Best of WWF & WCW: January 1996 (Part 1)

[Guest TSMAdmin]

The Best of WWF & WCW: January 1996

 

DVD OF THE WEEK

This week's DVD is the All In Family Complete First Season. All in the Family is one of my favorite TV shows, so when I found this set for only $28, I had to get it. This is a three-disc set with four episodes on the first two discs and five on the last disc. Season One includes some great episodes such as “Meet The Bunkers”, “Oh, My Aching Back”, “Archie Gives Blood”, “Edith had Jury Duty” and “The First and Last Supper”. As you can probably guess, I give Season One 10/10. Unfortunately, the only special feature is subtitles; so the DVD set itself gets 8/10.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK

 

In my opinion, the common cold is one of the worst sicknesses you can get. There is no way to make it go away, it takes at least 2 days for the decongestants to actually work, you feel like shit and look even worse. If anyone has any special methods they use to fight the common cold, feel free to drop me a line and I'll post the innovative ideas in my next review. If no one sends me any ideas, I'll just pretend I never asked for suggestions and hopefully all three of my readers will not notice.

 

"Get The F Out!" I don't understand why everyone is so pissed off about this. The WWE/WWF has not been about wrestling since 1997. Vince McMahon and most of the “smart marks” consider the WWE to be more entertainment than wrestling anyway. On Raw this week (May 6) there were about seven entertainment moments and only five matches, including the 30 second Regal match. Not much of a surprise there. In my opinion, the business survived the WWE's first name change (WWWF->WWF), so this one should be no different.

 

TAPE OF THE WEEK

 

This week we take a ride back to January 1996. This was a very interesting time for both the WWF and the WCW. WCW had debuted Nitro four months earlier, which led to quite a bit of competition between the promotions. Going into January Nitro won seven Monday nights, while Raw won six. Even though the ratings were still very close, WCW had the advantage because of the amount of money Ted Turner was willing to invest in them. Eric Bischoff, who was a commentator for Nitro at the time, made a hobby out of announcing the results of Raw, which was taped three times a month, during Nitro, which was always live. In response to this, Vince McMahon began to air the now infamous "Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin' Warroom" skits. In these skits Vince would exploit and make fun of Ted Turner, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and "Mean" Gene Okerlund. I think that should pretty much set the scene. This tape runs about four hours, so I decided to break the review into two parts. Let's get started with Part 1...

 

January 1, 1996: WWF Monday Night Raw (Rating- 2.6)

 

Raw Bowl: The Smokin' Gunns vs. Psycho Sid & The Kid w/Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon & Savio Vega vs. Yokozuna & Owen Hart w/Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji

The Raw Bowl is supposed to be similar to the Superbowl. All of the participants have custom made football jerseys, Earl Hebner is dressed like a NFL ref, the ring has a green mat on it, and Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler make a shitload of football related jokes. The rules are rather interesting…

 

*There is one team on each corner of the ring.

*Each team gets one timeout.

*A wrestler can tag a wrestler on another team, so teammates might have to fight each other.

*In order to tag out a wrestler must first make some kind of physical contact with his opponent.

*If one member of a team gets eliminated, the other member is also eliminated.

*The winners are the last team left; as I’m sure most of you could figure out on your own.

 

I think that pretty much covers it. As Razor and Savio come down to the ring, Goldust's usher brings Razor a bouquet of gold roses. Razor gets pissed and beats up the usher as Goldust looks on from a distance. We'll get back to the superb Razor-Goldust storyline in a little while. Another quick note, over on TNT, Bischoff announced the winner of the Raw Bowl during a Savage-Anderson match. Ironically, Raw still won the night by one tenth of a point. Owen Hart and Bart Gunn start the match. Bart gains the quick advantage with a drop-toehold and a dropkick. Bart catches Owen with a few armdrags, so Owen tags in Billy. Bart and Billy do a few counters and reversals before tagging in both Owen and Yokozuna. Owen is hesitant to enter the ring and runs into one of Yokozuna's clotheslines. Owen quickly tags Savio. Yokozuna hits Savio with a hard chop, but misses a legdrop. Yokozuna slams Savio and tags the Kid. The screen splits and we see Goldust watching the match from the press box. Vega hits the Kid with a clothesline for 2. Vega follows that up with a spinkick for 2 as Sid makes the save. The Kid tags Owen, who gets clotheslined a few times, but comes back with a kick to Savio's head for 2. Savio tags in Razor. Meanwhile, Lawler talks to the “Raw Bowl Queen” Ashley Allison and when she's not looking he looks down her shirt with binoculars. Even though Ashley seems to be a stupid slut, that was still inappropriate for 1996. Back to the match, Razor works on Owen's arm. Owen tags in Bart, who runs into a shoulderblock from Razor for 1. Razor tags Savio. Savio twists Bart's arm and quickly tags Sid. Sid gets Bart with an eye gouge and chokes with the top rope. Bart comesback with a clothesline for 2. He follows that up with a hanging vertical suplex for 2. Bart misses an elbowdrop and tags Vega. Savio picks up Sid for a slam, but his legs give out and Sid falls on top for 2. Sid tags in Owen. Owen catches Savio with an enziguri and tags in Yokozuna.

