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MonDVDay News Update

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In the player: Predator

 

On the box: Lad’s Army

 

 

 

Hey, look who’s back.

 

 

 

And in my neverending quest to reach Scott Keith-esque levels of greatness, I’m ripping off his mailbag “Jukebox” gimmick. Why? BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN.

 

 

 

Apologies for my absence last week. I was completely swamped with freelance, coupled with a three hour train ride each day, so unfortunately I had to make the ultimate sacrifice and abandon my smart brothers. On the bright side, I played fuckloads of new games and betas and got to hang out with some really cool guys. Oh yeah, and did a little bit of work, too. God bless the world of videogame journalism.

 

 

 

It was a crazy week, though. I’m not supposed to talk about the wrestling stuff in DVD updates (that’s what my prowrestlingcolumns.com wrestling column’s for), but it’s utterly tragic to see how the Steve Williams saga seems to have turned. I’m not sure he’s ever going to be welcome again by the wrestling community (I believe even Vince McMahon has limits), but I don’t think hat’s the important issue I just hope both he and his wife are able to deal with whatever issues they might have, and just make the best of things.

 

 

 

Anyway, onto brighter things. I’ve spent all day eating no-carb chocolate and playing Tony Hawk’s (what can I say, I’ve only just played it, and it fucking rules), and the rest of the week looks like it’s gonna be pretty much the same. I’ve totally run out of money until July, but there’s still shitloads to buy this month (WaveBird, DVDs, Bomberman, Battle Houshin), so I think I’ll have to flog some jewellery. Oh well.

 

 

 

Let’s get the hell on with it so I can GO INSTALL EWR~!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT’S HOT THIS WEEK

 

 

 

Kind of a crummy week for DVD. One or two discs worth looking at, but nothing much in the way of new releases, so you’re better off keeping the cash in your pocket until next month.

 

 

 

I heard rumours during my week off that Predator: SE would see an R1 release this week, but obviously nothing’s come of that (and to be honest, nothing probably will for the time being). Still, if you’re interested in importing, the review’s here (thumbs up, cheap pop).

 

 

 

Vincent Pereira’s A Better Place arguably the best all-round movie period and easily the best non-Smith film to come out of the View Askew library gets re-released this week. It’s definitely worth the pickup, whether you’re a Smith fan or not. In addition to the great film, there’s a bunch of extras on the disc too. Only problem is, a lot of people have had problems running it on certain players. I’d guess heading over to viewaskew.com would be the best place to find out about that sort of thing.

 

 

 

I Am Sam starring Sean Penn and Michelle Pfei… Pfie… Pfeifeifer… Rowdy Roddy Piper is out on a pretty loaded disc with commentary, documentary, deletd scenes and the like. I hate Sean Penn, and Michelle looks hotter in other films, so I can’t say I’ve got too much interest in this. Another mother fucker I absolutely can’t stand is that (Mike) Hunt Jim Carrey. I don’t know why, but he REEEEALLY bugs me. It’s not just the Batman thing either I hated the prick back in his Ace Ventura days, and even before then when he was doing the comedy circuit. Still, he’s rich, famous, he’s screwed Holly whatsherface and doesn’t give a shit what I think, so whatever. Where the hell was I? Oh yes, The Majestic is out. Extra scenes, anamorphic, zzzz… wake me when he ODs.

 

 

 

Then there’s Rollerball… oh dear. I just don’t get this remaking/re-imagining bullshit that’s taking Hollywood by storm these days. Didn’t it start with Stallone’s remake of Get Carter just a few years ago? I know they’ve been remaking stuff forever, but I mean didn’t this latest incarnation of the craze start with that? Christ, you’d have thought they’d have learned. There really is no reason to watch this flick, whatever you think you might like about it: Rebecca Romjin-Stamos doesn’t get her fanny out, LL Cool J doesn’t get to do enough, and Paul Heyman’s cameo isn’t that great, and the film is like watching Australian Rules football on acid (and not in a good way). If you feel tempted by ANY of this: Stamos is probably naked on the internet somewhere, LL Cool J has lots of platinum albums for you to listen to, Paul Heyman is… well, RAW isn’t actually any better than Rollerball at the moment, but it’ll turn around at some stage, and the first Rollerball was a far superior film. There you go absolutely no reason to buy this pile of asscrap now.

