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The Stupidest WWE World Title Changes Ever, June 24, 2003
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Oct 6 2003, 07:40 PM
Post #1





Guests






Intro

Feedback

Wow. I got a LOT of feedback from "WWE vs. the Internet", but this one really stood out:


Nik,

While I agree with most of what you said in your
latest column, I think you have to understand why most
wrestlers don't like 'Internet fans'. Take Bradshaw
for example, you call him a 'talentless piece of shit'
in your column, but somehow you expect him to embrace
the internet and it's awesome power? I honestly can't
blame someone like him or HHH for not warming up to
the fans online. I mean, if you were HHH and went to
a site like TSM and saw a large number of people
compare you to Hitler, all based on 2nd hand
information on what he does or doesn't do backstage,
would you really want to take into consideration what
they had to think and try and make them happy?

Keep in mind, I'm not saying that all feedback left
online (or anywhere, for that matter) should
necessarily be positive, but I think that it's at
least partially the fault of the fans on the internet
for the stigma that they have within the WWE. Why
should Vince and Co. want to make you happy when you
insult his daughter, wish injury (or worse) on his
future son-in-law, and hope that his company goes out
of business?

Tim Moysey


I completely agree with what you are saying about Triple H, and especially the second hand information, and I think I covered both of those things in the column. In short, though, HHH does himself no favours, and "smart fans" are like a pack of wolves with him, based only on what Meltzer and others are told, and pass on.

As for Bradshaw. He is the one who came out first and called all internet reporters "geeks". Why should I give him any respect? I hate to get into a childish "well, he started it" argument, but in his case, I think he's made his bed and now he has to lie in it. Calling him a "talentless piece of shit" comes from two things - firstly, I think he's an awful wrestler, and secondly he's acted like a real jerk towards the internet community.

His insults are a general rant at the online community, whereas the comments I made are specifically directed at him personally. Sure, I was overly harsh, but his attitude is FAR worse.

I don't think *I* have wished "injury (or worse)" on Triple H, or hoped that "his company goes out of business". True, there are people out there who've wished for the death of WWE *and* Triple H, but you've done exactly what WWE does:- Tarred every single "smart fan" with the same brush.

Sorry, one more thing I wanted to add: When I said,
"Why should Vince and Co. want to make you happy when
you insult his daughter, wish injury (or worse) on his
future son-in-law, and hope that his company goes out
of business?", I didn't mean for it to sound like I
was talking about you, personally. I meant it more in
the broader sense of the word, if you understand what
I mean.

Tim Moysey




Caption Competition

Michael Brooks and Tim Livingstone are this week's winners, with:




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/dvon_long_001.jpg)



D-Von: 'So my choices are "Get the tables!" or "Get buried"? Hmm, let me think...'

and

"D-Von, Mack Daddy Playas gotta hug!!!"

respectively.


Ugliest Wannabe Diva

While I dislike our culture of judging people on their looks, these people have sent their pictures into divasearch.wwe.com, purely for that reason. So, here's the three ugliest, in reverse order...

3) AIMEE; Edgewater, MD




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/aimee.jpg)



All the divas in the WWE are missing one HUGE thing, BRAINS! Blonde, busty and brainless. Well I'm not only intelligent, I'm sexier than all of the "Divas" combined.


2) LORI; Camarillo, Calif.




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/lori_cal.jpg)



My son is a genius at WWE trivia. He wants his 57 year old father to try out for Tough Enough. We have taken him to visit The Rock & Hogan on film sets. He probably knows more about wrestling than Vince. I would just love a chance to show him that his mom still has a chance.


1) MICQUELINE; Addison, Ill.




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/micqueline.jpg)



Divas are a work of art. I am very athletic and know the effort it takes to build a strong and tight body. I can be very innocent looking, but I can also be very sexy, all in one.


Column

Over the years, the WWF title has remained the last one to mean something (until the creation of a second world title, but that's another column.) Despite that, though, there have been some interesting title changes over the years.

Below is a list of the worst world title losses of all time. They are judged on a variety of different things, which you will see as you read on.

Note that I stuck with the world title as otherwise the hardcore title would have taken over completely.


