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Guest TSMAdmin

Worst PPV Ever?

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Guest TSMAdmin

Simply put – Yes. While King of the Ring '95 (ironically also headlined by Kevin Nash) is seen as the benchmark of bad Pay Per Views, I feel that Bad Blood has exceeded it in terms of sheer rubbish.

 

In 1995, the WWF was still trying to find its feet after the departure of Hulk Hogan. McMahon had no idea what to do after losing arguably the biggest babyface of all time to WCW. Shawn Michaels wasn't ready (in Vince's eyes) to main event, and he was sure that Mabel would be the Next Big Thing. There was really NOBODY who could carry the upper card – well actually, there was Bret Hart and Shawn, but they would have their time in 1996. 1995 was a real transitional period for the WWF, and nobody knew what the hell to do.

 

In 2003, Vince has had 20 years experience of running WWE. He knows what he's doing, and he knows how to pop a crowd. Instead, he is making asinine booking decisions, aiming to please a select few people – most of them with the surname McMahon (as well as members of the Kliq.) This time around, he has some of the best North American wrestlers of all time assembled, as well as hundreds of millions of dollars at his disposal.

 

There is absolutely no reason for WWE to put on a bad show, yet for the third month running, the smartmarks forums have been saying "it can't get worse than this... can it?" I hope not.

 

So, onto Bad Blood. This isn't your standard recap, basically I'm going to go into stereotypical Internet fan mode, and point out what was wrong with each match and segment. And maybe what was good about it, if there was anything.

 

The Dudley Boys vs. Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack

 

The Good:

 

I guess this is what the roster and PPV split was all about: Getting new guys on TV, and giving them a chance to show what they can do. They are also trying to rejuvenate the tag team division, which only really has La Resistance, Kane / RVD and the Dudley Boyz as credible teams.

 

I loved Teddy Long asking D'Von why it's always him that gets the tables. Funny stuff.

 

The Bad:

 

Rodney fucking Mack. Who cares? He's a bland, green wrestler that could have done with a lot more time in OVW before being brought out on Raw.

 

The "WWE is racist" angle seriously needs some work. Firstly, WWE have done NOTHING in relation to this angle that is remotely racist, yet Teddy Long clutches to it like a child with a teddy bear.

 

I was once told that a good way of checking whether something is racist is to reverse the colour of the people involved. So imagine how it'd come across if Randy Orton came out every week, and challenged any black man (and only a black man – because he can beat all black men) to a 5 minute "black boy challenge." It sounds horrible, right? And this angle is horrible, with Long's over the topness being the only saving grace.

 

The Dudleys (who are apparently the next challengers to La Resistance) lose to a tag team that have only been together once before (UK' target='_blank'>UK" target="_blank">UK" target="_blank">http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/publish/ar...tml">UK only PPV - InsurreXion). This doesn't make Nowinski and Mack look strong – it only makes the Dudley Boyz look weak. Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks this, but more on that later.

 

Scott Steiner vs. Test (Winner Gets blow jobs from Stacy)

 

The Good:

 

Test seemed to be getting quite the reaction from the way he was acting towards Stacy. I don't know if that means she's like Hulk Hogan (anyone who opposes them are INSTANTLY a heel) or whether Test has finally found himself. Either way, it's a good thing that anyone is getting more over.

 

It will also be interesting to see how this feud plays out, with Steiner and Stacy taunting Test for another month...

 

Steiner falling off the side of the ring. Hopefully this will get the message across that Steiner doesn't belong anywhere near the ring, despite whatever his 2½ year contract says.

 

The Bad:

 

Not a lot bad to say, really, other than Steiner's win makes it look like he's in for a push.

 

Jerry Lawler was commentating. Actually, he wasn't commentating, which was the problem

 

Christian vs. Booker T

 

The Good:

 

Christian won his first match since getting the title, which must count for something.

