King Cucaracha

A soft purple hue hangs over the ring as we return to find the King Of The Ring ceremony ready to be conducted. A large, regal throne sits in the middle of the red carpetted ring. Hanging from gold stands are the robe, hate and scepter to annoint the new King. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your 2010 OAOAST KING OF THE RING... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The triumphant trumpetting of "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays through the arena and the crowd rise to their foot to boo their new King! Beaming with pride, Landon emerges through the entrance with arms outstretched, lording it over the crowd. Following him out, no surprise, are the rest of Cucaracha Internacional. However, what is a bit of a surprise is who follows [i]them[/i]... Queen Esther and All The Queen's Men! COLE Isn't this fitting. The new King and the woman responsible for his victory, out here to celebrate together. COACH "Responsible" nothing. The only man responsible for greatness is the man himself. He beat seven men to be crowned King, that deserves your respect whether you like it or not. COLE Are you kidding? He beat [i]two[/i] men, Coach. He got a bye in the semi-finals and he only beat Denzel Spencer in the Finals thanks to a little assist from Queen Esther who was watching the match from ringside. As the 10-strong party all enter the ring Landon looks at the throne with great joy. He looks around like a child on Christmas, looking for some sort of signal that he can infact actually sit in the seat and try it out. And at the first signal he scampers forward and gets himself comfortable in the plush red pillowed seat. The crowd are not impressed and boo loudly, threatening to ruin the coronation with chants of "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH Look how happy he is Michael! How proud he is to be King! Practically giddy with delight Landon watches as two important looking suited figures enter the ring. Not important enough to be named or introduced though. They are apparantly in charge of the proceedings though, as they lift the large purple and gold robe from it's stand. Queen Esther looks on with great joy as Landon stands up and allows himself to be fitted with the robe. Taking his scepter, Landon then sits back down as the two suited men lift up the crown. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, once again, your KING OF THE RING... LANDON MADDIX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The crown is lowered onto Landon's head, his eyes wide in delight. COACH What a moment! What a great moment! COLE If Landon gets any more excited, his brain is going to explode. With their duties done, the unnamed suits exit the ring, leaving Landon to address his crowd. LANDON Ladies and gentlemen... hang on, hang on. Sorry, I'm still getting the hang of this. [i]My loyal subjects[/i]... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LANDON Today is a brave new day in the OAOAST! Today, I, Landon Maddix, have been appointed your King. And it is with great pleasure that I accept this crown, this robe and this really cool wand here. COLE Scepter. COACH Whatever. LANDON As some of you may know my roots are very rich. My family were from a gifted country, Spain, a country steeped in royal tradition. I look from this point on to continue that fine tradition of Spanish royalty. And just as Juan Carlos, current King Of Spain, oversaw Spain's transition from dictatorship to democracy, I, Landon Maddix, King Of The Ring, will lead the OAOAST forward as a true leader of men. Not just a King for one country, but a King with international reach. Infact, you might say... I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE That might have been the smartest thing Landon has ever said... you know, until the Titanic quote. Queen Esther can hold herself back no longer and takes the microphone, gushing with pride. QUEEN ESTHER Oh great joy and great salutations on this day, King Landon. You truly bring nobility and royalty to the OAOAST today. As I watched you last week I knew it was you and only you worthy of this crowd. And I simply had to take action. Heavens, it pained my heart to toy with the strings of fate. But I must. Must, I say! COACH See, she apologised. COLE Oh, yeah, sure. LANDON Thank you Esther. Your grace and beauty is an inspiration to me. That's why, as my first official proclaimation as King, I am announcing the MERGER of Cucaracha Internacional and All The Queen's Men, to form my Cucaracha [i]Kingdom[/i]!! However, this is one drawback. You see, any Kingdom... it needs it's Knights. Men who are willing to fight for their monarchy. But, in this Kingdom... there is only room for one King. Landon's head turns towards The Last Kings Of Scotland, who look surprised to have apparantly been singled out. LANDON Especially when those Kings have already let their Queen down once before. Queen Esther's heart craved the Anderson Cup trophy to be mounted upon her wall. And you two let her down. You are unkempt. You are thuggish. And there is no room for you in this Kingdom. Danny Boy and Scottish Scott protest their case, but Landon quiets them down. LANDON I'm sorry. Queen's orders. Suddenly, RICO AND LUCIUS BLAST SCOTTISH SCOTT FROM BEHIND!! Danny Boy tries to fight them off but is overwhelmed by the attack. Cucaracha Internacional just stand back and watch, Landon overseeing this from his throne, as Rico and Lucius beat down the unprepared Scots. The right hands of Rico bust open the forehead of Scottish Scott from the mount position, while Lucius stomps the hell out of Danny Boy with his hard dress shoes. COLE I can't believe what I'm seeing! The Last Kings Of Scotland, being thrown out of the Kingdom, by men who were their own partners just a few days ago! And Queen Esther is just standing back and watching without a care in the world! COACH Those are not noble men. How Queen Esther put up with those brutes for so long, I don't know. The beating is swift and brutal and The Last Kings Of Scotland are thrown from the ring. With that out of the way Landon smiles and attempts to move on. Megan, Black and Blonde all watch this with a little confusion on their faces. Referees come out from the back and help Scottish Scott to the back, with Danny Boy not wanting any help but being escorted out as well. LANDON With that unpleasantness behind us forever, we move onwards and upwards. A new day with the Cucaracha Kingdom reigning over the OAOAST! And together, we will rule over all who oppose us and all who worship us equally. And if you thought my leadership was powerful before, just imagine what great feats can be achieved now that I have a Queen by my side! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther blushes and fans herself, embarrassed by the compliment. However, she's not the only one. Looking thoroughly fed up of all of this ceremony, Megan Skye walks around the back of the throne and starts to get into an arguement with Queen Esther! COLE Uh oh. LANDON Ladies... ladies, please! Megan and Esther's confrontation continues, despite Landon's pleas for them to stop. And it starts to get ugly, as Esther informs Megan that "there's only room for one [i]Queen[/i] as well". Megan doesn't take kindly to this and scowls at Esther, before losing her temper and SHOVING THE QUEEN ONTO HER BUTT!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" QUEEN ESTHER :O COLE OH MY~! I don't think Megan is taking too kindly to having Queen Esther muscle in on her territory! Landon leaps from his throne and attends to Queen Esther, as do Blonde and The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. Shocked, Queen Esther looks mortified at having been embarrassed. Landon is horrified, trying to make sure his Queen is okay. Then, with a furious look on his face, Landon turns to Megan, who is understandably taken aback to see her man glaring at her. LANDON Nobody... but NOBODY... puts their hands on my Queen! Surprised at being yelled at like this, Megan backs away. Landon remains furious, as he motions to Rico and Lucius. LANDON Knights... ...[b]OFF WITH HER HEAD![/b] COLE WHAT!? Given their orders, Rico and Lucius turn their attentions to Megan ready to attack! COLE What the HELL is this!? Landon is sticking his cronies on Megan!? Has he lost his mind!? Megan backs away and cowers in the corner as the Hellfire Club close in on her, completely helpless. She tries to plead for some mercy, but Rico and Lucius aren't backing up, as Landon looks on with no signs of remorse for what is about to happen to his closest confidant. But before Rico and Lucius can lay a finger on Megan, there's help from an unlikely source, as NATHANIEL BLACK STEPS IN FRONT OF HER!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BLACK IF YOU WANT 'ER, YER GONNA 'AVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST! Surprised by this, Rico and Lucius stop, Black not backing down from the two! Angered by this Landon makes another signal. And Faqu is ordered in to take care of this situation, which he does, BY JUMPING NATHANIEL!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Megan sees Black go down and quickly gets out of the ring to safety, as Faqu, Rico and Lucius all put the boots to Nathaniel Black! The three on one is too much for Black and he's quickly overwhelmed. Once he's sure Black is down Landon walks over, watching the beatdown occur before stepping in. He moves Rico aside enough to hover over Black, screaming "TRAITOR! TRAITOR!" at the Englishman, before giving him a kick in the ribs. That angers Black enough to reach out and grab at Landon, but before he can reach, the stomps wear him down again. COLE This is ridiculous! Nathaniel Black stepped up and did the right thing and this is what he gets? COACH He betrayed the King's wishes! He's been a problem for Landon for months now. And he let him down one too many times, so now, the Kingdom has to deal with him, just like they did with Scottish Scott and Danny Boy. With Black stomped until he's unable to defend himself, Landon finally calls a halt to the beating. Adjusting his robe he scowls down at the Englishman before turning his back to the 'traitor' and extending his arms to the booing crowd, trying to put all eyes back on him as "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays again. The applause of Blonde and Queen Esther is in stark contrast to the reaction of the fans and that of Megan, who stands on the outside, looking on shocked at the motionless Black. COLE If this "coronation" has proven anything, it's this. Landon Maddix has officially gone mad with power. COACH That's [i]King[/i] Landon. The boos continue to rain down on the Cucaracha Kingdom as they leave the ring. Landon holding the ropes for Queen Esther, Blonde holding the ropes for Landon. Rico and Lucius keep an eye on Black incase he comes back for more while Faqu screams into the camera lens in Samoan. And despite the chaos that he's just caused, Landon seems intent on enjoying his status as King as he walks, head high, back up the aisle.

It's in there. I shifted it between the KOTR 1/4s and 1/2s because I needed a break of some sort between CPA/Cash and CPA/Denzel.

KOTR Final's in. Apologies for the delay.

