King Cucaracha
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Posts posted by King Cucaracha
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1 in!
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BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall... and it is for possession of the OAOAST Money In The Bank briefcase! [COLOR=purple]"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..."[/COLOR] The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, to a solid chorus of boos from the crowd. All sense of home state pride goes out of the window. No-one in Michigan wanting to admit pride in their own Leon Rodez, who skulks through the entrance way with his head down and a determine expression on his face. COLE Welcome home, Leon Rodez. Leon slowly makes his way down the aisle as the song meanders along. Around his right wrist, handcuffed, hangs the Money In The Bank briefcase in his stolen possession. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon looks up at the skies with a scowl on his face as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. [COLOR=purple][b][i]"I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!"[/b][/i][/COLOR] BUFFER Introducing first. From Grand Rapids, Michigan! Weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Grasping the briefcase in both hands Leon climbs up the steps and enters the ring. Looking out at the crowd Leon shows disdain, not just for the people, but for the reaction he's on the end of. COLE These people once idolised Leon Rodez. These people more than any other. Once upon a time, it was normal to be proud of this young man. Not anymore. There's nothing to be proud about, regarding his actions as of late. Not least, the Money In The Bank briefcase, that he [i]stole[/i] at AngleMania IX in a Ladder Match that he wasn't even a part of. Tonight, Leon has the chance to actually [i]win[/i] that briefcase. But it comes against the man who's hands he essentially stole it out of... A huge orange pyro rocket erupts on the stage and "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy hits. The TV audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans down to reveal Baron Windels, Tag Team Title belt around his waist, throwing up the longhorns! BUFFER And his opponent! From San Antonio, Texas... weighing two hundred, sixty eight pounds. He is one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... "THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAAAAARRRRROOOOOOONN... WWWIIIIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEEELLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Baron reaches out and tags some hands on his way to the ring, not hometown but certainly more of a hero than his opponent. He makes his way into the ring and casts a disapproving look over at Leon, before turning to the crowd and throwing up the longhorns again. Baron removes his Tag Title belt and hands it to the referee, looking focused. COLE It's been a big month for Baron since AngleMania. He rebounded big by winning the World Tag Team Titles the very next episode of HeldDOWN~! And, where this gets really interesting... if Baron can win tonight and get the briefcase that would have been his in Las Vegas if not for Leon's treachery, then he has a contract for a shot at the World Champion... who, just happens to be his tag team partner, Mr. Dick. Before the match can start Charles Robinson is worried about the briefcase, still handcuffed to Leon Rodez. Producing a key from his kneepad, Leon eyes both Baron and Robinson carefully as he prepares to unlock his stolen property from his possession. COACH Guess Leon figures now he's got his match, he's safe handing the case back. COLE Well thankfully Leon had the sense to bring a key with him. I'd like to see him try and wrestle with a briefcase hanging from his wrist. As Leon unlocks the handcuffs, Baron goes over to his corner as Robinson takes the briefcase... COLE Wait, LOOK OUT! ...only for Leon to snatch it back and CLOBBER BARON IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH IT!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Damnit, Leon using that briefcase as a weapon! Baron didn't see it coming! And I think Baron may have been busted open! Under a real interrogation from the referee, Leon barely pays a bit of attention as he picks the briefcase back up and hands it over, damage done. Robinson gets the briefcase out of the ring and checks on Baron, who is down, while Leon calmly walks over to his corner as if nothing happened and waits. Baron tries to get back up and is indeed bleeding from over the eye. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" The words of his home crowd have no more of an effect on Leon as the referee's words, a blank look on his face as he waits in the corner. Robinson meanwhile shows concern for Baron and asks him if he wants to continue with the match or not. Baron, open wound and all, using the ropes to pick himself up and is determined to carry on. COLE And this is going to put Baron Windels at an immediate disadvantage. He's already busted open and the bell hasn't even rung! COACH Which means the ref can't do anything about it. Perfect. *DINGDINGDING* With Baron insisting he's okay the match finally starts and it starts with him being ambushed in the corner! Leon stomps Baron back into the turnbuckles, before targetting the cut with some hard right hands! Charles Robinson drags Leon off of his wounded opponent and warns him about the closed fists, to another blank stare. COACH Leon better watch himself now. I think this referee would love nothing more than to disqualify him. COLE Can you blame him!? Baron picks himself back up again, putting up his fists ready to fight. Picking his spot, Leon delivers a boot to the gut to cut Windels off and then drives a forearm into the side of head. Baron falls throat-first over the middle rope. Pressing him in, Leon then reaches over the top and starts DIGGING at the cut with his fingers!! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Breaking before five Leon backs away, not wanting to push his luck with the ref too far. COLE Leon is a man on the edge. A desperate man, desperate to be the World's Heavyweight Champion again. As Baron picks himself up by the ropes Leon takes aim and comes running in with a dropkick, catching Baron in the back and sending him through the ropes to the floor. Baron lands on his feet, slumped over the ring apron. So Leon follows him outside, taking a run down the apron to blast Baron in the head with a sliding kick!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Baron lays hurt against the steel steps, while Leon rolls back in under the bottom rope and demands that the referee start counting. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And Leon is going to take this win any way he can get it! COACH Why not? A win's a win here, whatever it takes to get that briefcase for keeps. Screams of "COME ON BARON!" come from the stands, the Detroit crowd willing the big Texan to get back in. COLE Can you imagine Josie's reaction if Leon wins this match, via a [i]countout[/i]? Leon hangs back and watches Robinson's count reach 5, with Baron still looking dazed on the floor. The Texan suddenly shakes off the cobwebs though, starting to pick himself up. Leon's head sinks a little. And as Baron stumbles over to the apron, beginning to climb back in at the count of 7, Rodez abandons the plans to get a cheap countout and grabs hold of Baron. Facelock applied, Leon tries to suplex Baron back in... but Baron blocks. COACH Uh oh. Trying again, Leon can't get Windels up, causing his mood to sink even lower. And things get a lot worse very quickly, as suddenly Baron lifts up Leon for a suplex, before proceeding to throw him BACK inside! Leon lands face and stomach first with a groan, to cheers from the crowd. COLE Counter by Baron! And now, can Baron get himself back into this match? After a moment to collect himself Baron heads for the top turnbuckle. He waits for Leon to get back up, then looks for the big flying Lariat... ...but Leon hits the deck and Baron crashes and burns!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE No, nobody home! That may have been a crucial mistake by the bigman from San Antone. Leon quickly crawls over and hooks the leg on Baron... 1... 2... No! Leon jumps right back up and puts the boots to Baron, giving a cold stare to referee Charles Robinson as he tries to move him back. COLE And now Leon, back in control. Baron clearly still feeling the effects of that pre-match attack with the briefcase, missed with the high-risk move. A big gamble by Baron. And it didn't pay off. Waiting in the corner, Leon lines Baron up and delivers another sliding kick to the head, setting him up for another pinfall attempt... 1... 2... No! Leading Baron up by the arm Leon dishes out a couple of kicks to the ribs. Wringing the arm, he then places his foot underneath Baron's jaw, falling back and hitting the Soul Destroyer! Baron grabs the side of his bloodied head as he's forced down for yet another cover... 1... 2... No! Another kickout and this time Leon shows his frustration by swiping at the mat. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" COLE That little show of petulance from Leon has got this Detroit crowd on his back again. COACH I'd like to think that Leon's past the point of caring about these morons. But, getting booed in your hometown, that can't be fun. I wouldn't know, I'm essentially a god in Kansas, but I imagine it'd suck. Hands on hips Leon stalks around the ring, glare fixed on the fans. Baron gets back to his feet and manages to block a right hand, firing off with one of his own! Which only increases the noise in the arena. Leon throws another right, but Baron blocks again and fires back. So Leon rakes the eyes, then doubles Baron up with an MMA style knee strike to the stomach. COACH Boy, Leon put everything he had behind that. Baron's eyes practically fell outta his head! Baron drops to one knee, winded. By the hair, Leon drags the big Texan back up to run his face into the turnbuckles. He then rears back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and dishes out a knifedge chop... which seems to wake Baron up a bit. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another chop connects and Baron stands bolt upright, with rage in his eyes. LEON (dejected) Goddamnit... Resigned to his fate, Rodez tries a right hand anyway, but Baron is again equal to it and starts to unload with big Texas sized rights of his own! Four, five, six right hands connect backing Leon to the middle of the ring. Baron then whips Leon back towards the corner and delivers a running clothesline! COLE Oh yeah, Baron! That adrenaline is flowing! Baron gives a call to the crowd and whips Leon all the way to the opposite corner. Charging in Baron then shins up his metal ass... ...AND MISSES! Leon dodges the ass bump in the corner and Baron leaps straight into a nasty collision with the turnbuckles! As he staggers out, Leon quickly hooks Baron up and executes a vertical suplex, floating over into the pin... 1... 2... No! COACH A little too much adrenaline, you reckon? COLE Well if there's anyone in the OAOAST who's capable of being a buzzkill, it's Leon Rodez. And he killed Baron's buzz dead right there. Not getting worked up over the count this time Leon clubs on Baron as he brings him back up. Whipped to the corner, Baron is then struck with the Superman Spear! COLE Leon [i]does[/i] connect in the corner. Baron then falls into the clutches of The Fallen Idol, looking for an Exploder Suplex. But not having much luck. Baron delivers elbows to break free and falls back into the corner, drawing Leon into a raised boot to the jaw! COLE Ever since that pre-match bloodying, Baron has struggled to get any sort of momentum. But he's not going to quit on you, that's for damn sure. Shaking off the boot, Leon goes in with his shoulder to drive Baron back into the turnbuckles. A couple of thrusts with the shoulder soften Baron up and put Leon back in control. As he goes for an irish whip though, Leon is reversed on by Baron. The Texan lets Rodez get only as far as arm's length, before reeling him back in like a lasso, getting underneath Leon and launching him face-first into the top turnbuckle!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But maybe that will turn the tide for big Baron! COACH He still looks wobbly Cole. Don't get your hopes up. As Leon stumbles out of the corner, Baron comes off the ropes and leaves his feet to deliver a BIG clubbing Lariat!! COLE BAM! Baron scores big with the Lariat! COACH Okay, maybe get your hopes up after all. Both men are down after that collision but it's Baron shows signs of life. He reaches out for the support of the crowd, while Leon is just lifeless in the centre of the ring. "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" As Robinson lays the count on, it's Baron to his feet first at the count of five. Leon is up a moment or two later, but immediately on the recieving end of some Texas sized right hands. After a flurry of shots, Baron whips Leon into the corner, hitting a clothesline. Baron then whips Leon to the other side of the ring and forces him to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!! COLE A little ass action, at the second time of asking! COACH If only it were that easy in real life. COLE Huh? COACH Huh? Leon stumbles out and walks into a Sidewalk Slam, Baron hooking back with the leg... 1... 2... NO! Rolling outside, Baron goes over to the corner and heads to the top rope again. COLE Another high risk from Baron. Will it pay off this time, or is this going to be another wasted roll of the dice? Baron reaches the top and throws up the longhorns to the Detroit crowd as he waits for Leon to turn around. Shaken up, The Fallen Idol does spot Baron and he turns around... right into the diving Lariat from the top!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE This time, It's Clobberin' Time! Cover by Baron... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Baron takes some issue with the count, thinking that was it. COLE Just a half second away from Baron finally getting the Money In The Bank briefcase that he truly deserves. Whipping Leon into the ropes Baron sets himself and scoops Leon up, only for Leon to slip out of his grasp in mid-air. Landing on his feet, Leon quickly hits a back elbow, dazing Baron. With a 360 Leon then goes for a rolling sobat to the gut. But Baron deflects the boot away with his bare hands and catches the off-balance Michigan native with a hard right that has the Michigan crowd roaring. Baron then whips Leon back into the ropes and floors him with a Big Boot to the face! COLE Things are starting to come together finally for Baron Windels. Has he put it together when it counts? COACH Well, we thought that at AngleMania. And look what happened then. Baron waits for Leon to get up, ready to strike. Which he does, with a boot to the gut, setting up for the Brigham Young Cocktail. But as soon as Leon feels the facelock lock in he drops to one knee and clings onto Baron's leg desperately to block the move. COLE Baron going for it but Leon's got hold of the leg, like a toddler clinging onto it's mommy! After his attempts to shrug Leon off don't work Baron lets go and starts clubbing away at the back. Finally he prises Leon off of him, sending him crawling away for an escape. COLE Well Leon, obviously had Baron well scouted there... As Baron follows after Leon, The Fallen Idol suddenly springs to life and catches Baron with a flapjack, dropping him throat-first over the top rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH And Baron didn't have Leon well scouted there. Stalking the reeling Baron from behind, the sinister Rodez lies in wait, waiting for Baron to turn around... and BLASTING him in the face with a Superkick!! Baron stumbles and Leon follows it up with a back suplex, looking for the cover... 1... 2... NO, ONLY TWO! Leon puts his hand on his head and runs them down his disbelieving face. "LET'S GO BA - RON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO BA - RON!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Glaring at his hometown crowd Leon suddenly fixes himself on Baron. He watches as the Texan starts to get back up and with a cold stare, he takes aim. COLE LOOKIT~! Lookit the look in the eyes of Leon Rodez! COACH Kill time! Baron gets to one knee, shaken. And Leon uncoils with the ONE HIT KI... ...NO! Baron ducks the foot! Coming up from his one knee Baron scoops Leon up in his arms and throws him across the ring with a Fallaway Slam!! COLE The Devil's Addiction, on the OAOAST's most devilish star! And now, Baron looking to put Leon away! Loading up with the arm Baron waves Leon back up, then hits the ropes. He takes aim and charges at Leon, who just has the presence of mind left to drop to the mat. Unfortunately, referee Charles Robinson doesn't do the same. And the result is a head-on collision which he doesn't come out on the better end of. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH! Referee Charles Robinson goes down, wrong place wrong time for him. As Baron checks on the referee, Leon tries to capitalise. Baron catches him with a Big Boot though and instinctively goes for a cover, for which there's no ref to count. COACH Wrong time for Baron too. Shoulda watched where he was going. Baron goes back to trying to revive the referee as a figure rushes down the aisle. Unfortunately not another referee, but instead MORGAN NERDLY, running down to check on Leon. COLE Uh oh. Somebody please get her out of here. No good can come of this. COACH I agree. Someone gonna get zapped up in here, or something. With no signs of movement from the referee Baron gives up and goes back after Leon, but turns around to find Morgan instead. Realising she's in an awkward position, the shivering girl stands her ground, trying to protect Leon. Baron orders her out of the way, but Morgan continues to stand in the way, just long enough for Leon to recover and leap out from behind her with an MMA knee! Baron buckles, as Leon rears back and delivers another knee... and another... and a third, bringing the big Texan down to his knees. Wiping the sweat from his eyes, Leon then turns to Morgan and gives her the orders, to hold Baron in place. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Hang on a minute. This is two on one, this is ridiculous! Morgan pins Baron's arms behind his back, as best someone of her diminuitive size can on a man so back. Taking his sweet time, Leon looks out at the booing crowd as he walks into position, then sets himself. But Baron has plenty of time to break free of Morgan and lunge out, punching Leon in the stomach! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE So much for that plan! Back up, Baron tees off on Leon, as Morgan looks on in shock. COLE Baron dishing out a Texas sized beating here! And all Morgan can do is look on. She ought to get out of there. COACH Yeah, Baron's not above hitting a woman I bet. A big right is ducked by Leon, but he runs right into a back elbow shot. As Leon stumbles back, Baron then turns and hits the ropes. Coming back, he then leaves his feet again with the big Lariat... ...and clobbers [b]MORGAN[/b], WHO GETS PULLED IN THE WAY BY LEON!!!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" COACH SEE! SEE! COLE Di... did Leon just... Baron looks shocked at who ended up on the recieving end of his clothesline and makes the mistake of stopping to check on Morgan, allowing Leon to creep up behind and BOOT HIM BELOW THE BELT!!!!!!! COLE LOWBLOW! I... Falling to his knees, Baron is then lined up... and BLASTED with the rolling sobat to the face!!! COACH One Hit Kill! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Looking a very relieved man, Leon shakes out the cobwebs. He looks over at Morgan, then notices the referee stirring. And without a hint of worry for her condition, Leon drops down and start to logroll her motionless body out of the ring. ALL the way out of the ring, under the bottom rope, until she hits the arena floor with a splat! COLE Are... are you kidding me here!? Don't tell me Leon is going to steal the briefcase again! Like this!? Leon turns away from Morgan and with the referee coming to his senses, he drops down and hooks the leg on Baron... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Woah, ho ho ho! COLE Leon Rodez has robbed the Bank... AGAIN! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Here is your winner, of the 2010 Money In The Bank briefcase... LLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" [i]Almost[/i] cracking a smile, Leon sits up with sheer relief on his face. He quickly rolls over and crawls towards the timekeeper's side of the ring, DEMANDING the briefcase be handed to him. And the moment it is, he snatches it to his chest and bails out of the ring. COLE It's highway robbery, again, from Leon Rodez! An ambush before the bell, sacrificing the referee, sacrificing the one person in this entire world that seems to genuinely care for him... there were no depths that Leon would not sink to, in order to leave his home state with that briefcase! None! Retrieving his handcuffs, Leon's immediate concern is to get the briefcase secured back around his wrist, as soon as possible. The jeers of the crowd ring closer in his ears but he has complete tunnel vision with the briefcase, which once snapped around his arm he drags away like a thief in the night. Only stopping to scoop up the lifeless body of Morgan Nerdly and drag her away in his other arm. COLE Leon Rodez is a desperate man. And a desperate man, capable of doing desperate things, is a dangerous man to be holding that guaranteed contract, with his name on it. COACH I tell you what, if you want a reason [i]not[/i] to be the World Champion right now... that might just be it. Leon hauls out the briefcase and the lifeless Morgan, as in the ring Baron is attended to by the referee, still unaware of what just happened to him.
