News... To US!, August 31, 2002
News... To US!, August 31, 2002
Oct 3 2002, 11:22 AM
Welcome, welcome one and all to another edition of the Smart Marks exclusive… NEWS… TO US! Now, about my disappearing at last week, I had to work TWO 15+ hour workdays on Friday and Saturday, so by the time I actually got home(around 12:30 to 1:00 am), I was completely wiped the fuck out and promptly went straight to bed since I need my beauty sleep, ya know? What pissed me off though was that management didn’t even warn before this shit because someone else was supposed to work that damned shift, but he got sick and they “volunteered” my services. Fick, fick, fick!
Anyways, bitter real life horseshit out of the way, IT’S FUCKING FOOTBALL SEASON, BOOOOOYYYYEEEEEE! Man, I’ve been waiting and waiting for August to get here forever(well yeah… my B-Day’s on the 14th, too… Heh.), so I’m fucking STOKED to finally see some gridiron action that I’m also in like 85 damn fantasy football leagues, plus one organized by the board, so if I win just ONE of them, expect to see some major gloating in here, hehehehe. On a sidenote, anybody who gets cute and calls me J.R. will be shot. Thank you.
Well, that’s enough pretentious rambling, so ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!
Was Smackdown a damn good show or what? Sure, Undertaker interjecting himself in the main event as the mystery person kinda sucked ass, but at least GOD Benoit and SAVIOUR Angle were allowed to work the match pretty much by themselves without The American Deadweight completely stinking up the joint. Add in a couple of great matches like Eddy/Edge and Rico/Rey and consider me a satisfied customer. Oh, and god forbid, I’m actually enjoying Matt Hardy right now and while they didn’t really push his blossoming heel turn on the show, he sold like a champ for Brock Lesnar and actually made that squash watchable, which is what they should have done with Lesnar in the first place.
Here’s how I rated the matches:
Eddy/Edge: Great effort from both guys as Eddy shows why he’s always been considered one of the best heels ever with his CHEAT TO WIN~! rudo badass self. The trick with the chairs was just insanely brilliant and Edge was game for everything like at SummerSlam. ***. Would have been higher if this match had gotten more time, but fuck it.
Cena/D-Von: Well, I don’t understand why this got so much time. D-Von looked REALLY lost once he drained the moveset, but at least John Cena sold well enough. Don’t get the finish either, but I guess they wanted to build the Bautista feud some more(as if anybody actually cared). *1/4
Eddy/Rikishi: WHY was Rikishi such a huge part of this tourney? I mean, the match wasn’t terrible or anything, but COME ON! Give me Eddy/Benoit since that would open up a side issue AND be entertaining to boot. Gah… sometimes I wonder what the bookers are thinking when they write this stuff. *1/2
Rico/Rey: Awesome, AWESOME match that managed to show off the talent of both guys. Hell, I wouldn’t even know Rico was already in his 40’s with some of the great stuff he did in this match and dammit, that moonsault was BEAUTIFUL! Even better than Kurt Angle’s, which is very impressive. Oh, I can’t forget about the Cruiserweight GOD, Rey Mysterio, JR.. The triple jump moonsault? The springboard rana? GET THE F OUT! Rey is ruling it now and dammit, I’m glad I can actually see it for once. ***
Moore/Tajiri: Got kinda slow in the middle with all the chinlocks by Tajiri and the cobra clutch being sold as chinlock too was kinda lame. Still, once they got going, it was a pretty good match with a very vanilla finish. Shannon Moore needs a damn finsher, so why isn’t he doing some of his awesome shit from WCW? Bleh… **
Benoit/Rikishi: Bleh, just filler. At least Rikishi tapped like a bitch to the Crossface. Benoit continues to be a god in the ring by carrying slugs to watchable matches. *1/4
Benoit/Angle/Taker: Great match. I can live with Taker getting the win if it means he’s being fed to Brock and not getting the belt again. The question IS however, will he sell at all for Lesnar? He didn’t do it for Angle or Benoit when he was in the DOUBLE SUBMISSION OF DOOM~! unlike Steve Austin when he was feuding with the Canadian Chrises, he didn’t do it for Triple H, Test, or anyone else for that matter. Honestly, this has to be the last time Taker main events and hopefully someone will finally talk some sense into him about, you know, actually SELLING someone’s moves. ***1/4
SMACKDOWN TAKES A DIVE AGAIN
Due to a shitload of pre-emptions, Smckdown’s Thursday rating was pretty putrid coming in at a 3.1. Personally, I loved the show as you can see above. Smackdown is supposed to be aired tonight in all the markets that missed it due to pre-season NFL football like New York, but don’t expect the rating to be that much higher. I just hope Vince doesn’t panic and do another direction change since the Smackdown side of shows have been doing pretty strong quality-wise and really that’s what they need to worry about now.
Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer and Nielson Media Research
BORASH ANNOUNCES X-DIVISION SPECIAL
Jeremy Borash posted his latest column over at NWATNA.com and announced that next week, the NWA will be showing a special called Special X, which is a kind of behind-the-scenes look at the X-Division and some candid interviews with Jerry Lynn, AJ Styles, and Lo-Ki. Also, some more people are interviewed like Mike Tenay and they give their opinion on who the best X-Division performer is. I’m looking forward to this special personally. As long as the show doesn’t have a serious overabundance of the Lynn/Styles feud, I think the show will be well worth paying for, so count me in.
Please credit Jeremy Borash of NWATNA.com
JR GETS PISSY
Ever think the internet isn’t getting to good ol’ JR? Well a glance at his latest Ross Report wouldn’t convince so as Jimmy Boy takes a shot at those who “read between the lines”. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Delusional old coot. Annyways, along with the usual pimping of Marl Henry and Bull Buchanan, he puts over how great SummerSlam was along with Smackdown(!!) and actually criticized RAW. Just amazing, I tell ya. He goes on to put over guys like Eddy Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero, Jr., William Regal, and “underrated talents(HA!) like Justin Credible and Steven Richards. Oddly enough, he says that the Un-Americans are “on the verge of something special”, but the next step is up to them. Well, Ross, if they WEREN’T booked to be Undertaker and Kane’s bitches, maybe they would have some goddamn credibility, wouldn’t you say? Ugh… self-fulfilling prophecies, I tell ya. What horseshit. You can read the entire report here
Please credit Jim Ross of WWE.com
Well, that’s about it for me, this would have been up sooner, but college football and stubborn family members are a bitch, ya know? Dames will be hitting you up with his Top 5 News Items of the Week tomorrow, Retro Rob will drop Confidential as always, and Edward is bringin’ da Velocity, so be sure to check them all out.
As for me, I’m going to be working on a special project tomorrow that I hope to have up on the site by Monday, plus I plan on doing a DVD review of N.W.O.: Back In Black, so be on the lookout for that next week along with my usual news column.
E-mail me at: [email protected]
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