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Top 5 News Items of the Week!, October 7, 2002
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Nov 3 2002, 12:30 PM
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Howdy, folks! Hope your weekend didn’t suck as much as mine did. I swear my Crimson Tide can’t seem to buy a 4th quarter comeback these days. First, Tyler Watts fumbled the goddamn ball against Oklahoma on what would have been the game-winning drive and now Crolye throws an interception when Bama’s driving down the field with a minute left on the clock to hopefully tie the game… Man, I can’t take any more of these if the Bama QBs are gonna keep fucking up like that. And while I’m on the subject of college football, I would just like to say this: If Ken Dorsey wins the Heisman this year, it’ll pretty much be like Eric Crouch winning last year, a complete joke. Like it or not Cane fans, Dorsey is an AVERAGE QB. I’ve watched the guy for the last 2 to 3 years and he’s done NOTHING remarkable. If it weren’t for all the great talent Miami has at running back, Dorsey would be eating turf all day on Saturdays. Now, I’m not saying Miami isn’t the best team in the nation, because they are, but if Dorsey wins the Heisman while being the epitome of mediocre, then I’m gonna be pissed.


On the NFL front, my precious Jags beat the stuffing out of the high and mighty Philly Eagles, so I’m on cloud fuckin’ 9 right now. I’m not taking anything away from Donovan McNabb(pretty much the best QB in the NFC), but they need a competent RB for once because having McNabb be both the best passer(duh!) and the best running back in a game is downright pitiful. Either way, I’m just estatic that my team beat(more like dominated) a Super Bowl contender, so yay for me!!!



Okay, football out of the way, let’s get to the rasslin’ news now, shall we?





TOP 5 NEWS ITEMS OF THE WEEK





5. ‘CAUSE I’MA FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIM… HUH?

This cracked the top 5 because I found it funny as hell. Apparently, some soccer guy over in England has a habit of ripping off the hand staring pose and the Spinneroonie whenever he scores a goal. Unfortunately, all the British newspapers and other media outlets don’t seem to realize that Booker T made that famous, even though the WWE is huge over there. What I wonder is if the boy actually has the rhythm to not look like a complete fool while doing the move and if Booker went on the last Rebellion show because I could have sworn he did because the British media can’t possibly be this stupid as to NOT make the connection…

Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer




4. NEVER GONNA STOP!

Speaking of the Rebellion show, the line-up for the next one was announced on the UK broadcast of Smackdown and will supposedly be main evented by Brock Lesnar/Edge for the WWE Title(why not just call it the Smackdown Title now?) with a few notable matches like Kuet Angle/Undertaker, and Rey Mysterio/Jamie Noble for the Cruiserweight Title. Personally, the main event sounds good with Edge’s rapidly increasing popularity and workrate, so it should help Brock in the long term by having him beat a top level face and it should elevate Edge some more by being the the main event for once. I wonder what they’ll do with Chris Benoit and Eddy Guerrero on this show, especially since it’s the week after No Mercy… Maybe a Benoit/Guerrero feud? BTW, the show date is the 26th and I’m sure us Yanks will be getting a super hacked up version on PPV a few days later for the WWE Fanatics series crap… Ugh.

Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer




3. HEYMAN IS A GOD… OR MAYBE NOT

Heyman’s booking is single-handedly saving Smackdown, ratings-wise because this week, the show actually tied RAW with a 3.6 and I wonder how Steph is going to take credit for it all since her segments on the show have been diminishing somewhat as wrestling starts taking over the show again with a pretty good Angle/Edge match and a damn good three weeks overall with combinations of Angle/Benoit/Eddy/Edge/Rey all bringing the workrate while PoochieTaker limps around and no-sells for the friggin’ WWE Champion…

Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer and Nielson Media Research




2. NWA: TNA LINE-UP FOR WEEK XVI

Not that I particularly care, but Jeremy Borash announced the line-up for Week 16 of the NWA:TNA show and here it is:

James Storm & Chris Harris vs. SATs

Syxx Pac & Scott Hall & B.G. James vs. Jeff Jarrett & Brian Lawler & Ron Killings

Jerry Lynn vs. A.J. Styles ladder match

Kid Kash vs. Low Ki vs. Ace Steele vs. Tony Mamaluke



Not to rain on anyone’s parade, but the Styles/Lynn feud is boring as hell now. Fuck, I can’t even remember why Styles turned heel to begin with. Storm/Harris vs. the SATs will probably be the only worthwhile match on the card, especially with the 6-man suckfest on the card. Why the hell is Lawler all of the sudden buddies with Jarrett again? Wasn’t he running around talking about how he was gonna kick Jeff’s ass over something that was never revealed? And speaking of Lawler, why the hell is he dragging around his “girlfriend” on the show now? I mean, hell, why give a damn? He single-handedly ruined the tag match with Elix Skipper by running out of the ring and telling her not to move. C’mon Jerry and Vince… it’s friggin’ TENNESSEE! Some guys get cheered for shit like that. Sigh…

Please credit Jeremy Borash of NWATNA.com




1. YOUR HONOR-UH, SHE’S-UH A MAN-UH!

Triple H got called to the stand in the Nicole Bass lawsuit and was apparently asked if the Stephanie relationship was serious and he pointed out that Linda McMahon was in the audience and said, “I’d say it is.”. On the subject of Bass herself, he agreed with the various other wrestlers in saying that she wasn’t talented at all in the ring(gee, ya think so?), but he didn’t recall the incident involving Alicia Webb(Ryan Shamrock) where he supposedly “worked in” on her while she was in the bathroom. Damn… guess the roids, wait.. I mean “medication” started getting to his brain, I guess. I’d be worried if he started dressing like Jeff Hardy and had Smurfs puke all over his face before coming out to the ring…

Please credit Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer







That’s all from me for now, kiddies. Be sure to peep RAW from JHawk’s Beak from Jhawk(obviously) tonight after the show and both The Midweek News and The Smackdown Report from the esteemed Dr. Tom. I’ll be back with the Top 5 on Sunday and maybe if I have the time, an Anger Management rant since I haven’t done one since the Vince McMahon column, so be on the look out for it.


Later, bootches!



Byron Vester
The SmartMarks.com
E-mail me at: [email protected]
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