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Ess Dub Eff Smarkdown!

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The Gund Arena in Cleveland is roaring with cheers as the final show before the SWF’s flagship, Genesis V, begins.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” says the masked commentator, welcome to S… W… F… SMAAAAARKDOWN!”

 

“As always,” says his partner, “my name is Bobby Riley…”

 

“And I’m CYCLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE COMET!” bellows Comet, getting a small pop from the few fans sitting by the table. “This Sunday night at Genesis, we’ll see one of the greatest cards in SWF history, headlined by…”

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

In mid-sentence, Comet is cut off by a huge explosion of blue pyro and smoke that accompanies the opening strains of Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir.” The crowd reacts with boos, shouting vile insults as Tom Flesher and Allison Onita make a grand entrance from behind the curtain. Flesher is, as always, dressed for success, wearing a navy blazer with a blue and white striped shirt and a pair of dark jeans capped off with his trademark Doc Marten combat boots at a high shine. Allison follows behind, decked out in a fashionable powder-blue suit with pinstripes and topped with a matching fedora. Flesher strides to the ring, his chin jutted forward – clearly, he’s a man on a mission. The Cruiserweight Title shines from around Allison’s waist as she follows Flesher to the ring, then precedes him up the stairs and holds the ropes for him.

 

As the song breaks into its symphonic hook, Flesher poses in the center of the ring, and his standard machine-gun explosions go off in each corner. As they finish, the music fades out, and Flesher motions for a microphone. Allison hands one off from ringside, and the crowd quiets down for a moment.

 

“Oh,” says Flesher, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “is it GREAT to be back in Cleveland ….”

 

FLESHER SUCKS

FLESHER SUCKS

FLESHER SUCKS

FLESHER SUCKS

 

Flesher sighs and leans on the ropes, waiting for the crowd’s chanting to subside. He rolls his eyes and waits for a few moments until the chanting quiets down.

 

“There’s one reason why I’m out here tonight,” he says, “and that’s ….”

 

FLESHER SUCKS

FLESHER SUCKS

FLESHER SUCKS

FLESHER SUCKS

 

Once again silenced by the crowd, Flesher throws up his hands and leans on the ropes again. He waits another few seconds, and again the crowd subsides.

 

“I hope you’ve got that out of your system,” he says. “It’s really quite unbecoming of a crowd to interrupt the top athlete in the business when he’s come out here to try to explain a few things. Specifically, I’d like to dumb it down a shade for all of you and tell all of you exactly what I’m going to do at Genesis.”

 

Flesher adjusts his collar, clears his throat and brings the mic back up to his lips. “You see, it’s come to my attention that I’ll be taking on, along with one of the most talented men ever to hold the SWF World Championship, an arthritic baseball freak and … Landon Freaking Maddix? What is this, some kind of joke? What has Maddix ever accomplished to warrant being in a match with two SWF Legends and Mark Stevens? It’s almost like Mark plotted this out without a partner… he traded his dignity for a face to be named later.”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

“I know, I know,” says Flesher, with a feigned sigh of disappointment. “It’s sad for me, too, especially considering that Marky Mark was really hoping to win the big one. Believe it or not, I like the big lug… he’s not a bad guy, and he always bought the drinks on the road. There’s just one little problem… he never quite caught on that he was half out the door when Edwin MacPhisto retired him all those years ago. I think we all remember that guy who used to show up at our high school football games, don’t we? The guy who graduated six years ago, but kept coming out, wearing the varsity jacket that kept getting smaller and smaller, cheering on the team like he was still one of them? Mark, I’m sorry to say, has become that guy. He was talented once upon a time… he was a solid wrestler, although he never approached the skills of a Mak Francis or a Danny Williams, much less certain other technicians who shall remain nameless. He had a nice moonsault, but he couldn’t get off the ground enough to do anything interesting. And now that his knees are shot and he’s got a beer gut the size of Nebraska, how does he expect us to take him seriously?”

 

Flesher pauses to collect his thoughts.

 

“I’m sorry, Mark, but… I’m just going to have to put you out of your misery.”

 

As Flesher finishes his sentence, the crowd begins to boo again. This time, though, Flesher simply drops the mic. “Kashmir” kicks up again, and over the roaring crowd, Flesher struts out of the ring as the show fades to commercial.

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Card:

 

LAST MATCH EVAR BEFORE GENESIS FIVE OHMYGOD!!!!

“Grand Slam” Mark Stevens vs. Johnny Dangerous

~ Both men have got big plans for the biggest show of the year, but first they must fight eachother to the death! Makes enough sense. A win here could solidify Dangerous as one of the federation’s best modern competitors, while a win for Mark could prove that he’s finally and completely shaken off all of that damned ring rust… So yes, fight.

Rules: Standard-palooza!

 

ESCAPE-ONLY RULES CAGE MATCH OF DOOM!!

“The Icon” Max King vs. Candace

~ Candace is making some WACKY progression as a character, and Maddix is still wanting to prep himself up for his Genesis match. Eh, throw them together, only one comes out. Huzzah! Do your best pre-Genesis, my pretties!

Rules: It’s a cage match, so no disqualifications and all that fun stuff. No pins or submissions. One can win ONLY by escaping the cage by going OVER the top. The door is on vacation.

 

HANDICAPPED HARDCORE MATCH OF DOOM!

Andrea Montgomery and Birdman vs. Danny Dagda

Oh shit. Dagda barked up the wrong tree. And that tree is Zed. See where putting your feet on the commissioner’s desk gets you!? DO YOU SEE!?

Rules: Everyone in the ring at once. No DQ’s or count-outs. First to get a pin or submission wins. Woo.

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SWF Smarkdown returns from another fantastic commercial to an image of...an empty hallway. How fascinating. But wait! Footsteps! Not just any footsteps, light, possibly even feminine, footsteps. The camera pans around to focus on the source of the footsteps, Andrea Montgomery. She’s completely unaware of the camera directly in front of her, not that hard to do considering the time she’s spent with the SWF. Andrea continues on down the corridor, perhaps hoping to gain overness in the process. No, she stops in front of a door, turns the knob and walks in, the cameraman following close behind. As Andrea tosses her bag into an empty chair, several faint scuffling and thumping sounds emanate from several areas of the dressing room.

 

“Hello? Zenon said this was my personal room. Is there anybody in here?” Andrea asks, hoping with all her might that it’s not Ebony in there, crouching behind a chair.

 

Andrea looks around and behind each piece of furniture and is about to go back to her bag when she notices the slim set of lockers against the wall.

 

“Oh yeah, there’s that miniature Edwin around. Seems like more than enough room for him to hide out,” Andrea says, partly to herself and partly to the viewing audience.

 

Andrea glances around the room, looking for a weapon of some kind, finds nothing and decides to face whatever might be in the locker head-on. With a deep breath, Andrea grabs hold of the door and flings it open. Andrea sputters and takes a step back, allowing the camera to get a great shot over her shoulder. A great shot of tiny Chinese people in what would best be described as recreating scenes from the movie Cliffhanger. Andrea violently shakes her head, but the foot-tall Chinese people remain. She grabs the next locker door and opens it roughly with the same result. Tiny Chinese people with tiny climbing gear somehow sunk into the smooth metal surface of the locker, one hand outstretched, trying desperately to hold on to a companion below, all wearing wide-brimmed rice field worker hats. Fearing the worse, Andrea hesitantly opens the final locker, but instead of movie scene recreations, there are a multitude of tiny Chinese people skydiving, but still with the wide-brimmed hats. With three quick flicks, Andrea slams the lockers shut, walks to the middle of the room, and slumps down in a chair, massaging her temples.

 

“That...not real...too tired from workout this morning...that’s it...dehydrated...water...” Andrea mumbles to herself, trying to find some sort of explanation for the appearance of tiny Chinese people in her dressing room.

 

Andrea casts her eyes about the room and notices a mini-fridge situated in a corner. Relieved, she walks over, crouches down, and opens the door. A quiet sob escapes her throat, prompting the cameraman to rush over, broadcasting another group of tiny Chinese people, this time in tiny parkas and coats to help ward of the cold of the refrigerator, but the wide-brimmed rice paddy worker hats are ever present. Appearing to have accepted the tiny Chinese people, Andrea reaches inside for a bottle of water before she notices empty packets of macadamia nuts and other items.

 

“You little bastards! Zenon’s going to charge me for this! I can’t afford pretzels and what’s this? Scotch? You sons of bitches!” Andrea shrieks upon finding not one, but THREE tiny empty bottles of scotch.

 

Andrea lashes out, sending one of the miniature Chinese people flying across the miniature refrigerator. Rather than the expected reaction of cringing in fear, the remaining Chinese people begin clapping their hands and stamping their feet excitedly. Trying her best not to scream uncontrollably, Andrea slowly closes the door and sits down on the carpet.

 

“Okay, Andrea. There are tiny Chinese people in your dressing room. What to do, what to do...” Andrea says, trying to maintain some shred of sanity. “Simple, just round them up...round them up and...and let’s just cross that bridge when we come to it...” Andrea trails off.

 

Andrea grabs her bag, unzips it and dumps the contents on the ground. She marches over to a cabinet, breathes deeply and pulls the door open. The cameraman maneuvers around Andrea, showing the scene from her perspective. The scene, is...quite interesting. This cabinet houses the largest of the tiny Chinese people groups, as well over one hundred of them are in the small space. Their actions, are by far the oddest, too. They’ve taken matchbooks, ashtrays, bottle caps, paper clips, and other bits of trash and debris to make several barricades. Why would tiny Chinese people need barricades in a cabinet? They’re for the Civil War battle reenactment, of course! Tiny Chinese people, gray and blue period costumes (But still wearing those rice worker hats), some sprawled on the bottom of the cabinet, feigning death for a multitude of spectators, while a great many more dash about with tiny rifles, shooting at each other. And judging by the numerous fake beards, Antietam is being recreated at this moment.

 

“Okay, they’ve got sharp pieces of wood. No need for me to hurt myself over some damn tiny Chinese people,” Andrea rationalizes.

 

Defeated, Andrea walks back to put her things back in her bag before she notices something among her personal items. Her hand shoots down and closes around a can of hair spray. Andrea rushes back to the cabinet and crouches down, a bit of a demented look in her eyes.

 

“Okay you little bastards, you want to reenact some battles? How about some World War One stuff? OH NO, MUSTARD GAS!!” Andrea screams as she sprays the entire can into the cabinet and quickly slams the door shut, locking the tiny Chinese reenactors inside.

 

Several scuffling sounds come from the cabinet, but after a few minutes, silence. Andrea keeps the door closed, however, until a soft thump can be heard. She sits, waiting, until a staccato of thumps penetrates the air. Andrea slowly opens the door and sees all of the tiny Chinese people unconscious. She gathers them up and places them in her bag before moving on to the mini-fridge. Andrea opens the door cautiously, on the slim chance that the tiny Chinese people might have some means of communication with each other. The fact that these remember Andrea as the one who launched on of their own across the refrigerator and start clapping and stamping again shows that they do not have any communication with the other ‘societies’.

 

“Okay, look. You have got to go. All of you. It’s just really freaking me out. You guys are creepy. Plus, you’ve been eating all these damn macadamia nuts!” Andrea says.

 

The tiny Chinese people look around at each other, then back up at Andrea, then start clapping, stamping, and now smiling broadly.

 

“No. Listen you freaks, get in this bag, right now!” Andrea shouts, in the hopes that sheer intimidation might work. It doesn’t, and the tiny Chinese people continue to flash smiles, clap their hands, and stamp their feet, with a few excited, high-pitched squirrel-like chitters thrown in for good measure.

 

Andrea reaches into the refrigerator and grabs hold of two of the tiny Chinese people and roughly places them in her bag. As she reaches for another handful, the first two scamper out and begin chittering wildly. Andrea realizes that the tiny Chinese people won’t come peaceably, so she quickly grabs a tiny bottle of scotch. She unscrews the cap, grabs a lighter, lights it and takes a big gulp of the scotch. With a tiny amount of accuracy, Andrea spews the alcohol directly at the flame and more importantly, the tiny Chinese people in the tiny refrigerator. The ball of fire stops just short of engulfing the refrigerator-dwelling miniature Chinese people, but one would assume they feel the heat and have a vague idea as to the meaning behind it. Sadly, they don’t as they simply begin clapping, stamping, smiling, and chittering with more vigor than previously imagined. Furious over the situation, Andrea takes another mouthful of scotch and bellows another plume of fire, this time, though, Andrea leans a bit closer, allowing the flames to enter the tiny refrigerator. Andrea quickly slams the door shut, knowing that the fire will consume whatever oxygen is in the tiny fridge, leaving the tiny Chinese people none for breathing (Thanks Bill Nye the Science Guy!). Andrea waits for the tell-tale scuffling, then the group of thumps that mean unconsciousness. Andrea opens the door and scoops the tiny Chinese people into her bag.

 

“Okay, two places down, hopefully just one more to go,” Andrea says, referring of course to the trio of lockers housing mountain climbing and skydiving tiny Chinese people.

 

Andrea walks over to the set of lockers, and opens the first. She looks around, then closes the door.

 

“Oh no! EARTHQUAKE!!” Andrea screams and begins violently shaking the locker.

 

Andrea opens the door after a full minute of shaking to see all of the Cliffhanger recreators on the bottom of the locker, out cold. Andrea calmly slides them into her bag and moves on to the next locker, shaking it as well. Andrea opens the door and puts this batch of tiny Chinese people into her bag and moves on to the third and final locker. She opens it and looks at the skydiving Chinese people then at the hot-air balloon at the top of the locker where they jump from.

 

“This might not be solved by just shaking the locker. I mean, they’ve got parachutes, so they’ll just float, regardless of what I do,” Andrea says.

 

Andrea pauses to think for a moment, then her eyes light up, an idea formed. She slides the locker away from the wall, backs up, and shoves with all her might, sending it toppling over. With a loud crash, it lands on its side. Andrea crouches, grabs the bottom and heaves, turning the locker completely upside down.

 

“That should do it, I hope,” Andrea says and opens the door.

 

A few tiny Chinese people spill out, all unconscious. Andrea looks inside, reaches in, and begins pulling unconscious tiny Chinese people out and placing them in her gym bag.

 

“I really hope that’s the last of them. That damn scotch was horrible!” Andrea says.

 

Hefting up the bulging bag, Andrea walks around the dressing room, looking for areas that tiny Chinese people might hide in. Short of slicing up furniture, Andrea finds nothing in the room.

 

“Okay, now what to do with these?” Andrea asks herself. “Wonder if there’s a box in here,” Andrea speculates.

 

As luck would have it, there is a fairly large cardboard box in the dressing room. And, luckily, all of the tiny Chinese people manage to fit very well inside of it. Andrea rummages around the room again and finds a piece of paper. She grabs a pen and quickly scribbles something on the paper. Andrea lifts up the box, grabs the paper, and opens the door to her dressing room. She spots a nearby table with a few bottles of water and quickly places the box on the table with the paper propped against it. Andrea goes back to her room and closes the door. The camera pans around to the box, displaying the sign which reads: “Free - Chinese Figurines” before fading out.

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SWF Smarkdown returns from a commercial for the RUSH MEGA-BOXED SET!! A multitude of cameras pan around the Gund Arena, showcasing the retired jerseys of Craig Ehlo and Brad Daugherty! Hand-made signs are also present, but they're pretty bad, so instead, camera two stops in front of Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley at their regular broadcast positions.

 

"Hello fans, and welcome back to SWF Smarkdown in the one, the only, GUUUND AREEENA!!" Comet bellows.

 

"Geez, Comet. You trying to make me go deaf?" Riley questions.

 

"Of course! That way, I'd be able to regale the audience with my fantastic tales without you mocking me afterwards," Comet says.

 

"You bastard," Riley says after a small pause.

 

"Well, with those pleasantries aside, let's get down to the action! Our card is a bit meager tonight, but that's only because GENESIS FIVE~! is looming just around the corner! But even though it's truncated, this card is going to be amazing! In just a moment, we shall see the very first match of one Danny Dagda, in a hardcore, handicap match against former run-away tag team that fell just short of the tag titles, Team Flip Flop!" Comet shouts.

 

"You mean the flavor of last month! That Danny Dagda's going to tear the chick and the chicken into nugget-sized pieces!" Riley says in all his sadistic glory.

 

"Robert! Aren't you forgetting something?" Comet mutters in a low whisper. When Bobby stares blankly at him, Comet delivers a quick jab to his ribs.

 

"Oh yeah. Blood sport!" Riley shouts, fulfilling his contract.

 

"Thank you. Anyway, it looks like Funyon is ready to make the introductions for this match," Comet notes.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a hardcore handicap match in which count outs and disqualifications are not in effect! Introducing first, from Newark, New Jersey, he weighs in a two hundred, seventy-five pounds, and this is his first SWF match, DAAANY DAAAGDAAA!!" Funyon booms out over the crowd (Not that he needs to as the audience is pretty unsure of what to think of Dagda).

 

An explosion of red pyrotechnics and a sheet of red pyro from the SmarkTron completely hides the entrance ramp as "Tearing Everybody Down" by Anti-Flag crackles to life over the speakers. As the song blares on, Dagda steps through the wall of pyro, a golf bag bristling with weaponry slung over his shoulder. Danny walks, nay, not walks, struts down the ramp, slides his bag under the bottom rope and climbs into the ring himself.

 

"What's with that bag? Does Dagda fancy himself Casey Jones?" Comet questions.

 

"No, you dolt! He's prepared! He knows that Zenon's a sick, twisted man, what with pitting him against not one, but two people at once in his first match, and Danny has brought along a few friends," Riley says.

 

The lights drop down and a green explosion slams the stage. No Doubt's "Just a Girl" starts up as the lights come back with green filters, causing some of the Cleveland crowd the believe they've been subject to a nuclear attack. But it's not a nuclear attack, it's Team Flip Flop! On the stage, no less!

 

"And his opponent, at a combined weight of three hundred, sixty-two pounds, Andrea Montgomery and the Birdman, TEEEAM FLIIP FLOP!!" Funyon booms out over the cheering fans.

 

Birdman dances his way down the ramp while Andrea takes a few practice swings with a cane.

 

"Now what's she doing with that?" Riley demands.

 

"Making things even, Bobby," Comet points out.

 

"It's more than even! It's two on one, dammit!" Riley exclaims.

 

Andrea and Birdman reach the ring but don't dare enter as Danny has an aluminum baseball bat in his hand, just waiting to take a swing at a cruiser. The Babe and the Bird briefly discuss their strategy, and then approach the ring from different sides, Andrea remaining at the foot of the ramp, and Birdy walking a few feet to the left, taking the side of the ring facing the extended view camera. In a flash, Birdman and Andrea hop on to the apron, Birdman a second quicker than Andrea. Dagda takes a swing for the feathered friend, but Birdy drops back down, giving Andrea time to springboard into the ring, cracking Danny across the head with her cane in the process! Splinters go flying and Dagda looks no worse for wear as he pulls back and unloads with the bat, catching Andrea on the side of the head! Birdman caws under his breath, hops back on to the apron and dives feet-first between the top and middle ropes, nailing Danny in the stomach, sending him staggering backwards. Amidst the chaos, referee Miles Cortez calls for the bell:

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"What the hell? Did Andrea Montgomery bring a balsa wood cane to this match?" Comet speculates.

 

"I'm not sure. She's stupid enough to do that, but it might just be that Danny Dagda is just so strong he can shake off a cane to the brain easily," Riley says, fawning over the newest hunk of man meat in the ring.

 

Danny straightens up in time to greet Birdman's talons in the form of a heel kick to the face. Danny shakes the blow off, but only eats another kick. Despite the fact that they're all protein, Dagda decides to limit his diet to two kicks at a time and nails Birdman with an uppercut to the chin. Danny sprints forward, locks his arms around Birdy and arches his back, sending the fine feathered fellow crashing to the mat with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex.

 

"With a quick flurry of offense, Danny Dagda has taken firm control of this match," Comet points out.

 

"Heh, I bet he's firm!" Riley shouts.