9. Bob Backlund is squashed in under a minute

Bob Backlund vs. Diesel, November 26th 1994

A full review of the match:

WWF Title Match: Bob Backlund (champion) vs. Diesel

Diesel with a kick to the stomach of Backlund, powerbomb, and it's all over. Match time: 0:06


Now, the point they were trying to make here is that "Diesel is a big, strong, mean motherfucker". The only point they made was "Backlund is a pussy."

This is because of the way the match ended so abruptly – if Diesel can put Backlund down that easily, then Backlund can't be that strong. To get the other reaction, the one they wanted, Diesel would have to be shown to be consistently strong. One win does not achieve this.

Having a long, exciting match would hammer the point home that Diesel is someone to look at, but writing Backlund off as worthless (even though his career was pretty much over) is ridiculous.


8. Kane holds the title for 24 hours, to avoid a silly stipulation

Kane vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, June 28th 1998 and June 29th 1998

King of the Ring '98 is famous for the Mankind vs. Undertaker Hell in a Cell match, but the main event of that show featured a brand new kind of gimmick match: First blood. Simply, the first person to bleed would lose the match.

The WWF hedged their bets with the match, because they weren't convinced that neither would accidentally bleed hard way, and warned that only a "gushing blood" would be enough.

At this point, Stone Cold was the reigning champion, and Kane the challenger.

Remember that at this time, Kane was still a Monster, and still had a tragic past, where he was burned in a fire, but most importantly: He couldn't talk. However, on this occasion, he summoned all the strength he had and through a voice box, Kane promised that if he lost the match he would set himself on fire.

Lawler being Lawler spent the whole PPV with a can of petrol by his side, shrieking about Kane setting himself on fire and the smell of petrol.

Another thing to note about Kane at this point is that he was wearing his old style costume, which covered his whole (scarred) body. Usually, one arm was left open, but this costume covered everything but his head – and he was wearing the mask anyway.

Clearly, the odds were stacked against Stone Cold, and sure enough, he lost the match and the title. Only to win it back again the next night. The title switch was used for two reasons here:

Firstly, to make Kane seem more of a threat, since he is now a former WWF champion. However, they could have done this a load of different ways – and importantly, could have given him a reasonably long title reign. That would say a hell of a lot more than a one night deal.

Secondly, it was so they wouldn't have to set Kane on fire. If they didn't have faith in Kane as a champion, they shouldn't have made him champion, and scrapped the silly stipulation. I don't think anyone truly believed that Kane would properly set himself on fire, and the petrol cans at ringside secured the deal.


7. Foley holds the title for 24 hours, because Austin won't job to Triple H


Mankind vs. Steve Austin vs. Triple H, August 22nd 1999, and Mankind vs. Triple H, August 23rd 1999

This is the last "short title reign" one.

SummerSlam 1999 was going to be headlined by Austin and Triple H. Austin was pretty broken down, and a couple of months away from his year long break to heal his neck. Triple H wasn't as over as anyone would have liked, and certainly not enough to main event the second biggest PPV of the year – and win the title. Austin agreed with this appraisal of Triple H, and refused to job the title to him.

So they called on Mick Foley to hold them together, and made the match into a triple threat. Foley went on to win the match by cleanly pinning Austin, but then the next night on Raw...

Triple H was pissed, because he felt screwed at SummerSlam. After "breaking" Jim Ross' arm, he is awarded a match against Foley. And yes, he gets the win for his first WWF championship.

Now, I'm opposed to short title reigns, because it makes the original win look like a fluke, and the transitional champion weak. Austin should have sucked it up and been professional about it.


6. Brock Lesnar's undefeated streak broken by... The Big Show

Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show, November 17th 2002

Brock Lesnar had been dominating WWE since coming in 6 months earlier, defeating everyone that he fought, including Hulk Hogan and winning the WWE title from The Rock.

The Big Show had just been traded from Raw to SmackDown!, after months of jobbing to everyone, including Jeff Hardy.

From the start of the match, it was obvious that something was up, because Michael Cole went to great lengths to stress that Brock Lesnar had never been pinned. And sure enough, The Big Show pinned him for the title, getting zero reaction. It was almost like nobody who makes decisions remembered ANYTHING about either guy.