"In The Air Tonight" by Nonpoint hits again and for the second time tonight, CPA walks out, puffing on a brand new cigar. MELISSA The following contest is a semi final match in the King Of The Ring tournament! Introducing first. From Miami, Florida... weighing two hundred and eighty pounds, V.I.C.E member CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN... C... P... A!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CPA enters the ring, all business. COLE Our first and our only semi-final match. And here's how the tournament lies after the first round. Landon Maddix, through to the Final, courtesy of a bye after his victory against Colombian Heat and the ten minute time-limit draw between Christian Wright and Baron Windels. Landon awaits the winner of this match, between CPA, who was dominant earlier on against Tim Cash, and CPA's opponent, who looked similarly impressive in his first round encounter with Thunderkid, Denzel Spencer. Right on cue, "Master Blaster (Jammin')" plays and the Heartland Champion appears, with a parade of green and yellow pyrotechnics. MELISSA And his opponent. From Montego Bay, Jamaica... weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds. The OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEENNZZZZEEELLLLL... SSSPPPEEENNCCCEEEEERRRRR!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Denzel slides into the ring and sets off some more of the green 'n gold stuff. In the background, away from the pyro, CPA stands shadow boxing, eyes fixed on the back of Spencer's head. COLE Denzel was able to overcome a size disadvantage earlier on against Thunderkid. But CPA, one of the OAOAST's real big boys. *DINGDINGDING* Ready to go, Denzel squares up to CPA, guard up ready to box. Or so it seems. CPA just looks at him and chuckles as he puts up his fists as well, but Denzel surprises him with a kick to the thigh. Annoyed at that, Allen throws a big right hand, which Denzel ducks, firing another kick to the thigh. And another one. CPA reaches out and grabs Denzel by the throat, stopping him for a second. The Jamaican quickly swats the arm away though and hits a dropkick, sending CPA through the ropes and to the outside! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" CPA slaps the apron in frustration as Denzel gets the crowd fired up. COLE Of course we've got one very interested spectator in this match, Landon Maddix. And I believe that Landon is joining us right now... As CPA takes his time on the outside, a picture-in-picture box appears in the top corner showing Landon Maddix and Megan Skye backstage, watching. COLE And Landon, if you can hear us, what are you thinking as you watch these two potential opponents? LANDON Well I'm always thinking. You know that. Always working on a gameplan, a strategy. CPA climbs back into the ring and Denzel makes the mistake of trying to lock up. He's quickly over-powered and forced to the mat with a painful looking head vice manoeuver, the neck being twisted to one side. COLE You've got to be feeling pretty good right now knowing that you're already in the Finals and your opponent will have to wrestle an extra match. Quite the stroke of luck for you in getting a bye. LANDON Hey, it's not my fault ol' "Tex" couldn't get the job done, yet again. Surprised he's not out here whining and complaining about a second chance, like he was when he wanted my 8-Man Tag Titles. Bye or no bye, doesn't matter. I'd have beaten Baron, I'd have beaten Christian Wright, I'd have beaten either of them, I'd already be in the Finals either way. Luck's got nothing to do with why I am where I am today Michael Cole. Denzel manages to fight back to his feet and tries to escape with some shots to the gut on CPA, but a clubbing blow over the back cuts him off. Landon grimaces at this, before glancing back up to camera. COLE So looking at this match, who are you routing for? Who would you rather face in the finals? CPA or Denzel? LANDON You know, it really doesn't matter... In the ring, CPA delivers another clubbing blow and Landon catches it out of the corner of his eye, grimacing again. LANDON ...it doesn't matter. Either. COLE You really don't have any preference whatsoever? LANDON Of course not. I mean, if you're suggesting that maybe I'd be 'afraid' or facing... one of these two men? No. I'm not afraid of anybody. It doesn't matter who I face in the Final, I'm ready for anybody, I... MEGAN (cutting in) We want Denzel to win, because of the size difference. LANDON .....yeah. Yeah, that's... yeah. Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm afraid of CPA. COLE Thank you for joining us Landon. Bravado stepped on, Landon hangs his head a little as the picture in picture goes away and we see CPA cranking away on the neck of Spencer again. COLE Well, at least one of those two is willing to cut the bull and tell it like it is. Landon is better matched in size against Denzel than CPA. Where's the shame in that? COACH ...he's not afraid, okay! COLE I never even suggested he was! Fighting back to his feet again Denzel puts everything he's got into some elbows to the breadbasket, freeing himself from the vice-like grip of CPA. He then hits the ropes, running into the path of a Big Boot, but able to baseball slide underneath Allen's leg! CPA stumbles and Denzel capitalises with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Denzel delivers some forearms to CPA, keeping him off balance, then hits the ropes. A flying attack is thwarted as CPA catches the Jamaican in mid-air, blocking whatever he was planning to do before tossing him aside in irritation. However, Denzel lands on his feet. As CPA charges, Denzel then sidesteps and guides the bigman into the turnbuckles chest first. Denzel pumps his fist, but suddenly gets grabbed as he goes to attack and is spun and thrown into the turnbuckles himself! COACH Woah! COLE Power from Allen! As Denzel picks himself up in the corner, CPA lines him up. A hard bodyshot connects. And another one, lifting Denzel off his feet. As does a third. COLE Just look at the force of those punches. Brutal. COACH Nothing CPA likes more than treating someone like a human punching bag. So much more fun than just a regular punching bag. CPA whips Denzel into the opposite corner. Up and over goes Denzel though, managing to evade CPA's charge. CPA turns around and gets caught with another dropkick, throwing him back into the corner. Denzel rushes in and gets backdropped over the top, but manages to land on the apron. He avoids a big right from Allen and feeds a shoulder through the ropes into the gut. COLE There's the speed and the evasiveness that Denzel needs. Shrugging off the shot to his midsection CPA goes to grab Denzel again, but the Heartland Champion surprises him by sliding in under the bottom rope and through his legs! COLE Nice escape! Back up, Denzel hits the ropes again. A clothesline rocks CPA, but doesn't put him down. COLE Denzel trying to pick up the pace here. He's got to rely on that speed and that agility here against the bigman, try and keep him on his toes. Connecting with a second clothesline Denzel rocks CPA back a step more than last time and decides to take a risk, going to the top rope. He soars in off the top, looking for a big flying crossbo... CAUGHT! CPA catches Denzel in mid-air and then SLAMS him into the mat! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Denzel may have rolled the dice too early on that one. COACH Yeah that wasn't so smart. Why you gonna dive right into a dude that back? Might as well take a running jump into a moving train. CPA drags Denzel back up with a handful of hair. A big headbutt staggers Denzel, the turnbuckles the only thing to keep him up. CPA whips him into the opposite corner and follows up with a big corner clothesline. Staggering out, Spencer is then scooped up and hit with a Sidewalk Slam! Leg hooked... 1... 2... Kickout! Scoop and a slam by CPA, coming off the ropes and dropping a big elbow! 1... 2... No! COLE We all know the desire that Denzel Spencer has. He's not going to give this one up without a fight. COACH That's okay. CPA ain't fussed. He'll take his time. CPA picks Denzel up, giving him another headbutt. The Jamaican is in search of the support of the crowd at this point and gets it, the Edmonton crowd willing him on. Whipped into the ropes, Denzel is picked up for another sideslam. However he manages to twist and wriggle his body around and surprise everybody by turning a bad situation into a Swinging DDT and plant CPA's head into the canvas!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a great counter there, Denzel all the way around the world and out the other side in the blinking of an eye! Both men are down and the referee starts his count. Eventually Denzel is able to turn over and cover CPA though... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Forceful kickout though! CPA ain't done yet. This is a dude who was made to be King! Struggling back to their feet, both men are up at the same time. Denzel tries to attack the legs with some more kicks, then fires away with a few right hands. Standing up to all this CPA tries to take Denzel's head off with a clothesline, narrowly avoided by the Heartland Champion. Off the ropes, he flies back at CPA with a crossbody, this time enough to knock him down... 1... 2... No! Denzel feeds a leg to CPA, caught, but setting the bigman up for an Enziguri! COLE That one rocked CPA! Falling to his knees CPA is rolled up with a La Magistral cradle! 1... 2... No! Denzel hits the ropes again and comes steaming back at CPA, who instinctively reaches out and palms Denzel up into the air... bringing him down chest-first over the top ring rope!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Hung him out to dry! And Denzel better watch out, because CPA looks ready to unleash the Gigaton Punch! CPA crouches down, waiting for Denzel to pick himself back up. Out of the corner he comes charging and throws the big Gigaton Punch... but Spencer ducks! He wheels around, looking to catch CPA off guard. But CPA catches him and drives him into the mat with a Front Spinebuster instead!! COACH Wham~! Dropping to his knees, CPA stacks Spencer up on his shoulders... 1... 2... NO! COLE A kickout from Denzel! And CPA looks dumbfounded. COACH He looks pissed off, is what he looks! After staring down the referee, CPA drags Denzel back up off the mat with a scowl on his face. Roughly putting on a gutwrench the bigman takes Denzel up over his shoulder and tries to finish him off with the Dominator, but Denzel wriggles free again! With a high leap, a spinning roundhouse kick cracks CPA in the back of the head and he falls forward, hitting the middle rope. COLE What a shot that was. Now CPA really looks dumbfounded! Bouncing up off the ropes CPA then walks into a surprise codebreaker!! COLE OH! Got him with the codebreaker! That set up Thunderkid earlier, is it going to work again here!? Up to the top Denzel wastes no time, doing as he did to TK as he hits the KINPUPPALICK and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE YES! Denzel Spencer, going to the Finals! *DINGDINGDING!* Rolling to his feet Denzel holds the back of his head, nursing the effects of the match even as he pumps his fists in celebration at the victory. MELISSA Your winner of the match, advancing to the King Of The Ring Final... DDEEENNZZZEEEELLLLL SSSPPEEEEENNCCCEEEEEERRR!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Denzel punches the air and celebrates his victory, clearly hurting as he does so though. COLE So it will be Denzel Spencer, the Heartland Champion, to take on Landon Maddix to crown our first ever King Of The Ring! And boy what an effort it was here from Denzel to overcome the bigman CPA. COACH That's the keyword, an 'effort'. He had a tough match earlier, now a tough match here with CPA. Meanwhile, Landon been sat in the back, kicking back and chilling out since the start of the show with only one match under his belt. COLE Denzel may be at a disadvantage from a fatigue standpoint, but I don't think that will bother him at all right now. He's going to the Final. And that should be one heck of a Final right there.

