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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (Iron-Man Match), September 18, 2003
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Sep 21 2003, 04:12 PM
Post #1





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SmackDown from JHawk's Beak (9/18/2003)
by Jared "JHawk" Hawkins

E-Mail of the Week: Eddie sent me this one after last week's SmackDown:

i havent seen smackdown since here in Dominican Republic its on 2 weeks later but just reading it i think it sucked and i love bitching about it with fellow smarks

I am now influencing people's opinions on the shows before they ever watch them! I got SKILLZ~!


Forums Quote of the Week: Put that gun away. -Damn near every poster the first half of the week


Tonight: Even if the main event is the only good match tonight, then it's going to be an awesome show, as tonight is the 60-minute Ironman match for the WWE Title with Kurt Angle against Brock Lesnar. Plus, two tag team matches that could potentially steal the show every week will also take place. There's also Shaniqua vs. Nidia and Torrie Wilson, but it can't be a perfect show, can it?



Segment 1

Open to Mr. McAsshole telling us that two world class athletes will attempt to raise the bar, as the first ever Ironman Match on network TV takes place. Look at the shocked look on his face, as The Undertaker comes in. He's not going to interfere in the title match because he has too much respect for the title to do that, but he has no respect for Vince since he knows Vince sent Brock to ringside during his title match two weeks ago. He doesn't forgive or forget. Undertaker's an elephant?

Welcome to SmackDown, and welcome to the RBC Center on the campus of North Carolina State University. What city is that in? That's a bit more relevant. And it was taped Tuesday, if you're stupid enough to ask why Hurricane Isabel didn't postpone the show! There's the tale of the tape for the main event!

Tag Team Contest scheduled for one fall: Rey Misterio Jr. (WWE Cruiserweight Champion) and Chris BeNOIT vs. Tajiri and The Man Beast Rhyno

Next week, Tajiri meets Rey for the Cruiserweight Title. Holy shit, planning! Tajiri and Benoit start. Headlock/shoulderblock sequence to start, then Benoit with the chops. Corner whip, but Tajiri goes for the Tarantula quickly. Rey tries to make a save, but Jim Korderas stops it, and Rhyno is in with a spinebuster for 2. No tag, but what the hell. Gore in the corner for 2. Chop. Forearms to the back. Benoit counters a back suplex into a crossbody for 2, then gets his own back suplex in. Tag to Rey, and he does the slingshot sitdown thingie. Note to Cole: A senton is when you land back first on a prone opponent. Watch some matches with Mike Tenay on commentary already! Moonsault bodyblock, but no cover, as he punches Tajiri. Bulldog headlock, and Tajiri makes the save. Rey avoids a Rhyno power bomb. Tajiri for the mist, but Rey ducks and Tajiri gets Rhyno. Benoit goes for a German suplex, Tajiri blocks, and Rey hits a 619 into the German. Wow! A 619 for Rhyno, Dropping the Dime, pinfall at 3:15. Short, but wow! **

Tonight, the WWE Tag Team is on the line! The WWE Title is on the line!


COMMERCIAL BREAK

No, I'm not going to complain about how short that one was. Not tonight. Not when we're guaranteed one hour in the main event. The match was very good for a three minute special, including one sweet-looking spot with the 619 into the German suplex. And with Los Guerreros vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team and the Ironman Match tonight, this could be a candidate for best SmackDown ever!


Segment 2

Rocky Wants To Be In Pictures has a movie next week, and he's on the cover of GQ.

