because he’ll just become Faceless WWE Wrestler #261 and he won’t get over. And thus ends the lesson.

Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer and Nielson Media Research




HEARTLAND GETS A HEART ATTACK

In a cost-cutting measure, the WWE has dropped HWA(Heartland Wrestling Association) as a developmental fed and has moved all of their future prospects to OVW. At the same time, they released some talent with a few notable names like Mike Sanders and E.Z. Money. They DID, however, retain Johnny The Bull, Shannon Moore, and The Island Boyz who will soon become regulars on WWE TV real soon. Man, I REALLY don’t want to be next to Jay Bower if he hasn’t heard about this already. Honestly, with all the dead weight that floats around on the shows as it is(Big Show, Rikishi, Godfather, I’m looking at YOU), so why not fire THEM? At least Sanders and Money are both young, in shape, and don’t suck ass in the ring. Wasting your(and the viewing public’s) time on guys who’ve been around and haven’t drawn a dime isn’t good business sense. Hell, they got Eric Bischoff, he should be a GLOWING testament to that very practice with his tenure as WCW Vice President. Man, you’d think they’d learn from the failure that was WCW, eh?

Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer




DUMBASSES AND THE NWA

You just can’t win sometimes, eh? Some dipshit at the NWA: TNA show decided that his “My Name is Chad” sign was more important than what was probably an awesome match in Low-Ki/A.J. Styles X-Division Title match. While the security managed to throw the fucker out without gaining the crowd’s attention, the bastard somehow got back in the building and when security threw him out AGAIN, it attracted the crowd’s attention and they just completely ignored the match. I would ask WHY you would purposely get yourself thrown out of an event you PAID to go to, but then I remember that beer does many strange things to the minds of the weak. Sigh…

Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer




BYRON’S VENGEANCE PREDICTIONS

Well, to say this may be a lackluster PPV, is putting it lightly, I think…

3-Way for the WWE Undisputed Championship- Undertaker© vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Rock:

Well, they pretty much telegraphed this with the stip for the KOTR and Brockberg’s winning of said tourney. Also, with that magazine info leaking out(albeit rather conveiniently), it’s pretty much set in stone that Rock will probably walk away with the title, no matter HOW much it disgusts me. They may do a swerve and put it on Angle and then job him to Rock on Smackdown, but I doubt it.

Winner: The Rock


WWE Tag Team Championship- Hulk Hogan/Edge© vs. Team Canada(Christian and Lance Storm):

Am I not the only one who smells an Edge heel turn? Sure, it’d be fun, but ultimately useless since he’d be like the 3rd level heel on Smackdown behind Jericho and Angle. As for the match itself, Edge will do the work while Hogan poses and takes the hot tag to save the young whippersnapper from the vile Canadians(hehehe…), so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the champs retain to further the feud.

Winners: Edge and Hogan


WWE IC Championship- Brockberg(w/Paul Heyman) vs. Rob Van Dam©:
I forsee a Dusty Finish just because it’d be pointless to make RVD look weak, yet since they are so intent on pushing Brockberg, why give him a secondary title?

Winner: Brock by DQ


WWE Cruiserweight Championship- Jamie Noble©(w/ Nidia) vs. Billy Kidman:

What? No Hurricane rematch? I just don’t see Noble losing the belt til Mysterio debuts on TV because while Hurricane is still pretty kickass, they’ve screwed with the character too much and their last match at KOTR was pretty average stuff.

Winner: Jamie Noble


WWE Women’s Championship- Molly Holly© vs. Torrie Wilson:

WHAT. THE. FUCK. How the hell did THIS get booked for a PPV? I know you can’t run the Trish/Molly feud into the ground, but dammit, leave the eye candy OUT of the fucking ring, thank you.

Winner: Molly, as if there was any doubt.


No DQ/No Countout- Booker T vs Big Slow:

Why, God, WHY? The only way this is even worth a fraction of my time is if Booker goes over clean. If Big Slow squashes him, I’m DONE with this company until they reach their senses.

Winner: Booker T


Tag Team Table Match- The New Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Benoit and Eddy Guerrero:

Benoit and Guerrero go over. That’s the only acceptable outcome of this match. Then they start a feud with BookerDust and elevate each other at the same time.

Winners: Benoit/Guerrero


Oh yeah, that Triple H fella is supposed to choose between RAW and Smackdown on the show, too, which makes no fucking sense whatsoever, but they still had to compensate for the destruction of the NWOld.



Well, that’s about all from me, be sure to check the site for the staff’s reactions to the PPV in the SmartMarks Crossface and also be on the lookout for Damian Gonzalez’s recap of the show and RAW from JHawk’s Beak on Monday. I’ll be back for the Crossface and the Friday news update.

Til then, enjoy the show!(Bwhahahahahahhaha!!!!)

Peace out, beeeyootches!


Byron Vester
TheSmartMarks.com
E-mail me at: [email protected]
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