Lawler

[Guest jester]

Molly: I've been training with Victoria, and-

 

Lawler: Molly, are you a virgin?

 

[Molly gets up, folds her chair, and lays out Lawler cold. Unfolds chair, sits back down]

 

Molly: Now, as I was saying, Victoria...

 

 

God, Lawler was horrible during that match. Molly obviously expected to talk about and put over Victoria, and he was just running all over her. They tripped over each other's sentences, then would be silent while trying to figure out who was going to talk. They are introducing a new wrestler to Raw, but Lawler's horseshit robbed her of the chance to get any steam.

 

Hear that WWE? His commentary is so bad it's interfering with a wrestler's push. In a division that has maybe two credible wrestlers and is in desperate need of new blood.

 

God, I so wanted Lawler to get struck by a meteor.

 

JR wasn't much better. As the lead commentator, he should be guiding and reigning in things. He had lost complete control.

 

Oh yeah, and I love this comment during the RVD/Jericho match, after RVD took that bump that looked like a few inches from a career-ender.

 

"That's not the way you're taught to--I mean, that's not the way you want to land..."

[Guest thebigjig]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Lawler needs to go

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

*During An RVD match*

 

King: Puppies...puppies....puppies

 

JR: There are no puppies here!

 

KING: PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES!

 

*meteor falls from sky...crushs King....Heyman runs out...laughs...takes a spot at the announce table*

 

Paul: ROLLING THUNDER~!

[Guest Flyboy]

Oh yeah, and I love this comment during the RVD/Jericho match, after RVD took that bump that looked like a few inches from a career-ender.

 

"That's not the way you're taught to--I mean, that's not the way you want to land..."

I think RVD takes those bumps like that on purpose, actually.

 

On topic, though: Fuck Lesnar. Put Heyman back on commentary! I agree with everything you said about Lawler.

 

I seriously think Molly was close to knocking Lawler the fuck out.

[Guest CanadianChick]

Lawler ALWAYS disgraces woman when he commentates. With him on commentary, the womans division just looks like a T'n A galore. It'll never be serious with him on commentary.

[Guest CanadianChick]

*During An RVD match*

 

King: Puppies...puppies....puppies

 

JR: There are no puppies here!

 

KING: PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES!

 

*meteor falls from sky...crushs King....Heyman runs out...laughs...takes a spot at the announce table*

 

Paul: ROLLING THUNDER~!

omg, you do not know how much I want to see that. I would start celebrating so much...

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

I would rather hear "GORE GORE GORE" than "Puppies!"

[Guest jester]

I think RVD takes those bumps like that on purpose, actually.

 

On topic, though: Fuck Lesnar. Put Heyman back on commentary! I agree with everything you said about Lawler.

 

I seriously think Molly was close to knocking Lawler the fuck out.

You're probably right, but man it looks dangerous. It made the move completely credible, but he is taking a huge risk with that stuff.

 

And Molly did sound completely fed up.

 

Did anyone notice if he mentioned her ass? He might have said it and I missed it, being preoccupied with slamming my head against my coffee table in an effort to get the sound of Lawler's voice out of it.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Did anyone notice if he mentioned her ass? He might have said it and I missed it, being preoccupied with slamming my head against my coffee table in an effort to get the sound of Lawler's voice out of it.

....that is not the way to take a bump...

[Guest CanadianChick]

Did anyone notice if he mentioned her ass? He might have said it and I missed it, being preoccupied with slamming my head against my coffee table in an effort to get the sound of Lawler's voice out of it.

no, I don't think he did. he was too busy making fun of her for being a virgin...so much better, right?

[Guest Quik]

We can only hope those same nine, well-meaning, Marine Smarks will come to our aid yet again.

[Guest The Man in Blak]

Hey, you're preaching to the choir here. I have never liked Lawler...even in the pre-Puppies phase, he never really added that much to the match.

[Guest deadbeater]

Gee, let Victoria get her feet wet first before working the 'Immaculate Virgin Molly' angle. It is potentially an awesome angle if handled right, as Molly herself does want to pursue it, but the start of it was very clumsy, as it overshadowed Victoria's very good debut.

 

They should have left Chris Nowinski's "Not for long" statement end the angle for this week. It would cement Chris's character as am alerky jerk, and leaves us wondering what's his plan for next week?