Handicap Women's Match scheduled for one fall: Torrie Wilson and Nidia (w/Dawn Marie's Ass, which is attached Dawn Marie) vs. Shaniqua (w/The Basham Brothers)

Good. Get it out of the way and get to the good shit. Torrie and Nidia attack before the bell. Out of the ring, and a double baseball slide. Nidia stomps away when they reenter the ring, but the referee wants to enforce tags now. Shaniqua power slams Nidia, clotheslines Torrie, and covers Nidia for 2. Nidia with a roll up for 2. Shaniqua with a double clothesline, then she slams Torrie onto Nidia! Me next! Me next! Oh, sorry. Torrie is dumped over the the top rope, and Shaniqua power bombs Nidia for the pin at 1:41. DUD, as if it could have possibly been rated any higher. But wait! Shaniqua hits Dawn Marie with a big boot! And headfirst into the ringpost!

Stephanie McBitch is on her cell phone and drawing on a picture of Sable, and in come Vince, No Longer Able Sable, and The Too Damn Big Show. She didn't quit, and Steph asks flat out why she doesn't just get fired, but Vince wants her to leave on her own. And if Steph wants to play rough, then eventually she'll be begging to quit.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

This Shaniqua storyline can only be building up to one thing. Stephanie McMahon getting put in the ring with her as part of Vince trying to make her quit, and finding a way to do what the real talent couldn't do and take her out. I will say this though. Either they're piping the boos of the crowd in, or they're getting it over. I still don't care though.


Segment 3

Welcome to North Carolina! Let's review the first two Brock vs. Angle title matches, first from WrestleMania XIX, then from SummerSlam 2003!

Eddy Guerrero shines the US belt and Chavito Guerrero comes in. Chavo apparently got Steph to give them the title shot tonight. Eddy's proud that Chavo thought of the family, but Chavo was thinking of Eddy, as he'll be a double champion after tonight. But let's stop talking about it and let's go get the gold.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Is anybody else getting the feeling that we're eventually getting an Eddy-Chavo feud over the US Title? Just a thought. As much as I love this team, I'd rather see Eddy get a main event run first, but oh well.


Segment 4

John Cena says the Guerreros are better at cheating at Ben Affleck with J'Lo. But next week, he fulfills his patriotic duty and mentions something about killing the opposition like their Saddam Hussein's children. A US Title match next week? It's never mentioned anywhere else.

One fall for the WWE Tag Team Championship: Los Guerreros vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team (champions)

And we cut to the challengers' entrance with the champions already in the ring. Remember, WWE at MSG Saturday at 7:30. Please go. Pretty please with sugar on it?

Huge "Eddy" chant as he starts with Shelton Benjamin. Wrestling sequence ending with a tag to Chavo. European uppercuts. Quick tags by the challengers as they keep Benjamin in the corner. Front faceloc, but Eddy is caught in the champions' corner. Now it's quick tags by the champions. Eddy fights out of the corner and suplexes Benjamin over, and the tag to Chavo, who begins kicking away. Monkey flip. Dropkick. Satellite headscissors with at least 3 or 4 revolutions. Both Guerreros with dives over the top rope.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Stop kicking and start wrestling, damn it! You're not the Raw uppercard!


Segment 5

We're back with Eddy choking Haas with the tag rope. I've missed that spot! It's so retro! Thumb to the eye. Tag to Chavo, and some double teaming leads to a near fall. Chavo gets trapped in the corner, and he's apparently going to be "face" in peril. No, wait, Eddy tags back in. Shelton avoids the back suplex with a crossbody for 2. Eddy counters a power bomb with a sunset flip for 2, and a double clothesline knocks both men down. Tag to Chavo, tag to Haas, and a distraction leads to Benjamin superkicking Chavo in the previously injured left arm. And that's the focus, as Haas rams Chavo's arm into the turnbuckle. Hammerlock Northern Lights suplex for 2. Tag to Benjamin, who locks in a keylock. Tag to Haas. Armdrag takedown and a knee to the shoulder. Chavo fights back with one arm and gets Haas down. Benjamin attacks from behind to prevent the tag. Tag is made, but Mike Chioda was still getting Benjamin out of the ring and didn't see it. Benjamin tosses Chavo in the air, and he comes down with a dropkick to Haas and tags Eddy. Eddy is cleaning house! Rolling vertical suplexes to Benjamin, but Haas takes him down with a German suplex for 2. Benjamin accidentally superkicks Haas, which sets up Guerrero's headscissors/armdrag double takedown. Eddy up top, but Benjamin stops him. Eddy knocks him down. Haas avoids a frog splash but is dumped over the top rope. An angry Haas grabs a couple of chairs, hands one off to Shelton, and knocks down Eddy, but Chavo dropkicks the chair into Benjamin's knee. Double team to Haas, and a backdrop is turned into almost a piledriver. Ouch ouch ouch. Brain buster by Chavo, frog splash by Eddy, and we have new champions at 13:30. Slow start, hot finish. but outside of the minute or so of arm work, no sense of psychology at all. We'll be nice due to entertainment value and call it ***1/4.