"We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The fans rise to their feet and boo their hearts out, not pleased with how they're going to start the night off. Landon Maddix emerges through the neon entrance way with a theatrical twirl and a big smile on his face. Nodding his head he makes his way to the ring, flanked as always by the much more serious Megan Skye. MELISSA The following contest is a quarterfinal King Of The Ring match, set for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LLAANNDDOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Melissa Nerdly, who'll be sharing duties tonight with Michael Buffer here in her hometown, on a very Nerdly night indeed! But we start tonight off with our King Of The Ring tournament, to crown the first ever official King of the OAOAST, what a night this should be. COACH That's right. Somebody's leaving Edmonton with the royal seal of approval, which is gonna translate to some serious cash money. Landon enters the ring with more of his customary theatrics, spinning into the centre of the ring and soaking in the moment, if not the appreciation. He hands over his makeshift 8-Man Tag Title to Megan and limbers up, as a piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. [b]"COME ON!" [i]*BOOM~!*[/i][/b] Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing and Colombian Heat comes out. Heat runs out onto the entrance stage and raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. MELISSA And his opponent! Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida! Weighing in at one hundred and eighty pounds... he is... COLOMBIAN... HHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Colombian Heat slaps some of the fans hands and then jogs up the ring steps, hopping into the ring. Landon looks on with his nose turned up, not impressed as Heat climbs the ropes and throws up the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal to the crowd. COLE Always a great time when Colombian Heat is in the house! Grabbing a microphone, Heat signals for his music to die down. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLOMBIAN HEAT Alright, alright, let's do this real, let's do this right, cause we are LIVE baby! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" HEAT So, if all of y'all are ready to see me become the KING of this piece, make e'rybody up in here feel the Heat and become the King Of The Ring, then Edmonto make some noise UP IN THI-- *THUD* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Hey wait a minute! Maddix, from behind, with a cheapshot! COACH Haha, love it! *DINGDINGDING* Blindsighting Heat in mid catchphrase, Maddix puts the boots to the Colombian as the referee chastises him for his attack before the bell. Landon backs off and holds his hands up in apology. But not for long. He stomps at Heat again as he tries to get back up, then lays into him against the ropes with some forearm shots. COACH Landon obviously wants to get this match done and dusted as quickly as possible. He's still got two more matches after this if he wants to become king. Can't blame him. COLE I can blame him for jumping a man before the bell, from behind. COACH If you want to waste your time with catchphrases while you're standing in a wrestling ring, you get what you deserve. After a couple of knifedge chops, Landon whips Heat into the ropes and ducks his head for a backdrop. But Heat counters with a sunset flip! COLE Look out here! 1... 2... NO! COLE So much for the quick start, Heat almost had him right there and then! Back up, Landon throws a right hand, but it's blocked and retaliated. Another block and another right from Heat. And again. With Landon dazed, Heat does a quick DANCE, looking to shake, rattle and roll on La Cucaracha. Landon ducks the right hand though, cutting Heat off with a quick boot to the gut. He then hits the ropes, but runs right into the big right from Heat at the second time of asking! Quick to follow up, Heat breaks out the SHIMMY~! and drops a knee. COLE Shaky Leg Kneedrop from Heat! The Heat is being turned up early here! Heat encourages the crowd to get behind him as he goes after Landon. Irish whip sends him into the corner. Heat charges in and Landon manages to sidestep, but Heat stops himself, getting his foot up onto the middle turnbuckle. After catching Maddix coming in with an elbow, Heat then springs off the middle rope and hits a twisting crossbody block! 1... 2... No! Getting up in the corner, Maddix is forced to sidestep again, Heat coming at him fast and furious. Heat goes into the turnbuckles this time, but gets a foot up as Landon attempts to charge in on him. Coming out of the corner the Colombian leaps up and hooks Landon with a Hurricanrana, sending La Cucaracha spilling underneath the bottom rope and to the outside!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, you know what they say. If you can't stand the Heat, get out of the ring! COACH I can't stand the Heat. Does that mean I can leave too? COLE Unfortunately not. Rallying it up, it looks like Heat is ready to dive, waiting for Maddix to pick himself up on the arena floor. As Heat comes back off the ropes Landon manages to shake it off. And he jumps to the apron, just in time to cut Heat off mid-dive, midway through the ropes!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Heat falls back into the ring holding his head, while Landon takes a moment to stop and point to his, showing the world just how smart he is. COLE I'm not sure if Landon suckered Heat into that one, or just got lucky. I do know which one Landon would have you believe. Landon climbs back inside and waits for Heat to get back up. He delivers a hard kick to the chest. And a second. Heat doubles up, as Landon comes off the ropes, looking for a clothesline. Heat manages to duck underneath, getting Landon in a waistlock. Elbowing his way out, Landon then ducks a clothesline attempt from Heat and scores with a quick neckbreaker, bringing Heat's head down into his outstretched knee. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Sitting Heat up, Landon dishes out a couple more kicks, this time down the spine of the Colombian. A dropkick to the face then puts him back down for another pinfall attempt... 1.. 2... Kickout again! COACH Landon's a thinking man's wrestler. But he's gotta speed it up tonight and he knows that, he ain't playing around. COLE Ten minute time-limits on all of these first round King Of The Ring matches. It's turning up the pressure just a little bit for our eight competitors, excitement abounds tonight at the Nerdly Spectacular. Putting the boots to Heat again Landon takes his time, for now at least. Picking him back up, Landon then delivers a forearm to Heat. The Colombian falls back into the corner and Landon looks a little more confident now with his opponent dazed. "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Dishing out some more forearms in the corner, Maddix stops to pose and let everyone know how much good their chanting is doing. COLE What was that you were saying about 'not playing around'? COACH There's nothing wrong with gloating while you're on top. COLE Yeah, what could [i]possibly[/i] go wrong with that attitude? Landon whips Heat across the ring into the opposite corner. With a duck of his head, Heat manages to do a Flair Flip out onto the apron which surprises Landon, causing him to run into the turnbuckles chest first! He recovers, throwing a right hand at Heat, which is blocked. A right hand then staggers Landon back, allowing Heat to springboard to the top and soar in with a flying forearm smash!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH ...don't even say a word. After a second or two's rest, both men are back up. And it's Colombian Heat on the offensive, throwing right hands and keeping Landon on the back foot. After five or six shots, one big one is enough to knock Landon off his feet and Heat motions to the crowd again and does the "shimmy dance". COLE Colombian Heat is ROLLING! Are we looking at King Heat? King Colombia, maybe? COACH If this fool become the King it'd be a joke. I bet he can't even spell royalty, let alone do it! COLE How exactly do you "do" royalty? COACH Shut up! As Landon staggers his way, Heat takes him up with the Drive By! 1... 2... No! Done playing around, Heat gives the signal, ready to put on the Colombian Necktie! Maddix staggers back to his feet again and walks right into a boot, hooked up, turned over... ...but Landon slips free in the nick of time and spins down the back, rolling Heat up with a schoolboy! COACH Great counter! 1... 2... NO! Landon quickly cuts Heat off with a knee to the gut, buying himself a few seconds. After getting his head back in check Landon hooks Heat up and runs towards the turnbuckles for the Seated Shiranui. Heat manages to get underneath Landon and throw La Cucaracha off though. Landing on his feet, Landon takes a second too long to recover and as he goes after Heat again, he gets caught with the PELE KICK~! COLE THE PELE~! Heat caught him with it! COACH Oh no, oh no, come on Landon! With Maddix down, Heat looks around, realising how close he is to the turnbuckles. So he steps outside, heading to the top rope to try and put Landon away. Heat climbs the turnbuckles and throws up the "Westside" again, before delivering the big Frog Splash off the top!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Fatal Mistake! That's going to be the fatal blow for Landon Maddix! 1... 2... NO, KICKOUT BY LANDON!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Phew! Heat takes issue with the referee, after a close, close nearfall. "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Helping Landon pick himself up, Heat goes to work in the corner. Unloading with chops and punches, Landon is almost out on his feet from the barrage Heat dishes out, until the referee calls for a break. Heat backs off, but when he moves back in, Landon gets a boot up into the face! Lifting himself onto the middle rope Maddix then comes off with a Flying DDT, planting Heat's head into the canvas!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Whoo! How's that for some exciting offence? COLE A beautiful move by Landon, but is it going to be enough? Landon rolls Heat over and hooks both legs... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Now it's Landon's turn to question the count, almost pleading with the referee that that was three. COLE Landon shouldn't be wasting time arguing the referee. He ought to be concentrating on Colombian Heat. COACH Oh he is, don't you worry. Done with the referee, Landon [i]does[/i] concentrate on Heat, rolling to his feet and stalking the Colombian ready to send him to sleep. COLE Uh-oh. Could be naptime! Heat pulls himself back up, with screams from the crowd trying to warn him of what's waiting behind. Unaware of this Heat turns around and gets picked up on the shoulders... NO! Heat slips down the back! Spinning Landon around, he delivers a boot to the gut and quickly hooks him up for the Colombian Necktie... ...but Landon escapes!! Landing on his feet, he shoves Heat away, right into the referee's path!! Trapped in the corner the referee throws his hands up and Heat JUST manages to stop himself from crushing the ref against the turnbuckles. COLE That was a narrow escape for the official there... Once he's sure the referee is okay Heat turns back around... ...but gets caught by Landon and struck with the GO 2 SLEEP, taking his eye off the ball for a second too long!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH GTS, BIATCH~! COLE Out of nowhere, La Cucaracha strikes! With a look of relief, Landon slumps on top and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And Landon Maddix is marching on! MELISSA Here is your winner, advancing in the King Of The Ring tournament... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAADDIIIIXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" On his knees, Landon wipes the hair from his eyes and breaks into a smile as he realises he's managed to sneak through. Heat is out cold from the knee and can do nothing about Landon insultingly placing one foot on his chest as his hands is raised in victory. COLE So Landon Maddix, after a hard-fought battle, advancing on to the semi-finals, where he'll meet the winner of our next quarterfinal encounter. Landon rolls out of the ring, signalling that it's "one down, two to go" as he leaves.

