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The OAO Raw Is Randy thread for 08.16.04

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*Thumbs down*

 

Awesome.  Godfather like.

*Triple H claps for him, gives him thumbs up---turns to thumbs down*

Orton (expressionless): "I know what you're doing, Hunter. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."

*Orton gets electric chair dropped and goes blank*

Ric Flair: "Randy, you're nothing to us now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. We don't want to know you or what you do. We don't want to see you at the hotels, we don't want you near any of our houses. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?"

Batista: "..Wait, what was that last part?"

 

ag.spnow.karh.x.x.img.gif

 

Hi, this is Opie.

 

That was hilarious. I like your witty banter, please sign this outrageous contract to screenwrite my remake of Robocop 3.

 

KHAAAAANNNNN

 

Thanks Ron Howard, but I'm my own man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

..what? Somebody had to praise my writing.

 

This post has been edited for canned laughter on Aug 17 2004 at very late at night

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Guest Staravenger

I wonder if everyone would be calling this a great RAW if it had a shitty crowd like Summerslam did.

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Some posters seemed to evolve with this thread as well.

Bah.

 

Okay, I'll bite.

 

How so?

Over the course of the show some warmed up to certain things, like HHH and Orton, and by the end people were blowing their load...to the extent that the site died for an hour, heh.

 

Some guys brought the funny who I rarely see do also.

 

Just overall a great ass thread, I enjoyed it.

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Guest GreatOne
I wonder if everyone would be calling this a great RAW if it had a shitty crowd like Summerslam did.

London was roughly a 1000% improvement (other than the Undertaker sign, who the hell brings that to RAW after Sept 02?) on Toronto, thank god.

 

Picture 'The Wave Of DEATH!~' during the Evolution turn.

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Guest Staravenger

I wanted a return of "Lita Is A Dumas" sign, but I can settle with the Bret Hart def. Flair and 16-Time Chump signs.

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Guest Trivia247

Batistia talking shit was interesting, normally he is the guy who is quiet but beats and dominates and destroys and maybe roars.. But there he is talking all kinds of shit to the fallen Randy Orton. Was rather cool.

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Guest Quik
I like that when I return to OAORaw, people clamor for classic. Makes me feel good, which hasn't happened muich with CWM always hurting my feelings. :(

Hold on there!

 

This has been a Triple team effort. Me, you, and MUGAZsasz deserve most of the credit here....

 

....and throw in Quik for that Carmella/Benoit picture too.

 

The most fun that I've had on TSM in quite some time.

Word is bond... Benoit can teach us all a thing or two about abstinence.

 

"Sex can wait, **Does the throat-cut thing** MASTURBATE!"

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:cheers: to the death of the first Evolution.

 

They should have tried to get Orton over as a face tonight, though.

They still have time to make him a face, or at least more sympathetic. Tonight just had a great cliffhanger ending.

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Guest Undying Fury
:cheers: to the death of the first Evolution.

 

They should have tried to get Orton over as a face tonight, though.

They still have time to make him a face, or at least more sympathetic. Tonight just had a great cliffhanger ending.

Agreed, the ending actually makes me want to watch Raw next week to see what will happen instead of just me watching it out of habit.

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Just for the shits, here is a "review" of RAW from TheMayhem/NoDQ.

 

A Keith Helinski Column

 

Before you read on, this is poking fun in a crude and perhaps unfair matter. Satire at best - with a blend of my unpopular thoughts on the side. If you are a loyal fan that takes things out of context and or has no sense of humor what so ever, please don't read and bitch about it...this is just a warning since this may hit a spot on many fans nerves. Think of this as a typical NoDQ Raw Review, done just a tad bit differently! ;)

 

Like any Raw after a big (rip-off) PPV event, an over-the-top interview with the (fill in blank - who happens to be Randy Orton this week) Champ speaks on his "epic-full" match and how he prevailed the three count and became the movie of the week. In other words, a bunch of "blah-blah-blah" regarding how he fought the best of the business today (or, perhaps - only business of today) and how he is the worthiness champ at the moment. Many people usually either boos or cheers the current champ, in efforts to actually go along with the current story line so further development can unfold as we speak. Just then, the sour-loser comes in with a big pop (who happens to be Chris Benoit at the moment) and either predictable, claims he deserves a rematch (which means another chance to prove one self, to the fans, and the opportunity that he is better then the current champion or, in subtext - means the same damn match done over so the people who didn't see the PPV could see what exactly took place - which also means you can 99% predict the same outcome will take place, defeating the purpose of the concept of "rematch" but is coated the term nonetheless) and or actually talked to the current powers-that-be (who happens to be by character but not by real terms, Eric Bischoff) and making the supposed deserved rematch a go - meaning, we will see the same damn match later tonight (and in case you forget that, will be mentioned all through out the night during most of the matches and after most promos - to make sure it won't be forgotten.)

 

After that "excixting" conflict, subplots emerge.

 

An All or Nothing Match, Rhyno vs. Sylvain Grenier occur. For the true WWE wrestling fans or techquie wrestling fans, this is real excicting. To the rest of us, *yawn!*

 

Bits and pieces, not really signfigant but connects just the same with the whole Kane/Lita ordeal. For some odd ball reason, how come this story line has been done before...(HHH and Steph a few years back when then ago called WWF was actually watchable.) This is the soap opera part of Raw - where wrestling is being disregarded and the lack of acting is being put to high volume. Kinda blends the entertainment vaule of the show but not really exicting...kinda a freakish *yawn*!

 

A promo of HBK coming back next PPV, where a beloved wrestler can go back into the hasbeen, "my name will gain 'some' ratings but my abaility to shine again won't happen cause I always let the writers screw my character up - this has been happening since the day I walked back into the WWE as a short-lived nWo member" land of killed off legends. Who knows, maybe WWE will give HBK another chance again...or maybe not!

 

This is the part of the show where the Divas shine. Ususally, because of timing or whatever - they ussually merge two or three diva subplots together, making it seem like they connect when in fact - they don't. They look kinda silly but look good while being silly. This appeals to the guys who likes to see chick fights and also has that girl-power-appeal to it...but anyway you want to look at it, this is the "eye-candy" moment of Raw.

 

The Kane/Lita soap opera unfolds some more - *yawn!*

 

A very corny Diva Search unfolds to near a climax period. It is noted with the many columns and reviews off NoDQ.com that this is the low point of the show (like there is actually a high point anyways.) This is, by all account - eye candy to raise ratings but much like Vince's very poor "cheerleaders in the locker room" period of XFL, I think Vince putting "daddy's girl" in a bathing suit will be much of an appeal for most. But by taste of the writers, we see big breasted ladies doing stupid and absurd things instead...*yawn*

 

Chris Jericho vs. Batista, by any case - I have nothing bad to say about Chris. However, the match was still boring nonetheless. Watching the most "wholesome" moments of Ric Flair is somewhat amusing - almost like watching Harrison Ford go from Indiana Jones to Hollywood Homicide, Ric Flair is at his lowest point of his career. But hey, if the guy likes doing very silly things - whatever floats the boat! The match ended at another cliché level - Evolution is the only stable at the moment, contradicting WWE's one self after criticizing on a Monday Night War DVD that all WCW has and did was nWo storylines and stables, which is a theory why WCW killed itself. Much like any politician speeches, WWE is right now walking on its own words without real thought...no wonder the writing sucks!

 

Soon after, Triple H gives this real heartfelt speech to Randy Orton - almost to the extreme that he spells out "I WILL IN A SHOCKING BUT 'INTERNET FANS KNEW WEEKS AGO' WAY THAT YOU WILL BE KICKED OUT OF EVOLUTION TO KEEP MY EGOTISTIC QUEST OF BEING THE ONLY BIG NOSED CHAMP ALIVE SINCE ROCK IS ALL HOLLYWOOD NOW, GOLDBERG SUCKED ANYWAYS, STONE COLD IS AN OLD FART NOW THAT CAN'T HACK IT, AND WWE WILL NEVER GIVE HBK A "BREAK" AGAIN, WHICH MAKES ME THE ONLY TOP GUY CHARACTER 'IN THIS BUSINESS', SORRY KID - IT'S THE ONLY REASON WWE HOLDS THE LITTLE RATINGS IT HAS - CAUSE OF MY SCREWBALL SPEECHES AND MY MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS REIGN OF BEING A COMPLETE AND UTTER JERK, DON'T WORRY - THIS WILL MAKE YOU FROM HEEL TO FACE IN MATTER OF MOMENTS, AMAZING THE POWER WE HAVE OVER THE PUPPETS [fans]".

