WWF Hulkamania (1985)

[Guest TSMAdmin]

WWF Hulkamania (1985)

 

DVD OF THE WEEK

 

Last week I did the new Planet of the Apes, so this week I'll do the original version. The movie itself is good at times and bad at others. I really dig the story itself and how it can be compared to modern day diversity. I don't like the costumes or the idiotic nephew of Corneilous and Zira. How anyone cannot love the ending is beyond me. The movie is 7/10. The DVD has trailers for the other four Planet of the Apes movies and a picture gallery. Overall I'll give it an 8/10 because some of the trailers are ridiculously lame.

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK (RAW & SMACKDOWN)

 

Raw- It seems like there are mixed feelings about this weeks show, but I can firmly say that I enjoyed it. Sure there was too much piss and vomit, but there was also some good wrestling and storyline development. When I watch Raw now, I just hope that it is better than the nWo vs. Austin & Bradshaw days. I think that we shouldn’t count Shawn out just yet. He has surprised us in the past and maybe he will be able to wrestle a few more matches. Someone on the board said that he won't be wrestling anymore because a doctor told him not to. Doctors also told Ric Flair and Steve Austin to never wrestle again and they are just fine years (decades) later. Just give him a chance.

 

SmackDown!- I haven’t watched it as of yet.

 

TAPE OF THE WEEK

 

Let's take a look back at 1984, the beginning of the WWF's initial surge of popularity that lasted well into 1990. In 1982, Nick Bockwinkle was the AWA champion. Vern Gagne booked a Hulk Hogan-Nick Bockwinkle match for the title. A Hogan win was teased and the crowd went BATSHIT, but Bockwinkle ended up retaining the title. A few months later Vince McMahon signed Hulk Hogan. Hogan went on to become the biggest star in the history of wrestling all because Vern Gagne allowed him to leave the AWA. I guess if Verne let Hogan win the AWA Title, the WWE wouldn't be where it is today and the entire world of wrestling would be completely different. Scary. This tape was the first ever Hulk Hogan video. It was produced in 1985, but all of the footage is from 1984. Most of the matches are heavily clipped, which probably is a good thing.

 

A young Vince McMahon, with his natural hair color, introduces us to Hulkamania and the matches that we will be seeing. 0/1

 

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Greg Valentine ~ August 4, 1984 (Philadelphia Spectrum)

Gorilla Monsoon is the lone commentator and Valentine was the Intercontinental Champion here. Valentine starts with some forearms and tries to slam Hogan's head into the top turnbuckle, but Hogan puts the brakes on the slams Valentine into it. Hogan punches him a bit and Valentine takes a Flair Flop. They go for a test of strength, but Valentine knees Hogan in the chest. The Hammer stomps a mudhole in him and applies a camel clutch. Hogan powers out and rams Valentine into the corner. Hogan headbutts him. Valentine catches a breather outside, but Hulk follows him and slams his head into the apron twice. Valentine stomps Hogan as he is rolling into the ring. Valentine comes off the second rope with an elbow, followed by an elbow drop for 2. Valentine slams him and goes to a double toehold. Greg uses the ropes for the leverage and the ref does nothing. Valentine takes apart Hogan's knee by smashing it into the ring apron and hitting it with a chair. The ref could care less because he knows what is coming up...The Hammer continues to prep Hogan for the Figure-Four, but here it is THE FIRST HULK-UP OF THE TAPE!! Hogan comesback with a BIG clothesline and suplexes Valentine from the apron to the ring. Hogan gets him with a VERY LAME atomic drop. Valentine comesback with an elbow and a choke. Greg goes up top, but Hogan slams him to the mat. Hogan actually sells his leg injury. He is definitely running on all cylinders tonight. Valentine goes back to the leg and attempts to apply a Figure-Four, but Hogan kicks him off. Valentine misses an elbow drop. Clothesline, legdrop, 3 count. (8:56) 3/4* After the match, Valentine throws the ref to the floor and takes the WWF Title, but Hogan literally mauls him and does his usual poses. What I want to know is why no "Big Boot" to lead into the legdrop?

 

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big John Studd w/Bobby Heenan ~ December 10, 1984 (Meadowlands, NJ)

Big John Studd's $15,000 Bodyslam challenge was still in effect here meaning, if Hogan slams Studd he gets $15,000. This match is actually pretty famous. The commentators are Gorilla Monsoon and Howard Finkel. The fans are going wild, but I think that the sound might be added by the WWF because from the looks of the crowd no one is making a sound. They walk around the ring for about a minute. Both try to bodyslam each other, but nothing comes out of it. Hogan goes after Heenan, but misses him. Studd shoulderblocks Hogan, no effect. They once again go for the slam. Studd beats him in the corner. Hogan picks him up for the slam, but can't turn him over and plant him. Studd misses and elbow giving Hogan the chance to use his array of punches and elbows. Hogan gets the big boot and a clothesline. Hogan still can't slam him. Hogan hits a clothesline in the corner and picks up Studd, but Studd grabs the ropes. In a rather disgusting moment, Studd semi-moons the Jersey crowd. Studd pulls Hogan outside and smashes his head into the announcer's table and the ringpost, thus drawing blood. Studd sends Hogan face first to the rail. Hulk tries to get back in, but Studd knocks him back to the floor. Studd rolls Hogan back in and goes up top. Studd comes off the top with a forearm to Hogan's back. Studd elbows him for 2 and slams him. SEMI-HULK UP! Studd kicks Hogan to the floor, but Hogan brings Studd out with him. FULL-HULK UP!! Hogan blocks some punches and SLAMS HIM ON THE CONCRETE. The arena has literally came unglued. Hogan wins by countout and doesn't get the $15,000 because he didn't slam Studd in the ring. (7:54) 1/4* One of the matches that led to this match is coming up a little later.

