WWF's Raw Hits

[Guest TSMAdmin]

WWF’s Raw Hits

 

DVD OF THE WEEK

 

Mothman Prophecies has to be one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. I HATED it. There was not one redeeming factor in the entire movie. Since the movie really sucks, I’m going to throw in some SPOILERS here. First of all, I’m not a Richard Gere fan, but I saw Debra Messing’s name on the box as a main character. I am a Messing fan, so I decided to rent it. Little did I know this “main character” would die 10 minutes into the movie and make 2 “blink and you’ll miss her” cameos afterwards. Now this movie is supposed to be based on true events. I still can’t figure out what the hell happened. Supposedly this mothman entity is a hallucination of sorts, BUT it was still able to physically fly into Messing and Gere’s car. No explanation is ever given as to how a figment of the imagination could collide with a car in real life. Now this mothman predicts horrible events that then come true. Why he does this is beyond me. According to the mothman professor guy, the mothman tries to lead the people who see it (Gere) to their death. Gere can’t walk away though and continues to learn about the mothman. Somewhere in here Gere imagines himself smashing his own head into the bathroom mirror. Once again, I’m lost. This movie drags on until a bridge with a lot of cars on it collapses. Gere saves his new girlfriend and that’s the end of it. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!! There was not one scary moment in the entire thing. Utter bullshit. 2/10 The DVD has the trailer and a music video. The music video is almost worse than the movie, which would have been pretty hard to accomplish. Not to mention that the sound in the movie itself was horribly mixed. The music was LOUD and the dialogue was very hard to hear. Seriously, buying WWF Rock Bottom on DVD would be a better investment than this garbage. 2/10

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK

 

SummerSlam- I already covered this in the SummerSlam Crossface.

 

Raw- Speaking of crap, this show sure comes to mind. The WWE did a good job building up Brock Lesnar, so of course they would fuck up his push the day after he wins the strap. Having a 40-year old wrestler bitchslap and takeout your 25-year old champion is bad business. Not to mention the fact that HHH and the Undertaker completely ignored Brock once he was knocked to the floor. Brock of course doesn’t get any retribution until two hours later. I am a Jimmy Snuka fan, although he was not needed on Raw. They could have put that segment on HeAt. It’s not like anyone watching that show would care that a legends segment would interrupt the usual crappy wrestling. Now on to the flag burning, the worst part of that entire segment was JR screaming like a schoolgirl on the mic. Seriously JR, if this bothers you SO FUCKING MUCH, why don’t you get in the ring and do something about it? At first, I thought Kane’s debut was great, but then he spoke…and danced. Rikishi, the Big Show, the Oddities, etc. have all done the “Big Guy Just Wants to Have Fun” gimmick to death. I really don’t think Kane will get over by making an ass out of himself. Edge tried the same thing when he was Hogan’s lackey and he didn’t get anything out of it. Combining the Hardcore and Intercontinental Titles means nothing in the long run. Both titles are meaningless. What was the last successful storyline based around the Intercontinental Title? There probably hasn’t been one since 2000. Lastly, Brock Lesnar jumping to SmackDown!. I’m for the idea, even if only because SmackDown! doesn’t have any other heavyweight titles to fight over.

 

SmackDown!- For the next two weeks SmackDown! will be pre-empted in New York because of preseason football. Does anyone actually watch pre-season football anyway?

 

My Confidential reviews will now be up on THREE sites. The latest being Wrestling Nation. I never thought people would actually ASK me to write for their sites. Usually I was the one that had to do the asking.

 

Speaking of Confidential…I have a little addendum to last week’s review. At the time I didn’t know what the previous week’s rating was. Since then, I have been notified that it was a 0.8. Now you can all sleep well at night.

 

TAPE OF THE WEEK

 

This tape was essentially the Best of Monday Night Raw for 1995. It’s predecessor, Monday Night Raw: Primecuts, is one of the best Coliseum Videos ever made. Maybe I’ll review that one some time soon.

 

We kick it off old school with that awesome Monday Night Raw theme from 1995. I love that one. 1/1

 

Stan Lane is your host. Sadly, he is probably the best Coliseum Video host there ever was.

 

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid ~ July 11, 1994 (Bushkill, Pennsylvania)

Jim Ross (in his prime) and Stan Lane commentate this encounter. Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart taunt Bret before the match. This infuriates JR for some reason. A bunch of officials take Owen and the Anvil to the back. The Kid gets an armdrag right off the bat. Bret rolls his eyes. I’m not exactly sure why, but throughout this match Bret wrestlers completely like as a heel. Maybe no one was used to face vs. face matches back in 1994, so by default one guy had to play the role of the heel. They tease the test of strength. Some arm holds result. Hart with a quick slam and the Kid kips up. The Kid goes back to the arm, which makes little sense since he is a high-flyer. Hart counters with a snapmare, but the Kid relentlessly holds on to that hammerlock. Hart escapes and applies a reverse chinlock. The Kid fights out. He connects with the enziguri and some kicks in the corner.