 

 

 

Orange County’s one of those weird flicks that everyone either loved or hated, because it’s an MTV flick (hence, people calling it “too MTV”, the fucking genii). I’d love to have an opinion on the matter, but since it stars Colin Hanks whose father ranks somewhere not far below Jim Carrey on my favourite-people-ometer it’s probably best that I don’t. It’s got a commentary and deleted scenes, though, so if you like it, go get it and stuff.

 

 

 

Fans of suicidal Australian outbackers will be happy to know that Steve “Crocodile Hunter” Irwin provides one of the few bright spots in this week’s DVD lineup, with The Crocodile Hunter and Crocodile Hunter’s Croc Files (Volume 1). TCH looks to be more a look at the man himself, while Croc Files is a look at his adventures. The second disc also looks to have a fair few extras, but fans should probably snap (get it, SNAP!) both discs up. “Cor blimey, I’ve just been bitten by a poisonous snake! His venom is so powerful, it can kill over a hundred elephants just with its smell, and he’s pumped it right into my veins! Crikey mate, I’m gonna die!” Awesome.

 

 

 

There’s some blast-from-the-past goodness, if you’re so desperate to buy a DVD this week that you’ll pick up some nostalgia film from the eighties that won’t be nearly as good as you remembered. I remember very little about Earth Girls Are Easy except that everybody used to talk about it at school. And it’s got Geena Davis, who I find a little rank, but if she’s your cup of tea then more power to you. Maid To Order is one of those films that I’ve never seen and everybody always tells me “You really should see it, you know.” My pick, though, would have to be Mo Money a film that nobody else I know seems to have seen and I always tell them “You really should see it, you know.” Anyone who thinks dogshit like Scary Movie is funny should see what a Wayans (whichever the hell one it is) could do back when they were still funny. “He needs lactate!” Fucking ace.

 

 

 

Speaking of re-releases, I can’t resist taking a cheapshot at everyone’s favourite “What the hell happened?” actor, Robert Downey Jr. Starring alongside Mel Gibson, why not check out the DVD of Air America: Because nobody gets as high as Robert Downey Jr.

 

 

 

Couple of chock-sockey flicks out there, but only two worth checking out. Jet Li’s Black Mask is overrated, barebones, but still pretty cool it’s nice seeing Jet kick some ass without all the watered-down Hollywood gloss. Jackie Chan’s Snake In The Eagle’s Shadow is out too, but seriously, if you’re a fan of this film, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS VERSION. Pick up the Hong Kong Legends version instead, which is anamorphic, VERY nicely remastered, and has some cool extras. It’s a Region 2 release, but it’s actually a Region 0 disc, so don’t be afraid to import it if you haven’t got a multi-region player (as always, give Play.com a try).

 

 

 

And finally, a film that’s actually worth checking out if you haven’t seen it, Oliver Stone’s Zebrahead, starring N’Bushe “Why Wasn’t She In Blade 2?” Wright and Michael “I’m A Good Actor But Nobody Gives A Fuck” Rapaport. It’s like Jungle Fever, only good.

 

 

 

Daddy of The Week: Think about all the cool vampire flicks out there. Blade, Interview With A Vampire, Dracula even Queen Of The Damned was at least dripping with style. In this day and age, you’d have thought making a decent vamp-flick would be pretty straightforward, non? Actually, non, as Andy Ruben’s dire, DIRE gothfest Club Vampire will attest. A simply atrocious piece of cinema in every possible sense, but it has got one upside: The dwarf out of Twin Peaks! Then again, you could just watch Twin Peaks instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHO WON THAT LAST GAME OF TIC-TAC-TOE?