 

Before fans are able to swallow that all up, the rematch between Benoit and Orton begins. And like predicted, it's the same damn match - just shortened for time and with commercial breaks to keep the drama going...and as predicted, the same out come happens. And as predicted weeks ago by those pesky Internet folks, Orton was kicked out of Evolution - and for a whole five minutes, Orton gets his ass kick...while doing so, Triple H yells some crap not sure anyone who speaks English could understand and that ends the show - unsatisfying, like most Raws are!

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Guest Staravenger

That douche (douche! douche!) really needs to get the sand out of his vagina.

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Yeah.

 

I just thought it would be interesting to see RAW be reviewed from the mind of a mentally challenged retard.

 

The only thing worse than a hardcore mark, or a hardcore smark, is a guy who THINKS that he's a hardcore smark.

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Had another bunch of fun tonight. I was in the section to the left of the stage on the floor (in front of JR & King), and again right against the guard rail, this time next to the ramp, and only 4 rows back from the ring. :D So I'm sure there was a big bald dude with a puffy red beard in a grey shirt and Leafs hat on camera at some point.

 

A guy, who I think was heading up security, put his coffee on the wall right next to me, so he talked to me a few times. One thing of note he said was something to the effect of "Last night was a disaster". He also got me to admit that Canadians are a little crazy. After that, every time he came over for a drink, he jokingly gave me an evil eye as though I'd been messing with his brew. I also shook The Fink's hand when he was headed out at one point.

 

Dark & Heat matches were:

 

Shelton Benjamin vs. Rory McDudeInAKilt

Val Venis vs. Rodney Mack

Maven vs. TatankaLookin'Dude

Rosey vs. Chuck Palumbo

 

When Randy came out to start, our section was cheering for him, but I think the crowd overall was against him. The confetti was everywhere. The crew was cleaning it pretty much the whole show, during breaks. I grabbed what was on me and my chair, and stuffed it in my pockets for some reason. I nabbed a balloon off the floor on my way out of the arena.

 

In case there was any confusion, the HBK Return sign started out like his entrance music, which got a big pop. Then the sign comes up, as in he wasn't there, so that was booed.

 

Being there for Orton winning the title, and then being turned on by Evolution, that's all pretty cool. But they both lacked the impact they could've had. They're rushing things, and I don't know why. Orton's gone from losing the IC Title, to having a rematch, to becoming #1 contender, to winning the title, to being dumped by his faction, in like 6 weeks. SLOW THE HELL DOWN! It was about this time last year that Goldberg kind of hit a hot streak, and they just blew through his title chase, win, challengers, and loss, all within a couple of months. Just because they can blow their wad that quickly doesn't mean they have to.

 

I'm trying to watch Raw now, but I'm falling asleep (it's been a long, draining couple of days, simultaneously some of the best and worst of my life), so I'll leave it at that. I might comment a bit more tomorrow.

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I didn't really like the ending (not only because I, along with everyone else saw it coming away, but because I hate Orton and foundthe match dull as hell) and I can't see where all the love is coming from. HHH's jealousy is a storyline that could have been played out over more than 1 show. I wouldn't like to see it as I would complain about HHH being all over the show with his jealousy of Orton, but really, he is going to be anyway with his feud vs Orton, so they might as well have played it out instead of doing it in 1 show.

 

Whatever.

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The way JR and the King reacted to it was so cool because it was totally different than anything they've done before. Normally JR would be going on "Damn Triple H! Damn him to HELL!" and the King would be shrieking something. JR's "Is Evolution really the solution?" line just as the show went off the air was absolutely perfect.

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I bet next week, there's a Benoit/Orton vs. Flair/HHH tag match and Orton turns back heel, just like the HHH/Flair/HBK stuff from mid-'03.

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Guest Staravenger
I bet next week, there's a Benoit/Orton vs. Flair/HHH tag match and Orton turns back heel, just like the HHH/Flair/HBK stuff from mid-'03.

Why?

 

Flair/HHH had a competitive match. Evolution made Orton their bitch and left him a bloody mess. The two are not really on the same level. Of course, WWE loves swerves so eh.

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Guest NaturalBornThriller4:20

Somewhat off topic, but...

 

Randy Orton = The Rock 2K4 (Well, sort of)

 

I can't explain it, but Orton reminds me of The Rock back in 98.

 

Anyway...

 

Next up for Orton: Batista or Ric Flair, I reckon.

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Guest
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