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GOldberg, September 22, 2003
Guest_TSMAdmin_*
post Oct 6 2003, 07:55 PM
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Like the nWo, the rumours were around for ages before he was actually signed. Then, in a video package at Wrestlemania XIX, Goldberg was unveiled in WWE.

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The next night, he interrupted the Rock, and warned Rocky that he was "next", instead of "first". But anyway, they wrestled a 20 minute match at Backlash, which featured more stalling than Brock Lesnar in an iron man match.

McMahon tried to get Goldberg over as a regular wrestler – cutting promos, performing beat-downs, and being attacked himself. It didn't work. The fans didn't react well to him, and he wasn't getting over fast enough.

Let's go back a step here. There's been bad blood between Goldberg and WWE for some time. As recently as last year, he said:

"I personally believe that everything I’ve stood for when I got into the ring would be compromised and succumbed to the circus-like atmosphere that’s out there, and that’s putting it mildly," Goldberg said. "I would be an imbecile if I gave up half my money to work for a company I didn’t respect."

The Desert Sun

Vince McMahon must have opened his wallet pretty far to convince Goldberg to appear in WWE. Therefore, he will do ANYTHING to get him over.

At this point, I should note that it has been reported a few times that Goldberg has no love for the wrestling industry, and that he only wrestles to pick up his money at the end of the month. He has received a lot of criticism for this, and I don't feel it is totally justified.

I hate my job. I'm working for the summer, filing, typing letters and doing all the shitty office jobs that nobody else wants to do. I have no love for what I do, but I try my hardest not to fuck things up, and do put effort into it.

The second part of the previous paragraph is the problem with Goldberg: He's shit at his job. He's a wrestler, and he can't wrestle. That's what it comes down to. That's why I dislike him. That's why he shouldn't be a wrestler.

In his first match back (against The Rock at Backlash), you think he would make some effort to put on a good show, and to show his fans (old and new) that he's back~! So what does he do?

Rockbottom
Spear
Powerslam
Jackhammer

Four moves in 13 minutes. Less than one move every three minutes.

He was hopelessly exposed, and looked completely shit for it, and indeed, the crowd seemed firmly behind the Rock. Not the best start for Goldberg, but at least WWE could learn from it. Right?

Of course not.

The next night, he appeared on Jericho's then-new Highlight Reel, and was taunted by Jericho and Christian. Goldberg isn't big in the mic skills department, so there was zero need for this – in fact, it made him look like an even bigger joke than before. For new fans, he can't wrestle and can't talk. Yet they are supposed to cheer the guy?

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The reason for this, I suspect, is that Vince is (obviously) very anti-WCW. Goldberg is the ultimate product of WCW – probably the only super mega monster star that WCW made in the latter half of the 90s. He was WCWs equivalent of Steve Austin. His entire gimmick was that he comes out, he kicks ass, he leaves. Simple.

But Vince doesn't like that. It's not his idea. It's not a WWE idea. It's WCW. And since WCW sucked, this idea must suck, and so he should improve it. He had Goldberg talk, go in goofy skits and wrestle long matches. Turn Goldberg into everything that WCW didn't make him, and then claim that WWE made him a star.

Except it didn't work.

Goldberg looked like complete shit in the interview segments. For his existing fans, it was a case of, "this isn't the Goldberg we know and love." And for his new fans, it was "what the HELL is this crap?"

Over time, though, we've seen shades of the Old Goldberg. He's been allowed to squash superstars in an attempt to get over. And this is the second reason that Goldberg should just… Go.

He got over in WCW, as I said, by coming out, squashing people, and leaving. His matches were formulaic and boring, but people got behind him. Fair enough – you can't argue with success. Or can you? Goldberg made himself look awesome in every match, but at the same time, each of his opponents looked like complete crap.

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Lets face it, WWE haven't been short on feeding people to Goldberg to squash. (It would seem that they finally figured out what to do with him.)

3 Minute Warning took a beating from him – at the same time as Rico.
Christian was made to look a complete bitch in their mini-feud.
He stopped the retarded White Boy Challenge, but made Rodney Mack look like a complete joke.
And he's pinned Randy Orton at least a couple of times. Randy "Legend Killer" Orton, the guy who they will feed anyone to, in an attempt to get over, got pinned by Goldberg over and over and over.

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Even last night, at Unforgiven, he no-sold Triple H's sledgehammer shot. The sledgehammer has been built up in storyline terms to be a mean ass weapon. Enough to take anyone down. Yet it doesn't hurt Goldberg. Then HHH gets a low blow (another devastating move) and a DDT, yet he gets up before HHH. Is he retarded or something? Does he genuinely not know how to sell a move?

1) Lay on the ground holding the body part that hurts
2) Try not to use that body part in moves
3) Look like you are in pain, and slow down a bit

That's all it takes, but no – Goldberg is a monster, so he doesn't sell. He didn't sell for Christian in their cage match, either. After being hit with freaking chairshots, which are universally understood to hurt, he just doesn't give a shit.

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In short, then: Goldberg can't sell, has a limited moveset, doesn't do moves for a reason, only because they are the only ones he can do, has no mic skills, and only gets over by squashing people.

And HE'S the World Champion?

Sometimes these things just don't make sense to me. And as much as I hate to bang the same drum, what does he have that Chris Jericho doesn't?

Nik
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