 

[CLIP]

 

The Kid is back on the arm. Hart gets a kneelift and stomps the mid-section. JR almost calls him Sean Waltman, but covers by saying he meant Shawn Michaels. Hart with a legdrop and some nice uppercuts in the corner. Bret always had good uppercuts. Stu taught him well. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2. Bret goes back to the reverse chinlock. Bret is really dogging it in this one. Bret kicks in the corner and whips the Kid hard to the other end. The Kid comesback with a crossbody for 2. Bret retaliates with a headbutt. The Kid goes for a sunset flip, but Bret sits down on him for 2.

 

[CLIP]

 

You guessed it…Bret is back with the chinlock. The Kid elbows out and a backslide gets 2. Hart drops a leg for a long 2. DDT gets 2. Bret flies off the top into the Kid’s boot. The Kid takes advantage with lots of kicks. A crossbody off the top gets 2. The Kid even pulls out a powerbomb. Legdrop off the top for 2. Bret gets clotheslined to the floor. The Kid comes off the top with a somersault and practically misses his target. Back in, the Kid comes off the top with a senton, Bret moves. Bret goes for the sharpshooter, but the Kid is already in the ropes. The Kid reverses a superplex with one of his own for 2. The Kid misses the blind charge. Bret takes this opportunity to a hit a bulldog. The Kid slams Bret off the top rope. The Kid flies off the top right into a Sharpshooter ala Survivor Series 1992. (15:29) **3/4 I remember this match being SO MUCH better. That’s what happens when you make the transition from mark to smark or maybe the clipping was just bad.

 

Shawn Michaels w/Psycho Sid vs. British Bulldog ~ March 6, 1995

This is supposed to be a grudge match stemming from the Royal Rumble. McMahon is adamant that Davey Boy should have won the Rumble, so Cornette keeps asking him why. Vince, of course, has no real argument. I really like the Vince and Cornette team. Smith starts with some shoulderblocks and an inverted atomic drop. Shawn Flair Flips to the floor. Smith knocks him off the apron a few times, so Shawn pulls the Bulldog half out and smashes his knee on the apron. Cornette is ranting about how he should receive health insurance for having to announce on Raw. Back in, the Bulldog gets some armdrags and hits a STIFF clothesline, knocking Shawn to the floor. Sid helps Shawn back in. The Bulldog is blown up already, so it’s time for the side-headlock. Shawn is down for a few nearfalls. He tries to whip Smith off, but the Bulldog is just too strong. Finally, Shawn gets out and applies the short-arm scissors. That move looks really cool, too bad no one uses it anymore. Now the Bulldog is down for some 2 counts. The Bulldog leans on Shawn for 2. Shawn keeps the hold on anyway.

 

[CLIP]

 

Shawn still has the short-arm scissors on. The Bulldog picks him up and falls backwards. Smith applies a surfboard. He has to break as his own shoulders were down for 2. The Bulldog puts on the chinlock. Shawn flips him off and runs into a backbody drop, right into the arms of Sid. Cornette is screaming at this point because of how awesome Sid is. Shawn slingshots back in for 2. Smith comesback with a hanging vertical suplex for a long 2. Shawn grabs a handful of tights and pulls Davey Boy to the floor. The Bulldog holds his knee as Sid stalks around the ring. Shawn kicks the Bulldog’s head from the apron a few times. In the ring, Shawn works in the corner. A flying back elbow gets 2. This time it’s Shawn who applies the chinlock. The Bulldog elbows out. Shawn stops him with a high knee. An elbowdrop from the 2nd rope gets 2. Once again Shawn applies the chinlock and once again the Bulldog elbows out. Shawn goes to the sleeper. Finally, the Bulldog counters with a belly-to-back.

 

[CLIP]

 

Smith has Shawn up in the military press and crotches him on the top rope. Shawn takes the Flair Flip. The Bulldog gets 2 off a headbutt. Shawn ducks a charging Bulldog, causing him to end up on the floor. Sid knees Smith into the ringpost. The Bulldog makes it back into the ring, where he is small packaged for 2. Shawn puts him away with the Sweet Chin Music. (15:43) **3/4 Just like the last match, there was a lot of resting here. The match was clipped though, so maybe that’s where some of the good parts went. What I don’t understand is why restholds are left intact and actual action is taken off these Coliseum Video matches.