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Hey hey hey, look who's using the interview lounge while Patty ain't lookin! [img=http://www.purethenightclub.com/venue/main4.jpg] Unfortunately, two of the people in the lounge look like they'd rather be anywhere else in the world. Stood either side of OAOAST correspondent guy Tony Brannigan are Colin Maguire Jr. and Spencer Reiger, the LDC Moneygang. And, yes, they're still dressed against their will in their embarrassing women's clothing. Spencer's Hello Kitty top clearly put on in quite a rage, all wrinkled and not even on straight. Poor Colin still in his schoolgirl's outfit. BRANNIGAN As you can see we're back here in the interview lounge. And guys, before we get started, I just want to ask one thing... even though you're dressed for it, no Coyote Ugly routines tonight, please. This isn't that kind of bar. Spencer fumes at the cheapshot and tries to put a lid on it. SPENCER Let me tell you something Brannigan, you're lucky we like you or else you'd soon regret making wisecracks. Clearly not bothered about annoyed the Moneygang, T-Bod chuckles to himself and lets Spencer take the microphone. SPENCER You see, me and Colin, we're just about at the ends of our tether here. We've had to put up with wannabee comedians like you for damn near 30 days now, making fun of us. Do you realise what a miserable month this has been!? Do you!? Let me tell you what a miserable month it's been. Let me talk about how Krista and Alix [i]somehow[/i] managed to make sure this stupid stipulation of theirs is enforced 24 hours a day!! Brannigan stifles a laugh. SPENCER Oh yeah! Twenty four hours a day, Brannigan! The OAOAST trot us out on TV to cut a promo with your washed-up ass, or sends us out to the ring to wrestle a match, dressed up like a couple of cheap whores. Everyone gets a cheap laugh. But no, that's not enough. We walk around backstage and guys are wolf-whistling us, they're making smart-ass remarks. I got goosed three times! That ain't enough of a humiliation for the LDC Moneygang! Let me explain it for everyone. We've had to go to the gym dressed like this. If we wanted to do grocery shopping? We have to dress like this. Do you realise how embarrassing it is to go and fill up with gas while the wind's up if you're wearing a skirt!? Because I do! Me and Colin have been laughed at in the street. Everywhere we go, there's assholes with camera phones trying to take a picture of us. If I get re-tweeted one more picture of me in this damn skirt I'm gonna scream! We've been made practically house-ridden because we're too ashamed to go out in public. I live in NEW YORK CITY for crying out loud! This has been the worst 30 days of my life! BRANNIGAN I can imagine. Now, Britney, anything to add to that? Colin just stares at Brannigan contemptfully, almost too embarrassed to even move for fear of showing off more flesh than he wants. COLIN We've had enough. April 30th, we get tah take this gahbage off for good. Krista and Alix... they did this to us. They made us look like jackasses. Well come May, there's hell to pay. We're gonna take 30 days of frustration out on the OAOAST. Don't matter who it is. And somewhere down the line, we're gonna take it out on Krista and Alix, bet yer ass on that Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Well, that'll be next week and I'm sure the fans will be very sympathetic towards you guys when you return. One more thing before you two go off and powder your noses... where's Lorelei at? And Moneymaker? Seems like ever since this whole forfeit happened, they haven't been at your side. Don't tell me they're embarrassed to be seen beside you two. Still seething, Spencer looks like he'd love nothing more than to punch Brannigan right in the mouth, but also realises he's wearing a skirt and a Hello Kitty top and looks ridiculous. SPENCER Grrgh. Spencer groans to himself and just walks off, defeated, with Colin not far behind. BRANNIGAN Hey Colin, nice panties. Hurriedly pulling his skirt down Colin storms off and Brannigan has a good laugh to himself. COACH What a professional. COLE Ah, come on. If you can't laugh at that, what can you laugh at?
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COLE Let's send it back to Josh Matthews with Josie Baker, for a big announcement. Ready and waiting in her office, Josie stands behind her desk with clipboard in hand. Josh, obediently there with microphone in hand. JOSH Ms Baker, we understand you've got some big news in regards to next week's big event in Detroit. JOSIE That's right Josh and I'd like to take this opportunity to remind all our fans who aren't lucky enough to be able to join us live from Detroit, to watch it as it happens, live on TSM. Now, for our fans who will be in Detroit, there is some good news and some... well, sort of good news. I guess. First, the good news. I've had Lorelei DeCenzo and Theodore Moneymaker pestering me, complaining about the disrespect that they think the LDC Moneygang have been put through as of late. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is their own fault. If they dislike wearing women's clothing so much, perhaps they shouldn't have accepted the stipulation from Chicks Over Dicks. But, I digress. The Enterprise want the OAOAST to compensate them for, what they claim is, "irreperable damage to their marketing image". Well, the OAOAST are happy to pay The Enterprise... [i]and[/i], give them a chance to repair some of the damage done to their credibility. And they have been given the option to do it in Detroit by showing up and wrestling Detroit's own, D*LUX. Unfortunately, Spencer is refusing to compete again until after his 30 days are up. So, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker will be filling in for him. Seemingly impressed, Josh nods. JOSH Okay, so Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker versus D*LUX next week. What about the... uh, 'not so great' news? JOSIE Well, that would involve another of Michigan's "finest". Leon Rodez. Bitter at the very name Josie scowls down at her clipboard a little. JOSIE Seems like there's a whole queue of people lined up at more door lately, all waiting to be the next to cause me trouble. And Leon is right at the front of the queue. See Leon has essentially stolen from me, he's stolen from the OAOAST. And now he's trying to hold me to ransom, in order to keep that stolen property. It's not going to work. I could easily go through the proper legal channels to make sure that if Leon doesn't uncuff that briefcase from his wrist and hand it over as he has been asked, he'll never get within 100 feet of a wrestling ring to even cash his little contract in.... JOSH But, you're not going to? A little annoyed at being called on this, Josie gives Josh a sharp look. JOSIE I [i]could[/i]. But, I have a better idea in mind. You see, the OAOAST weren't responsible for Leon not having a match at AngleMania. Leon was the one who walked out. If he had wanted that Money In The Bank briefcase so badly, perhaps instead of sulking and running away, he could have fought for it. Not once did I try and keep him out of that match. My problem isn't with Leon Rodez holding the Money In The Bank briefcase, no matter what conspiracy theory he's dreamt up in his mind. My problem and the OAOAST's problem is that he didn't earn it. However, we can solve that. If Leon wants to keep the briefcase... all he has to do is win it. Josie smiles to herself. And, presumably, to Leon, assuming he's watching. JOSIE And all he has to do to win it is to beat the man who's hands he stole that briefcase out of at AngleMania, the real "victim" in this sorry mess, Baron Windels. One on one, in Detroit. Satisfied with her work, Josie sets the clipboard down. JOSH Uh, before we go Josie, do you have any comment about the current situation regarding the backstage turmoil between Anglesault and Za... Josie quickly sticks a hand up and cuts Josh off. JOSIE I will have [i]no[/i] comment to make on that situation and there will be no comment of it on my show. Now, please see yourself out. Realising he's overstepped his mark, Josh quickly skulks off.
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That's cool man.
Even if you can just stick around to do the odd PPV match here and there like you said, maybe use Syndicated for any occassional stuff you'd need in between, that'd be great. There's no point in feeling pressured into doing more than you can. After all, this is just a recreation. Finding a schedule where you can stick with this thing and enjoy it without feeling any pressure is in everyone's best interests really. Just ease off, do what you're comfortable with before you start hating the sight of us!
And obviously all the non-show stuff like the title histories and adding feedback is always much appreciated.
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Remember how I promised promos last week?
Promos.
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[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3knYqEJ0wY"]"Skills"[/url] by Beatbullyz hits and as the crowd begin to clap along to the beat, the masked figure of J-Max heads out through the entrance. Followed by another masked figure, clad in pink. Wearing his sombrero and poncho, Mariachi does a sexy grind on the stage, while J-MAX heads to the ring trying to play along with his unique partner, without actually... well, "playing [i]with[/i] him". BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, total combined weight, three hundred fifty pounds... the team of "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" J-MMMMAAAAAAAAXXXXX... and, his tag team partner, MMMAAAARRRIIIIIAAAAACCHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" J-MAX vaults into the ring with a springboard moonsault, landing on his feet to a cheer. The two masked men salute the crowd, Mariachi's eyes wandering towards his partner's well-toned body. COLE What an exciting tandem this should be. The high-flying J-MAX and the always entertaining Mariachi! COACH Always entertaining, you say? COLE Yeah. He likes to have fun! And hopefully Mariachi is starting to move on with life without his former partner, in the ring and out, Moracca. COACH [i]In the "ring"[/i], you say? As the masked men limber up, "The World Is Mine" by David Guetta pumps through the arena. And to their eternal embarrassment, out walk the LDC Moneygang, Colin the schoolgirl and Spencer in his Hello Kitty tanktop, skirt and heels. BUFFER And their opponents! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... total combined weight, four hundred thirty pounds... SPENCER REIGER and the OAOAST United States Champion COLIN MAGUIRE JR. ... THE L D C MMMOOOOOONNEEEEYYYY - GGAAAAAAAAANNGG!!!!! No boos. No jeers. That would be great for LDCMG right now. Instead, [i]laughter[/i] fills the arena. Colin looks ready to slaughter somebody while Spencer is mortified. Meanwhile, in the ring, Mariachi's eyes are practically bulging out of his mask and... well, something else may be bulging out of somewhere else, if you know what I mean. COLE Somebody pinch Mariachi, let him know he's not dreaming! As they approach the ring, Spencer attempts to climb onto the apron. The cameraman promptly goes for an UPSKIRT SHOT and Reiger flips his shit at him, the Moneygang chasing the cameraman away! COLE :D Oh, lord! COACH This is horrible. Two of the finest wrestlers in our sport, being reduced to this. I mean, for god's sake, Colin is the United States Champion of this company and he's dressed up like a schoolgirl!! Composing themselves, Colin and Spencer climb to the apron. And once he gets a good look at them, Mariachi promptly FAINTS and takes a bump! SPENCER ...that's it, we're outta here! The LDC Moneygang jump back down off the apron and decide the match isn't worth their time or embarrassment, so head to the back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" J-MAX isn't going to let that happen though and sprints up the aisle to catch them, ramming the Moneygang's heads together! J-MAX then brings Spencer back to the ring and throws him back inside, allowing the ref to ring the bell. *DINGDINGDING* Beginning to stir, Mariachi gets up as Spencer tries his best to stand up without exposing his underwear. COACH Behind you, Spencer! Look out, you're wide open! Literally! Spencer gets to his feet bitching out the referee, before slowly realising that Mariachi is behind him. [i]Close[/i] behind him. Spencer freezes in fear as Mariachi starts playing around with his skirt and whispers something in his ear! COACH Oh my God. Whatever was said, Spencer doesn't appreciate it and wheels around with a right hand. But Mariachi ducks and LIFTS UP SPENCER'S SKIRT!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH AAAHHH!! COLE Spencer Reiger just became New York's Finest Flasher! Freaking out Spencer runs away, coming back off the ropes with a big clothesline. Mariachi ducks the line and sweeps out Spencer's legs. As Spencer tries to roll over and protect his modesty he ends up on all fours and Mariachi jumps on, riding Reiger and shouting "HELLO KITTY!" with some slaps on the ass to get Spencer moving!! COACH Somebody stop this. This is awful! COLE This is great! Mariachi must feel like all his Christmases have come at once! Spencer manages to buck Mariachi off of him and having had more than his fill of the embarrassment, tags Colin in. But Colin, understandably, doesn't want to come in. Mariachi waves him on, practically licking his lips. COLE Come on in, Colin. Join the fun! Nervously, Colin steps into the ring and tries a simple lock-up with Mariachi, who scares him off by making kissy-faces. COACH I hope Chicks Over Dicks are proud of themselves right now. COLE I'm sure they are. As they go to lock knuckles Colin surprises Mariachi with a boot to the gut, then piefaces him to the mat, angry at being made a fool of. Colin starts obsessing over his schoolgirl outfit though and doesn't notice J-MAX tagging in. As he turns around, Colin is hit with a Springboard Crossbody! 