Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted October 3, 2002 THE MIDWEEK NEWS After last week's deviation from the usual format, we're back on the wagon this week. Thanks to those who emailed me to share stories and opinions about 9/11 (even if I disagreed with you), and still more thanks to those who shared reflections on the late, great Johnny Unitas. He was buried yesterday in his adopted hometown of Baltimore, in a ceremony that NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue was inexplicably allowed to taint with his oily presence. A bit more old business: in my column of two weeks ago, I offered my uncannily accurate playoff predictions for the NFL. However, the playoff information page I used on the NFL's own website was outdated. With the new divisional alignment this year, there are only two wild-card teams instead of three. So strike Indy and Washington from the wild-card predictions. Everything else stands, and there are a couple of teams who need to kick it up a notch or ten before fulfilling the destiny I set out for them. On the football note, memo to Josh Lowmon: make a league that has a dozen teams instead of the ridiculous 20, and we'll talk about "bringing it." Maybe we'd all do a little better if we didn't have to pick third-stringers in the ninth round because there are so goddamn many teams. I could point out that you're not exactly cooking with gas yourself, at 1-1, but what's the point, really? I'm in first place in my baseball money league (Prize: $375), and though it's early, I'm tied for first in my football money league (Prize: $250). Since I stand to make $600 playing fantasy sports, you can have that free Yahoo league, where the prize money is exactly $0. And you're right, I'm not in your league: I'm playing in the Hall of Fame game every year, and you're still kicking around in sandlot ball. I OWN you. Bitch. Now YOU bring it. (No, Josh and I aren't having one of those trendy "internet feuds" that IWC writers like to work the rubes by engaging in. We're not serious; we're just bantering, and now he's going to cower away from the fire he lit before making one of his patented punk-ass comebacks. Just for the curious among you.) There was no classic to spot last time, though there will be one this time. As always, Email me what you think is this week's hidden classic. Remove the leading X in both the name and domain fields. Quick note to Retro Rob: Thanks, but I didn't think of it. Herb Kunze is the first person I saw using it, and it looked like a good idea to cut down on spam. Which it has. With the old business out of the way, let's move on to all the news that's fit to steal, all the dirt that's fit to deal, and all the mud that's fit to sling. Pimpin' Hoes, Nationwide Jay Spree gives us the DVD news worth knowing this week. The always interesting Road Warriors sat down for a shoot interview, and Brandon Truitt waded thru it all to file this report. A bunch of us sat down and flung food, wrestling news, and insults at each other for the latest Crossface. JHawk insists he still has a beak, and he must have some good TV reception in that bad boy, because he's back on the Raw detail. I already pimped Josh, but just so he doesn't cry anymore than he's already going to, I'll mention his latest Brain Droppings column one more time RAW = Ratings Are Worthless Monday's episode of Raw earned a 3.4 rating from the Nielsen folks. More disturbing is that the individual hours were 3.5 and 3.4, meaning people tuned out as the show went on. That's the opposite of what usually happens during WWE shows. Maybe the fans are tired of things like HLA that titillate a portion of the audience, but come across as useless filler to people who actually watch a wrestling show for the (gasp!) wrestling. (Credit: 1wrestling.com, Nielsen Media Research) RAW: The Cliff Notes As always, check out JHawk's Raw Report for your detailed recapping needs. (Hey, a body's late with the news once, and he gets an "if he's on time?" Hmph. See if I plug you again! What? Well, after this week, I guess. Yeah. Take THAT!) -- Rico vs. Flair: On the one hand, if you're going to have a 53 year-old man on the roster, he should be putting over the guys who will be getting the pushes. On the other hand, it's Ric FUCKING Flair, and I don't like seeing him used as a jobber to the stars after all he's done for the business. 4/10 -- Test vs. Booker: Something of a sloppy match between the former tag team partners, but it was a decent effort all around. It was Test's best match in a while, and Booker continues to be massively over. 5/10 -- Storm/Christian vs. Dudleys v2.0: Certainly a long match, but it never really went anywhere IMO, and I'm not a big fan of Spike in tag team matches. 