Raw from JHawk's Beak (March 10, 2003)

[Guest TSMAdmin]

Raw from JHawk's Beak (3/10/2003)

by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

 

Forums Quote of the Week: Well, it's good to know that they got along while they didn't go to the TV tapings that week. -treble charged, hearing that Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan talked on a flight following No Way Out

 

Onto other stuff: I'm going to forego the E-Mail of the Week this week to get through some administrative stuff.

 

Special thanks to the eight of you (as of 6:30 pm Eastern this afternoon/evening) who e-mailed me (or responded in the Forums) to let me know the meaning of "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" like I asked for yesterday. The first explanation I saw was in the Forums from evlpurpose, so I'll let him explain it.

 

It used to be when you got a horse you looked at his teeth to check his health. If he was healthy and of good value, he had good health, bad teeth = bad horse. So if you got a gift horse you were supposed to be grateful to get it, and not look in his mouth to see if he was healthy and valuable.

 

And apparently, you can also tell the horse's age that way, as a few of you have stated as well. Thanks to everybody for that one. Oh, and for those of you who thanked me for sitting through Raw for you so you could sleep...you're very welcome.

 

Now to answer a couple of other questions that have been posed to me over the last couple of weeks:

 

1. I still intend to do the Today in Wrestling History and plan on doing one of those within the next two weeks.

 

2. Yes, I'll be reviewing more Ring of Honor shows, and if I can stay healthy this week you'll probably see one before the week's out.

 

So there you go.

 

By the way, happy Commonwealth Day to those of you in England, New Zealand, and Australia, as well as Happy Labour Day or Canberra Day for the rest of you Aussies out there.

 

Tonight: Is it really so hard to actually book a show in advance? The wwe.com preview, as of 90 minutes before showtime, listed just Booker T vs. The Rock and Shawn Michaels answering Chris Jericho's challenge. And we pretty much knew both of those after last week's show. And you wonder why I stayed home even though this show is less than a 90-minute drive from my house.

 

Let's get on with this, shall we?

 

Segment 1

 

Easy E has the heels backstage, and he was wrong to try to take Austin out last week. So tonight, he wants a warm welcome. Seriously. He's going to bury the hatchet tonight. Everybody got it? Chief Morley asks Bischoff if he's serious, and outside the door comes Rocky wants to be in pictures. He wants Morley out of the room. Rock says the match with Booker T won't happen. Don't you dare! Rocky says he doesn't want the World Title right now. He's never beat Austin at WrestleMania, and that's his true goal, so he doesn't need the match with Booker T tonight. Bischoff's cool with it, but what about the sponsors and fans who wanted to see The Rock in action tonight? Rocky agrees to wrestle...an opponent of his choice. Uh oh...

 

L-I-V-E LIVE (give or take seven seconds) from the Gund Arena in C-Town (that's Cleveland, Ohio for the slang impaired)! And let's talk over the introduction of the most over face not named Austin!

 

One fall: Rob................Van.............Dam and Kane vs. Y2J+3 and ChrisTIAN

 

Test apparently isn't here tonight, which I know makes most of you quite happy. But what about Stacy Keibler? Christian and RVD start. RVD gets the missed enzuigiri into the heel kick early for 2. Jericho tagged in, and RVD introduces him to a spinning leg lariat. Jericho gets an advantage, but RVD dropkicks Jericho as Y2J goes for a springboard bodyblock and tags in Kane. Kane works over both opponents and climbs on top, and down goes Jericho to a flying clothesline that gets 2.75. Kane grabs Jericho's throat, catches an incoming Christian by the throat, but they avoid the double choke slam. RVD tagged in and he levels Christian with a flying side kick, then the Rolling Thunder. Jericho lays Kane out and grabs RVD, but Christian misses RVD and hits Jericho, and it's RVD with the Five Star Frog Splash. But before he can cover, legal man Jericho hits the Asai moonsault for the pin at 3:24. That's it? Energetic at least. * Postmatch, Jericho walks to the back, but walks right into the Holy Bible Kid's superkick. HBK: "I'll see you at WrestleMania, boy!"

 

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COMMERCIAL BREAK

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This is normally where I'd bitch about a three minute match, but my only gripe is that Kane should have taken the fall. I'm more concerned with the blatant bait and switch here. You hype a match for a week, you presumably get some last minute ticket sales based on the week's worth of hype, and then you don't have the match? Fuck you! Unless there's an injury or a missed flight, then that's blatant false advertising. Shit like that is why WCW is out of business. If Rocky wins Hunter's title tonight... But on the bright side, they listened to me for once, so...

 

As for the match, it's about as good as you can get out of a three minute match, but like I said about the house show last night: No attempt was made to get Christian out of the ring, and yet you get the legal man issue.

 

Segment 2

 

Here come Booker T, just to hammer home the point that we got blatantly hosed out of the only advertised match tonight. Book's disappointed that The Rock doesn't want to fight, but onto other things. Last week, Hunter said Booker was an entertainer, not a competitor, and that "people like me are only here to lose to people like him." And he didn't lay him out because he is an entertainer, and he entertains the fans 24/7. But he wants to share something. He's the youngest of eight kids. His father passed away when he was a young kid. And yeah, he got thrown in jail. Aggravated arm robbery. And he sat in that cell for a long time, but when he got out, he said "You gotta make a stand." This isn't some Vanilla Ice story. This is real. And Hunter's never been through all of that. But if Hunter wants to see Booker dance...if people like him don't win championships...then why doesn't he walk down the aisle so he can "dance all over your punk ass"? Booker's waiting on him, but instead, we get The Man WHOO! About damn time he does something besides stand behind Hunter. Flair says Booker's not Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and he's damn sure not Triple H (and thank God for that). Nineteen months in the big house means Book's bad to the bone, but the cards he was dealt don't say "World Heavyweight Champion". So Flair gets to be Hunter's errand boy and say Hunter's not "stooping to Booker T's level". And next week in St. Louis, Booker will have two choices. Either meet Triple H's jet when it lands and carry his bags (not a goo