 

Danny struts over to Birdman, lifts him up, and drops him with a whack-a-mole type blow from his bat. Dagda drops the bat, flexes a bit, and then drops down to cover Birdman. Cortez dashes over, ready to make the count:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH...NO!

 

A well-placed kick from Andrea Montgomery interrupts the pin! Danny rises to his feet, his face a wall of fury. Dagda charges, but Andrea sidesteps, lashing out with an elbow as Danny passes. Andrea dives, rolls forward, snatching up the baseball bat in the process. As she gets to her feet, Andrea turns slightly and lets the bat fly with better accuracy than Roger Clemens, right at Dagda!

 

WHAM!

 

Every single man in the audiences cries out in pain as the handle of the bat nails Dagda squarely on the crotch. Danny slams his knees together as his hands fly to his 'injured soldiers'. Dagda staggers for a moment, and then drops to both knees, gasping like a fish out of water. Andrea wastes no time and lashes out with two kicks to Dagda's head, connecting with both! Drea is far from finished, though, as she leaps in the air and drills Danny with a heel kick to the temple!

 

"Now Andrea Montgomery has taken control of this match after some...fancy bat-work," Comet says, still a bit uncomfortable.

 

"Bat-work my foot! She cheated!" Riley yells.

 

"How so? It's a hardcore match! Anything goes, no holds barred!" Comet exclaims.

 

"Bar? There's a bar here? Where's my Tom Collins, then?" Riley asks, very upset. With Danny flat on his back, Andrea ascends the turnbuckles and leaps from the top...

 

 

SPLASH!

 

... Landing atop Dagda with a corkscrew moonsault! Andrea hooks Danny's right leg and Miles gets down to make the count:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

T...NO!

 

Danny manages to kick out! Andrea gets up and rushes over to Dagda's golf bag of goodies as Danny slowly rises to his feet and walks over, bat in hand. Andrea reaches in the bag and pulls, but it appears that whatever she's trying to use is lodged in the bag pretty tight. This simply gives Dagda plenty of time to saunter over and do his best to imitate Babe Ruth...

 

 

THWACK!

 

Danny crouches, pulls back, and pulverizes Andrea's back with a swing of the bat! Montgomery crumples to the mat and Dagda puts a hand to his face, as if trying to track the invisible ball.

 

"Home run! Danny Dagda hit a monster shot!" Riley squeals in delight.

 

"Yes, but will it be allowed? I mean, he's using aluminum! This isn't college!" Comet points out.

 

Dagda pumps his fist into the air, drops the bat and begins his trip around the 'bases'. He saunters around the ring, touching the first three turnbuckles. As he 'rounds home' Dagda does the Flair-strut!

 

BOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

"I have to agree with the fans," growls Comet. "It's bad enough that he ran around the 'bases,' but that's just rubbing it in!" Flashy though it was, it turns out to be a bad idea, as it keeps his back turned on Birdman, who's just now getting back to his feet, rubbing the top of his head. Birdy staggers forward, picks up the bat and makes his way towards Dagda, sneaking up behind him just as he reaches 'home.'

 

CRACK!

 

Birdman rears back and swings, nailing Danny in the back of his left knee!

 

CRACK!

 

Birdy swings again, this time for Danny's right leg! Another blow for the right, and let's even things up with one for the left! With Dagda hobbled, Birdman grabs the bat with one hand, the barrel flush against his forearm and he heads for the ropes.

 

WHAM!

 

Birdy leaps into the air as he bounces off the ropes, nailing Danny with a flying forearm!

 

"Birdman with a baseball bat-assisted forearm to Danny Dagda's forehead!" Comet exclaims.

 

"That's not fair!" Riley shouts.

 

"Hey, this is like street ball. No blood, no foul," Comet points out.

 

"What about that blood!" Riley says, pointing out the trickle on Dagda's forehead.

 

"Oh, must have missed that. Still, it's hardcore! What about Bobby 'Bloodsport' Riley, huh?" Comet inquires.

 

Birdman tosses the bat aside and heads to the corner, quickly leaping to the top and perches on the top buckle, waiting for Danny to rise to his feet. Dagda pulls something out of his pants pocket out of Birdman's sight, and then gets up, turning around, as Birdman leaps off the top rope to deliver a cross-body block!

 

 

CRASH!

 

Birdman nails the cross-body but, rather than try to hold Dagda down for the pin, unexpectedly rolls off him and lays motionless on the mat, as does Daniel.

 

"Birdman with a sensational high cross-body," says Comet, "but he seems to have somehow taken the worst of it!" Dagda has a sinister grin as he gets to his feet, causing the cameraman to zoom in on him; a close up of Danny's hand and a split-screen replay provides ample evidence: what Dagda reaches into his pants for turns out to be a pair of brass knuckles, with which he punched the back of Birdman's head upon contact!

 

"My word," shrieks Comet. "What a sinister maneuver by Danny Dagda!"

 

"Yeah," says Riley dismissively, "but it puts Dagda back in control! He's crafty, Comet, crafty!"

 

"Sure he is... It doesn't take much brain power to punch someone in the head!" Comet shouts.

 

Rather than follow up on the attack and possibly prove Riley's point about his craftiness, Dagda rolls out of the ring and dives under the ring skirting. In the intervening time, Andrea manages to sit up, noticing Birdman out cold and Dagda gone from sight; she quickly puts two and two together, and exits on the opposite side of the ring, going on a weapon search herself.

 

"It's like Hans Blix up in here!" Comet shouts. Riley simply gives him a blank look. "You know, the guy who was looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?" Comet offers, but only gets another blank look. "Damn philistine," Comet mutters.

 

"Hey," Riley shouts defensively, "I'm from Fort Wayne, Indiana, not Philadelphia!" Danny is finished with his search, it would seem, and begins dragging something from under the ring.

 

"What is that?" Riley asks, bemused.

 

"Looks like a futon," Comet says. Comet is correct; it is, in fact, a futon, which Danny slides into the ring and then climbs in himself.

 

"Well, who the hell put a futon under the ring," Riley wonders aloud. "And anyway, aren't they usually pretty hefty, Comet?"

 

"Yes," answers Comet. "Rarely do you see a single person move a futon around, but then again Danny Dagda is a pretty strong guy."

 

"No, I meant your sister's being hefty, Comet. And you agree!" Riley says happily.

 

"Agree to what?" Comet wonders.

 

"You said Danny Dagda was a pretty, strong guy," Riley squeals giddily. "And you think he's cute, too!" Danny, oblivious to Riley's ambiguously gay delight, lifts the futon above his head and places it in the corner. He walks over to Birdman, lifting him up and drilling him with another brass knuckle-assisted punch, just for good measure! He then drags him across the ring, leaning him against the futon.

 

"This can't be a good thing," moans Comet. Danny trots to the opposite corner and then rushes towards Birdman, but stops short before making it all the way to the corner. He heads back across the ring to the empty corner, makes another run, but stops short yet

again.

 

"What's this guy's problem," shouts Comet. "Does he not know what he wants to do, or is he just being a dick about it?"

 

"Oh, come on, Comet," replies Bobby. "You're always talking about how these guys need to try harder to entertain the fans; well, I think that Dagda's doing a pretty good job!" Sporting perhaps the biggest shit-eating grin in history, Dagda walks back to the opposite corner, stretches for a moment, and only THEN takes off at full speed...

 

WHAM!

 

... Sending his shoulder into Birdman's torso! As expected, the force drives Birdman into and through the futon, rendering it into nothing more than kindling!

 

"Devastating spear from Danny Dagda," exclaims Comet. "Through a futon, no less!"

 

"Look out, Danny! That wench has got a hammer!" Riley warns, to no avail.

 

Andrea slides into the ring and gets to her feet, sledgehammer resting on her shoulder. Andrea walks over just as Danny pulls himself from the wreckage, oblivious to the impending skull-crushing doom. Flash bulbs go off as Danny turns around and Andrea pulls back then swings her mighty hammer!

 

CRASH!!

 

"OH MY GOD!! HIS HEAD IS GONE!!" Riley screams in horror as the blow caused something to shatter, but it's impossible to tell what in fact has been destroyed.

 

Due to Danny not slumping to the mat, nor Andrea being covered with a spray of blood, it appears that the head of the sledgehammer was the object that shattered. Andrea pauses for only a split second at the shock of seeing the hammer head shatter on impact before she rears back again and smashes Danny with the handle, which also shatters.

 

"Danny Dagda must be the strongest man alive!" Riley shouts.

 

"No," rebuffs Comet. "Andrea Montgomery keeps using weapons made from balsa wood, which is very fragile,"

 

"What about the hammer head," asks Riley. "That couldn't have been wooden... could it?"

 

And yet, a slow motion, split-screen replay plays for the benefit of Comet and the audience, revealing the head to be completely hollow, much like Riley's.

 

"See, Robert? It was hollow. Man, Andrea Montgomery seems to be having bad luck in her weapon selection," Comet says.

 

"Are you serious," laughs Riley. "What is she, retarded? How could she not notice that a sledgehammer was made out of balsa wood?" Danny brushes splinters from his hair and swings at Drea, but hits air! Andrea drops down and lands a heel kick to the back of Danny's right knee. Danny grabs for Andrea, but she rolls backwards, catching Dagda under the chin with a kick in the process! Andrea kips up to her feet, darts out of the way of a lunging Danny Dagda, and delivers a dropkick to his stomach. The wind knocked out of him, Danny hunches over, exposing him to Andrea, who drapes a leg across the back of his neck, grabs Danny's arm...

 

 

WHAM!

 

... And sends him to the mat!

 

"Leg lever takedown from Andrea Montgomery! It seems that she's realized that weapons aren't working for her right now, so she's going back to her normal strategy of out-pacing her opponents," Comet states.

 

"She's going to screw up somehow," Riley says bitterly.

 

Andrea gets back to her feet, Danny following close behind. Andrea lashes out with a pair of kicks to Danny's head, sending the big man reeling. Drea follows up with a spinning back kick to Dagda's gut to double him over, and then traps him in a front facelock...

 

BANG!

 

 

... Driving him face-first into the mat to end the whole thing with a DDT! Montgomery pops back to her feet and heads for the corner. Andrea scales the turnbuckles and makes her way out onto the top rope as Danny gets to his feet. Dagda turns to face Andrea and takes a few steps towards her before Drea leaps off!

 

WHACK!

 

Andrea manages a complete flip, hitting Dagda in the mouth with her elbow! And best of all, she sticks the landing!

 

"Somersault elbow from Andrea Montgomery! What a move!" Comet exclaims.

 

"Eh," Riley says scornfully, "I've seen better." With Danny down at least temporarily, Andrea heads over to Birdman and helps pull him from the wreckage of the futon. Andrea leans towards Birdman, no doubt suggesting some plan, to which Birdman gives a caw of assent and he slides out of the ring. Birdman relieves Funyon of his chair and slides back into the ring, folding it up for easier swinging. Birdy walks over to Andrea and Team Flip Flop lifts Danny Dagda up and move him towards the ropes. The Babe and the Bird whip Danny to the opposite set, and upon releasing him, Andrea bounces off the ropes while Birdman scoops up the steel chair. Drea charges at Danny, grabs him by the back of the head, and monkey flips him up and over...

 

CRACK!

 

Right into Birdman's swing!

 

"What a wicked chairshot," exclaims Comet. "THAT certainly wasn't made out of balsa wood!"

 

"That's because Montgomery didn't pick it out," Bobby replies snidely. Birdman drops the chair in front of him and then helps Drea to pull Dagda to his feet. They each wrap an arm around his head, trapping him in a double front facelock...

 

WHACK!

 

... Before driving him face-first into the table with a double DDT! The Chick and the Chicken dogpile on top of Danny as Miles Cortez dives into position to make the count:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THRE-

 

 

NO!

 

 

... With an absolutely frightening display of power, Dagda presses both Andrea and Birdman off of him in one fluid motion! Birdy and Drea look at each other in astonishment, before they charge at Danny simultaneously...

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

... And blast him in the face with a running double-dropkick! Rather than attempt another pin, Andrea directs Birdman to the arena floor, where he reaches underneath the ring to retrieve a table, as she stomps on Dagda to keep him softened up. Birdy sets the table and slides back into the ring to help Drea force Danny back against the edge of the ring. They each grab one of his arms and attempt to launch him across the ring...

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

... But before they can get Dagda off the ropes, he uses his prodigious strength to pull the Babe and the Bird together, ramming their heads together with a double noggin knocker that knocks them both to the mat! Dagda quickly pulls Andrea to her feet, only to stand behind her and wrap his arms around her waist before popping his hips as he falls backwards...

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

... Planting her into the mat with a Monstrous German! Birdman gets to his feet, and tries to keep Dagda down, pounding away at him with stomps to the midsection, but Danny grabs him by the leg to stop him, maintaining control of the leg as he stands up. Birdy bounces off the mat on his free leg, whipping it through the air suddenly to blast Dagda in the face with an enzugiri, but Danny deftly ducks out of the way...

 

WHACK!

 

 

... But the Bird bounces back off the mat before Danny can react a second time, drilling Dagda on the rebound with jumping back kick! Birdman grabs Dagda by the wrist and whips him across the ring...

 

 

WHAM!

 

... But Danny spins around on his heel, quickly reversing the whip attempt and scooping Birdy up into a bearhug...

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

... And planting him into canvas with a strong spinebuster!

 

"Awesome spinebuster by Dagda," marvels Comet.

 

"I told you, Comet," says Riley. "Too much power!" Dagda pulls Birdman to his feet by the back of the head and hooks his arm underneath the Bird's as he heads him over to the edge of the ring, before snatching him off the ground suddenly...

 

 

CRUNCH!

 

 

... And heaving him over the top rope and out of the ring with a devastating hiptoss, that sends Birdman crashing through the table on the arena floor!

 

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

 

 

"Bah Zeus," shrieks Comet, "Danny Dagda just pitched Birdman over the top rope and outside the ring as if he were a doll!"

 

"Well," says Riley, "he had it coming. If he hadn't set the table up outside the ring, it wouldn't have been there for him to get thrown into... that karma's a bitch sometimes, isn't it?" Dagda walks over to Andrea and pulls her to her feet, reaching his arms around her to snare her in a front waistlock, and then lifts her off the ground...

 

WHAM!

 

... Before falling backwards, crushing Andrea against the mat with a ferocious sidewalk slam! Dagda leans back on Drea's chest for a half-hearted cover, as Cortez dives into position:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE-

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"You've got to be kidding," shouts Riley. "I can't believe that Montgomery could kick out of that!"

 

"That's what happens when you make nonchalant pin attempts," replies Comet. If he would have hooked a leg, this match would be over!" Irritated by his failure to get the win, Danny pulls Drea back to her feet and drills her with a hard right hand that sends her reeling!

 

BAM!

 

Dagda smashes her with a second right hand, and then a third! Drea stumbles back and forth on Rubber Leg Street, as Dagda studs around his opponent as the fans let him have it full barrel:

 

 

BOOOOOO!

 

 

"Citizen Dagda needs to stop this posturing and put his opponent away," says Comet. "If he doesn't, his showboating is going to come back to haunt him!" Danny does the Electric Slide in front of Montgomery before finally lunging forward to deliver a LAAAAARIIIIIIOOOOOOTOOOOOOH!

 

 

WHOOSH!

 

... But the Big Bruiser comes up empty as Drea ducks underneath the lariat attempt and spins back around behind Dagda, hammering him with a flurry of punches, before:

 

 

WHACK!

 

Montgomery leaps into the air and flips backwards as she plants both feet into Dagda chest with a dropsault to complete the Coastal Combo! Drea scrambles over to Danny's body and tries to cover him for a pinfall:

 

ONE!

 

 

TW- KICKOUT!

 

 

Danny kicks out rather forcefully, launching Andrea off his body.

 

"Citizen Dagda has taken a fair amount of punishment," says Comet, but still appears to have more than enough energy to kick out with authority!" Drea pulls Danny to his feet and traps him in a front facelock before falling down to the mat, attempting to drive Dagda into the mat with a DDT, but Dagda is close enough to the edge of the ring to grab on to the top rope, preventing him from falling down. He pulls Drea to her feet before she has a chance to recover traps her in a front facelock...

 

CRACK!

 

... Twisting around suddenly to take her down with a spinning neckbreaker! Dagda applies a lateral press as Miles Cortez drops down to make the cover:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THRE-

 

 

 

NO!

 

 

"Thank goodness that Citizen Montgomery still had the presence of mind to get her feet on the ropes," sighs Comet. Danny pulls Andrea to her feet and leans her up against the ropes...

 

SMACK!

 

... Before blasting her with a hard open-hand slap! He then mocks Ric Flair as Drea continues to lean up against the ropes, strutting across the ring before bouncing off the ropes and charging back towards Andrea, but the Babe dives forward out of the way, causing Dagda to bounce off the ropes, and she sneaks up behind him to scoop him from behind with a rollup!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

 

"Andrea very nearly pulled that win out," says Comet. "But Citizen Dagda still has a little too much power!" Drea beats Danny to his feet and pushes him back against the ropes, and then grabs him by the wrist as she attempts to whip him across the ring, but her much stronger foe reverses. Dagda scoops her up into his arms as she bounces off the ropes...

 

WHAM!

 

... But the Babe reverses, locking her legs around his neck and taking him over in a flying headscissors! She beats him to his feet and leaps into the air...

 

WHAM!

 

... Slamming him in the chest with a front dropkick that knocks him off-balance! Sensing the opportunity to capitalize, Drea leaps onto his shoulders and locks her legs behind his head, arching backwards to take him over with a hurricanrana, but the Big Bruiser uses his mass and raw power to keep from falling over, holding Drea suspended upside down! Without warning, he jerks her up in the air until the small of her back is level with his shoulder, and then presses her against it as he locks in a Canadian backbreaker!

 

"Canadian Backbreaker," exclaims Riley. "This match is over! What a tremendous victory by Danny Dagda this is going to be!" Referee Cortez keeps his eyes trained on Montgomery, constantly checking to see whether or not she has submitted.

 

"Things are looking bleak for Citizen Montgomery," moans Comet. "She's going to have to hope for a miracle to get out of this!" Cortez asks Andrea if she's ready to give up, and she looks like she's on the verge of saying yes...

 

CRACK!

 

... When suddenly, out of nowhere, Birdman sneaks back into the ring, armed with a lead pipe, and smashes it into the back of Dagda's head!

 

"What a shot," shouts Comet. "A lead pipe to the back of the head! And you'd best believe that wasn't made of balsa wood!" Dagda drops Montgomery to the mat and then turns to face his attacker...

 

CRACK!

 

 

... Only to be smashed again by Birdman and his lead pipe, this time, right in the face!

 

CRACK!

 

A shot to the left knee takes that wheel out...

 

CRACK!

 

... Followed by one to the right knee! This takes Danny off of his feet, making him a more viable target for the Birdman. Birdy takes off towards the edge of the ring and bursts into the air as he bounces off the ropes...

 

 

WHACK!

 

... Crushing Dagda's skull with a flying pipe shot!

 

"My word," cries Comet. "Not even a man as tough as Danny Dagda will be able to take much more of that!" Birdman drops down and applies a cover, even hooking the leg as the referee gets into position:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

NO! Dagda gets the shoulder up!

 

 

"Thank God," sighs Riley. "It would have been utterly bogus for Birdman to win like that, especially after Dagda's tried so hard to keep this match clean!"

 

"Clean," barks Comet. "You mean like launching Birdman through a table outside the ring? Weren't you saying something about karma earlier?" Birdman pulls Danny to his feet and grabs him by the wrist, whipping towards the edge of the ring, but the Big Bruiser still reverses easily. Birdman leaps into the air, extending his body in a cross-body block position, only to be caught in midair by Dagda...

 

WHAM!

 

... But Drea sneaks up behind Danny and rises up on her knees, causing Dagda to fall to the mat as Birdman's momentum causes him to trip backwards over Andrea's back! Team Flip Flop gets to their feet rather than attempt a cover and pull Dagda to his feet. They each grab a wrist and whip him into the ropes, leaping into the air as he bounces back...

