Hossapalooza 2002

[Guest notJames]

With all the problems WW_ has been facing lately, one would think they'd try to boost interest in the sport by pushing wrestlers who are both interesting and can wrestle (which has been proven to work considering SD!'s superiority over the SE-laden RAW). Instead, we get (in alphabetical order)...

 

Albert - A hirsute lump of fat and stud piercings, seemingly a DNA experiment gone horribly wrong between Steve Austin and George Steele. Taking out the former SD! tag champs reeks of desperation to amortize the cost of keeping him on the payroll.

 

B-squared - Another push for TAFKA Sniper, this time as a mute sidekick in Too Cool v2.0. What has he done to deserve this renewed push, especially after being D'Lo'd to OVW? Rest assured Protoype is being sacrificed to the Quiche as a springboard to get Buchanan more exposure, which nobody wants.

 

Batista, Dave - Once the much-touted OVW star Leviathan, it's now obvious that the gimmick made the man, because his offense, though brimming with "ruthless aggression", is nondescript and nothing we haven't seen before by more colourful competitors. If he jobs to Kane, consider him driftwood.

 

Big Show - An undeserving recipient of a multi-year, big figure contract, turning heel and face faster than a Firebird splash, shunted up and down the card for all of his WW_ tenure, even serving purgatory duty in Ohio for lack of motivation and being unable to see his own toes, Paul Wight has now derailed the LesnarTrain to be the new SD! champ, and we're supposed to buy it?!? And now it looks like Angle is being fed to the heat vacuum as a deus ex machina for his knee scope. Didn't Show's first impotent reign tell them anything?

 

DeMott, Bill - wCw reject, 11-year "veteran" who only stands from the other hosses because he can do a backflip. Bravo, Mr. Tough Enough. Now go back to eMpTyV and pal around with your erstwhile doppelganger Jonah. I don't even want him on Velocity.

 

Kane - So which is he, Undertaker's burn-victim of a half brother released from a psycho ward, or a misunderstood wallflower who may or may not have fucked a dead girl? You're right, who cares. My interest in him peaked at Badd Blood. I hope Dave-iathan tears his quad.

 

Rikishi - So they're pushing their newly turned rookie John Cena by constantly jobbing him to the "fun-loving guy who loves to have fun"? He's barely gotten by as a badly-dancing sideshow geek who can't even out-rap a white guy pretending to be a horrible white rapper. Back that ass up... all the way out the door.

 

I won't go into the obvious targets like 'Taker, Bradshaw and Mark Henry since they've fallen off the radar as of late, but it's pretty obvious that Vince McMahon's love of beef is choking his company's system to the point of near coronary distress; i.e., the wrestlers and the fans are losing heart. To make a more disgusting analogy, this low-fiber, high protein diet of hoss-meat Vince is feeding us is severely blocking up our nether regions, to the point where, sooner than later, we literally won't give a shit anymore.

 

Like Jack Nicholson once said, "This town needs an enema."

[Guest BillyTheStud]

B-squared is great.

[Guest buffybeast]

As are Albert and Bill Demott. Kane is a usefull big man, too.

 

It would be silly to release Rikishi. do you see/hear the pops he gets? I know SD is taped and some of the pops are piped in. But I constantly read that Rikishi receives good sized pops at house shows.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

B-squared - Another push for TAFKA Sniper, this time as a mute sidekick in Too Cool v2.0. What has he done to deserve this renewed push, especially after being D'Lo'd to OVW? Rest assured Protoype is being sacrificed to the Quiche as a springboard to get Buchanan more exposure, which nobody wants.

SK said in his SD rant: "I don’t know why they’re even insulting our intelligence by pretending Cena is the benefactor of this “push” when it’s obvious that Bull is going to be the one who ends up with all the TV time."

 

I thought he was crazy since Cena is homegrown talent too and has been hyped up ever since his June debut. But then again, JR's love for Buchanan may lead me to believe Keith.

 

Batista, Dave - Once the much-touted OVW star Leviathan, it's now obvious that the gimmick made the man, because his offense, though brimming with "ruthless aggression", is nondescript and nothing we haven't seen before by more colourful competitors. If he jobs to Kane, consider him driftwood.

 

Yes, the pinfall he got against Kane a couple weeks ago, while cheap, should have been the end of it. Now there will probably be a rematch at Armageddon with Kane winning, and all the hype will be for naught.

 

Like Jack Nicholson once said, "This town needs an enema."

 

LOL! I recall thinking that exact same quote shortly after last year's Vengeance. Twelve months later and it still is needed.

