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King Cucaracha

AM: 6-Man Tag

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BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championships!!

The entrance is parted, but not for any of the competitors. Instead, a troupe of six trumpeteers march out. Pointing their trumpets to the Las Vegas sky they play a triumphant fanfare. The fanfare leading into "Parade Of The Charioteers", which takes over from the trumpeteers, putting their instruments aside and BOWING to their knees. Heading out first are Faqu and James Blonde, Blonde with a beaming smile on his face as he motions behind him. Where, after a few seconds, two ROMAN SOLDIERS lead the way for four more, carrying on their shoulders a platformed DOUBLE THRONE, carrying Queen Esther and King Landon, who is dressed up like CAESAR HIMSELF!!

COLE
Oh.. my.. word.

BUFFER
Introducing first. Total combined weight, seven hundred and seventeen pounds... they are the reigning, defending, OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... and accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER, the 2010 King Of The Ring... KING LANDON MADDIX... ladies and gentlemen, presenting, THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Queen Esther waves to the fans from her precarious throne, as does King Landon, before being FED A GRAPE by the Queen and giving a thumbs up.

COACH
What paegentry! What pomp! What circumstance! The Roman Empire has NOTHING on the Cucaracha Kingdom!

COLE
It's an entrance fit for a King here at AngleMania IX, live from Caesar's Palace!

Blonde and Faqu enter the ring and Blonde looks on with great pride as the four burly Romans struggle down to ringside carrying the royal load. Managing not to break their backs somehow, they slowly lower the double throne down between the apron and the guardrail, allowing Queen Esther to hold the ropes and King Landon to step off, spinning triumphantly into the ring in his Caesar fancy dress costume.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Dropping to his hands and knees Blonde shows reverance to the King, as Faqu just stands and gnaws at his title belt.

COLE
It's nice to see Landon and Esther entering into the spirit of the occassion. But, they'd better get serious now. Because now, they've got three bitter Brits to answer to.

As the Romans take the thrones away, The Cucaracha Kingdom lord it up in the ring. Until "Mother" by Danzig hits. All business, out march The Last Kings Of Scotland, with Nathaniel Black a few steps behind, backed up by Megan Skye.

BUFFER
And introducing the challengers! At a total combined weight of seven hundred and thirteen pounds. The team of DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT, THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND... and their partner, accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE, he is NATHAAAANNNIIIIEEEEELLLL... BBLLLAAAAAAACCKK!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

The Scots slide into the ring and send The Kingdom scattering, Faqu on orders, the rest out of fear. Black wears a sour expression as he climbs up the steps, looking over the ropes at Landon on the floor. A similiar expression is worn by Megan, as the King consults with Queen Esther.

COLE
If ever there were a perfect example of the phrase "Misery loves company", it would be this team. What a collection of sour, miserable and worst of all for The Kingdom, angry human beings.


*DINGDINGDING!*

Not in any rush to get inside with the roaming madmen inside, The Kingdom stall on the outside, keeping Faqu back in the process.

COLE
Black and the Last Kings pacing around the ring, like lions at feeding time.

As the referee encourages them to "get on with it", Landon tells him okay and puts an end to the stalling... by sending Blonde into battle. The Prince Of Panache doesn't seem too sure about this idea and he takes a little convincing. But, eventually, he gives in to Landon, because he's Landon. Blonde carefully slides in and comes up cowering from Nathaniel Black who's starting for the challengers.

COLE
Looks like James Blonde drew the short straw.

COACH
There are no short straws in the Kingdom, Cole. It's an honour to serve the King! No matter what the task.

Sticking close to the ropes Blonde tries to calm his former partner down as he stands, staring, eyes piercing through his opponent. King Landon gets impatient again and orders Blonde to attack instead of cower. And he does, getting in one boot to the gut before getting beaten like a drum by Nathaniel!! Black clubs away at Blonde who's left wailing in pain, unable to get off his stomach as the forearms rain down on him! Eventually Black lets up, by which point Blonde can barely move. Black turns to Landon and just gives him a look, causing the King to cower away.

COLE
Nathaniel Black is not playing around here tonight!

Black drags Blonde up by the hair and throws him into the turnbuckle. After some forearms and a European uppercut, he whips JB out, following him across the ring with a big clothesline! The crowd "OOOH!" as Blonde has the wind knocked out of his lungs and falls to his knees. Black drags him right back up though, whipping him back to the other corner and levelling him with another clothesline!

COACH
That's it James! Rope a dope! Wear him out!

COLE
What!?

Barely able to stand, Blonde takes a big forearm to the jaw and drops like a stone.