 

This is one of my favorite WWF segments of all-time. Basically, Hogan, Vince (w/powder pink suit), and Lord Alfred Hayes plug the Hulk Hogan "Python Powder" and "Python Packs". Hogan says that the powder is still being experimented with because they aren't sure if the kids can handle. Hogan actually says that MILK IS FOR BABIES!! That is out of character. Hogan turns on the blender and scares the shit out of Vince. The Python Packs include like 20 pills a day. Yeah, I'm sure that is safe. Vince brings up how the packs are medically sealed, so the WWF won't have any problems. Hogan pours Alfred and Vince a protein shake. Vince spends like five minutes trying to open the Python Packs. It's pretty funny watching him try to bite the package open. Vince doesn't advise anyone should down all the vitamins at once. WELL DUH. Vince likes the shake and Alfred says that he appeased his hunger earlier. Vince says that taking the vitamins is like taking an antibiotic. That's it put me down for a year's supply. Alfred finally tries the drink and proceeds to vomit. Alfred looks like Dr. Ziaus from Planet of the Apes. 1/2

 

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. "Dr. D" David Schultz ~ June 17, 1984 (Minneapolis, MN)

Mean Gene and Gorilla are the commentators for this one. Another famous match here. It is also known as the "Minnesota Massacre". David Schultz is most well known for pulling a "Vader" when he attacked 20/20 reporter John Stossel for questioning the reality of wrestling. Stossel ended up receiving a $280,000 settlement from the WWF. Why can't a wrestler attack me? I could use a few hundred grand. Schultz attacks Hogan from behind and beats on him in the corner. Dr. D chokes Hogan with his own sweatband. Oh the irony…Schultz clotheslines him for 2 and goes back to the choke. Dr. D comes off the second rope with an axehandle. Schultz forearms Hogan, sending him to the floor. Dr. D nails Hogan in the face with a chair drawing blood. Easily one of Hulk’s best blades turns him hair strawberry blond. Hogan struggles to get back in, but he is kicked to the floor. In the ring, Schultz bites Hogan’s face and comes off the second rope with an elbow drop for 2 as Hogan kicks out WITH AUTHORITY! HULK UP BABY!!! Hogan gouges Dr. D and chokes him. What a hero…what a great American that Hulk Hogan is. Hogan clotheslines him and drops an elbow, but stops the count at 2! BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! Hogan legdrops him, but once again stops the count. Hogan sends him to the floor where he smashes Schultz’s head into the ringpost. Back in, Schultz hits a clothesline! Hogan might have made a BIG mistake before. Schultz misses an elbow off the top. Replay. Hogan wins it with a clothesline. (8:52) *1/4 After the match, Schultz attacks with the belt and puts it on. Hogan punches to regain his title. That was your match of the tape ladies and gentlemen, but the show goes on.

 

WWF Title- Cage Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Big John Studd w/Bobby Heenan ~ April 6, 1984 (Kiel Auditorium, St. Louis)

Gorilla commentates this heavily clipped match. Escape rules only here, no pins or submissions. The match starts with Studd ramming Hogan into the cage. Hogan bleeds and stops Studd from escaping through the door. Hogan now sends Studd to the cage and draws blood. Studd clotheslines Hogan, but still can’t make it out. Studd comes off the second rope with a forearm and is once again stopped at the door. Hogan runs into the cage and Studd tries to climb out, but he is pulled back down tot he canvas. Hogan whips Studd into the cage at about 1/2000 MPH and legdrops him. Hogan leaves through door. (5:47) DUD Hogan has to be the only face to ever leave through the door.

 

Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan have a long and boring sit-down interview. Hogan says that he tries to live his life like Andre the Giant. Hmmm…I wonder how many 40’s Hogan downed a night. 1/3

 

WWF Title: Iron Sheik w/Gen. Skandor Akbar vs. Hulk Hogan ~ January 23, 1984 (Madison Square Garden, NY)

The most influential match in the history of wrestling is right here. Hogan pearl harbors the Sheik and chokes him with his own robe. Hogan with the big boot and a running elbow for 1. Hogan misses a blind charge. The Sheik gets him with a backbreaker, but Hogan kicks out at 2 WITH AUTHORITY! The Sheik loads up his boots and kicks Hogan’s kidneys. The Sheik puts on the boston crab, but Hogan powers out. The Sheik suplexes him for 2 and applies the camel clutch. Hogan breaks the hold and legdrops him for the title. (5:33) ½* And the Rock N’ Roll-Wrestling Connection has just begun.

 

Coming attractions for the Best of the WWF VOL. 2, an Andre the Giant tape and the WWF’s most unsual matches.

 

THIS IS IT

 

A lot of historical stuff here, but most of it sucks. The WWF released many of these matches on other Coliseum videos, so if you are looking for one specific match it might be on a better tape.

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Next up: Confidential will be done on Sunday and I have no idea what will be up next Friday. If you have any suggestions send them my way and I’ll see if I have the tape.

 

Retro Rob