 

Cage Match: Lex Luger vs. Tatanka w/Ted DiBiase ~ March 26, 1995

This match is not from Monday Night Raw. It originally aired on whatever Sunday afternoon TV show the WWF was running at that time (SuperStars? Wrestling Challenge? Mania?). Luger and Tatanka had a rather long feud that never really went anywhere. The whole premise for it was that Tatanka turned on Luger to join the Million Dollar Corporation. JR and McMahon do the talking for this one. The combatants can either win by escape or pinfall. Tatanka jumps Luger with A LOT of chops, both tomahawk and reverse knife-edge variation. This goes on for a while, until Luger hits three clotheslines. Luger beats on him in the corner. Tatanka goes to the cage twice for a nearfall. Luger misses a big elbowdrop. Tatanka crawls to the door, so the crowd starts the USA chant. McMahon, “THEY ARE CHANTING USA TO ENCOURAGE LUGER TO STOP THAT NATIVE AMERICAN TATANKA!” That was the highlight of the match. Luger pulls Tatanka back to the middle of the ring.

 

[CLIP]

 

Tatanka chops, Luger no-sells. Luger with a bulldog and a suplex for 2. A powerslam gets 2 ½. Tatanka comeback with an inverted atomic drop. Tatanka starts climbing the cage, so Luger slams him from the top rope to the canvas. Loaded forearm off the top is enough for the 3. (6:22) ¼* Ugh.

 

WWF Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze ~ April 3, 1995

I wonder why spellcheck thinks that “Alundra” is supposed to be “Leonard”. My favorite commentary duo from earlier on is back. Nakano controls with some brawling. She goes up top and Blayze ranas here back to the mat, like Trish Stratus. Nakano connects with two great hairpull takedowns. Legdrop gets 2. Nakano applies a variation of the half-crab. All I know is that it looks cool. Alundra reaches the ropes. Nakano comes off the top with a bulldog of sorts. Blayze scores with not one, not two, but three running hairpull takedowns. She follows that up with two dropkicks from the top for 2.

 

[CLIP]

 

A replay is shown. Of course the sequence shown in the replay looked sweet, so it was clipped. Nakano with the waistlock. Blayze rolls her up for 2. Blayze gets 2 off a german. Another one still gets 2. Nakano knocks Alundra from the top to the floor. Nakano misses a suicide dive through the middle and top ropes. Blayze hits a german on the floor. Nakano pretty much no-sells it and whips Blayze to the stairs. Back in, Nakano comes off the top with a picture-perfect moonsault, but Alundra moves. Another german suplex gives Blayze the Women’s Title. (4:37) **1/4 Pretty good for a 4 minute ladies match.

 

Bret Hart, Bob Holly & 1-2-3 Kid vs. Yokozuna, Hakushi & Owen Hart w/Mr. Fuji, Jim Cornette & Shinja ~ April 10, 1995

Lawler is with McMahon for this one since Cornette is fulfilling his managerial duties. Yokozuna and Bret Hart start. Yoko hits a slam and misses an elbowdrop. Bret wrenches his arm and tags Holly, who takes over where Bret left off. Hakushi tags in and connects with a dropkick.

 

[CLIP]

 

That happened quite abruptly. The Kid and Owen are in the now. Kid gets 2 off a crossbody from the 2nd rope. Owen stops the Kid from tagging out and makes a tag of his own to Yokozuna. Yoko gets a legdrop. Meanwhile, Owen waves the Japanese flag at ringside. McMahon, “HE’S NOT JAPANESE, HE’S CANADIAN!” Lawler, “Well, he wishes he was.” Hakushi is back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The Kid comesback with a sit-down powerbomb. Bret and Yoko both tag in. Bret clotheslines him to the mat and comes off the top with a bulldog. The elbow from the 2nd rope gets 2. Hart slingshots Hakushi into the ring and fights all three heels. Yokozuna strikes Bret from behind and tags Owen. Owen catches him with the enziguri and a kneedrop. Bob Holly gets the blind tag and school boys Owen for the win. (5:12) *1/2 Good for what it was, a very short six-man tag.

 

Todd Pettingill is back with Strategy Tips for Demolition Man and Dragon. That’s just splendid. 1/2

 

THIS IS IT

 

I remembered this tape being much better, although it’s not really bad, it’s just mediocre. I don’t really think anyone should run out and buy this one. Instead, hunt down a complete version of Bret Hart-1-2-3 Kid and spend your money on that.

 

Confidential is a rerun this Saturday because of the holiday weekend. Judging by the preview on WWE.com, it will be the June 8, 2002 episode. As for my next tape review, I’ll be back in school by then, so I have no clue what I’ll be pumping out. I’m really leaning towards the SMW Heel BBQ from 1995 though.

 

Retro Rob