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Maztinho

Things that Amuse or Please You

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I was riding down a hill today, and a guy standing at a bus stop asked me for a light... while I was riding. Downhill.

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Guest Smues
When someone is flying down the road weaving in and out of traffic well over the speed limit, and you catch up to him 2 minutes later because he's been pulled over by the cops. I'll have some non-spiteful contributions to this thread later.

 

Saw this happen this weekend on the highway. Two trucks passed me, barely getting by before it became a no passing zone but it was legal enough. But then the 2nd truck continued on and passed the 1st truck illegally, and next thing I know the Chevy Silverado behind me turns on it's police sirens. I'm good at spotting unmarked police vehicles but holy fuck did that one surprise me. So I pulled over and got to watch him go nail the illegal passer. So awesome when you actually get to see them pulled over.

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Guest The Elements of Style

What pleasure is there to be taken in someone getting pulled over by some douchebag cop, unless said driver is drunk and endangering other drivers? Even then, that's more relief than pleasure. I've committed my share of douchebag/dumbass driving maneuvers (90 in a 65) and I'm certain that you have too, and I certainly don't like the idea of other people rooting for the cops to pull me over. People in that sort of a hurry could be driving their wives in labor for all I know; it's not my place to be all "yyyeaaah, get 'em cops!" Nobody but drunks should be encumbered by asshole cops.

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Considering that the most common cause of unnatural death in this country is car crashes and the most common contributing factor to preventable car crashes is speeding, he does have a point. Though cheering "yeah, go get that BARELY ILLEGAL PASSER, you fought the law and the law WON, MOTHERFUCKER" does seem rather odd.

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I've tried. I'm sick of people staring at us, because it makes me feel emasculated, which just leads to me hitting her more. I don't want to kill this one.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

Smues drives like a fag. What kind of an Alaskan are you? Floor that fucker.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

I smeared a raccoon on the way to work last night. Big time. I think I was doing about 90 on a completely flat country road. I looked in my rear view to see it tumble and flop behind me. Haha animal.

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Guest The Elements of Style

I was at my grandmother's house the other weekend, and her neighborhood is kinda tucked into a forest preserve. It was hot out, so the front door was open, and standing there at the screen door were three racooons, looking up at us and trying to come in the house. Then later that night they were walking around on the roof. I guess they really wanted to hang out with my family.

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A coworker let me hold her 4 month old daughter who promptly started screaming until I passed her back.

 

It was funny just to see the expression of WTF are you handing me to this guy for on the daughters face after she calmed down.

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The response I got from this one elderly man after holding the door open for his wife and him at the buffet.

 

"Thank you, sir. You are a gentlemen and a scholar."

 

Just about the most awesome comment somebody has given me.

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"You are a gentlemen and a scholar."

Heh. I've broken that one out on occasion. I have no idea where I first heard it though.

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i love finding out people i know have secret peversions. oh man, finding this dude's secret alias is the only thing that has made me smile in two weeks. maybe there IS a reason to live after all.... whoops, did i just say that? i meant to talk about this guy with a secret peversion. hahahaa amazing.

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No, you probably should kill yourself.

 

I've heard "gentleman and a scholar" a couple times. I think the best compliment I've ever received was the number of times Heath Ledger's Joker was compared to me. Tyler Durden as well.

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"You are a gentlemen and a scholar."

Heh. I've broken that one out on occasion. I have no idea where I first heard it though.

 

In the very first episode of The Office, Michael says that to a woman he's on the phone with, thinking she's a man. That's where I first heard the expression.

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The response I got from this one elderly man after holding the door open for his wife and him at the buffet.

 

"Thank you, sir. You are a gentlemen and a scholar."

 

Just about the most awesome comment somebody has given me.

 

Was he short and did he have red hair?

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this is a thing that amuses me. it's flattering to know that people take the effort to hate on me.

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