1... 2... No! J-MAX hits the ropes, ducking an elbow from Colin and catching him with a Spinning Wheel Kick! Another cover... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm, J-MAX takes control with an armbar, armdragging Colin to the mat with it. Colin trying in vain to close his skirt. COLE J-MAX is taking CMJ to school right here! COACH (deadpan) HA HA HA HA HA. Vintage Michael Cole. Colin gets back to his feet and catches J-MAX with a knee. And a second one. Free of the armbar, Colin then takes J-MAX to the corner and rams him into the turnbuckles. Tag is made and the Moneygang double-team, stomping the masked Brit in the corner and releasing some of their frustrations. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There ya go. You've gone and made them mad now. Spencer and Colin ain't gonna take this kind of humiliation lying down. Make 'em pay boys! Dragging J-MAX out of the corner, Spencer scoops and slams him in the middle of the ring. Fuming, Spencer glares over at Mariachi and out at the crowd before he hits his Measured Kneedrop. Cover... 1... 2... No! Spencer drags J-MAX up with a hold of the mask again, making another tag. The US Champion dishes out a couple of Irish uppercuts, then whips J-MAX to the ropes and cuts him down with a back elbow. Cover by Colin... 1... 2... No! Rear chinlock applied by Colin, he and Spencer trying to ignore the crowd as they start to WOLF-WHISTLE at them! COLE The LDC Moneygang trying to focus on the task at hand here, which has to be extremely hard considering they're dressed up in short skirts. COACH Exactly! This isn't just humiliation. COD are trying to ruin their livelihood with this stupid stunt. COLE Well, it's hard to feel too sorry for them. They did bring it on themselves... and it is kinda funny. J-MAX gets back to his feet and starts to fight out of the chinlock, ramming elbows into the exposed stomach of CMJ. Once free, J-MAX quickly snapmares Colin over. He comes off the ropes and looks for a basement dropkick, but Colin moves out of the way! First to his feet Colin is then able to hit a quick boot and deliver a DDT, to the concern of Mariachi. COACH Here's where COD got it all wrong though. The Moneygang's quality will shine through. Great moves like that are great moves, no matter what you're wearing. Colin rolls J-MAX over and hooks the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Another tag is made on the LDC side and Spencer comes in, stomping J-MAX down. COACH How about we ask J-MAX how humiliating it is to get beat down by a dude wearing a skirt? Spencer whips J-MAX into a neutral corner of the ring, hard. Angrily adjusting his ill-fitting ladies top Spencer then comes charging in... and runs into a knee! With Reiger staggered, J-MAX quickly hops onto the middle rope and hits a Blockbuster Neckbreaker to the despair of CMJ! COLE Oh, SNAP! Both men are down, but suddenly J-MAX leaps up and makes a diving tag to Mariachi! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Colin comes in to try and cut Mariachi off immediately, but Mariachi ducks his clothesline and starts chopping away at Colin's chest with overhand chops. Another CMJ clothesline is ducked and as he comes back off the ropes, Mariachi is waiting with a BUTT bump to the face! Out rolls Colin, but Spencer is back up and jumps Mariachi from behind. COLE Mariachi full of energy, but he needs to keep that wandering eye of his on the man in the ring. Whipped to the ropes Mariachi ducks underneath a shot from Spencer and tries for a crucifix. But when that doesn't work, he turns it into a sunset flip and pulls The Prodigy down... 1... 2... NO! The LDC are getting frustrated now, another wild swing going right over the head of Mariachi. With Spencer off balance Mariachi grabs him in a rear waistlock and hits a PENIS THRUST FROM BEHIND!! More embarrassing than painful, but it does cause Spencer to stumble forward while Mariachi comes off the ropes, catching Spencer turning around with a crossbody! 1... 2... NO! COLE The Moneygang are all over the place here! And what an upset this would be if J-MAX and Mariachi could pull this one off. Caught with a boot, Spencer is sent into the ropes. Mariachi waits and leaps up, hoping to catch Spencer on the way back with a Frankensteiner... but Spencer counters and FOLDS Mariachi up with a kneeling powerbomb!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Great counter! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Angry, Spencer turns Mariachi over and rains down right hands to the head until the referee drags him off and warns about the closed fists. Spencer vents back at the ref, giving Mariachi a chance to escape. COLE Look out, tag made. COACH Turn around Spencer! When Spencer finally turns around he's left looking up in shock, as J-MAX frontflips off the top and wipes him out with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton!! 1... 2... NO!! Spencer staggers back up and walks right into a jump spinning back kick, right under the jaw! Down he goes, allowing J-MAX to position himself and follow up with a STANDING CORKSCREW MOONSAULT!! COLE Whatamove, count him ref! 1... 2... SAVE BY COLIN!! COLE Whoo, how close was that? The LDC Moneygang a split second away from defeat if Colin hadn't been alert. Colin beats on J-MAX with forearms but the Brit bites back, laying into Colin with a couple of jabs. With Spencer back up J-MAX fends off CMJ with some kicks to the body, then cracks both Spencer and then Colin with a hard kick to the quadracep. Both of the Moneygang are hobbled and J-MAX hits the ropes with both in his crosshairs, only for Colin to step forward and cut J-MAX off, snatching him up for a HARDVARDPLEX!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" The force rolls J-MAX to his feet for Spencer to follow up with a BRAINBUSTER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Playtime's over, baby! COLE What a brutal pair of suplexes. All fired up the Moneygang start shoving each other in the chest, trying to psych each other up a bit. COLE And the Moneygang have suddenly pulled their act together, it seems. As Spencer runs Mariachi off the apron, Colin uses a short whip on J-MAX to reel him in and hang him across the top rope with the Cambridge Curse!! J-MAX lays hung over the top but is hauled right back off his feet by Colin, who hands him over to Spencer. COACH Here we go! Together, with Colin still holding the legs and Spencer with the head, the LDC Moneygang turn J-MAX over. Colin holds him in a wheelbarrow, while Spencer hooks up the arms. And with a determined look on their faces, the LDC proceed to SPIKE J-MAX on his head with a devestating SPIKE REIGER COUNTER!!! Spencer flips J-MAX over and presses him into the mat while Colin aims a hard boot at Mariachi to send him back to the floor again... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... THE L D C MMMOOOOOONNEEYYYY - GGAAAAAAAAANNGG!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Still seething and breathing heavily, Colin and Spencer have their hands raised in victory as they scowl at the crowd, almost daring them to laugh now. COLE This was no walk in the park for the former World Tag Team Champions. They almost, [i]almost[/i] slipped up here tonight. But ultimately, once Colin and Spencer were finally able to get their heads in the game, they did enough to come away with the win. COACH With the odds stacked against them. You take away their concentration, forcing them to wrestle in women's clothes. You try and turn them into a laughing stock. Well, The LDC Moneygang are nobody's laughing stocks! And Krista and Alix ain't gonna keep these guys down forever. Spencer kicks up some dust on J-MAX before he leaves, the Moneygang still worked up over their women's attire as they walk back up the ramp.
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LDC Moneygang vs. J-MAX and Mariachi
And some promos.
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[b]***Malaysia Nerdly -VS- Jessica Haynes***[/b] An easy and, of course, enjoyable night of things for Malaysia. The OAOAST's most dominant straight female made light work of her out-matched opponent. Not quick work, though, Malaysia opting to drag things out after having the match seemingly won within the first 20 seconds. Malaysia stretched and beat on Jessica, soaking in every second. Only difference being, the crowd seemed to enjoy it as much as she did. Eventually Malaysia put poor Jessica out of her misery with a hard powerbomb, turned into the Inverted Boston Crab for the submission. [b]Winner[/b]: Malaysia Nerdly, via submission [b][color="#000080"]***[size=3]James Blonde w/Faqu -VS- Danny Boy w/Scottish Scott[/size]***[/b][/color] The main event pitted The Cucaracha Kingdom's "Prince Of Panache" against one half of the team exiled from the Kingdom, The Last Kings Of Scotland. Fighting for the King's pride Blonde came out of the blocks quickly. And, failed, miserably. Danny Boy beat the tar out of Blonde for the first few minutes of the match, taking out some of his frustrations on King Landon's second in command. It took a desperate hangjob across the top rope to get Blonde into the match. At which point, the panache took over. Blonde preened and posed at every opportunity, preventing him from actually beating Danny Boy, merely having the upperhand for a while. The mohawked Scot predictably came back. At the finish, all hell would break loose. Blonde managed to lowbridge Danny Boy outside. But when Faqu started to move in to attack, Scottish Scott squared up to the Samoan and the two bigmen began to brawl around ringside! This massive battle brought out TONS of officials to try and break it up. With little success. All this served as a distraction to the match itself, until after a minute or two of non-action, Danny Boy rolled in, spun Blonde around and delivered a Back To Front Tombstone Piledriver to pick up the victory! [b]Winner[/b]: Danny Boy, via pinfall With the match over, the task at hand became seperating the two wild savages at ringside, the crowd urging the officials to let them fight and Syndicated going off the air before any order could be restored.
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Me!
Danny Boy vs. James Blonde, plus a Malaysia match
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COLE Tonight, our main event, Denzel Spencer against [i]King[/i] Landon Maddix. And it was just about two months ago, Landon Maddix pulled the royal carpet out from under the Jamaican to become the King Of The Ring. [QUOTE="2010 KING OF THE RING FINAL, OAOAST NERDLY SPECTACULAR"]With a hold of the legs Landon falls back with a slingshot, sending Denzel towards the turnbuckles. Denzel lands on the second rope though, unbeknownest to La Cucaracha! Megan waves at him to turn around and when he finally does Denzel springs off the second rope, twisting in mid-air and nailing Landon with a flying lariat!! DENZEL C'MON!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Those were some "big ups" from Denzel, as the kids say! Queen Esther, who had been quite into the match up until now, seems a little distracted now as the fans go wild. Denzel is all fired up and whips the crowd into an uncontrolled frenzy as he waits for a seemingly helpless Landon to get back to his feet. COLE And now Denzel is calling for it, Denzel looking to put this one away and cap an amazing night for him! As Landon picks himself up Denzel is ready and waiting, going to the gut with a kick. Landon doubles over dramatically and Denzel comes off the ropes, looking for the Scissors Kick... ...BUT SUDDENLY HAS HIS FOOT GRABBED BY QUEEN ESTHER!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE What the hell!? Denzel looks as bemused as anyone and tries to snatch his foot back, as the Queen clings on for dear life. He finally does pull away and stares down in confusion, as the referee turns away from Landon and does the same, not seeing enough to issue a disqualification. COLE What was that about? COACH Don't look at me. Turning back to the match Denzel blows Queen Esther off and turns around... ...but gets picked up and BLASTED WITH THE GO TO SLEEP, OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!! COACH BAM! GTS! COLE Denzel was distracted by Queen Esther! And now, the Go To Sleep... you've gotta be kidding me! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE And Landon Maddix has done it! Landon Maddix is the King Of The Ring! COACH ALL HAIL! *DINGDINGDING* The fans are up in arms as Landon rolls over with a look of amazement on his face and punches the sky! "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays to herald the new King, who looks set to explode he's so happy. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of this contest... and... the 2010 OAOAST [b]KING[/b] OF THE RING... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Landon doesn't know what to do with himself he's so excited, looking around in amazement. There's a brief moment of confusion as he catches sight of Queen Esther, but he's too excited to get distracted for too long and starts to celebrate.[/QUOTE] COLE Well tonight, the chance for redemption for Denzel Spencer. It's King Of The Ring versus the Heartland Champion. Revenge on the mind of Denzel, more gold in the eyes of the King And that is our main event, here tonight in our nation's capital.