[Guest razazteca]

Hirsute is a term used for women, ALBERT is a Bear why do I know these things?

 

I still wonder why KANE gets a main event push after every reinvention of his character. Which usually starts with a random Hoss style cliche run in with pyro entrance, Bawh Gawh its Kane, business is gonna pick up now. Now that they killed his character, I fear another big push as Kane the Biker with a 3 wheeled motorcycle.

 

Dave Batista still needs to have a match longer than 2 minutes. Hoss squash matches are just overused and boring now.

[Guest notJames]

Hirsute is a term used for women...

Not necessarily

 

In regards to Kane, I think Vince feels extremely guilty on some weird level for saddling Glen Jacobs with the Isaac Yankem gimmick, and that this is his way of avoiding whatever circle of Hell is lined up for him next. Because logically, there is no reason to keep Kane in the upper midcard, especially with the no-selling and the punch-punch-zombiesitup crap he's been doing forever.

 

The unfortunate thing about Batista is that unless he's fighting a smaller guy, we the audience must be subjected to HossConflict, as illustrated by his upcoming matchup with Kane. I can barely stand two minutes of his yelling clotheslines and vanilla power offense. How do they expect me to stomach an extra six with the Big Red Raping Machine? Which is the lesser of two evils?

[Guest Human Fly]

7 or 8 years ago Bill DeMott could've been made into a big star, but now after all the injuries he's just another big guy who can do a sloppy moonsault. If that's what they want why not bring in Bam Bam?

[Guest notJames]

7 or 8 years ago, we had Vader.

 

DeMott wishes he was 1/10th what Vader was.

[Guest notJames]

Why replace DeMott with an even older, more broken down fat guy with a moonsault?

[Guest dreamer420]

Damn this subject if fucking tired.

[Guest razazteca]

in the porn business hirsute is female and bear is male....even Dave Antrel of Insommiac used bear in this manner.

 

Dave Batista looks like he has potential but at this slow pace and my slow attention span I could careless about him at this moment.

[Guest Human Fly]

Why replace DeMott with an even older, more broken down fat guy with a moonsault?

 

Bam Bam could do the same thing, and probably get a better reaction. He still sucks, but DeMott does now as well.

[Guest dreamer420]

Sadly Bam Bam had to retire not too long ago due to back problem. I think it was kind of unexpected for him too.

[Guest Nater]

Albert - Put the shirt back on or get out of my face.

 

B-squared - Not enough time, but I'll get tired of Rikishi squashes right quick.

 

Batista, Dave - Diet Brock. Not Brock enough.

 

Big Show - This is his guaranteed run? Horse with a broken leg ... just end it.

 

DeMott, Bill - working off of the whole big guy with a little bit works for me. I could watch hosses snap on people (because they feel inadequate about themselves) all day.

 

Kane - Storyline killed him. Start over. Zombie mode please.

 

Rikishi - Less chat, more Matt.

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

It would be silly to release Rikishi. do you see/hear the pops he gets? I know SD is taped and some of the pops are piped in. But I constantly read that Rikishi receives good sized pops at house shows.

But no one at home pops for Rikishi

[Guest buffybeast]

We don't know that.

[Guest Human Fly]

All I know is that it is getting as bad or worse then the 1980s when it comes to pushing wrestlers solely based on size. Wrestling skill is secondary (really third because cutting a promo is more important then that).

[Guest buffybeast]

Wrestling skill is secondary (really third because cutting a promo is more important then that).

I, sadly, agree with that statement.

[Guest Goodear]

This is an odd list...

 

Albert has never been consistantly pushed or given angles. Basically he gets sent out to fill some minutes and that's about it. It shouldn't exactly be a surprise that he's not that over... why should he be? He's never really had the chance to get over other than that short IC title reign which was, once again, Albert going out and wrestling with no motivation.

 

DeMott and Bull aren't getting pushed right now as I see it. Sure, DeMott beat Funaki, but to be honest, who hasn't? Bull is playing second fiddle to a midcarder and hasn't said a word in the 3 weeks he's been backed. He's not the focus of the team, Cena is.

 

Kane has been the subject of the worse booking in history. Blaming him for the lack of reaction is like firing Jericho over the dog thing. Kane might not be a main event draw, but he's a servicable midcarder that pops the crowd and can pull an ok match out of people.

 

Rikishi is a career midcarder who never gets pushed any higher. You need that kind of wrestler to put over te new up and comers. And while he beat Cena before, I think its going to be Cena who wins the feud.

 

Haven't seen enough Batista.

 

Big Show sucks... agreed.