 

[WE GOTTA TAKE A PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE]

 

I love that line...surprisingly it came out of David McLane's mouth. Anyway, we rejoin the match with Yokozuna tagging in Owen Hart. Owen and Yoko hit Savio with a double headbutt. Owen goes for the Sharpshooter, but Savio breaks free with a kick to the face. Owen tags in the Kid. The Kid kicks Savio a bit and tags Yoko. Yoko does nothing (SURPRISE!!) and tags the Kid back in. The Kid charges Savio, but Savio moves, causing the Kid to get stuck in the tree of woe. The Kid tags Sid. Sid also does nothing, and tags the Kid back in. That was kind of stupid seeing how the Kid just hit his head on the mat, but what do you expect from Sid? The Kid misses an elbow drop, giving Savio time to tag Razor. Razor catches the Kid with a fallaway slam. Razor calls for the Razor's Edge, the Kid calls a timeout, but Razors does it anyway. DiBiase is irate and gets on the apron giving Sid a chance to nail Razor from behind. The Kid covers for the pin. Razor and Savio have been eliminated.

 

[WE GOTTA TAKE A PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE]

 

The thing I don't understand about the last bit is why Razor wasn't just DQ'ed for not giving the Kid his timeout. Razor and Savio still would have been eliminated and the finish would have made more sense. Why did they even bother making the timeout rule? It's not like any of the other teams use it during the match. A replay of the elimination is shown and we return to the match with Bart Gunn fighting the Kid. Money Inc. doubleteams Bart in their corner. Sid gets the tag, works the arm, and tags Owen. Owen assaults Bart in the corner and suplexes him for 2. Owen hits Bart with a kneelift and a kick to the groin. Out of nowhere, Gunn rolls Owen up for 2. Owen slams Bart and goes up to the top. Owen misses a splash as Bart makes the hot tag to Billy. Billy fights all four heels and nails Jim Cornette just for the hell of it. The Kid slows Billy down with a kick to the back of the head. Owen catches Bart with a neckbreaker and tags Yokozuna. Yoko SLOWLY goes for the Banzai Drop, but Bart runs in and pulls Billy out of the way, tripping Owen Hart in the process. Yoko ends up landing on Owen's back. Billy covers Owen for the 3. Yoko was calling a timeout from outside the ring, but Vince reminds us that you can't call timeouts from the sideline. Sid comes in and stomps Billy...a lot. The heels doubleteam Billy as the ref is caught up with Bart. Sid gets a nearfall and applies a chinlock. Sid catches Billy with a big boot and a legdrop (nice height), but he only gets 2. Sid picks Billy up for a slam, but gets small packaged for 2. They trade punches leading to a chokeslam from Sid. Sid SLOWLY picks up Billy and holds him for the Kid. The Kid goes up top, but Razor runs in and pushes the Kid off top on to Sid. Billy covers Sid for the pin. (17:43) *** The match was a lot of fun and a little bit different. That is another cool thing about the mid-90's, both the WWF and the WCW were trying new types of matches in the hopes of attracting more viewers. For example, WCW had their first ever triangle match at Starrcade 95. Definitely a good way to start the tape.

 

January 7, 1996: WWF Action Zone

 

Action Zone is essentially the Excess of 1995-1996. Sunny and Todd Pettingil were the hosts, so the show pretty much sucked. Todd's haircut and face remind me of the female ape from The Planet of the Apes. Anyway, a clip of Mr. Perfect playing basketball is shown. You see, he misses no shots because he's Perfect. Incase you were wondering, the footage is horribly edited to make it look like Perfect hit 25 shots in a row. I remember reading an interview with some WWF wrestler who went on to say that Mr. Perfect actually sucked at most of these sports, so he would be filming this one minute segments for hours. The guy specifically mentioned pool...I think. OK, moving right along. 0/1

 

