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News... To US!, August 10, 2002
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Oct 3 2002, 11:20 AM
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Man, there’s nothing that gets me in the mood to do the news than computer fuck-ups, I tell ya. This will be the THIRD TIME I’ve sat down to try and do this damned thing because the Compaq PC that my brother uses kept fucking TURNING OFF ON ME! He said he was going to reformat the damn thing 2 weeks ago and, lo and behold, HE DIDN’T! Sigh… Anyways, I just got the Lord of the Rings 2-disc DVD a couple of days ago and I must say that it FUCKING ROCKS! Of course, if you didn’t go watch the movie and are curious as to what’s on it, our very own O.R. Polk, Jr. brought the content in his excellent review, so I highly recommend that you check that out and if you have the spending money, get the DVD.

On a somewhat lighter side of my crappy life, I damn near tore my knee ligaments all to hell AGAIN while walking down a goddamn staircase, so I’m filled up with the best pain medicine that money can buy and I’ll be damned if I can even see straight right now to type… Ahhh, fuck it, Word will correct my dumb ass anyway, so why worry?

On the anime front, my local FYE just got beefed up their anime section with a TON of new shit that they didn’t have before(Gundam: 08th MS Team, Sailor Moon, Samuari X, Gundam 0083, AHHH, My Goddess!, Cowboy Bebop, and Outlaw Star), so I’m gonna be burning some big bucks in the near future without a doubt!



Okay, now that we got the loser shit out of the way, ON WITH THE NEWS!



SMACKDOWN CRAPS OUT

While they DO have an excuse for this week, Smackdown pulled in a ridiculously sad 2.7 rating. Obviously, the loss of the NY and LA markets really fucked this show over because from all the reports I’ve heard, it was pretty damn good(damn DirecTV). The WWE dodges a huge bullet just because of the circumstances behind the low rating, but if next week’s show bombs out, then Vince McMahon may need to do some SERIOUS housecleaning(although he should have done so a few weeks ago, IMO).

Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer and Nielson Media Research




FINK LIVES UP TO HIS NAME

In a pathetic bit of news, it’s been reported that Lillian Garcia wasn’t supposed to be the one squashed by the Island Boyz on RAW. Apparently, when Howard Finkel heard about the booking of the segment, he got it changed to what you saw(or didn’t see if you’re from Canada) on air. Personally, I really hated the segment because why should we give a flying fuck about the announcers in the first place? Wow… two overweight Samoan wrestlers beat the fucking snot out of a female ring announcer, what a travesty… You know, I’ll bet Brian Gerwitz’s stupid ass had something to do with this one. Hey Brian, here’s a thought: The fans might actually give a damn if the Island Boyz beat the hell out of someone who’s, y’know, POPULAR. And maybe, just maybe, THEY SHOULD HAVE AN ACTUAL MATCH FOR ONCE! Christ, it’s like all semblance of logic just vaporized from the bookers’ heads once WrestleMania 17 was over with…

Please credit Dave Scherer of 1wrestling.com




CAN THE SECOND TIME BE “THAT DAMN GOOD”

For all those Triple H conspiracy theorists of the world, here’s something that may tickle you hating bone. Apparently, Triple H has a new DVD coming out… What’s that, you say? HHH already has a DVD out? Well, the joke of you because Trip’s has a second video coming out around on September 10 called “That Damn Good”. Obviously, this is just a LITTLE bit strange considering that Hunter’s last disc came out just last month. Maybe they want to make all the money off of him while he can still walk upright or something. I haven’t bought the last one because I’ve got other purchases that are of higher priority(The motherfuckin’ SIMPSONS, beeeyoootch!), but I may get it one day just for Flair/Steamboat match because I could really care less about what the fuck Helmsly thinks on ANYTHING right now.

Please credit Dave Scherer of 1wrestling.com




NWA:TNA NEWS AND NOTES

Jeremy Borash has posted his latest From The Inside on NWATNA.com and he had quite a bit to say. Here’s a couple of clips:

"Wednesday's show was possibly my favorite to date. The wrestling was great, and the crowd was as hot as they have ever been. It really makes a difference.

Kid Kash will debut this week for NWA TNA.

In a strange turn of events, Jai (pronounced Jay), the Dupps blow-up doll, was miraculously missing after the show on Wednesday night, but was later found in the passenger seat of NWA VP Bill Behrens' car. He claimed it was only there so he could drive in the carpool lanes without getting pulled over.

Shark Boy will be making his first on camera appearance for NWA TNA this week. He is a great talent that possesses a very hungry, yet positive attitude.

TNA Saturday Morning in Nashville has seen a continual ratings increase since we started, as have the amount of buys with Direct TV. Thankfully, those numbers are factual.

Prime Time Brian Lee will be in a dark match this week."


To read the full article, click >here


He goes on to announce a few of the matches signed for next week’s episode like Elix Skipper/Monty Brown in a Detroit Streetfight(Brown BETTER job here, he has NO RIGHT to go over Skipper), new X-Division champion, Low-Ki, defends his newly won title against the Flying Elvis’ in a Fatal 4-Way match, and a few new faces will show up like Kid Kash and Shark Boy. So, next week’s show should be LOADED and I strongly urge you all to check it out.

Please credit Jeremy Borash of NWATNA.com




BRET GOES HOME

In a bit of refreshing news, Bret “Hitman” Hart was released from the hospital following his bout with that stroke. Marcy Engelstein, Bret’s personal assistant released this to the press:

"We are pleased to let you know that Bret was discharged from the hospital last Friday and has now begun his long road to recovery as an our patient," she said. "Bret is working very hard in physical therapy five days per week, which will continue for the next few months, at least. Reports that Bret is expected to make a 100 percent recovery in about a year aren't quite accurate. While that would certainly be his ultimate reward, it may be more realistic to say that while it is expected that Bret will make very significant progress within the coming year, he will then be able to evaluate for himself what work still remains to be done in his recovery.

"That said, Bret has already made very impressive strides in regaining the use of the left side of his body, which was paralyzed by a stroke on June 24th. His prior conditioning, along with that same stubborn tenacious determination that drove him to accomplish so many achievements in his career are largely his motivation through exhausting rehabilitation. He is bound and determined to come back 100 percent. He is, even now, an inspiration."


Obviously, this is great news and I certainly hope and pray for a speedy recovery for Bret. To read the Calgary Sun article on him, click here


Please credit Wade Keller of the Pro Wrestling Torch and the Calgary Sun





Well, that’s all from me for now. Be sure to check back on Sunday for Damian Gonzalez and his Top 5 News Items of the Week, as well as Retro Rob doing Confidential on Saturday, Edward Robbins bringin’ the Heat on Sunday, and RAW from Jhawk’s Beak on Monday. I’m going to have my review of the WWE Stone Cold Steve Austin- “What?” DVD done by tomorrow, so peep that too, even if it’s to tell me how much I suck.

Later, beeeeeyootches!


Byron Vester
The SmartMarks.com
E-mail me at: [email protected]
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