On the box: Britney Spears fanography
In the player: NOTHING!
Heavy rotation: NOTHING!
Sore thumbs: SWEET FUCKING NOTHING!
Well, I’m back… kinda.
I’m still stuck at home without a GameCube, DVD player, or anything else that might alleviate my boredom right now. Y’see, I came back home for Valentine’s Day and my girlfriend’s birthday, and we went out for a REALLY FUCKING NICE MEAL on Saturday night, with the plan that we’d head back on Sunday afternoon.
The problem is that she got sick (hmm, maybe it wasn’t that great a meal after all), and so I stayed home to look after her. Which is cute, and sweet, and will earn me lots of sex, but now that she’s better and going back to work, I’m stuck in the house and I’m bored off my ass. I mean, there is NOTHING to do. Satellite TV is shit, Windows solitaire is shit, and there’s only so much porn that you can look at. Hell, when you’re bored of looking at PORN, you know it’s bad.
Not much else has been going on. Datel’s Action Replay and Freeloader have had their share of teething troubles they’ve already released an UPDATED version of the Freeloader, which shows you just how manic things are. I still haven’t received my AR yet (as they still haven’t shipped about 75% of their orders), but as soon as I do, I’ll give you guys the low-down.
Well, I’m out of banter, so I guess it’s ON WITH THE CONTENT.
WHAT’S HOT THIS WEEK
I’m running late with this week’s update, so this’ll be fairly abbreviated.
The Fear & Loathing… Criterion Collection DVD is out now, and really should be in everyone’s collection. It’s such a fucking good movie, and Criterion have given it the DVD treatment it rightfully deserves. M*A*S*H* Season 3 Collector’s Edition, which seems to be a Collector’s Edition in name only, since I can’t find any specs for it other than “Three Discs”. Gluttons for punishment might want to check out Spy Kids 2, or the Stargate: Ultimate Edition. I NEVER got into that flick a buddy of mine went to see it and fell asleep, but he felt bad so he went to see it another time, and fell asleep again. That about sums it up for me. I wasn't much more excited by City By The Sea.
I never saw One Hour Photo, but Scotsman told me it was hite, so I’m not too excited about the DVD. Lee Marvin heads-up The Killers Double-Disc Special Edition which might be total junk, but hey, it’s LEE FUCKING MARVIN. Cinema fans should be over the moon because the definitive release of Metropolis, the Metropolis Restored Authorised Edition is out this week. A film historian commentary track with subtitles, a 43-minute documentary, 5.1 mix, a restoration featurette, photo gallery, and the other usual stuff. This version of the film contains intertitles to indicate how lost scenes would have fit into the film, the original 1927 score, and runs over a third longer than any previous release of the film. GOOD SHIT.
The Color Purple is another of those flicks that I haven’t seen that I probably should have, and there’s no better time than now with the two-disc Special Edition out this week. Remastered with a digital anamorphic transfer, and containing four new documentaries, it’s probably worth a closer look. Nick Broomfield’s AWESOME documentary Biggie & Tupac hits DVD, and if you’re at all interested in either guy, the east coast-west coast feud, or the inner working of Death Row, you really should pick this up. Broomfield talks to EVERYONE involved, particularly the two cops that the case revolved around, and the evidence that would shed a lot of light on a lot of shit. More good shit.
On a lighter note, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2003 DVDs are out for those who might want them. And I know nothing about Dune other than the fact that I sucked at the video games, but one of the million or so Dune movies/miniseries gets DVD’d again this week: Frank Herbert's Dune Director's Cut Special Edition. You can find the specs elsewhere on the net, so suffice it to say there’s a commentary, widescreen transfer, 30+ minutes of footage, about a half-dozen featurettes and stacks more.
Daddy of the Week Digital Versatile Dick:
Oh man, there’s a whole bunch of shit out this week. I Eat Your Skin, Meteor Man, Satan Was A Lady… there’s even two Bela Lugosi films in Death By Television and Scared To Death. But the absolute Daddy? Assignment: Outer Space. Kinda uninspiring, huh? Well, it’s the film’s star that did it for me: Rik Van Nutter. Pure crap, baby.
GAME… CUBE… 2
I know, I know, nobody really cares about Cube. But I HAVE to mention it because it stars Maurice Dean Wint, who is one of the stars of the HORRIBLE RoboCop: The Prime Directives that I must get around to reviewing one day. Seriously, it was just SOOOO bad on SOOOOOOOO many levels. It offended me as a RoboCop fan, as a movie fan, and as a DVD fan, since I picked up the four-disc set with the promise of deleted scenes and a commentary, but it was totally barebones and pathetic. But there’s just so much Plan 9-esque stuff to enjoy about it… man, I’ll try and review it soon, but y’know, it’s me.