 

BANG!

 

... And knocking him down with a double dropkick! The fans in the Gund go crazy as the Chick and the Chicken bounce to their feet, bursting with adrenaline!

 

"Team Flip Flop is on fire," proclaims Comet, as Drea removes one of the turnbuckle pads in the corner, while Birdy keeps Danny at bay with kicks. She then helps him pull Dagda to his feet and they both whip him across the ring into the opposite corner. They bend down and grab him by the waist as he stagger out of the corner, lifting him into the air...

 

WHAM!

 

 

... And dropping him face-first into the exposed turnbuckle with a double-flapjack! Team Flip Flop turn Dagda around to face the ring and then both perform a simultaneous backflip, announcing to their fans their finisher!

 

"Here it comes," shrieks Comet, as Drea runs to the apron. "If they hit this, it's all over!" Drea leaps onto the top turnbuckle behind Dagda in one fluid motion as Birdy steps away from the corner to get a running start, and then he dashes back towards the corner, diving towards Dagda's legs as Andrea dives forward...

 

WHAM!

 

 

... Planting a knee into the back of his head and driving it into the mat with their patented Cattle Brand/diving leg takedown combination!

 

"Flip Flop Drop," shouts Comet, as they both collapse on top of Dagda. "He's not going to get up from that!"

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

"Flip Flop Drop wins it," says Comet, as Team Flip Flop slides out of the ring. "And this match is mercifully over! We'll be right back!"

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"Their win was a fluke, and I intend to show them that."

 

Fade in.

 

The scene opens up in the Revolution Zero locker room. Spike Jenkins, Sean Davis, and Marcus Washington all lounge in their respective recliners. The Cleveland crowd readily shows their feelings of the three men on screen.

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"Don't you mean we?" asks Spike.

 

Davis nods in response, then looks over at his attorney, Marcus Washington, as the lawyer speaks up.

 

"You know, Sean.. I think the commissioner has a title defense planned for your Hardcore Gamer's Championship. Hollywood Boulevard is rumored to be asking for a TLC match to defend their Tag Titles in."

 

"Heresay," comments Davis, with a smirk at his lawyer.

 

Spike can't help but chuckle a little bit, too. He leans forward and addresses Sean. "I'm sure you can handle it, man. And I've got your back if need be. I just can't believe Dustin got a shot at the Cruiserweight before I got my rematch. I so wanted to kick Tom Flesher's ass!"

 

"Well," begins Davis. "I'm sure you'll get your shot again. Ryan Dustin won't stay sober long enough to keep the belt." The former FSU linebacker looks at Washington. "Can you make sure our names come up when the Tag Title match is booked?"

 

A sly grin overcomes the lawyer's face. "I got you out, didn't I?"

 

Davis glares at Marcus and growls, "I was innocent to begin with!"

 

"Chill, buddy," Jenkins interjects. He stands and stretches. "I'm gonna see if I can't find Zenon. I need to figure out what the hell is going on with my title.. "

 

Fade out.

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As preparations are made for the main event of the evening, the view inside the Gund Arena switches to the backstage area, and a familiar view at that.

 

Commissioner Alex Zenon is sorting through papers, reading through some of the contracts that are filing in as the stage is being set for Genesis V, a five-year anniversary of the federation's biggest event.

 

Suddenly, the door to Zenon's office is opened and he looks up from his desk.

 

"Alex," John Duran says, immediately stepping up to the Commissioner's desk. "I'm here to tell you that I've got it all figured out for Genesis."

 

"I've taken care of it, John," Zenon responds quickly.

 

Duran is taken aback, and grimaces, reaching a hand up to his neck as if this change of events is hurting him. "You've taken care of it? Even when I didn't ask you to?"

 

"That's right," Zenon says matter-of-factly, and looks back down at his papers. Duran tries to remain calm through all of this.

 

"Would you mind at least telling me who my opponent is?"

 

"It's a surprise."

 

WHAM!

 

Duran slams his hand down on Zenon's desk, right next to the nameplate featuring the Commissioner's name and title. "How about you tell me the surprise?"

 

Alex takes a breath and looks back up at Duran. "Just get ready for Sunday. I know your neck's in bad shape, so there's no telling who you'll get to face you. I'd be prepared for anything, John, not grilling me about who it is."

 

The Notorious One coldly stares at the Commissioner, obviously wanting to rip his head off but holding back. "I'll be there. And I'll win if I break my damn neck trying, Alex."

 

"I think that's what the fans are hoping for, John."

 

The former World Champion scoffs and turns, walking out of his office and slamming the door behind him. Finally, Zenon calmly looks back down at the paperwork before him.

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Cut to one Fallen Angel, in street clothes knocking on Z's door, to no answer. He knocks on it again, and turns around, obviously frustrated and walks right into an intern. The poor kid immediatly goes into apology mode, "I'm sorry Mr. Cross, I should've -"

 

"Kid, I turned around into you. I know you're used to FLesher or Suicide King tearing you a new one for looking at 'em, but calm down."

 

The kid does calm down a bit.

 

"Now, do you know where Zenon is?"

"Um, last time I saw him he was heading toward RevZero's locker room muttering something about riders in contracts and such."

 

Cross raises his eyebrows, then shrugs his large shoulders.

 

"Hmm...I never expected Toxxic to be the one who wants only red M&M's."

"Actually sir, I think it was Spike complaining."

 

That stops Cross cold.

 

"Wait, Spike has riders in - I'm not going to ask. Anyway, can you do a favor for me?"

"Hang around here, and when Zenon gets back, tell him I want Lezaire."

"I'll do that no problem, but if you don't mind me asking, why do you think he'll give you the match?"

 

Bad, bad thing to ask about kid.

 

"Other than the fact I have a rematch clause, was screwed out of the title in the first place, and was about to send the cocky bastard into traction before his life partner got into things a few days ago?"

 

Cross simply pauses for a moment, before offering something resembling a grin. If anything, it makes Cross look more grim.

 

"Not much. But like I said -"

 

Cross hands the intern a contract.

 

"-give this to him, have him look it over."

"And if he wants to get in contact with you?"

"I'll be around, in the shadows, around the darkness, and unfortunately for Ace...I'm focused on him at the moment. On getting back the USJL title, and that's what it is, not some Canadian Championship or whatever the fool wants it to be. He knows that title is the result of a match that he won with deciet, not skill. At Genesis, Lezaire is just going to be another man. Another man who's screwed with justice one too many times...and is now going to pay the price. Now kid, I must be going, the night is calling."

 

At that, Cross simply walks away and heads toward the exit. The intern just shakes his head.

 

"Sure, I get the freaks. I can't run into Megan Skye or Jet, nooo. Have to walk into the guy who think he's Batman."

 

At that, we cut back to Comet and Riley.

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“Thomas, Thomas, Thomas,” says Alex Zenon, shaking his head. “I think you’ve forgotten something about Genesis.”

 

“Oh?” says Flesher, puffing on a cigarette.

 

“No matter what you and King think, you’ve already got a contractual obligation,” Zenon says. “Ryan Dustin is the #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Championship.”

 

“Eh?” Flesher asks, ashing the cigarette.

 

“That,” sighs Zenon, pointing downward. The camera pulls back, showing the ash from about half a cigarette sitting on the faceplate of the Cruiserweight belt.

 

“And your point is…?”

 

“You have to defend it, Tom.”

 

“Hmmm…” Flesher mulls it over for a second, and then says, “Nope.”

 

“What did you just say?”

 

“I’d really rather not, Alex. I’m not feeling it.”

 

Zenon sighs. “Listen, Tom, you’re under contract here, and that comes with certain responsibilities. You haven’t defended the Cruiserweight Title in ages, and now that you HAVE a contender, you’ve got to get out there and do it.”

 

“How’s the week after Genesis? I can recoup a little, get a massage, do some stretching …”

 

“Bullshit. You fight tonight.”

 

Flesher raises an eyebrow. “Or?”

 

“Or I strip you. Now, you better go get warmed up… you’re on next.”

 

With that, Zenon simply turns and walks out the door. Flesher takes one long pull on his cigarette and, with a shrug, exhales the cloud.

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"The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Smarks Wrestling Federation Crusierweight Championship!"

 

The house lights drop, causing a small mummer to escape from the crowd. The low key, but upbeat beginning of "Lapdance" by N.E.R.D. starts to fill the arena. Brillant strobes of white, yellow, blue and red, flash about the arena, bathing the crowd in a mutli-colored hue in time with the beat, whose moderate base line begins to kick up, until, the vocals drop...

 

I'm an Ouuuuut-law!

 

Suddenly, a bullet flies through the picture, causing the image to shatter like glass. A single spotlight flashes across the stage, waving back and forth in time with the hip-hop beat...

 

Quick on the draw -- Quick on the draw...

Something you never seen before -- never seen...

 

Centering on a lone spot...

 

And I dare a muthafucker to come in my face!

 

And as N.E.R.D’S ‘Lap-dance’ continues, it draws Ryan Dustin to the stage, through the curtain, facing the crowd – arms folded across his chest – while in a casual lean; his red cameo jacket fluttering from an unknown undercurrent. After a pause, Dustin makes his way to the ring, interacting with various fans by placing them in his 'picture frame'...

"Introducing first, the challenger," adds Funyon, after a short pause. After the pause, Dustin makes his way to the ring, interacting with various fans by placing them in his 'picture frame'. "Making his way to ringside—from Carson City, Nevada, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-eight pounds, he is the Real Deal... RYAN DUSSSSS--TIN!" announces Funyon, while Dustin slaps hands with a few fans.

 

Ryan reaches the ring, climbing up the outside of the turnbuckle, he poses once again, sizing up the Cruiserweight champ, by placing his hands in the form of a 'picture frame' again. Then Ryan, as if waiting for a cue, turns to the near side crowd, nodding his head to the beat...

 

"It's so real!

How I feel!"

 

...before backflipping into the ring, giving the fans a little flourish for their buck. The crowd responds to that with a sizable pop, as Ryan disgardes his jacket and glasses, then stands at the ready in his corner, as his music fades into the background.

 

"Citizen Dustin, definitely one for a little flash and panache, is coming in to this contest on a four match win streak, but going up against, as you called him eariler, Robert, 'a man who is prehaps one of the hottest in the federation!'," Cyclone pauses, letting the innuendo speak for itself, "you have to wonder if he can defeat Tom Flesher, also known as one of the most decorated champions in Smarks Wrestling Federation history. We'll find out here tonight!"

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

With that, an explosion of blue smoke and pyro lights up the arena, heralding the arrival of the Cruiserweight Champion! As Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” blares through the stadium, Tom Flesher walks through the velvet curtain clad in his usual blue warm-up suit. Allison Onita, wearing a black leather skirt and a short black leather jacket covering what would otherwise be revealed by a sleeveless black mesh blouse, follows behind him with the SWF Cruiserweight Title belt wrapped around her waist. The fans boo loudly as Flesher and Onita make their way to the ring, but Flesher ignores them as usual.

 

On the other side of the ring, Riley pops to his feet and begins to applaud the arrival of the “Superior One,” as Flesher climbs the stairs and holds the ropes for Allison Onita, then enters. He sets himself in the center of the ring as the music fades, and looks at the announcer with a smirk.

 

Funyon breathes a loud and exaggerated sigh before beginning to read the prepared statement on the index card handed to him. “And his opponent,” he begins, “A man who, once again, needs no introduction! Quite frankly because he's the only REAL man in the ring at this moment. He is the most decorated wrestler in the SWF, since Tom Flesher himself! He has once again decided to give you a second viewing of his unparalleled talents that those of you here in the Gund Arena saw last show, where only the distractions of Ryan Dustin could give Birdman the biggest fluke win, since Flesher last lost a match! Weighing in tonight at two hundred twenty-nine and one half pounds, after an extensive 'workout' with Allision Onita--from Buffalo, New York, he is the reigning SWF World Cruiserweight Champion, he is the Superior One... TOM FLEEEESSSSH--ERRRR!” Flesher goes to his pattened golf clap, as Allison cheers behind him, only to be met by with the same brutal response as last show...

 

FLESHER SUCKS!

FLESHER SUCKS!

FLESHER SUCKS!

FLESHER SUCKS!

 

"This crowd has picked up where they left off, Robert! Tom Flesher, in their opinion, seems to... suck."

 

"They wish!" says Riley quickly, missing Comet's 'and you do to' mumbled under his breath. Eddy Long signals for the bell and this match is underway.

 

DING--DING--DING!

 

Both men test the ropes in their own way, while they quicken the pace, finally crashing together and grappling for position. Tom takes control, out-techniquing Dustin and transitions into a side headlock takedown. Flesher holds onto the headlock, yawning as Ryan slides on the mat, trying to get into a better position--and he does, surprising Tom by quickly grabbing a head scissors. The Superior One easily kips up, breaking the hold and both wrestlers scramble to their feet--but Tom gets under control first and grabs the Real Deal, while he’s still on one knee, hooking him into a front facelock. Flesher lands a knee to the face of the Real Deal and continues to strike away with knee, after knee, surprising everyone in the arena by releasing the 'front headlock' and tossing Dustin down to the canvas, face first!

 

"Ha! Total domination by Tom Flesher! He doesn't even NEED to keep holds on Dustin. That's how good he is!"

 

Tom taunts Dustin to get up off the ground and he obilges, causing the two to come together in a collar and elbow, once again controlled by Flesher, but only briefly as Ryan shifts his weight and moves into a headlock. Tom attempts to sandbag, but Dustin plants his feet and sends him over with a side headlock takedown. Tom quickly gets his shoulders off the mat, since it's been ingrained in his system since amateurs and now in a better position; he brings them up to their feet and walks them into the near ropes. The Superior One uses the momentum and a palmstrike to the ribs to his advantage and tosses Ryan away, but the Real Deal rebounds quickly, moving into him with a shoulder block. Dustin looks down and bounces off the ropes, causing Flesher to flip over onto his belly -- allowing Ryan to stop quickly and fall right back into another side headlock!

 

“Ho-ho, a little one-upsmanship there, Bobby! Ryan was on the losing end of their first exchange, and got dissed and dismissed, so he outsmarted citizen Flesher to prove they're on even ground.” notes Comet, as Ryan secures the hold, patting Flesher's head for good measure. “He won't win the match like this, especially against Flesher.” adds Riley, in response. "Tom is the best mat tacticion I've ever seen, let alone in the SWF. Messing with him on the ground, while satistfying, will just lead to Dustin getting bitch-slapped more and losing quicker."

 

Flesher scowls in the hold, really put out, but he once again brings them up to their feet and walks them into the near ropes. Tom uses the momentum gained again and tosses Ryan away, sending the Real Deal off to run the ropes. Dustin rebounds, coming back with a vengence, but walks directly into the open arms of the Superior One! Tom clasps his hands together and after a brief pause, elevates Ryan over in a devastating Railgun suplex!

 

"Citizen Dustin runs directly into a Railgun suplex! The Superior One saw him coming and easily proves once again why he's one of the best suplex artists in the SWF."

 

Now half-way across the ring, the Real Deal arches his back in pain, and rolls to his stomach, making sure Tom won't get a pin fall attempt, while Flesher pops up to his feet and gives a twirl for the audience. They boo, as anyone would that display of out and out cockiness, while Tom stalks over to the downed Dustin and slaps on his pattented front headlock, leveraging Ryan up to his knees... but he can't seem to press Ryan into his Cement drop.

 

Flesher maintains his front headlock, realizing he's not going to get Dustin into the Thez Press pinning position with the Cement drop, lifts the hunched Real Deal some and snaps Ryan up overhead with a float over suplex! He gracefully rolls into his facelock Thez Press and drives Dustin's shoulders to the canvas for a pin! Eddy Long slides to the mat and counts...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH--No! Ryan gets a shoulder up off the canvas even with Tom torquing on his neck. Flesher, not one to let his opponent get away with just lying on the mat, paintbrushes the back of Dustin head, to a chorus of boos.

 

"Tom Flesher is not taking this match seriously at all, Robert."

 

"Well, why should he? Dustin TRIED to show him up and now he's learning exactly what happens after that."

 

Flesher, through paint brushing his opponent, settles for another pin attempt, burying Dustin into the mat, for the count...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO--No! The Real Deal doesn't hesitate in the least and pushes them both up off the canvas. The audience lets loose another large boo at the lack of action going on in the ring, but Flesher doesn't care. His job is to win and keep his belt. If playing around with Ryan Dustin and going for multiple covers will get that done, then that's too bad. Dustin, tired of getting bullied around forces Flesher backwards a bit and Tom, to maintain the headlock backs up, but Ryan pushes him toward the corner. Since he doesn't want to give up the facelock Flesher pivits and tries to drag Dustin into the center of the ring with him. Sadly for him, Ryan makes the ropes and Eddy Long comes over to count the break...

 

 

BOOOOOOOO!

 

 

...but while Long is shielded by Tom's wide body, Flesher hits discreet low knee to the nads which kills all of Dustin's fighting spirit. "Illegal!" shouts Comet, jumping up out of his seat as Dustin slumps deep into the corner. "Villianous attack of the mans nether-regions!"

 

"Sit down you caped fool! It's not illegal unless the ref SEES it!" says Bobby, pulling Comet back into his seat. "Get ready, Comet." adds Riley, watching as Tom saunters towards the far ropes bouncing off them for momentum. "We're about to see something special!"

 

Tom raises his foot slightly, as he charges forward and blasts Ryan with a painful corner boot scrap! Dustin's face jerks to the right and snaps back into place, as Flesher rushes back to those same ropes and explodes forward with another doc-marten related boot scrap of death and destruction!! "He doesn't break out the sauntering~ bootscraps for just anyone, Comet! They have to REALLY piss him off, for that!"

 

Flesher turns away from the corner and poses to a smattering of boos, before golf clapping for himself. In the corner, Dustin reaches up to the top ropes and yanks himself up to his feet in an attempt to go on the offensive, but Tom turns around and backhands him across the face, like he had eyes in the back of his head! "Damn, that slap makes every Cleveland pimp in the audience proud!" But The Real Deal knows he has to make his move now and shakes off the pain, responding with a forearm to the face, that stuns Tom for a second, but he whips around and halls off on Dustin with a open hand bitch-slap, so hard, it forces spit to fly from the Real Deal's mouth into the crowd. "See, Comet! You mess with Flesher and you get the point. And that point is of total and complete, disrespect." notes a giddy Riley, as Tom grabs Ryan's arm, sending him away in an Irish whip, but the Real Deal is thrown so quickly that he can't even take the fall into the corner with his back, crashing sternum first into the top most turnbuckle! Dustin cannot even hang on and stumbles out of the corner backwards, allowing Flesher to loop in behind him and lifts him up for a Belly to back suplex--no, Ryan flips out over the top and out of the Cruiserweight champion's grasp! The crowd rises to it's feet, as the Superior One attempts to react, turning around as quickly as he can, swinging wildly with a back elbow, realizing that he's in prime position for Dustin's heavily scouted Real Deal neckbreaker, but Dustin ducks and laces his arm about the waist of Flesher, lifting him up and bringing him back down to earth, quicker than a hiccup!

 

"Inverted Atomic drop!" shouts Comet, while Flesher's eyes scrunch up in pain, as he bounces atop the knee of his opponent, who barely pauses before sending Tom flying back first to the canvas, with a quick, yet not so dirty, spinebuster! Tom twitches on the mat in pain, clearky stunned by the speed of the attack, and Dustin takes advantage, going for the win by continuing to hold onto Flesher's legs and flipping over top in a jacknife pin!

 

"The champion is down! First pin of the match for Ryan Dustin!"

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR--No! Tom kicks out of the pin, but on the outside Allison looks on in shock. She can't believe Dustin actually attempted a pin on Tom, like he could actually win...

 

"The sudden impact of that Bona-fide thriller seems to have shaken up Tom Flesher, Robert." notes Comet, as Dustin sits up from his pin fall attempt. "Please Comet, he's just bidding his time..." retorts Riley, rolling his eyes for good measure. Meanwhile, Ryan has made it to his feet, trying to regain his balance, and as Tom begins to get up Dustin has already leapt into the air, swinging his leg out and across the head of his opponent!!