The Ironman Match is next, and here are Tazz's keys to victory. Wow, they're making this a HUGE deal. I like it!


COMMERCIAL BREAK

I question Los Guerreros getting the belts back in their TV match in over four months, but hell, that was an entertaining little TV match. Pretty good stuff, and I can't wait for some more rematches.


Segment 6

Tazz and Michael Coleslaw talk about last week's Stephanie McMahon-Brock Lesnar match, and I still don't care. Um...you have 65 minutes for a 60-minute match. You might want to get to it. The wrestlers are in the locker rooms and in front of monitors getting ready for this one. And The APA is having a poker party to celebrate it as well.

60-Minute Ironman Match for the WWE Title: King Brock I vs. My Olympic Hero (champion)

There will be a 15-second rest period between falls, which isn't that long but takes away some cheap falls that could inflate the score. This is the first time in a long time I've looked forward to a TV match. There's the "You tapped out" chant.

First Fall: Brock with a kick to the midsection, and we're underway. Stomps and a boot choke. Kick. Forearm. Corner whip, shoulderblock, boot choke. Stomp. Shoulderblocks. HIGH Beell. More kicks. Angle punches back, but a knee to the midsection stops that. Elbow by Angle. Clotheslines. Dropkick to the knee, and down goes Brock. Belly-to-belly suplex, and Brock rolls to the floor for a Tastykake break. Back into the ring. Brock calling for time, and he favors the knee...until he gets a cheap shot in on Angle. Forearms to the back. Angle with a series of armdrags, and again Lesnar is outside the ring. Brock beats on the ringsteps. Lesnar in and out at 9 to break the count. Angle is getting impatient as Brock stalls and the crowd begins to get restless. This is boring to the casual fan, but actually sound strategy -- keep the champion off his game as 55:00 remain.

Brock finally back in, but back out as soon as Angle goes for the leg. Lesnar goads Angle in a drops him throat first onto the top rope. In the ring he goes, and he pounds away at Angle, including more boot chokes and some punches. Angle with another belly-to-belly and a clothesline that sends Brock over the top rope to the floor, and Brock again favors the knee. Angle finally follows Brock outside and goes to work on the challenger. Face-first into the steel steps. Punches and forearms on the floor. But he gets caught and driven back first into the ring apron, then into the ringpost. Brock rolls Angle back into the ring. He grabs a chair...um, don't get disqualified...there's a chair smash for the DQ at 8:30. Angle 1, Brock 0

Second Fall: Brock outside the ring, and he yells at Tazz. Um...you got to win some falls if you want to win the title, Brock. Finally back in, and he stomps away at Angle. Brock yells at Angle. 50:00 remain.

Brock with the F5, but a late cover. He gets the fall anyway at 10:20. Angle 1, Brock 1

Third fall: Kick to the ribs. Brock starts yelling "You want to tap?" Another kick to the ribs. And Brock uses the Ankle Lock! Angle immediately taps out at 12:08, possibly to conserve energy for the rest of the match. Brock 2, Angle 1


COMMERCIAL BREAK

Slower than I think we all wanted so far, but remember they have to go an hour here.


Segment 7

Fourth Fall: 44 minutes remain as Angle punches away, but Lesnar gets a knee to the gut. During the break, Lesnar used an Angle Slam, but only got a couple of 2 counts off of it. Back "live", and it's corner whip, shoulderblock. Series of shoulderblocks. Headbutt, and he hurts himself. Kicks to the face. Corner whip, but Angle avoids a charge. Series of right hands. Whip, reversal, Angle with a flying forearm. Rolling German suplexes, but no bridge. Lesnar uses Angle's tights to toss him outside the ring. He follows him to the floor and whips him into the guardrail. Lesnar in and out to break the count, and Angle tries to fight back. Lesnar catches him and F5s him on the concrete floor. "Holy shit" chant as Lesnar rolls into the ring and Angle is counted out at 19:56. Brock 3, Angle 1


COMMERCIAL BREAK

This is pretty much along the lines of Triple H and The Rock so far, with Brock amounting what looks to be a solid lead and Angle needing to claw and scratch his way back into it. It sounds cliche, but it's pretty solid booking from a dramatic standpoint.


Segment 8

Fifth Fall: 36 minutes remain, and Angle is punching away, because during the break he got in two belly-to-belly suplexes. A shoulderblock by Lesnar sends Angle out to the floor. Series of punches, but Lesnar begins showing fatigue. 35:00 remain.

Elbowdrop for 2 7/8. Forearm smash. Kicks. Whip, block, Angle with an Angle Slam for the pin at 25:55. Brock 3, Angle 2

UPN has allowed extra time if we need overtime. What do the local news affiliates think of that?

Sixth Fall: Angle stomps away at the challenger, then gets a suplex for 2. Series of stomps. Right hands. Brock with knees to the midsection. Angle with a belly-to-back suplex. Down go the straps Memphis style! Angle Slam, blocked, F5, blocked, Ankle Lock! Brock rolls through it, they avoid a ref bump, but Brock with a clothesline that misses Angle and hits Brian Hebner. Angle Slam, but no referee to count. Well shit. Lesnar with a blatant low blow. Brock out to the floor (still no referee), and he dumps the timekeeper to the floor and grabs the title belt. Into the ring, and he gloms Angle with the belt. 30:00 remain.

Lesnar goes over to wake up Brian Hebner, and the cover gets the pin at 30:27. Brock 4, Angle 2


COMMERCIAL BREAK

And there's your controversy should Angle lose the title. Does EVERY title match have to have a ref bump?


Segment 9

Seventh Fall: 25 minutes remain, and Angle is out on the floor...and he pulls Brock right out after him. Angle sends Lesnar into the steel steps. That's not a DQ? It's worse than a chair shot. Because it's on the floor, I guess. Angle back in, and comes off the top to the floor with a flying axhandle. Back into the ring, and Angle covers for 2. Angle up top again, and a great looking missile dropkick for 2. Bodyslam. Angle up for a moonsault, but Lesnar moves out of the way. Angle avoids a punch and rolls Brock up for 2, but Brock takes Angle down with a clothesline. HIGH belly-to-belly by Brock, who didn't even fall with him, and that only gets 2. Angle blocks the belly-to-belly, and Angle with another Ankle Lock, and Brock rolls forward and sends Angle to the floor. Brock to the floor after him, and he's kicking away at him. Into the steps goes Angle, and back to the ring they go. Brock covers for 2. 20:00 remain.

Brock to the floor again, and he's going for the steps. He's got a fall to give. Angle baseball slides the steps into Brock, which isn't a DQ since Brock was the one intending to use them. Back to the ring they go, and a couple of covers for 2. Forearm smash. Boot choke. Irish whip, elbow, two count.


COMMERCIAL BREAK

I'm liking the added element introduced here: Angle is down and getting desperate, so he's doing something he rarely does, which is going to the top rope. Anything to get back into the mat.


