The Midweek News

[Guest TSMAdmin]

THE MIDWEEK NEWS

 

The latest rasslin’ game for the PS2 made its debut last week, and yours truly snagged a copy over the weekend. WWE Smackdown!: Shut Your Mouth is the second WWE game for the PS2, and the fourth overall in the Smackdown line. It’s the best of the bunch so far. Season play, while only lasting two years, is an improvement over all previous versions of the game. The wrestling engine is the same, but seems quicker to respond and smoother to operate. Graphically, the game is very good, though collision detection remains an occasional issue. My only big gripe comes in a match I lost. I’m playing a season mode with Brock, and I won the Undisputed title. My second PPV defense was in a ladder match against Booker T. I’m controlling the match (and have enough on my meter to do a finisher) when he grabs a fluke spinebuster to put me down. Booker then proceeds to climb the ladder – which was NOT in the center of the ring – in literally half a second and grab the belt. By the time I got up the ladder, at a much slower pace, he’d already dropped to the mat with the belt. I don’t mind losing and dropping the strap, but COME ON. Anyway, I’ll chime in with a full review of the game sometime, probably over the coming weekend.

 

In the NFL, Steve Spurrier is making another quarterback change. I like Spurrier, but I’ve always despised the Foreskins, so I’m in a conundrum there. I’d like to see The Ball Coach do well, but if he does, then that godforsaken team does, too. He’s finding out for about the fifth time this season why every other team that had Shane Matthews was eager to get rid of him. Those who think the stronger-armed Patrick Ramsey is the answer, consider this: Spurrier has called over 360 passing plays this season, but only 250 running plays. This is despite having workhorse Stephen Davis in the backfield. It doesn’t matter who your QB is when your receivers are mediocre and everyone knows you’re throwing.

 

In a bit of good news, Tommy Maddox was released from the hospital and given a clean bill of health. He’s listed as Out for this weekend’s game against the Bungles. Doctors say Maddox made a very quick recovery, and that it’s up to him when he returns to the field. He’s expected to be out a couple weeks as a precaution.

 

Since we have a PPV and Raw to go over, I’ll truncate the non-rasslin’ talk this week, and dive right in.

 

Decent Wrestling + Shitty Booking = Survivor Series 2K2

 

For your detailed Survivor Series recapping needs, be sure to peep Dames’ Diatribe on the show. I’ll break out the snowflakes, since these are supposed to be important events.

 

Dudleyz v2.0 and Jeff Hardy vs. Your Three Minutes Are Up and Rico: It’s a table elimination match, for those who missed it the first time. I wasn’t expecting much, since I don’t really like anyone involved in this one, but it turned out to be enjoyable violence. Jeff kills himself for our entertainment again, and the highlight is D’Von running out to help Bubba pick up the win. Good opener to get the crowd involved. **1/2

 

Jamie Noble (with Nidia) vs. Billy Kidman: For the Cruiserweight title, of course. Kidman took a mucho sicko DDT, and despite his vanilla personality and lack of charisma, he went over someone who has both in spades. No SSP to the floor or anything like the old WCW Kidman, but this was a solid match. **1/2

 

Victoria vs. Trish: For the Chick Title, in the first match the girls have contested under we’re-not-doing-these-matches-anymore-Hardcore rules. Victoria’s pretty stiff, and Trish likes to take the bumps, so this pairing was good in the Hardcore arena. There were a few good hardcore spots, and I was digging this right up until Trish jobbed the title to a snap suplex? A snap suplex? Who loses to that? **

 

Disputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. That Fat Tub Of Shit: Let me just say that Brock is CRAZY strong. Even without a broken rib, lifting a 500-pound slob like Slow can’t be easy. But Brock hoisted him for a trio of suplexes – including an overhead belly-to-belly – without any help from Slow. The F5 was equally impressive. Heyman turned on Brock after the F5 and Slow picked up the win and the title, in a finish a lot of us should have seen coming but few did. I like this one solely for Brock’s feats of strength, which were insanely impressive. *1/2

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team God vs. Edge and Rey vs. La Familia Guerrero: After all the buildup and all the times these teams have squared off over the past month, this match should have been at least 35 minutes. The Guerreros were the safe bet coming in, since both Angle and Rey need to go under the scope soon. Tam God was the first to go, then Eddy ended the match by getting Rey to tap to the El Paso Lasso. With some more time, this could have earned the ****1/2 I predicted for it. Instead, we’ll all have to sit around and complain about a very good match being a disappointment and wallow in our own smarkiness. ***3/4

 

Elimination Chamber: HHHGH vs. The Holy Bible Kid vs. Four Jobbers Who All Lost Their Heat To HHH: Hey, it was obvious in the buildup that the other four guys didn’t matter. That’s why RVD was the first one eliminated, despite being the most over man in the match. And they wonder why the ratings are in the drink. Jericho actually picks up a couple of falls to the Lionsault, which I don’t think has pinned anyone since the Carter administration. Of course, HBK stops that, and the match comes down to the Only Two Guys Who Matter. After about 1000 Pedigree reversals, Shawn picks up the win and the strap with a superkick. It’s great to see a young, up-and-coming talent like Shawn Michaels get the belt. The match was pretty good, but the Chamber definitely needs some work: the lock was too easy to break, the “bulletproof” chambers broke way too easily, and it could probably stand to be a bit taller. I wouldn’t mind seeing them dust it out (with a few tweaks) every year for SurSer, since it fits the theme of the show. ***

 