5. Rock pins Vince for Triple H's title

The Rock, Undertaker and Kane vs. Triple H, Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon, 25th June, 2000

Mid 2000 featured a series of Rock vs. Triple H matches. Triple H had kept his WWF title at Wrestlemania, thanks to Vince McMahon turning on the Rock and then, at Backlash, a returning Steve Austin would cost Trips the match and the title. On to Judgment Day, and they fought for 60 minutes in an iron man match, ending with the Undertaker returning and accidentally costing the Rock the title.

At King of the Ring, the only way to settle things (for a couple of months, at least) would be the match of champions: A 6 Man Tag~! As if that wasn't exciting enough, this was not just any 6 man tag. This was for the WWF title, and if any of the face team pinned any of the heel team, they would win the title.

Team Rocky also had the Undertaker (fresh from his "welcome back" pop, after being away for a year, he was instantly main eventing) and Kane. Taker and Kane were both faces, so they (obviously) were best of friends. They were feuding two months later, but that's not important here.

Team Hunter had his father in law, Vince McMahon, and his brother in law, Shane McMahon.

There was an interesting storyline thread throughout the match, that while the faces had to work together as a team to win, only one of them could leave with the title. This led to the faces breaking up each other's pins, and Kane even chokeslamming the Rock.

Anyway, the match comes down to the same thing that all matches with lots of wrestlers in does: Two wrestlers fight in the ring, then someone attacks one of them and takes their place. Everyone else lays around outside.

Undertaker and Shane were down after a huge "Chokeslam from the top rope through the announce table" spot, Triple H had been tombstoned, Kane had been hit with a chair from the Undertaker, leaving only two men standing: The Rock and Vince McMahon.

Vince goes for the People's Elbow, but Rocky pops up and Rockbottoms him, to win the title from Triple H.

Okay, now onto why it was a bad idea:

Yeah, triple threat, fatal four way, every multi person match has been utilised at some point to avoid having the champion be pinned. The reason for this match to be picked out over all of those comes down to a few things:

Firstly, I detest Vince McMahon booking himself into main event angles, where he is required to wrestle. He just doesn't do it for me, and having him get pinned, like he's giving the Rock some sort of rub is ridiculous.

Secondly, The Rock lay down for Triple H twice already, and Triple H was only pinned once. I dislike the "even steven" way of booking, but if they are going to use it, use it consistently.

Thirdly, they didn't go anywhere with it.

Fourthly, it should be a FACE that loses the title without being pinned, so that the "dastardly heel" managed to get away with the title. There was no reason for Triple H not to be pinned.


4. The Twin Referees

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant, February 5th, 1988

Hulk Hogan, 1988. He'd been champion for four years at this point, and it was time for a change. The Main Event was a new TV show, and it needed something monumental to get it underway.

From this, a Hogan vs. Andre the Giant rematch from Wrestlemania 3 was born. This time, though, it would be Andre to leave with the gold. Whether WWF management decided this, or Hogan refused to job, I don't know, but the ending to the match went something like this:

Andre covers Hogan for the pin. The referee goes down... 1... 2... Kickout!... 3...!!!

The commentary team was incensed, the fans were booing like crazy, and Hogan had a hissy fit. Why had Dave Hebner deliberately counted to three when he knew Hogan had kicked out?

Aaah... there was more to the story. It turned out that it wasn't Dave Hebner refereeing the match. No, sir, it was his Evil Twin. Christ, it's like a soap opera, 15 years before Stephanie made everything a soap opera.

And that Evil Twin's name? Earl "Bret screwer" Hebner.


3. Triple H loses to Vince McMahon

Triple H vs. Vince McMahon (referee: Shane McMahon) October 14th 1999

SmackDown! October, 1999. Triple H is the champion, leading into the Unforgiven Pay Per View. However, some backstage do not believe that he is a strong enough champion and that he needs a boost. So for Unforgiven, a "six pack" challenge is booked between Big Show, Undertaker (eventually replaced by the British Bulldog, due to injury), Kane, Triple H, Rock and Mankind.

Leading into the Pay Per View, though, they decide that having Triple H drop the title in a way that keeps his heat and then having him regain it at Unforgiven is the way to make him seem stronger. It should be noted that at this point, he is feuding with Stone Cold Steve Austin, who doesn't get a title shot at the PPV because he lost a title match by DQ on Raw. There's also some bad blood with Vince "I made you" McMahon.

So on SmackDown!, Triple H declares that he has to defend his title TONIGHT~! He calls out Shane O Mac to be the guest referee, and then names his opponent. Wow, Triple H deciding who to fight for the title. Insert your own joke. He discounts several wrestlers, before choosing... Vince.

So, out comes Vince, and he tries to calm Triple H down and avoid a fight. HHH taunts him, and turns his back. McMahon rushes him, and the match is underway.




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/angry.jpg)



About 5 minutes in, Linda is out, bringing 3 McMahons into the match, and HHH beats down Vince, while Linda tries to look angry and Chyna holds her back.

Kick, Wham Pedi... *glass shatters* Austin levels Triple H, stunners Chyna, stunners Triple H and throws McMahon on top, before picking up Shane and forcing him to count.




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/pin.jpg)



Yes, ladies and gentlemen... non wrestler Vince McMahon: WWF Champion


2. Montreal

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels, November 9th 1997

Okay, I think that every single tiny detail regarding Montreal has been discussed in WAY too much detail. So I'm just going concentrate mainly on how it came over on screen.

To recap quickly though: Bret was WWF champion, and ready to leave for WCW. Vince didn't want him to take the WWF title belt to Nitro, and didn't trust Bischoff not to pay Bret to take it. Bret had no problem losing the title, and some stories say he wouldn't lose to Shawn, some say he wouldn't lose in Montreal and some say he wouldn't lose to Shawn in Montreal. Anyway, the ending was booked so that the extended Hart family would run in for a no contest or DQ. As it happened, Shawn put Bret in the sharpshooter, and Earl Hebner acted like Bret had tapped, ending the match. It is pretty much accepted that Vince, Earl and Shawn were in on the screwjob.

The ending of the match:

We're about 27:00 in, and the referee is knocked down. Shawn rakes the eyes of Bret, who falls down. Shawn stumbles, but locks in the Sharpshooter on Bret. Earl Hebner screams "ring the bell, ring the bell", and IMMEDIATELY dives out of the ring and isn't seen again. Close up on Bret, who looks seriously confused. Bret is up first, as JR asks "What the hell happened?" There's the famous spitball onto McMahon, as Shawn rolls out of the ring, snatches the belt and leaves with Triple H. Bret stands in the ring, and he looks gutted. Davey Boy Smith is there with him, but Bret's shaking his head. Even the Hitman's music doesn't pop the crowd. The Anvil is in too, and Bret dejectedly shakes hands with some fans, and smashes up some of the TV monitors, and snapping anything he can off the announce tables.




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/tap.jpg)



Everyone watching the PPV must have known something was up. People's reactions – Bret's, Shawn's, Jim Ross' were just too different. Shawn didn't pose with the belt, Bret seemed to have plently left in him to fight with – clearly not ready to give up, and Ross didn't seem to really know what was going on.

This was a terrible thing for the WWF, because it basically destroyed morale and set an awful precedent towards screwing wrestlers. There's not really a lot else to say, as everything regarding the match has been covered in so much detail by everyone.


1. "Losing my smile"

February 13th, 1997

Just before Wrestlemania 12, in real life Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels weren't getting on with each other. However, in some wacky twist of fate, they were the top guys in the WWF, and so were to feud with each other. It's like Shakespeare.

Bret is the champion at this point, and the idea is that Bret will lose the title to Shawn at Wrestlemania 12, and then beat Shawn for the same title a year later at Wrestlemania 13. Both parties agree to this, and they go out and put on their Iron Man match, which Shawn eventually wins.

A year later, though, Shawn has a change of heart regarding his upcoming job to Bret. Suddenly, out of nowhere, his knee became injured, and he developed an addiction to painkillers. It is generally accepted though, that both of these were fabrications.

Shawn came out on Raw with the WWF title, and gave it up to Vince McMahon, saying...