 

Molly is not shoot smacking down Lawler yet, because she has too much respect for him, having worked in his wrestling fed a while ago. Lawler meanwhile is abusing her respect for him and her modesty. That is not right. If however Lawler slipped in a BUTT joke, then there sure would have been Death on Raw, and Molly would be forever the most over person on the Internet. Hell, Death Valley Driver might put her #1 in their Joshi list just for that alone. Like how JR told Lawler to stop it, as if he doesn't, Molly will.

 

There is time for The Angle, and a time to debut new wrestlers.

[Guest bob_barron]

I'm a Lawler mark and always have been.

 

But tonight-

Fuck him. Fuck his shreiky voice. We were saying a decent womens match out there with the right commentary could've been put over and Victoria would've come out looking awesome.

 

Instead instead of focusing the match we get King harassing Molly. Go fuck a 12 yr old you sack of shit.

 

If its a T-n-A match then fine- go nuts. But it wasn't. The WWE is trying to get serious womens wrestling over and King is one of the reasons it aint working.

 

I hope JR told King to cut that shit out. Molly sounded really pissed

[Guest Flyboy]

I think RVD takes those bumps like that on purpose, actually.

 

On topic, though:  Fuck Lesnar.  Put Heyman back on commentary!  I agree with everything you said about Lawler.  

 

I seriously think Molly was close to knocking Lawler the fuck out.

You're probably right, but man it looks dangerous. It made the move completely credible, but he is taking a huge risk with that stuff.

 

This is off-topic:

 

Yeah... I think RVD bumps like hell to make his opponent look good.

 

He always takes bumps wicked.

 

Like... erm.. D'Von's Neckbreaker. Regal's Half-Nelson Release Suplex. And probably the most known Dreamer's piledriver in ECW.

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

The piledriver from hell~! He must've bounced a good two feet straight up.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

Lawler's only reedeming quality right now is his "My sources tell me..." schtick. But yes his commentary during women's matches takes their credibility three or four steps backwards every time he opens his yap.

I'd be all for Molly stomping a mudhole in Lawler's crotch and stomping it impotent. That'd be the greatest moment in the history of our great sport.

[Guest art_vandelay]

And the wonder why the crowd chants "Puppies" during the women's matches...

 

I really think he will be talked to about his commentary tonight, because anybody watching that could see it was a problem.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

Personally, I find it rather fitting that Lawler's demeaning-references towards women put alongside JR's weak attempts at making them sound like legitament athletes is the perfect archetype for everything wrong with the WWE when it comes to women.

 

Look at Trish: half the time she's put over as "an athletic women with a whole lotta gutts!!", but the comercial for Summerslam features copious shots of her cleavage as as she invites a large group of eager men to step into her touring ice cream truck for some "Stratisfaction." Doesn't there seem to be a conflict of interest here? I mean, I don't want to tell the WWE how to do business, but when did it become normal to give your Champion the task of ether getting over based on her virginity or having a big ass?

 

Seriously, are monkey's writing the shows? Gotta be.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Yea, the saddest thing about it was that it really was a great match tonight. HO POWER! Oh well, I have the same complaints about Lawler as always but he REALLY messed up tonight... it's like the announce table was dead. Thankfully Victoria's good enough in the ring to put over herself. Still though, it would've helped establish her a lot quicker.

[Guest NoCalMike]

Yah, I am still waiting for the "Lawler is better than Joey Styles any day of the week" comments to start coming out of the woodwork. Lawler needs to be terminated.

[Guest Vitamin X]

NEW COMMENTATING TEAMS:

 

JR/Heyman for RAW

 

Styles/Dallas Page (or even better Foley if he could come to terms with the WWE)

[Guest El Psycho Diablo]

I'd actually like Heyman/Raven..except they're both heels.

[Guest LaParkaMarka]

He shouldn't be fired guys...honestly, the marks seem to like him too much for that.

Maybe Steph should just steal the entire women's roster. Really, it fits with the talent raiding stuff, and maybe Raw could get one or two midcarders in return, or a few tag teams (Chuck and Billy, Val/Holly). That way Lawler stays the fuck away from women's matches.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

Molly sounded pretty frustrated, Lawler's jokes were missing ("Cherry Coke" would've made more sense if it was "cherry pop") and Ross was just kinda there and not saying much.