Overall: Like I said in the title: the wrestling was pretty good, but the booking looked quite strange. I don’t see putting the belt on Victoria when Jazz is coming back in a month. Putt the belt on the Big Slow makes ZERO sense, even if Brock is hurt. No one wants to see him in the main event, which means no one wants to see him win the belt. And putting the belt on HBK is just slapping the fans in the face. For months, we’ve been calling for HHH to lose the belt. So instead of giving it to someone like Booker or RVD – people the fans actually give a shit about – they gave it to Michaels, who gets a lot of my-older-brother-used-to-like-this-guy pops. Why take the belt of HHH when you’re only giving it to his best friend and setting up an obvious scenario for Hunter, throat trauma and all-uh, to win it back? If I were to give the show a score, I’d call it right in the middle, since the strange booking made me scratch my head enough that I forgot about the above-average wrestling. 5/10

 

Raw: The Cliff Notes

 

Maybe JHawk’s not an alcoholic yet kids, but he did confess that vodka would have been a better Monday night beverage than coffee. Draw your own conclusions, as always. Oh, and JHawk has your detailed Raw report, as always. Maybe I’ll go out of town after Xmas just so the poor fellow can do Smackdown and get a good show to watch for once . . .

 

-- Two Fat Samoans and Rico vs. The Real Damn Dudleys and Spike: The crowd liked the 3D, but some Samoan (no, I can’t tell them apart, though I’d try to if it actually fucking mattered) heathen interrupted the return of “D’Von! GET THE TABLES!” Decent enough opener. 3/10

 

-- Storm/Regal vs. Dreamer/Jeff Hardy: The mix-and-match power of the Raw tag team “division” continues. Regal kicks Dreamer in the head for the win in about 1:45. Um . . . yeah. DUD. Note: fifty-five minutes, six minutes of wrestling.

 

-- Victoria vs. Stacy. This one lasted a whole 1:15. Yay. DUD #2

 

-- Chris Harvard vs. Al Snow: More not-hardcore rasslin’ action! Snow broke out his customary hardcore spots, like the 7-10 split, and his tendency to land on a lot of chairs. Fairly entertaining little brawl, and one that had the decency to last in excess of four whole minutes. 2/10

 

-- Booker vs. RVD vs. Jericho. This is for the right to job to Shawn Michaels next week. This one was a little slow to start, but turned into a pretty damn fine match by the end. Scott Steiner destroyed Jericho with a powerbomb, setting up RVD’s win via the Five-Star. 7/10, which is probably the highest rating I’ve given a Raw match in a month or more.

 

-- Other Developments: Not much happened, really. A lot of lame angles were advanced, including the silly “Testicles” crap. Ha ha, whoever wrote it probably got a lot of chuckles from the fourth-graders, but I think it’s time to give it a rest. Scott Steiner and Chris Jericho did some verbal sparring before Steiner interfered in the main event. It looks like he’ll be a face for now, and I’m taking three months in the injury pool. Val Venis came over from Smackdown, then decided he didn’t want to be called that anymore. I guess “Sean Morely” is going to make up for having his last name rhyme with “penis” all this time. Morely was apparently part of the Big Slow trade, which basically gave them a storyline reason to move some deadwood over from Smackdown. The trade now stands at D’Von, Ivory, and the erstwhile Venis for the Big Slow, which means Raw has clearly gotten the better end of the deal.

 

Overall, Raw was an improvement over the dreadful crap they were airing a few weeks ago. It’s still definitely a few notches below Smackdown, though, and there’s no relief for that disparity in sight.

 

It’s been a busy, busy week for me thus far (so busy, in fact, that I couldn’t even cheat and do some of this at work today), so I’m going to have to be on the brief side for the rest of this.

 

-- According to the Observer newsletter, Mike Sanders feels he was let go because Paul Heyman encouraged management to sack him. Sanders contends Heyman viewed him as a creative threat and lobbies for his release.

 

-- WWE reports that Brock Lesnar will take a week off of house shows to help his broken rib heal. The injury is expected to take 6-8 weeks to fully heal. Lesnar also has a torn posterior cruciate ligament in his left knee, which should not require surgery. Ok, I’ll give HHH props for getting thru the Elimination Chamber with his throat all messed up, but those of you who are sucking his dick over it should remember that Lesnar hoisted a 500 POUND MAN in the air several times, despite his injuries.

 

-- The folks at 1bob report that Goldberg is trying to get Hulk Hogan to be his partner for a tag match in Japan in January. Hogan’s WWE status is unchanged. It’s believed that WWE is still interested in Goldberg, but his asking price remains high.

 

-- Monday’s Raw rating was back up to 3.7, after falling to 3.1 the previous week. I’m sure this will be credited to Shawn Michaels, though it remains to be seen whether the increased number is because of his title win. Given his past drawing history, I’m going to guess No. Credit for the rating goes to Nielsen Media Research.

 

-- WWE has some interesting interviews posted with the principals from Survivor Series. I’m sure you know the URL.

 

-- In puzzling news, the Ultimate Warrior will make his return to the ring during a Ring of Honor show three days after Xmas. Considering that ROH is known for employing good workers and technical wrestlers, their interest in a lump like Warrior is strange.

 

-- According to TSN’s official site, No Way Out will be held in Montreal this year, onm February 23. It’s WWE’s first return to Montreal for a PPV event since the infamous Survivor Series show in 1997.

---

That’s going to do it for me this week. I’ll be back tomorrow with the Smackdown report, and Byron should give you news junkies your next fix over the weekend. Ave atque vale.

 

Dr. Tom

Holler if you hear me!

(Remove the leading X from each field to get your feedback hookup)