AM: Vinny V Vs Biffy A

[Patty O'Green 0]

Also threw a promo in here you can put on whenever. Gotta have celeb apperances, 149!

 

COLE
Folks, its been a great Anglemania so far but right now lets send it back to special guest interviewer…HEIDI MONTAG!

We throw it backstage where Celeberity Guest Interviewer Heidi Montag stands with Vinny Valentine of the Ghetto Groove Monkeys.

HEIDI
Hello, everybody I’m Heidi Montag and I am currently standing beside Vinny Valentine better known as the Disco Duck. I’d like to ask you how you feel about your match with Biff Atlas?

VINNY
Pow-pow-pow, go Vinny go-go-go! Backstage with a mama as fine as yourself and I ain’t even thinking of Biff Atlas. See, he’s a square, a chump, and a dweeb all rolled into one. He’s the Ultimate Square, the square all other squares aspire to be like! Vinny on the other hand is one cool hepcat. So what do how I feel about Biff? I feel he better run and hide under Melody’s daisy dukes, because I’m gonna whup his BUTT big time!

HEIDI
But he is your best friend.

VINNY
Is? He was my best friend. Vinny Valentine ain’t no friend to squares like that. He can take a hike to squaresville and cram his superhero junk with a sock. I put up with his crazy talk for a whole year. I’m mad as all heck about it, and I’m gonna do something pretty violent about tonight at Anglemania, baby!

HEIDI
Okay, well back to you!

 

[b]QUACK 
QUACK 
QUACK 
QUACK
QUACK[/b]

The sound of ducks quacking does in fact come from actual ducks, as a full flock of the waterfowl walks onto the Anglemania entrance stage. Like perfectly trained animals they line up in a row, patiently awaiting their human equally foul(lol) friend, Vinny Valentine. 

The groovy tunage of [i]Rock Your Baby[/i] summons out the Disco Duck, and the jeers drown out the quacking of the duck flock.  This matters not to Brooklyn native, who’s legs, clad in glittering rainbow sequin pants, jive and dance with the funky beat. He performs a fantastic twirl, before dropping to his knees and pointing his left index finger toward the open sky.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring he hails from Brooklyn, New York and weighs two hundred twenty pounds! He is the Disco Duck….VINNNNYYYYYYY VAALLLLENTIIIIIINEEEEEE!

COLE
Vinny Valentine making his second Anglemania appearance and it comes against his one time friend Biff Atlas. A tough challenge for the Disco Duck.

COACH
Please. From Nutrition guru to superhero Biff Atlas is still a bitch.

V-Squared’s name announcement is met with bile from the audience who all but turn their back on the OAOAST superstar. Vinny continues to reside in his own magical world, where he is king as he twirls to show off his outrageous tights.

COLE
Vinny wants to prove to the OAOAST Galaxy that he was the one that carried Panic! At The Disco to greatness. I don’t know what greatness he’s referring to but there it is.

COACH
There is none! And that’s Vinny’s point. The team was held back because of Biff. Vinny could’ve been so much more in the tag division and it’s the fault Biff Atlas that he wasn’t. 

Vinny slides into the squared circle where his latest twirl is met with more rage and disgust from Vegas. Finally getting the hint, Vinny merely resides in the corner to await his one time ally. He needn’t wait for very long however as a solemn faced Biff Atlas, clad in full on superhero outfit, appears on the entrance stage.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

COACH
Guys like Sandman, Bohemoth, Spencer Reiger, they’re booed out the arena but this idiot, and I can’t stress that word enough, is cheered? What is wrong with these people? Look at what this fool is wearing! My next door neighbor dresses like this. He’s eight!

Biff marches to the ring, as stone faced, as he was when he made his first appearance. This battle hardened expression does little to intimidate Valentine who waves the Venice Beach native on.

BUFFER
And the opponent! From Venice Beach, California... he weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF... AAAAAAATTLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!

COLE
Biff Atlas has come under the tutelage of Melody Nerdly from what we understand.

COACH
There’s a recipe for disaster if ever I heard one! That explains this moron’s outfit. It looks like someone threw up on Batman. This idiot. I hate him!

[B]DING DING DING[/B]

COACH
Now look at Vinny, that’s style! That’s style and class, and its perfect for Anglemania! Biff Atlas has no business on this show while boys like The Hellfire Club sit on the sideline.

The sparkling and bold Valentine points a finger at Biff and promises him defeat and destruction from the one man Disco Wrecking Ball. Atlas holds firm, refusing to be lured into fright from his one time best friend.

“DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!”

The cruel comments catch Vinny’s attention and he turns to the crowd to smear them with insults. This is Biff’s moment to strike, and he does quickly by hammering on Valentine with forearms to the back.

COLE
Biff getting the jump on Vinny Valentine!

COACH
A cowardly jump! Rip that mask off and show him what’s good, V-Squared!

Already tired of being brutally pummeled, Vinny attempts to make a hasty get away. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t make it more than a few inches before Biff shoves him violently into the corner posts. Still trying to save himself, Vinny raises his hands and pleads for a stoppage. Biff questions what he should do in the situation and turns to the audience,

“BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!”