Anyway, Cube 2: Hypercube is due for an April 21st release in Region 2. But here’s the catch: until October, it’s a Virgin exclusive. Mad crazy. The disc looks pretty decent director’s commentary, deleted scenes, making-of, and a trailer. I know the disc isn’t out in R1 yet, so if you want it, better hit up Virgin's UK website.
Thanks to the DVD Times.
HONG KONG? PHOOEY
Medusa, the parent company of powerhouse DVD label Hong Kong Legends (HKL) held a launch party a few days ago for their new Premier Asia label. The new brand will continue in HKL’s fine tradition of stellar fully-restored DVD releases with shedloads of supplemental material, but will focus on films from Korea, Japan, and Thailand (whereas HKL handles Chinese/Hong Kong cinema).
The initial three titles under the new label Bichunmoo, Bang-Bang and Ichi The Killer are all confirmed two-discers, with DTS and “extensive bonus features” being mentioned liberally. The launch title Bichunmoo will street on March 24th, and is certainly a worthy successor to HKL’s efforts with an anamorphic transfer, 5.1 and DTS tracks, Bey Logan commentary and isolated score, trailer archive, interview gallery, production featurette, photo galleries, outtakes and behind the scenes footage.
Dave Foster at the DVD Times did a fabulous write-up on the launch party and label, and you really should go check it out.
BRUCE LEE LIVES!
This could’ve gone under the previous heading, but it’s Bruce, so he deserves his own juice.
During his meeting with HKL/Premier Asia reps, Dave Foster of the DVD Times confirmed that the two-disc Way of The Dragon (or Return of The Dragon, as it’s called in the US) Platinum Edition is still in the pipeline. HKL are still gathering materials for the release, and although very little was actually confirmed, it was implied that July the 30th anniversary of Bruce’s passing would be an appropriate time.
I’ve said it before, the standard WoTD disc is pretty loaded as it is, and I really don’t know what else they can add to it unless they’ve actually found some of the long-lost scenes. That said, none of HKL’s Platinum Editions have been disappointing in the least, so I’m still amped to fuck about this one.
BUFFY SEASON 6
Sorry, but after the million or so Buffy headlines, I just can’t come up with anything new.
The BBFC have approved the following supplemental features for the upcoming Region 2 Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Complete Season 6 boxset, due on 14th April. As ever, expect the R1 specs to be virtually identical.
- Featurette: Buffy Goes To Work - 4:59
- Featurette: A&E TVography - 43:02
- Featurette: Season 6 Overview: Life is the Big Bad - 30:19
- Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Panel Discussion - 59:26
- Commentary: 6x01/6x02 "Bargaining"
- Commentary: 6x07 "Once More, With Feeling"
- Commentary: 6x09 "Wrecked"
- Commentary: 6x16 "Hell's Bells"
- Commentary: 6x17 "Normal Again"
- Commentary: 6x22 "Grave"
- Karaoke Sing-Alongs - 10:16
- Outtakes Reel - 2:29
- Outtakes Reel - 2:38
The best-looking set of extras for the show’s weakest season. Figures. The usual trailers and scripts should also feature on the set, and there are also some features that may not have been approved yet, so keep an open mind, Quaid.
Of import to fanboys is the running time for the ‘Once More With Feeling’ commentary is listed as 48:29 the extended original version of the episode. That said (and not being a Buffy fan, I’ve no idea what this means or why), The episode will also be released as a standalone DVD on April 14th or May 12th (depending on who you listen to) to compliment other related merchandise such as the soundtrack and scriptbook. Far out.
Thanks to the DVD Times, where you should also head to the comments section of this story for the latest on the release.
GROW UP, 007
MGM held their press event at the Dorchester Hotel in London to announce the Die Another Day Special Edition. In a first for Bond DVDs, it’ll be a two-discer loaded with good stuff, and it will feature some Region 2-exclusive content. DAMN STRAIGHT! BOND IS BRITISH! RULE BRITTANIA MOTHER FUCKERS!
On the first disc is the film in Full and Widescreen versions, 5.1 EX and DTS ES audio tracks, TWO commentaries (one with the director and producer, and one with Pierce Brosnan and Rosamund Pike) and an “On-screen Trivia Track with seamless integration to 19 behind-the-scenes featurettes”. The trivia track is said to be particularly cool and not like the subtitles text commentaries that you usually see.