In a rather pointless, yet funny segment, the wrestlers are asked who they think should host Action Zone instead of Sunny. Most of the answers were lame, but there were a few good ones. Razor Ramon, “I know the right person, she's out of work now, that news person Connie Chang.” Jeff Jarrett, “I think you got the question backwards. Sunny is good, but you gotta get rid of that Todd Pettingil guy.” Thank you for reminding me why I love you Jeff. 1/1

 

Now for no apparent reason, Sunny goes online and types. Todd hypes the website and we jump to a clip of Sunny sitting on "Bill Clinton's" lap at the Survivor Series. The Bill Clinton stuff is old now. 1/2

 

January 8, 1996: WWF Monday Night Raw (Rating- 3.0)

 

We start off with the NEW (for 1996) Monday Night Raw theme. It's basically the original Monday Night Raw music with some clips of the New Generation SuperStars. It's still pretty cool though. 2/3

 

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Grettler (JIP)

Ahmed was the Perry Saturn or Hardcore Holly of 1996. He was a very sloppy worker and I'm surprised he never paralyzed or killed anyone. We join the match just in time to see Ahmed deliver a horrible suplex, which Vince McMahon claims you will only find in the WWF. Knowing Vince, he probably thought the fucked up suplex was a real move. Ahmed goes on to hit Jeff with some nasty kicks, a spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge for the win. (1:00) Jeff Jarrett runs in, tries to hit Ahmed with his guitar, misses, and runs away. WOO-HOO, GO JEFF!! Ahmed proceeds to destroy Jarrett's guitar. Vince announces that Double J will face Ahmed at the Royal Rumble. 2/4

 

Brother Love is in the ring interviewing Ted DiBiase. DiBiase introduces us to the new Million Dollar Champion, the Ringmaster!! In my opinion, this was the beginning of the end for the WCW. The WWF just debuted their #1 star for years to come, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Typical WWF logic gap here as Vince says that the Ringmaster is well known, yet DiBiase goes on to say no one has ever seen the Ringmaster wrestler. Ausin looks odd with short hair and no goatee. The Ringmaster goes on to cut a pretty bad promo about winning the Royal Rumble. How could I not give this a point? 3/5

 

Jim Ross, the Slam Jam host, shows a clip of Shawn Michaels announcing that he will enter the Royal Rumble. This was shocking news at the time because it was believed Shawn was seriously injured from Owen Hart's enziguri. Even the Smart Marks bought into that angle. We go back to the studio now as “Scheme” Gene claims to have an update on the Royal Rumble, but you have to call the hotline to hear it. JR convinces Gene to spill the news on the air. Gene announces that Vader has entered the Royal Rumble, which of course the WWF already announced one week earlier. Vince McMahon, "That's typical Scheme." Believe it or not, this was some funny shit at the time. To top off the segment, they show a few of the wrestler's reactions to Shawn's return to the ring. 4/6

 

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog w/Jim Cornette & Diana Hart (In Your House 5)

For two weeks the WWF aired a couple of their PPV matches on Raw in hopes of beating Nitro. One week earlier they aired the HHH-Henry Godwinn Hogpen match, which was also from In Your House 5. I think they stopped doing this because they were didn't want the PPV buyrates to fall. Unfortunately the match is clipped a bit, but seeing how I don't have the full version, that's OK. Jim Cornette is at ringside with a Santa slip covering his tennis racquet. I miss Jimmy. Vince and the King speculate as to whom Diana really wants to win, her brother Bret or her husband Davey Boy. It's actually rather obvious when they show her ONLY rooting for Smith throughout the match. One last thing, there is this grotesquely fat woman in the front row you keeps screaming orders to Bret like, “FINSISH HIM BRET!” “THROW HIM IN THE RING BRET!!” Not mention her voice sounds similar to that of the kid with the mullet in Bobby's school on King of the Hill. The match starts with some lockups, as did most of the matches prior to the Attitude Era. A quick counter-reversal sequence leads to both men working on the arm a bit. Bret begins to aggressively attack the arm, but Smith hits him with a kneelift and a legdrop for 2. The Bulldog goes to a chinlock and chokes Bret on the bottom rope. Cornette hits Bret with the BUTT of his tennis racquet for 2. The Bulldog goes back to the chinlock, but Hart fights out and works on him in the corner. Hart gets sent into the turnbuckle sternum first, Bulldog covers for 2 as Bret put his foot on the rope. The Bulldog catches him with a backbody drop for 2 and once again applies a chinlock. This one lasts for a pretty long time, but Bret finally escapes and hits a bunch of his trademark moves for 2. Hart delivers a BEAUTIFUL piledriver for 2. Hart follows that up with an Irish legsweep and a forearm from the second rope.

