News... To US!, August 17, 2002
News... To US!, August 17, 2002
Oct 3 2002, 11:21 AM
Hey freaks! I’m back once again to hit you off before the weekend. Before we get to the news, I gotta say something first, Cartoon Network made me mark the fuck out today with the He-Man: Masters of the Universe movie they showed on Toonami. Hell, I can go as far to say that they made it BETTER than the original series, especially with the characterization of Prince Adam. BUT… I have one problem, though. BATTLE-CAT DIDN’T TALK! I know, I know, that’s minor horseshit, but dammit, Gringer/Battle-Cat was one of my favorites(Hell, still have his action figure) and for CN to miss that kinda shocks me. One other thing, Man-At-Arms looked fuckin’ BADASS in the movie and that had me marking out even MORE! Oh yeah, Teila was smokin’ hot, too. None of that ultra-lame stuck-up prude look, she’s a REAL WOMAN NOW, BABY! Yeah, I’m a loser, how’d you guess?
Getting away from He-Man, pretty soon, I’m gonna have my hands on a copy Neon Genesis Evangelion: Death & Rebirth and to be honest, I can’t wait any longer. I’ve been wanting to check this out since Amazon.com announced it’s US release 3 months ago. Now, for all you anime rooks, Death & Rebirth is NOT the end of Evangelion, THAT will be the second movie, End of Evangelion, and is due out in September. Basically, D & R goes like this: Death covers everything that happens during the season of Evangelion up to the showdown with the 17th Angel and Rebirth is an alternate ending to the series and if you’ve seen the last two episodes, you’ve probably wondered “What the FUCK was that?”. Unfortunately, I’m kinda pressed for time, so I can’t give it to ya now, but tune into the next update from yours truly and I’ll be glad to explain.
Okay, geeky shit out of the way, let’s get on with the news!
SMACKDOWN GETS BOOSTED
Vince is probably loving this because Smackdown managed to actually GO UP this week in the ratings, clocking in at a good 3.5 on Thursday. Personally, it was the first SD show I’ve seen since the week before the split and I pretty much liked it a lot, predictable finish in the main event and mindless DQ horseshit in the tag match aside. Oh, and I can’t forget about Nidia’s hitting on Funaki, which had me on the floor laughing. Also, this show was a good compliment to the RAW from this week and even added some matches to the SummerSlam card(Rey/Angle, and Eddy/Edge hopefully). Let’s see if they can keep it up for 2 weeks in a row, eh?
Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer and Nielson Media Research
In a scary bit, it seems that Howard Stern’s been yuking it up with Vinnie Mac about appearing at SummerSlam and a very other things(like starting up his own promotion… yikes!). But, thankfully, Howard said no, so all is right with the world for now. Seeing that Mister Stern is not exactly the most open-minded guy out there(more like spineless jellyfish when someone gets tired of his stuff like Booker did), I could in NO WAY see this ever being successful at ALL. Take a hint, Stern… stick with radio and Son of a Beach.
Please credit Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer
YOUR DAILY HOSS REPORT
Jim Ross updated his Ross Report today and shockingly enough, there’s little to no traces of any hosses to be found! Oh course, he DID put over the Triple H/HBK match at the PPV, but that’s to be expected, ya know? Jim even puts over Chris Jericho, his band Fozzy, and his upcoming match against Da Nature Boy, Ric Flair. Now THAT’S dedication. Ross also acknowledges Bret Hart’s stroke and current recovery and even says some kind words for both him and Steve Austin.
He also puts over all the OVW/TE kids, the upcoming books by Hulk Hogan and Jerry “The King” Lawler and even pimps out Fabulous Moolah’s book. Nice to see that when he can’t talk about hosses, that he can still shill with the best of ‘em. He goes on to speak about the Hardy Boys’ potential now that they are on separate shows, the imminent return of Chris Kanyon(WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!).
Odd, isn’t it? He week the shows get better, even the Ross Report ends up being a good read, to quote Paul E., “What a fuckin’ business!”. Indeed it is.
Please credit Jim Ross of WWE.com
TNA ODDS AND ENDS
Jeremy Borash also updated his weekly column over at NWATNA.com as he announced big matches for the next show on Wednesday. And apparently, since the X-Division is what everyone wants to see(DUH!), the next show will be full of it with A.J. Styles vs. Jerry Lynn in a 2 out of 3 falls match, Sonny Siaki vs. Jimmy Yang, and Low-Ki defending the X-Title against all three members of the Spanish Announce Team in a Fatal Four-Way Match like last episode with the Flying Elvises. Should be a great show aside from one thing and that’s the announced NWA Title match with Ron Killings/The Truth defending his title against Monty Brown in a match that’s guaranteed to suck some serious ass. Brown shouldn’t even HAVE this damn shot because there are more deserving guys on the goddamn roster. And people thought Brock Lesnar is getting a push from Hell, this guy’s had like 2 or 3 matches and he gets a shot just like that! Oh well, at least his sorry ass is fuckin’ jobbing or else I may have to pay Jerry Jarrett a late night visit with cruel intentions…
Please credit Jeremy Borash and NWATNA.com
Well, that’s pretty much it for me tonight. Be sure to drop on by and check out Damian Gonzalez bringing the Top 5 News Items of the week and your God and mine, Dr. Tom for the Midweek News. I’ll be back for Friday as always, but in the meantime, check out my DVD review of Stone Cold Steve Austin: “What?”. Yeah, I’m pulling a Ross, so sue me. Just don’t call me Tony Shiavone, though. I don’t wanna have to do bodily harm to you…
Peace out, bootches!(Only 6 people are going to get that, so don’t worry about it)
E-mail me at: [email protected]
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