 

 

What could be better than watching super-deformed puppets on strings flying around in aircraft and beating the shit out of each other? Crazy possessed robot cubes and spheres beating the shit out of each other, that’s what.

 

 

 

Yes, Gerry Anderson’s mighty Terrahawks are heading to Region 2 DVD, with the goal to release all 39 episodes as well as 15 never beforereleased on video. Volume One, due July 22nd, features four episodes from the first series, an original Terrahawks publicity brochure, a biography of the man Anderson, production notes and profiles, ‘Hawks chronology and an explanation of the “Ten Codes”. In addition, the “Noughts and Crosses Credits” will be included IN THEIR ENTIRETY~! Quality. Each four-episode set will retail for £15 ($21-ish).

 

 

 

The only possible downer (although some people have questioned the value of the discs) is that Revelation, the company behind the sets, haven’t got the greatest track record when it comes to transfers, so the likelihood is that the show won’t be remastered. What can you do, eh?

 

 

 

Thanks to the DVDTimes for their retro-expertise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I WISH I WAS A SPACEMAN, THE FASTEST GUY ALIVE…”

 

 

 

Oh wait, that’s Fireball XL5. Oh well, close enough.

 

 

 

According to the bearded mark-out merchants at Ain’t-It-Cool, DVD consumers have struck another victory for their beloved format. Remember when I was harping on that we’ve got to keep buying every DVD of TV product if we want to see our favourite shows on disc? Well, here’s proof that it works. Apparently, the Brothers Warner are very please with sales of their Babylon 5 DVD, and have commissioned complete season boxsets of the show. The first set, due this fall, should feature at least two episode commentaries, probably some sort of video introductions, and a crapload of other goodies.

 

 

 

There’s a lot of bullshit releases on DVD, but instances like this and the Angel widescreen madness prove that, moreso than ever, the voice of the consumer is not only being listened to, but acted upon especially if rumours of Warner bringing out season sets of South Park. Of course, the downside is that when the uneducated masses clamour for pan & scan, companies like Disney cave in like a stack of hollow horseshit, but that’s democracy for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LET’S ALL GO TO THE LOBBY

 

 

 

A whole bunch of recent flicks have been announced for the digital treatment, some of them ALARMINGLY recent. With huge titles like Spider-Man and Episode II pushing DVD releases further and further forward, this has got to be a good thing for film fans like us. Yay.

 

 

 

Changing Lanes is headed our way September 10th, with the anamorphic/5.1 double whammy, director’s commentary, making of and “Writer’s Perspective” featurettes, deleted scenes, extended scenes, alternate endings, and a trailer. Which sounds really loaded and fun, but come on Ben fucking Affleck is the star of the film and they haven’t got him on the commentary? That’s just a crime.

 

 

 

Dreadful Eddie Murphy and Robert De Niro “comedy” Showtime will be with us August 13th. What can you do? The film with be presented in both anamorphic (yay!) and pan & scam (boo!) versions, with director’s commentary, HBO fluff piece, five Eddie Murphy “Both Confessionals”, “The Premiere Party Sequence”, filmographies and trailers. Once again, they’ve got a guy like Eddie Murphy who could just sit at a microphone for ninety minutes reading a soup can and be entertaining, and this is only a director’s commentary? What the fuck is wrong with these people? Christ, put it in the fine print of the contract if they don’t want to do it.

 

 

 

Lastly, Birthday Girl Nicole Kidman is also headed for DVD on August 13th. It’s been said, but why that little fag Tom Cruise dumped Nickers is absolutely… oh wait, I already answered myself. Anamorphic, 5.1, behind-the-scenes featurette and music video. Um, that’s it? Oh well, I saw her ass in a WinMedia clip the other night, so I’m happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXTRA SPECIAL EDITION

 

 

 

Some nice two-discers on the way from Warner Brothers True Romance: SE, Singin’ In The Rain: SE, Unforgiven: 10th Anniversary Edition, and the first R1 release of James Dean’s Giant.

