The Smackdown! Comentary: why is it so...

[Guest RickyChosyu]

Watching Smackdown! on the 4th of July, I was rather impressed with how much of a "Big Show" atmosphere it had (and no, I'm not talking about Paul White). However, I felt like something was definately missing, and I believe it's the comentary. Fundimentally speaking, it's horrible. I don't understand how Vince can watch his own TV programing and not instantly notice the glaring problems with Taz and Michael Cole as a comentary team.

 

The problem doesn't even lie with Cole. Sure, he's a horrendous Play-By-Play guy, and can't even call an arm-drag properly most of the time, but people have grown used to the fact that he sucks and it's not really an issue anymore. The problem is Taz. Back when JR was out and King/Cole were the main comentary team, it was tollerable because even though Cole was a total joke, King knew it and made fun of him constantly. Plus, King did something Taz, never does, and that's put over the heels.

 

Take, for instance, the opening segment of Smackdown: Lilian starts out with her mellodramatic-as-usual performance, and then the Canadian Mafia interupts. They go on a tirade about how ignorant most Americans are to the history of their own country, how America had no right to be in Nam or Korea, and how hypocritical they are for trying to boo them out of the building when they supposedly believe in freedome of speech. Now, I hate to sound unpatriotic, but I don't think any of that was too far from the truth, by any destinction. But despite that, Tazz never said one thing in agreement with them. Not one. He doesn't even question the fact that a lethargic, Samoan guy in a thong is supposedly defending America's honor! Dear God, Jesse would have been all over that!

 

And when Cole calls thenm hypocrites for cheating in the match (never once did they accuse America of cheating in any way), Tazz is perfectly content to agree with him, and thus we have two guys who aren't even intelligent enough to defend America from the insults of three Canadian guys, and the WWE (and everyone who watches it) looks even more stupid to everyone else in the world because Michael Cole and Tazz don't have anything to say other than "these guys are hypocrites, they say one thing and do another!!!" over and over again, as if repeating it will cause it to eventually make sense.

 

How hard would it have been to say "Rikishi is only proving them right! He's attacking them out of no where for speaking against America, which goes against the Constitution!" Would it have been so hard for Tazz to have taken a pot-shot at the fact that a 50-something has-been and a Canadian were the ones getting a big win for America? Again, do you think Jesse would have hessitated? Of course not, but that doesn't stop Tazz from talking about Hulkamania running wild like the total waste of oxygen that he is. Did I mention I miss Jesse?

[Guest CanadianChick]

I don't think that the Raw commentators are much better...all the commentators seem to be faces, even Lawler.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

I don't think that the Raw commentators are much better...all the commentators seem to be faces, even Lawler.

At least Lawler tries to put over Eddy, Benoit, and Brock as good heels, while Tazz's definition of that seems to be "that Angle is pretty good at suplex's."

[Guest redbaron51]

thats why there is a little button called Mute

 

and lately it has been good too me

[Guest HartFan86]

I was at the Boston SD tapings and it ruled live, but sucked on tape. Fucking DIE Michael Cole.

[Guest Human Fly]

Maybe when Jesse's term is up he could come back? There's probably no way, but it's a nice thought.

 

The scary thing is that the WWE must think Tazz is doing a great job at commentating because they are pulling him from wrestling completely (according to the Ross Report). I never thought Tazz could make it as a ME in the WWE but I always thought they could've found an effective use for him. He should do commentary in his Taz character from ECW. He did it one time in an Eliminators match and he was better that way. Now it's all he can do not to climax on air whenever Hogan comes out.

[Guest redbaron51]

lets just hopefully they don't do the same for D'Lo

[Guest RickyChosyu]

The scary thing is that the WWE must think Tazz is doing a great job at commentating because they are pulling him from wrestling completely (according to the Ross Report). I never thought Tazz could make it as a ME in the WWE but I always thought they could've found an effective use for him. He should do commentary in his Taz character from ECW. He did it one time in an Eliminators match and he was better that way. Now it's all he can do not to climax on air whenever Hogan comes out.

Exactly. I'm not asking him to shoot on everyone like he did in ECW, but my God, this guy used to talk shit so much I thought he was made of it, and now he might as well call himself Evad Sullivan for all that it matters.

[Guest claydude14]

lets just hopefully they don't do the same for D'Lo

 

ah, d'lo and coach. the whitest all black announce team ever...

then again, aren't they the only all black announce team ever (including sports)

[Guest EricMM]

Say what you will, I just saw HeAT and Coach and D'lo were so much better than the SD/Raw teams it was scary. They pushed Psychology, they called the everloving match, and they actually did a good job.