 

Crack!

 

The crowd comes alive at the first real offensive stand by the challenger, while Flesher's eyes glaze over and he falls to the mat in a heap once again, this time face first! Allision raises one unsure eyebrow, while Dustin lands on one knee and scrambles into a textbook cover, shooting a half nelson and hooking the far leg for leverage! Ryan looks to Eddy Long, as he starts the count...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE--No! The crowd groans as the Superior One's shoulder pushes it's way out of Dustin's grasp. Tom rolls over onto his belly and pushes himself up to his knees and Ryan, going on instinct now, hops over top and snitches him into an Oklaholma roll stacking the Cruiserweight champs shoulders to the mat, one last time!! Allision bangs her hands on the mat, clearly not so sure Tom will be kicking out of this one...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

NOOOO! Tom breaks the pin once again, causing the crowd to let out a heart-felt moan. "Citizen Dustin, was this close to ending the match, Robert." notes Comet, putting his fingers centimeters apart. "Tom Flesher is fighting for his life in there! The rapid fire pins have him back on his heels, when just moments ago he was in complete control!"

 

The Real Deal stands, on fire from his rapid-fire offence and waves Flesher up to his feet, rushing forward and leaping into the air, dragging Tom down to the mat with a Thez press--no! Flesher, alert as ever, ducks low and rolls through by way of Overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Ryan's eyes go wide in horror, as he underestimated the technical abilities of Tom Flesher. Dustin hits the mat high on his shoulders and flops to the canvas, which allow the Superior One to float over into his pattened Cement drop!!

 

BOOOOO!

 

The crowd reacts quickly to the change in control, but Tom Flesher sits on his modified Thez Press, buying himself some much needed recovery time. "See Comet! I told you so earlier, didn't I! Tom waited and waited for his chance to strike and now he's found it. He's right back in control of the situation."

 

Tom pushes Dustin's neck and shoulders down with some added weight and wrench Ryan into a pinning position out of nowhere! Eddy Long drops to make the count...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE--No! Ryan fights a shoulder up off the canvas with a great deal of effort, as Flesher finally seems to be back to his normal self, asking Allision to give him a golf clap after his wonderful display of counter wrestling. Flesher, back in control, works Dustin up to his feet and gets a cradle, snapping him over with a Fisherman's suplex!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE--No! Dustin barely breaks the pin attempt and staggers to his feet as Flesher backs up and rushes forward for a Yakuza kick--no Ryan ducks quickly causing Tom to run into the turnbuckle pads. Dustin spins behind him and pulls him backward into rolling prawn!!!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE--NO! Tom kicks out pushing the nearly out of it Dustin into the ropes. Ryan holds on to stay up, but Tom loops in behind him for a German suplex intending to send him back to the canvas--but Ryan counters by firing off back elbows that send Flesher spawling into the corner! Ryan follows up with weak forearms trying anything to get an advantage, and goes for an Irish whip--no reversal, Ryan runs the ropes and runs right into Flesher gut-wrench grasp! Tom lifts Dustin up for an Ego Buster attempt, but Dustin adjusts in mid-air and handles the gut-wrench like a titl-a-whirl, spinning into a Dragon kid arm bar!!

 

Flesher falls to the mat under the pressure of Dustin on his back, but in a great showing of skill, Tom rolls through into a pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR--No! Dustin gets a shoulder up and Flesher clearly pissed that he almost lost, motions for Allision to get the title and rolls out of the ring. Allision brings the belt to him and they start up the ramp... Eddy Long counts, as Dustin, very tired from haveing to deal with all of Flesher's sandbagging, sits on the mat, not able to bring him back.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

FIVE!

 

"Is he--is Tom Flesher going to leave this match. I've never seen Tom Flesher actually leave a match in my time here commentating for the SWF." says Comet, not sure what to make of this.

 

"Hold on! Tom--hey Tom, I talking to you." shouts a voice from the back. It's the voice of Alex Zenon, SWF commissioner. "Stop the count Eddy. Tom I'll give you one chance to get back in that ring and finish this match like you said you would."

 

Flesher ponders on this and hefts the belt on his shoulder, while Ryan Dustin looks on from his knees in the ring. "Please, like you can do anything. King owns you." he shouts and he adds much less loudly, so that no-one can hear... "and I own you job."

 

"I won't let this happen. I warned you, Tom. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I should have known better. You pulled the same thing on me once before and I may not be able to do much, but I will strip you of that title, if you don't get back in that ring. Start the count."

 

SIX!

 

 

SEVEN!

 

 

EIGHT!

 

 

Tom doesn't have a mic, but you can see him saying "You won't do it, Alex."

 

 

NINE!

 

 

But Alex will do it.

 

 

TEN!

 

 

DING--DING--DING!

 

And Tom's about to find that out.

 

 

"Give me that belt! You may think King can save your ass but it's not happening today. As of right now, I'm stripping you of the SWF Cruiserweight Title."

 

One of the ring attendant comes up to Flesher, who is still in shock from the announcement and yanks the title away, running up to the commissioner. The crowd cheers as Zenon takes the belt and we fade to commercial break...

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Lobo heads to Candaces' dressing room to find the door locked. He glances nervously at his watch to check the time, then catches his breath. There is still quite a while before her upcoming cage match with "The Icon" After composing himself he knocks softly on the door.

 

"You ok?" he asked in a concerned tone as the door slowly opens. To Lobo's surprise it is answered by Mr. Tanner who looks extremely pissed.

 

"What do you want big and bald?" he barks as Lobo locks eyes on him.

 

"I'll settle for your damn skull on my wall!" Lobo barks back as Frisco trots out of the room to seperate the two.

 

"Guys can we have a little unity here?" he asks as the two men regain their composure.

 

"Were's Candace?" Lobo quizes as Frisco closes the door.

 

"She's with the doc"

 

 

Inside the lockerroom Dr.Morgan is laying out some surgical dressings on a table. He is being extremely careful not to compromise his sterile field. Candace sits nearby on a wooden bench with a large abd pad covering her left cheek. She also has a three inch think kling dressing wrapped all around her head which is supporting another large abd pad covering her left temple. She is looking sheepishly at the floor as Dr.Morgan speaks.

 

"I'll be changing the dressings today. You must keep these on at all times" he barks in an annoyed manner. "Under no circumstances are you to remove them otherwise your wounds will get infected."

 

Candace nods quietly in agreement as Dr. Morgan begins to remove the white micropore tape that secures the abd to her left cheek.

 

"Please close your eyes because i'm going to be spraying a solution in this wound that is a strong anti bacterial. If it gets in your eyes it could harm them."

 

As Candace locks her arms shut Morgan quickly lifts part of the dressing. He slowly takes a 4cc syring with a 18 guage angiocath and shoots a stream of clear fluid onto the wound. For her part Candace can only feel the cool liquid run down her face as Dr. Morgan quickly changes the dressing.

 

"Just please be certain to always keep this covered. The wound is very deep and will take months to close. The slightest tamperng with it could cause it to get infected which could pose serious problems should the infection get into your facial muscles or nerves"

 

Again Candace merely nods in mute understanding. Her eyes remain locked shut.

 

After a moment Dr.Morgan removes the kling from her head. He gently removes the blood soaked ABD pad from the left side of her head and tosses it into a red plastic bag nearby. A large portion of her hair directly above her left ear has been shaved off as several long lacerations are clearly visible. He quickly cleans them with a four by four and some normal saline before covering them with a telfa dressing and another ABD pad. He mutters to himself as he struggles to recover her head with another kling dressing.

 

Outside the room Frisco begins to pace. He glances at his watch nervously.

 

"Damn it hurry the fuck up"

 

Seconds latter the door opens and Dr. Morgan comes out with candace who is now wearing a mask to conceal her face. As Lobo turns his head to avoid her eyes Frisco smiles at the doctor.

 

"Is everything ok?" Frisco asks as Dr. Morgan shakes his hand.

 

"Perfect" he replies.

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As we come back from commercial break, we find that the steel cage for our next match is already set up, the ominous bars locked up together to prevent normal entry or exit. As the officials put the finishing touches on locking up the cage's connections for good, Funyon steps into the middle of the ring to announce.

 

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special attraction steel cage match! The only way to win this match is by climbing over the top of the cage and having both feet hit the arena floor.

 

As soon as that announcement by Funyon is finished, the somewhat melodious sounds of "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks starts to play over the arena, quickly causing the crowd to let loose with their boos and "Slut" chants!

 

Funyon: Introducing first, to announce one of the participants to the ring, the self-proclaimed future owner of SWF...KELLY...CONNELLY!

 

"How can these people give someone like Kelly such a negative reaction whenever she comes out, Comet?" Riley ponders as the leggy red-head makes her way out, wearing a black business suit that shows plenty of leg and a good amount of cleavage.

 

"After all the things she's done in the past to help Max King get some wins in this company, I don't find it surprising at all, really." Comet notes. "But this match will be against her...the solid steel structure of the cage will deter any attempts by Kelly to get involved in this match, unlike at Lockdown."

 

Riley sighs as Kelly steps through the cage door, then the ring ropes. "I know you're jealous of her, Comet, but come on...you should really talk nicer about the future boss of this company."

 

Comet is about to comment on what Riley says, but before he can, Kelly grabs the microphone away from Funyon, looking out to the crowd in the arena.

 

"The last step before greatness is here!" Kelly calls out to the crowd, who naturally don't give her the reaction that she's looking for. "Because tonight, here on MY show, Smarkdown, we're going to see my man take out another punk on his way to the greatness and glory of being on the card for Kelly Connelly Presents: Genesis V! So right here in...um..." she pauses, pulling out a card from her pocket.

 

"What's this all about?" Comet asks. "She can't remember where we are tonight?"

 

"Well, this IS a no-name town." Riley replies.

 

Kelly smiles. "That's right...here in Cleveland, Ohio...you're going to see the slaughtering of a girl that WANTED to be as popular as I am in this company. A slaughtering like what you will see against Manson at Genesis! A slaughtering by the one...the only..."THE ICON"...MAX...KING!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

"Superstar" starts to play up over the speakers now, and clad in his royal blue ring attire, as well as having a smug, arrogant expression on his face is "The Icon" Max King...causing an expulsion of boos from the crowd for him.

 

"Max King is going to prove a point here tonight, Comet!" Riley begins. "He beat Cortez last week in a submission match, and to further his training for his submission cage match, he's going to beat the freakish dyke Candace tonight inside the steel cage!"

 

"I still question this intelligence of this though." Comet notes. "Manson isn't going to be someone to take lightly, and King may be risking his body too much to prepare for a match like this."

 

As King enters the ring now, Riley scoffs. "Come on tights boy, look at Max King! He's the epitome of conditioning, Comet! He's going to make quick work of Candace here tonight, especially if she's not recovered from the ass-kicking she got on the last show!"

 

"That is a question that is on a lot of peoples minds, is whether or not Candace is ready to go out for this match after what happened to her against Austin Sly this past Lockdown." Comet states, ignoring the love-fest between Kelly and Max in the middle of the ring.

 

While this exchange goes on between King and Kelly, "Helter Skelter" starts to play over the speakers, and all eyes turn towards the entryway, to see Candace come out...with a black leather mask on her face to cover her injuries from her last match.

 

"...well, I didn't expect this..." Comet notes as Candace comes out.

 

"I'd say it's an improvement." Riley says, not caring about emotional feelings as far as Candace is concerned.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, from Okinawa, Japan...weighing in at 130 pounds...CANDACE!

 

The crowd is unsure how to react for the now masked female wrestler Candace, but as the camera comes close to her face, it can be seen in her eyes that she has nothing but anger and contempt.

 

"What's up with the chick, Comet? She afraid of a little bloodshed that she won't show her face anymore to the public?" Riley asks.

 

"I'm not sure what is with Candace and this mask, but I believe it's the scar that she got in her match with Austin Sly that caused this. She must be ashamed of how she looks now." Comet states as Candace is about to enter the ring.

 

"She wasn't that great looking to begin with, if you ask me." Riley states. "And King showing it's no concern to him as he helps Candace into the ring..."

 

"...yeah, by flinging her by her head into the ring. This match has started prematurely!" Comet calls.

 

With Candace flipped into the ring the way she is, King tries to take advantage and, to the disdain of the fans, escape the cage from over the top. Candace gets up much quicker than King probably would have expected, grabbing his ankle and pulling him off of the cage down to the mat. She starts to kick away at the ribs of King when he's down on the mat now, not stopping one bit as she seems to be wanting to injure King with the kicking. King shows his wrestling skills as he grabs her kicking leg, pulling it so she falls to the mat once again. Candace lands, but not without making sure that her other leg sweep-kicks King right in the side of the head. King and Candace both start to get up to their feet at about the same time, King going to protest with Candace about what she did in the match, but Candace just pretty much charges in to hit him in the head with a spinning kick, then mounts him to punch him repeatedly in the face.

 

"I've never seen Candace this violent before!" Comet notes. "That last match she had must have put her greatly over the edge!"

 

"Either that or it's just that time of the month for her!" Riley calls as Candace drops her elbows repeatedly into the face of King. She turns "The Icon" over to his chest now, and goes to lock him up while he's on the mat with her regal stretch, but King manages to roll out of the move and chops Candace right across her breasts.

 

"Yeowch...I'm no woman, but that must have been REALLY painful for her." Comet concludes.

 

"Oh, you think?" Riley sarcastically replies. "They hurt no matter WHO you are."

 

With Candace holding her chest from the chop right on her breasts, King has regained the advantage in the match, and takes this moment to whip Candace into the ropes. As she comes back towards him, he lifts her up, and with ease flapjacks her onto the mat chest first. King, having a smug expression on his face, goes over to the cage to apparently climb out of it, but then pauses, looking back and seeing Candace starting to get up to her feet. He smirks, kneeling down right in front of her while she's down, taunting her a bit (the camera too far away to hear exactly what he's saying though), before slapping her right across her face.

 

"Oooooh...." the crowd calls, knowing that Candace didn't like that at all. Candace holds her face a bit, then glares over to King, and hits him right in the jaw with a hard elbow shot, before grabbing him by the throat on the mat and starts choking him.

 

"ILLEGAL CHOKE!" Riley is VERY quick to point out. "THAT'S AN ILLEGAL CHOKE-HOLD!"

 

"What do you want done about it? It's perfectly legal in this type of match, and King himself requested this type of match!" Comet states.

 

Candace lets go of King while he's holding his throat, going to the nearest corner and calling for King to get back up to his feet. When King finally does get back up to his feet, Candace leaps off of the top rope and nails King right in the face with a Missile Dropkick!

 

"That could do it for Candace!" Comet notes. "All she has to do now is climb out of the cage, and that's it for her!"

 

Candace glares down at King through her mask, the camera getting as close a zoom as possible...she shakes her head slowly, as if to say she's not ready for this match to be over just yet. She moves in over to King now, grabbing him by his hair to get him off of the mat and back up to his feet, before flinging him head-first into the steel cage!

 

"NO! Candace is jealous of how good looking King is, and now she's trying to make him look as hideous as she probably looks now!" Riley almost cries.

 

"Either that, or she felt that King wasn't out of the match enough for her to make the escape." Comet states. "There does have to be some type of strategy in this type of match, you know."

 

Candace goes to try to slam the face of King into the steel of the cage once again, but King blocks with his hands, elbowing Candace hard into the sternum, before returning the favor that Candace did to him and slams her face into the cage now. Taking a chance while Candace is down on the match, King starts to scale the steel cage now, trying to make his escape. He manages to grab the top bar of the cage, about to pull himself out from the cage before Candace starts to scale the cage herself, showing great agility as she grabs the head of King with her legs and head scissors him down off the cage back down to the mat! Doing that, however, took a bit out of Candace as she landed on her chest once again.

 

"That shows just how stupid Candace is!" Riley calls. "She had the match won earlier with the missile dropkick...well, maybe...but then she went for more punishment on King. Now she's paying for her idiocy!"

 

Candace, despite knocking the breath briefly out of herself from that move, manages to get up off of the mat before King even starts to move. She watches as King finally starts to move when she's completely up to her feet now, and when King is on his knees on the mat, she swings her foot right into the side of his head with a Buzzsaw Kick, causing King to crumple down to the mat in a heap. Candace now goes over to the cage, and seems to finally be ready to climb out of the cage now to get the win.

 

"Candace is going to get the win in this match right now, Riley!" Comet calls. "She's going to get herself back into the winning ways as she escapes the steel cage right now."

 

Candace reaches the top of the cage, but unknown to her, King is back up to his feet behind her, and with surprising speed for someone that was just kicked in the head like he was climbs up the cage and grabs Candace by her head, leaping off of the cage and dropping her from the top of the cage all the way to the mat now with a neck breaker! King, unlike Candace, lands on his back when he drops her with the move, thusly being able to get back up to his feet after the move.

 

Seeing Candace start to get back up to her feet once again, King decides that he needs to put some more punishment on the now masked woman, lifting her back up to her feet once again and moving her over to the cage. Seeing an opportunity with the iron bars set up, he lifts Candace up off of her feet to apparently drop her with an Atomic Drop, but instead holds her up in that position before pushing her through the bars, making sure that one of the vertical bars hits her right into her crotch area! The referees admonish King from the outside of the ring, but King pays them no heed as he grabs the vulnerable Candace, holding her into a Dragon Sleeper position!

 

"That's the way King! King is so smart, Comet...he's going to make sure that Candace has passed out completely in the ring before he goes to try to get out of the cage again. And with this style of hold, there's nothing that..."

 

Before Riley can finish his statement, Candace uses her free hand to try and punch away at the ripped abdomen region of King, rocking King but not breaking the hold just yet. However, one good elbow shot just below the ribs does, leaving Candace dangling by her feet in the steel bars for the moment. King goes off the ring ropes to drop an elbow right into the face of Candace while she's hanging, but the young Japanese woman shows great strength as she sits up just before the elbow can hit, causing King's elbow to crash down into the mat without a target. Candace finally manages to get her feet free of the bars of the steel cage, slipping back down to the mat and rolling onto her feet now. Candace goes to kick King again, King catches the kick to try and counter, Candace then tries to hit him in the back of the head with an Enzuigiri, but King has that scouted, ducking his head just in time and grabbing the other leg while she's down, locking up her legs into the four position and holding her back with a Texas Cloverleaf!

 

"Max King holding Candace down with the dangerous submission move right here, and this is going to put amazing pressure onto the back and legs of Candace right now!" Comet notes.

 

"And if we're lucky, that will keep Candace down just long enough for King to get out of the steel cage and rest up for Genesis!" Riley says. "Watch this Manson, this is going to be a very possible future for you in a very short time!"

 

King continues to pull back with the Texas Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring right now, loving the screams of pain that Candace is letting out as he pulls back with the hold. From the outside of the ring, Kelly leans in as close to the cage on the side that Candace's face is near, shouting at her. "YEAH! TAKE THAT YOU UGLY BITCH! YOU KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE THAT!"

 

Max King finally drops the legs of Candace, leaving her writhing in pain in the mat now, and looks to the nearest cage wall. Brushing off his hands as if he believes that this is over and done with now, Max King calmly walks over to the cage and starts to scale the side of the cage, leaving Candace down.

 

"Prepare the champagne, Comet! This match is all over with now! Max King is going to easily escape the steel cage, and there's nothing that Candace can do about it!" Riley states.

 

"You may just be right about that, Riley. Candace's body was pulled back pretty hard with that Texas Cloverleaf in the middle of the ring, so it's going to be really hard for her to get up that cage to try and stop someone like King from leaving." Comet states, then blinks. "But Candace IS getting up off of the mat now! She's struggling up to her feet, and she's going to try to stop King from leaving!"

 

King smugly poses on the top rope for a bit, unaware that Candace is back up to her feet, and goes to reach for the top bar of the cage again, before getting nailed right between the legs with a low blow by Candace. Kelly holds her hands over her mouth, nervous about the condition of King after that low blow, and Candace climbs up onto the ropes once again, leaping up and taking King down from the rope to the mat with a hurricanrana! Instinctively, Candace goes for a cover in the match, but then remembers that this match is a cage match, and quickly gets off of King and goes over to the cage, now trying to climb up and out herself.

 

"Candace is just lucky that this isn't a regular match, otherwise she wouldn't have had the chance that she did to try and get out of the cage!" Riley states. "Hurting the genetics of Max King like she did, that just isn't right!"

 

"And crotching Candace into the steel bar like she was earlier WAS, Riley?" Comet questions as Candace takes a few deep breaths while on the top rope, before going to make that final climb up, over, and out. Kelly reaches her hands between the bars of the steel cage to bang the mat, making sure that she's making enough noise for King to hear. King starts to stir a bit, seeing Candace going to make the final climb out of the cage now, already halfway over the top bar and about to leave out of the cage. Acting as quickly as he can, King goes over to that side of the steel cage, climbs up quickly, grabs the head of Candace, and drops her right onto her head into the ring with a DDT from the top of the cage to the mat in the middle of the ring, now both competitors down and seemingly out in the middle of the ring.

 

"This match is quickly taking something major out of both Max King and Candace, and again I question if it was wise for King to go into this type of match not to long before his match against Manson at Genesis V." Comet states. "His body may not be in the condition for his match. And as for Candace, she may never be the same after this match either."

 

"King knows what he's doing in this match, Comet. He's preparing his body for the punishment of a submission cage match. As for Candace, she's never been right in the head to begin with, so it won't really matter WHAT you do to someone like her." Riley states, as both Candace and King start to squirm up to their respective vertical positions once again. Candace goes to punch King into the face, leaning all of her body weight into the punch to knock King back just enough, but King retaliates with a punch of his own, the body weight of his punch allowing more damage to Candace than Candace did to him with her punch. While both combatants are in a kneeling position, they start to trade right hands with each other, until King decides to take one of his personal shortcuts and jabs a thumb right into the eye of Candace after blocking one of her punches. King takes the momentary distraction to get himself back up to his feet now, and turns Candace over to her chest now, going to drop a knee right into her back. Candace however moves out of the way, quickly going behind King and getting the chance, with surprising strength for someone her size, hoists King up and drops him down with a German Suplex right to the mat! Candace doesn't let go of her hands, however, as she goes to get him back to his feet once again before dropping him one more time with a German Suplex!

 

"Candace making a quick comeback right now, and this is exactly what she needs. King has been dropped onto his head twice in a row, and I don't think that he's going to get up anytime soon right now." Comet states.

 

"Come on King, get back up! You have a point that you have to prove out there, you NEED to get this win, Max!" Riley calls.

 

Candace looks down at King while he's on the mat, then goes to lift him by his hair again, then flings him by his hair face first into the steel cage! This time, the hit busts something onto Max King, as there's a small trickle of blood coming from his forehead now.

 

"EEP! King is bleeding! Someone get the EMT out here quickly!" Riley calls. "Someone as good looking as King shouldn't have to see his own blood right now!"

 

"That's a part of the match, Riley, and you know it!" Comet retorts. "If he didn't expect to bleed in the ring, he shouldn't have signed for the match in the first place!"

 

Candace only seems to get more fired up seeing the blood coming off of the face of King, grabbing King with a headlock and starting to repeatedly drive her hand into the cut that's on the face of King, trying to intensify the bleeding from his forehead!

 

"Candace is a sadistic bitch!" Riley calls. "Someone should get into the ring with a straightjacket and bind her up tightly, throwing her into a padded room!"

 

"Why don't you go into the ring right now and do it to her then, Riley?" Comet asks, as Candace starts to drive her fingernails into the cut on King's forehead now.

 

"I have to carry you on the booth, Comet! You should know that after all of this time working together." Riley replies.

 

Candace slams the back of the head of King into the mat a few times now, causing The Icon's head to almost start looking like a basketball as it repeatedly hits the mat. With King weary and bloody now, Candace goes to the top rope, looking down at him and leaping off, hitting King right in the chest with a Swanton Bomb that causes the wind to be knocked out of the body of King. Candace makes sure to spit on the downed King, before going to the cage and starting to scale the ring ropes and then the cage bars to make her way out of the ring.

 

"This match is now over Riley...Candace has bloodied up Max King and knocked the wind out of him now, it's academic now that she's going to get the win." Comet states.

 

"This isn't the way that the match is supposed to go!" Riley protests. "King is supposed to win this match, not that masked slut!"

 

Candace scales up the cage, looking back this time to make sure that King is still down on the mat, and then goes to complete her escape from the cage. However, as she leans over to the top of the cage to get out, Kelly is right there to pull out a Singapore Cane from under the ring, and then nails Candace HARD between the shoulders with the cane shot!

 

"Kelly getting involved in a match of Max King once again!" Comet says angrily. "Can King EVER wrestle a match where Kelly DOESN'T get involved?"

 

"Why should he? You use whatever it takes to win a match, Comet. Kelly is one of King's assets, so why shouldn't King have her help him out when the need comes?" Riley questions.

 

"You wouldn't understand. You have a mixed sense of justice." Comet states as King starts to get up, Candace still hanging halfway over the top of the steel cage and halfway in the ring. King reaches up to grab Candace by her legs now, pulling her off of the cage and causing her to hit the top rope throat first. King then grabs Candace by her head, pulling her back and drops her with a reverse DDT right onto his awaiting knee, making sure the back of Candace's neck hits the point of his knee. Max King wipes some of the blood off of his head now, glaring back down at Candace as she lays down on the mat, and lifts her up to her feet once again, going to start slamming her head repeatedly into the steel cage, a look of sheer rage on his face as he continues to brutalize the already hurting face of Candace...ramming it repeatedly into the steel cage, but the damage being done to the face of Candace isn't really seen as the mask obscures her face.

 

"I have to wonder if this is really doing any major damage to Candace though..." Riley asks. "Who knows what kind of padding she has in that mask? She could have a steel lining in it!"

 

"I think the way that Candace is falling down on the mat now proves how wrong you are in this situation, Riley. That mask is just to hide the face of Candace apparently...and who knows what kind of damage has been done to the face of Candace under that mask." Comet notes.

 

King lifts Candace back up to her feet after she falls down from being slammed repeatedly into the cage, and slams her one time to the mat before going over to the nearest turnbuckle. Scaling it slower than usual for him, he eventually reaches the top rope, and after pointing up to the sky with both of his hands, leaps off the top rope and drops a picture-perfect elbow drop right onto the downed Japanese female! King, apparently getting a second wind, rolls backwards right onto his feet now and starts to flex a bit, almost adding insult to the injury that he put onto Candace just a little bit ago.

 

"I wouldn't be posing if I were King in this situation, Riley." Comet states. "Candace could recover a bit at any moment now, and turn the advantage back into her favor. Posing could cost him the win."

 

"Oh shut up Comet!" Riley says. "King is doing this for all of the fans of his in the crowd, and especially for his two biggest fans...me and Kelly!"

 

"You mean his ONLY two fans, Riley."

 

King turns around and sees how Candace is rolled over onto her chest again, holding it in pain as she still tries to get back up to her feet to continue on with the match. King just curses at seeing Candace try to get back up to her feet, and hits her with a sledgehammer blow right between the shoulder-blades now to knock her down, but Candace manages to get back up again! King tries to get back up once more, but this time Candace pops up to her feet faster than King can strike her, and she starts to repeatedly hit King into the side and chest with hard and fast kicks, following up the kicks to the side with a hard roundhouse kick right to the jaw, taking King right down to the mat! Candace gets King back up to his feet now, grabbing his head and using the ropes to drop him down with a tornado DDT! Candace doesn't waste any time trying to climb up now, trying to leave the cage and get the win, but King recovers before Candace can get too far up in her climb and climbs up on the other side of Candace, the two combatants struggling to knock each other off the side of the cage with fists, while each holding onto the cage with their other hands. Neither combatant seems to get one set advantage though, as they're both knocked off the cage at the same time, and both fall on the back of their heads onto the mat below!

 

"Well this doesn't look good for the result of this match..." Comet states as both King and Candace seem to be down and out in the middle of the ring the way that they fell. "If both of these competitors are knocked out, then this match will have to be thrown out."

 

"Don't count King out just yet, Comet!" Riley states. "King can recover from this, you just need to give him the right moment to make a comeback!"

 

However, despite the words of Riley, it's Candace who makes her way back up to her feet first, with King starting to get up slowly after. Candace is about to strike King, but she sees Kelly on the outside, still holding the Singapore Cane that she struck Candace between the shoulders with earlier on in the match. Candace takes a chance, reaching through the bars of the cage to grab the cane, pulling it into the ring with her. When King gets back completely onto his feet, Candace swings the cane as hard as she can, causing a loud smack to reverberate throughout the arena. Candace glares evily through her mask at King, and starts to smack away at his body repeatedly with the cane!

 

"HEY! Someone stop this psychopath already! That was Kelly's personal property, and now Candace is abusing it!" Riley shouts.

 

"Kelly was the one that first used it in this match to help King, now Candace is using it to her favor." Comet notes.

 

Candace lifts King up to his feet one more time, kicking him repeatedly to get him onto the ropes. She follows this up by whipping him into the ring ropes now, going to kick him one more time...but King catches the leg, lifting Candace up, and tossing her into the steel cage. However...this toss doesn't allow her to hit the cage face first...but instead her head gets stuck between one of the squares of the steel cage.

 

"Oh shit, now THIS is priceless!" Riley says. "Look at that slut squirm...there's no way out for her right now!"

 

"Candace just got her head stuck between one of the squares of the steel cage, and King seems surprised by this." Comet notes. "Does Max King have a heart after all? Is he showing concern for..."

 

Comet's question is quickly answered when King kicks her hard once in the legs, making sure that she's still trapped. Smiling widely, he starts to scale the cage right next to Candace, the masked woman not able to get out from being trapped like she is, and King easily reaches the top of the cage, taking his time to slip over the top of the cage.

 

"MAX KING SUCKS!"

 

"MAX KING SUCKS!"

 

"MAX KING SUCKS!"

 

The crowd is almost deafening as King slowly makes his way down to the arena floor, the life being drained out of the exposed part of the face of Candace as the cage partially chokes her out. Making sure to get one more shot into the face of Candace, King lets go of the side of the cage to drop down to the arena floor.

 

*DING, DING, DING!*

 

"Superstar" starts to play over the speakers again, as Kelly rushes over to Max King to hold his hand high up in the air.

 

Funyon: Here is your winner..."THE ICON"...MAX...KING!

 

"One lucky break was all it took for Max King to get the win." Comet notes. "If Candace didn't get stuck head first into the cage like she was, she might just have gotten the victory over King."

 

"But she didn't and King's got a good winning streak going for himself going into Genesis!" Riley states. "Manson, you better watch out...King's on a roll, baby!"

 

The camera fades out on the inside of the ring, as EMTs quickly get into the ring to try to free Candace from being stuck into the square of the cage.

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“…well call me when you DO hear something, mmkay?”

 

The familiar voice of Mike Van Siclen is the first thing heard as Smarkdown returns from its latest commercial break, as the scene opens in the backstage area of the arena. Van Siclen stands in the corner of the room, turning to face his compadres in the Urban Empire; the incomparable Masked Man, and the co-holder of the SWF World Tag Team Titles, Mr. Todd Cortez.

 

“So what did they have to say?” questions Cortez of Van Siclen’s phone conversation.

 

“They’ve heard nothing. Just like us. Genesis is just around the corner and not even the most inside of insiders can tell us who we’re taking on. You would have thought that when we gained this hero status of ours that the suits in this company would warm up to us, but noooooooo.”

 

“Any ideas, mastermind?”

 

“Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Absolutely…”

 

“OK…OK. I catch your drift, Mike.”

 

In a show of frustration, Van Siclen kicks the wall, causing a loud bang and scaring whoever may be at the catering table on the other side.

 

“This is crap, guys. The three of us have been tearing it up lately. We’ve had Revolution Zero breathing down our necks, and given it back to them ten-fold. BOTH of you guys have had some remarkable showings against Landon Maddix lately. Oh, and did I forget to mention that we’re the most dominant SWF World Tag Team Champions in HISTORY, Todd? I swear, I…”

 

“Mike, ease up for a second, will ya?”

 

“Yeah, I mean if it wasn’t for the fact that you were the most reviled piece of pond scum in the SWF for the last who-knows-how-long, maybe we WOULD get a fair shake!”

 

Cortez and Van Siclen pause, and then simultaneously turn to Masked Man, who returns their bewildered looks with one of his own.

 

”What…I mean, I’m just saying…”

 

“I know, Mask.” Van Siclen retorts. “My in-ring reputation is one thing, but I guess it’s gonna take some time for everyone in the company to get used to “Mike Van Siclen: Fan Favorite”.”

 

“Hell, I’M still getting used to it, brah,” says Cortez before patting Mike on the shoulder, showing he’s just joshing around. “Just remember one thing…you ain’t gotta TRY, you just gotta DO. Keep goin’ on about things the way we’ve been. Fight tooth and nail, stand your ground. People are gonna have to respect you to like you.”

 

“Baby, I’m the king of charisma around here. Of COURSE they’re gonna like me!”

 

Cortez just rolls his eyes, while Masked Man shrugs.

 

“Guys, I’m just kidding. Sorta. Anyhow Todd, that was very heartfelt and all, but the fact that we’re walking around with these belts puts a nice target on each of our asses. They could throw anyone in our path.”

 

“Yeah, they could. So we just plow right through ‘em. Just like the Casino Brawl, just like Revolution Zero, just like…”

 

“…the Casino Brawl.”

 

“Yeah, what about it?”

 

“It gave me an idea.”

 

“Me too! I say we find the nearest one, hit up the buffet after the show, and then hit the slots. I swore I saw Max King hiding a roll of quarters in his boot, so I’ll go steal the boot, and then we’re off!” proclaims a way too enthusiastic Masked Man.

 

“Mask, first off we’re in Cleveland, not Vegas. Secondly, why would you steal the boot and not just the quarters?”

 

“Sheesh Todd, I don’t want to make it obvious!”

 

Cortez just shakes his head. Van Siclen chuckles.

 

“All right look. Mask, I’ll see what I can dig up as it pertains to you for Genesis."

 

"Actually..." the Romanian meekly speaks up, but he's cut off.

 

"As for these belts, mi amigo," Van Siclen continues, "my wheels are spinnin’, so I’m gonna see what I can do about it. All I know is that we made these belts mean something, you and I, and I won’t be content sitting on the sidelines come Sunday.”

 

“I’m with you on that. Go do your thing, brah. Mask?" The tag champions turn to look at their compadre, but he can only shake his head.

 

"My friends, all of this talk about Genesis, I just...I...I don't think I deserve to be on the show. I deserve to sit on the sidelines."

 

"What?!" Cortez questions his former partner, "Mask, what are you talking about? You were USJL Champion for a month, you helped me defend the tag titles twice, and you took it to Landon freakin' Maddix!"

 

"Was, helped, and took," Mask repeats, "past tense, Todd. I haven't done anything worthy of wrestling in Genesis for over a month now. I have been wallowing in mediocrity. I just...I just need time to sort things out."

 

"Right, Mask," Van Siclen interjects, "And a perfect way to get back on track would be a win at Genesis."

 

"No, Mike. I have already planned it out. I have booked a flight, tonight, to Cuba, so I can experience Hurricane Ivan first hand. From there, I will sail to the waters of the Antarctic, and go on a scuba diving exhibition."

 

Van Siclen scoffs and Cortez lets out a chuckle at the silliness, but Mask is completely serious.

 

"I need to get my edge back, my friends. I wish you all the best of luck at Genesis, but for me...it is not my time."

 

After one last look at his Urban Empire teammates, Mask turns and exits the locker room. Van Siclen looks at Cortez, and at their locker room, which suddenly looks much emptier.

 

"So, uh, I guess we're recruiting, eh?"

 

Cortez lets out a chuckle. "I guess so."

 

Van Siclen sighs, slumping down on a chair and grabbing a bottle of water. He takes a drink and continues. "Man, I don't get him sometimes. We're riding high, we're going to be the guys who exterminate Revolution Zero, and he goes and bails on us."

 

"Aww, he's not bailing on us, man," Cortez says, but his words betray his grim expression. Van Siclen cocks an eyebrow at Cortez.

 

"Okay, let's say he's not bailing on us, merely taking a hiatus," Van Siclen says. "So now, we're outnumbered again. If Rev-0 suddenly decides, 'Hey, let's beat on the blonde guy', we're pretty much screwed, are we not?"

 

"Well... I'm sure we could fight them off for the time being."

 

"Temporary solution isn't going to work, Todd, and you and I both know that," Van Siclen says. He pauses to take another swig of water, and then gets to his feet. "Look, we have some allies in the fed... I'll start talking to people, see if we can't drum up some more of a resistance towards Revolution Zero. I know they're recruiting, so it can't hurt for me to call a few guys, can it?"

 

Cortez sighs. "I suppose not."

 

Van Siclen smiles. "There we go. I think I may give Birdman a call, he seems to know what's up even if nobody's quite sure who he is... and Johnny, Johnny'd be on our side no problem. And Andrea, and Austin... I'm sure we can find someone, Todd."

 

Todd nods. "Mike, it's not going to be like Mask, you and I both know that. Mask was reliable, Mask was eccentric, Mask was pretty much one of us, you're not going to find that in Johnny or Birdman or Andrea and you know that."

 

Mike sighs. "Yeah, I know, Todd, but as much as it sucks to lose Mask, we have to keep plugging away if we're going to keep the gold where it belongs. Look, I'm going to start calling people... I'll catch you later."

 

Van Siclen grabs his half of said gold, getting to his feet. He slaps hands with Cortez and walks out the door, dialing his phone as he exits the room. Cortez runs a hand over his face, lost in thought as to what’s in store for The Urban Empire come Genesis.

 

FADE OUT.

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"You can't do this!"

 

Alex Zenon stares back with cold eyes at the two-headed monster of Brian Applewhite and Tom Flesher. He can't do this? He can't do this! The hell he can't! He's still the Smarks Wrestling Federation commissioner, at least for now...

 

"The hell I can't! I told you!" growls the former one letter wonder, pointing at Flesher. "I said you had to defend the belt." Alex switches his attention to the man who said he couldn't do this. "I told you he had to defend the belt, King, but he walked out because he thought you could push me around. Don't think I haven't heard the rumors about my job. I have and if that's the case, then I'm not backing down anymore."

 

Flesher turns to King, who give him a reassuring look and motions for him to simmer down, so he can handle the situation.

 

"And I told you, Tom, I wasn't going to let it happen. So I took the belt. You don't deserve it anyway. It meant nothing to you." Flesher, still affronted that he may actually lose the belt this way, raises his eyebrow at that comment. It doesn't matter if the belt means anything to him. It should still be his property. "But it does mean something, damn it. And I'm going to prove that right now."

 

King steps into his path, as Alex moves around Flesher.

 

"I'm going out there now. I've got something to announce." King raises his hand, as if he's about to speak, but Alex interrupts. "You've got him in your Genesis match, so stop bitching."

 

The Suicide King; known far and wide for his quick wit and sneering sarcasm, can only stand there lamely, mouth hanging open, as Zenon sidesteps him and stalks down the hall.

 

"Alex!" shouts King, regaining his words. "Alex!" he says again with a pause, quickening his pace to catch up, but he still gets no response. "Zenon, you listen to me when I'm talking to you. You go out there and you'll regret it!"

 

 

King stops chasing after Z, shocked that he won't acknowledge him...

 

 

"I already have plenty to regret." says Zenon over his shoulder, not even breaking stride. "What's one more thing."

 

The camera fades away and comes back to rest on the faces of Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley, each pondering on this new bit of information. Alex Zenon is on his way to the ring. He has the Cruiserweight title with him. And he is not a happy camper.

 

"It looks like our commissioner is making his way out to the ring, Robert." starts Comet. "And from that display, I'd say he's got something important to say."