2010 OAOAST King Of The Ring Tournament ~~QUARTER FINALS~~ Baron Windels vs. Christian Wright Colombian Heat vs. Landon Maddix Denzel Spencer vs. Thunderkid Tim Cash vs. CPA Plus, the Semi Finals and the Final EDIT: Incidentally, thanks for helping me out with this guys. Much appreciated!

Anywhere else in the world it would be considered strange. In the hallways backstage at the OAOAST though? Dressed up in her light blue ballgown, Queen Esther scuttles her way around in a tizzy, passing normal people who are dressed normally, acting normal. Making Queen Esther look even more out of place than she is. In the OAOAST, this is normal. QUEEN ESTHER Oh, this is terrible. Just terrible. As the Queen scuttles around flapping her hands, Josh Matthews appears, giving Esther a start. QUEEN ESTHER OH! MATTHEWS Are you okay? QUEEN ESTHER Good heavens, you appeared from the very air that surrounds you! MATTHEWS Actually I just came out of the bathroom. Door's right over there. Anyway, why are you so flustered? Is there a problem? QUEEN ESTHER Why, there most certainly is. Problems aplenty! Oh, I have been suffering from great sadness all week. Twas to have been a night of great jubilation, but it has all gone wrong! This is not how it was supposed to have been. No no no, it is not. My noble Scottish Kings were to have progressed on to the main attraction of this fine, ancient tournament named in honour of Sir Anderson of Minnesota. But, oh... woe! WOE IS ME! For my Kings were defeated, by two young ladies. Oh, they messed it all up for me. They ruined it all, all of my hopes and dreams, left in tatters! MATTHEWS Well, Krista and Alix... they'll do that to ya. Queen Esther gives Josh a funny look, as if not sure what he's talking about. MATTHEWS Are you okay? QUEEN ESTHER I'm fine. I must go, for my heart needs time to heal. MATTHEWS Uhm, before you go, have you got any thoughts about the upcoming King Of The Ring tournament? Again, Queen Esther gives Josh one of those "what are you talking about" looks. It's amazing how someone walking around a sports arena in a ballgown and tiara can look at someone else as if [i]they're[/i] the crazy one. MATTHEWS The King Of The Ring. February 25th. You didn't know about it? QUEEN ESTHER There is to be a King crowned! Oh, my word, then I really must go and prepare myself! Oh, this is the most wonderous news! A competition to find me a King! How marvelous! MATTHEWS Uh, actually... I don't think it's [i]for[/i] you. QUEEN ESTHER Oh. I see. Well. Then, I of course applaud the OAOAST for embracing the paegentry of royalty. I hope they shall find themselves a fine King. Although, of course, royalty and nobility like mine is not something you can merely 'win'. MATTHEWS Of course. The Queen stands around for a few seconds, not realising her interview is over, before she marches off, a bit perturbed. COLE Oh dear. Do you think the Queen is feeling a bit threatened by the prospect of a King being crowned in the OAOAST? COACH She's got other things on her mind, Michael. Like what happened a couple of weeks ago. COLE Well Chicks Over Dicks did beat the Queen's team, Danny Boy and Scottish Scott, two weeks ago. And Krista and Alix will be going to the Anderson Cup Final on February 25th, at the Nerdly Spectacular, taking on The Heavenly Rockers. That should be something.

"Sweet Home Chicago" hits and cheerful as ever, the bigman Jumbo struts through the entrance way. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois... weighing in at four hundred, fourty pounds... JJJUUUUUUUUMMMMMBBOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Jumbo tags hands down to the ring and makes his way around, the sight of this gigantic man strutting around in his red leather jacket bringing great joy to the people of Saskatoon. COLE King Of The Ring Qualifying Match here tonight, with the winner moving on to the eight man, single elimination stage at the Nerdly Spectacular. The bigman Jumbo set for action and it's [i]always[/i] a great time when Jumbo's in the house! COACH You know, Jumbo'd be the perfect person to win this tournament. COLE (wary) Why's that? COACH Well, he's already used to having everything King-Sized! [color="#00FF00"] [b]Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long[/b] [/color] Through the thick fog of night, emerges Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. The God Child soaks up the bile from the audience, and then releases it with one powerful thrust of his arm into the air. Right at that moment green pyro blazes upwards towards the rafters. Looking splendid in a backless yellow gown, Lorelei joins him his side with a bright and bold smile. Together they hook each other's arms and walk down the entrance ramp with heads held high in pride and contempt for the audience. COACH Ol' Jumbo's got his work cut out for him tonight. BUFFER And the opponent. Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Christian climbs the steps into the ring, showing no intimidation from Jumbo as he enters. COLE Christian Wright is still a man of his word, still undefeated in the OAOAST ever since he made his proclaimation to remain so. Now four months without a pinfall or submission against him and I have to admit, I doubted Christian Wright at first. But he has been most impressive. COACH It just goes to show what a little dedication and some goal orientation can do for a man. CW is a man at the top of his game, no doubt. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds, but Christian isn't ready just yet. Taking his time over unbuttoning his dress shirt, The God Child makes his opponent wait for him. COLE [i]However[/i], you have to wonder what exactly is going to happen when Christian finally does lose a match. COACH He won't. Not so long as the sun may set and the moon may rise and all that jazz. COLE Well, impressive or not, I don't see how one man, at 26 years old, can go the rest of their career without a loss against their name. And tonight Christian has got to face a man twice his size. We'll see if this newfound confidence can overcome the size and girth of big Jumbo. Finally stripped down and ready to go Christian gets into the match and circles his large opponent. They lock up and Wright tries to fight the power head on. However, Jumbo merely throws Wright off. Shaken up by this, Christian calmly walks back to his corner and kneels down to consult with Lorelei over some new strategy. COLE Confidence or no confidence, that's not the way to overcome Jumbo. CW emerges from the corner and locks up with Jumbo again. This time Wright has a plan in mind, kneeing Jumbo in the gut. Wright dishes out a European uppercut. And a second one. Off the ropes, Wright then hits a clothesline. Jumbo doesn't go down after all this, leaving Christian looking a little perplexed. Running the ropes again he delivers a second clothesline, still not enough to do any more than wobble Jumbo a bit. So CW hits the ropes again, only for Jumbo to cut him off and engulf him with a big body attack! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Nor is running into Jumbo and expecting him to budge! Cover by Jumbo... 1... 2... Kickout. Wright quickly rolls away and underneath the bottom rope, trying to collect his thoughts. COLE Christian trying to get away, but he's not going to get away for long here. Reaching over the ropes, Jumbo grabs Wright by the hair and drags him back up onto the apron. However, Christian manages to shrug him off and hangs Jumbo across the top rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Wright quickly rolls back in and catches Jumbo from behind with a chopblock! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Man down! COLE Oh man, Jumbo's knee buckled on that shot. And that's a lot of weight coming down on your leg if you land awkwardly. Cover by Wright... 1... 2... No. Wright jumps back up and puts the boots to Jumbo, then focuses on the leg. He drops an elbow to the inside of the knee. And then a second. Trying to apply a figure four, he soon realises Jumbo is the wrong size for that kind of move, so settles for a spinning toehold instead. COLE Now Christian going to work on that knee. This is a sounder strategy than the last one. Get this big man down to size. COACH See, the man had a great strategy all along and all you could do was criticise from the sideline. As CW puts the torque on the knee, Jumbo refuses to give up. And after some time being worn away at, he finally aleviates his knee by kicking Wright off with the free leg. Wright is straight back to his feet though. Not letting Jumbo up, he kicks the bigman back down before applying the toehold again. Lorelei applauds from ringside, the only one in the arena enjoying this. "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" WRIGHT SILENCE! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Irritated by the chants, Wright lets go of the hold and drops an elbow on Jumbo's chest, looking for a pin... 1... 2... No. Jumbo hobbles back to his feet and catches CW walking in with a right hand. And another one. Wright goes to the knee with a quick kick though and hobbles Jumbo again. Ducking behind, Wright leaps up and slaps on a Sleeper Hold. With all of Christian's weight on his back Jumbo's knee eventually buckles and he falls down trapped in the hold. COACH We're playing the slow game, Michael. Let's hope Jumbo's been doing his cardio and not his carbohydrates. The crowd get behind Jumbo as they sense him beginning to weaken. Not just yet says Jumbo, wagging his finger. He climbs back up and elbows Christian in the gut, almost forcing his guts out through his mouth! COLE Oh, Christian got caught good that time! With Wright doubled up, Jumbo picks him up and delivers a bodyslam, bad leg and all! COLE And are we going to see it already!? Jumbo, looking to end the undefeated streak with a real splash... an XL Splash, to be precise! Backing into the ropes Jumbo pumps his arm and goes for the XL SPLASH... ...BUT CHRISTIAN ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home! And maybe it was a little too early for Jumbo after all. COACH Eyes bigger than his stomach. Always been Jumbo's problem. Which considering the size of his stomach is quite a large problem. Jumbo comes up holding his knee after landing and Christian sees an opportunity. He climbs to the middle rope and with Jumbo still down and hurt, comes off with an elbowdrop from the second floor. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Despite the kickout, Jumbo is still prone. So Wright starts climbing the turnbuckles again. COLE Look at this, Christian Wright heading to the top this time. You don't see that often! Off the top, Christian flies and hits a Frog Splash!! He hooks the leg as best possible, trying to put Jumbo away... 1... 2... Kickout! Wright puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. COLE Jumbo kicking out, but that's about all. COACH Guess what... he's fallen... and he can't get up! Climbing the turnbuckles again Christian has the time to reach the top again, with Jumbo still struggling to pick himself back up. Able to roll over and start to reach his feet, Jumbo doesn't make it all the way, as Wright comes off with another Frog Splash, this time aimed at the legs, crashing down on the backs of Jumbo's knees!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jumbo groans in pain and reaches for his leg, but Wright is busy wrapping them up and applying, as best possible on a 440 pound man, a cloverleaf. COLE Looking for the Wallstreet Cloverleaf, but can he get it on Jumbo... he can! COACH Wow! Wright manages to lock in the Wallstreet Cloverleaf and sits back, pulling up on Jumbo's legs as much as he's able. At first Jumbo shakes his head no, despite being in clear pain. However after a good ten seconds in the hold and no sign of escaping, Jumbo eventually can take no more and gives up, to a satisfied smile from Lorelei. *DINGDINGDING* COLE Wow is right. Christian Wright advances! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring... "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHHRRIIIISSSTTIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRRIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Letting go of the submission Wright raises his hands to the skies as Lorelei rushes around to fetch him a microphone. The referee checks on Jumbo and his injured knee meanwhile, as CW takes the mic. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! The crowd boo as the increasingly confident Christian soaks in the grandeur of his latest win. COACH And if I'm a betting man, there's your next King of the OAOAST. A King, a God Child, a man to be looking up to.