 

Raw, frankly, has an announcer who rarely contributes anything except lady jokes (but when he does hes actually good IMO) and a guy who has become such a stupid face shill it's rediculous, AND he passed it on to his counterpart. Ross is skilled at making a match seem more than it is at key points and noone can take that away from him, but I hate the two sidedness of it all.

 

SD! has Cole and Tazz. Frankly, nuff said. Cole is the biggest fakest sounding shill I've heard on WWE. He tries hard, he makes a killer video package, and when the rock makes fun of him it's very funny, be he doesn't entertain me as much as he annoys me, and thats NOT ratings! Tazz is a shitty heel (if he's even supposed to be one) but at least he does some things right IMO. His corny jokes and laugh portray some kind of asshole heel.

 

Whereas Coach and D'lo have chemistry, they call moves, they call cheating cheating (if its face cheating IT'S STILL CHEATING!) and they bring IMO not only a differnt sound but a different style. Without the constant favoritism shoved in your face it almost sounds legit.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

I'd still like to see proof that Cole does the montages, the motherfucker has 0 talent.

 

Cole isn't even credible. Tazz COULD BE if he started talking about the dynamics of wrestling like Gorilla and Jesse did, but Cole is just a moron. Cole says that John Cena impresses him, who gives a fuck who impresses Cole? What sign has Cole shown of being able to make an informed, intelligent, judgement on any wrestler? The Wwf in general lacks credibility, but Cole personifies it.

 

Tazz bothers me as well, but generally because he is so passive next to Cole. Raven and Coach were the best team going in the Wwf (which isn't saying much, but they were still good). Raven gave insight, Coach kept the flow going, and Raven thought he was better than Coach because Raven actually has been in the ring and knows what it is like.

 

The King rarely ever adds anything to a match, no great insight, and very little *funny* humour. The only time he made me laugh came on Monday talking about how Bradshaws diploma could get him a handicapt spot in a parking lot. The only thing him and JR add now to Wwf programming is familiar voices.

[Guest Gomezticator]

I guess Vince doesn't like the idea of a true heel commentator, a POV that doesn't mindlessly shill Vince's faces.

 

An example: before Survivor Series '90, Jesse Ventura left, and Vince decided, for the PPV, to pair Gorilla Monsoon with a face Roddy Piper. The two men mindlessly shilled for all the faces during the PPV and it still gets annoying to listen to when I watch the tape today. I think Vince was trying to stick it to Jesse with the face-face team, to show that his show didn't need a heel commentator to get the angles over.

 

Um, no. I feel the alternative POV is part of what makes the shows fun. Unfortunately, the Billionaire 'Genius' doesn't agree. Hence the watered down, shill-oriented color commentary we get today.

[Guest GenerationNever]

If Taz was his ECW character he would bitchslap Cole whenever he made a stupid comment. On second thought...bring back ECW Taz!

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

I would rather have Cyrus at the desk with Cole, he would have a FIELD DAY punking that lil bitch up.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

I'd still like to see proof that Cole does the montages, the motherfucker has 0 talent.

 

Cole isn't even credible. Tazz COULD BE if he started talking about the dynamics of wrestling like Gorilla and Jesse did, but Cole is just a moron. Cole says that John Cena impresses him, who gives a fuck who impresses Cole? What sign has Cole shown of being able to make an informed, intelligent, judgement on any wrestler? The Wwf in general lacks credibility, but Cole personifies it.

 

Tazz bothers me as well, but generally because he is so passive next to Cole. Raven and Coach were the best team going in the Wwf (which isn't saying much, but they were still good). Raven gave insight, Coach kept the flow going, and Raven thought he was better than Coach because Raven actually has been in the ring and knows what it is like.

 

The King rarely ever adds anything to a match, no great insight, and very little *funny* humour. The only time he made me laugh came on Monday talking about how Bradshaws diploma could get him a handicapt spot in a parking lot. The only thing him and JR add now to Wwf programming is familiar voices.

Yeah, I really can't see an upside to Cole. However, the downside is made much worse when his ridiculous statements like "this handicap match has become a 2 on 1 affair" go completely unanswered. Of course Tazz could get over the wrestling if he did it right, but frankly, Tazz's idea of that is "that was a nice drop kick" and "you rarely see that kind of suplex" these days. Putting over the moves is all find and good, but when was the last time anyone talked about why they do those moves, and what they accomplish? I mean, I know it doesn't really matter since Cole is the personification of innept comentary, but I don't think Tazz has the will to do it by himself, either.