 

[WE GOTTA TAKE A PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE]

 

Quick comment before we get back to the match. The Bulldog is horrible when it comes to kicking out. Realistically after a piledriver a wrestler should kick out when the ref is almost at 3. The Bulldog, on the other hand, was already in the process of kicking out before the ref made it to 2. We rejoin the match as Bret is setting the Bulldog up for a superplex, but the Bulldog literally LAUNCHES Bret, causing him to straddle the top rope. Bret falls to the floor where the Bulldog clotheslines him face first into the steel steps. Bret blades and loses a lot of blood throughout the match. The Bulldog picks Bret up and drives him back first into the ringpost. He follows that up by smashing Bret's head on the railing. The Philly (Hershey to be exact) crowd starts a "He's Hardcore" chant as Vince tells the cameraman not to zoom in on Bret's face. That sounds pretty weird coming from Vince of all people. JR I could understand, but Vince...The Bulldog opens up Bret's cut a little more and hits him with a sweet piledriver for 2. Smith gets Bret with a hanging vertical suplex for 2. The Bulldog continues his assault with a military press slam for 2 and a headbutt off the top to Bret's back for 2. The Bulldog applies a bow and arrow, but Bret rolls out and goes for the Sharpshooter. Smith fights out of it and shoulderblocks Bret to the floor. Vince keeps brining up how Hebner should stop the match and give Smith the title. The Bulldog suplexes Bret back in, but Bret slides off him and delivers a very nice german suplex for 2. Bret is on a roll tonight! A double clothesline spot gives both men a chance to catch their breath. Hart backdrops Smith to floor and flies on to him with a pescado. Hart goes back up to the ring apron and attempts a Vader Bomb (?), but Smith catches him with the running power slam.

 

[CLIP]

 

We jump to Smith removing the protective mats at ringside, revealing the cold, hard, Philly concrete. Smith goes for a suplex, but Bret blocks it twice and crotches Davey Boy on the railing. Bret clotheslines Smith to the floor. Back in, Bret hits Smith with a backbreaker for 2. Bret whips Smith hard into the corner causing Smith to flip mid-air and land square on his head. HOLY SHIT! Diana is visibly shaken by that last spot. Hart superplexes him for 2. Out of nowhere the Bulldog rolls Bret up, but Bret reverses it for 2. They miss a spot here as the Bulldog runs at Bret, Bret ducks, the Bulldog thought he was going for a backbody drop, so he flips over Bret for no real reason. Vince is great as he says something like, “Feel the impact? Only in the WWF!!” Bret hits him with a few uppercuts in the corner. Smith misses a blind charge and Bret pins him with a Majestral Cradle to retain his title. (17:27) **** Very good match here. Only about 3 and a half minutes were clipped off, so the clipping wasn't too bad. They’re quite a few hard-hitting spots in there though, which is a surprise considering how neither Bret or the Bulldog usually use moves like that.

 

Next up is the second “Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' Warrom” skit. The first one, for whatever reason, is not on this tape. In case you have never seen or heard of these skits before, they were basically the WWF's way of getting back at WCW for announcing Raw results on Nitro. The “Warroom” was a place where “Billionaire Ted”, “Scheme Gene”, “The Huckster”, “The Nacho Man”, and a few businessmen would talk about how to improve the “Dubbya-C-Dubbya”. Since I'm a nice guy, I'll transcribe the whole thing for you.

 

Billionaire Ted: OK guys, we need a new slogan for our wrasslin' show.

Businessman #1: How bout, uncut, uncensored, uncooked?

Billionaire Ted: AAAA...NAAHHH...we already stole that one.

Businessman #2: How bout ripping off "Unbelievable", like "Not Believable"?

Businessman #3: Yeah, like Ted's wrasslin' is not believable!

Billionaire Ted: This is no time to start telling the truth!

Businessman #4: We really need something original this time...

Businessman #2: How about, "This Is Where The Good Ol' Boys Play"?

Businessman #3: Or even just "This Is Where The Old Boys Play".

The Huckster: Who you callin’ old, BROTHA!?!?

Billionaire Ted: What did I just tell you guys? This is no time to start telling the truth...yes, Nacho Man?

The Nacho Man: LET'S LIE...How about "This Is Where The Big Boys Play"?

Billionaire Ted: AAAAA...I like that.