 

"I still can't believe he stripped Tom of the Cruiserweight title. Zenon's just jealous! Jealous and ungrateful!" adds Riley with a snarl. "He must have been holding that grudge for ages, Comet."

 

"Well, like I said earlier, the match in question was before my time--when Mark Stevens was your announce partner in fact." He turns to look at Riley and continues. "But Tom Flesher knew the risks, Robert. He sat there and mouthed off to the Commissioner--he called bluff and paid the price."

 

 

"I'm out here tonight, to tell you fans something you may have forgotten over the past few months."

 

Zenon raise the Cruiserweight title high in the air with his left hand while hold the mic in his right. "This, is not something you put around your waist to hold up your pants." Zenon paces about the ring, the crowd not quite sure where Alex is going with this. He stops mid stride and faces the ramp; his voice still betraying his anger. "This, is not some fashion accessory! This, is not to be used as a place-mat for dips."

 

The crowd, starting to understand where this is going, begins to cheer at the reaction to Flesher's treatment of the Cruiserweight belt. Alex stares straight ahead, making it clear that this is directed towards the man he left in the back.

 

"And most assuredly, this belt--this belt I hold in my hand, means something!"

 

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

 

"And I'm going to prove it. Ryan Dustin get your ass out here!"

 

"Lap dance" by N.E.R.D begins to play in the background, while multi-colored lights flash. A lone spotlight shines down upon the stage and as the vocals drop, "Lap-dance" continues, causing Ryan Dustin comes to the stage, through the curtain, facing the crowd -- arms folded across his chest -- while his red cameo jacket flutters from an unknown undercurrent. Dustin walks down the entranceway, slapping hands with the fans as he stares into the ring at the Commissioner. He walks up the steel steps, enters the ring, and calmly walks towards Zenon.

 

"I'm sorry that you were cheated out of your chance to win this championship, but I cannot just give you the belt. Now, we haven't always seen eye to eye, but if you respect this title, then you'll want to earn it. And to do that you need to have a match... and I have just the opponent for you!"

 

A pause.

 

"So Birdman, get out here now!"

 

“Let’s Get Retarded” by the Black Eyed Peas starts, as Birdman jumps out from behind the entrance curtain, dancing around like a big…bird. Birdman charges down the isle way, slapping hands with the fans Ultimate Warrior style, and slides into the ring. He jumps to his feet, and starts dancing around to the enjoyment of the fans.

 

"You are two of the best cruiserweights in the SWF today. You've fought with near reckless abandonment, all for the shot at becoming the World Cruiserweight Champion! And at Genesis--"

 

The techno beats of “Sandstorm” stop Zenon in his tracks. The crowd immediately sends off a chorus of jeers. Without wasting any time, “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins pops out from behind the entrance curtain, microphone in hand.

 

“Whoa, whoa whoa. Wait just a minute…”

 

“JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS!”

 

“Zenon, if you do what I think you are about to do, you are making a very grave mistake. Yes, those two in the ring right now are some of the top cruiserweight talent in the SWF. But come on! I AM the best. There is no doubt about it.”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Stay out of this Spike. This doesn’t concern you now. You have your tag title shot at Genesis. There is no need for you to get two title shots in one night.”

 

“No, but you see Zenon. There is. There is this thing in contracts, called a Rematch Clause. You should know about it, Mr. Paperwork Man. I am supposed to get a rematch for my Cruiserweight title. My plan was to save it for Genesis to take out Tom Flesher, and prove that I am better than him once and for all. But Flesher knew I was coming for him, and he forced you to strip him of the title! But that means nothing to me now. I’ll get Flesher one day. But right now, I am putting myself in the Cruiserweight title match at Genesis, whether you like it or not!”

 

"All right, Spike. My hands are tied…”

 

"I told you fans that this belt means something, which it clearly does to these three. And at Genesis, we're going to find out just how much."

 

"At Genesis, one of these three men will climb to the top of the cruiserweight division."

 

"Because we're going to have the number one contender, Ryan Dustin. The man that defeated Tom Flesher just one show ago, Birdman. And the man who was never given his return match for the title, Spike Jenkins... in a match. But not just any match."

 

"A match in which, the Cruiserweight title will be suspended 15 feet into the air, in a contest that has made as many careers as it has destroyed."

 

"At Genesis, it will be Ryan Dustin versus the Birdman versus Spike Jenkins for the Smarks Wrestling Federation World Cruiserweight Title... in a ladder match."

 

All three men looked stunned at the announcement, but with the exception of Spike Jenkins, look thrilled for it. Dustin eyes Birdman. Birdman eyes Dustin. Both turn their heads to the top of the stage, where Spike points at them both…

 

 

 

 

…And motions for the title around his waist…

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We return to SWF Smarkdown from the Gund Arena, where "Superstar" by Saliva blares from the speakers. However, instead of Max King in the ring, we see… Tokyo X, dressed exactly like him, right down to the mask, which has a photo scan of Max King's face on the front…

 

Suddenly, the house lights drop out and multi-coloured strobes come into play, as "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Prong hits! The fans explode into a frenzy of cheers and applause as Manson walks out and stands at the head of the ramp, thrusting his fist into the air. He breaks out of the pose and heads down the ramp…

 

"Welcome back to Lockdown, LIVE from Cleveland!" screams Comet. "Up next Tokyo X will face Citizen Manson… X had to be literally dragged out here by a pair of security guards during the break, I assume because he didn't want to face the awesome power of Mansonosity."

 

"What kind of joke is this? Max King takes on Todd Cortez on Lockdwon and Candace tonight in order to warm up for his match at Genesis, yet Manson wants Tokyo X!" exclaims Riley.

 

"Well, he's obviously making a mockery of Max King, in an effort to throw him off his game."

 

"That's a great cover, I guess Manson didn't have any good ideas for a promo."

 

"FOURTH WALL! FOURTH WALL!" screams Comet, hysterical.

 

"And his opponent, hailing from Denver, Colorado -- weighing in at two-hundred and thirty pounds, standing six feet tall… MMMAAAAAANNNSOOONNNN!" Funyon announces, before hightailing it out of the ring…

 

Manson hits the ring and rolls in under the bottom rope, coming to a stand. He then makes a break for Tokyo X, catching him by surprise and smashing him against the turnbuckles, as Kivell…

 

 

::DING DING!::

 

 

…calls for the bell! Manson, meanwhile, holds X by the neck and repeatedly hits him with rapid punches in the side of the head! Kivell warns Manson away from X, and Manson does so, as X stumbles out of the corner. Manson pursues X as he comes out to the center of the ring. Manson wraps his right arm in front of Tokyo's chest, kicks his leg forward and brings it back just as quickly, connecting with the legsweep and planting X with the STO!

 

"STO by MANSON!" screams Comet.

 

Manson shoots up from the mat and pumps his fist in the air, as Tokyo X lays on the mat. Slowly Tokyo X reaches up into the sky, willing himself over onto his side, propped up by his elbow, and finally to his knees. He gets one foot on the mat and pushes himself up onto both, as Manson runs up beside him. Manson jumps and catches Shining Black by the head on the way down…

 

 

"Here it comes!" Comet says…

 

 

PLANTING HIM WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!

 

 

Tokyo is driven into the mat, and he lays still, Manson looks down at him. Manson then opts to lift X up by the leg, and wrapping it with his right arm, turns X over and leans back, planting a foot in the back of Tokyo X's head in the process.

 

"OMGODZ! THE REQUIEM!" screams Comet.

 

 

Matt Kivell lifts up Tokyo's arm once…

 

 

 

 

 

And it drops to the mat!

 

 

 

 

 

He lifts it up again….

 

 

 

 

 

It drops once more!!

 

 

 

 

Kivell shakes his head, and does the same…

 

 

 

 

Tokyo's arm drops again! Kivell calls for the bell!

 

 

 

::DING DING!::

 

 

"Your winner, by submission… MMMMAAAAANNNNSOOOONNNNN!"

 

"Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" hits, as Manson rolls out of the ring to the applause of the fans and makes his way up the ramp.

 

"I expected something quick, but not this…" says Riley, surprised. "Still, Tokyo X isn't one-eighth the competitor Max King is… and Max King will prove that at Genesis."

 

"Well, Manson makes short work of Tokyo X tonight, obviously seeing a little bit of Max King in that ring tonight…" says Comet, as we go to break.

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We return LIVE to the Gund Arena, former perennial home of the SJL! The loyal Cleveland crowd explodes at the sight of themselves on the SWFtron, waving their signs excitedly. The camera pans past the upper deck before settling on one lucky fan whose sign proclaims that "Grand Slam + La Cucaracha = Breakfast at Denny's." After that quick interlude we immediately return to the SWF announce desk and our very own posterchildren for retroactive abortion, Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley!

 

"And we are back, Citizen Robert!" Comet adjusts his mask thoughtfully. "And what a night it has already been as all our respective superstars look to make their mark on this last show before Genesis 5!"

 

"Bah. Most of these guys are just phoning it in Comet. They should be ashamed of themselves!" Riley scowls into the camera. "Although I have to admit that part of me actually enjoyed watching the Birdman and Andrea beat the bejeezus out of that new Dagda kid. Let the hazing begin!"

 

"I take that to mean that you will be waiting for the young man in his locker room in a whipped cream bikini then?" Comet jabs.

 

"NO!" Riley snorts in indignation.

 

"Turning over a new leaf Robert?"

 

"You masked malcontent! Stop implying that I am gay!"

 

Comet considers for a moment. "You are quite right, Robert. I, and all of my Junior Comet League sidekicks, do hereby formally renounce that most homophobic of activities, namely Riley-baiting."

 

Bobby nods vigorously. "Damned straight you do! And besides..."

 

"Besides what?"

 

"I'm lactose intolerant. It'll be shaving cream tonight."

 

Comet sighs. "I knew it was a bad idea to let you travel between shows with NTD. Anyway-" A pointed glance at Riley stops the retort dead in its tracks. "ANYWAY, next on our card for the evening is... well, I don't know what. Are you missing a page here too, Robert?"

 

Riley shuffles through his copy of the card. "Umm... yes. Damned Kinko's."

 

Comet flashes the nervous grin of those suddenly forced to improvise. "Well, I suppose that reminds me of a story-"

 

 

 

ALL ABOARD! AH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

 

The crowd instantly turns its attention and its venom to the stage where the man himself, the Suicide King, emerges to a thunderous chorus of boos!

 

Comet's no dummy. "Ah. Well, that would explain it. It looks like the Suicide King decided he needed some time to address the crowd, and he just erased whoever else had this time to build up for their match at Genesis."

 

"Umm..." Riley swallows nervously. "He isn't dressed to talk, Comet."

 

And indeed he is not! The Gambling Man walks down the aisleway to the ring, resplendent in his classic black and red tights and showing none of the flab associated with his nemesis Mark Stevens. Stopping for a moment to point at his exceptional physique, the King slides into the ring before rolling to his feet and spreading his arms wide! Soaking in the... well, adoration isn't the right word... of the crowd he spins in place, making sure everyone gets a good long look at the greatest heel the SWF has ever known! Unsurprisingly the crowd responds in its typical Pavlovian fashion.

 

Riley sighs dreamily. "You hope and you pray that this day will come, and then when it does you don't know what to say! The Suicide King is dressed to wrestle in an SWF ring once more, and it's clear that unlike that hack Stevens the Heartbreaker had access to a gym!"

 

"Yes, selling your soul to the Devil will frequently result in an excellent physique." Comet's eyes narrow for a moment. "Robert, are those pages of the card sticking out of your pants?"

 

"When the owner of 25% of the federation tell you to do something Comet, you say yes!"

 

The King of Hearts signals for a microphone, and it is quickly handed to him. The King raises it to his lips to speak... and is quickly drowned out by a flood of heat from the Cleveland crowd! Smiling to himself he waits for a few moments before trying again.

 

"It's nice to see you too. I see you all still haven't forgiven me for closing down the SJL and forcing men who never should have even dreamed of wrestling back into the food service industries. I know it was the only thing that put Cleveland on the map, but you all need to let it go. It isn't healthy to live in the past." Grinning like an idiot, the King soaks in the jeers of the crowd.

 

Riley speaks up. "He plays the crowd like a violin, Comet! It's masterful!" Comet apparently has the good sense not to encourage his partner who is clearly in the throes of full-on heel worship.

 

The Suicide King continues. "I know how much you treasure this time in which we have our little heart to hearts, I'm afraid something more important must take precedence. I know that all of the women and ten percent of the men have noticed my exceptional ring shape..." The boos are interspersed with a a few catcalls and the leers of desperate women. "... But I didn't get this body sitting behind a desk. Oh no! I took special measures once I retired from active competition, and less active commissioning. I relied on the greatest ring technician the SWF has ever know to keep me in my sterling form, and to take me even further. I am in the best wrestling shape of my life now, and it is all thank to the Superior One himself, Tom Flesher!"

 

At the merest mention of Flesher the crowd actually redoubles its booing. King appears mildly annoyed that anyone should be garnering more heat than himself, but the grin is back plastered on his face faster than humanly possible. "Yes, after I voluntarily departed the Commissionership at Genesis 4-"

 

Cyclone Comet cannot help himself by interject. "You mean, after Dace Night and Mark Stevens made you relinquish your unjust iron grip on our federation?!"

 

Luckily King cannot hear the announcer's feed. "I kept myself prepared. I knew the day would come when I would finally have the chance to reveal Stevens as the fraud he is! And to that effect twice a week I met with Tom Flesher who put me through his own unique-" King turns to the camera. "And SUPERIOR," King turns back to the crowd. "Mat routines. By myself, I am one of the greatest athletes the wrestling world has ever know. With Tom's help, I am simply unstoppable."

 

To say that the crowd disagrees with this sentiment would be like saying that World War Two was Hitler's way of saying "Get off my lawn."

 

"And I will show Mark Stevens and Landon Maddix that indisputable fact at Genesis. But tonight, I am going to show YOU." King spins in place, pointing his finger at the capacity crowd. "And toward that end, I would like to introduce you all to a contemporary of mine and Mark's, and my opponent for the evening..."

 

Metallica's "Frantic" immediately kicks up, and if there is one song that the former SJL hometown of Cleveland recognizes, it's that one. The lights fade to a scarlet red as a familiar form in white karate pants emerges from backstage accompanied by a referee... the crowd swells to welcome back a mainstay!

 

"It's XERO!!!" Comet explains. "Xero, the King of the DDT, multiple time champion and veteran of the federation since its IGN days! One of the few men to compete in the ML, JL, and WF, and always with distinction at that! And last but not least, my former tag partner!"

 

"Did we mention perennial jobber, and pity bump to the SWF?" Riley adds.

 

King is apparently taking over for Funyon for this segment as he tries to speak over the surging crowd. "And introducing... from Port Colborne, Ontario, Canada... weighing in at a much beefier than usual 223 lbs, he is another sad relic of a bygone age about to meet his maker thanks to yours truly... he is XERO!"

 

The crowd is buoyant as Xero makes his way to the ring followed closely by the referee for tonight's affair. The camera easily picks up a scowl on Xero's face at King's comments, but the exact profanities he used to express his displeasure are lost to history. Both men slide into the ring with the referee immediately going to a neutral corner. Xero hops on to a turnbuckle and raises both hands to the jubilant crowd who respond vigorously. Even King takes the time to clap mockingly. Xero hops off the turnbuckle and lands in front of the King, and apparently takes the opportunity to jawjack a little to his competitor. King nods occasionally condescendingly... and the ref signals for the bell-

 

But King grabs his arm, shaking his head! Throwing the microphone out of the ring, he gestures to the ref that he wants to do something first... and reaches out a hand to Xero?

 

"Look at that Comet! The Suicide King shows respect to those who have come (and gone) before!" Riley gushes.

 

Comet retorts. "We can only hope that Xero's senses have not been dulled by his time away from the ring!"

 

Well, the crowd is certainly letting Xero know what they think of this latest shennanigan. He looks left, then looks right... he even looks up on the off chance the guy in the lighting rig has an opinion. As the crowd's displeasure grows, Xero falls back on the one thing he can rely on: experience. After all, the last time King and he wrestled (lo those many moons ago) the handshake went off without a hitch!

 

Xero takes King's hand in a firm grip as King's grin grows to the point where the top of his head threatens to fall off. The two men share a steely glance for a long moment.... before-

 

KA-PWING!!!!!!!!!

 

The Suicide King's boot nestles itself snugly and at great force right in Xero's crotch! As the King of the DDT falls to his knees clutching his jumblies, the Gambling Man gestures to the ref. NOW, he can ring the bell.

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

Comet is indignant! "That's reprehensible!!! The Heartbreaker is the worst kind of scum!!!!"

 

"You should watch the exclamation points there Comet. Terry Pratchett says that multiple exclamation points are the signs of an unsound mind. Anyway, what did you expect? This is the Suicide King we're talking about. And that textbook Galatea special is just the thing to show everyone that he is back, baby!"

 

The Suicide King takes a moment to enjoy the crowd's disdain before lifting the hesitant Xero to his feet and whipping him into the ropes... bounce back and Xero's mug eats a picture perfect dropkick that drops him to the mat! King scrambles over to Xero on hands and knees, pouncing on on him and driving his thumbs into his eyes! Xero thrashes around on the mat, screaming as the ref begins his five count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FO-

 

And King breaks the highly illegal hold, springing to his feet and showboating for the crowd as the ref dives in to inspect Xero's eyes. The ref looks closely but is satisfied that the match can continue, and signals thusly. Xero rolls weakly on the mat, one hand at each of his major nerve centers. The Gambling Man saunters over to his downed foe, playfully slapping him on the top of the head a couple of times to help him focus.

 

"Is there no virtue whatsoever in this man?" Comet asks heaven above.

 

King reaches in and grabs ahold of Xero's arm, using it to raise him to his feet. Quickly spinning it in place, he tightens in a loose arm wringer with one arm while cocking his leading leg back... and firing a straight side kick into Xero's armpit!

 

Riley squeals! "Classic King! That's a great way to dislocate a shoulder!"

 

"Loathe though I am to admit it, King's strategy here is as efficient as ever, working over the shoulder to make countering the Jokers Wild all the more difficult!"

 

King keeps ahold of the arm and fires another hard straight kick into Xero's protesting armpit. Xero reaches over with his free arm, desperate to relieve some of the pressure at this latest hotspot of pain on his body... King cocks his leg back one more time, this time bringing it down on Xero's shoulder like an executioner's ax! King finally releases the arm, allowing Xero to fall to the mat now cradling his damaged arm. The Gambling Man doesn't let up however, diving down to the mat on top of Xero and clutching his face with criminal intent! The camera angle makes it awkward to tell exactly what is going on, but it is apparently sufficiently illegal to warrant another five count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

"My goodness. He's raking Xero's nostrils!" Comet exclaims.

 

THREE!

 

And King breaks the hold, wiping his hands on his tights as the referee scolds him. The King smiles, nods, and casually begins wiping his hands on the referee's shirt instead!

 

"The Gambling Man has no respect for the authority of the referee! Look at that show of callous disregard!"

 

Riley chortles with glee. "The Suicide King IS the authority here tonight, Comet! He's in charge, and nobody can stop him in the ring or outside of it!"

 

The referee's face turns an impressive shade of purple as he contemplates striking the Suicide King for his astonishing crassness. The King sees the coming impropriety however, and snarls into the referee's face! In no uncertain terms the King tells the referee exactly what and how he will be doing lest the King does some very unfortunate and permanent things to him! The referee is rocked back by the force of King's rebuke...

 

"If there's one thing the King doesn't tolerate it is impudence in his underlings!" Bobby Riley says approvingly.

 

"But he thinks everyone is under him!" Comet protests.

 

Turning his attention back to his victim, the Gambling Man lifts Xero up and wraps him in a side headlock. Backing into a corner, King raises a finger and spins it around in a mockery of the signature gesture of Mark Stevens! Revving up, King rushes out of the corner and prepares to drop Xero with the bulldog of a lifetime...