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Grabbing the hair again, Black drags Blonde over to the British part of the ring and makes a slightly tense tag with Scottish Scott.

COACH
Oh no.

COLE
Just when James Blonde things couldn't get any worse, here comes, 6'3, 260 pounds of mad Scotsman!

Scottish Scott takes the reins from Black, ie. Blonde's hair. And he delivers a big Headbutt to knock Blonde down. A look of worry adorns the face of King Landon as his Prince is shoved back onto the mat and hit with a legdrop. Cover...


1...


2...


Kickout!

The first signs of encouragement in the match, applause from King Landon and Queen Esther, as they realise James Blonde is still alive.

KING LANDON
That's it James! Hang in there!

COLE
Hang in there!? His advice is worse than yours Coach!

Scott picks Blonde back up, whipping him to the ropes. Able to duck a clothesline, Blonde picks up some speed, only to get steamrollered by a Scottish Scott shoulder block, sending him tumbling all the way to the other side of the ring! King Landon looks on, mortified.

COLE
James Blonde looks like he got hit by a truck! James Blonde probably [i]feels[/i] like he got hit by a truck too!

Tag is made, bringing in Danny Boy. Together the Last Kings Of Scotland pick Blonde up in the corner and puts a hand under each armpit. The Scots then proceed to toss Blonde through the air like a shotput, sending him halfway across the ring!!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Danny Boy makes the cover...


1...


2...


Shoulder up!

COLE
James Blonde is taking one hell of a beating here. A beating that's meant for Landon Maddix. And all King Landon can do, or perhaps is willing to do, is look on from the outside as Blonde takes the rap for him.

COACH
This is loyalty, Michael. A man willing to give his body to serve his Kingdom.

COLE
Well good, because that's exactly what he's being forced to do!

Danny Boy beats on Blonde some more in the corner, The Trendsetter almost out on his feet at this point. Irish whip sends Blonde across the ring. But as Danny Boy attempts a charge, Blonde makes one last desperate move, diving out of the way! Danny Boy hits the turnbuckles hard and grabs his shoulder, as Blonde flops to his corner and despairingly tags in King Landon!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COACH
Here comes the King!

Jumping into action, Landon immediately puts the boots to the wounded Danny Boy. Unloading with a series of roundhouse kicks, Landon then places his foot on the throat, choking Danny against the middle turnbuckle. As the referee pulls King Landon away, in the corner Queen Esther attends to Blonde, trying to ail him by fanning air near his face (well, she's a Queen, not a doctor).

COACH
Look at the King go!

COLE
The 2010 King Of The Ring, finally in and on the attack.

Snapmaring him out of the corner, Landon delivers a dropkick to the back of Danny Boy's head and goes for the pin...


1...


2...


No!

Landon quickly sinches Danny up in a front facelock. The Scot starts fighting back though. With shots to the ribs, Danny Boy is able to break free and grabs Maddix by the head, forcing the King to go to the eyes!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

That's more than enough duty done for the King's liking and he immediately makes the tag, bringing Faqu in to attack. Danny Boy falls into the corner blinded and is suddenly trapped, beaten on with wild shots from the Samoan savage.

COACH
Here's the power of the Kingdom! Nevermind angry Scots and bitter Brits, there's nobody meaner and nastier in the OAOAST than the Samoan Wrecking Ball!

The referee tries move Faqu back and gets wailed at by the wild Samoan for his efforts. Grabbing Danny Boy's mohawk, Faqu seems a little confused by the strange hairdo as he hits Danny right in the neck with a shot. And another one. King Landon gives the encouragements and the orders from the outside, as Faqu whips Danny Boy into a corner. With a big head of steam Faqu then delivers an Avalanche, to the mirth of both King and Queen.

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

COACH
If this doesn't count as treason, I don't know what does. Off with their heads King Landon!

The King gets worked up by the chants and starts getting into it with the Caesar's Palace crowd on the apron. Meanwhile, Faqu scoops and slams Danny Boy, following it up off the ropes with a big jumping headbutt drop. He covers, after instructions from Blonde...


1...


2...


Kickout!

Megan tries to encourage Danny Boy on as Faqu drags him to the corner for the King, like a cat dragging a dead bird into the house. Accepting the tag Landon stomps away on Danny Boy a little. Then, with the stage all his, he takes a theatrical and Kingly bow in the centre of the ring.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

COLE
And this crowd certainly not taking to their "King", here tonight in Las Vegas.

COACH
Look at this, all the pomp and the ceremony. We should all be celebrating royalty. Not booing it.

Immensely proud of himself, Landon picks back up on the match. He sends Danny Boy into the ropes and busts out a Dropsault, picture perfect! The Queen is joyous on the outside, while Megan and Black look on with disgust. Cover...