The Nacho Man: What if all our stars have to take legitimate test for steroids?

The Huckster: You don't have to worry about that, BROTHA, because we're not in the WWF anymore.

 

OK, that last line may have been a little over the top, but this stuff was pretty funny overall. 5/7

 

January 8, 1996: WCW Monday Nitro (Rating- 2.8)

 

Chris Benoit w/Brian Pillman vs. Alex Wright

The Four Horsemen had just recently resurfaced in WCW. The new version of the Horsemen consisted of Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Brian Pillman and Chris Benoit. Pillman was the "loose cannon" of the Horsemen, so he caused quite a bit of trouble for the group. For example, a few weeks earlier he made derogatory remarks towards the Dungeon of Doom, so the Dungeon of Doom got pissed and wanted to fight the Horsemen. At this point you could say Brian was in the "Horsemen Dog House". Benoit was still using his Canadian Crippler gimmick and Wright was just the German rookie. I feel I should mention just how bad the commentary was for Nitro in early 1996. You had Eric Bischoff who would spend the entire show saying stuff like "This is where the big boys play!" Then you have "Mongo" Michael who’s analogies are worse than Jim Ross’. I'll include a few of the funnier ones in the PBP. The match starts quickly as Benoit attacks Wright before the bell. Benoit hits Wright with a snap suplex followed up with a northern lights suplex for 1. Benoit throws Wright to the floor where Pillman chokes him with his Horsemen t-shirt. Back in, Benoit chops Wright in the corner. Wright goes up top and misses a moonsault, but lands on his feet. Wright catches Benoit with a spinkick, or as Eric likes to call it, a "Jump Wheel Kick". Wright comes off the top with a crossbody. Wright slingshots Benoit over the top to the floor. The “over the top” DQ rule was still in effect, but supposedly Wright did it by accident, so no DQ was called. Wright hits Benoit with a baseball slide, sending him into the rail. Wright flies off the top rope on to Benoit. Eric, "One thing you cannot imitate is our [WCW] success." Yeah, so why exactly is WCW dead and Eric Bischoff unemployed? Pillman distracts Wright for a while causing Mongo to throw in one of his astute comments. "Alex Wright needs to get himself one of those silent dog whistles to throw Pillman off." And to think, some people consider Dusty Rhodes to be the worst color commentator in wrestling. Back in the ring, Wright uppercuts Benoit and gets a couple of nearfalls. Wright applies a Boston Crab, so Eric thinks this a good time to talk about PPV prices. Eric goes on to say that "Titanic Sports" is raising their PPV prices, while WCW is keeping all of their PPVs at the low price of $19.95. It's interesting he brings that up seeing how 7 of the WWF PPVs that year were $14.95 and the other 5 were $19.95. Mongo chimes in with, "That boy's bent back like a Rold Gold pretzel. They're fat-free you know." OH MY GOD, WHEN IS THE WWF FOOTAGE COMING BACK?? Finally, Wright does something by applying a STF. Benoit comesback with some chops, but Wright stops him with a snap suplex for 2. Pillman grabs Wright's ankle, so Wright hits him with a pescado. Back in Wright misses a splash. They do a really cool counter-reversal sequence ending with Benoit hitting a dragon suplex for the win. (6:39) **1/2 The match was pretty decent, but it would've been better if the commentators gave a fuck as to what was happening in WCW and not the WWF.

 

Mean Gene is out with Sting and Lex Luger. Gene of course starts the interview by mentioning how another company just signed a few wrestlers who are on social security. I'm guessing he means Vader which is kind of funny seeing how Vader was in WCW only four months earlier. The current storyline was that Luger accidentally caused Sting to lose the number contenders triangle match at Starrcade. During the match Luger was on the floor, Sting was about to head back into the ring, but Luger grabbed his arm and got him counted out. Lex claims he did that because he was hurt and wanted Sting's help. Sting is reluctant to believe him until Luger offers to be his "official" tag-team partner. Sting likes that idea and lets bygones be bygones. Sting was always such a gullible idiot. 5/9

 

Ric Flair & Arn Anderson vs. Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage

*TAKES DEEP CLEANSING BREATH* Lets just get this one over with. Hogan and Flair start. Hogan slaps his ass towards Flair and they do an 80's hammerlock sequence. Flair hits Hogan with a very stiff chop, which Hogan of course doesn't sell. Hogan catches Ric with the big boot. Arn runs in, but Hogan easily clears the ring. The Horsemen regroup on the outside. Arn tags in. Hogan works his arm and tags Savage. Savage comes in with an axehandle to Arn. Savage continues to work the arm. Arn tries to suplex Savage to the floor, but Randy sends him into Hogan's boot. Arn falls to the floor where Savage hits him with another axehandle. Back in, Randy once again comes off the top with an axehandle for 1 as Flair saves. Hogan also runs in and pulls Flair's tights down revealing a nasty tan line. Flair tags and chops Savage. Ric goes up top, but Savage slams him to the mat. Savage applies a Figure-Four in the middle of the ring. Hogan runs in and applies a Figure-Four on Arn. DUAL SUBMISSIONS!! Arn pokes Randy in the eye and both faces release the hold. Arn DDTs Savage, Ric covers, Hogan makes the save at 2. Flair throws Savage over the top to the floor. Arn smashes him face first into the railing and rolls him back in.

 

[WE GOTTA TAKE A PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE]

 

We rejoin the match as Arn puts Savage in an abdominal stretch with some added leverage from Flair. Flair comes in and catches Savage with a belly-to-back suplex, for 2 as Hogan makes the save. Arn tags in, only to get caught in a sleeper from Savage. Flair hits Randy from behind and sends him to the floor. Flair whips Savage into the guardrail and rolls him back in. Flair tags in, but Randy catches him with a backslide for 2. Flair comesback with a shinbreaker. Flair goes for the Figure-Four, but Savage reverses it into a small package for 2. Savage gets another small package for 2. Randy begins to fight back, but Flair chops him down to the mat. Arn tags in and stops Savage from tagging Hogan. Arn goes for the DDT, but Savage holds the top rope. Randy makes the "should be hot tag" to Hogan. Hogan no sells everything and cleans house. Fortunately, Flair hits Hogan from behind, but Hogan comesback by clotheslining the Horsemen to the floor. Savage throws Arn back in. ARN HITS THE SPINEBUSTER, but Hogan gets up in less than two seconds and wins it with the big boot legdrop combo. (12:15) 1/2* After the match the Dungeon of Doom and the other Horsemen run out to fight each other. The Giant gets in the ring and chokeslams both Hogan and Savage. For some the reason the Zodiac stops the Giant from hurting Hulkamania anymore. DAMN YOU BRUTUS!! The only good thing about this match is watching the fans turn on Hogan.

 

January 13, 1996: WWF SuperStars

 

Thank god the WWF is back. A nice recap of Shawn Michaels’ concussion and the events that led to it are shown. A little bit of his announcement from Raw is tacked on at the end. Mr. Perfect claims that if he had an injury like Shawn's, he would never return to the ring. I guess he had a change of heart two years later. 6/10

 

Goldust is in the ring after winning a match. The lights are off and his music is playing. Vince says it's time to go to commercial, but Goldust begins to provocatively unzip his fullbody suit. Goldust reveals a heart with "Razor" written inside of it on his breast. Razor is shown watching this from backstage and he seems pretty pissed. Now THAT is classic WWF "New Generation" footage. 7/11

 

January 13, 1996: WCW Saturday Night

 

WCW United States Title: Kensuke Sasaki vs. One Man Gang (finish)

It's pretty weird seeing these two guys fighting for the second most prestigious singles title in WCW. Gang wins it with the 747 splash at 0:15. That wasn't one of WCW's better moments. 7/12

 

Gene is in the interview area with Col. Parker and Sister Sherri. This was during the Parker-Sherri love saga, which culminated at their wedding January 23. Unfortunately the wedding IS on this tape. They flirt for awhile and plug the wedding. Don't worry, it's only a matter of time before we get back to the WWF footage. 7/13

 

WCW World Title: Ric Flair w/Jimmy Hart & The Giant vs. Randy Savage w/Hulk Hogan (finish)

No explanation is given as to why Flair has Hart and the Giant with him. It doesn't really matter though because the Zodiac runs out and takes the Giant to the back. Hogan also goes to the back. We join the match as Randy is mounting a comeback with some clotheslines. Savage comes off the top with the elbow, but Hart distracts the ref. Savage nails Hart, Hogan runs out, Arn runs out with a taped fist and nails Randy. Flair covers and the ref counts the 3. (0:39) The Giant comes back to save the Horsemen. The Zodiac once again comes out to restrain the Giant. Hogan convinces the ref to reverse the decision, so now Savage wins by DQ, but Flair is still the champion. I HATE WCW!!! 7/14

 

January 15, 1996: WWF Monday Night Raw (Rating- 2.4)

 

