Dr. Tom's HEAT Report

[Guest TSMAdmin]

WWE HEAT 9/15/02

 

Razor is unable to recap Heat this week, so I'm filling in. This makes two times in a week I've gotten exposed to the RAW roster. There should be a beatification in this for me somewhere.

 

On tape from the cornfields of Iowa State, this is WWE Sunday Night Heat for 9/15/02. Your hosts are The Coach and D’Lo Brown.

 

Opening Match, Women’s Title: Jacqueline Not-Gayda vs. Molly Holly. Armwork exchange leads to Jackie getting a rollup for 2. She shoulderblocks Molly down, then displays her Tough Enough trainer’s pedigree with a hiptoss and armdrag. Jackie comes out of the corner with a headscissors, but Molly breaks up her momentum with a dropkick. Snap suplex gets 2 for the champ. Molly chokes Jackie on the ropes and snapmares her over. Jackie gets a floatover rollup for 2, but Molly gives her a backbreaker for her efforts. She misses the handspring elbow, though, allowing Jackie to slug her down. Jackie goes for the ten-punch countalong in the corner, but Molly powerbombs her down at 4 and uses the ropes for the pin at 3:42. Good match from the girls, and it helps when both of them can actually work instead of being eye candy. 3/10

 

Earlier, The Fink explained his cowardice during the announcer angle to Raven before Johnny The Bull walks up and demands his money for taking out D’Lo a while back. Y’know, if I watched Heat, I’d probably know what they were talking about. They’re going to have a match to settle it, of course.

 

It’s Justin Credible He Still Has A Job vs. Shelton Benjamin. Justin misses an attack before the bell and takes a few punches. He pokes the rookie in the eyes and grabs a headlock. Justin shoulderblocks Shelton down, but takes a hiptoss and armdrag. He rams Justin’s head into the mat a few times for 2. Benjamin grabs a deep armdrag, and D’Lo breaks out the Ricky Steamboat comparison. A little early for something like THAT, methinks. I mean, the kid might have a nice armdrag, but Steamboat did so many things so well. Justin chops away, but Benjamin does a nice military press slam. He pounds Justin in the corner, but Justin drops him with a superkick that gets 2. Justin hits a gutbuster for 2 and grabs an abdominal stretch. Bejamin hiptosses out, and counters a DDT by quickly turning it into a Russian legsweep. Inverted atomic drop gets 2 for the rookie, and he finishes with what looks like a hammerlock powerslam at 4:12. Coach and D’Lo didn’t know what to call it either, but that’s small solace. This was a well-constructed match to make Benjamin look good, and it worked. 5/10

 

After the break, Lilian Garcia talks to Shelton, who says he’s on a roll with his unrivaled SKILLZ~!

 

The latter half of the Billy and Chuck commitment ceremony is shown, picking up right at the I-do's and thus eliminating the parts that ran a little long. In case you missed it, here's a paste job of the covered portion from my Smackdown report: They go right to the I-do’s, but then the “happy couple” reveal it was all supposed to be a publicity stunt. They go back into the closet, which sends Rico into a tizzy about his planning and pageantry going to waste. The Justice says the vows are sacred, whether they last fifty years or . . . three minutes. Three minutes? The “Justice” peels off his mask to reveal the smirking face of Easy Eric Bischoff, which spirals the whole ceremony into commotion. The Island Boys dispose of Billy and Chuck, then Jamal squashes Stephanie with a Samoan Drop. Before they can do the big splash, though, most of the Smackdown roster chases Bischoff and his invaders away.

 

Raven vs. Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli. They tease a test of strength before Stamboli slugs it out with Raven and clotheslines him. He does a nice military press into a gutbuster and clotheslines Raven out. Back in, Raven puts the boots to Stamboli before taking a clothesline. Raven gets the knee up on a charge and stunguns Stamboli. Headlock takeover gets 2. Raven drop toeholds Stamboli out thru the ropes and does the Russian legsweep into the wall. Back in, Raven does the Rock & Roll Express kneedrop for 2. Stamboli avoids Raven’s running clothesline and hits an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Stamboli does an atomic drop and follows it with a spinning heel kick. He hits a Tilt-a-whirl slam for 2. Stamboli tries to hiptoss Raven coming off to ropes, but Raven counters it into the Evenflow at 5:13. Good enough for government work, though I wouldn’t write home to anyone about it. 3/10

 

Highlights air from the fatal four-way on Raw Monday night. It was a very good match (especially after The Big Slow was eliminated) that saw RVD emerge as the #1 Contender to HHHGH’s Big Gold Belt.

 

Main Event: Planet Stasiak vs. D’Lo Brown. Stasiak shoulderblocks D’Lo down and does an “I’m a jobber who pretends to hear voices in my head” pose. Another shoulderblock, but D’Lo has tonight’s big sequence ready: the hiptoss and armdrag. D’Lo lifts the boot on a charge and hits a second-rope clothesline for 2. D’Lo posts himself on a charge, and Stasiak goes right to work on the arm. Hammerlock slam gets 2. Stasiak works the arm some more, but D’Lo no-sells it with a hangman’s neckbreaker for 2. A clothesline sets up the wiggly-wobbly legdrop for 2. Stasiak gets an armwringer DDT for 2, then a powerslam for 2. D’Von hangs him on the top rope, and finishes with the Sky-High at 5:06. This would have been better had D’Lo sold the arm like he should have; instead, it was really pedestrian. 2/10

 

Overall: I don’t think a one-hour B-show is worth a detailed breakdown, so we’ll cut right to the chase. The matches were decent enough, but it was certainly disappointing that the main event turned out to be the worst of them all. The highlight packages were typically well-done. This was probably an acceptable outing for a show like Heat (which I admit I don't watch even semi-regularly), but I think it’s a little below average on the whole. 4/10

 

Dr. Tom

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