"Well ... it seems, ah, like we've done this before. And uh, this time, unfortunately for me, it's much more serious than last time. I've never had, um, a doctor look at me in the face and say, ah, that I may never be able to wrestle again. And I was, uh, I was told that the other day. Of course, you know I, it's not something that I believe. But the fact is it's something that I have to deal with. Time has, has taken it's toll on, on my body."

(A "We Want Sid!" chant breaks out).

"Well there's uh, one thing about me is I can't do anything halfway and I, and I come here and I hear the people and they chant uh, Sid's name or they chant Bret's name or they chant a lot of peoples' name, and one thing's for sure you're going to have all of that in the future, um, and that's what I want for the World Wrestling Federation fans. In spite of, ah, what people may think about me what I've always wanted for all these people is, is for them to have a good time and to enjoy themselves. I've always tried to be the one to provide it whether it was on the good side or the bad side. Ah, but what was always important to me was the performance-was the performance so that these people, each time they reached in their pocket-they paid to get a WWF ticket-they didn't regret it because they knew that if they saw my name on the card they could yell, they could come and they could cheer and they could boo and they could do whatever wanted-they wanted as long as they had a good time! Over the last couple of months, ah, there's been a lot of talk of people, ah, having bad attitudes and a lot revolving around this belt. Uh, all I know today is that one thing that's not going to revolve around this belt, for a long time, is going to be Shawn Michaels. I don't know where I'm at right now. I have to, uh, I have to have everything checked. I may have ... I may be beyond reconstructive surgery. I may or may not be able to fix it. But if I can't come back and perform at the level I performed at ... before ... I can't-I can't perform. I can't come out here and just go half-ass. I have to come out here and I have romp and stomp and I have to get tossed around-I have to toss people around and I have to have fun. The schedule over the last year I took on because I didn't feel like I could say no. I wanted to do everything. I wanted to enjoy my life as the WWF Champion. I wanted to-I wanted to ride in lear jets and ride in limousines and I wanted to be on TV shows and I wanted to do autograph sessions and I got to do every bit of that. If nothing else, I have all of that to take with me. Again ... and I know right now we're in the middle of a time where toughness is real big here in the World Wrestling Federation ... and unfortunately all I've got right now for you is a lot of sorrow, a lot of tears, and a lot of emotion. I don't have any toughness for anybody, so I guess... here you go ... here's your belt."

(The crowd starts to murmur and boo).

"What I'm going to do is go back home and see what's left for me; whether it'll be in this ring-whether it'll be out of this ring. I know that over the, ah, last several months I've lost a lot of things and one of them has been my smile. And ... and I know it doesn't mean a whole lot to everbody else, but it means a lot to me. So I have to go back and fix myself-and take care of myself, and I have to go back and I have to find my smile because somewhere along the line I lost it and I don't care, really ... I don't care if it's unpopular, and I don't care if, ah, people want to make fun of me because I'm an emotional guy. But, um ...this is all I've ever wanted to do and ah, over the last year I got to do it and whether you like me or not, I just want to tell you that, ah, last year was the most wonderful year of my life. And, ah, if I never do get to do it again, it'll be okay because I got to live one full year as being the number one guy in this business and it was the single, most greatest year of my life."

(A tear rolls down Shawn's cheek. Fans are openly weeping).

"And I have you to thank, and I have everybody here to thank, and it means a lot to me and, ah, I'm gonna go home now. Okay?"


(Thanks to http://www.angelfire.com/wv/dxsgrrl/dx.html for that)

After a few months of sitting at home on his ass, Shawn's career ending knee injury magically healed up, and he was back in the WWF until a back injury ended his career. Until 2002, of course...

Bret went on to win the title at the next PPV, Final Four, in a match that can be best described as a "Battle Royal with pins" against Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Undertaker and Vader.

Wrestlemania was eventually headlined by Sid vs. The Undertaker.


Outro

Okay, so there were only nine. But I couldn't decide on number 10... I'm going to leave that up to all of you. Maybe you hate the finish to Wrestlemania 9, with Yokozuna's 9 minute title reign? Or Ted Dibiase buying the belt? Whatever it is, drop me a line, and I'll post some of the best of the worst.

As always, here's this week's caption competition:




(IMG:http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/uploads/kane17.jpg)



Send them in to me at the address below.

Nik
[email protected]
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