2/10 -- RVD vs. Jericho: Considering this is about the 400th time these two have gotten it on since the split, a decent match is expected. Rob basically ignoring the punishment his back had taken to go on offense (monkey flip, Rolling Thunder – things that use the back) is becoming an annoying habit. Someone needs to teach him some ring psychology to use between his nifty pop-the-crowd spots. Jericho wins the IC title, freeing up Rob to (snicker) win the Big Gold Belt this Sunday. 4/10 -- Kane vs. Regal: This was quickly revealed as a set up for the eight-man match at the PPV (Booker/Goldust/Kane/Bubba vs. Storm/Christian/Regal/Test), which I was disappointed to hear won't be under Survivor Series rules. 1/10 -- HHH vs. Jeff Hardy: Gah, what's with the Hardys suddenly showing up in the main event all over the place. Maybe if Jeff had managed to connect on one goddamn move, I'd think differently about him, but the best contact he made was kicking HHH in the side of the head on the corkscrew moonsault. Pathetic. It's becoming obvious he doesn't give a shit, so why should any of us? Like you need me to tell you who won-uh. 1/10 Other Happenings: HHH was all over the place, showing up in the main event (of course), cutting Bland Heel Promo #17, and appearing in about 100 backstage vignettes. Jeff Hardy got the equivalent of a "Desire" video (the joke is too easy there), then went out and stunk up the joint against HHH. I'm not a big fan of either Hardy, but at least Matt puts on watchable matches and doesn't look like he's on the Supermodel Heroin Diet. "Protesters" from the "International Organization for Women" feigned a protest about Raw's treatment of the fairer sex, but it was just a ruse that allowed Stephanie to kick Easy E in the sack. Billy and Chuck then dispatched the Island Boys, setting up a tag match for this Sunday. Bischoff added a stip: if Billy and Chuck win, he'll kiss Stephanie's ass, but if the Island Boys win, Steph has to do some HLA. I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to determine whether the head writer would want her ass kissed in public, or be forced to awkwardly make out with another chick on a PPV. Bischoff continues to be the face in this little feud, but no one in WWE sees it. RVD and HHH had a couple of scrums to set up their match Sunday. Some of the booking makes me think Rob is going over, but then I remembered which one is the Golden Boy who's slipping the baloney pony to the head writer (hint: it's not the guy who points to himself all the time). There still hasn't been a hard sell for the PPV yet, so we'll see what Smackdown adds in that respect. In toto, I'd give Raw a 3/10 and just wait for the better show to take over on Thursday. The Next Big Babyface? Since Brock Lesnar has been getting some nice face reactions of late, the WWE creative team has toyed with the idea of turning him face. This would be good if he worked a program with Angle, since it would leave Angle as the likeable heel everyone loves to hate anyway. Lesnar's on-air manager, Paul Heyman, has been against this idea. He feels Lesnar still has a lot of steam left as a monster heel. I'll admit I've been enjoying his work in that role of late, after not thinking much of it since his debut. Of course, perennial heel Heyman would have to be cast aside as Lesnar's "agent" if the face turned happened, so it's always possible that Heyman's objections are partially born out of self-interest. He's also the head of the Smackdown writing team, so his say in the matter will probably end up being significant. (Credit: PWTorch.com newsletter) Startin' Up A Federation. What? The likelihood of Steve Austin making his return to WWE TV in the near future is small. WWE staff holds out hope for a Stone Cold return, but several sources close to Austin say the on-air burial was too much. (A few weeks ago, he was reported to be taking the whole thing in stride, so draw your own conclusions.) Interestingly enough, Austin is friends with another former main eventer who's been out of work for a while: Bill Goldberg. The two have apparently had some preliminary discussion about starting their own federation. Back when they were at the top of the cards in the WWF and WCW the two talked about promoting a match independent of their wrestling federations. Austin and Goldberg believe they have enough star power to attract a TV deal. Stay tuned for this one, especially as the year comes to a close. Austin is still under contract to WWE, of course, but he seems willing to legally challenge the no-compete clause. There are those who feel WWE contracts are flawed, and someone with the fame and fortune of Austin could test that theory in a court of law. This should certainly be interesting to watch as it develops. (Credit: PWTorch.com newsletter) Hulkamania Runs Wild On The Radio, Brother Hulk Hogan has made several radio appearances recently. He has had