Problematically for V-Squared that solves Biff’s moral quandary. The would be super hero winds up with a haymaker and takes a swing at Vinny. But The Disco Duck shoots bellow Biff’s attacking him and switches places with Atlas.  A wide smile appears on Vinny’s face as he prepares to unleash a torrent of chops on his former partner. But this attack pattern never comes off as Biff grabs Vinny by the neck and throws him back into the corner. There will be no reprieve for Valentine. Not at this moment as Biff begins blasting him with powerful forearms to the chin.

“BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS! BEAT HIS ASS!”

Biff takes hold of Vinny’s arm and throws him to the opposite corner. He comes rumbling in after him, and raises his arms to strike Vinny in the chest with a powerful lariat! As the audience cheers the beating, Vinny staggers out the corner. He throws a few punches at an opponent only he can see and then topples over to the canvas.

COLE
I didn’t think it was possible but Vinny is actually faring worse than he did in his first Anglemania match.

COACH
No. The difference tonight is he hasn’t been attacked by the Kool-Aid man.

Biff grabs onto Vinny’s heavily gelled hair, and uses it to pull the disco fanatic to his feet. Never one to give up on a bad idea, V-Squared again begs for Biff to ease up. No dice. Atlas devastates his foe with a left right combo that backs him back into the corner.  Biff stays in the center of the ring and raises the roof. No one ever accused him of being up on pop culture.  Regardless of his out of date commentary, Biff makes another dash at his old partner. But Vinny raises his sparkling legs and nails his opponent in the face with both his knees. 

COACH
That’s the way, V-Squared. Bring yourself back into this match. You can’t lose to a fool in a six year old’s Halloween costume.

Vinny climbs to the second rope, and blows a kiss to a now repulsed lady in the front row. Ignoring her poor reaction, Vinny flies forward and connects with an elbow to Biff’s head. The superhero falls over to the canvas, landing on his knees and dazed from the strike. This works to Vinny’s advantage as he comes off the ropes and punts Biff in the back of the head.  Atlas falls back first onto the mat, leaving him open to an easy pin from V-Squared….


ONE!


TWO!

Biff pops his shoulder off the canvas. Its an action that puts a dour expression onto Vinny’s face. He picks Biff up and stuffs him inside a front facelock. The Disco Duck calls for a simple DDT, earning jeers from the jam packed Vegas crowd.  He brushes them aside and expects to hit his hold. But Biff picks him up and whirls him around before slamming him into the ground with excellent force! 

COLE
What a show of strength from Biff Atlas!

COACH
Lucky break, Mikey, lucky break. If the crowd hadn’t distracted Vinny, Biff’s brains would be splattered all across this ring.

Biff falls atop Vinny for a pinning situation….

ONE!


TWO!


Valentine performs a kickout, deflating the previously enthused Atlas.  He pulls V-Squared off the canvas and tosses him into the ropes. Rebounding, Vinny faces a back elbow from Atlas. He ducks bellow the attack, however, and comes up behind his heroic opponent. This allows him to reach backwards and latch onto Biff’s neck in hopes of hitting a neckbreaker. However, Biff captures hold of Vinny’s arms and brings his opponent down for a clever backslide pin attempt!

ONE!



TWO! 

Vinny hurriedly slides himself out the unexpected pinfall, and appears frightened over having been pinned. Both men then roll themselves upright at the same moment. Its Biff who attempts to draw first blood with a swinging lariat. But Valentine ducks the attack, and succeeds in executing his neckbreaker! Pleased with his performance, he bestows upon himself a round of applause. 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

COLE
Vegas loves their retro acts, but there’s no love for Vinny Valentine here in Sin City.

Vinny grabs hold of Biff’s thickly muscled legs and bridges backwards to hurl him into the corner. Just as soon as Biff’s chest smacks against the posts, his head is struck by a running elbow from V-Squared.  Things worsen for Atlas as Vinny brings him down with an inverted DDT. The Disco Duck then celebrates his respectable performance with some groovy disco dancing!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

COLE
See what I mean.

COACH
These people don’t appreciate authentic acts, only imitators. I bet if the real Elvis came and cut a track these cats would call him flabby, husky voiced, and a cheap dresser.

Vinny lays into Biff’s sore head with stomps from his gator skin boots. Strangely, he grows mad at Biff when the boots become scuffed and takes it out on his former best friend with a knee drop to the top of his head. Biff grabs onto his skull in pain, as agony overwhelms him. The misery only grows worse when Vinny, aided by the ropes, kneels onto the top of his head. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer begins a count on the illegal tactic.

ONE!



TWO!



THREE!

Vinny breaks the hold…merely to replay the hold for three more seconds! Once he’s forced to make a final break he mounts Biff and tags him with several powerful punches. These closed fists don’t go unnoticed by the 85 year old referee, and an annoyed Vinny is once again forced to break away from his tormenting of Biff.

COLE
The Disco Duck may have been “quacking”….heh….in his boots earlier in this match but its been all Vinny Valentine since then.