The second disc kicks off with a ‘From Script To Screen’ documentary which runs 53 minutes and is exclusive to Region 2, ‘Shaken Not Stirred On Ice’ and ‘Inside Die Another Day’ running 23 and 77 minutes respectively, a bunch of “Mission Briefings”, ‘Scene Evolutions’ (storyboard to final shot comparisons), “Inter-Action Sequences” (multi-angle gimmicks), ‘Digital Grading’ (before and after digitally altered footage), a look at the opening titles, ‘Equipment Briefing’ (featurettes on the gadgets), stills galleries with over 250 pictures, and ‘Ministry of Propaganda’ (teasers, trailers, spots, Madonna video, making of Madonna video, 007 Nightfire trailer, making of 007: Nightfire, James Bond Special Edition DVD trailer). There’s also an “Easter Egg” listed as a bonus feature.
That’s pretty fucking sweet right there. Look out for it on May 2nd.
Thanks an awful lot to the DVD Times... again.
DR. JONES TO SURGERY
Well, the Indiana Jones box art that a Dutch website leaked to the net has certainly created a storm both outside and within the walls of Paramount HQ.
According to Paramount, they’ve never seen those images before in their entire lives. Ever.
They didn’t refute that the DVDs are scheduled to drop towards the end of this year, which would be stupid because everyone knows they’re on the way (including Steven Spielberg, who’s said as much in a bunch of interviews). But bear in mind that the last time someone from the extended George Lucas camp said that DVD-related material leaked to the internet (coughSTARWARSEPISODE2splutter) wasn’t real, the same damn thing was used on the final product.
Thanks to IGN.
KING OF THE RINGPIECE
I’ll make this quick, because a) I’m late with this, b) I’m tired, and c) I don’t fucking like this show.
So, June 24th sees the release of King of the Hill season one with the following features, cut and pasted for YOUR pleasure:
- Commentary on Pilot, The Order of the Straight Arrow
- Becoming King of the Hill Featurette
- Easter egg: Mowing Lesson with Charlie
- Deleted scenes: Pilot (2 scenes), Square Peg (4 scenes), The Order of the Straight Arrow (5 scenes), Luanne's Saga (3 scenes), Hank's Got the Willies (3 Scenes)
- Commentary: Hank's Unmentionable Problem, Westie Side Story, Shins of the Father
- Dale's Conspiracies: Global Warming, Sex Ed, Bob Dole, Stealth Helicopters, Things Just Disapear, Smoking, Stonehenge
- Meet the Hills: video, and stills: Hank, Peggy, Bobby, Luanne, Dale, Boomhauer, Bill, Cotton
- Main Title w/alternate music themes (TBD)
- The Do's and Don'ts of KOTH
- Deleted scenes: Westie Side Story (6 scenes), Hank's Unmentionable Problem (5 scenes), Shins of the Father (2 scenes), Keeping Up With Our Joneses (10 scenes)
- Commentary: Plastic White Female, King of the Ant Hill, The Company Man
- 12 Season 1 Promos, 1 network promo
- Barenaked Ladies music video
- Thank You from Production
- Deleted Scenes: Peggy the Boggle champ (11 scenes), Plastic White Female (4 scenes), The Company Man (4 scenes and alternate ending), King of the ant Hill (5 scenes)
Rock on. Fuck Mike Judge: watch The Simpsons.
Thanks to IGN.
BLU-RAY ALL THE WAY
Word from The Digital Bits is that Sony is officially storming ahead with its Blu-Ray technology, which will go heads-up against HD-DVD. Hitachi, LG, Matsushita (Panasonic), Pioneer, Royal Philips, Samsung, Sharp, Sony and Thomson have officially begun licensing the format, so it’s all happening, folks.
Fucking great, another format war. Just what we need. EAT A FUCKING DICK, SONY. Just because everything doesn’t go your own way… aw fuck, what’s the point. Every one of you who owns a PlayStation, it’s all YOUR fault. Well, except for me.
The Bits point out that the official HD-DVD specs are expected to be finalized and announced in March. Man, by the time this is all done, I’m gonna have about three different next-gen DVD players, three next-gen audio players, and whatever the hell new consoles comes out, all sat under my shiny new plasma screen. But what’s the point in having plasma hung nicely on the wall, freeing-up the space traditionally taken up by box-TVs, when that same space is now being taken up by a hoard of electrical equipment? Holy crap.
Well, that about does it.
Time for me to go sleep, then look at some more porn. Until next week, remember:
THIS… IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD~!