1...


2...


Kickout!

Danny Boy quickly reaches out for a tag, but is far too far away. Landon drops a knee to the back and applies a modified camel clutch, giving him the chance to smirk it up in the face of the Kingdom's cast-offs. The smirk is too much for Black to stand and he tries to come into the ring, but is cut off by the referee, which allows Blonde to come in and help drag Danny Boy away from the corner before taking over with the camel clutch.

COLE
No tag made there.

COACH
That's okay.

COLE
How is it "okay", Coach, they're breaking the rules.

COACH
Well, if Landon wanted to he could just repeal that rule. He is the King, you know.

The ref turns around and suspects foul play but the King and Queen insist a fair tag was made. Blonde stretches out Danny Boy with a smile on his face. The Scot starts to try and fight up though, not something to smile about. Blonde is forced to let go of the hold and drop a knee to the back to cut Danny Boy off. Thinking on his feet Blonde then says something to goad Black and Scott back into the ring, causing another distraction to allow for some triple teaming behind the ref's back!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Before you start complaining, realise this. If these Brits weren't such hotheads then this wouldn't even be happening to their partner. So who's to blame, really?

The stomps from all three champions wear Danny Boy down and when the referee turns around, he finds Landon leaving and Blonde covering...


1...



2...



No!

Quick tag brings the King back in. Danny Boy tries to get back to his feet, but while on his knees is grabbed by the mohawk. Landon lords it over the Scot for a second, before starting to kick Danny Boy across the face and forehead!

COACH
HAHA! Look at him, bowing down, kissing the King's feet!

COLE
This is just disrespectful.

Landon turns away and soaks it all in, jeered by the crowd again. Queen Esther revers over him though and that's enough for Landon. However, when he turns around, Danny Boy is up.

And he's not happy.

COLE
Uh-oh... I think the King just made him mad!

Not sure what to do, Landon hits Danny Boy with a forearm. But Danny Boy just shakes it off. Another forearm connects. And Danny shakes his head, "no", causing the King to panic a bit. He looks around for some help, then connects with another forearm shot. Danny Boy responds by slapping [i]himself[/i] across the face to show that all Landon's succeeding in doing is firing him up! And the King instantly begs off!

COACH
AAH! King!

Not accepting of begging Danny Boy grabs Landon and punches him right in the face! Again! And a third time!

QUEEN ESTHER
:O

Realising he's in trouble King Landon takes a big swing, but it's ducked. Danny Boy takes him up in the air and times an atomic drop, to cause Landon to fly forward and collide with James Blonde just as he comes in to aid his King!

COLE
The King and the Prince... more like the Clown Prince and the Jester if you ask me!

Danny Boy turns away ready to make a tag, but is attacked from behind by Faqu. The Samoan pounds away at the back of Danny Boy. Dropping the Scot to one knee, Faqu beats his chest and lets out a roar. As he goes to hit the ropes though, he's clubbed in the back with a double sledge by Scottish Scott!! The clubbing blow staggers Faqu, but he shrugs it off, turning around and roaring as he charges Scott...



...who pulls down the rope, sending Faqu flying over his head and over the top rope!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Scottish Scott jumps off the apron and takes the fight to the floor with Faqu, while in the ring, Danny Boy crawls over and MAKES THE TAG TO NATHANIEL BLACK!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Here we go! Nathaniel Black, the shackles are off!

Stepping into the ring, Black waits for Landon and Blonde to pick themselves up and turn around. The moment they do, and see Nathaniel staring back at them, they are suddenly full of remorse and regret for what they've done. Blonde attempts to save his own ass and tries to make friends, with Landon pushing him in the back, trying to get him to move in and attack. Non-plussed by all of this, Black eventually yells out at the two and wipes them both out with a double clothesline!

COACH
Come on come on, protect the King!

Blonde is up first and moves in on Black, but Black ducks his head and buries it into Blonde's midsection. With Blonde down and winded Black then turns his attentions and grabs a hold of Landon!

COLE
Black has his hands on the King!

COACH
Unhand him!

Black takes too long thinking about it though and Blonde recovers, catching Black from behind with a cheapshot. A shocked Landon leaves his understudy to deal with Black, clubbing away before whipping the Englishman off the ropes. Black ducks underneath a clothesline though. Able to catch a boot, Blonde thinks he's survived, but throws Black off and gets hit with the BLACK LARIAT!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

As Black turns around though, he's struck out of nowhere with a Superkick from Landon!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
What a kick, Landon was laying in wait, waiting to strike!

Cover by Landon...


1...



2...



Kickout!