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BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall and it is for the OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPIONSHIP!! "Parade Of The Charioteers" trumpets out through the arena and there's a revolt in the stands as the King heads to the ring! Booed by his public, King Landon extends his hands to the skies as golden sparks fall behind him and his Queen! BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER!! Hailing from the Kingdom of Madrid, Spain... he weighs two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of the CUCARACHA KINGDOM and one third of the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... The 2010 OAOAST King Of The Ring ... KKIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGG... LLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... MMMMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The King and Queen link arms as they walk to the ring, waving obliviously to the fans. As they reach the ring Landon holds the Queen's hand on her way up the steps, Esther holding the ropes open for the King to spin himself and his purple robe into the ring theatrically. Landon disrobes, revealing a similarly regal purple and gold version of his old tights. COACH And lo, the King did look swank as all hell. COLE A chance tonight for Landon Maddix to win his first singles gold in two and a half years. COACH Hold up. One, he's been concentrating on building an Internacional empire and now a Kingdom. Two, the last belt he held was the World Title. And three, he's the King Of The Ring. Bow down, show some proper respect. COLE ...I wasn't trying to criticise. As King and Queen parade around the ring, they're rudely interrupted by "Master Blaster (Jammin')". To a much warmer reaction, Denzel Spencer bounds out and sets off the green and yellow pyrotechnics before heading to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent. From Montego Bay, Jamaica... weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds. The reigning and defending OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEEEENNZZZZZZEEEEEEELLLLLL... SSSSSPPPEEEEEENNCCCEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" As Denzel slides into the ring, Landon and Esther take a powder and talk things over from the safety of the arena floor. COLE Denzel, who was involved in that hellacious Money In The Bank match at AngleMania IX. And what a hellacious move he put on his old rival Sandman9000 in that one... a Carribean Compactor, off the apron, through a [i]ladder[/i]. You have to wonder if Denzel's back to 100% yet. COACH Doesn't matter. He'll need to be 150% to beat the King, at least. The referee takes the title belt from Denzel and holds it up for the fans. He asks Landon to come back inside for the pre-match rituals, but he declines. COLE You know, he could do that same move to Landon tonight. No disqualifications in the Heartland division. COACH Does the King know about this!? *DINGDINGDING* Finishing up their conversation, Queen Esther kisses King Landon on the hand before he enters the battle. COLE Shouldn't that be the other way around? COACH Shush! Landon strolls up to Denzel with a big smile on his face. The Jamaican responds by cracking the King across the face with a slap! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" To the delight of the crowd Denzel unloads on Landon with a flurry of right hands in the corner. Landon gets beaten down to a seated position and Denzel wheels away, fired up, spotting Queen Esther nearby and shouting something at her too. COACH You don't shout at the Queen! How dare he! Denzel picks Landon up in the corner, dishing out a european uppercut. And another one. Irish whip is reversed on Denzel though, sending him towards the turnbuckles. Denzel leaps onto the middle rope to save himself, then fakes on a leap backwards, causing Landon to dive for cover! Unaware that Denzel is still on the ropes King Landon taps his temple, until his Queen urges him to turn around and Denzel connects with a flying crossbody!! 1... 2... Kickout! Trying to cut Denzel off, Landon runs right into an armdrag! Headlong, he then runs into a second armdrag! The King is smart enough to learn his lesson and turns away from a third armdrag. But again he points to his head instead of concentrating on the match and when he turns around, Denzel is waiting... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop! COACH Be strong, Landon. Strong like a King! *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHH!" COACH Dangit. *SLAP!* "AAAAAAHHHH!" As the King yelps in pain Denzel grabs him by the head, running him face-first into the turnbuckles. The Jamaican scales up and plays to the crowd... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" Denzel milks the tenth punch though and gets picked up, backdropped over the top rope. Landing safely with both feet on the apron, Spencer sends his shoulder through the ropes, catching the King in the stomach. Landon staggers away and Denzel goes to the air again, springboarding to the top. The King takes a step backwards though and catches Denzel in the ribs with a dropkick as he lands! Cover... 1... 2... No! COLE Well that actually was a smart move by Landon. And for once, he didn't follow it up by pointing to his head and gloating. COACH Yeah, hopefully he can put that right in a second or two. Taking advantage, Landon stomps away on Denzel, then sits him up and cracks him with a kick to the spine. Denzel writhes in pain and King Landon takes the time to pantomime a bow for the crowd. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There, that's better! Denzel picks himself up in the corner in this time and is waiting for Landon, firing a boot into his gut. And a second one. Turning the tables, Denzel places Landon in the corner and dishes out some more right hands, then goes for a whip. Maddix reverses though and Denzel hits the turnbuckles hard. The King gets a smile on his face, but then runs right into a raised boot! Up to the middle rope, Denzel is grabbed before he can capitalise, dragged off the ropes with a hard landing on the back of his head! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" Coming over, the Queen offers some encouraging words to the King and he turns around to cover Denzel... 1... 2... No! This time it's Landon to the middle rope, measuring Denzel before bringing a clubbing blow down across the back of the head. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE And here in our nation's capital, no love being shown for the would-be monarchy! King Landon tries not to get worked up by the chants. Queen Esther however, forced to cover her gentle ears. Whipping Denzel to the ropes Maddix busts out a Dropsault, cramming back the words of some of the fans. Leg hook... 1... 2... Kickout! COACH How can these people boo and taunt such a great, noble athlete? Pulling the Champ back up Landon dishes out some forearms, backing him against the ropes. After a little téte a téte with the referee Landon then tries for a whip, but is reversed by Denzel. Coming back, Landon manages to float over a scoop attempt, landing on his feet behind the Jamaican. A mule kick by Denzel doubles the King up. But as Denzel hits the ropes, Landon follows him in and rocks him with a forearm smash right on the rebound! COLE Landon was right on Denzel's tail with that one! With Denzel dazed, Landon drags him out into the middle of the ring. Setting up a neckbreaker he falls to one knee, dropping Spencer's head across the other! Cover... 1... 2... No! King Landon puts his hands on his hips, with a disapproving look at the referee. COACH Watch yourself pal. You want to spend a night in the dungeons? COLE Landon doesn't [i]have[/i] a dungeon, does he? COACH He's a King! Of course he has a dungeon. All kings have dungeons. What a stupid question. Fed up, Landon exits the ring and heads for the timekeeper's table. But he stops when Queen Esther applauds him and gushes over his abilities, making Landon too guilty to even think about grabbing a weapon. So he goes back inside and stomps on Denzel some more. COLE Not sure what Landon was thinking there. Maddix picks Denzel back up and whips him into the corner. Pointing out to the Queen he then runs in, hitting a leaping forearm smash! COACH Alright King! As Queen Esther looks on approvingly, Landon steps onto the middle rope. He soaks in the boos of the crowd as he waits for Denzel to turn around, coming off the second rope with a Front Missile Dropkick!! Practically giddy at this point the Queen jumps up and down as Landon goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Looking even more frustrated, King Landon rolls out of the ring and this time makes it to the timekeeper's table. He grabs a chair and starts to turf out the timekeeper, only to catch sight of his Queen again. Seeing her pride, he SHAKES THE TIMEKEEPER'S HAND, then picks up a bottle of water and takes a healthy swig before getting back in the ring. On the way he gives the Queen a thumbs up, but seems secretly annoyed. COACH Ah, nothing like a quick break for refreshments. COLE And that was [i]nothing[/i] like a quick break for refereshments. Landon was looking for a weapon. And for some reason, he changed his mind. COACH Slander! Treason! The King doesn't need any weapons, he's no thug, like those traitors he had kicked out of the Kingdom were! As Landon goes to pick Denzel up again, the Jamaican springs to life and shrugs off Landon to hit a right hand! Another one! And another! Firing back on the King, Denzel whips him to the ropes and hits a high spinning back elbow, getting the crowd on their feet! Suddenly the Queen is looking on with shock, as Denzel connects with a high standing dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE I think Landon could use a weapon right about now! Whipped into the corner Landon is hit with a corner body splash and staggers out into the middle of the ring. On the hop, Denzel catches the King ducking his head and pulls him down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Back up, Landon throws a wild right hand and is caught in a crucifix! 1... 2... No! The King backs into a corner and tries to lure Denzel in, but the Jamaican catches his foot. Throwing it down, he unloads with right hands, before whipping Landon across the ring. King Landon avoids danger by floating up and over out of the corner though. COACH Ah-ha! As Denzel turns around, he gets caught with a boot to the gut. Pleased with himself, Landon takes a moment to relax before whipping Denzel off the ropes. This time it's Denzel who floats out of a scoop slam attempt though, landing on his feet. Quickly, Denzel hooks Maddix in a waistlock, running him into the ropes. Hanging on, Landon counters the roll-up and as Denzel tries to roll through, he gets caught with the LOW FLYING SUPERKI... NO! Denzel dodges and catches Landon with a schoolboy rollup!! COLE Denzel was ready for it this time! 1... 2... Kickout!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Scrambling back up, Landon runs right into a leg lariat! Another cover. 1... 2... No! Rolling out of the ring Denzel doesn't waste any time like his challenger, heading for the timekeeper's table and bringing in a steel chair. QUEEN ESTHER :O COACH Look at this cheat! COLE It's all legal, Coach. Landon had his chance to grab a chair and he didn't. COACH Yeah, because he's a man of nobility and morals, unlike Denzel! Sliding back in Denzel waits for King Landon to get back up, the Queen protesting from the outside. Denzel lines Landon up and attempts to crown him with the chair... but Landon ducks! Spun around from the force of his own swing Denzel is left off-balance and Landon quickly kicks the chair back up into his face!! COACH HAHA! Beautiful, King! Beautiful! As the chair goes flying, Landon capitalises, driving Denzel face-first with a quick Complete Shot! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Landon gets back to his feet... and suddenly, the chair slides right into his toe, courtesy of Queen Esther! COLE What happened there, Coach? COACH Magic. That's all the approval the King needs from his Queen and he smirks as he picks up the steel chair, waving Denzel back to his feet. As soon as Denzel is up Landon then rears back and takes a big swing with the chair... DUCKED! And Landon finds himself up on Denzel's shoulders in the process! Eyes bugging out, the King wails out in terror as he's spun around in the dreaded AIRPLANE SPIN by the Heartland Champion! COACH Somebody help the Queen, I think she's going to faint! Delicate women like her get dizzy real easy, you know. After about six revolutions Denzel sets King Landon down. Wobbly legged, Landon still has the chair in his hands. Unlucky for him, as Denzel DROPKICKS THE CHAIR BACK INTO HIS FACE!!!! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by Denzel... 1... 2... NO! Picking the chair back up, Denzel sets it in the middle of the ring. Grabbing Landon by the hair he then rams him face-first into the open seat a couple of times, leaving him dazed over the chair. COLE Welcome to your throne for the evening, King Landon. Off the ropes Denzel then leaps, looking to Scissor Kick Landon down into the chair... but Landon moves out of the way! Picking Denzel up in a fireman's carry the King then positions him near the chair, drawing worried boos from the crowd. COLE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! COACH GTS on the chair! But as Landon throws Denzel up, the Jamaican miraculously manages to turn it into a VICTORY ROLL!! 1... 2... NO!! COLE OH how close! What an amazing counter from Denzel, unbelievable body control! Both men are up and Landon kicks Denzel back towards the chair, then takes a run up. Denzel ducks his head though and backdrops the King right over the chair! Holding his back, Landon picks himself up and Denzel sets himself. He hits the ropes, then uses the chair as a launchpad to throw himself at the King... BUT LANDON DUCKS!! Denzel flying forearm goes astray and he lands throat-first on the middle rope, bounced back up to Landon who hooks on an inverted facelock and hits the LANDON EYE!! COLE A miscue from Denzel! And are we going to crown a new Heartland Champion!? 1... 2... KICKOUT! The King pouts and paces around the ring, hands on hips. "DEN - ZEL!" "DEN - ZEL!" "DEN - ZEL!" "DEN - ZEL!" Bouyed by the crowd, Denzel starts to pick himself back up. Landon kicks the chair aside and lies in wait for the Jamaican. When, suddenly, he notices JAMES BLONDE rushing to the ring, carrying the SCEPTER! COLE Wait a minute, what is this goofball doing out here? COACH Goofball!? That's the Prince Of Panache! COLE Exactly! Blonde gets Landon's eye and then tosses in the scepter, giving the King the thumbs up! Landon returns the favour... but, although the thumb stays up, the colour slowly drains out of his face as he looks up behind Blonde, to see THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND on the stage... and NATHANIEL BLACK in between them!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Oh no! SECURITY! GUARDS! SOMEONE! Frozen in shock for a moment, Landon suddenly spots Denzel back up and turns around, but before he can even think about using the scepter he's hit with a boot to the gut sending it flying! Off the ropes, Denzel then delivers the SCISSORS KICK, wiping the King out! Blonde freaks out and jumps onto the apron, trying to save his King. But Denzel spots him and knocks him back down to the arena floor with a dropkick!! COLE There goes "the prince"! Denzel acts quickly, dragging Landon into position. The Queen is horrified but dare not jump in and intervene with the British thugs looking on the from the stage. And she can only watch as Denzel comes off the top with the KINPUPPALICK!!! COLE And there may go the King! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! COLE Yes! Denzel Spencer, retains! COACH Oh, Esther! A travesty! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION... DDEEEENNZZZZEEEELLLL... SSSSPPEEEEENNCCCEEEEERRRRRR!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Small satisfaction for Black and The Last Kings, they look on just as miserably as before, as Denzel claims his Heartland Title belt. He is of course much more satisfied, jumping to the turnbuckles and raising the title in the air for the crowd. COLE Sweet revenge for Denzel Spencer, here tonight on HeldDOWN. He may not be the King, but tonight, he was the king of [i]this[/i] ring! And he's still the Heartland Champion. As Denzel celebrates the Queen tends to her King, helping him out of the ring with the assistance of James Blonde. But they delay over helping him to the back with Black and The Last Kings still watching on, leaving the Kingdom with nowhere to go. COACH Get these hooligans out of here, the King needs medical assistance! COLE I think the King may need to watch his back. There's a royal revolt brewing. And the revolters are watching him, very, very carefully! The Brits continue to look on, with Denzel's celebrations fading us out of HeldDOWN.
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If you can wait until tommorrow and Alf doesn't object, I can probably have Landon versus Denzel, Heartland Title.
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Stick the first one before the Youtube vid.
Put the party on hold though as we find ourselves stationed outside the back door of the arena. There waiting stands JOSIE BAKER, flanked by the arena's security team. As Josie stands with her arms folded impatiently, the door opens and the security team stand their ground, surrounding the door, blocking the entrance of LEON RODEZ, who carries the OAOAST Money In The Bank briefcase. JOSIE Hold it right there, Leon. Stopped in his tracks, Leon scowls at the security, who are ready incase he makes any sharp moves. JOSIE Now, are you going to hand that thing over, or are you going to play stupid? Leon, much like the security, stands his ground. JOSIE Alright, fine. Get the case. Giving the order, Josie watches as two of the security guards step forward and ask for the case to be handed over. Leon just stands there. So, the guards resort to brute force and grab the case... and find themselves unable to wrestle it away. Leon continues to stand, barely moved by this attempt to steal what he's stolen. Instead he stares straight at Josie, as the security guards back off. They turn to Josie as well, waiting for her to notice, under Leon's sleeve, the briefcase HANDCUFFED to Leon's wrist!!!! LEON Not so stupid after all, am I? Leon breezes past the guards, Josie too stunned to give them any orders to stop him. She looks dumbfounded for a moment, then snarls, angry at being one-upped.