A quick clip of Sunny playing pool is shown. Sunny talks about how she, and everybody else, likes it RAW! Did I mention how much I loved Tammy before she became a crack whore? 8/15

 

The Ringmaster w/Ted DiBiase vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is pretty funny looking. His hair is short, his chest isn't shaved, he has baby blue tights, and seems to weigh more than he does now. The Ringmaster starts the match with a side-headlock. Hardy gets a quick rollup for 1. Matt hits him with a shoulderblock, but the Ringmaster comes back with a Thesz Press. Matt once again catches him with a near fall. The Ringmaster hits Matt with a backbody drop. Vince and the King make some O.J. Simpson jokes as the Ringmaster works on Matt in the corner. The King brings up how Billionaire Ted doesn't like how the WWF is portraying him as a "Hillbilly with a bad suit". Supposedly that was quoted from some newspaper. Matt comes back with some kicks and goes for a suplex, but the Ringmaster reverses it into a face forward suplex for 2. The Ringmaster chokes Matt on the middle rope for a while. Matt begins to gain some momentum, but the Ringmaster catches him with a stun gun and the Million Dollar Dream for the win. (4:36) DUD Typical WWF squash here.

 

Another Shawn Michaels video is shown and it is better than the other one. The weird thing is that Shawn considered himself the WWF's "top dog" back in 1995 when he got jumped in Syracuse. I guess large egos can make people delusional. 9/16

 

Next up is Round 3 of Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' Warroom!!

 

Billionaire Ted: I've bought myself a network, I've bought myself a World Series, I've bought myself a library of classic movies...heck, I even colorized a few of them...but why can't I buy the WWF?

Businessman #1: We're trying Ted...

Billionaire Ted: AAAAAA...how come their wrasslin' is still better than ours?

Businessman #2: They got better athletes. All we've got are the disloyal, greedy, has-beens from the 80's.

The Huckster: Who you callin' a has-been, brotha?

Scheme Gene: Can't blame a guy for trying to con...errr...make a buck!

The Nacho Man: Who you callin’ disloyal? Besides, I started in the 70's, not the 80's.

Billionaire Ted: Well then, go out there and buy me some of those...AAAAA...WWF Generation SuperStars. AAAAAAA...Huckster, what if we called you the boy toy? Yeah!

 

At least when Vince takes shots at the competition it comes off as humorous and not pathetic. 10/17

 

Vince McMahon is in the ring with Goldust. This interview is great, so I'll write it out for all of you.

 

Vince McMahon: Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, the most bizarre individual in the WWF, on his way to fight Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Championship at the Royal Rumble...

 

[Goldust feels Vince up]

 

The King: What's the matter McMahon, a little homophobic? Goldust, see if Vince has fake hair on his chest as well.

 

Vince McMahon: Goldust, do you really mean what you say, or are you trying to play on the homophobic fears of Razor Ramon.

 

Goldust: Mr. Television Announcer, is that an extra microphone in your pants, or are you just happy to see me. There are a lot of men out there, I am selective, I look very carefully to find that one who can give me the worst possible time. That is when I make my move. And you know this one, Tootsie, 1982. Razor Ramon, I want you so bad, Bad Guy, more than any man or woman can ever want a human being. You look into these eyes, oh bad one, I am Goldust and this is our little secret. Don't you forget the name, naughty boy, of GOLDUST!

 

The King: Goldust is here, he may be queer, get used to because he is going to be the next Intercontinental Champion. Goldust likes Razor Ramon and Billionaire Ted likes the "Boy Toy".

 

Dok Hendrix, with mullet, is backstage waiting for Razor Ramon to arrive. BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!! The look of disgust on Vince's face throughout the entire interview was great. 11/18

 

Razor Ramon finally arrives and is looking for Goldust. 11/19

 

Dok is now interviewing Goldust backstage. They talk about Goldust's upcoming match with Bret Hart next week on Raw. It looks as if Goldust borrowed Dirk Diggler's prosthetic for this angle. Yeah...anyway, Razor attacks Goldust and they have a wild brawl. IT'S BREAKING DOWN IN TULSA!! Goldust catches Razor with a low blow. Goldust flees the scene. 12/20

 

Now Sunny is taking a bubble bath. She reminds us that, "We just did it for almost one hour...now that's Raw!" Seriously, how did the WCW actually compete with this stuff? 13/21

 

Dok is backstage with Goldust again. Razor is back and they brawl out of the building. The two fight into the snow banks in the parking lot. In a funny moment, Goldust trips and falls flat on his face as he runs to his car. What a way to end the show! This storyline is what set the bar for everything that has happened since 1996 and it is still great stuff to watch six years later. 14/22