 

BUT XERO PICKS HIM UP AND RUNS HIM RIGHT INTO THE OPPOSITE CORNER TURNBUCKLE! Xero drops to a knee to one side of the turnbuckle as King's chest takes the bump the way a pillow takes a bullet! Staggering out of the corner and completely oblivious to the cheers of the crowd, King holds his chest with an expression on his face that indicates he forgot exactly how much that hurt!! Xero stands painedly and takes the distracted King by the arm, whipping him back across the ring to the corner that started it all! Again, King's sternum slams into the well-padded turnbuckle, but you wouldn't know it to look at him!

 

"And it's all coming back to Xero now! This could be just the opening he needs to take King down the proverbial notch!" Cyclone says in a blatantly partisan way.

 

"Please!" Riley retorts. "LIke Xero could beat a former SWF World Champion! He probably couldn't even park his car!"

 

Xero is starting to feel it now as he steps in to the wounded Gambling Man and fires off a knife edge chop with his good arm to the pecs! Another, and another, too fast for the crowd to chant along with! One more and-

 

"He went to the well once too often!" Riley notes with glee.

 

As King catches the hand in front of him! Xero looks shocked for a moment before King stomps HARD heel first right on his toes! Xero backs away in pain with King still holding his good arm! King stomps again, this time on Xero's other foot! Xero's stance becomes unsteady and King flicks him hard right in the nose! Xero's eyes water over, and unfortunately he doesn't get to see what happens next... the Gambling Man cements his grip on Xero's good arm, diving between Xero's legs with a baseball slide and popping to his feet behind Xero with his arm in a familiar position...

 

KA-PWING!!!!

 

And just NAILING Xero in the groin with his own arm!

 

"AGAIN?" Comet asks the world in general. "You know what to do referee!"

 

"What? That was just an unfortunate consequence of the pumphandle position!" Riley covers like an even coat of paint. "You want to disallow one of the core set-up sequences of wrestling?"

 

The Suicide King swiftly pulls the arm all the way through and hooking the other, lifting Xero up and dropping him down hard on his outstretched knee!

 

"Pumphandle backbreaker by King, and I think that has the ref sold that all genital contact was incidental!" Riley says. "A masterful stroke of misdirection!"

 

Xero rolls of King's outstretched knee weakly. Shaking his arm King tries to restore some feeling to his injured pride and pectorals... Quickly lifting the stunned Xero to his feet King backs him into the ropes and whips him across the ring. Following Xero for a step or two King widens his stance and cocks his right arm back...

 

"Uh oh."

 

Bounce back, and King's arms fires out like a howitzer, catching Xero in the chest with a sternum-shattering shotei! Xero crashes to the mat like the Gambling Man just hit him with a battering ram!

 

"Heartbreaker shotei!" Riley pops. "Devastating shot from our boss and Xero is now officially among the walking wounded!"

 

"Point of order," Cyclone Comet counters. "Xero isn't walking."

 

"The wailing wounded then. He's taken too much punishment, too fast. He was in pretty good shape for one of us retirees, but King is a golden god!"

 

Xero is out of it. King knows it, and the capacity crowd in Cleveland knows it. Strutting over to the fallen Xero, King drags his limp form upright before wrapping his injured arm up into a half nelson and stepping beside him...

 

"You know what this means Comet! The originator of the move every heel has utilized to put their foes down for three is gonna show the kids how it's done!"

 

"It's no Demonstar. It's no Rage Unleashed." Comet counters.

 

"Yes, well if we kill our opponents we can't gloat now can we?"

 

King rears back, snapping Xero forward and sweeping him facefirst into the mat with a sickening crunch! Something that may or may not be a tooth rolls out from under Xero's face as King flips him over into a lazy cover...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!!

 

 

DING DING DING!

 

"King is back, and he's badder than ever!" Riley lauds sickeningly. "He's taken care of one retiree, and come Genesis he'll show one more what for!"

 

"Stevens is no pushover even if his best days are behind him Robert. And Landon Maddix the face of the SWF's future! King may very well find that meddling in that young man's career will cost him in the end!"

 

King waves off Funyon before he even begins his spiel, and with slow and deliberate kicks he shoves Xero right under the bottom rope and to the floor below accompanied by all appropriate heat. Xero, his face now bloodied, is escorted to the back by SWF personnel, but not before getting one last appreciative round of applause from the diehard Cleveland fans.

 

Comet groans. "Oh no... the Suicide King wants the microphone again..."

 

The Suicide King gestures for silence, which has its usual effect. "Fine, fine, you porch monkeys. I'll yell over you. Tom! Get out here! I've got a surprise for you, and I think you're going to like it!"

 

A few moments of silence pass before the all-too-familiar opening strains of "Kashmir" sound out over the speakers. With this truly epic noise blasting through the sound system the man himself, the Superior One, strides out onto the stage accompanied by the derision of the fans. Not that it bothers him. Not that is has EVER bothered him. Tom Flesher strides to the ring as confident in his superiority as ever. The Suicide King sits on the ropes so as to allow easier entry to his favorite wrestler (besides himself) and as he enters the ring, the King is there to greet him with a firm handshake!

 

Comet snorts. "I take it that Tom wasn't watching the match then, or he might have been more hesitant to take that handshake!"

 

"Hush you!"

 

The two men stand at arm's length, each clearly aware of the profound admiration has for the other. Well, that's a bit much.

 

"The only reason these two can even stand in the same ring is that each thinks the other is as close to wrestling perfection as it gets, barring themselves!" Comet notes. "Just once, I would like to see THEM fight over who is better."

 

"Umm... isn't that a bit like Superman fighting Jesus?" Riley swallows nervously. "I mean, what would be left to believe in?"

 

King raises the microphone to his lips, grinning like a shark. "You're gonna love this Tom. I mean it." Flesher gestures for the King to go on as the crowd begins to focus their hatred on the ring... "You remember who I said that since I had you as my partner, I could begin to make all appropriate arrangements for our match?" Flesher nods, smiling as he anticipates the latest twist.

 

"Well, as we all know I was counting on Stevens trying something stupid to get me in the ring at Genesis. He showed uncommon foresight making it a tag match with that no-talent hack Maddix, but I have completely trumped him on that front by getting-" King turns to the crowd. "-as we all know-" and back to Tom. "A truly Superior partner. And so we are here, at the eve before Genesis standing on the threshold of this epic match! Tom Flesher and the Suicide King versus Landon Maddix and Grand Slam! It'll be huge! Gigantic! The biggest tag match Genesis had ever seen! A fair fight to finally determine the best route to power in the wrestling business!" In spite of themselves the crowd is sucked into King's naked hype, cheering the prospect of a future Team Face victory over Team Heel!

 

Flesher taps his nose with one long finger, showing that he has caught the crux of the matter from King's own words. "That's right Tom. A fair fight... and that was, of course, the problem."

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

 

"Oh, do shut up. The 'good guys' want a fair fight! Now by definition no one getting into the ring with us is going to get a fair fight!" King grins at Flesher. "Unless maybe we each cut off an arm." King snickers to himself.

 

"No, there's going to be no fair fight. Besides, as any wrestling mind can tell you, nobody actually wants to see a fair fight anyway! No, you Cro-Magnons want to see the good guys surmount impossible odds! Do the impossible! Beat the unbeatable!"

 

"And it is precisely because I respect you, the fans, SO MUCH... that I am going to make this as unfair as possible. You know what would help Tom?" Flesher shakes his head, indicating that while he is enjoying the drive he has no idea where King is going.

 

"I think we're gonna need another partner!"

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

 

"Say WHAT?" cries Comet, over the rising displeasure of the crowd. "The Suicide King is granting himself a second partner? This is absurd!"

 

"If by absurd you mean the single greatest decision any human being has ever made in the entirety of existence, then I agree, Comet!"

 

"You know quite well what I meant, Riley," Comet responds, with some bite.

 

"Oh..." Riley looks a little befuddled, before adding "Well... then, uh... you're wrong."

 

Even Tom Flesher looks a little surprised by the announcement, but very much in a good way. He grins a broad grin, and King turns to him for a nod of approval. The two of them are just eating up the crowd's reaction, which only causes the fans to boo even louder. "How can you be so ungrateful?" King mockingly asks them, prompting another round of jeers. "Here we are heading into the biggest show of the year, and I'm doing my best to add a little oomph, a little spice, a little something extra to make sure it goes down in the history books as one of the best... and this is the thanks I get?"

 

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

 

"Can you believe these ingrates, Comet?" Riley asks in disgust.

 

The Suicide King holds up his, attempting to silence the unwashed masses. It doesn't work, but whatever. "In the interest of fairness, however, I have allowed Mr. Stevens the same luxury. IF he can find anyone foolish enough to rally to his cause in the next five days, we'll have ourselves a good old fashioned six-man! Let me make it clear that anyone who did such a thing would make me very unhappy, with potentially permanent consequences for his career." The King can't help but laugh at this point, and he adds "Yeah. Good luck with that, Mark."

 

"See Comet?" Riley makes no effort to hide his glee. "Perfectly fair! If Mark can find a partner, the sides are even!"

 

"As sick as this makes me, I have to say the King has a point - with so little time, I don't think Mark Stevens can find anyone willing to stand in the face of such overwhelming odds! And we don't even know who King's second man is yet!"

 

The crowd shows no signs of letting up, so the King shrugs, and continues. "Well, no matter. I'm used to my particular brand of genius being misunderstood - there are so very few people in this world capable of appreciating it... people like Mr. Flesher here." He nods in Tom's direction... pauses for a moment...

 

"And like our partner."

 

Riley begins fidgeting in his seat. "Here it comes, Comet!"

 

"He's a man some of you might remember, actually," King teases. "He made a bit of a splash in the SWF not too too long ago... unfortunately, circumstances not entirely clear to him ended his run prematurely."

 

"A veteran of the SWF? What trick does King have up his sleeves this time?" Comet cautiously ponders, as he slides a cup across the desk to catch Riley's drool.

 

"We've had our differences, he and I... we didn't always see eye to eye," - Tom perks up at this, but the King is quick to add "but he has since seen the error of his ways. And considering the nature of this match, I think you'll agree, Tom, that there's no one we'd rather have on our side."

 

"The nature of this match?" Comet wonders out loud. "It's a-"

 

...

 

"Oh no."

 

It seems like a few people in the crowd caught on as quickly as Comet, as they're already facing the entrance and booing!

 

"Who? Who is it Comet? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?" Riley begins poking his partner in the arm. "Huh? Huh? Huh-"

 

*SMACK*

 

"Owie!"

 

Flesher too begins to understand. He looks toward King incredulously, and the Gambling Man simply smiles and nods. They share a good villainous chuckle, and then the King sweeps his free arm towards the ramp and announces "So put your hands together and give a warm SWF welcome..."

 

"...to CHRIS-"

 

Booooooooo!

 

"RAYNOR!"

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

The entire Gund Arena shakes as "The Grudge" pounds out of the sound system at deafening volume, so loud that even Riley's schoolgirlish squeals are entirely drowned out. Everyone is focused on the stage, hoping, wishing, praying that this is all some kind of sick joke...

 

... but as the curtain is swished aside, their hearts drop.

 

Chris Raynor has returned.

 

He slowly strolls out to the center of the ramp, then stops, looking out over the SWF crowd for the first time in almost two years. It's all coming back - the jeers, the boos, the unadulterated hatred of millions.

 

His face says it all. Ahhh... it's good to be back.

 

He cracks a grin, and heads down the ramp, where the ropes are being held open for him.

 

"Comet... Comet! Why is your headset off?"

 

"I took it off a moment ago, Citizen Riley, because I felt the uncontrollable urge to say things that these citizens should never hear a superhero say!"

 

"Comet! For shame!"

 

"Well this situation certainly calls for it! First the Suicide King changes the rules of the match at the last second, leaving Mark Stevens with no time to find a partner, and then he brings back Chris Raynor! Is there no depth to which he won't stoop?"

 

"Uh... no. We've pretty much established that there isn't."

 

Raynor rolls into the ring before popping to his feet. Tom Flesher claps him on the back as Raynor responds with a wary smile... before heading over to the Suicide King and standing in front of the evil mastermind. Long moments pass punctuated by flash bulbs.

 

"Two former Carnies and Tom Flesher, united in a mutual hatred of an outmoded relic and a glorified curtain jerker!" Riley sniffs. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry!"

 

Raynor stands there with a mixed expression on his face, seemingly having some sort of internal debate... before finally reaching out a right hand that is quickly taken by the Suicide King! The boos return in earnest as the two men share some private words. At a nod from Raynor, the King hands over the microphone. Chris Raynor stands there, tall, proud, and trying to find the words that have etched themselves into his psyche.

 

"Why. That's what many of you are probably asking. Why."

 

Comet interjects, "Yes, that's what we're asking! What did Grand Slam ever show you but kindness?! What has Landon ever done to you, good or bad!?" The crowd's instant rejection of whatever Raynor has to say seems to provide him with some amusement, bitter though it may be.

 

"You wouldn't understand. You've never been so close to the main event you can taste it, only to have a man you thought was your friend take it from you! Take everything you ever believed in away! You wouldn't understand."

 

King and Flesher nod like support group members.

 

"Well, I found someone who understood. Someone who once bought the lies of a fraud who presented himself as a good man. Someone who went through the wilderness I knew so well and came out the other side. He might have come out as a conniving little weasel-" Raynor glares at King, who gulps with a touch of nervousness. "-But he knows nonetheless. And he came to me with the offer of everything I ever wanted. A main event marquee match, at Genesis. My chance. MINE. To show the world that this is where I belong, that it never should have been kept from me in the first place! And if I have to trod over Mark's legacy to cement mine... then fine. So be it." Raynor moves stiffly over to the King and slams the microphone into his chest.

 

"Is it me, or are his words ringing a little... false?" Comet comments. "There's something else at the root here."

 

"Oh who cares?" Riley chortles. "Team Heel is assembled, and you want to read the fine print! Don't read the fine print! You'll ruin the evil surprise!"

 

The Suicide King recovers his composure, taking Chris's and Tom's hands in his own and raising them high into the air! Turning in place to present themselves to the crowd (and perhaps making sure that they get even heat on all sides) the threesome stands tall and confident in their supremacy.

 

Tom Flesher.

 

The Suicide King.

 

Chris Raynor.

 

"Grand Slam has a very serious problem on his hands! There's not enough time to find a partner, even if he could find one who would risk the wrath of the Suicide King!'" Comet notes. "And it looks like poor Landon will be going down with him. In any event we have to cut to commercial citizens! Stay tuned for the latest developments on this, the last Smarkdown before Genesis!"

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The venerable Gund Arena reappears on television screens worldwide, the host, once again, of a night of spectacular SWF action. The fans are on their feet, waving signs and cheering. One sign that the camera alights on reads "Suicide Queen!" Another, "Grand Slam + Barracuda = Ratings!" Finally, the hyperactive camera settles on Cyclone Comet and his partner, the estimable Bobby Riley!

 

Comet: Welcome back citizens! I don't think I'm lying or exaggerating when I say that tonight's main event is one for the ages!

 

Riley: You know Comet; for once (God help me) I have to agree with you. I think it's an understatement to say I don't like either of these men, but there is no denying their accomplishments. Both men are huge fan favorites. Both are multiple time Tag Team Champions. Both are former Intercontinental-Television Champions.

 

Comet: That's right Robert, but while Mark Stevens is a former two-time World Champion, Johnny Dangerous is the reigning Champion.

 

Riley: It has been a long time since we have had a match up like this, but it is only fitting that this, a match of old school against new school... legend versus champion... happens tonight.

 

Comet: That's right old chum. This is the last match before our biggest event of the year, Genesis V... this Sunday only on Pay-Per-View!

 

The lights go out...

 

Several seconds of hushed silence cause the crowd to become restless... they are clapping, talking, shouting, waving signs, waiting for whatever is about to happen...

 

 

 

::Crack!!!::

 

 

 

The crowd, simply put, explodes!

 

The crack of a bat and the roar of the crowd announce "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens!! It quickly fades into the opening bass of "Born Bad" by the Gone Jackals, his classic anthem. The SmarkTron lights up with baseball highlights mixed with big spots from Grand Slam's matches while flashing the words "Grand Slam", "Mark Stevens" and "The Heavy Hitter". The various multicolored lights flash in time with the rhythmic bass until the guitars crash and the lead singer cries out "Born Bad!” then the arena is flooded with bright white light!! Red and white pyro explodes at the top of the entrance ramp!! When the smoke clears and everyone can see again, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens is standing underneath the SmarkTron!!! The crowd erupts in even more cheers for the Heavy Hitter!!!

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your MAIN EVENT and it is a non-title match scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred ninety eight pounds... he hails from Lincoln, Nebraska and is known as the "Heavy Hitter"... "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS!!!

 

As Funyon makes his announcement, the Heavy Hitter walks down the ramp slowly, savoring every moment of cheers and pointing at various fans, slapping hands and keeping them screaming! Tonight, as the camera zooms in, he is wearing another Cleveland Indians baseball cap!! When the crowd sees this, they cheer even louder, nearly drowning out his music!! Grand Slam steps into the ring between the ropes and heads to a corner. He then climbs to the second turnbuckle, looks at the crowd, then pumps his right fist into the air several times, firing the crowd up even more and causing a flurry of flashbulbs to pop, illuminating the ring like a strobe-light!! Before dropping back to the mat, Grand Slam flings his cap out to the crowd, giving some lucky fan a unique souvenir from the SWF!!! Once the cap is sent out and the music dies, he pulls off his varsity jacket and hands it off to a waiting tech outside the ring. He then backs into the corner of the ring and starts to stretch, working out the kinks and getting ready for the match.

 

Riley: I'll give the old man credit; he has gutted this first month out and is getting something like the match he wants at Genesis. But I knew the Suicide King was too smart for him, and he proved it tonight!

 

Comet: King should be careful Robert. We know that Grand Slam is a great wrestler, and he will be looking for any opportunity to get his hands on the Suicide King at Genesis! And I have to say, Stevens looks better than he has in months!

 

..... "Johnny Dangerous!" .......

 

Suddenly, the lights dim, and a sultry female voice breathes the name of the SWF’s resident super-spy. "After The Flesh" by My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult begins to thump through the crowds. Smoke fills the stage as tons of strobes cut through it and Johnny Dangerous walks out onto center stage.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and seventeen pounds and hailing from Sin City... Las Vegas, Nevada... he is YOUR Smartmarks Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion... the Barracuda... JOHNNY DANGEROUS!!

 

As he heads down the ramp, World Title belt shining, Johnny reaches out and high-fives several fans. As he turns the corner to head to the ring steps, he spies a very attractive young woman at ringside. With a sly smile, he sidles up next to her and leans in, receiving a kiss on the cheek from the young lass. A huge smile on his face now, Johnny heads into the ring, mounts a turnbuckle and raises his arms out to the fans. They go nuts. Everyone is cheering and clapping.

 

Comet: Well there is no denying that Johnny Dangerous has become one of the most popular men in the SWF!

 

Riley: I can't understand what anyone sees in this guy, but I have to admit that he has put on some spectacular matches since winning the Belt!

 

Dangerous drops off the turnbuckles and hands off the belt to Funyon, who takes it with him out of the ring. Dangerous and Stevens approach the referee in the center of the ring. The zebra explains the rules to them both and, in a great act of pure sportsmanship; they shake hands and share a few words. With a smile, Grand Slam claps Johnny on the shoulder and points at him, saying something the home audience was not meant to hear. Johnny laughs and nods his head. The both men back off and start to circle the ring, waiting for a chance...

 

**Ding ding ding**

 

Comet: This match is underway!

 

Riley: Theoretically anyways. What was with all of that buddy-buddy horse hooey a few seconds ago?

 

Comet: That was two competitors who respect each other. It's refreshing to see in this day and age of rule-breakers, underhanded tactics and outright villainy!

 

Riley: ...right... you're off your medication again aren't you?

