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Eric Bischoff is creating gimmicks again


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Guest The Czech Republic
Posted

So Eric is in a creative meeting. My friend the Slovak Republic gave me this transcript.

 

VINCE: Okay, we have some OVW guys to call up, but we need to make them marketable. What do you guys have in mind?

PATTERSON: How about an ambiguous homosexual?

VINCE: No, Pat, five are enough for now. Brian, any ideas?

GERWITZ: Hold on a sec, I wanna find out what happens to Batman.

VINCE: Aw screw you, you're fired. Clear out your desk by Friday.

STEPH: No dad, give him a chance!

ERIC: Hey guys, I've got a character in mind. There's this marti--

VINCE: You're not doing Glacier again.

ERIC:....no. No I'm not. Wait a sec, I...forgot. ....oh yeah, I remember. There's a ninja, and--

VINCE: I said no Glacier!

ERIC: No, bear with me. I just came up with this. There's a ninja, and he's from, oh let's say Spain. He's really good-looking, and loves to fight, but doesn't want to damage his flawless physique. So he wears a hockey mask to protect his face, and has a claw on his hand to keep other guys from getting too close. He only wrestles in cage matches, and his finisher can be to jump off the side of the cage and kick the guy in the face.

VINCE: I like it! Very original! What's the guy's name gonna be?

ERIC: We'll call him Fertile Valley.

 

 

Look for Fertile Valley to make a big impact on RAW.

Guest bps "The Truth" 21
Posted

HHH not being in this meeting makes it seem all that more fictional.

Guest Shaved Bear
Posted

yea you should have put HHH dialouge in there

Guest bps "The Truth" 21
Posted

A simple final line like

 

HHH: Bring him in and feed him to me. (Poses, Spits Water)

 

Would have done the trick.

Guest DJ Jeff
Posted

I can't wait to see that dude debut in the WWE. Soon after he debuts, HHH will be holding him down.

Posted

Because backflips and yodeling do not equal INTENSITY!

Guest Sandman9000
Posted

What about his tag partner, a 7'6" Mui Thay kickboxer named, uh, named, ::C'mon brain, work::, named, ah fuck it.

Guest The Czech Republic
Posted

Oh yeah, that would be the Siamese Striker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In all seriousness, a Sagat ripoff would kick ass. Unless he started throwing fireballs at RVD and yelling "Tiger! Tiger!"

Guest Sandman9000
Posted

Unless he busted out the 78000-hit Tiger Uppercut. He could redeem himself that way.

 

However, the washed up boxer known only as Brawling Buddah would be worthless.

Guest mach7
Posted

I want to see a Blanka rip-off. I mean, c'mon, any wrestler who can charge his body with electricity HAS to get over!

Guest razazteca
Posted

lets not forget his valet, who is from China and has Princess Leia's hair.

Guest TheBlurricane
Posted

The funny thing is there really used to be a wrestler named Zangief way back when.....I don't think he had anything to do with Street Fighter...it was before that

Guest Shaved Bear
Posted
I want to see a Blanka rip-off. I mean, c'mon, any wrestler who can charge his body with electricity HAS to get over!

Hogan does that...

Guest The Hollywood Fashion Plate
Posted

Well I always thought that the Rock was ELECTRIFYING.....

 

(rimshot)

Guest TheArchiteck
Posted

LOL @bps's sig!!!!

 

Damn thats funny.

Guest Nevermortal
Posted

I'd mark for a wrestling Vega.

 

Vega was bar none, the best guy from any Street Fighter game. He did German Suplexes, moonsaults off the cage, slashed with a claw, and wore a mask!

Guest jester
Posted
I want to see a Blanka rip-off. I mean, c'mon, any wrestler who can charge his body with electricity HAS to get over!

Wasn't that going to be the gimmick of Shockmaster?

 

Personally, I think tripping on his big exit did everyone a favor, saving us from a long, painful gimmick.

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