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Dr. Tom's Smackdown! Report: 3/20/03, March 20, 2003
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post Mar 29 2003, 06:39 PM
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WWE SMACKDOWN! 3/20/03

You know who owns 20% of UPN, right?

Yes, that’s correct: Fox. So, instead of the weekly wrestling show – at least in my area – we got a simulcast of Fox News’ continuing coverage of Operation Iraqi Freedom. I was glued to my TV until about 2:00 this morning watching just this kind of stuff, so it’s needless to say that I find it fascinating. I’ll spare you, my fine readers, the war coverage, though – I’m sure you’re getting it just about everywhere you turn, and I don’t want to pile on.

So, I’ll provide the results I can glean from various on-site and spoiler reports, from the usual places. For the second time in two weeks, this will be a boon to those of you who prefer straight results to the excellent mix of results and opinions I normally provide.

Before we get underway, though, I have a couple of things to announce about the near future of this report. No, I’m not giving it up, so uncross your fingers and stop knocking on your desktops. They’re probably not real wood, anyway.

First, on April 3 and May 1, I will not be providing a Smackdown report. I’ll be out of town for work Thursday into Friday both of those weeks. If you’re reading this on TSM, then you’ll notice JHawk and I switching shows that week. Yes, that means I actually have to watch Raw AND pay attention to it enough to write about it, which can probably be considered cruel and unusual punishments in more "progressive" courtrooms. Those of you who read this on LOP and other websites will find someone standing in for me on those weeks.

Second, I’m going to be taking some night classes for the next year and a half or so, and the first class falls on a Thursday. Lucky me. It starts next week, March 27, and runs for about six weeks. The class lets out about 10:00, which means I’ll be watching Smackdown on tape when I get home, then doing the report. I normally try to have this posted around 11:00 or so, but on those nights I have school, it’ll probably be more like 1:00 AM. Depending on how long my day has been and how worn out I am, I might be skimpier on the words than normal, but we’ll play that part by ear. I’m going to try and get moved to a different night when the next class starts, but for the next month and a half or so, I’m stuck with Thursdays. So if you’re wondering why the report is later than usual (on the weeks when I’m not out of town overnight, that is – which necessitates some very late traveling after class, I might add), there you go.

Now, with that admittedly lengthy preamble out of the way, let’s dive into the results.

Rhyno d. Charlie Haas by DQ when a tag title belt became involved in the melee.

Stephanie McMahon gave Bryan Kendrick a chance to join the Smackdown roster (as opposed to whatever it is he’s been doing on the show the last few weeks, I suppose), if he’s able to beat Shannon Moore tonight.

Ice Ice Cena wants an open rap challenge at Mania, and lays the verbal beatdown on Brock Lesnar again.

Los Guerreros CHEAT TO WIN~! on a typically whitebread golf course.

Rikishi and Los Guerreros d. The FBI, as Eddy won with the Frog Splash.

Rey Mysterio d. Jamie Noble by pinfall in what sounded like a good five-minute cruiserweight match.

Brock Lesnar was attacked during a promo that also involved Kurt and Eric Angle. He was assaulted with one of Eric’s crutches and given an Olympic Slam onto a steel chair.

Undertaker d. Bill DeMott in a squash via the TOMBSTONE~!

Brock has “broken ribs,” which allows him to rein himself in during the big match with Angle.

Bryan Kendrick d. Shannon Moore in about five minutes with Sliced Bread #2.

Chris Benoit d. Shelton Benjamin by submission in a pretty short match.

Several people talked throughout the course of the night about WrestleMania and the Hogan/Vince confrontation, including Bob Costas, Jesse Ventura, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. The contract signing was this week, which, in a totally shocking an unexpected twist, featured a surprise attack by the heel on the face. I’m sure my surprise equals yours at that one. Costas compared it to an old-timer’s game in baseball, proving once again why he’s the man.

Overall, it looked like a pretty good episode, and – as much as I find war coverage riveting – I would have liked to have seen it. Remember: Late reports for the next six weeks or so, and I’ll be away on April 3 and May 1. Have a good one.

Dr. Tom
Shout, shout, let it all out.
(Remove the spam-sniffing X from each field before hollering)
Catch up on what you missed at the TSM Archive!
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