 

The Bad:

 

Disqualifi-fucking-cation. Absolutely asinine booking, as apparently they want to stretch the feud out for another month. There's a hundred ways for them to do that, without resorting to the shitty "heel gets a deliberate DQ to keep the title" ending, that they've used three times in 6 months. The referee had made it obvious earlier on in the match that he wasn't going to take Christian's bullshit, when he warned that he'd lose the title if he was deliberately counted out. Yet, he totally contradicts himself by allowing a deliberate DQ? Silly, silly ending – and in Booker T's hometown? Fo' shame.

 

Booker T is above Intercontinental Title level. But... I don't see him being allowed anywhere near the World Title, so what he REALLY needs to do is move to SmackDown! as soon as possible. However, now they've started this feud, he needs to win the IC title first and get a decent reign out of that. So they've really fucked themselves up the arse on this one.

 

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

 

Round 1 – Burping contest:

 

The Good

 

Nothing. This had zero redeeming features whatsoever

 

The Bad:

 

Where should I start? The horribly overdubbed burps? The irritating "going back and forth between them three times like in every other stupid non-wrestling-match gimmick (like posedowns or press-up contests)"? Or the fact that it went on for about 10 minutes?

 

Round 2 – Pie Eating Contest:

 

The Good

 

Again, absolutely fucking nothing.

 

The Bad:

 

A pensioner in a thong? Nobody, literally nobody, wants to see that. Mae Young, I swear, doesn't even look human. It's a horrible idea for her to come out on TV at all, let alone half naked with her pussy in Bischoff's face.

 

It was wasting time that people had paid $35 for. Or leeched off WWE.com. Still, this is the sort of shit that goes on Raw – or was the mystery of a "Redneck Triathlon" supposed to get buys?

 

Round 3 – Singing conte… Pig Pen Match

 

The Good

 

I got to have a piss after the Flair / Michaels match

 

The Bad:

 

A waste of time. It accomplished nothing, and wasn't funny. LOL BISCHOFF IS IN THE PIG SHIT LOL! Is that what WWE think of the fans that paid money for this? Just imagine the costs involved: Re-covering the Raw Roulette wheel. Hiring the indy worker to push Bischoff back. Hiring the pigs and pen, transporting them, and cleaning the shit up. Plus flying Bischoff and Austin into town.

 

Kane and Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance

 

The Good

 

It looks like Kane will be going back to being a Badass Monster, rather than a corpse-fucking idiot, which can only be a good thing. Also, by breaking the team up, it means that RVD can be given another singles push. He won't, but it makes the dream a little closer.

 

The Bad:

 

La Resistance are too new, too inexperienced and not very good. Their entire gimmick is that they hate America, leading to God knows how many ignorant "Fuck France" style signs in the crowd. Having them with the titles only weakens the belts, and they are already viewed as shit, despite being the "real", original WWE ones.

 

WWE are never subtle about anything – it's like RVD and Kane have been "accidentally" costing each other matches for ages, and Kane has turned on RVD in the Royal Rumble, as well as the IC Battle Royal. It was obvious that they would turn on one another sooner or later, and it looks like it'll be on Raw tonight.

 

As is a recurring theme tonight – the match was WAY short, but too long considering who was in it. If that makes sense.

 

Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho

 

The Good

 

Goldberg getting booed, and Jericho getting cheered. Awesome! This is sending exactly the right message to Vince McMahon, and to Bill himself: Fuck Goldberg. After Linda McMahon calling him a "disappointment" at a press conference, it looks to be only a matter of time before they "sever ties" with one another.

 

The spear through the crowd barrier was quite cool, to be honest. A nice moment, topped only by Goldberg selling the arm right to the end.

 

Goldberg's confrontation with a fan afterwards, ending with him screaming "don't touch me." Anyone out there catch what was said?

 

The Bad:

 

The result of the match was never in any doubt, and neither was the predictable Spear – Jackhammer finish.