[COLOR=purple]"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..."[/COLOR] The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Boos ring out as Leon Rodez emerges through the entrance way. Dressed in a plain black zip up jacket and jeans, Leon stalks down the aisle, clutching in his arms the Money In The Bank briefcase, still handcuffed to his arm. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... LLLEEEEEEOOOONN RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Not a warm welcome, but the welcome you'd expect for Leon. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon looks down at the briefcase in his hands, then up to the skies as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static. [COLOR=purple][b][i]"I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!"[/b][/i][/COLOR] Leon carries on to the ring, briefcase hanging from the cuffs as he climbs up the ring steps. COLE As of last week, we thought we had seen the back of Leon Rodez. He had walked out on the OAOAST, a protest strike against the fact he is no longer in line for an OAOAST World Heavyweight Title shot. And we thought that was a desperate measure. But it turns out, we hadn't seen anything yet. AngleMania IX, we saw the most desperate of desperate measures. Leon Rodez sat in the crowd, biding his time, waiting for the eight competitors in the Money In The Bank Ladder Match to pick each other apart, before running in and STEALING the Money In The Bank briefcase! In a match he wasn't even in, Leon climbed the ladder, grabbed the briefcase and robbed the bank! Huge controversy and controversy which still hasn't been cleared up! COACH Everybody thought he'd given up, thrown in the towel. And he was one step ahead of everyone. Leon demands a microphone and stands in the centre of the ring, holding the briefcase in his other hand and scowling at the fans. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Going to speak, Leon is stopped by the chants. COLE This crowd not too happy with the way Leon Rodez stole that briefcase. LEON You people can boo me... you can yell at me... and you can call me every name under the sun. I... don't... [i]care[/i]! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And you can all say what you want about what I did at Anglemania. All the "rules" I broke. You can preach about morality. Right and wrong. And I don't care about that either! Because I've been on the recieving end of the wrongs for far too long now. So, you'll forgive me if I don't feel [i]sorry[/i] for Alfdogg. Or for Baron Windels. Or for Tha Puerto Rican. You'll forgive me for not feeling guilty about what I did. Because, people say... two wrongs don't make a right. But I've had more than one wrong done to me lately. A well-timed shot of a fan holding a "CRYBABY LEON" sign is thrown in mid-whine. LEON See, ever since I had the OAOAST World Title stolen from me, I've been frozen out. Josie Baker has been victimising me. Just like she's been victimising Morgan. Picking on the vulnerable. Kicking us while we're down. So, you'll forgive me if you think what I did at Anglemania was... "unfair". Was it "fair" when I was robbed of my title? Was it "fair", when I didn't get my rematch? Was it "fair" when I was forced to qualify for the Lethal Rumble? It wasn't fair. Life isn't fair. But sometimes... sometimes, you get on over on life. Sometimes an opportunity comes along... and you take it. Because you know life isn't going to [i]give[/i] you anything. You have to take it. Steal it from under somebody's nose. They'd do the same to you. Fair or not. Leon looks down at the briefcase again. LEON Do you people realise... the damage this briefcase has done? Leon thrusts the briefcase forward into the camera. LEON Do you people realise the anguish this damn briefcase has lead to!? Everything that's gone wrong for me this past year! It's ALL because of this briefcase! It was because of THIS briefcase that Krista... Krista was able to ruin the one, brief moment of happiness I had last year, stealing my World Title the same day that I won it!! It was because of THIS briefcase... that Reject was able to steal the title from under my nose, right when I was about to get my revenge on her!! It's THIS briefcase! So don't TELL me what's fair and what's not fair about this! This briefcase can't ruin my life anymore! It can't hurt me anymore! Because it's [b]MINE[/b]! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" LEON And whether you like it, or you don't like it... there's nothing anybody can do about it! Leaving the ring, Leon goes over to the announce table and slams the briefcase down in front of Michael Cole. Flipping it open Leon demands a pen, which Coach timidly hands over, having it ripped out of his hands. Suddenly, Josie Baker appears on the stage, backed up by the security from earlier. COLE Here's someone who might have something to say about that. JOSIE That's where you're wrong, Leon. That isn't your briefcase, it's not your contract and you won nothing on Sunday. So I suggest you stop this, right now. LEON Oh, I've only just begun, Josie! Tired of the games, Josie sends the security down to ringside. Frantically, Leon scrawls his signature on the contract inside, to another chorus of boos. He balls the contract up, throws it in the briefcase and locks it back up, then wards off the security while he slides back into the ring. LEON Mine or not, it's got my name on it. And as for your goons... Leon holds up his hands, showing off the handcuffs tying the briefcase to his arm, jangling them about for effect. LEON ...I'd like to see them get it off me. Unless you feel like sawing my arm off at the bone, I suggest you get used to this. JOSIE Well, I suggest you [i]don't[/i] get used to it, Leon. Because you didn't win that briefcase, so you have no right to a title shot, no matter what you've scrawled on that contract. And I can get this issue sorted very easily with OAOAST management, to ensure that that contract isn't worth the paper it's written on, so long as your name is written on it. Leon looks up at Josie from the ring... and if you didn't know better, you'd swear that a smile was forming on his face. Josie seems taken aback that Leon wouldn't be taking her threat seriously. JOSIE You don't believe me? Try me. LEON Try you? No, Josie, you try me! See how that works for you. The way I see it... possession is nine-tenths of the law... and the other tenth? You're going to struggle to get that. You think the OAOAST are going to listen to you on this? Fine. Go to OAOAST management. Go to the courts. Go to wherever. I'm not worried. Not one bit. By the time I cash this contract in, you'll still be pleading your case. Your credibility is shot, Josie. I'll fight you all the way. And do you really want to start [i]that[/i] fight, Josie? After all, what was it you said on Sunday... "the OAOAST is unpredictable"... "sometimes you have to shake up the status quo"? Realising her own words are being used against her, Josie begins to get a sinking feeling. LEON That's spin. Manipulation. I can do that too, Josie. Sure, I wasn't in the match and I grabbed the briefcase. But, I shook up the status quo by doing it. No different from you giving someone winning a Women's Title... when they weren't even supposed to be in a Women's Title match. No? Unless you think OAOAST management would see things differently. In which case, go ahead. Go to them. I've got nothing to lose, Josie. What about you? Josie sticks her hands on her hips, shaking her head. She mulls things over as she leaves, while Leon continues to grip the briefcase defiantly in the face of the leaving security personnel. COLE So, let me get this straight. Leon Rodez has the Money In The Bank briefcase... but he didn't win it. Josie Baker wants to take it back, but can't. And if she goes to the OAOAST's management, she's going to have to answer for her [i]own[/i] actions, as it regards to the Women's Title situation and Morgan Nerdly. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Leon Rodez may have Josie Baker backed against a wall here. He holds all the power! COACH Yeah, but what's Josie gonna do about it, that's what I wanna know!
As we return to HeldDOWN~! we are backstage, keeping an eye on Leon Rodez and his stolen Money In The Bank briefcase. He stands, staring down at the case, when suddenly he's grabbed in a bearhug from behind by an excitable Morgan Nerdly. Leon turns around and just looks down at her, gripping onto him for dear life. MORGAN Thank you thank you thank you, I knew you'd be back to help me! Leon peels Morgan off of him. LEON I'm sorry, what? MORGAN You... y-you came back! And you're going to get my title back. Like you said earlier... right? LEON When did I say that? MORGAN When you told Josie, about what she did to me, how she ruined my great moment beating Crystal, how she was wrong and how you were going to take it to OAOAST management and make them change things and give me my belt back becau... Leon reaches out and puts his hand over Morgan's mouth, enough to get her to shut up. He waits for a few seconds until he's sure that Morgan has stopped talking before slowly taking the hand away, looking her dead in the eyes. LEON What happened to you has [i]nothing[/i] to do with what I said earlier. Okay. MORGAN Bu-but you sai... LEON No. Everything I said was to make sure I get to keep this. *pats briefcase* That's what's important. Josie's not going to open that can of worms. She's not that stupid. You should know that. After all... she outsmarted you. Didn't she. What do I keep telling you? Don't.. trust.. anyone. And yet, what did you do? You took her on her word. You won your match and you started [i]celebrating[/i]. Like you thought you'd beaten her. And then what happens? Somebody who's not supposed to be there comes down and beats you? Boo-hoo. I've had that happen to me twice now. And I'm still trying to make things right. I had to learn the hard way. So do you. You didn't listen to me. So why should I help you? [i]You[/i] lost the belt. [i]You're[/i] going to have to deal with it. Morgan looks crushed, but chokes back her tears and grasps Leon's hand. MORGAN I'm sorry I didn't listen... I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't listen, I am. Rolling his eyes, Leon wraps an arm around Morgan, who buries herself into his chest sobbing. LEON Maybe next time, you will then.
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COLE Back on HeldDOWN and we're ready for tag team action! BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by the rest of the Burrough Boys. Total combined weight, four hundred fourty five pounds... QUUUIIINNCCCYYYYYY and MMAAAARRRIIIIAAAAAANNOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The four Burrough Boys goof about in the ring, to the annoyance of the referee they're bugging. COACH My boys lookin' in [i]high[/i] spirits tonight! COLE And they're going to have to contend with a team they had an unsuccessful run-in with at AngleMania IX. The fun is over for the BBs though as "Like The Angel" by Rise Against hits. Melody Nerdly summons out her twin brothers with the use of a Wiimote, then makes them hit a jumping high-five, sending one orange and one blue pyrotechnic rocket shooting into the air! BUFFER And their opponents! Accompanied by MELODY NERDLY... at a combined weight of three hundred, seventy pounds... MARV and MEL, THE CHHRRRIIIIIISSSSSTT AAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRR... EEEXXXXXXPPRRRRREEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" MARV and MEL rush into the ring and slide in, only to get jumped by all four Burrough Boys!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Hey! Come on, this is supposed to be two on two, what is this about!? COACH This is how we do in NYC, bitch! COLE Aren't you from Kansas? Beaten on by all four Burrough Boys, MARV and MEL are sent off with a QUADRUPLE whip. They both duck double clotheslines though and dish out double Double Kickflips, knocking down all four New Yorkers at once! COLE Four for the price of two! COACH Just like the places you buy your suits at! *DINGDINGDING* As the bell sounds to start the match, Luther and Waldo bail out leaving the legal men in the match in the ring. MARV and MEL perform a double whip on Quincy and Mariano. The BBs hold onto the ropes though and point out how smart they are. At the same time, they spring off the middle rope with stereo asai moonsaults. But MARV and MEL run right underneath and come off the ropes in front with stereo running dropkicks!! COLE Woah! Fast paced action here on HeldDOWN, hold onto your hats! MARV and MEL whip Quincy into a corner. They go to whip Mariano in as well, but a reversal sends in MARV instead. MARV recovers and hits a running forearm on Quincy in the corner. He then catches Mariano running in, launching him into the air, causing Mariano to hit a top rope bronco buster on Quincy! Quincy falls back in a tree of woe, leaving both Burrough Boys trapped. After a jumping high-five The CAE then run in and launch themselves with dropkicks, one high one low, blasting both Quincy and Mariano!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WOW! Mariano rolls out of the ring, leaving Quincy two on one. The twin brothers send him to the ropes, launched up in the air by MARV and caught with a gutbuster by MEL! MARV then comes off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker, with Quincy's back bending over MEL's knee for good measure! COLE The Christ Air Express are on fire here! Cover by MEL... 1... 2... Kickout! Finally getting some order, referee Charles Robinson gets MARV on the apron, long enough for a tag to be made and another double team to be set up. Sending Quincy to the ropes, they hit a double hiptoss. The CAE then turn around to find Mariano springboarding in off the top rope, but they sidestep and guide him down into a springboard splash onto his own partner! COACH C'mon guys! Get yo' act together, homies! COLE Again, you are from [i]Kansas[/i]. Mariano is thrown outside as MARV covers Quincy... 1... 2... No! The count is broken up as Luther and Waldo throw their SNEAKERS into the ring! COLE Pelting the referee with shoes, are you kidding me? As Luther and Waldo argue with the referee, Melody takes exception as well and starts reminstrating with them too. WALDO Yo bitch, there ain't nothin' for ya here! MELODY How you gonna do, homeboy? How you gonna fling dem ice creams like dat? LUTHER Get out' mah grill, hoodrat! MELODY You wanna step to me? Huh? You wanna dance? WALDO Hell naw you ain't got none white girl! MELODY Best get to steppin', 'fore I leave ya'll curbstomped! In the ring meanwhile, MARV and MEL hit the ropes, but MARV is tripped up by Mariano from the outside and dragged to the floor. Quincy catches hold of MEL and holds him up for a SPRINGBOARD HART ATTACK by Mariano!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! The BBs call for the finish. COACH Alright, time to get that cash money! COLE I... nevermind. Quincy sets MEL up, looking for the Tanooki Suit... but MEL kicks up, kicking off of Mariano and floating over the back. He runs the two together, then ducks a clothesline from Quincy and counters with a Full Nelson Facebuster!! COACH No no, come on! Recovering, Mariano runs at MEL. The elder twin ducks and Mariano keeps running, to where MARV has climbed to the apron. MARV nails him with a forearm from the outside. He then jumps in over the top, lands on the middle rope and executes the DIAMOND DUST on Mariano!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Here we go! MARV and MEL looking for that Happy Ending! As The Christ Air Express prepare to finish Quincy off though, VINNY VALENTINE strolls to the ring! Meanwhile, Luther and Waldo jump to the apron to try and help their partner. Dropkicks from The CAE send them flying to the arena floor though. Quincy tries to take advantage, but his double clothesline is ducked and he suffers the HAPPY ENDING after all! 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" As the brothers celebrate though, attention turns to the outside where Vinny is attempting to put the moves to Melody! His disco dancing and chest rubbing doesn't seem to be winning her over, but it does distract MARV and MEL, allowing Luther and Waldo to attack from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And now it's another gangland beatdown from the New York street punks! Luther and Waldo puts the feet (sneakerless, remember) to MARV and MEL, joined by Vinny Valentine. Three on two the odds are too much for The CAE and they're stomped down into the mat. Looking on helplessly, Melody is given a HIP-SWIVEL by Vinny V! MELODY HELP! HEEELLLLPP!! Luckily for Melody, somebody hears her cries for help... ...[b]BIFF ATLAS[/b], running out to the rescue!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE IT'S BIFFMAN TO THE RESCUE!! COACH Aw, you've gotta be kidding me with this! Biff slides into the ring and lands a right hand on Luther, who flies backwards! And one for Waldo, sent crashing out of the ring! Vinny freezes and begs off from the superhero dressed Atlas. Biff grabs him by the head though and with superheroic strength, he launches Vinny V over the top and through the skies, right down onto all four Burrough Boys who unwittingly break the Disco Duck's fall!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Biff checks that MARV and MEL are okay, as The Ghetto Groove Monkeys pick themselves up and run for safety. MELODY My hero! A swooning Melody is caught by Biff, while The CAE pick themselves up and thank Biff for saving them. COACH This simp be getting simpler and simpler! Dude's running around in a Halloween costume now. I thought he was just playing dress-up for AngleMania, now he's acting like a superhero 24/7? COLE He IS a superhero, Coach! COACH Whuh? COLE Well, he just just answered the call of a damsel in distress, ran off the bad guys, came to the rescue of those that needed help. That's pretty heroic if you ask me.
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Hey guys. Ladder Match is in.
...I hate ladders.
