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Vanhalen

American Idol 3

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"I wish you hadn't said that" was the line of the night.

Yes, that was great.

 

On another note, I love it when people get told they're not going to advance, then loudly proclaim to the camera that the judges have made the biggest mistake of their collective lives. It always helps, of course, to have a loudmouthed friend trumpet the spurned contestant's "talent" profusely, using four-letter words for added emphasis.

 

Spurned contestant: "They just made the biggest mistake ever!"

Friend: "Yeah, they don't know real fuckin' talent!"

 

I think that was the case with Miss I-Lost-80-Pounds-And-Still-Can't-Sing.

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Does anyone think that Flashdance hired her "friend" as a choreographer and singing coach (and personal trainer)? Cause if I had a friend who sucked at singing and wanted to go on AI - I would tell'em straight up "you suck" and save them the trouble... because that's what real friends do. Flashdance's friend more seemed like someone who was there for money and was moreso a "yes" (wo)man than anything. The "well, you can hire people to change my voice and..." was particularly brilliant.

 

"Oh baby, I can turn you from a caterpiller into a beautiful butterfly"

 

"Really?"

 

"Oh yeah... for the right cost"

 

"Oh, I'll pay, I just wanna be on TV and make a lot of money"

 

"You will baby, you will"

 

*after audition*

 

"I can't believe what happen, where did it all go wrong?"

 

They're fools, baby, fools. You have talent, I see it, I know it, you're going to be a big star someday and make tons of money... speaking of which, your last check bounced...."

 

"I know, I know... oh... I'll ask my parents to wire me more money"

 

"Baby, say that with conviction! You're strong!"

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I can understand in the heat of the moment the friend telling them that the judges are stupid, but I wonder, do they feel like tools after seeing themselves on tv acting like asses after seeing how shitty their friends perform?

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What's with all the gay dudes? Now, I obvioulsy love gay bois, but I know they're not the only guys that can sing. So, either straight guys are too afraid to sign up, or they think they have to act 'gay' to win, or...they just didn't feel like showing all the straight guys. Whatever the case, even I was getting sick of all femmales.

Two words: Clay Aiken.

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My highlights of the night are probably the same as everyone else's, though I wish Simon would have been harsher with that hippie idiot.

Which one? The "I have a good heart." guy? That guy made me laugh my ass off.

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What's with all the gay dudes? Now, I obvioulsy love gay bois, but I know they're not the only guys that can sing. So, either straight guys are too afraid to sign up, or they think they have to act 'gay' to win, or...they just didn't feel like showing all the straight guys. Whatever the case, even I was getting sick of all femmales.

Two words: Clay Aiken.

Eh...I didn't even see the first/second AIs.

 

Heh...I love these challenges of Simon's. And this chick is scaring the fuck outta me.

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