 

I never heard Raven's heat cometary, but his performance on the Memphis Raw where he just tore into Lawler was quite impressive. Maybe he's still getting heat from "shooting" on RVD in his match with credible a few weeks back.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Wrestlemania 5. Not a good card at all, but made watchable by the commentary. A sleeper cuts off the flow of oxygen to the brain and the muscles thus weakening the opponent. Back when Gorilla and Jesse were announcing every move meant something. No matter how simple, no matter how silly, the move had its place in the match and they said what it was.

 

The best description we would get of a sleeperhold would be 'a nice leg lace takedown' from Cole. The Wwf once had good announcing, where did it go?

 

Really, bad announcing not only hurts the show, but hurts the 'new' fans as well. I consider myself blessed to have listened to Monsoon and Ventura, they educated you. Cole doesn't educate, JR doesn't either (JR can give a match emotion, which is better than the technical stuff, BUT all does today is add cliches and his emotion isn't genuine at all.). So now what we have is a group of uneducated fans who won't and can't appreciate the finer points of wrestling.

 

Did I mention I REALLY hate Michael Cole?

[Guest Trivia247]

The scary thing is that the WWE must think Tazz is doing a great job at commentating because they are pulling him from wrestling completely (according to the Ross Report). I never thought Tazz could make it as a ME in the WWE but I always thought they could've found an effective use for him. He should do commentary in his Taz character from ECW. He did it one time in an Eliminators match and he was better that way. Now it's all he can do not to climax on air whenever Hogan comes out.

Exactly. I'm not asking him to shoot on everyone like he did in ECW, but my God, this guy used to talk shit so much I thought he was made of it, and now he might as well call himself Evad Sullivan for all that it matters.

Its Sad that is so WWE Institutionized Taz Into the WWE Marketed Tazz

 

It reminds me so much of that Heyman Work Shoot on Vince before Surivor Series when he called Taz a Killer, now he just a Sports entertainer a Fat commentator.

 

WWE have their own narrow view on their wrestlers and personalities and well Tazz to them fit a Commentator mold than a Juggernaught Suplex throwing Machine.

 

We probably never gonna find a Jesse Ventura for our time. Jesse wasn't just a heel, He Explained things, he explained how Moves worked, He defended his Heel behavior or opinions, as Jerry Lawler's Heelness consisted of BUTT Kissing Vince McMahon or hating bret hart or when a Face pins a heel 1.... Noo 2.... NOO....3 N O O O O !!

And Jesse Would Call on the shit that the Rockers would do or Hogan if they ever cheated or double teamed he get all over it.

[Guest Human Fly]

The Brain was a good heel commentator as well. He and Monsoon had great chemistry together.

 

It reminds me so much of that Heyman Work Shoot on Vince before Surivor Series when he called Taz a Killer, now he just a Sports entertainer a Fat commentator.

 

I knew Tazz's days of a serious wrestler were over in his mini feud with Stone Cold last year. Especially when Austin was calling out Booker T. and Tazz came up behind him. Austin's response was "Unless Booker T. got real short, and real fat real fast you're not Booker T." Tazz then cut a promo on Austin and then get beaten up if my memory serves me correctly.

 

I would rather have Cyrus at the desk with Cole, he would have a FIELD DAY punking that lil bitch up

 

That would be good. He would talk all the time about how Cole has never been in the ring and just point out what a moron he is. I would actually be in favor of bringing Styles and Cyrus in as the SD announce team. I know some people on this board don't like Styles, but he is leaps and bounds ahead of Cole. I also know that Styles turned down the WWE once, but maybe since he would probably only be needed once a week he would reconsider.

[Guest NoCalMike]

Styles is actually, leaps and bounds ahead of everyone currently announcing in the WWE. Everyone so far that has ranted on Styles, really never said why they don't like him, just random "flame" comments like, "Lawler is better than Styles, anyday" without anything to back it up.

 

Consider that Styles was at least GOOD, then consider he was doing it by himself, the comedy relief and the calling of the match. I know I for one prefer him over anyone right now in WWE....

[Guest RickyChosyu]

Styles is actually, leaps and bounds ahead of everyone currently announcing in the WWE. Everyone so far that has ranted on Styles, really never said why they don't like him, just random "flame" comments like, "Lawler is better than Styles, anyday" without anything to back it up.

 

Consider that Styles was at least GOOD, then consider he was doing it by himself, the comedy relief and the calling of the match. I know I for one prefer him over anyone right now in WWE....

Well, Styles at least tried to explain the wrestling every once in a while, which is indeed leaps and bound ahead of anything Tazz and Michael Cole have done. So yeah, he and Cyrus would be a fine addition, though it will never happen, since Styles arleady turned them down and Calis has heat with WWE management.