 

January 15, 1996: WCW Monday Nitro (Rating- 3.5)

 

Mean Gene is in the ring with both the Four Horsemen and the Dungeon of Doom. Pillman is wearing his Horsemen t-shirt, which pisses off Arn Anderson who is in a suit. Arn talks about how fighting the Dungeon wouldn't result in a financial gain for either faction. Sullivan lets Flair "borrow" the Giant for his match at the Clash of Champions. Sullivan goes on to say that his only problem is with Brian Pillman. Brian gets all worked up, so Arn slaps his across the face!! AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE HAS BEEN FORMED TONIGHT ON NITRO! This was actually some cool shit and it gave WCW their first point on this tape. 15/23

 

The Public Enemy vs. The American Males

This is the Enemy's debut match in WCW. Bischoff tires to read the Enemy's jackets, but of course fucks up by calling Johnny Grunge "Violent By Decision" instead of "Violent By Design". Bischoff thinks you can sum up the Male's success in two words, "dropkick", make that three words, "flying dropkick". Eric, after spending almost 10 years in business, you should know that "dropkick" is one word. Mongo starts the match with another brilliant comment, "Heenan, just because your head is shaped like a giant hubcap, doesn't mean you're a big car around." The Males charge the ring and hit the Enemy with a double backbody drop and dual clotheslines to the floor. The Enemy pull the Males out of the ring and they brawl for a little while. Back in, the Enemy doubleteam Riggs in the corner. Bagwell comes off the top and catches both Rock and Grunge with a flying crossbody. The Males dropkick the Enemy to the floor. BIG E-C-W CHANT! Things finally settle down in the ring as Riggs and Grunge are the legal men. Riggs gets a quick sunset flip, or a headscissors according to Eazy E, for 2. Rock catches Riggs with a quick kick to his back. Riggs comesback with a hairpull takedown and tags Bagwell. Bagwell SINGLE HANDEDLY takes out both members of the Public Enemy. Good job WCW booking team, your new tag-team already looks like a pair of jobbers! It usually takes you two weeks to accomplish that, but you just did it in one match. Bagwell rolls up Grunge, but Rocco hits him, causing Grunge to roll up Bagwell for the pin. (3:27) 1/2* After the match they brawl some more. The Public Enemy stacks two tables on top of each other and puts Bagwell on them. GRUNGE COMES OFF THE TOP WITH A SENTON THROUGH BAGWELL AND BOTH TABLES!! HOLY SHIT!! Of course this spot would have been more realistic had the tables not broken cleanly right down the middle. Forgetting the gimmicked table, I think this was the first "ECW Hardcore-Highspot" in WCW history. Just like the match started with a Mongo comment, it ends with a Mongo comment, "Are they gonna pay for those tables?" Eric, "FORGET THE TABLES, they may have broken this kid's back."

 

WCW World Title: Ric Flair w/Jimmy Hart vs. Sting (finish)

We join the match with Flair going up top, but Sting slams him to the mat. Flair hits him with some chops, which of course Sting doesn't sell. Sting hits Flair with a military press slam and a 10 punch in the corner. Hart gets on the ring apron, Luger runs out and gets the megaphone from Hart. In the process Luger hits Sting with the megaphone. I think it was supposed to look like an accident, but it didn't. Flair puts the Figure-Four on Sting who is down for the 3. (1:40) Flair keeps the hold on, but Hogan and Savage run out to make the save. Luger also quietly walks away. Mean Gene gets in the ring to talk to the Hulkamaniacs. Mongo, "That's twice Luger has hurt Sting. That guy has to wake up and smell the manure." Gotta love those southern jokes. Hogan tries to talk some sense into Sting. Savage gets the mic and starts screaming in Sting's face. Sting doesn't even remember getting hit by Luger. Sting leaves the ring to find Luger. That leaves Gene with Hulk and Savage. Hulk is pissed that Savage has a rematch for the WCW Title next week on Nitro. Hulk believes he deserves the title shot because he's been on a roll. Savage takes offense to Hogan's comments, so he leaves. Well, that could've been mistaken as a shoot interview.

 

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That's the end of Part I. So far I'm digging this tape, save some of the WCW stuff. I'll be back next week with Part II which includes Vader's Monday Night Raw debut, Savage's title shot, and some of the Clash. In case you are already interested in buying this tape, here is the link to the only site that sells it: Wrestling Power.

 

As for me, well, you can send me hate mail and what not at [email protected]