I am the Champion!

[Guest Rob Edwards]

Well it's not in the same league as the WWE-ian Rhapsody but I quickly realised that Bohemian Rhapsody is pretty much the ultimate song to write comedy lyrics for, but anyways! To the tune of "We are the Champions" by Queen, the whole thing is being sung by my good freind Hunter Hearst Helmsley sang in the general direction of Chris Jericho!

 

 

 

You give your views

Think it's your time

Here is your sentance

You've commited the crime

Of me Triple H

Being slower than you

I'll give you shoves and high knees to the face

Till you see the truth

 

Everybody say Hunter, Hunter, Hunter UHHHH

 

I am the champion again

and you'll keep on jobbing till the end

I am the champion

I am the champion

You are all jobbers

and I am the champion

Of the world

 

Your technichal nous

and those Jericho walls

You can take your good fotune and stick it

Cos of the curtain call

I was jobbing for ages

And so will you

Cos I consider you a challenge

So I let the bosses daugter sit on my face

So I'd never lose

 

Everybody say Hunter, Hunter, Hunter UHHHHHH

 

I am the champion my freind

and you'll keep on jobbing till the end

I am the champion

I am the champion

You are all Jobbers and I am the champion

Of the world

 

You are a jobber my freind

and i'll hold you down till the end

I am a champion

I am THE champion

Don't talk to jobbers

Cos I am the champion

 

(end)

 

If anyone has any ideas for songs we can get an album going

 

I think Goodness gracious, great hoss of fire may be next!

[Guest Anglesault]

Pretty good.

[Guest Trivia247]

geez this is gonna become a trend

[Guest BAR]

I want to hear 'Goodness, Gracious, Great Hoss of Fire!' I'm laughing at that one already.

[Guest Pop Culture God]

If WWE exeds see this, do they say "Hmmmm, maybe we should take the strap off HHH?" or "Man, look how over Hunter is as a heel! HE'S ME'ing WrestleMania now."

[Guest Midnight Express83]

Taker and HHH duet:

"We Will Job You" by Queen

 

Jericho solo

"Jobbed In the End" by Linkin Park

 

Booker T

"Its a Robbery" by Nappy Roots

 

Rikishi, Big Show, Mark Henry

"Fat Boys" by the Fat Boys.

[Guest Anglesault]

Dream On by Aerosmith. A lot of good things to work with, including lines mentioning something about paying dues and fans coming to you. Plus, The Dream On Part could work great as a Trips motivational speech.

[Guest Sandman9000]

Something to the tune of that Stonecutters song from the Simpsons.

 

That's a gold mine waiting to be tapped.

[Guest The Czech Republic]

(Hunter and Steph singing)

Who keeps Mysterio on the ground

Who has that Y2J held down

We do, we do.

 

Who makes all of the head-drop bans?

Who cancels all Paul Heyman's plans?

We do, we do.

 

Who threw Shawn Michaels through a car?

Who just makes their own selves, a star?

We do, we do...

[Guest Neil-o-Mac]

Here's my efforts...

 

WE WILL JOB YOU (No prizes for guessing the tune to this one)

---------------

 

Hunter you're a boy with a big nose

Layin' Stephanie gonna be the world champ some day

You got mud on yo' face

You big disgrace

Godwinn kicks your ass all over the place

Singin'

 

We will we will job you

We will we will job you

 

Brocky you're a young man hard man

Shouting Bisch's face gonna take the world belt away

You got smirk on yo' face

You big disgrace

Rikishi gonna stick his ass into yo' face.

 

We will we will job you

Sing it

We will we will job you

 

Hogan you're an old man poor man

Pleadin' not to job gonna make you my bitch today

You got blood on your face

Big disgrace

Triple H gonna put his knee into yo' face,

 

We will we will job you

Sing it

We will we will job you

Everybody

We will we will job you

We will we will job you

Alright

 

HOLD THE JOBBER DOWN (To the tune of 'Tie Your Mother Down' by Queen)

--------------------

 

I've been layin' down

Had my push scaled down

Got my ass beaten baby

Got my timin' right

Got my act all tight

It'll never matter not fuckin' Stephie

 

Triple H says you don't

And Undertaker says you won't

And I'm boilin' up inside

Ain't no way I'm gonna lose heat this time

 

Hold the jobber down

Hold the jobber down

Lock Steve Austin out of doors

I don't need him nosing around

Hold the jobber down

Hold the jobber down

Give me all your heat tonight

 

You're such a fiery hoss

Go get suckin' the boss

That's all I ever get from your

Jim Ross ties, in fact I don't think I ever heard

A single little civil word

from those midcard guys

But you know I don't give a light

I'm gonna make out all right

I've got a sweetheart McMahon

To put a stop to all that

Jobbin' an' scratchin'

 

Hold the jobber down

Hold the jobber down

Take your tag team partner swimmin'

With a brick (that's all right)

Hold the jobber down,

Hold the jobber down

Or you ain't no friend of mine

 

Your internet smarks are gonna

Plague me til I die

Why can't they understand I'm just a

WWE lovin' guy

Hold the jobber down

Hold the jobber down. . .etc etc. . .