As we come back to HeldDOWN, we find Biff Atlas, already in the ring, ready for a huge opportunity. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF... AAAAATTLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff raises an arm in the air, acknowledging the crowd. COLE Biff Atlas... could we soon be calling him "King Biff"? COACH No. "We're running with the Shadows Of The Night So baby take my hand, you'll be alright Surrender all your dreams to me tonight They'll come true in the end" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As the powering power ballad "Shadows Of The Night" by Pat Benetar powers through the area, I wonder where I left my thesaurus. But more importantly, Landon Maddix powers through the entrance doors with a grandious stride. Arms out-stretched he does a twirl on the stage, as Megan stands behind, hands on hips. BUFFER And his opponent. Being accompanied to the ring by his manager, MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL and one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Landon heads to the ring, stopping to allow Megan up the ring steps before him. Which would be gentlemanly, if it wasn't just so Megan could hold the ropes open as he spins into the ring. Throwing back his hair, Landon holds up his makeshift "8-Man Tag Title" belt with a big grin on his face. COLE So this is our final Qualifying Match for next week's King Of The Ring extravaganza, one spot remaining in the tournament. And no doubt, Landon would love to be there. But first he must beat Biff Atlas and whatever you think about Biff, Landon shouldn't be under-estimating him. COACH Why not? Is it possible to [i]under[/i]-estimate Biff? Estimating him at all seems like over-estimating, to me. Handing over his belt and ring jacket to Megan, Landon certainly looks confident as he stands across the ring from Biff. *DINGDINGDING* Landon offers to start the match with a handshake, to HOWLS of disapproval from the crowd. Biff doesn't look sure what to do despite the thousands of people yelling at him and decides to take the handshake. Sure enough, his reward is a boot to the gut. COACH Haha, the oldest trick in the book, Michael! This is gonna be an easy night for La Cucaracha, I can feel it. Even Landon can't quite believe Biff fell for that one and he shrugs. Backing Biff into a corner Landon then dishes out a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a second one. Big smile, Landon takes a moment to turn and perform a very regal looking bow, apparantly in the king's mood already. However when Landon turns back around, Biff surprises him by grabbing and then hurling him high into the turnbuckles! COACH Woah! COLE I think that one caught Landon a bit by surprise. Getting his head together, Landon dusts himself off and runs out of the corner, right into a shoulder tackle! Bowled over Maddix rolls underneath the bottom rope and wonders what the heck just happen as Biff is left standing tall in the ring. COLE I told you Coach. You take any opponent in the OAOAST too lightly and you're asking for trouble. Especially Biff, who's not been the same Biff we all know and despair of recently. COACH Yes he is. Once a loser, always a loser. Landon takes his time on the outside, talking things over with Megan and making Biff wait. He climbs back into the ring and this time looks for a lock-up. Unable to match power Maddix quickly goes to the gut again, this time with a knee, then hammers away at Biff with forearms. Irish whip is reversed though and Landon runs into another shoulder tackle. This time Landon doesn't go down. But only because the ropes keep him up, propelling him right back into another shoulder tackle which does knock him down. Cover by Biff... 1... 2... Landon kicks out and scrambles into a corner to get away. Biff is right on him though, clubbing Landon across the chest with a forearm in the corner. And a second. COLE Biff really laying it in. The scary thing is, I'm not sure Biff really knows his own power. COACH I'm not sure he knows a lot of things. With the five count long used up, the referee steps in to move Biff back. Biff wants to keep the pressure on though and brushes past the referee, falling into Landon's trap and getting dragged face-first into the middle turnbuckle by the tights! Boos ring out for Landon, as he stomps away on Biff in the corner before he too is backed up by the referee. COACH See Biff's strong and all. But so's an ox. And they don't call people "dumb as an ox" for nothing. As Biff picks himself up in the corner, Maddix runs in and delivers a leaping forearm smash. Biff staggers out of the corner and a simple legsweep puts him on his back for a pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout. Landon slaps on a chinlock, nodding his head with a confident smile. COACH This is a complete mismatch Michael. I know you're trying to sugarcoat it so people don't change the channel, see what's on Hallmark or whatever, but come on. You've got one of the smartest men in the entire OAOAST against one of the dumbest. It's a no-brainer... and I don't just mean Biff. Fueled by the crowd, Biff gets back to his feet. An elbow to the midsection rocks Landon. So does a second. But Landon cuts Biff off before he can get any more offence going than that, striking him across the back of the head, then attacking the back of the knees with a couple of kicks. Landon hits the ropes with Biff hobbled. Able to avoid a slam attempt Landon lands on his feet behind Biff and quickly hooks a neckbreaker, dropping Atlas's head into the knee instead of the canvas! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Letting him sit up, Landon drills Biff in the spine with a hard kick! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Hitting another kick, Landon turns around to reminstrate with the fans. Biff gets back to his feet, but Landon doesn't stay distracted long. He whips Biff into the ropes and catches him coming back with a picture-perfect Dropsault, forcing the fans to eat some crow. COACH Yeah, who sucks now!? COLE I don't think anyone can deny that Landon is a talented individual. It's just that his attitude and his personality sucks. Landon makes the cover, eventually... 1... 2... No! Back to the chinlock Maddix tries to wear Biff down some more. COLE And these Saskatchewans now trying to get behind Biff. They seem to be okay with the idea of Biff being their King, Coach. COACH Oh please. He'd be the worse King since King Of Queens went off the air. Biff fights back to his feet again and again makes his escape by going to the breadbasket. Elbowing his way out, Biff turns and hits the ropes. Landon tries to cut him off with a clothesline, but Biff surprises everybody by being quick enough to duck the line, coming off the far ropes and knocking Landon down with a running high knee to the face!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Biff scores with the knee! Is this the opening he needs? With both men down the referee lays a count in. COACH Come on Landon. If you lose this, you'll never live it down! The referee reaches a count of five before both men reach their feet. Shaking off the effects of the knee, Landon balls up his fist, ready to strike. But, Biff blocks and fires back with a right hand of his own! Landon tries again, blocked again and hit with another right hand! Biff starts to unload with rights, but stops to encourage the crowd, opening him up for a desperate knee to the ribs from La Cucaracha to cut him off. COLE Biff got a little too caught up in the moment there. COACH He's not used to beating people up, cut him some slack. Looking a little shaken up Landon turns and hits the ropes... and gets PICKED UP IN A GORILLA PRESS!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! Freaking out, a screaming Landon is slammed back down to earth by Atlas! COACH Oh no! Landon! Biff plays to the crowd again, this time with Maddix hurting on the mat, which is a little more opportune. Building up a head of steam Biff then waits for Landon to pick himself up on the ropes and comes charging... only for Landon to drop down, sending Biff flying over the top rope and to the outside!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" COACH :D COLE I don't know how much Landon knew about that, but it was a timely duck out of the way, that's for sure. And Biff looks like he hit hard. COACH He flew, Michael! He really does have superpowers! Landon takes the time to have a breather and clear his head while Biff lies hurt on the arena floor. Eventually he rolls out of the ring and throws Atlas back inside. Landon gives a thumbs up to Megan to show he's okay, then heads back into the ring, via the top rope. Pausing for dramatic purposes, Landon comes off the top with a double axehandle. But doesn't connect, Biff instead catching hold of Landon and delivering a Side Belly To Belly! COLE Here it is! Huge upset! 1... 2... Kickout! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, I thought he had him! Biff Atlas almost pulled off the upset of his life! COACH Would you quit being so bias? Out here, cheering for this goof. COLE If there's something wrong with routing for the underdog then there's something wrong with this crowd as well. COACH Well that's undoubtedly true. Up first, Biff comes off the ropes and knocks Landon over with a clothesline. Biff then looks around, realises he's actually on the verge of winning and signals for the end, unable to hide his surprise. Wobbly legged, Landon stumbles around into Biff, who grabs the former World Champion and throws him up onto his shoulders! COLE He's going for it! Can Biff put Landon away... No is the answer, Landon firing his elbow into the side of Biff's head until he manages to slip free. Shoving Biff in the back, Landon tries to catch him coming back off the ropes with a Superkick. Biff catches the foot though! Throwing it down Biff then tries to put Maddix up on the shoulder again. But Landon slips free again and with another shove in the back, runs Biff face-first into the turnbuckles. As Biff staggers back, Landon then spins him around and plants him face-first with a quick Complete Shot!! COLE Oh... Biff got caught. COACH About time his luck ran out. A dazed Biff tries to get right back up. Which proves his downfall, as he's lined up and SMASHED in the face with a Low Flying Superkick! Unfortunately for Biff he doesn't go down. Instead the superkick brings him up from one knee to his feet. So Maddix quickly hoists him up and delivers another shot to the face, with the GO 2 SLEEP!! COLE A devestating one-two combo. Landon Maddix, clinical in the end. 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* The fans let out a sound of great disappointment, as Biff is finally put down for three. Rolling to his knees, Landon can't hide the look of relief at first, but raises a smile when his hand is raised in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, advancing to the King Of The Ring Tournament... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIIXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Suddenly smug as can be, Landon takes a bow and celebrates his win. COLE So Landon Maddix completes the field of eight who will compete in the 2010 King Of The Ring, next week in Edmonton. It will be Landon, Christian Wright, Tim Cash, Colombian Heat, Thunderkid, Denzel Spencer, Christopher Patrick Allen and Baron Windels to crown the OAOAST's first official King and to reign supreme in the land of the OAOAST. COACH A pretty good lineup, if you ask me. There's at least... ooh... four men worthy of being kings. COLE No prizes for guessing who you think those four are, I suppose. Well whoever comes out on top next week will have to earn it, there's no question about that. A single elimination tournament, a test of attrition, that's next week and what a tournament it promises to be.

2 KOTR Qualifiers from me.

[b]2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Match ***CPA -VS- Shayne Brave w/Maya Blanchard-Duncan***[/b] A big disparity in size and strength faced "Showtime" Shayne in this one. That didn't dampen Shayne's enthusiasm and he took the fight to CPA, fast and furious from the opening bell. CPA was given the run around for a little while and almost caught out with a couple of pinning cradles. All it took was one, hard bodypunch to cut off Shayne though. From that point on CPA dominated. Slowly picking Shayne apart, CPA took his sweet time. And Shayne's only resistance was escaping a Dominator, only to miss with a twisting bodypress attempt off the top, leaving himself prone for the match-winning Gigaton Punch. [b]Winner[/b]: CPA, via pinfall [b]2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Match ***Detective Bosley -VS- Baron Windels w/Melody Nerdly***[/b] Both these men had tag team partners in the tournament already, but only one could join them. The opening exchanges saw the two powerhouses testing each other's mettle. A battle of shoulder tackles ended up even. And a test of strength was broken by Bosley, determined not to be out-MANed by anyone. The two agile bigmen went toe to toe for most of the match, both impressing. Bosley's springboard back elbow matches by Baron's flying lariat from the top in terms of impressive feats of agility. In the end, Bosley struggled to keep his Texan opponent on the defensive for any significant amount of time and eventually Baron started to get the motors going. A big Bulldog set Bosley up for the big Texas Lariat, but Bosley surprised Windels with a flying roundhouse and almost stole the victory. Not trying his luck with his brainbuster, Bosley instead tried to finish Baron off with the Justifiable Homicide (Unprettier). Baron shoved Bosley off and NAILED him with the big diving lariat though. After a series of reversals and a missed roundhouse from the crack Detective, Baron then scored with the Brigham Young Cocktail and advanced on to the King Of The Ring field of eight! [b]Winner[/b]: Baron Windels, via pinfall

I've got a rotten cold, so I'm going to push my stuff from last week back to this week instead. EDIT: That being 2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Matches Landon Maddix vs. Biff Atlas Christian Wright vs. Jumbo

KOTR Qualifying Matches Landon Maddix vs. Biff Atlas Christian Wright vs. Jumbo (unless that's a problem with Alf)

Before the first match, the situation regarding last week's King Of The Ring Qualifying Match between Tyler Bryant and Thunderkid was cleared up. A replay of the beating Tyler took from Bohemoth and Tommy G was followed by exclusive footage during the resulting commercial break, which saw Thunderkid's hand raised in victory due to forfeit. This meant that Thunderkid and Tim Cash were the first two men to have advanced to the tournament itself on February 25th. [b]2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Match ***James Blonde -VS- Colombian Heat***[/b] The night's first qualifying match pitted one quarter of the 8-Man Tag Team Champions against Colombia's contribution to the OAOAST. Eager to impress after his recent slump in fortunes, Blonde took the fight to Heat early on. But Heat was much more willing to fight when the going was rough than his opponent, who was sent packing pretty quickly. Blonde eventually gained the advantage on Heat after a game of cat and mouse. The Trendsetter focused on Heat's neck, working him over, but found the Colombian full of heart and refusing to go down. A missed middle rope fistdrop allowed Heat back into the match, a house of fire. He cleared the ring of Blonde again but this time caught Blonde by surprise, with a crossbody from the top rope to the arena floor! Back inside Heat got a close nearfall from a Bong Hit, then set up for the Colombian Necktie. Blonde landed on his feet, almost stealing the win with a schoolboy with more than a handful of tights. The end saw Blonde set up for Illegally Blonde, only for Heat to spin out and quickly deliver the Colombian Necktie to score the victory and advance! [b]Winner[/b]: Colombian Heat, via pinfall [b]2010 King Of The Ring Qualifying Match ***Denzel Spencer -VS- J-MAX***[/b] A high-flying encounter was in store between these two men. However, Denzel had enough respect for J-MAX's aerial ability that he tried to keep the match on the ground. J-MAX's speed shone through early on, until Denzel managed to connect with a dropkick to the knee and force J-MAX to the mat. The Heartland Champion worked on the knee, wrestling a smart match. A match which J-MAX had to fight hard to get back into. The first chance he got, J-MAX managed to send Denzel to the floor though, then quickly take him out with a somersault plancha. Hobbled slightly, J-MAX was unable to keep the speed up for long. Denzel caught him up top and somehow only got 2 from a Top Rope Hangman's Neckbreaker which dropped the masked Brit on his head. Not to be dettered, Denzel picked up his own pace. He almost got caught out by J-MAX, who scaled the turnbuckles on the run and looked for a moonsault. But Denzel caught him over his shoulder, turning it into the Carribean Compactor and picking up the win. [b]Winner[/b]: Denzel Spencer, via pinfall Which meant half the field for the 2010 King Of The Ring had now been finalised- Tim Cash, Thunderkid, Colombian Heat and Denzel Spencer.

King Of The Ring Qualifying Matches Tim Cash vs. Vinny Valentine Tyler Bryant vs. ?? If you can leave me a segment before the ME Patty, do so plz. Something might be a little late.

Backstage we go, finding ourselves in the locker room of Cucaracha Internacional. Sat on the edge of their expensiv, imported leather couch (none of this cheap American stuff for international stars!), Landon Maddix rests his chin on his hands, clearly deep in thought. Sat in the seat to his side his Nathaniel Black. Looky even grumpier than usual, as he's sat in this 'informal meeting', with Megan stood between the two. Presumably incase anything should happen. MADDIX I'm going to be honest... I'm a little disappointed. Black rolls his eyes, as Landon shifts in the chair, turning to Black. MADDIX Everything was going completely to plan. To the letter. We all went in knowing what we had to do and yet, all the hard work gets done, only for it to get screwed up right at the end. I mean, what the hell Nat? What happened? BLACK Well, I got thrown out. MADDIX No kidding. I mean, just a couple more seconds. [i]A couple more seconds[/i]. That's all you had to hang on for! Do you even realise how long I was in that Rumble? BLACK No. Landon pauses. MADDIX Me neither. But the point is, I was in there a long time, just like I knew I had to be. Sit it out until number 29. Take a break if I had to. Just wait it out safely. By which point you'd be in, Faqu'd be in and three on one we could toss everyone else in that ring over the top rope and settle things from there. That was the plan. What happened to you? You took your eye off the ball, Nat. You lost your concentration. And everything went, as you British like to say, "tits up" from there. If you were in the ring still, Faqu never would have been thrown out. I never would have been thrown out. One of us would have won that Rumble. Shaking his head, Landon slumps back into the couch, head in hands. He sits back up, confronted by the two bored faces and sighs. MADDIX Look... I know you don't like me. Okay? But this stubborn resistance of yours, to put any faith in me. This pigheadedness, this insistence in your head that you know best. Where's that gotten you? Huh? Where did that get you before I came along? Long, poorly paid tours of Japan. Obscurity in Europe. The whole reason you linked up with James and Faqu was solidarity. And the reason you guys linked up with me is because you knew I could take you to that next level. [i]My[/i] way. A tried and tested way. What were you thinking out there, huh? To lose your concentration like that. Were you thinking about throwing me out? Saw my back was turned and contemplated double-crossing me, because that would be [i]your[/i] idea of going to the next level. Is that it? Black doesn't answer back, staring right back at Landon. MADDIX You know what, I think you need to start trusting in me a bit more. Because I don't want to lose my trust in you. I know how good you are. How dangerous you are. But only if you're in on the plan instead of fighting against it. Think about it. Standing up, Landon leaves shaking his head, with Black continuing to stare forward grumpily. Stepping into Landon's shoes, or at least his spot on the sofa, Megan looks almost as unimpressed with the peptalk as Black does. But not completely. MEGAN Well? Were you? BLACK Was I wot? MEGAN Thinking about throwing Landon out. Black glares back at Megan and stands out of the seat. BLACK No. Although now, I'm startin' ta wish I 'ad. Saved someone else the bother. Black now leaves, giving the door a good slam on his way out and giving Megan more problems to mull over.