[Guest Human Fly]

Calis has heat with WWE management

 

Why is that? I've known he's had heat with them for a while, but I've never known why. It always seemed odd for someone who had such a small role on tv to have such big backstage heat.

[Guest NoCalMike]

I thought Shane Douglas was great the few times he did commentary with Styles, but I know WWE would probobaly never hire him back and it would be too awkward just bringing him back in as a commentater.

 

Stevie Richards was quite hilarious during the N2R'96 match between Raven/Sandman, but I am not sure if he rehearsed it a million times, or if actually came up with that stuff on the spot.

[Guest thebigjig]

Maybe when Jesse's term is up he could come back? There's probably no way, but it's a nice thought.

That would SO rule! I think he's got a good chance... he's obviously on good terms with Vince now since he was a commentator for the XFL so I can see it happening

[Guest chirs3]

Bah to all of you who attack JR. He's pretty darn good, and he's the best the WWE's got. I hope he sticks around for a long long time.

 

King should go back to the "McMahon can do no wrong and neither can anyone on the heel side of the line", instead of saying "Whoa, wait a minute Brock, don't do that!", he should be all "Yes, kick his ass Brock!"

 

Cole and Tazz should be scrapped entirely.

[Guest thebigjig]

Bah to all of you who attack JR. He's pretty darn good, and he's the best the WWE's got. I hope he sticks around for a long long time.

 

King should go back to the "McMahon can do no wrong and neither can anyone on the heel side of the line", instead of saying "Whoa, wait a minute Brock, don't do that!", he should be all "Yes, kick his ass Brock!"

 

Cole and Tazz should be scrapped entirely.

I think JR is the second greatest play by play man of all time only next to his mentor "The Dean" Gordon Solie. But lately JR hasn't really been showing the passion that he once had... however, you're right, he's the best they've got, and I honestly believe there is no one better

 

 

 

Even though I'm tempted to throw things at my TV whenever he uses one of his stupid phrase like "goofier than a pet coon." Jebus that's annoying

[Guest LesnarLunatic]

Steven Richards should be put in to commentate. Just because he's Steven Richards.

 

Either him or Al Snow.

 

SD team: Cole and Richards

Velocity team: Snow and Tazz

[Guest Metallica]

I would rather have Cyrus at the desk with Cole, he would have a FIELD DAY punking that lil bitch up.

lol

 

"The office are really pleased with you, you're making slow progress.."

[Guest Redhawk]

lets just hopefully they don't do the same for D'Lo

 

ah, d'lo and coach. the whitest all black announce team ever...

then again, aren't they the only all black announce team ever (including sports)

Actually, I saw Cheryl Miller and Mark Jones calling a women's college basketball game once. (Mark Jones is the guy who used to host "NBA Today" or something on ESPN. He's just as White as Coach, though)

 

Anyway, I think the entire WWE announcing team have been beaten down into complete tools and marks for the faces. Seriously.

 

Listen to Lawler three years ago and listen to him today. The only heel he really puts over (supports) is Vince McMahon and sometimes the nWo. He talks more shit about Molly Holly (a heel) than anyone. He talks some shit about Ric Flair (a face), but for the most part he's a babyface announcer.

 

Then listen to JR. Watch Royal Rumble 1998 and listen to how he puts over Shawn Michaels (Casket Match with 'Taker), even though Michaels is a heel. JR talks about how HBK is great and never really gets pissed at him or anything. He gives him credit when he's beating Taker's ass, and yet in still we all know he's still the heel. Then pop in the tape of SummerSlam 2001, and listen to JR totally bury Booker T. Whereas HBK would get credit for big moves, Booker "manages to somehow find a two-count" on his freaking trademark moves. Sad.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Is it me, or do all the 'new' Announcers (Kelly, Llyod, Coach, Cole) all sound the same? Talk about Attack of the Clones; They sound like fuckin X-Games announcers, but without calling the actual moves done and marking out over them "OH MY GAAAAAD! A twisty mc shake'n'bake on the raaaamp~! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT!"

[Guest Redhawk]

You know, we all talk about Triple H, but Jim Ross is the real villian as far as protecting his spot and holding people down.

 

Think about it: Ross is in charge of hiring announcers, so why would he hire someone who has the potential to unseat him as the top guy? Until he feels like retiring, he's going to hire shitty announcers so that he's No. 1 by defauly. In fact, he'll probably continue to hire shitty announcers after he retires, just so we can all say, "Damn, I miss JR. This guy sucks."

 

Also, if you saw "Beyond the Mat" than you know that JR will tell certain announcers what to say. So I think he purposely tells Cole to say retarded stuff.