Guest redbaron51 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 A Portugesse smoking monkey walks out with a tape record jammed up in its ass. Monkey (in a robotic voice): Fuck...You...Elk... Elk gores the Portugesse smoking monkey into 89347580423717171534829347892 pieces. Elk:........... *translation* JD is a dead homo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HVilleThugg Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Wait a second....who's realitycheck?? I mean, what's his character's name. Are you a noob? I'd wish you sign your posts so we all know who you are...sheesh. Damn noobs! HVT begins to eat the Smarkboards because they look so tastey and he's so damn hungry. Goro helps, but HVT flicks Goro's ear, and Goro runs away crying...only to be speared by Elk! Da "signing his post" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Whoever he is, he has an excellent taste in signatures. Chris Raynor shakes Z's han- ELK SPEARS THEIR ARMS OFF! 1-2-3! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Cutthroat walks out of a store. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 *JR appears with a headset* BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD, IT'S CUTTHROAT! CUTTHROAT IS COMING OUT OF THA STORE! OH MAH GAWD! OH MAH- ELK spears Cutthroat! Throat drops his milk and cookies and is pinned 1-2-3! Cutthroat: Foik! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest redbaron51 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 *Annie walks out of her house. Elk spears annie. I-2-3!!! Elk doesn't want to get off of Annie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! ELK, you can stop pinning Annie no- ELK SPEARS ME! 1-2-3! Back to Annie... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edwin MacPhisto Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Little Boy: Mommy, why is that Elk killing that pretty geisha lady? He's trying to jump over her but he just can't make it! Mommy: (whispers to little boy) Little Boy: Ohhh, so you mean they're fu-- SPEAR! SPEAR! ELK SPEARS THE LITTLE BOY...RIGHT IN THE FACE!!$()*!$!*)(!! 1! 2! 3! SLAMMA JAMMA! Mommy: No, Cutthroat, my beautiful angel! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest realitycheck Report post Posted April 27, 2002 ::The non-existant crowd 'ooh's' at the risque shown by Edwin:: Match Point. 30/Love. Your serve, Edwin. ::Edwin accidentially serves the ball into Cutthoats face at 103 mph! Ouch:: -Z ELK spears Z, just because you can't post on this thread without mentioning ELK! 1-2-3! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Muzz Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Sacred kills Sexton Hardcastle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Random members of the SJL/SWF are harrassing Cutthroat... HOLD, CITIZENS! *FWOOSH* It's... It's... IT'S... CARDBOOOOOOOOOOARD COMMMEEEEET! ELK spears Cardboard Comet in two. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 27, 2002 Cutthroat walks out of the store for real this time! The first one was a cardboard cutout. Cutthroat hops onto his motorcycle and drives off but turns around and runs everyone over. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest redbaron51 Report post Posted April 27, 2002 *Tyres disinigrated, as Cutthroat flips over scrapping himself on the pavement.* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 28, 2002 **Delivers the Sheer Drop Belly-Back Suplex to everyone 50 times each** That is all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Insane Clown Dan Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Ebola fills a urinal cleaning container with leeches, parasites, salmonella, HIV, gonnohrea, and of course, the ebola viruses, and then breaks a barbwire 2x4 over Deepthroat's face. Ebola piledrives Cutthroat into the hanous urinal fluid, and watches his skin blacken and rot off his bones. ELK sits his ass on Cutthroat's skull to pin him. ONE! TWO! THREE! ELK breaks Cutthroat's skull open with his hooves and takes a huge dump in his open skull. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Renegade Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Renegade tapes all the current happenings and wins the grand prize in "stupidest home videos". After winning the wad of cash, Renegade gives half of it to charity, and the other to hitmen all over the world, and tells them to kill the man with shit in his broken skull. (Cutthroat) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Renegade tapes all the current happenings and wins the grand prize in "stupidest home videos". After winning the wad of cash, Renegade gives half of it to charity, and the other to hitmen all over the world, and tells them to kill the man with shit in his broken skull. (Cutthroat) Would you like that in a drive-by style or a "take the guy into an empty field and shoot him in the back of the head" style? Maybe shoot the guy in an empty room and cut him up for an extra ingredient in pig slop, like in "Snatch". Or would you like me to kidnap him and cut off all his fingers and toes in 20 days, mailing each one to a different member of his family? ...aka torture him for a while. And yes, I am f'd up. Desensitized from reading too many morbid books about torture and death, I guess. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 The following post is rated R. You have been warned. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- NotJ: F**k you. Bo: Fuck man, you can fuckin' swear on this board. NotJ: F**k off. Bo: Stop the fuckin' asterisks, you can fuckin' swear! NotJ: Go f**k yourself. Bo: Fuck! ELK spears them both! 1-2-3! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Cutthroat rides off on his bike as everyone beats up on two Cardboard Cutthroats... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HVilleThugg Report post Posted April 28, 2002 HVT goes out of his house to smoke a cigarette and sees ELK spearing everyone in sight. Decides to go back in and work on his match. Elk spears HVT's house. Da "got that feelin'" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Edwin MacPhisto Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Edwin walks out of his house to smoke a cigarette and extinguishes it in Cutthroat's eye. Meanwhile, the Elk spears both Israel and Palestine, and George W. Bush says "I supported that all al--ACK!" TRANSATLANTIC SPEAR! 1! 2! 3! NEW LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD! NEW LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD VIA PINFALL! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HVilleThugg Report post Posted April 28, 2002 HVT goes over to Edwin's house to smoke a cigarette with him. Edwin puts his cigarette out in THugg's eye. THugg no sells, and spears Edwin straight to hell! Elk: Hey...that's my move bitch! HVT: Yeah...so? Blow me. Elk spears HVT into 32482397532846831274981 pieces... THugg no sells... Elk stares angrily at HVT no selling... Thugg remembers what King said...and sells. Da "will secretly no sell Elk" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 *books a "No-sell on a pole" match between ELK and HVT* *laughs as ELK whoops up* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ash Ketchum Report post Posted April 28, 2002 ELK SPEARS JD'S MOM!!!!!! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3! Suddenly, Cardboard Comet appears! ELK goes for the spear, but hits the wall behind Cardboard Comet! 1-2-2 63/64-CARDBOARD COMET ALMOST WINS1!! ELK gets up and punches Cutthroat! 1-2-3!!!! NEW JOBBER OF THE SJL!!! NEW JOBBER OF THE SJL!!! NEW JOBBER OF THE SJL!!! SJLers: ELK: ... UH-OH!!! ELK MUST NOW JOB TO ALL SJLERS BECAUSE HE REPLACES CUTTHROAT!!!! LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!! Actually, Ric Flair strips Elk of the WCW Hardcore Title, and THE SATELLITE FALLS ON JD'S MOM!!! 1-2-3!!! NEW WCW HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Muzz Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Sacred impales Ash with the Australian flag. Elk spears Sacred... and locks on a submission? Nah... 1... 2... 3! Elk wins! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Chuck Woolery Report post Posted April 28, 2002 Suddenly, Mike Van Siclen arrives, and impales Sacred on an American flag for stealing his flag spot! Sacred no sells! Mike Van Siclen KICK WHAM STUNNER!s the Boston Strangler, because he can't do that in chat because Strangler's an op! Suddenly, the ELK arrives and makes this whole post worthwhile by spearing Mike Van Siclen! ONE! TWO! THREE! Tack on another victory for the ELK! Suddenly, something the ELK finds smoething else that catches his eye! It's... OHMYGAWDZ! It's... G0R0! WoW! Suddenly, this post skyrockets to being only slightly more worthless than Cutthroat's! And, speaking of which... Mike Van Siclen KICK WHAM STUNNER!s Cutthroat, then picks him up as the ELK spears them both! ONE! TWO! THREE! Two more for the ELK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 *Nosells Ash being stupid* It should be Petro vs. the Elk in a no selling match! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest chirs3 Report post Posted April 28, 2002 ELK spears Petro! *laughs as Petro sells like a little biatch* 1-2-3! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