The groovy grooves of "Rock Your Baby" turn the arena into a makeshift disco, as Vinny Valentine enters into the dry ice covering the stage and starts busting some dated moves. BUFFER The following contest is a King Of The Ring Qualifying Match, set for one fall. Introducing first, from Brooklyn, New York. Weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "THE DISCO DUCK"... VVVVVVVIIIIIIIINNYYYYY VVVVVAAAAAALLLLEEEEENNTTIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Vinny disco dances his way to the ring, looking proud of himself and his discoing abilities. COLE The man who stole Biff Atlas's Lethal Rumble dreams this past Sunday, attacking Biff as he was about to enter the match. COACH Hey, remember the other week when we were talking about Biff holding the Lethal Rumble record, for least time in the ring? And how we were all like "well, at least he won't beat that this year"? COLE I don't remember saying that... COACH Well, guess what. HE DID. This year he managed to set the record of 0 seconds! What a loser! 3 Doors Down's "It's Not My Time" hits next and a much warmer reception greets Wrestling's Last Real Good Guy, Tim Cash. A warm reception which is given right back to the fans by Tim, who makes sure to give a warm, TWO-HANDED handshake to the fans as he passes down the aisle. BUFFER And his opponent. Hailing from Peoria, Illinois... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds. He is wrestling's last real good guy... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM... CCAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE So both of these men looking to make it to the one night, first ever OAOAST King Of The Ring tournament to be held February 25th, when we are in Nerdly Country, Coach! COACH Even I gotta be able to find some tappable ass in that city! There's hundreds of girls there. And since they're Nerdlys, they share one brain cell between them! COLE Just the kind of woman you like. COACH Preach on! *DINGDINGDING* As always Tim tries to start the match off on the right note, with a handshake. Vinny would rather dance though. Not letting being shunned get him down, Tim compliments Vinny on his dance moves before they lock up. COLE What a kind and curteous king Tim Cash would make. COACH Fuck that noise. Kings have gotta be ruthless, rule with an iron fist, command their kingdom and make peasants clean their feet. That kinda shit. Cash applies a side headlock, keeping Valentine under control. Raising his arm Vinny looks for a way out. And he starts to bust out the Saturday Night Fever John Travolta dance, distracting Tim long enough to escape into a hammerlock! Cash sees the funny side. Dropping down, Cash rolls through and counters with an arm wringer, into a wristlock, bringing Vinny down to the mat. COLE A fine technical wrestler is Tim Cash. Vinny V... that's not really his style. Climbing back up Vinny bides his time, waiting for an opening. Before finding it with a knee to the gut. COLE Well, there you go. Vinny lands with some right hands then sends Cash off with an irish whip. A duck of the head comes too early though and Cash counters with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! As Vinny kicks out, Cash clamps his legs together though and starts barrel rolling, bringing Vinny V with him for a nauseating ride!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE You spin me round, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round. After two circles of the ring Cash somes to a stop with the disorientated Vinny V back in the sunset position... 1... 2... Kickout! Valentine is quickly back up, but dizzy. He throws a punch, easily ducked by Tim. Concerned for his opponent Tim tries to stop the match and check if Vinny is okay. To which Vinny replies with another punch, also ducked. Angry at being patronised Vinny gets his head right and then lets out a shout, running at Cash with a double axehandle. With a go-behind Cash pulls him down with a schoolboy counter... 1... 2... No! COLE Tim Cash wrestling circles around Vinny V. Quite literally, actually. COACH The man's dizzy, what do you expect? This Cash makes out like he's a nice guy, then he uses tactics like that, making his opponent look stupid. That's not nice. That's mean. Vinny finally manages to cut Cash off, booting him in the gut. Clubbing away at the back Vinny then stops to dance for a second. Boos greet that, so he gets on with the match and hits the ropes. Cash ducks a clothesline and hooks the arms, looking for a backslide. Vinny fights it though... and then GOES LOW, out of the referee's line of sight! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Lowblow, just like we saw happen to Tim at AnglePalooza! COACH That's what happens to nice guys. They get taken advantage of. With Cash caught cold Vinny reaches back, dropping him with a Neckbreaker. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Vinny picks Cash back up, slamming him near the corner. Up to the second rope The Disco Duck then starts to break out some more disco moves up on the ropes, a prelude to a big elbow buried into the sternum of Gentleman Tim. Cover again... 1... 2... No! Dropping to his knees, Vinny slaps on a chinlock and tries to wear Tim out. COACH Could you imagine Vinny Valentine winning this tournament? He really would be the King Of Disco then! And not just because of that medallion he bought on eBay a couple of years ago that says as much. COLE The one that turned his chest green? COACH Are you accusing Vinny Valentine of wearing cheap jewellery? COLE Does he wear any other kind? With the support and friendship of the fans Tim is willed to fight back up. He goes to the midsection with an elbow. And another. And a third, breaking the hold. Off the ropes, Cash gets caught though and slapped into a Sleeper Hold by The Disco Duck! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Turn down the lights, baby! Tim starts to fade quickly, but realises he's in trouble and gets out. He shoots Valentine into the ropes with a shove in the back and turns the tables, hooking on a Sleeper of his own!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Caught him! The shocked Vinny flails around, flopping like a fish caught in the old school Sleeper. Before he can be put away though Vinny finds the presence of mind to back up, falling into the ropes to gain a break. Tim immediately lets go, not using a second of the referee's count to commit extra, illegal damage. Instead he whips Vinny to the ropes. Cash ducks his head and Vinny reads it, trying to make him pay with a Swinging Neckbreaker, only for Tim to turn it all the way around into a Backslide!! COLE Could have him! 1... 2... NO! Valentine jumps up and goes for a clothesline, but Tim ducks. With a waistlock he runs Vinny into the ropes, looking for a rollup. Vinny hangs on though and as Cash rolls through to one knee, Vinny puts on his BOOGIE SHOES!! COLE OH! Could this be a BIG win for Vinny Valentine!? Cover by Vinny... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Not quite! COACH C'mon Vinny, stay on him. It's not over until the disco ball stops spinning! As Vinny waits for Cash to get back up, suddenly a cheer goes up for BIFF ATLAS!! COACH Oh, what's this moron doing out here!? Biff jumps to the apron and tries to get into the ring, but the referee holds him back. Which leaves him wide open for Vinny V, running him off the apron with a hard knee to the side of the head!! COACH :D COLE Poor Biff just got rocked. Happy with his work Vinny disco dancing, looking down at Biff laid out at ringside. Nodding to himself, Vinny then turns around... and gets CRACKED in the back of the head with an Enziguri! Vinny flops to the mat and Tim wastes no time, cradling the legs and slapping on the MIDWEST SLING!! The crowd go wild, as it takes Vinny no more than a couple of seconds to give up, tapping like a drunk man!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING* COACH Ah, come on! You're going to take that Tim? Gimme a break. Tim quickly lets go of the hold and celebrates, big smile on his face. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, advancing to the 2010 King Of The Ring Tournament... "GENTLEMAN" TTIIIIIIIMMMMM... CCAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Tim shakes the hand of the referee before it's raised in victory. COLE Tim Cash makes it to the King Of The Ring tournament with a big win here on HeldDOWN. COACH At least you didn't call him "Gentleman Tim", or "Niceguy Tim". You have your opponent distracted, then you hit him from behind? That's what counts as being a gentleman these days? COLE That's no worse than Vinny Valentine attacking Biff from behind on Sunday. As the saying goes, do unto others as they'd do unto you. And Vinny V just had it done unto him tonight. Justice from one half of Citizen Soldiers! COACH Ah, baloney. Despite being dazed, Biff is ready to go back into the ring and attack Vinny V again. However Tim Cash holds Biff back, convincing the simple minded Atlas to do the right thing and leave Valentine be. So all that are exchanged are words, Vinny V not happy at Biff's part in his loss and Biff still seething about his former partner's actions.

