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TSM Weekend Newsflash, December 2, 2002
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Dec 19 2002, 01:05 AM
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Howdy, folks! It’s been a minute, but I’m back again. While there’s really no excuse for why I didn’t post anything last week(other than the fact that there was NOTHING going on), I can safely say now that I will NEVER eat chicken wings from my local Hooters ever again. Seriously, after the PPV 2 weeks ago, I started feeling pretty bad and then the diarrhea hit me like a fucking ton of bricks. I spent the better part of two days alternating between puking and shitting and I can guarantee that it will NEVER happen again. From now on, I’ll just get chicken strips or a goddamn burger…


On the college football front, I can admit that Alabama screwed the pooch during the Iron Bowl and honestly, I kinda called it the day before when I was getting my tires checked at the local tire shop where a local sports columnist was airing his radio show from(an Iron Bowl tradition). I was making small talk with one of the customers and he asked me who I was pulling for and who’d win. I told him that while I was a Bama fan, I had a feeling that Auburn could sneak up and surprise them this year and, lo and behold, look what happens! God, I hate being right sometimes.


On the NFL front, my beloved Jaguars have just truly been blowing it big time this year with losses against friggin Houston, Dallas, Tennessee, and a potential upset this week against Pittsburgh. I think it may be time for a coaching change, because Coughlin seems like he couldn’t organize a goddamn Boy Scout picnic at this point. I know people are going to say that the cap is a problem and there are too many new faces, but fuck that… Tommy Boy keeps too many bums on the roster and Jacksonville should have done whatever it took to keep McCardell so Smith wouldn’t become the primary target for all the opposing DBs, dammit!


Switching gears to TV, I watched my 24: Season One DVD set during the holiday and checking out season 2(which has been pretty damn good so far) and the bringing back of Nina, I gotta ask how many people saw Nina as the mole beforehand in the first season. Personally, I didn’t have a damn clue until Kim’s police transport was attacked and when that happened, a light bulb just went off in my head(although I think they may have shown her telling Victor Drazen that Palmer wasn’t dead beforehand, though) and I was like “Oh shit, you GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!?!?”. Good, good stuff, I tell ya.



Okay, enough of the lame real life crap, time to get to the WRESTLING~!



TSM WEEKEND NEWSFLASH



Since there seems to be a relatively weak amount of news again, I might as well breeze through it. Also, since the Torch and 1wrestling really have nothing worthy of remembering, all of your infotainment can be found from Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer




YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME…

Sadly, it seems that Armageddon will suck as much balls as Survivor Series did according to Meltzer. It seems that the WWE is leaning towards another Triple H/Shawn Michaels match as the Armageddon main as everyone’s favorite pot smoker gets the midcard boot once again. Also, instead of ending this decrepid reign, there are no plans to do Big Slow/Brock Lesnar at Armageddon as they are probably saving that match for next month’s Royal Rumble. Okay, might I ask on what planet that this garbage makes ANY sort of sense? Why save Brock/Show when NOBODY(except for the crack-smoking morons that run the WWE booking department) buys Big Slug as champion for a minute? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Wight had NO BUSINESS winning the title at Survivor Series because not only does it make him look bad because he jobbed to a fat sloth who couldn’t even beat Jeff Hardy, but it also takes away from the rub that the next big Smackdown face who was going to beat Lesnar for the first time. I know the feud has been booked okay since it started, but fuck it, why couldn’t one of the 6 guys who’ve been keeping Smackdown from going in the same toilet as RAW have gotten it? And then, you have the RAW brand where nobody is allowed to look credible except slow-moving hacks and their crippled buddies. It’s no secret that I openly despise Rob Van Dam, but goddamnit, I rather see him on top of RAW then to sit through another month of “breath-taking” HBK/HHH feud. Hell, you don’t even have to take Hunter off the air altogether, just scale back the push for once and let some new blood make an impact. Helmsley has proven time and time again that he’s not a draw(and it’s true too), so let RVD, Booker, Jericho, and maybe a couple high midcard transfers from Smackdown(maybe Brock) take the ball and run with it to see what happens.




WRESTLING LEGEND PASSES AWAY

The wrestling world lost another personality this year as the original “Mr. Wrestling”, Tim Woods(real name: George Woodin), died of a heart attack. Woods, an accomplished amateur from Michigan State, used the Mr. Wrestling persona throughtout the Southeast and in Japan. I’ve never sent he guy wrestle, but it’s a shame when legends die, so my condolences go out to his family and friends and I have to wonder how Russo feels considering that he perverted the gimmick to make himself an on-air personality again…




TORCH MIX-UP

Apparently, some people took Mike Tenay’s “I’ll quit if Russo ever came back again” bit serious. In reality, it was just a storyline and basically another Russo attempt to look important to the internet. Remember the moral of the story, kiddies: “Everything you see is a work, except for now because it’s a SHOOT, BROTHA!”




AUSSIE FANS SCREWED THEMSELVES?

In a very interesting article posted on the Observer website, Caleb Palmer of www.wrestling.net.au wrote a lengthy column concerning the treatment of the Austrailian fans of the WWE. In it, he brings up how their major free TV markets avoid the WWE programming like the plague and how the arrogance of the WWE itself is steadily pissing off and running off the market(gee, doesn’t THAT sound familiar). It’s a really GREAT read and really shows how scummy Vince and Co. can be when business is down. Read it HERE.





That wraps it up for this week, kiddies. Christmas is only 2 weeks away, so do your favorite weekend news guy a favor and buy me some shit, eh? Heh, just kidding… But anyways, be sure to peep The Midweek News by the hardest working guy on this site, Dr. Tom. I’ll be back next week where I’ll bitch about the NFL and college football some more… oh, and that wrestling stuff, too.

Before I bounce, let em say congratulations to our own Damian Gonzalez for finally getting some recognition for the work he puts in on the NWA:TNA PPV recaps. It’s always a good thing to see credit being given to where it’s due. Now, if only I could get that kind of respect… Ahhhh, fuck it. I’ll just stay the foul-mouthed dumbass I am, at least I can still claim to be smarter than Adam West(BOO-YAH!)…



Peace out, esse!



Byron Vester
The SmartMarks.com
E-mail me at: [email protected](remember to remove the spam-killing x’s)
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