 

Lawler needs to go.

[Guest Si82]

Lawler does indeed have to go but so do most of the WWE commentators. To just look for guys who suck I mean look at the announce team on the programs. On Raw you have Jim Ross, who is constantly screwing up by calling guys the wrong names and doing the same with moves, & Jerry Lawler, a sad old pervert who constantly goes on and on about puppies and making jokes at the expense of Molly (man is she hot!). On Smackdown! you have Michael Cole, the worst commantor ever I can't stand this guy he is a devoid of talent and he is so patronising (STOP CALLING JOHN CENA "KID") and Tazz , OK i find him amusing but he still sucks. ON the b-shows we get Micheal Cole (again!), Mark Lloyd, he might as well not exist, Coach, The Rock's personal bitch, Al Snow, decent but should be wrestling and D-Lo Brown, never heard him commentate. I say bring back Paul Heyman and bring in Mark Madden, yes I thought he was entertaining, Joey Styles and Don Callis.

[Guest the pinjockey]

Molly sounded pretty frustrated, Lawler's jokes were missing ("Cherry Coke" would've made more sense if it was "cherry pop") and Ross was just kinda there and not saying much.

 

Lawler needs to go.

Exactly. He isn't even entertaining and witty when he says this stupid shit. Lets see for the fat jokes he just took everything from the big book of fat jokes and then last night it was like Ok what has the word cherry in it, "Hey Molly do you like cherries, huh huh, Cherry coke, huh huh, cherry pie, huh huh." If you are going to bury a segment at least be creative anout it.

 

Ross also needs to go after that. His performance has slipped alot lately and he should know better than to let that go on and on and on. I doubt anything would actually happen though. Ross might mention something to Lawler, but any action Ross would go to bat for Lawler just because he probably does not want to be with Heyman again or anything. And Ross isn't going anywhere supposedly being too much of a "fixture" on Raw and having the position he does.

[Guest danielisthor]

Seriously, are monkey's writing the shows? Gotta be.

 

Big Dumb monkey's named Kronk.

 

 

 

Anyways i have to really agree. In a division that gets no respect, because half the time the title changes hands in gimmick matches and what seems to be a move to more athletic woman, Jerry needs to calm the whole "puppies" crap. When the division was filled with big breasted woman with no talent like Sable, Terri, and Debra thats one thing. But now that there are actual athletes, there needs to be more emphasis on their athletic abilities.

 

As far as Victoria's debut goes, i thought she did very well and hopefully the TE 2 winners take their time in Ohio serious like Victoria seems to have. She's come along way since being one of Godfather's Ho's. Good work.

[Guest jester]

Personally, I find it rather fitting that Lawler's demeaning-references towards women put alongside JR's weak attempts at making them sound like legitament athletes is the perfect archetype for everything wrong with the WWE when it comes to women.

 

Look at Trish: half the time she's put over as "an athletic women with a whole lotta gutts!!", but the comercial for Summerslam features copious shots of her cleavage as as she invites a large group of eager men to step into her touring ice cream truck for some "Stratisfaction." Doesn't there seem to be a conflict of interest here? I mean, I don't want to tell the WWE how to do business, but when did it become normal to give your Champion the task of ether getting over based on her virginity or having a big ass?

Except for the obvious idiocy like Molly's ass and virginity, I don't see why they can't have it both ways, at least to some extent. Trish was obviously brought in for her looks. But now, she's not a half-bad wrestler. She's trying hard, which is more than you can say for a lot of the roster. Could commentators simply say that she's both a great wrestler and a beautiful woman?

 

Lawler's problem is that he's supposed to be a heel commentator (more or less), but he's also got to drool over the cleavage, so he has to like Trish, even though she's a face. If we were back in the Jesse Ventura days, he might admit that Trish was good looking, but Molly was a better athlete and mysteriously failing to notice her feet on the ropes.

 

And in that match, he'd be praising Molly for training Victoria so well.

 

sigh

[Guest mach7]

I TOTALLY agree! I even found myself saying "SHUT UP, LAWLER!" during the match! God, so annoying...