[b]***Bohemoth -VS- Brett Gerrard and Corey Lee***[/b] Rare boos greeted Bohemoth on his entrance to the ring. No longer referred to as The Meterosexual Monster by the ring announcer, the bigman was simply all business in this handicap match. The youngsters put up against him were allowed to be in the ring together at the same time, but it made no difference, as Bo fought off their early attack and started laying them to waste with clotheslines and big boots. Lee was almost snapped in two by a Cobra Clutch Backbreaker, Gerrard knocked senseless by a running Yakuza Kick. Making short work of his opponents Bohemoth then laid out Lee with the Spinebuster, slammed Gerrard on top with the Catatonic and pinned both at the same time. [b]Winner[/b]: Bohemoth, via pinfall After the match Bohemoth decided to send a further message, by picking both his young opponents up and throwing them both over the top rope to the floor, one after the other. Bohemoth stood tall and looked down at the damage he caused. Before leaving, without any explanation for his actions two weeks ago. ----------------------------- [b]Not Good Enough To Be In The Rumble Six-Man Tag ***Charlie Moss, Simon Singleton and Shayne Brave w/Molly Nerdly, Jade Rodez-Duncan and Maya Blanchard-Duncan -VS- Synth Abdul Jabbar, James Blonde and Danny Boy w/Holly, Abdullah Abir Nerdly and Queen Esther***[/b] A consolation prize for these six men who's partners were allowed into the Lethal Rumble at their expense. A high-proifle six-man tag team match on Syndicated! ...well, it's something. Simon and Synth started things out, a preview of their two teams Anderson Cup contest this week on HeldDOWN. Everybody got a piece of the action early on, with the interesting collection of managers and valets making it a crowded match inside and outside of the ring. Synth's team eventually gained the advantage, after cutting off Shayne. Some of the teamwork was patchy. But made up for by Abdullah, who got in a few shots whenever possible from the outside. Team Synth kept Shayne isolated for most of the match but it was some indecision between Blonde and Danny Boy, an errant clothesline and then an accidental avalanche in the corner, that allowed Shayne to tag in Singleton. Maya cheered on "Uncle Simon" from the outside as he cleaned house. When the three on one became too much, Moss then came up to help the B.O.S.S out. As things broke down, Abdullah climbed to the apron, trying to distract Moss. Which earned Abdullah a fist to the face! Moss then got into it with Holly, which allowed Synth to attack from behind. They spilled outside and tensions boiled over, leading to Moss and Synth taking their fight up the aisle and brawling off out of sight. That left it down to two on two. That made Blonde and Danny Boy's teamwork no better than before. Their attempted double suplex on Simon was countered by Shayne, who pulled his teammate down to safety for stereo dropkicks on their opponents. Sending him outside, Shayne took care of Danny Boy with a suicide dive. Leaving Simon Singleton alone, to finish off Blonde. Which he did, polishing him off with the Clapboard Legdrop. [b]Winner[/b]: Charlie Moss, Simon Singleton and Shayne Brave, via pinfall

I stuck Lindsay/Morgan in, btw.

Backstage we found Biff Atlas and Tim Cash discussing their chances of winning the Lethal Rumble Match on Sunday. Poor old Biff, he didn't seem so convident. Tim tried his best to give Biff some confidence and even offered that if they should come down to the final two, he'd throw himself out so that Biff could win. "Really?" asked Biff. "Well... no I just thought that would cheer you up hearing that... I'm nice, but I'm not that nice." replied Cash. As they walked along they happened upon Maggie Nerdly, who was having some problems adjusting an overhead light on her interview set, due to her small stature. Ever the gentleman, Tim reached up and with a little help from Biff, nudged the light into place. Maggie thanked them both and as they went on their way, Biff seemed confused at how pleased that made him feel. Tim remarked that "yeah, there's no nicer feeling than knowing you've helped someone in need". Which, for some reason, Biff seemed to think long and hard about as they continued walking.

I got a Bohemoth squash and some other stuff I'll throw together, which may or may not be matches, to build up the Rumble.

Relax, my match has arrived. Maybe more to come, we'll see. Couldn't seem to get going this week.

Lethal Rumble Qualifying Match Leon Rodez vs. ??? Maybe a Bohemoth match too. Dunno.

Back in her office, Josie Baker can be seen in conversation on her cellphone. Not heard. Eavesdropping is rude. As this unheard phone conversation goes on, Josie starts to feel like she's being watched and glances up. Emerging out of the shadow of the open door, Leon Rodez slowly walks towards the desk. JOSIE Something's come up. I'll call you back. Josie hangs up and looks a little worried, but stands her ground as Leon approaches the desk and leans over, knuckles pressed against the wood. LEON I've been waiting all night for you to find me a window to talk to me. JOSIE I've been busy... LEON Well, now you can find some time in your busy schedule and listen to me, because it won't take long. I want, my shot, at the World Title. JOSIE We've been over this, time and time again Leon. You're not getting another shot yet. You need to get in line and wait your turn. Leon scowls at Josie, who again stands her ground in the face of it. LEON Wait my turn. I knew you'd say that. Because you've got something against me. JOSIE Like the fact that you and your little girlfriend have tried to threaten physical harm on me if I don't give you what you want? Leon, drop the parranoia and the persecution complex. I'm treating you no differently than anyone else on this roster. A smile forms on Leon's face. LEON I knew you'd say that too. Funny. See, I want my shot at the World Title. But I know that for whatever reason... bitterness, resentment, personal enjoyment... [i]fear[/i]... you're not going to give me what I want. That's fine. I'm used to not getting what I want from life. But, if you really are "treating me no different from anyone else" like you say... you'll do what you've done for everyone else... and you'll put me in the Lethal Rumble. And then, I can fight for my World Title match. Just like I've had to fight for everything worthwhile in my life. JOSIE Interesting. Well, how about this. I'll let you in the Lethal Rumble... Josie smirks back at Leon now, knowing she's got him. JOSIE ...but, you have to fight for it, by winning your match next week. If you do, you're in. If not, no luck. Not liking this idea, Leon seethes and leans further over the desk, but Josie doesn't flinch and just raises her eyebrows at Leon. JOSIE Did you know I was going to say [i]that[/i]? Leon glares at Josie for a few second, before cursing under his breath and storming back out of the office. Taking a relieved sigh, Josie picks up the phone and hits re-dial.

As we return to HeldDOWN~!, "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats plays. And to a surprisingly warm reaction Biff Atlas heads to the ring, deep in concentration. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, from Bloomington, Indiana. Weighing one hundred, ninety nine pounds... JACK O'REILLY!! The youngster flicks back his long black hair and raises a fist. BUFFER And his opponent, from Venice Beach, California... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFF AAAATTLLLLLAAAAASSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff climbs into the ring and stands in his corner, fidgeting back and forth on his toes. The referee goes to check him over for weapons, which is made difficult by Biff's inability to stay still. COLE The OAOAST Galaxy really warming to Biff Atlas, especially since the break up of he and Vinny Valentine. And Biff looks amped up and ready to go tonight. Will he be as amped up on January 31st, when he's a part of the 30 Man over the top rope Lethal Rumble Match? Biff doesn't have a great track record. But, maybe this will be his year! COACH What!? Get outta here with that talk! *DINGDINGDING* As the bell rings, Biff suddenly goes through a strange transformation. Letting out a loud roar he muscles up and marches a surprised O'Reilly right back into the corner, clubbing him with hard shots! Biff continues to club away until the referee moves Biff back. COLE Biff just laying it in on his opponent here tonight! A new Biff Atlas, we're seeing. Biff grabs O'Reilly and whips him out of the corner across the ring. Following him in, Biff then knocks O'Reilly off his feet with a clothesline in the opposite corner! COACH I don't care how impressive Biff looks, or how "new" you say he is. He's still a loser. And he [i]doesn't[/i] have superpowers! Lifting O'Reilly back up, Biff clubs away in the corner some more. Whipping O'Reilly back across the ring the loveable oaf then tries for another clothesline, but runs into the raised knee of the youngster. With Biff staggered, O'Reilly then hits a quick neckbreaker and goes for the pin... 1... 2... No! O'Reilly slaps on a rear chinlock, knee pressed into Biff's back. COACH Now, hold up. Did you say earlier that Biff had a "bad track record" in the Rumble? Wanna expand on that? COLE Well... Biff Atlas does hold the record for quickest elimination in Lethal Rumble history, lasting 9 seconds last year... COACH That's better. COLE ...but, I'm telling you, this is a different Biff. Especially compared to last year, when Biff was lucky not to be eliminated by spotting his own shadow and diving over the ropes to try and escape. With the support of the fans Biff fights back to his feet and turns into O'Reilly, breaking apart his hands to escape the chinlock. Booting him in the gut, Biff lays into O'Reilly with a right hand. A second. And a third. Biff then backs off the ropes, but O'Reilly ducks a clothesline and dropkicks Biff in the back, sending him through the ropes to the floor with a thud. COACH Ha! That's a great omen, huh? COLE Except he went through the ropes, not over the top. COACH Gee, that's progress. Biff picks himself back up and seethes to himself as he drags himself onto the apron. A knee from the inside softens him up, O'Reilly looking to bring him back in with a suplex. And does, floating over with a cover... 1... 2... No! "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" "LET'S GO BIFF!" The Chicago crowd make themselves heard. Including by Biff. O'Reilly delivers a shot to the back, which Biff absorbs. And a second, also having little effect. O'Reilly keeps on trying. But Biff isn't feeling a thing and climbs back to his feet, shaking his head and the shocked rookie. Trying to cut Biff off, O'Reilly goes for a boot. But Biff catches it, spinning O'Reilly around and walloping him with a clothesline! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Here comes Biff! Grabbing O'Reilly, Biff delivers a headbutt. He then whips him to the ropes and delivers a big SPEAR, turning O'Reilly inside out!! COLE Oh what a spear! You'd think he could break through a solid brick wall, with that kind of super strength! COACH So you're encouraging him now? Great. With his opponent curled up in a ball holding his ribs, Biff looks around the crowd, still a little surprised that they're cheering him. And who could blame him I guess. Picking O'Reilly back up, Biff lifts the youngster up onto his shoulders. Biff lets out a shout, then turns and throws him off, hitting the DVD/Michinoku Driver of no name... 1... 2... 3!!!! COLE And that'll do it. Biff looking impressive. *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBIIIIIFFFF... AAAATTLLLAAAASSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff stands back up and looks a little surprised again, obviously as used to winning as he is being cheered. He raises his hands in victory all the same. COLE Are we looking at the winner of the 2010 Lethal Rumble? COACH What is WRONG with you!? COLE Stranger things have happened. COACH No they haven't. They really, really haven't. Biff marches back up the aisle, even slapping a few hands on the way.