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BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! The entrance is parted, but not for any of the competitors. Instead, a troupe of six trumpeteers march out. Pointing their trumpets to the Las Vegas sky they play a triumphant fanfare. The fanfare leading into "Parade Of The Charioteers", which takes over from the trumpeteers, putting their instruments aside and BOWING to their knees. Heading out first are Faqu and James Blonde, Blonde with a beaming smile on his face as he motions behind him. Where, after a few seconds, two ROMAN SOLDIERS lead the way for four more, carrying on their shoulders a platformed DOUBLE THRONE, carrying Queen Esther and King Landon, who is dressed up like CAESAR HIMSELF!! COLE Oh.. my.. word. BUFFER Introducing first. Total combined weight, seven hundred and seventeen pounds... they are the reigning, defending, OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... and accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER, the 2010 King Of The Ring... KING LANDON MADDIX... ladies and gentlemen, presenting, THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Queen Esther waves to the fans from her precarious throne, as does King Landon, before being FED A GRAPE by the Queen and giving a thumbs up. COACH What paegentry! What pomp! What circumstance! The Roman Empire has NOTHING on the Cucaracha Kingdom! COLE It's an entrance fit for a King here at AngleMania IX, live from Caesar's Palace! Blonde and Faqu enter the ring and Blonde looks on with great pride as the four burly Romans struggle down to ringside carrying the royal load. Managing not to break their backs somehow, they slowly lower the double throne down between the apron and the guardrail, allowing Queen Esther to hold the ropes and King Landon to step off, spinning triumphantly into the ring in his Caesar fancy dress costume. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dropping to his hands and knees Blonde shows reverance to the King, as Faqu just stands and gnaws at his title belt. COLE It's nice to see Landon and Esther entering into the spirit of the occassion. But, they'd better get serious now. Because now, they've got three bitter Brits to answer to. As the Romans take the thrones away, The Cucaracha Kingdom lord it up in the ring. Until "Mother" by Danzig hits. All business, out march The Last Kings Of Scotland, with Nathaniel Black a few steps behind, backed up by Megan Skye. BUFFER And introducing the challengers! At a total combined weight of seven hundred and thirteen pounds. The team of DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT, THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND... and their partner, accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE, he is NATHAAAANNNIIIIEEEEELLLL... BBLLLAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" The Scots slide into the ring and send The Kingdom scattering, Faqu on orders, the rest out of fear. Black wears a sour expression as he climbs up the steps, looking over the ropes at Landon on the floor. A similiar expression is worn by Megan, as the King consults with Queen Esther. COLE If ever there were a perfect example of the phrase "Misery loves company", it would be this team. What a collection of sour, miserable and worst of all for The Kingdom, angry human beings. *DINGDINGDING!* Not in any rush to get inside with the roaming madmen inside, The Kingdom stall on the outside, keeping Faqu back in the process. COLE Black and the Last Kings pacing around the ring, like lions at feeding time. As the referee encourages them to "get on with it", Landon tells him okay and puts an end to the stalling... by sending Blonde into battle. The Prince Of Panache doesn't seem too sure about this idea and he takes a little convincing. But, eventually, he gives in to Landon, because he's Landon. Blonde carefully slides in and comes up cowering from Nathaniel Black who's starting for the challengers. COLE Looks like James Blonde drew the short straw. COACH There are no short straws in the Kingdom, Cole. It's an honour to serve the King! No matter what the task. Sticking close to the ropes Blonde tries to calm his former partner down as he stands, staring, eyes piercing through his opponent. King Landon gets impatient again and orders Blonde to attack instead of cower. And he does, getting in one boot to the gut before getting beaten like a drum by Nathaniel!! Black clubs away at Blonde who's left wailing in pain, unable to get off his stomach as the forearms rain down on him! Eventually Black lets up, by which point Blonde can barely move. Black turns to Landon and just gives him a look, causing the King to cower away. COLE Nathaniel Black is not playing around here tonight! Black drags Blonde up by the hair and throws him into the turnbuckle. After some forearms and a European uppercut, he whips JB out, following him across the ring with a big clothesline! The crowd "OOOH!" as Blonde has the wind knocked out of his lungs and falls to his knees. Black drags him right back up though, whipping him back to the other corner and levelling him with another clothesline! COACH That's it James! Rope a dope! Wear him out! COLE What!? Barely able to stand, Blonde takes a big forearm to the jaw and drops like a stone. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Grabbing the hair again, Black drags Blonde over to the British part of the ring and makes a slightly tense tag with Scottish Scott. COACH Oh no. COLE Just when James Blonde things couldn't get any worse, here comes, 6'3, 260 pounds of mad Scotsman! Scottish Scott takes the reins from Black, ie. Blonde's hair. And he delivers a big Headbutt to knock Blonde down. A look of worry adorns the face of King Landon as his Prince is shoved back onto the mat and hit with a legdrop. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The first signs of encouragement in the match, applause from King Landon and Queen Esther, as they realise James Blonde is still alive. KING LANDON That's it James! Hang in there! COLE Hang in there!? His advice is worse than yours Coach! Scott picks Blonde back up, whipping him to the ropes. Able to duck a clothesline, Blonde picks up some speed, only to get steamrollered by a Scottish Scott shoulder block, sending him tumbling all the way to the other side of the ring! King Landon looks on, mortified. COLE James Blonde looks like he got hit by a truck! James Blonde probably [i]feels[/i] like he got hit by a truck too! Tag is made, bringing in Danny Boy. Together the Last Kings Of Scotland pick Blonde up in the corner and puts a hand under each armpit. The Scots then proceed to toss Blonde through the air like a shotput, sending him halfway across the ring!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Danny Boy makes the cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! COLE James Blonde is taking one hell of a beating here. A beating that's meant for Landon Maddix. And all King Landon can do, or perhaps is willing to do, is look on from the outside as Blonde takes the rap for him. COACH This is loyalty, Michael. A man willing to give his body to serve his Kingdom. COLE Well good, because that's exactly what he's being forced to do! Danny Boy beats on Blonde some more in the corner, The Trendsetter almost out on his feet at this point. Irish whip sends Blonde across the ring. But as Danny Boy attempts a charge, Blonde makes one last desperate move, diving out of the way! Danny Boy hits the turnbuckles hard and grabs his shoulder, as Blonde flops to his corner and despairingly tags in King Landon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Here comes the King! Jumping into action, Landon immediately puts the boots to the wounded Danny Boy. Unloading with a series of roundhouse kicks, Landon then places his foot on the throat, choking Danny against the middle turnbuckle. As the referee pulls King Landon away, in the corner Queen Esther attends to Blonde, trying to ail him by fanning air near his face (well, she's a Queen, not a doctor). COACH Look at the King go! COLE The 2010 King Of The Ring, finally in and on the attack. Snapmaring him out of the corner, Landon delivers a dropkick to the back of Danny Boy's head and goes for the pin... 1... 2... No! Landon quickly sinches Danny up in a front facelock. The Scot starts fighting back though. With shots to the ribs, Danny Boy is able to break free and grabs Maddix by the head, forcing the King to go to the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" That's more than enough duty done for the King's liking and he immediately makes the tag, bringing Faqu in to attack. Danny Boy falls into the corner blinded and is suddenly trapped, beaten on with wild shots from the Samoan savage. COACH Here's the power of the Kingdom! Nevermind angry Scots and bitter Brits, there's nobody meaner and nastier in the OAOAST than the Samoan Wrecking Ball! The referee tries move Faqu back and gets wailed at by the wild Samoan for his efforts. Grabbing Danny Boy's mohawk, Faqu seems a little confused by the strange hairdo as he hits Danny right in the neck with a shot. And another one. King Landon gives the encouragements and the orders from the outside, as Faqu whips Danny Boy into a corner. With a big head of steam Faqu then delivers an Avalanche, to the mirth of both King and Queen. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH If this doesn't count as treason, I don't know what does. Off with their heads King Landon! The King gets worked up by the chants and starts getting into it with the Caesar's Palace crowd on the apron. Meanwhile, Faqu scoops and slams Danny Boy, following it up off the ropes with a big jumping headbutt drop. He covers, after instructions from Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout! Megan tries to encourage Danny Boy on as Faqu drags him to the corner for the King, like a cat dragging a dead bird into the house. Accepting the tag Landon stomps away on Danny Boy a little. Then, with the stage all his, he takes a theatrical and Kingly bow in the centre of the ring. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE And this crowd certainly not taking to their "King", here tonight in Las Vegas. COACH Look at this, all the pomp and the ceremony. We should all be celebrating royalty. Not booing it. Immensely proud of himself, Landon picks back up on the match. He sends Danny Boy into the ropes and busts out a Dropsault, picture perfect! The Queen is joyous on the outside, while Megan and Black look on with disgust. Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Danny Boy quickly reaches out for a tag, but is far too far away. Landon drops a knee to the back and applies a modified camel clutch, giving him the chance to smirk it up in the face of the Kingdom's cast-offs. The smirk is too much for Black to stand and he tries to come into the ring, but is cut off by the referee, which allows Blonde to come in and help drag Danny Boy away from the corner before taking over with the camel clutch. COLE No tag made there. COACH That's okay. COLE How is it "okay", Coach, they're breaking the rules. COACH Well, if Landon wanted to he could just repeal that rule. He is the King, you know. The ref turns around and suspects foul play but the King and Queen insist a fair tag was made. Blonde stretches out Danny Boy with a smile on his face. The Scot starts to try and fight up though, not something to smile about. Blonde is forced to let go of the hold and drop a knee to the back to cut Danny Boy off. Thinking on his feet Blonde then says something to goad Black and Scott back into the ring, causing another distraction to allow for some triple teaming behind the ref's back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Before you start complaining, realise this. If these Brits weren't such hotheads then this wouldn't even be happening to their partner. So who's to blame, really? The stomps from all three champions wear Danny Boy down and when the referee turns around, he finds Landon leaving and Blonde covering... 1... 2... No! Quick tag brings the King back in. Danny Boy tries to get back to his feet, but while on his knees is grabbed by the mohawk. Landon lords it over the Scot for a second, before starting to kick Danny Boy across the face and forehead! COACH HAHA! Look at him, bowing down, kissing the King's feet! COLE This is just disrespectful. Landon turns away and soaks it all in, jeered by the crowd again. Queen Esther revers over him though and that's enough for Landon. However, when he turns around, Danny Boy is up. And he's not happy. COLE Uh-oh... I think the King just made him mad! Not sure what to do, Landon hits Danny Boy with a forearm. But Danny Boy just shakes it off. Another forearm connects. And Danny shakes his head, "no", causing the King to panic a bit. He looks around for some help, then connects with another forearm shot. Danny Boy responds by slapping [i]himself[/i] across the face to show that all Landon's succeeding in doing is firing him up! And the King instantly begs off! COACH AAH! King! Not accepting of begging Danny Boy grabs Landon and punches him right in the face! Again! And a third time! QUEEN ESTHER :O Realising he's in trouble King Landon takes a big swing, but it's ducked. Danny Boy takes him up in the air and times an atomic drop, to cause Landon to fly forward and collide with James Blonde just as he comes in to aid his King! COLE The King and the Prince... more like the Clown Prince and the Jester if you ask me! Danny Boy turns away ready to make a tag, but is attacked from behind by Faqu. The Samoan pounds away at the back of Danny Boy. Dropping the Scot to one knee, Faqu beats his chest and lets out a roar. As he goes to hit the ropes though, he's clubbed in the back with a double sledge by Scottish Scott!! The clubbing blow staggers Faqu, but he shrugs it off, turning around and roaring as he charges Scott... ...who pulls down the rope, sending Faqu flying over his head and over the top rope!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Scottish Scott jumps off the apron and takes the fight to the floor with Faqu, while in the ring, Danny Boy crawls over and MAKES THE TAG TO NATHANIEL BLACK! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here we go! Nathaniel Black, the shackles are off! Stepping into the ring, Black waits for Landon and Blonde to pick themselves up and turn around. The moment they do, and see Nathaniel staring back at them, they are suddenly full of remorse and regret for what they've done. Blonde attempts to save his own ass and tries to make friends, with Landon pushing him in the back, trying to get him to move in and attack. Non-plussed by all of this, Black eventually yells out at the two and wipes them both out with a double clothesline! COACH Come on come on, protect the King! Blonde is up first and moves in on Black, but Black ducks his head and buries it into Blonde's midsection. With Blonde down and winded Black then turns his attentions and grabs a hold of Landon! COLE Black has his hands on the King! COACH Unhand him! Black takes too long thinking about it though and Blonde recovers, catching Black from behind with a cheapshot. A shocked Landon leaves his understudy to deal with Black, clubbing away before whipping the Englishman off the ropes. Black ducks underneath a clothesline though. Able to catch a boot, Blonde thinks he's survived, but throws Black off and gets hit with the BLACK LARIAT!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As Black turns around though, he's struck out of nowhere with a Superkick from Landon!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a kick, Landon was laying in wait, waiting to strike! Cover by Landon... 1... 2... Kickout! Queen Esther begins celebrating a bit early and catches herself in mid-jump, disappointed. KING LANDON GET UP! GET UP PEASANT! Being berated fuels Nathaniel, gritting his teeth in rage as he picks himself back up. Landon grabs him the moment he reaches his feet and sets him up, looking for the Complete Shot. But Black fights out with an elbow to the side of the head! And another! Staggered, Landon runs in, right into a foot to the face! And then another Lariat, knocking him off his feet! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Black grabs King Landon's blond locks and starts to drag him to his feet, signalling for the kill. Which is all Queen Esther can take and she gets onto the apron to distract the referee. COLE What is she doing? COACH Quiet! Clearly the Queen has something important to say. We'll never know, however, as no sooner has Landon taken advantage of the distraction with a knee to Black's kidneys, Queen Esther disappears! Thanks to Megan Skye, yanking her off the apron! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Queen Esther is shocked and turns around to give Megan a piece of her mind. Megan just rolls her eyes, before SLAPPING QUEEN ESTHER TO THE GROUND!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH AHH! Enraged, King Landon comes to the defence of his Queen and reaches out of the ring, GRABBING MEGAN BY THE HAIR! COLE HEY! What the hell are you thinking!? Before Landon can do anything more, Nathaniel Black comes to the rescue. Grabbing Landon by the seat of his pants he drags the King back into the ring and delivers the Half Nelson Backbreaker!! COLE That'll do it right there! 1... 2... KICKOUT! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH No! The King is alive! Long live the King! Black growls under his breath and does a quick slash of the throat, signalling for the end again. He picks Landon up and crosses the arms under the chest, looking for the Britannia Bomb. Landon drops to a knee and deadweights though, allowing James Blonde time to come off the top rope and put the BRAND LABELLING on Black with the knee to the side of the head!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Blonde starts to celebrate though, Danny Boy rushes in and clotheslines him over the top to the floor! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Goodnight, sweet Prince! With Faqu and Scottish Scott still brawling around ringside, Danny Boy waits for Landon to turn around. Ducking his head Danny elevates King Landon up, ready for an Alabama Slam. But instead, he drops to his knees, PILEDRIVING LANDON'S HEAD INTO THE MAT!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH AAAHH! COLE Landon got SPIKED, we've got new champions, surely! As the referee drops down to count the fall though, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB HIT THE RING!! COLE Wait a damn minute! COACH It's the King's cavalry! Lucius hops up onto the apron to reminstrate with the referee, distracting him from the pin. Realising there's no pinfall being counted, Danny Boy stands up, but it's Nathaniel Black who goes over and grabs Lucius, by the afro!! As Lucius wails in pain trying to get away, Danny Boy is drawn to the other side of the ring where Rico has climbed to the apron. But as Danny Boy grabs [i]him[/i] by the hair, he's suddenly STRUCK OVER THE HEAD WITH THE SCEPTER!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! Rico with the scepter! Not like this! Danny Boy hits the mat, lights out. But Landon is still out too. Thinking quickly, Rico sneaks into the ring, dragging the lifeless King over the top of Danny Boy. Rico then goes to help Lucius, able to throw the referee into a position where he can see the pinfall, before helping Lucius in holding Black in place. COLE This is highway robbery! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE The Kingdom has just pulled off the Royal Screwjob! *DINGDINGDING* Only just coming back to any sort of consciousness, Landon is able to lift his head and look around, wondering what just happened as James Blonde drags him to safety. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST WORLD 6-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... KING LANDON MADDIX... JAMES BLONDE AND FAQU... THE CUCARACHA KKIIIIIIINNGGDDOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Rico and Lucius manage to get away from Black and help carry the King to safety, with cheers and whoops of celebration. Queen Esther collects the title belts and hands them over, Rico and Lucius doing most of the celebrating for King Landon, who clutches onto his title belt bleary eyed and confused. COACH Huzzah for the King! Huzzah for the Kingdom! What a regal celebration it'll be tonight for the Kingdom in Las Vegas! COLE It'll be a celebration alright... a celebration that they got away with it. King Landon was beaten. He was [i]beaten[/i]! He can barely even stand! And yet, thanks to the rest of his lackeys, he scored the pinfall to retain the 6-Man Titles, which I'm sure will please him when he finally remembers what his name is and what year it is. As Landon is carried away by the rest of his Kingdom, Nathaniel Black looks on from the ring seething with rage. Scottish Scott joins him, while checking on Danny Boy.