Segment 10

No more commercial breaks. Brock gained a fall with a superplex during the break. Brock 5, Angle 2 Complain about that if you want, but it adds a sense of legitimacy to the match.

Eighth Fall: 16 minutes remain. Out on the floor, and Brock rams Angle's head into the announce table. Brock wants the F5 into the post, but Angle sends Brock into the post, then does the F5 into the post himself. Angle in and out to break the count...dammit, take the fucking countout and get a fall back! Half Boston crab, and Hebner goes to Angle for no apparent reason. Brock reaches the ropes, but Angle pulls Brock to the center of the ring and hooks the Ankle Lock, which has actually been built to for a change. Brock again reaches the ropes for the break. Elbow by Brock, and there's an F5 on one leg. Slow cover, and since he's not Triple H at WrestleMania, it's only good for 2. Brock is going to head up top...um...I'd lock in a headlock and let the clock run out. Angle hops up and does the top-rope belly-to-belly for the pin at 50:10. Brock 5, Angle 3

Ninth Fall: Angle punches away. Trading punches now. Angle gets the edge on the punching battle. "USA" chant...Brock's from Minnesota, you jackasses! Up go the straps. Down go the straps again, but Brock blocks the Angle Slam and hits a DDT for...Hebner says 2, but I don't think I agree with that one. Angle with punches to try to come back, but Brock hooks a belly-to-back suplex. And another one. And another. Angle blocks a fourth one and hits one of his own. And another. Lesnar reverses another one, but Angle rolls it into an Ankle Lock. He should tap to break the hold since he has a fall to give, and Angle spins him around to prevent a rope break. He finally taps at 55:52. Brock 5, Angle 4

Tenth Fall: Angle right back into the Ankle Lock, but Brock rolls through and sends Angle into the ropes. Angle continues to go for the leg and puts on a form of the STF. He should go for pins at this point, because Brock ain't tapping out to tie it. The hold is broken, and Brock rolls to the floor. 2:00 remain.

Angle follows and locks on the Ankle Lock. Get back in the ring! And he rolls Brock into the ring. Dammit, if you're gonna do that, break the hold at 7 and take the fucking countout! Back in, and Angle into the rolling Germans. One minute remaining.

Do the bridge on the German already! Four Germans, and Angle still not covering. Brock with a low blow with 30 seconds remaining. Angle hooks the Ankle Lock. 15 seconds. 10. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, bell, but no tap out. Final Score: Brock Lesnar (new WWE Champion) 5, Kurt Angle 4 And Kurt has nobody to blame but himself for that one. He had to get the tap instead of the pin, and it cost him the belt. Great storytelling as a whole, but what was with all the brawling? ***1/2

END OF SHOW

Only a handful of problems with this one, most notably Angle refusing to take a countout when he could have earned one and Lesnar actually trying to get falls the final ten minutes when he should have had it on the deep freeze. And too much brawling. Why are two wrestlers with such incredible collegiate and/or Olympic backgrounds doing that much brawling over an hour? But I love the fact that it came down to what two athletes and what they were doing in the ring. No run-ins, no McMahons at ringside, just action (even with too much brawling). Slower than expected, so as far as Ironman Matches go, I'd put that above Bret-Shawn but below Rock-HHH.

No way is this a serious contender for Match of the Year with Benoit-Angle at the Royal Rumble, Jericho-Michaels at WrestleMania, Rey-Matt Hardy at SmackDown where Rey won the Cruiserweight Title, and Benoit-Eddy Guerrero at Vengeance on the WWE side alone ahead of it. It's a shame too, because I desperately wanted to rate this ****1/2 or better and can't bring myself to do it.

Overall, I can't necessarily say this was the best SmackDown ever, but it was pretty close though. Only one match that absolutely sucked with two that were quite good. Had they just not bothered with the McMahon family segment back in segment 2, it would have been even better.

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