Queen Esther begins celebrating a bit early and catches herself in mid-jump, disappointed.

KING LANDON
GET UP! GET UP PEASANT!

Being berated fuels Nathaniel, gritting his teeth in rage as he picks himself back up. Landon grabs him the moment he reaches his feet and sets him up, looking for the Complete Shot. But Black fights out with an elbow to the side of the head! And another! Staggered, Landon runs in, right into a foot to the face! And then another Lariat, knocking him off his feet! Cover...


1...



2...



NO!

Black grabs King Landon's blond locks and starts to drag him to his feet, signalling for the kill. Which is all Queen Esther can take and she gets onto the apron to distract the referee.

COLE
What is she doing?

COACH
Quiet! Clearly the Queen has something important to say.

We'll never know, however, as no sooner has Landon taken advantage of the distraction with a knee to Black's kidneys, Queen Esther disappears! Thanks to Megan Skye, yanking her off the apron!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Queen Esther is shocked and turns around to give Megan a piece of her mind. Megan just rolls her eyes, before SLAPPING QUEEN ESTHER TO THE GROUND!!!!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COACH
AHH!

Enraged, King Landon comes to the defence of his Queen and reaches out of the ring, GRABBING MEGAN BY THE HAIR!

COLE
HEY! What the hell are you thinking!?

Before Landon can do anything more, Nathaniel Black comes to the rescue. Grabbing Landon by the seat of his pants he drags the King back into the ring and delivers the Half Nelson Backbreaker!!

COLE
That'll do it right there!


1...



2...



KICKOUT!

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
No! The King is alive! Long live the King!

Black growls under his breath and does a quick slash of the throat, signalling for the end again. He picks Landon up and crosses the arms under the chest, looking for the Britannia Bomb. Landon drops to a knee and deadweights though, allowing James Blonde time to come off the top rope and put the BRAND LABELLING on Black with the knee to the side of the head!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

As Blonde starts to celebrate though, Danny Boy rushes in and clotheslines him over the top to the floor!

"YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Goodnight, sweet Prince!

With Faqu and Scottish Scott still brawling around ringside, Danny Boy waits for Landon to turn around. Ducking his head Danny elevates King Landon up, ready for an Alabama Slam. But instead, he drops to his knees, PILEDRIVING LANDON'S HEAD INTO THE MAT!!!!!!

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

COACH
AAAHH!

COLE
Landon got SPIKED, we've got new champions, surely!

As the referee drops down to count the fall though, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB HIT THE RING!!

COLE
Wait a damn minute!

COACH
It's the King's cavalry!

Lucius hops up onto the apron to reminstrate with the referee, distracting him from the pin. Realising there's no pinfall being counted, Danny Boy stands up, but it's Nathaniel Black who goes over and grabs Lucius, by the afro!! As Lucius wails in pain trying to get away, Danny Boy is drawn to the other side of the ring where Rico has climbed to the apron. But as Danny Boy grabs [i]him[/i] by the hair, he's suddenly STRUCK OVER THE HEAD WITH THE SCEPTER!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
NO! Rico with the scepter! Not like this!

Danny Boy hits the mat, lights out. But Landon is still out too. Thinking quickly, Rico sneaks into the ring, dragging the lifeless King over the top of Danny Boy. Rico then goes to help Lucius, able to throw the referee into a position where he can see the pinfall, before helping Lucius in holding Black in place.

COLE
This is highway robbery!


1...




2...




3!!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

COLE
The Kingdom has just pulled off the Royal Screwjob!

*DINGDINGDING*

Only just coming back to any sort of consciousness, Landon is able to lift his head and look around, wondering what just happened as James Blonde drags him to safety.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST WORLD 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... KING LANDON MADDIX... JAMES BLONDE AND FAQU... THE CUCARACHA KKIIIIIIINNGGDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Rico and Lucius manage to get away from Black and help carry the King to safety, with cheers and whoops of celebration. Queen Esther collects the title belts and hands them over, Rico and Lucius doing most of the celebrating for King Landon, who clutches onto his title belt bleary eyed and confused.

COACH
Huzzah for the King! Huzzah for the Kingdom! What a regal celebration it'll be tonight for the Kingdom in Las Vegas!

COLE
It'll be a celebration alright... a celebration that they got away with it. King Landon was beaten. He was [i]beaten[/i]! He can barely even stand! And yet, thanks to the rest of his lackeys, he scored the pinfall to retain the 6-Man Titles, which I'm sure will please him when he finally remembers what his name is and what year it is.

As Landon is carried away by the rest of his Kingdom, Nathaniel Black looks on from the ring seething with rage. Scottish Scott joins him, while checking on Danny Boy.

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