Promo: Chop Suey!

[Guest ScorpionDanceofDeath]

Edwin MacPhisto sits at his desk in the underbelly of the Nutter Center. His tongue curls over his upper lip as he writes something precisely. A sinister, yet playful snicker emanates from his throat. Suddenly, his office door flies open with a BOOM! causing Edwin to jump, crumple up the note he was writing and shove it into his mouth. Slowly, he begins to chew.. as he looks up at the man who barged into his office.

 

Edwin: "Wuh?"

 

He continues to chew, softening the small (thank God, Edwin thinks) bit of paper enough to finally swallow it down. Kamikaze stares.

 

Then smiles really wide.

 

Kam: "Duuude!! You're frickin' awesome, you know that?"

Edwin: "Well, yes, of course!"

Kam: "I thought I was the only one that liked blue ink as a condiment.. "

 

Edwin coughs and grabs for a paper cup.. glancing at it with a bit of disgust before filling the Dixie cup with water from a cooler. The commish quickly downs the water, then turns back to Kamikaze, his hands folded together.

 

Edwin: "What was it you wanted, Kamikaze?"

 

Kamikaze's expression turns instantly from a happy-go-lucky grin to a mad, my-Sheltie-just-got-impregnated-by-your-gimpy-Chihuahua scowl.

 

(Imagine this dialogue to Chop Suey, it's quite fun!)

 

Kam: "I was cheated on Metal!"

Edwin: "Well, y-"

Kam: "Mak had his foot on the ropes!"

Edwin: "Uh, huh."

Kam: "I could've had him!"

Edwin: "Maybe."

Kam: "I deserve another chance."

Edwin: "Come on."

 

Kamikaze ends his tirade with closed fists, shaking them dramatically in the air, then raising them to his forehead, spinning around while pleading to the commissioner.

 

Kam: "Make it a five way for the title. Judge Mental has no right to be in a title match, let me wrestle him for his place! It has been given to me! This crusade against the wrongs in this federation! We, together must fight.. for the right.. to PAAAAAAAR-TY!!"

 

The nutcase breaks from his rant and heads straight into raving mad. Acting as if at a heavy metal concert, Kam thrashes his head back and forth, his hair flailing wildly, and air guitars to Twisted Sisters. In his head, of course. Edwin just looks on with a brow raised and a 'what the heck is this guy's problem' look on his face. Kaze stops on a dime, spinning around to reach for MacPhisto.

 

Kam: "Me, you and Maria.. Edwin.. we're the only hope this federation has. Otherwise, evil will triumph and all will wither into sWo. There can be no chaos, there must be order! My first charge was Judge Mental! I squashed him in the Gavel/Cage match!"

 

Kamikaze pauses, undoubtedly as Maria whispers something to him.

 

Kam: "I know, I actually got squashed, but I still won!! And now, Mak Francis! How dastardly was his deed on Metal, holding his feet on the ropes.. I demand restitution!!"

Edwin: "How about a trip to an institution?"

 

Kamikaze settles instantly.

 

Kam: "I've had plenty of those, thanks."

Edwin: "Look, Kaze, I'll see what I can do. You're still green, yet."

 

Kamikaze's face blink into one of surprise. Furiously, Kaze searches around for something, anything, before finding one on the wall (of course Edwin had one!).. a mirror. He checks his handsome-in-a-shaggy-way self out.

 

Edwin: "Didn't mean it literally.. "

Kam: "Well, I've been feeling a little green. Green with desire!"

 

Kam goes back into rant mode, shoving his index finger in the air and bugging his eyes a bit. Edwin shakes his head.

 

Kam: "Oh, wait, that's envy.. "

 

He deflates, hunches his shoulders and drags his feet as he heads out of MacPhisto's office. He can be heard mumbling as he nods his head and turns a corner.

 

Edwin: "That boy is straaaaange."

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

LOL, excellent work, Kamikaze. A funny and enjoyable little promo.

 

~Ash~

[Guest ScorpionDanceofDeath]

Thank you! A reply! I may finally rejoice! The tower?! The tower?! Rapunzel! Rapunzel!

 

I appreciate your comments, Ash.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Very interesting.

 

Use lyrics next time, FOO.

[Guest ScorpionDanceofDeath]

I did! Didn't you see?! Twisted Sisters' "Fight for the Right to Party" or whatever. And, well.. isn't the beat of Chop Suey enough?