 

Chris Jericho loses yet again. His two Pay Per View wins this year were in a 6 man tag, where – surprisingly – Triple H got the pin, and a last minute match against Jeff Hardy. This is so not what they should be doing with him.

 

 

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

 

The Good

 

Ric Flair… vs… Shawn Michaels. Two heroes. Two legends. Facing each other (not) for the first time.

 

The Bad

 

It's not 15 years ago, or 6 years ago. Had it have been, then these two would be in their primes and easily capable of putting on a ***** match. As it happens, Ric Flair is way past it, and Shawn must be on more painkillers than the rest of the roster combined.

 

Bloody Evolution and Randy bloody Orton. What do Evolution do, apart from interfere in each other's matches? Why are they together? What's their goal, their aim? You don't know, and I bet that WWE don't know either.

 

Flair's heel turn, before the show. A shitty, horrible idea. Triple H makes Flair look like a bitch, and he comes back for more, like a cheap whore. Having this as a face vs. face "mutual respect" match would have allowed for the emotional hug at the end, a clean finish, and let people forget that it was a mediocre match.

 

Again, the finish came out of nowhere.

 

Triple H vs. Kevin Nash, inside the demonic Hell in a Cell, for the Heavyweight Championship of the World, with the special guest referee Mick Foley

 

The Good

 

Mick Foley. Dammit, the emotion he showed on Raw, leading into this match far surpassed anything that has been on Raw all year. It's pretty obvious he writes his own material. And the huge bump he took was pretty much the most memorable thing.

 

It was quick.

 

The Bad

 

It was a horribly overbooked affair, to compensate for both worker's weaknesses. Now this begs the question, if the booking department know that both workers are weak, why the hell are they putting them in the main event?

 

The stupid fucking "I kick out of your finisher, then hit you with the sledgehammer and Pedigree you" finish that we've seen a million times before. It's lazy, uncreative, predictable booking. And it's really, really tedious.

 

Kevin Nash has no place near a wrestling ring in 2003, let alone in the main event. He has little talent, is sluggish, and admits that he doesn't sell for everyone. I cannot think of a single reason why he's main eventing against... Triple H. Oh wait – there's your answer.

 

Triple H keeps the title. I suppose it is the lesser of two evils, but after almost a year with the belt, you'd think he'd have one memorable (for the right reasons) match.

 

Yeah right.

 

Overall

 

A horrible, horrible show, from the ungodly main event right down to the Redneck Triathlon, that took almost 1/5th of the show – only a 2½ hour show at that. Still, the idea of only having half the roster on PPV is a great idea – I'd much rather see Rodney Mack than Brock Lesnar. Or not.

 

Some rumors from online regarding the show. Take these however seriously you wish, but I think they are pretty telling:

 

Many backstage in WWE yesterday at Bad Blood did not know if Goldberg was even going to stay in the building for his match with Jericho. When he arrived at the arena, he was livid and went on a warpath. Someone talked him into staying and working the match but this is not over by any means.

 

With the PPV ending early, HBK was pretty ticked off at WWE officials because they only gave his match eighteen minutes. He had asked for thirty was not granted it.

 

For those that were wondering why the PPV ended so early last night, the word making the rounds after the show was that the Hell in a Cell match was supposed to go longer than it did.

 

Let's step over to the rumor mill. From what I heard, in addition to Goldberg and Shawn Michaels, I am hearing that there were a lot of others guys said to be less than happy at the PPV last night. Kevin Nash is now in the "what do they do with me now that my H feud is over" position, which isn't a good place to be (See: everyone else who has recently wrestled H). Booker T was said to be upset at the booking of the finish of his match with Christian (and who can blame him if he was). I also heard that one or both of the Dudleys were questioning why they were booked to do the job when they are supposed to be the next contenders for La Resistance. Ah, it sounds like they are all one happy family! – 1wrestling.com

 

I hope Dames doesn't think I'm treading on his toes with this – his far better Diatribe is up at thesmartmarks.com.

 

Feedback as always, please!

 

Nik

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