 

GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT HOSS A-FIRE (Again, a no-brainer)

-----------------------------------

 

You shake the ropes and you rattle your chains

Too much roids drives a man insane

You broke my ass, your work is class

Goodness, gracious, great hoss a-fire!!

 

I laughed at Rey 'cause I thought he was funny

He came along and maaaade me money

Not changed my mind, Bradshaw is fine

Goodness, gracious, great hoss a-fire!!

 

Kiss me baby, wooo feels good

Hold me baby, wellllll I want to push you like I never should

You're fat, sooo fat

All the smarks'll say I'm a twat, twat, twat

 

I chew my nails and and I puff on Rob's bong,

I'm real nervous that Test didn't catch on

C´mon baby, I'm sure not crazy

Goodness, gracious, great hoss a-fire!!

 

I might try and do something wierd like making Dream Theater's 'Metropolis Pt. 1' into a wrestling tune. I can see it now...

 

'The boss's son,

Arrives early May,

He carries a Test from Bret's home,

The Smarks shed a tear,

To tell them of fear,

And of sorrow and pain,

They'll never outgrow,

 

Test is the first Hoss Eternal,

 

There's no more jobbing,

The both of you will be confined,

To this push,

 

I was told there's a Mysterio,

For each day that I try,

I was told there's a new Benoit born for each one that has died,

I was told there'd be no-one to cheer on when I feel like punching the screen.

I was told, if you dream of the big belts, you'll find yourself

Swimming in a midcard spot,

 

As a child, I thought I could live without Vince,

Without Hunter,

But as a man,

I found it's all caught up with me,

I must job when I'm told or die...

 

Somewhere, like a scene from a memory,

There's a push that's worth a million bucks,

As I stare at glass cieling above me,

Push slinks away, will never been seen of again,

 

The push now belongs to the Hunter

 

The McMahon's cold blood teaches me to survive,

Just keep you 'nani on my face and I'll stay alive,

 

The Kliq arrives

 

(standard Met 1 instrumental section, with the nWo pr0n music thrown in for shits 'n' giggles)

 

....

 

And this is where I've got stuck, but friggin' hell, that's most of the song

 

Neil

[Guest AlwaysPissedOff]

While some of these are slightly amusing, this folder's for serious discussion. Let's leave the song parodies in NHB.

[Guest Anglesault]

While some of these are slightly amusing, this folder's for serious discussion.

Yes! Now back to the Bradshaw anal rape jokes...

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

For once, I laugh at an AngleSault joke...

 

"Enter Bookerman" (NOT pro-Booker T, but instead about HHH being the bookerman)

Say your prayers, vanilla one

Don't forget, my son

I don't job to anyone

 

I tuck you in, near my shins

Hope your arms are thin

Until the 3-count comes

 

Don't let your mouth stay open

Or I'll send Bradshaw by

 

Exit ring, (don't talk about)

My small thing

Taaaaaaake it like a man...

You're off to the jobber land

 

Nothing's wrong, I'm always right

I wish my hair was still bright

I'll make Steph my wife

 

Dream of glory, dream of power

Propose my plan to Vince in an hour

To make you a jobber for life

 

Don't let your mouth stay open

Or I'll send Bradshaw by

 

Exit ring, (don't talk about)

My small thing

Taaaaaaaaake it like a man

I'm sending you to jobber land...YEAH-UH~!~

 

(obligatory Kirk Hammett solo, with "I AM THE GAME" repeated in the back, and the sound of water being spit)

 

Now I lay me down to sleep (now I lay me down to sleep)

Pray the Lord my position to keep (pray the Lord my position to keep)

And if I job before I wake (and if I job before I wake)

Pray the lord my belt they don't take (pray the Lord my belt they don't take)

 

Hush, stupid midget, don't say a word

Don't mind what you might have heard

My nose is the best for the biz

All I have to do is like Vince's jizz

 

Exit ring, (don't talk about)

My small thing

RAAAAAAISE MY HAND-UH~!~

Exit ring, (don't talk about)

My small thing

Taaaaaaaaaake it like a man...

I'm sending you to jobber land...yeah-uh...

 

 

Sorry...

[Guest snowfan]

While some of these are slightly amusing, this folder's for serious discussion.

Yes! Now back to the Bradshaw anal rape jokes...

I wonder who Bradshaw has hired to help him hold down the Hazees....?

[Guest Dmann2000]

Some one needs to write one about Austin's recent troubles and call it "Stone Cold's Crazy"

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Yeah, move this to NHB, because I don't want to post one of these and then have it deleted or something.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge