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MrRant

"An insane amount of ranch please."

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Stopped by Jack in the Box today for lunch and got a Chipotle Spicy Chicken Ciabatta, Cheddar and Bacon Potato Wedges and two tacos. I like to get ranch for the sandwich and especially the potato wedges so I did as usual and was asked if I wanted any sauce.

 

Me -"I'd like an insane amount of ranch please."

 

Her - *Confused look* "I'm sorry, what?"

 

Me-"An insane amount of ranch."

 

Her -*More confusion, but gets out a TUB of ranch cups and digs in with both hands piling up 12 on the table*

 

Her -"Is that enough or keep going?"

 

Me - "That should be good."

 

So, I drove off with my twelve cups of ranch and am now happily enjoying my lunch. This tactic never fails for getting a condiment unless it is one of the places that charge you for an additional sauce.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

A friend of mine had a friend from england at her house. He dipped his in Ketchup.

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People stick any food items into ranch. I could go along with chicken wings, celery and fries but when people starting applying ranch dressing to pizza, cheeseburgers and god knows what else, I lose all interest in ranch.

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Guest Hotbutter Spoontoaster

I dip anything and everything into ranch, honey mustard, and ketchup.

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Who are these people that dip their pizza in ranch?

 

Me. It's good stuff. I don't dip it though, I apply a small amount over the pizza with a knife.

 

 

People who have never been to Chicago.

 

Not really true. I can get better pizza here in South Bend, then I can get in Chicago and before you ask I have had a lot of Chicago pizza.

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Guest Felonies!

Who are these people that dip their pizza in ranch?

 

Me. It's good stuff. I don't dip it though, I apply a small amount over the pizza with a knife.

You suck.

 

People who have never been to Chicago.

 

Not really true. I can get better pizza here in South Bend, then I can get in Chicago and before you ask I have had a lot of Chicago pizza.

You really suck.

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Ranch is only really good on salad, or as an accompiament to Buffalo Wings + Celery. It's too overpowering for a good sandwich, IMO.

 

Spreading it on pizza? Bleh. I can see dipping the crust in, but that's about it.

 

Since we're doing condiments, what goes on a Chicago dog again, Czech? It sounded damn good. Well, besides the French's mustard. Polish mustard all the way, baby.

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Guest Felonies!

here we go again

 

Vienna Beef kosher hot dog with:

Mustard, diced onions, sweet relish, sliced tomato, pickle spear, sport peppers, and celery salt. Should be steamed and served on a poppyseed bun. Ketchup punishable by death.

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You really suck.

 

I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

 

Just a thin coat of ranch on a crappy pizza, improves the flavor tenfold.

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I like how Chicago and Cincinnati, with different styles in hot dog prep both agree to the common sense that is ketchup, under no circumstances ever touches a hot dog.

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Guest Felonies!
I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

Why on earth would South Bend, which is for all intents and purposes just a college town, going to be renowned for its pizza ahead of Chicago and New York? Even New Haven has their lame-ass apizza thing.

 

I sometimes put ketchup on hotdogs.

 

Am I going to hell?

You already punched your ticket with the St. Louis Cardinals, so go to town.

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Guest Hotbutter Spoontoaster

That reminds me, I asked for ketchup once at the Old Spaghetti Factory and the waiter laughed at me. I was being serious.

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Guest Felonies!
I've never asked for an insane amount of sauce before but I have asked for a big ass drink.

A week ago, I went to Taco Bell and asked for a extra-large drink, but only got a large. With Baja Blast, you want to maximize. So I ask him, "wait, didn't I order an extra-large?" and he says "this is the largest we have."

"Well, are you sure?"

"Yes, sir."

"Because I had a larger one last week."

"That's our largest drink."

Suddenly I realized how shameful this whole thing was and dropped the issue.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

Why on earth would South Bend, which is for all intents and purposes just a college town, going to be renowned for its pizza ahead of Chicago and New York? Even New Haven has their lame-ass apizza thing.

 

To be perfectly fair, Czech, and you know I'm a well-travelled midwesterner, there is some really dynamite pizza in Indiana. Not quite up to the standards of our tenderloin sandwiches, but good deep-dish does exist in the hoosier state. On the Eastern corner, even. Even then, the fat death of Chicago pizza wins out.

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I do vidalia onions and mustard on a hot dog. I need to get a half-smoke here in DC to see what they put on those things.

 

Also, I'm sure putting ranch dressing on your pizza improves the taste of the pizza...if you want your pizza to taste like ranch freaking dressing.

 

After some searching, I found a good, but expensive pizza place in Arlington called the Italian Store. Top-notch Italian deli. Takes 35-40 minutes to make the pizza, and you probably have to wait in line another 10 minutes to pay for it when you get there, but it's way good. And you can eat all sorts of Italian cookies and sample of prosciutto while you wait in line. Thumbs up.

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Guest Felonies!

I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

Why on earth would South Bend, which is for all intents and purposes just a college town, going to be renowned for its pizza ahead of Chicago and New York? Even New Haven has their lame-ass apizza thing.

 

To be perfectly fair, Czech, and you know I'm a well-travelled midwesterner, there is some really dynamite pizza in Indiana. Not quite up to the standards of our tenderloin sandwiches, but good deep-dish does exist in the hoosier state. On the Eastern corner, even. Even then, the fat death of Chicago pizza wins out.

Well then, I did not expect that. If I ever end up in Indianapolis, I will sample some pizza.

 

Now what do you call a person from Indianapolis? An Indianapolitan? This is slightly clunky, to say the least, but a resident of Minneapolis is a Minneapolitan, like a diminutive three-flavored ice cream. On that note, Vancouvrian or Vancouverite? I've seen both, but the first one sounds cool. Halifax = Haligonian, I know that one. Detroit and Montreal both favor the -er suffix.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

Why on earth would South Bend, which is for all intents and purposes just a college town, going to be renowned for its pizza ahead of Chicago and New York? Even New Haven has their lame-ass apizza thing.

 

To be perfectly fair, Czech, and you know I'm a well-travelled midwesterner, there is some really dynamite pizza in Indiana. Not quite up to the standards of our tenderloin sandwiches, but good deep-dish does exist in the hoosier state. On the Eastern corner, even. Even then, the fat death of Chicago pizza wins out.

Well then, I did not expect that. If I ever end up in Indianapolis, I will sample some pizza.

 

Now what do you call a person from Indianapolis?

 

Usually something like Greg or Mandy.

 

I'm not talking about Indianapolis though, fuck that place. The real hoosier atmosphere is best sampled in the other "cities" here. Fort Wayne is about as north indiana as it gets. No drawls, more crime, tenderloins. Less of the Chicago flavor like Hammond and Gary have, or LaPorte and Michigan City, to an extent.

 

Anything south of Indy might as well be another state. We'll call it #20 HOME DEPOT

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