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OAOAST 6-Man Tag Titles
The Cucaracha Kingdom © vs. Nathaniel Black and The Last Kings Of Scotland
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"Right Round" by Flo Rida cues and out head The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, without their Queen but ready to fight. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, to be fought under Relaxed Rules. Introducing first, respreseenting the CUCARACHA KINGDOM... total combi... Buffer suddenly trails off as he, as well as everyone else, spot THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND running down the aisle behind Rico and Lucius. Or, everyone except Rico and Lucius themselves, who don't notice until they're clattered from behind by the vengeful Scots! COLE The Last Kings couldn't wait any longer! And this one is underway in the aisleway! COACH What a cheapshot! *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds to start the match since, hey, it's relaxed rules. Nothing wrong with a brawl on the ramp. Nothing wrong either with Lucius getting thrown into the guardrail by Danny Boy, while Scottish Scott breaks out the spiked club and chokes Rico with the handle of it. Danny Boy gives Lucius a headbutt sending him staggering down the ramp, while Rico gasps for air. COACH Is it any wonder Queen Esther cast these two off? Look at them! They're savages! Lucius reaches the ring and is grabbed by Danny Boy, his head bounced off the apron. As Lucius stumbles away Danny Boy quickly goes under the ring. And producing a chair, he jams it into Lucius's stomach! COLE We are seeing an all out brawl here. Nothing more than a fight. And the referee is allowed to let this one go as far as he wants tonight. Now it's Lucius being choked, up against the barricade with the edge of the chair, while Rico is brought to the ring by Scottish Scott. Scott throws him inside and hurls the spiked club in after him. However, the club falls too close to Rico and as Scott steps through the ropes, Rico catches him with the point of the club into the midsection. And again. Dragging Scott out from between the ropes, Rico quickly hits a DDT and tries to get the match over quickly... 1... 2... No! Grabbing the club, Rico gives Scott a taste of his own medicine by pressing it into the Scotsman's throat. COACH Yeah! These guys aren't so tough when they're not jumping people from behind, are they Michael? COLE You mean Rico and Lucius? COACH No, the Scots! When did Rico and Lucius jump anyone from behind!? COLE Two weeks ago, during the coronation ceremony! COACH Oh. That was different. As Rico stomps away on Scottish Scott, Danny Boy enters the ring and clubs Rico in the back. Danny Boy throws Rico into the turnbuckles and stomps away in the corner. Meanwhile, Lucius rolls back in, sneaking up on The Braveheart. Danny Boy catches Lucius out of the corner of his eye though. Cutting him off with a boot, Danny then grabs Lucius and flings him into Rico, causing him to spear his own partner! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Rico and Lucius try to help each other up, leaving them both in a bad predicament. Across the ring, Danny Boy whips Scottish Scott in and the big Scot crushes BOTH of them with an Avalanche!! COLE Scottish Scott could have smashed through Hadrian's Wall going at that speed! Throwing Rico outside, Scott starts clubbing away at Lucius who is on his knees and clearly winded. Danny Boy follows Rico out and continues the fight on the floor. In the ring, Scott whips Lucius into the ropes. Putting his head down for a backdrop, he gets caught with a kick to the shoulder blade. But as Lucius turns and hits the ropes again Scott recovers and delivers a Powerslam. COLE Big Powerslam from Scottish Scott! But no cover, the Scots want to dish out some more punishment instead. Right on cue Danny Boy procures two more steel chairs. He throws one inside to Scott and keeps one for himself. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Listen to these people... these bloodthirsty people. They're as bad as The Last Kings are! As Scottish Scott sets his chair up in the corner, Danny Boy rears back... *CRACK!* ...and blasts Rico across the back with his chair! COACH OH! Somebody comfort Queen Esther. I hope she's not watching. Meanwhile, Scottish Scott has the chair wedged between the turnbuckles and is ready to whip Lucius in... but Lucius somehow manages to reverse and it's [i]Scott[/i] who hits the chair spine first! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" COLE If Queen Esther is watching, I'm sure she'll have enjoyed that. COACH King Landon too. With Scott hurt in the corner, Lucius gets a run up... and hits a CORNER YAKUZA KICK, right to the face! Scott crumbles to the mat and Lucius forces him down onto his shoulders, making the cover... 1... 2... NO! After a bit of effort Lucius gets the chair out from between the turnbuckles. And with Scott down, he takes aim, smashing him across the back! And a second time! Scott rolls over to the ropes and Lucius delivers another shot with him under the bottom rope, before Danny Boy comes back in and grabs Lucius from behind by the EYEBALLS!! LUCIUS AAAHHHHHH!! Giving the eyes a good rake Danny Boy then starts to go to work, clubbering away on Lucius. Something takes Danny Boy's eye at this point. Lucius's fro comb, which has fallen out of his pocket. A good enough weapon for Danny Boy who starts to gouge at Soul's forehead with the comb handle, then jabs it in a couple of times for good measure! COLE Do you think Lucius and Rico are regretting following the King's orders yet? COACH Not at all. What the King decides is the right thing to do, is the right thing to do. COLE Even if it means being forced to fight with two pissed off Scotsmen? Danny Boy gets rid of the comb and hits a double sledge to the back before going for a pin... 1... 2... No! Danny Boy dishes out some more stomps, then grabs the spiked club. COLE Uh-oh! Before he can use it though, Danny spots Rico climbing to the apron. He goes to cut the Brazilian off, but gets caught by Rico who wraps an arm around Danny Boy's throat. Hanging onto the Scot, Rico keeps him neutralised, while Lucius comes over and gives him a kick to the stomach, forcing Danny Boy to drop the club. Still being choked from the apron, Danny Boy is then left wide open for a SPIKED CLUB SHOT right to the midsection!! COLE OH! An unprotected shot with that club, come on! Rico and Lucius lap it up as Danny Boy writhes in pain on the mat, Scottish Scott on the outside hurt as well. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius gets Rico to pick Danny Boy back up and hold him in place, for ANOTHER spiked club shot to the breadbasket! Danny Boy doubles up in pain, stomped in the back by Rico who then strokes his moustache with a smirk on his face while Lucius fluffs his afro. COLE I know this is relaxed rules. But there are relaxed rules and then there are just plain NO rules! COACH You know what else rules? King Landon! He rules the OAOAST, he and his Kingdom, the Kingdom which is standing tall right now while the wannabee "Kings" are flat on their back. "One more" is the call from Lucius, Rico holding Danny Boy in place. As Lucius takes aim this time Danny Boy manages to defend himself, getting his boot up and kicking Lucius in the gut. Sliding back in, Scottish Scott then puts a stop to the second attempt by grabbing the club! Rico throws Danny Boy down, but runs into an elbow off of Scott. Scott quickly ducks the club from Lucius and knocks him down with a big boot to the chest! COLE Scottish Scott isn't on his back anymore Coach! He's up... and what's more, he's got the spiked club! COACH Okay that's enough ref, ding ding ding, DQ! No DQ is coming though, even after Scott takes the club and CLOTHESLINES RICO WITH IT!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Scott grabs the club again and gives A SHOT TO LUCIUS'S RIBS! AND ONE TO THE BACK!! SCOTTISH SCOTT AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Scottish Scott, laying waste to the Hellfire Club, with his hellish club! Rico picks himself back up with blood seeping from a cut on his forehead. Woozy, he stumbles around the ring, eventually falling into the clutches of Scottish Scott. Booting Rico in the gut, Scott sets him up for a piledriver. But Scott doesn't seem satisfied with that. Walking over to his left a bit Scott repicks his spot and hits a JUMPING PILEDRIVER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COACH AAH! COLE Rico just got CROWNED! With Rico taken care of, Scott turns his attentions to Lucius. Hurting in the corner The Black Knight tries to beg off, but is grabbed by the afro and hauled back to his feet. Lucius is held in place, pleading for his life, while Danny Boy slides a TABLE into the ring and sets it up in the corner. COACH Come on, enough is enough! COLE I don't think it's enough yet Coach. This is payback. Payback for the Last Kings. The kind of payback that King Landon still has coming his way! In the middle of his pleading Lucius is suddenly lifted up off his feet with a double leg pickup. He waves his hands around in a vain attempt to do something, anything to stop what happens next. Heading straight for the table, Scottish Scott charges forward with Lucius in his arms and PLOUGHS HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE The table gets broken in half! COACH No, [i]Lucius[/i] got broken in half! The crowd go wild, as Scott drags Lucius's carcass out from the wreckage of the table and presses his fists into his chest, as Danny Boy stands watch. 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Your winners of the match... THE LAST KKIIIIIINNGGSSS OOOFFF SSSSCCOOOOOTTLLLAAAAANNDD!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Scottish Scott beats his chest and roars as he and Danny Boy stand tall over the bloodied, beaten and battered bodies of The Hellfire Club. COLE The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club has been DECIMATED! Sweet revenge for Scottish Scott and Danny Boy. And now, next on the agenda, Landon Maddix, James Blonde and Faqu at AngleMania IX in Las Vegas! COACH Oh god.
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Backstage, Josh Matthews is stood by, although a certain safe distance away from, the seething Last Kings Of Scotland. Who with their angry snarls and mohawks aren't really people Josh is comfortable being too close to. MATTHEWS Joining me at this time, The Last Kings Of Scotland... and no doubt, still angry after what happened to you during the King Of The Ring coronation ceremony. You were cast aside by Queen Esther, attacked by The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club on orders of Landon Maddix. What are your thoughts now a couple of weeks on? DANNY BOY Our thoughts? Our thoughts are, we're bloody well pissed off! SCOTTISH SCOTT Aye! We got attacked... from behind, mind. We got laid out an' left fer dead. And tha' Queen Esther, she's walkin' around with her head in the clouds, she's got her new little "Kingdom" an' her fancy new King. Well Esther, lass, if yer listenin', we got a little message for ye'. If ye' thought that you an' yer new little Kingdom were just gon'nay beat us down and get us outta yer hair forever... yer [i]dead wrong[/i]. DANNY BOY And Landon Maddix, ye' big soft arse nancy boy! I dunno if you know what you've gotten yerself in for, listening to that airhead Queen of yers. But you've gone and mad yerself some [i]very[/i] powerful enemies, lad. We're the meanest, most violent, most sadistic tag team in this whole entire company. Why? Cause we're Scottish! Brush up on yer history lad! Ye don't cross the Scots! We're gonna come after you an' yer Kingdom and we're gonna keep on unleashing hell on you until your castle has crumbled to pieces and your head is stuck on a spike coming outta the top of your throne! We're gonna lay waste to you. And we're gonna lay waste to anyone associated with you. Startin' tonight with Rico and Lucius, those two back-jumping cronies of yours. Maybe when we drop their two bloody carcasses outside yer gate, you and yer Kingdom'll understand the shit yer in! Suddenly, up walks NATHANIEL BLACK. A tense situation is defused by MEGAN SKYE, stepping in as Black and the Scots look like they're about to go nose to nose. MEGAN Easy. We're not here for any trouble. We've got an offer for you. DANNY BOY Really? An' why would we be interested in any offer from this Southern softie? BLACK Listen... I ain't 'ere to ask for your 'elp. The way I see it, you two Jocks need a little 'elp yourself. Seeing this isn't leading anywhere good, Megan steps in again. MEGAN What Nathaniel's trying to say is, we're all in the same boat here. We all want the same thing. There's two things we've got in common and that we can agree on. One... we're all miserable bastards. And two, we all want revenge on Landon, Esther and their flunkies. Reluctant nods from the three miserable bastards. MEGAN So we've got a match all set up. March 28th. The Cucaracha Kingdom, for the 6-Man Titles, against Nathaniel and any two partners. If you want to be those two partners, great. If you don't... well, then you just missed and opportunity to get what you want. What's it going to be? After looking at each other, The Last Kings nod and apparantly the deal is done. SCOTTISH SCOTT A word of advice tho' lassie... us Scots and English... we don'nay get along. MEGAN ...don'nay? BLACK He means we're always 'avin a dust up, innit. MEGAN .....dust up? DANNY BOY We 'ate each other. MEGAN Ah. Okay. Fine by me. The Scots walk off for their match, leaving Black and Megan behind, all looking about as happy as they possibly could with their new alliance. Which isn't very happy at all.
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Relaxed Rules
Mardi Gras Hellfire Club vs. The Last Kings Of Scotland
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COLE Apparantly, we're being told that our cameras are outside. And they believe they've caught up with Leon Rodez. Lets go back there, see what's going on. Out in the St Louis streets Josh Matthews is heading off in pursuit of someone in the distance, microphone in hand. The cameras approach the figure hunched over in the distance and find Leon Rodez, hidden under a black hoodie, sat on the edge of the pavement. MATTHEWS Leon! Leon... what are you doing out here? Glancing out from under his hood Leon glares at the camera and puts his head back down. LEON I'm not doing a thing. MATTHEWS Well, where have you been these past few weeks? And why are you sitting in the dirt? The show's inside, we've been going for about 45 minutes already.... LEON I don't care about your 'show'. I don't care about your cameras. I don't care about this interview time you're apparantly giving me. Leon peels back his hood and looks fairly bedraggled. His hair is a mess and there are bags under his eyes. LEON As of now, I'm not a part of this show anymore. So you're wasting your time. You want to know where I've been? Blame Josie Baker. I am an outcast. I am being denied what is mine... a shot at the OAOAST World Title... the only thing in that arena worth my time and effort. Until I get what I want, the OAOAST do not get me. Call this a strike. Call it a protest. I don't care. Until Josie Baker treats me fairly and gives me my title shot, I am boycotting the OAOAST. No matches... no interviews... nothing. If Josie wants to sue me for breach of contract? Fine. Money is immaterial to me. There's only one thing Josie can do to get me back inside. And she knows exactly what that is. You won't see me inside an OAOAST building until I am sure my demand is met. End of story. MATTHEWS But, Leon, you realise that Anglemania is less than two weeks away, don't you? The biggest show of the year. Looking unconcerned by this, Leon merely shrugs his shoulders. MATTHEWS Okay. Well, what about Morgan? You realise that she's being targetted by Crystal, who you've got a history with yourself. What about Morgan? LEON ...Morgan can handle herself. MATTHEWS Can she? I don't know, Crystal is... LEON Morgan's problems are Morgan's problems. She'll understand. Leon puts his hood back up and shuts Josh off, leaving the interviewer to wisely give up. MATTHEWS Alright guys, I don't think we're going to get much more out of Leon here. Back to you.