nothing but good things to say about his relationship with WWE. This goes against other reports that show Hogan still having some lingering unhappiness, but the positive public spin he's putting on things looks like a sign he'll keep working with Vince and Co. down the road. In another interview, Hogan was asked about the possibility of fellow fossil Randy Savage returning to WWE. Hogan's reply? "I hope not. I hate that son of a bitch." Hogan's reputation as a soothsayer is dubious, but that's a pretty strong comment on the nature of his relationship with Savage, which has been a matter of debate (for some reason) for some time now. (Credit: PWTorch.com newsletter, again) They Need To Cut Their Hair-uh Test and Christian have apparently been told by WWE higher-ups to cut their hair to the same length as that of stablemate Lance Storm. They were also told, "long hair is out." The two are understandably objecting to this, and are trying to get out of doing it. Some wrestlers have apparently been wondering if the ban on long hair would extend to HHH and Kevin Nash. I can see this conversation happening by phone . . . Test: Hello, eh? WWE "Management" Official: Test-uh, you need to cut your hair-uh. Long hair is out-uh. Test: What? Hunter, is that you? Wasn't that speech you gave to the locker room enough. What's this all aboot, eh? Official: I'm not Hunter-uh. You and Christian should both get your hair chopped to match Lance Storm's crewcut-uh. Test: This is bullshit, eh? I'm not doing it. Official: (the sound of spitting water is heard thru the phone line) You'll do it or I'll bury you-uh! I'll end your career-uh! You pretty boys and your long blond hair-uh are a threat to me and my top spot-uh. Not to mention that my hair-uh, which used to blond and full, has gotten all thin, ratty and stringy because I can't stop shooting that needle into my ass-uh. Be glad I'm not asking you to get your balls shrunk-uh! Er ... I mean-uh, this is an official decision-uh, so you have to comply-uh. Test: Fuck you, Hunter. (Credit: PWTorch newsletter) I Shall Return In The Dark And Be Seen Buff Bagwell will be making his return to NWA: TNA tonight. He was originally supposed to return as babyface "Mark Bagwell," but the angle was not completed due to funding problems. Just how long Bagwell is back in the fold for is not known. I'd guess he'll be a locker room cancer and a walking hunk of shit in the ring for at least four weeks, though. Sean ("X-Pac") Waltman and Scott Hall are also expected to return to TNA tonight. Waltman will use the name "Syxx-Pac," because Y's, double letters, and ghetto abbreviations are always cooler than finding a new gimmick or using your own name. Also, NWA: TNA talent will be hearing an announcement backstage this week, which is expected to be about some form of new funding. I still give them until Xmas. (Credit: Rajahwwf.com) Blame It On Napster, Part 841531915 The future of WWE's record label, Smackdown Records, is very much in doubt. The label's most prominent act, Nuerotica, has left the fold after only three months. The band said that WWE let them out of the contract voluntarily, because they could no longer honor their end of the deal and provide the services the band needed. Smackdown Records' viability has been a concern for a while now, and the label will probably be used exclusive for the release of WWE CDs in the future. That movie venture sure looks like a good idea now, doesn't it? (Credit: 411wrestling.com, blabbermouth.net) Drinking Beer, Kicking Ass, and Watching The Missus Faarooq (Ron Simmons) has been absent from WWE television for the past two months because he has been home, caring for his wife. Simmons' wife of fifteen years, Lottie Simmons, developed the vision problems while driving, and she and her husband are still seeking answers from specialists. WWE is giving Faarooq as much time as he needs to look after his wife, though he hopes to be back on the road in about a month. TSM sends its best to Ron and Lottie Simmons. (Credit: wwe.com) Odds, Ends, and Sundry Asides Nicole Bass' sexual harassment lawsuit against WWE has begun in NY. Vince McMahon is expected to testify tomorrow. X-Pac is considering some Japanese dates, in addition to NWA: TNA. How does "X-Pac sucks!" translate into Japanese? Next year's WrestleMania will be held at Safeco Field in Seattle. Vince McMahon apparently accepts that turning WWE around, both creatively and in the ratings, will be a long process. (Credit: Wrestlingobserver.com) And another edition of the Midweek News is in the books. You've probably noticed we're down to two news reports per week now, so look for Byron on Sunday. I'll be back tomorrow with Smackdown. Over and out. Dr. Tom (Remove the leading X from the name and domain fields) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