Taunting Biff with lyrics from disco songs, Vinny begins scraping him off the canvas by his mask. But Biff heroically fights backs, peppering his foe with right hands. Biff manages to stun Vinny, and for that reason is able to take off to the ropes. When he returns, he flattens the Disco Duck with a powerful lariat!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” 

Although dazed and hurt, Vinny stumbles back to his feet. But this is a monumentally bad mistake as Biff merely runs through him with another lariat! Feeling a surge of adrenaline Atlas turns to the Vegas sky and lets out a mighty roar!

COACH
I hate it when this idiot starts getting confident. No one gets more excited about executing the most simple of wrestling moves than that clownshoe Biff Atlas.

Still seething with heroic fire, Biff attempts a third lariat on the Disco Duck. But Vinny counteracts that attack by kicking out Biff’s leg, dropping his opponent to the ground. 

VINNY
Vegas!

“BOOOOOOOOOO!”

VINNY
I want to put on my my my my boogie shoes just to boogie with YOU!

As the Anglemania audience derides him with insults, a delighted Disco Duck takes to the ropes. Once he reaches his one time compadre he nearly takes off his head with a shining wizard! Biff topples backwards, his head ringing out in anguish.

COACH
Hahahah! Biff got a taste of those Boogie Shoes! I love it! 

Vinny hooks onto Biff’s left leg for a pinfall effort….

ONE!


TWO!


Biff brings his shoulder up and evades certain defeat.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Angered by Biff’s pinfall escape, Vinny pounds out the canvas in frustration. When finished with his mini-tantrum. Vinny begins bringing Biff off the mat. But Atlas finds a surge of energy and runs V-Squared all the way to the ring posts! There Biff thrills the capacity crowd as he devastates his adversary with shoulder strikes to Vinny’s thin midsection!

“BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!”

Unnoticed amidst all the joy and celebration, [b]Mariano[/b] has crawled from [i]beneath[/i] the ring to slip a pair of [i]golden[/i] knuckles onto Vinny’s hand.

COLE
Wait a minute!  Wait a minute!

Unaware of what’s transpired, Biff backs away from Vinny to set up grander attacks. That precise moment is when The Disco Duck flashes forward to strike with his gold covered hand. But Biff swiftly ducks the attack and poor Clem Buzzlefoxer is struck down in his stead.

COLE
That could spell the end for Clem!

COACH
After 85 years its long over due.

Vinny couldn’t possibly care less about the injured official; instead his only focus is on destroying his one time friend. He lunges forward for another attack, but misses completely as Biff twirls him around with a spinning powerslam!

“YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans toss cheers into the open Vegas air.

But a pinfall cannot be made without any referee. Realizing that the dear offical has suffered grave malaise, Biff does what any good superhero would do and checks on the injured elder. But this leaves him open to attack, and its [b]Quincy[/b] who strikes now, smashing him in the back with a steel chair! 

“BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans are teeming with fury as Luther and Waldo usher referee Mike Chioda down to ringside. The official reluctantly slides into the ring and makes an even more reluctant scoring of Vinny’s pinfall…


ONE!



TWO! 


[b]BIFF MANAGES A KICKOUT![/b]

COACH
Noooooooo! I don’t believe it!

Neither can the Ghetto Groove Monkeys who freak out on the outside, while the fans celebrate with cheers.  Vinny shushes them, wisely assuming that Biff’s time in this match has come to a violent close. He begins picking Atlas off the canvas, but suddenly Biff shoots to life and takes Vinny onto his shoulders! Vinny struggles to fight free of Atlas, but can not find the ability to break his bonds. Within moments the Disco Duck’s goose is cooked with a DVD into a Michinoku Driver!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks scream, as Biff reaches forward to grab Vinny’s legs for a pinfall...

ONE!

But the GGMs have Chioda distracted.

COLE
Damn it!

However Buzzlefoxer heroically returns to action and scores the pin himself….


ONE!



TWO!


THREE!

DING DING DING

BUFFER
Your winner as a result of a pinfall….

Buffer’s announcement is interrupted by the disturbing sight of the GGMs flooding the ring and laying their tennis shoes to Biff! 

COLE
This isn’t right! Not one bit!

Vinny, despondent and enraged over the loss, quickly joins in. He takes grand pleasure in pounding at Biff, as Atlas screams bring a broad smile onto his sweat-drenched face.

COLE
Someone put a stop to this!

That someone is MARV and MEL led by Melody Nerdly, and her bouncing breasts! The two brothers hit the ring and immediately lay waste to Marino and Luther. Quincy eats a Double Kickflip (dropsault) for attempting to attack the highflying duo. 

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Waldo is next to fall as he’s suplexed straight out the ring onto his partners in crime. But Vinny won’t be so easily disposed of as he wields a chair. Forgoing MARV and MEL, he turns his attention to Melody. The Nerdly girl begs to be spared, but the crazed look in Vinny’s eyes tell her that her fate will not be a kind one. However the chair is ripped out Vinny’s hands by Biff! Outraged, Vinny whirls around, only to be pounded in the head by the chair and sent flying over the ropes!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The CAE thank Biff for saving their sister from sure doom. He sheepishly accepts their gratitude and even more sheepishly accepts his hands being raised in victory by the three Nerdlies.