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COLE Now, we've been passed some reports in the minutes leading up to this show that a number of fans have spotted Leon Rodez, outside the Scottrade Center. Apparantly he was just seen wandering around outside the arena. Now, we haven't seen Leon Rodez since Anglepalooza, where he failed to win the Lethal Rumble of course and we're told that nobody backstage has reported seeing Leon inside the building. So we hope to follow up on that development during the course of this show. In the meantime, let's take you backstage to Josh Matthews. Josh? In accordance with their new name and line-up, the Cucaracha Internacional locker room has been transformed into the Cucaracha Kingdom castle! A plush purple carpet lines the room, a deep red wallpaper scheme with lots of gold ornaments and design features around the room. And overlooking all of this, two regal thrones. One seating Queen Esther, next to her new King, Landon Maddix. Landon wears his purple robe but has the crown sat next to him for now. Stood on either side of the thrones are Faqu and James Blonde, and the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. MATTHEWS Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time, Landon Maddix... BLONDE King Landon! King! Say it! MATTHEWS Sorry. [i]King[/i] Landon and Queen Esther. Landon gets a smug look on his face and gazes off into the distance. MATTHEWS Last week was the big coronation ceremony to crown you as 2010 King Of The Ring and quite frankly, it turned into complete chaos. And most of it seemed to be your doing Landon. BLONDE King Landon! MATTHEWS ...King Landon. KING LANDON Joshua, all that happened last week was a glorious occassion. Great celebration. I finally arose to my throne, to rule over the OAOAST. That is all that really matters. Now, granted, a couple of ungrateful, unworthy, unloyal subjects tried to ruin my big moment and they almost achieved it. But in the end, the Cucaracha Kingdom is stronger for having overcome that setback. Last week myself and Queen Esther announced our coming together as an alliance. And we've sorted the nobility from the disability, to create the impossible... the IMPOSSIBLE!... a unit even STRONGER than Cucaracha Internacional were. MATTHEWS A unit which doesn't involve The Last Kings Of Scotland. QUEEN ESTHER Brutes! Heathens! Oh, how at ease I feel not being in the presence of those boarish thuggards anymore! With their shocking haircuts, their foul mouths, their terrible table manners. They way they would throth at the mouth like wild dogs. It would make my face red with shame. Why, they are nothing more than beasts! And a Queen should not be surrounded by beasts! In the background, Faqu snorts. KING LANDON A lady with such beauty and such a fine heart like Queen Esther should never have been associated with people like that. So we rid our Kingdom of them. And we are better for it. MATTHEWS And what about Nathaniel Black? And Megan Skye, who'd been at your side for about 5 years. Landon sighs and shakes his head, gripping Queen Esther's hand for support. KING LANDON Megan has helped me a lot in the past. I don't deny this. But, I always felt that she was becoming self-absorbed. MATTHEWS Excuse me? KING LANDON I expect complete loyalty from my men and my women, Joshua. Loyalty to my cause. Loyalty to my vision! Megan couldn't handle her place in my Kingdom. She looked at my new Queen with envious eyes. And that was bad enough. Then, she laid her hands on my Queen. And that was simply unacceptable. She betrayed the King. And when you betray the King, when you commit treason in the Cucaracha Kingdom, you have to pay the price. Now as far as Nathaniel Black is concerned... he's had the envious eyes for years now. Envy of me. He's just like Megan. He couldn't handle the fact that somebody else was better than him, he couldn't take orders. He thought he knew best. And he committed high treason by attempting to stand up to me. Well, he's got what he wants now. He's going to be forced to forage for himself. To make his own existance, no more handouts from me. But he is now an enemy of the Kingdom. Motioning to Blonde, Landon is handed the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Title belts. The three of them. But no sign of his makeshift fourth. KING LANDON The weak link of our unit has been dealt with. As of this moment, I am officially proclaiming that he has been stripped of his championship standing. Nathaniel Black no longer has any connection to me, or my Kingdom. And that myself, James Blonde and Faqu shall reign officially from this point on as OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions. MATTHEWS Can you do that? KING LANDON Of course I can. I'm the King of the OAOAST. King Of The Ring! King Of Spain! I can do whatever I want. And my Kingdom, my structured Kingdom, can reign over the OAOAST as an unstoppable force. My beautiful Queen, Queen Esther... Esther begins to blush at the compliment. KING LANDON My Knights, The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. My Regal Wrecking Ball, Faqu. My Prince, James Blonde. And myself, as King. We are an all-powerful Kingdom. And heaven forbid anyone who dares to fight the Kingdom. We go back to Sofa Central, with Coach and a sceptical looking Michael Cole. COLE When did Landon get the dictionary? COACH He's a noble man now. Noble men speak with noble words. COLE I'm pretty sure you don't become 'noble' overnight. Although, I'm far from surprised at how quick this has all gone to Landon's head. COACH [i]King[/i] Landon! COLE Sigh.
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We come back to ringside with Michael Buffer standing inside a spotlight in the OAOAST ring.
BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen this contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes and it is for the United States Championship!
“Rock Your Baby” plays to an extremely sour reception from the Quebecois in attendance. Perhaps oblivious to the negative reaction he’s garnered, Vinny Valentine struts onto stage. He performs a funky disco dance which also does little to endear him to the OAOAST Galaxy.
BUFFER
Introducing the challenger…. from Brooklyn, New York... weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... he is "THE DISCO DUCK"... VVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNYYYYYYY... VVVAAAAAAAALLLLLLLEEEENNTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEEE!!!
“BOOOOOOOO!”
COLE
Vinny Valentine earning this match under very dubious circumstances. He tricked the referee into thinking Simon Singleton low blowed him when it was simply a shot to the stomach. This resulted in him getting a DQ victory and advancing to face Alix for the United States title match here in Montreal.
COACH
Sometimes you gotta get down and dirty, especially when it comes to title matches. Singleton would’ve done the same thing if he had thought of it first. Those Cobras are sneaky.
Vinny gets funky inside the ring, still unaware of the fact that his disco love is repulsing the audience. Thankfully he calls his dancing to an end in order to stretch for the upcoming contest.
COLE
This could be the most important match in Vinny’s career and it couldn’t come against a tougher opponent.
She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before
Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood hoe
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
The way that booty movin I can't take no more
Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
Akon’s “Sexy Bitch” comes to life, meeting with a massive ovation from the now standing audience. Rising onto the side of the entrance stage is a bar setting complete with patrons, and a neon pink sign that says “ALIX’S!” On top of the bar counter, attired in white booty shorts, and a white tube top is Miss Speiza herself. She wows the audience and the bar flys with some dirty dancing. She then hops off the bar and blows a kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to appear on the screen.
BUFFER
And the champion, she is one half of the 2010 Anderson Cup champions, from Los Angeles, California….ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAAA!
COLE
Alix has to put what happened to Maya earlier tonight out of her mind and focus on Vinny Valentine. Or else she might be in for a major upset.
Alix merrily skips down the entrance ramp, blowing kisses to all the cute girls and waving to the not so cute ones. Upon entering the ring, she reaches the top rope and flashes the peace sign to the cheering onlookers. She then does a graceful and gorgeous backflip, that results in her bowing to the wowed fans.
DING DING DING
ALIX
Paaaaaar-taaaaaaaaaay!
With that proclamation Alix zips across the ring and leaps into Vinny Valentine’s arms and plants a kiss on his forehead.
VINNY
Alix’s love for Vinny is short lasted as she rushes towards referee Earl Hebner. She jumps into his arms and peppers him with kisses as well.
VINNY
What are you doing?
ALIX
I’m just so happy! I wanna kiss everyone! I wanna kiss the world!
VINNY
Hey, baby, V-Squared has got something real special you can kiss. Come over and take a look.
Expecting Vinny to have some kind of cute animal, Alix runs over to his location. Vinny holds his pants out so that Alix may peer downwards and find his buried treasure.
ALIX
I don’t see anything.
VINNY
Growing more angered than sad Vinny lunges at Alix with a lariat. But the Hollywood Bad Girl ducks beneath the attack. Vinny quickly whirls around only to get quite the fright as Alix screams “BOO!” Realizing that he’s been embarrassed once again, Vinny makes another mad dash for Alix. This time the California cutie drops to the ground and traps her foe with a drop toe hold.
COLE
Nice move by Alix who is really having her way tonight with Vinny Valentine.
Double V realizes he’s rapidly approaching defeat, and attempts to make a drastic change. He leaps forward in hopes of snaring her into a lockup. But Alix ducks behind him and grabs him into a rear waistlock.
ALIX
Who’s ticklish? Who’s ticklish?
Hopefully Vinny is as Alix begins hitting his ticklish spots.
VINNY
Less enjoyable to V-Squared is Alix whipping him into the corner. The US champion chases him down and springs into a body splash. However, Vinny slides himself out the way at the last possible moment. Thankfully, Alix is able to gain a position on the second rope rather than crash into the posts. She quickly checks over her shoulder to get a read on Vinny. Once he’s where she wants him, the spunky brunette flips backwards with a moonsault press. However, Vinny rolls forward to avoid the attack. Once again Alix is able to counter his counter, this time by landing on her furry white boots. Vinny is less than delighted to see her avoid doom once more. Thus its with an enraged heart that he lobs a lariat at her. Alix merely grabs onto his arm, and then swings around to connect with a tornado single arm ddt.
ALIX
AH AH AH AH STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYIN AAAAAAAAALIIIIIIIIIIVE!
“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”
Vinny is understandably perturbed with being mocked, and quickly hops to his feet inflict damage upon Alix. The Hollywood Bad Girl quickly pounces upon him with quick kicks that hobble him. With Vinny weakened by her strikes, Ally Cat runs to the ropes. But as she returns Vinny shoots to sudden life and dumps her over to the canvas with a powerslam.
VINNY
Count it, daddy!
Hebner does exactly that…
ONE!
The brunette babe makes an easy kickout, even smiling as she does so. Her cute grin is quickly erased however as Vinny roughly hauls her upright by her chocolate colored hair. He tags her with several forearms to weaken her before he puts himself off the ropes. He returns with shoulder lowered, ready to trample her down. But the resourceful champion jumps into the air, leapfrogging her way over the attack. Unfortunately, Vinny was able to call his run to a halt, and Alix lands with back towards him. This proves to be a painful miscalculation on her part, as V-Squared is able to bring her down with a side Russian leg sweep. He then quickly scurries on top of her for a pinfall…
ONE!
Alix makes another effortless kickout. However, Vinny is not dissuaded and hooks both her legs for the pinfall…
ONE!
Alix encounters little trouble in popping out the pinfall. Frustrated and downcast, Vinny wears a sour expression as he brings Alix to her feet. Eager to end Vinny’s brief bit of dominance, Alix employs a tiny smidgen of flattery…
ALIX
Vinny, I can tell by the way you use your walk that you’re a woman’s man, no time to talk.
VINNY
Got that right, kitty cat!
ALIX
Your music is loud and your woman warm, you been kicked around since you were born.
VINNY
Truth.
ALIX
And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way. We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man. Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother….
VINNY
Don’t do it! Don’t you dare do it again!
ALIX
STAAAAAAAAAAYYIIIIIN AAAAAAAALIIIIIIIIIVE!
For some odd reason the person named the Disco Duck is angry that someone quoted a disco song to him. Furious, he throws a furious fist at Alix. But she swats it away with a flick of her furry boot, and uses the other one to swing around and crack him in the skull with a leaping heel kick. Springboard off the ropes sees her attempt a lionsault, but Vinny rolls out the way. Yet once again Alix evades certain doom by touching down on her unorthodox boots. She holds her arms into the air and wears a perfect smile as though she were a gymnast performing a majestic routine.
“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”
Vinny builds up steam on the ropes and comes charging towards ready to hit a standing version of his Boogie Shoes (shining wizard). But Alix is well prepared for this move; when he leaps into the air, Alix catches him beneath the chin with a devastating superkick!
ALIX
Whoo-hooo! I love the superkick, and ya wanna know why? Because its super!
Although dazed, Vinny manages to make his way to his feet. Out the corner of his eye he catches Alix throwing herself against the ropes. Thanks to his timely vision he’s able to grab her into a sidewalk slam! As soon as Alix hits the canvas, V-Squared attempts a pinfall…
ONE!
Alix makes another easy escape. Wildly annoyed by Alix’s continued foiling of his title dreams, Vinny unleashes a barrage of strange 70’s slang that no one can quite understand.
COLE
I don’t understand how this man can represent a decade he wasn’t alive to see!
COACH
Disco lives, baby, and its staaaaaaayin aaaaaaliiiiiive
COLE
Don’t you start!
Vinny grabs Alix into a front facelock, and latches onto her booty shorts to begin lifting her into the air for a vertical suplex. But at the height of the move, Alix adds to his frustration by falling backwards and spiking his head into the canvas with a DDT~!
“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”
“Not cool, not cool!” Vinny whines as he nurses his sore head. Clutching onto his forehead, Vinny makes an unsteady rise. His situation continues to become more problematic as Alix hooks him into a rear waistlock. However the wrestling gods smile on him, as he’s somehow able to sitout and nail Alix with a stunner.
COLE
Ouch! Alix caught a tough one there!
Alix stays upright, but moans in pain that fills her mouth. With Ally hurting, Vinny regains a little bit of his “mojo” and swaggers over to her.
VINNY
Night Fever! Night Fever! I know how to do it!
“BOOOOOOOO!” the fans deride Vinny’s calling out of is finisher. Ignoring their cruel words, Vinny busies himself with lifting Alix onto his thin shoulders. But that’s as far as his finisher will get on this night, as Alix rolls downwards and traps him inside a pinfall! Hebner drops to his knees to make the count…
ONE!
TWO!
Vinny makes a last second kickout that earns jeers from the Montreal audience. Alix peps them up quite a bit by hiking up her already teenie tiny tights and giving her self a wedgie that reduces the crowd into drooling horndogs.
ALIX
Booty time!
“YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer in delight for Alix’s Latina honey buns. The Hollywood Bad Girl puts that cute ass into effect using it to double over Vinny with a shot to the stomach. While Vinny remains incapacitated, Alix scampers up to the top rope. She gives the lust filled audience a little wiggle of her tight tush and then flies off to squash Vinny’s head with a BUTT-assisted fameasser!
COLE
That put the ass in fameasser!
After giving herself a cute little spanking, Alix hooks onto Vinny’s legs for the pinfall..
ONE!
TWO!
Vinny makes the kickout, earning himself another round of boos from the OAOAST Marks. As they continue to berate him, the Disco Duck climbs back to his feet. Now upright he’s thrown under fire from knife edge chops that shear through his chest. Desperate to stop the anguish,V-Squared rakes Alix’s green eyes.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Vinny taunts the hostile audience with a funky dance before turning his attention to Alix. He lifts her back across his shoulders in set up for the Night Fever (Alabama Slam). But once again Alix foils his quest for victory, this time by whipping backwards coming down in front of The Disco Duck. Vinny rushes forward expecting to be able to drop her with his shoulder. But Alix stabs him in the stomach with her boot, hobbling him over. Stuck in that position, Vinny’s easily grabbed into a side facelock! From there Alix flips forward and strikes him with the Confessions of Kristaholic ( Somersault neckbreakr)! As the fans express their exuberant joy, Alix leans on top of Vinny for a pinfall…
CROWD
ONE!
CROWD
TWO!
CROWD
THREE!
“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
BUFFER
Your winner as a result of pinfall, and still United States Champion…ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAA!
Alix heaps further humiliation onto Vinny by busting out a Saturday Night Fever dance over his fallen corpse.
COLE
Alix Maria Spezia with an easy victory, whose outcome was never in doubt. But she and Krista Isadora Duncan face a much tougher foe in the LDC Moneygang at Anglemania.
COACH
COD's dreams of a 5th tag team title run are just like Maya's bake sale....over! Ha!
FADE OUT
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Oh, it's up already? You caught me out! I've got stuff going in now, but I'm not late!
EDIT: Why is it when I try and edit any of the posts in the shows, all the apostrophes and the quotation marks disappear? FFS. Anyway, I've stuck in my coronation ceremony segment.
Motor City feedback
in Brandon Truitt
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Opener's in. Apologies for the delay.