 

In the ring, the two gladiators come together in the center of the ring, momentarily in a collar-elbow lockup, but Johnny wants no part of that and escapes quickly, spinning around behind Grand Slam and grabbing him in a waistlock! But the Heavy Hitter is no rookie by any means, and in a move so practiced it is automatic, he steps out of the waistlock and into one of his own, then pulls Johnny up off his feet and onto the mat with a basic wrestling takedown. Quickly, he slides forward, pulling the World Champion into a side headlock. Using his huge arms, the Heavy Hitter pulls back on the Barracuda's neck, trying to wear him down fast so the disparity in their endurance won't come into play. But neither is Dangerous a rookie and he quickly uses both arms to slip out of Grand Slam's grasp. Recognizing what is happening, Grand Slam shoulder rolls to one side and to his feet as Johnny kips up behind him. They turn to face each other and hold, both of them catching their breath as the crowd lets loose with a huge pop!

 

Comet: Both of these men are accomplished technical wrestlers and the SWF crowd appreciates that!

 

Without too much of a pause, the two combatants go towards each other again. Grand Slam puts his arms up for another lockup, but, again, the Barracuda ducks underneath, but this time he grabs an arm and pulls, spinning himself around and whipping Grand Slam into the ropes! Bounce back, and Johnny throws out a fast Johnny Kick with his right foot, but Grand Slam has it scouted! He throws on the brakes and manages to catch Johnny's foot! The Secret Agent doesn't hesitate, throwing his body around, trying to land an enzugiri! But Grand Slam ducks under, Johnny lands on his left foot and throws it up in a mule kick, catching Grand Slam right in the chest! The Heavy Hitter drops Johnny's right foot and staggers back into the ropes. Johnny lands on his chest and rolls to his side at the same time that Grand Slam uses the ropes for a little momentum and charges across the ring, trying to catch Johnny unawares. But the World Champion rolls a little out of the way, catches Grand Slam's right foot with his feet and executes a textbook drop-toe hold! Stevens falls chest first into the ropes and falls back... right into a fast rollup by Johnny!

 

Comet: Holy... first pinfall attempt of the match!

 

The ref drops to the mat...

 

One... Two... Thr... No!

 

Grand Slam reaches up and grabs Johnny head, pulling him over into a pin attempt of his own!

 

One... Two... No!

 

Johnny kicks hard and pushes Grand Slam backwards onto his shoulders again!

 

One... Two... Thr... No!

 

Grand Slam kicks out hard! Johnny rolls away and pops back to his feet quickly, ready for anything Grand Slam can throw at him, but the big man slower, using the middle rope to pull himself off the mat and to his feet. The crowd is on the edge of their seats and when they see the momentary pause in the match they go nuts! Half of the crowd starts to chant "Johnny... Johnny", the other half takes up a "Grand Slam" chant.

 

Comet: What a sequence of moves and reversals by these two great champions! Citizen Dangerous and Citizen Stevens are absolutely putting on a clinic here tonight!

 

Riley: There's no denying their skills Comet. Neither of these guys was a fluke champion, and I can assure you that both of them are proud men that want to win this match to prove something to themselves.

 

In the ring, Johnny is eager to lock up again, but the slower, bulkier Stevens is more wary, having felt the effects of Johnny's superior speed only moments ago. He stalks the ring, left hand extended to catch anything Johnny throws at him, the right at his side, flexing and twitching. Again, in the center of the ring, the two adversaries come together. Johnny tries for a fast arm wrench, but Grand Slam grabs Johnny's arm instead, pulling it hard and sending the World Champion hard into the ropes. Bounce back, Grand Slam grabs Johnny slings him to the side and plants him on the mat with a huge sidewalk slam!

 

Riley: Wow! What power in that move!

 

Comet: Indeed Robert, Grand Slam strikes with the first impact move of the match and seems to have things under control for the moment.

 

Grand Slam pulls Johnny to his feet by a handful of hair and into a front facelock. Before Johnny can squirm out of the hold, Grand Slam grabs a handful of black pants and throws Johnny up and over, powering him through a snap suplex and into the mat! The crowd is cheering him on as some of the old Grand Slam seems to appear in the ring. He rolls to his feet and runs into the ropes, bounce back, jump and crashes down with a huge leg drop right across Johnny Dangerous' chest! The World Champion rolls to his stomach as Grand Slam moves his leg and stands.

 

Riley: Look at the instincts of the Barracuda Comet! He rolls to a position that makes Grand Slam work harder if he wants to pin him!

 

Grand Slam has no intention of pinning the Super Spy just yet, as he knows all about Johnny vaunted resiliency. With a deep breath, the Heavy Hitter pulls Johnny to his feet... but before he can do anything, Dangerous lashes out with a hard kick to the midsection! Grand Slam takes a step back, but Johnny doesn't let him catch his breath. He moves in with hard chops (each accompanied by the now-traditional Wooo!) and fast kicks, keeping the Heavy Hitter off balance! Finally, another toe kick doubles Stevens over and Johnny pulls him into a front facelock, but Grand Slam isn't out of it yet! He throws his arms around Johnny and lifts, popping his hips and throwing the Dangerous One up and over, slamming him to the mat with a prize-winning Northern Lights Suplex! He bridges...

 

One... Two... Th... NO!! Johnny kicks out! The crowd is going ballistic and everyone is on their feet, totally drawn into this clash of titans! Grand Slam is starting to breathe very hard his face and chest really starting to redden as he tries to pull more and more oxygen into his body. Johnny is crumpled on the mat, a little dazed, his eyes not quite focused.

 

Comet: Citizen Stevens is pulling out all of the stops in this match, looking more and more like his old self!

 

Riley: But his Achilles' Heel is still his endurance, or rather his lack thereof. He is pushing himself hard in the early stages of this match, hoping he can pull out the win before his wind gives out.

 

After taking another deep breath, Grand Slam pulls Johnny to his feet and immediately picks him up, adjusts his stance in the ring, then drives him down to the mat with a classic scoop slam! And, now that Johnny is positioned just so, Grand Slam stomps over to the corner and climbs... to the first rope... the middle rope... the top rope! The crowd can sense what is going to happen, and the cheers intensify! For a moment, the Hall-of-Famer stands there on the top turnbuckle looking out at the crowd as seemingly everyone in the Gund Arena takes the chance to get a picture. Then as the flashes continue to illuminate the ring, Stevens jumps back and out, flipping over once and slamming down hard onto Dangerous with his trademark moonsault!

 

Comet: It's over now Robert!

 

Riley: You know what they say about counting chickens Comet!

 

Grand Slam reaches across Johnny's body and hooks the leg... The ref falls to the mat...

 

One... Two... Thr... NO!!!

 

Comet: Dangerous kicked out!! Johnny Dangerous kicked out!

 

Riley: Of course he did! You didn't expect the World Champion to go down without a fight did you?

 

Grand Slam rolls off, looking at the rafters as if to ask, "What do I have to do?" As Johnny begins to stir, Grand Slam seems to have hit upon an answer! He gets to his feet and raises his right arm, circling it over his head, signaling for his finisher! The crowd is cheering and the cacophony of flash bulbs starts up again as the Heavy Hitter, breathing hard, pulls Johnny off the mat and into a standing head-scissors! He hooks the arms... but Johnny isn't going quietly into that goodnight! He fights one arm free, then the other! Then, faster than Grand Slam can react, Johnny steps back, freeing him of the head scissors! He throws himself backwards into the ropes, bounce back, he jumps in the air, twisting enough so that he connects with a huge spinning heel kick right to the face! Grand Slam falls back hard, Johnny right next to him! Grand Slam can feel a pin coming so he rolls over onto his stomach, keeping his shoulders off the mat! But that is exactly what Johnny wanted to see! Without missing a beat, the Spymaster wraps both of his arms around Grand Slam's head and pulls!

 

Riley: Riley has locked in the Interrogator! Comet, I'm not sure Grand Slam has taken enough punishment for that submission to be effective!

 

Comet: I don't think that's what Citizen Dangerous has in mind Robert! If I were him, I'd be looking for a chance to recover from Grand Slam's furious offense for a few seconds while keeping Grand Slam under control!

 

Back in the ring, Johnny seems to be gaining energy moment by moment as the ref asks Grand Slam over and over if he wants to give up. But the Heavy Hitter's will is indomitable and he refuses, slowly trying to inch his way towards the ropes. Johnny keeps the pressure on, but appears to be making no attempt to keep Stevens from breaking the hold on the ropes. Finally, after what seems minutes, Grand Slam manages to get his arm over the bottom rope. The ref starts to count, but Johnny releases near instantly. Quickly, the Barracuda gets to his feet, waiting for Grand Slam. The Heavy Hitter starts to pull himself up by the ropes, stretching his neck trying to work the pain out. He turns... right into a huge Shotei right over Stevens' heart!

 

Riley: That had to hurt Stevens! In addition to the sheer pain of a shot over the heart, it had to knock the wind right out of him!

 

Comet: It appears as if Johnny has a plan of attack, and he is sticking to it!

 

Grand Slam spins around, both hands over his chest. Johnny steps up behind him, laces his arms under Grand Slam's, locks them, lifts... and drives the big man down hard into the mat!

 

Comet: What a move! The Barracuda delivers the Dangerous Driver late in this match, and that might be all she wrote!

 

Riley: If so, there is no shame ::snicker:: in going down to the ::snicker snicker:: Dangerous Driver...

 

Johnny flips Grand Slam over... hooks the leg...

 

One... Two... Thr... NO! Grand Slam gets a shoulder up! Johnny appears somewhat unsurprised as he gets to his feet, pulling the Heavy Hitter up with him and into a front facelock. Johnny grabs a handful of tights, drapes Steven's arm across his neck, takes a deep breath and pulls Grand Slam off his feet and through a vertical suplex! The Heavy Hitter crashes to the mat, all of the breath appearing to fly out of him at once! But Johnny has no respite planned for Stevens as he throws his feet around to roll Grand Slam over, then pulls him up and nails a second suplex, then repeats the sequence again, driving the Slammer to the canvas with one more vertical suplex!

 

Comet: That was a statement by Johnny Dangerous! He's serving notice that no matter who you are, no matter how big you are; he knows just how to take you apart!

 

Riley: He did more than that Comet; he just took away any chance of Grand Slam getting his wind back anytime soon!

 

Johnny gets to his feet to the cheers of the SWF faithful chanting his name! Grand Slam pulls himself up to his feet and moves towards Johnny slowly. The Barracuda doesn't back down as Grand Slam swings a wild right hand after him, instead ducking under it and bringing a forearm up hard into Grand Slam's chin! The Heavy Hitter staggers back a bit, but finds some energy somewhere and throws a fast knife-edge into Johnny's chest! (Woo!) Johnny responds in kind, delivering a blistering chop to Grand Slam's chest! (Woo!) Grand Slam digs down deep and responds with a chop stronger than the first! (Woo!) Johnny appears momentarily stunned, but the exhausted Grand Slam can't follow up! Instead of trying to regain control with an impact move, the Heavy Hitter has to settle for grabbing Johnny's arm and whipping him into the ropes! But Johnny reverses, sending Grand Slam hurtling across the ring! Bounce back and this time Johnny plants the Johnny Kick right into Grand Slam's chin! The Heavy Hitter hits the mat like a sack of drunken slugs! Johnny throws himself backwards into the ropes, bounces back, flips in the air, and comes down fist first onto Mark Stevens' chest!

 

Comet: We've seen that combo before, a Johnny Kick followed immediately by the Armed and Dangerous! Grand Slam has big troubles Robert!

 

Riley: Stevens caught Dangerous off guard with the flurry of offense early, but ever since the Barracuda reversed the Walk-Off, it has been all Johnny, all the time!

 

With the crowd firmly behind him, Johnny gets to his feet and pulls the nearly unconscious Grand Slam up with him. The crowd lets loose a huge cheer as the Barracuda pulls Grand Slam arm over his neck, hooks the big man's near leg with his right arm, lifts and falls back in the same move... WHAM!!

 

Comet: MI Slam!! MI Slam!! This has to b it now!

 

Riley: I've seen men kick out of this move before, but not after the beating that Stevens has taken!

 

Johnny maintains the hold on the leg, using his other arm to pull it towards him...

 

The ref drops to the mat...

 

One... Two... Three!!! Grand Slam pushes his shoulder off the mat, but a second too late! Johnny raises both arms over his head in exultation as the ref signals for the bell!

 

** Ding ding ding**

 

Funyon: The winner of this match by pinfall... the SWF World Heavyweight Champion, JOHNNY "THE BARRACUDA" DANGEROUS!!

 

Comet: The Champ pulled it out! But what a match Robert!

 

Riley: When you're right, you're right! This match showed us several things Comet. On one hand, it proved that Johnny Dangerous is for real! This was no green kid he pinned out there, that is a bona-fide Hall-of-Famer! On the other hand, as much as I hate to admit it, it showed that Grand Slam is on the way back!

 

Comet: I have to agree Robert! Both of these men gave this match everything they had!

 

In the ring, Grand Slam is on his feet and staring at Johnny who has just been handed his World Title belt. For a moment, Stevens stares at the big gold belt, memories of past glories swimming in his eyes. Then, just as Johnny is starting to grow suspicious of the Heavy Hitter's interest in the belt, the Hall of Famer reaches over and raises Johnny's hand high in the air, signaling his victory! The crowd absolutely funky-monkey-on-crack insane as the two fan favorites shake hands in the ring!

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The fans are still cheering the efforts of both men in the ring. Wearily, Johnny Dangerous and ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens grin at each other, then clasp hands in an expression of sportsmanship before facing out at the crowd. Each section rises in response, elated at the brilliant match they have just witnessed between two of their favourite wrestlers. Everyone can go home happy...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but then every light in the arena suddenly hits full, and the Smarktron whites out.

 

‘WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!’

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Oh no,” Cyclone Comet murmurs as the crashing guitars of ‘Battle Ready’ by Otep kick up over the arena PA, “I thought we’d got through the entire show without him turning up...”

 

*BOOOM!*

 

Lightning spears down and strikes the soundstage, sending up blasts of red and gold pyro, and through the smoke come the familiar shapes of Revolution Zero; Spike Jenkins swaggering along on one side, Sean Davis carrying his Hardcore Gamer’s Championship belt on the other, and in the centre the man Johnny Dangerous will face in six days time for the World Heavyweight Title... the Straight-Edge Sensation, Toxxic.

 

“A show without Toxxic is like Pepsi Max without lemon,” Bobby Riley says sagely as the Number One Contender strides down the entrance ramp, “refreshing and likely to make you burp, but without that sharp edge!”

 

“Err... what?”

 

Johnny and Grand Slam’s faces clearly show their feelings about this latest development. Three-on-two isn’t great odds at the best of times but right now they are exhausted, the advancing Revolutionaries are fresh and the man calling the shots has no reason to be merciful to either of them...

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

The straight-edger flashes a mocking lopsided grin at the fans before he rolls under the ropes and calls for a microphone. Sean Davis forcibly relieves Funyon of his and throws it to his leader before he and Spike also enter the ring. Meanwhile Johnny and Mark are edging closer together, not wanting to let any of Revolution Zero get behind them.

 

“You know Mark, it’s very tempting to just beat the crap out of you right now,” Toxxic says conversationally to the former Commissioner. Stevens bristles at the rookie’s tone and almost steps forward to face him, but Toxxic raises one black-nailed hand to halt him.

 

“Easy, big man. I gave you a pasting on Storm when you had a chair and I didn’t, we were both exhausted and you tried to jump me from behind. I don’t fancy your chances when I’m fresh, I can see you coming and I’ve got the numbers advantage.” Stevens stops advancing and merely treats Toxxic to some choice verbiage, which the straight-edger raises a sardonic eyebrow at.

 

“And they call you a role-model for the kids,” he notes. “Don’t worry Mark, I’ve beaten you and left you lying, so I’m not too bothered about you right now. Besides, I wouldn’t want to ruin your chances of severely hurting Tom Flesher at Genesis,” Toxxic continues, grinning again.

 

“Grand Slam does indeed have something of a grudge match coming up at the biggest show of all time, and I can safely say that it is only the prospect of that which is stopping him from stepping up to the plate and teaching young Toxxic a lesson in manners!” Cyclone Comet declares as Stevens fumes at the offhand manner in which Toxxic has dismissed him.

 

“In your dreams, Spandex boy,” Riley responds. “It’s more the prospect of getting severely hurt!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“Which leads me onto Johnny Dangerous,” Toxxic continues, turning to face the Barrauda, “the man walking around the federation with my World Title.”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Johnny stares straight into Toxxic’s eyes, then looks sideways at Spike Jenkins and Sean Davis. The secret agent seems to weigh up his chances for a moment... then steps forward and grabs Toxxic microphone hand, pulling it forward so that his own voice can be heard.

 

“Whatever you’re going to do - bring it on!” Johnny tells the straight-edger. “I’m not scared of you and your goons, Toxxic! And remember this; whatever you do to me now, I am going to double on your ass come Genesis!” The World Champion spreads his arms wide and steps back, inviting Revolution Zero to do their worst.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

In the ring, Toxxic’s malicious grin simply widens a little more. Johnny is still waiting for the attack, and Grand Slam looks ready to jump in and aid him... but Toxxic simply raises one finger to scratch the side of his nose, then starts to speak again.

 

“Johnny, Johnny... very dramatic,” he says approvingly. “A complete lack of fear, coupled with a complete lack of commonsense. I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.” The Straight-Edge Sensation raises one hand and motions to Spike and Sean, who start to back away.

 

“Sorry to disappoint you Johnny, but there won’t be any beatings tonight,” Toxxic continues. “The three of us could quite easily leave you two in whatever state we chose - but it’s not going to happen.” The grin drops from Toxxic’s face, and he stares across the ring into Johnny Dangerous’ eyes. “I came out here for one reason, and that was to make a point. I want you to remember this moment, Johnny. How it could have gone... and didn’t. There will be no excuses come Sunday, when I beat you in the main event of the biggest show of all time to win my title back. You won’t be able to whine and bitch about how we took you out beforehand.” The Straight-Edge Sensation follows his stablemates out of the ring, still holding the microphone.

 

“Remember this, Johnny. Get ready, because I don’t need any other advantage over you than just being myself. And if you think that I’m underestimating you... if you think that you’re going to be able to put one over on me again... if, above all, you think that I am not ready for you in a way that you will never be for me...”

 

The lopsided grin slides back on Toxxic’s face, just for a moment.

 

“...Prepare To Be Proved Wrong!”

 

Spike Jenkins and Sean Davis are already disappearing up the ramp but Toxxic slowly backs up it while he watches Johnny Dangerous. The World Champion is still standing in the centre of the ring, glaring unblinkingly at the Straight-Edge Sensation... who stares unflinchingly back.

 

“Citizens, tune in on Sunday to witness these two battle it out over the biggest prize in the business!” Comet shills. “Tune in on Sunday for... GENESIS FIVE!!

 

 

FADE OUT

 

Copyright 2004, Smarks Wrestling Federation

‘Making the panda happy since 2001’

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After everyone has left the arena, after the crew is done with the stage and the trainers have treated the last of the walking wounded, one man sits on a steel chair outside the back door of the arena. A rental sedan sits next to him, waiting quietly.

 

Grand Slam finishes dialing a number on his cell phone, then holds it up to his ear.

 

“Yes, operator, I need to dial an international number please… Thank you…. Where? London. London, England. Yes, thanks for your help…”

 

As he waits patiently to be connected, as smile starts to creep across his battered visage.

 

A big smile.

 

FADE

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Phew. Bigger than it looked. I am duly impressed with the sheer amount of promoage that was put into this show, and I hope the same amount of effort can be poured into Genesis V.

 

Schemes and adventury abounds! There's lots of stuff in this show, so I encourage everyone to check it out. My apologies if anything is out of order, as it was REALLY goddamned hard to keep a logical order with a bunch of promos making up the bulk of everything. If I missed anything, again, I'm sorry. Just post it as an swf.net special, because no way I'm going back in to edit this show.

 

GENESIS~! card up whenever it gets up. Understandably, I'm going to take some time to pull this together.

 

-Z

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