 

 

 

No specs, dates, or anything else, but if you head over to DVDTimes you can see the artwork.

 

 

 

Wow, that was a short headline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MAN OF STEEL

 

 

 

First Terrahawks, now this. The Brits are invading! Cult British sci-fantasy series Sapphire & Steel is scheduled for R2 release on August 12th. And if you haven’t seen it before, you really should check it out it’s very weird and very good.

 

 

 

The first release will be the first three assignments, comprising 20 episodes, in a three-disc digipack. Introductions, stills galleries, biographies, even articles from the TV Times crikey. Better yet, it’ll only cost £39.99 ($57) with sets like this and 24 going for less than 40 quid, hopefully those rat bastards at Fox and Paramount will finally drop the criminally high prices of their big money boxsets.

 

 

 

Thanks to the wait for it DVDTimes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LIFE IS A TRAFFIC JAM

 

 

 

If you picked up the Canadian, Atlantis-distributed release of TRAFFIC: Criterion Collection, you might have noticed the lack of actual Criterion cover, including no numbering on the spine. Which, to most people, doesn’t matter a fuck, but to prissies and collectors, that’s probably quite a big deal (actually, if you listen to some of the whinging in forums, it’s a VERY big deal).

 

 

 

Anyhow, Atlantis are offering replacement, Criterion Collection covers for everyone who purchased the disc without one, and will be rectifying the packaging for the rest of the distribution run. So, if you’ve got one of the odd-one-out covers, just send it (not the disc or case) with a return address to:

 

 

 

Rebecca Kollias

 

c/o Alliance Atlantis

 

121 Bloor St. East

 

Toronto, Ontario M4W 3M5

 

([email protected])

 

 

 

They’re only going to honour claims with Canadian mailing addresses, so if you imported… unlucky. Of course, you could always put it up for auction on eBay, as oddities like this inevitably seem to skyrocket in value. Go nuts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUFFY BONANZA!

 

 

 

Yikes, coming up with straps for 13 year-olds has started to take its toll on me.

 

 

 

Anyway, here’s the latest Region 2 Buffy and Angel release dates. And once again, before hundreds of morons start emailing me on the subject, BUFFY BOXSETS ARE OUT IN THE UK UP TO A YEAR BEFORE THE US, THAT’S WHY.

 

 

 

Ahem. Here are the dates:

 

 

 

Buffy Season 5 October 21

 

Angel Season 3 December 2

 

Buffy Season 6 May 2003

 

Buffy Season 7 October 2003

 

 

 

Check your multi-region capability, Play.com, blah blah blah.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DON’T GET THEM WET!

 

 

 

Ah, Warner are fast becoming my favourite distributor. Special Editions of both Gremlins and Gremlins 2 are on the way on August 20th, and look VERY tasty:

 

 

 

GREMLINS: SE

- Cast and director commentary

- 10 minutes of deleted footage

- Behind-the-scenes doc

- Theatrical trailers

- More to be confirmed

 

 

 

Gremlins 2 The New Batch: SE

 

 

 

- Director's commentary

 

 

- 20 minutes of dleted footage

 

- Theatrical trailers

 

- More to be confirmed

 

 

 

 

Hey, I’m excited. I’m halfway thinking that they could do a really cool sequel with some nice CG, but I know they’d fins some way to fuck it up, so I’d sooner they don’t bother. Which means they probably will. Bastards.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I’m done. You’ll have to forgive me totally losing any semblance of effort as the report went on, because I’ve completely had enough of sitting in front of a bloody computer screen. Bastard technology.

 

 

 

 

 

I might repost a review midweek, or I might just try and save all my creative energies to write a decent report next week. Or I might just eat more chocolate and burn some Steve Austin tapes.

 

 

 

 

 

"ANGEL LUST - YOU CAN BE DEAD, BUT YOU'RE NEVER REALLY DEAD."

 

 

 

Jay

 

 

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