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2009 TSM Poster Tournament: The Round of 16

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Guest Czecherbear

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#1 overall Dr. Venkman gets past Dandy 38-11. Incandenza's still got it; he beat EHME 29-20. Cheech got like 15 votes in a row outta f'n nowhere to upset 2-seed Byron the Bulb 28-21, apparently because he's TREMENDOUS~! or something, but good for him, tough win! 2006 winner Slayer beats pirate enthusiast Ortonsault 27-22.

 

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Kinetic advances past "the Boss from La Crosse" Snuffbox 39-10. Canadian Chris upset Matt Young 27-22, but from reading the justifications that praised him, in this coordinator's eyes, Matt Young came away with something much more important: the moral victory. Numerical victory, however, the other guy got it pretty safely. Mellow over Bored in a tight one, 26-23. Edwin over Fazzle 36-13.

 

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Popick Region #1 KOAB rolls on past Smartly Pretty 40-9. Mattdotcom's newfound groundswell of support must've evaporated already because he lost to Smues handily in an upset, 37-12. Kamala edged out pbone 28-21. In an upset, Agent comfortably beat Al 39-10.

 

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Kreese blows out CanadianGuitarist 40-9, bouncing him in the second round once again. Treble over Lushus 36-13. Riding the wave of "NO REPEATS," defending finalist 909 upset defending champion Milky in the 2008 finals rematch, 27-22. VX gets past Curry 37-12.

 

Closer calls and there are more of them in the round of 16. I'm quite surprised by a few outcomes here.

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Venkman

Cheech (Slayer's already won)

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

KOAB

Agent

 

Kreese

909 (Because he banned Deon)

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Dr. Venkman: If you're fortunate enough to spend five minutes with Venkman, your life is better for it.

Slayer: Unquestioned greatest leader of TSM today.

 

CanadianChris: Generous spirit.

Mellow: His remarkable achievements off the board define him more than the ones on the board.

 

KOAB: Just an extraordinary young man.

Agent: All the great things you hear about him from so many people, and none of them do him justice once you meet him.

 

treble: An amazing kid.

Vitamin X: Will have a number of kids named after him.

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Venkman (Perhaps Kinetic's toughest challenger for board supremacy.)

Cheech (Glad to have seen him pull off the big upset)

 

Kinetic (My man...even if he didn't vote for me last round, WTF? Guess the denizens of The Super Secret Board For Jerks have to stick together and vote for each other. Whatever, I still love you K-Tic)

Mellow (Edwin is one of my all-time favorites but this has been a breakout year for Mellow)

 

KOAB (As I said earlier, royalty sticks together. Smues' Cinderella run is well deserved though)

King Kamala (If I manage to defeat a TSM legend like Agent- I have a good shot at making the finals. 'Course I fully expect to be slaughtered by Agent and deservedly so. I'll always be at the top of the second tier of TSM posters or the bottom of the first tier. I've resigned myself to that fate)

 

Sensei John Kreese (Tough decision as treble made the most memorable post of the year but Kreese narrowly edges him out)

Vitamin X (Cornerstone of the food folder. Is a bit brusque on occasion but is wildly informative. King beat me last year so I'm not voting for him as an extension of my affinity for minor grudges)

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Boo urns.

 

For the record, I've decided if I can't make it past the third round again, I will leave TSM indefinitely. So vote early and vote often if you appreciate my efforts in reshaping General Wrestling, affirming Czech's Guster fandom, and being all around swell guy.

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This has gone far enough. I'm throwing down the gauntlet.

 

- If I win this tournament, I'll leave the board forever.

 

- If I don't, I'm posting a picture of my cock I have saved for a special occasion.

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Ha, Matt Young reference.

 

When casting your vote in the first tournament match up, keep the following things in mind:

 

- Previous POTY Black Lushus approves me winning

 

- Current favourite Kinetic approves me winning

 

- Inc is actually responsible for the 2007/2008 Writer's Strike dragging out so long. He also cancelled all of your favourite TV shows. You know the ones.

 

Keep up the well thought out votes, TSM!

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- Inc is actually responsible for the 2007/2008 Writer's Strike dragging out so long. He also cancelled all of your favourite TV shows. You know the ones.

Keep up the well thought out votes, TSM!

"Pushing Daisies", No!

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Me - I'm me.

Slayer - A testament to both men that they could coast on their legacies to make it this far for a year they weren't really here (but when they were here, they were good). I suspect I might regret this, but I really want a rematch from my first POTY tournament where Slayer destroyed me in Round 1.

 

Kinetic - The Canadian Pact no longer applies this late in the game (though it still does for other Canadians who are voting but aren't in the game anymore).

mellow - Keep up the good work.

 

Kay Oh Aye Bee - Wow, I thought Matt.com would fair better than that, but Smues is great people too. We're all great people at this point! I feel as though I have to give the nod to KOAB though. Tough call. Most of them are now.

Kamala - I don't dig the "Loser Leaves the Board" ultimatums and that almost cost him my vote, but I'm still backing the guy.

 

treble - I went back and forth on this one but ultimately ended up here. Why? 30 Rock.

VX - A lot of people are saying this is Kinetic's year, but if it were to be a VX / Kinetic finals, I think there's a good chance Leo could run with it.

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Guest Czecherbear

Incandenza: Venkman's great and all, but I feel like Inc needs a lifetime achievement award here.

Slayer: Both guys have been part-timing it this year, but Slayer got married and Cheech left in a snit. Also he knocked out Byron, my pick to win it all. Onward Slayer.

Kinetic: Chris is just coasting on general niceness here. Remember that exchange between K-Tic and Porter about Tom Brady having a haunted ACL, like "Vernon Ghoulston," and Porter didn't know what the fuck was happening? Some of the funniest stuff of the year. Onward, Kinetic!

Edwin: I think Edwin can take this whole thing, my Yacht Rock brother.

KOAB: I like both guys, but KOAB just has an edge to him, you know? He doesn't play it safe. Everyone may not like kwahb the way everyone lieks Smues, but those who get him love him. Smues just gets worked up about mundane bullshit, like traffic congestion in fuckin' Anchorage. Who gives a shit? Move to Atlanta and talk to us about traffic, ya sally. KOAB handles adversity and it shows.

Agent: Agent is undergoing a deep physiological cleansing right now and he needs my full support as he vomits and trembles his way to purity. Both guys are my music buds, but I like Frank Zappa more than Ben Folds.

Kreese: I think we've drawn out TIE POST as far as it can go. Another great Treble post was the one making fun of Jingus's work week. Look it up. Still, I'm voting for Sensei John Kreese because he made the Barron video!

Vitamin X: well, this is the battle of mods who I'm pretty sure don't like the job I do as admin. But outside mod stuff, I like VX's domination of the food folder over "Anze scored the winner. Soon we will move to 9th place. And then we will make the playoffs. And then we will win."

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It seems to me that we put this at the top o the board because folks like cabbageboy weren't aware of it last year and felt they had a chance of going far. Well, now it's here, and cabbageboy isn't even voting! Come on now.

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DANNY WILLIAMS REGION

Dr. Venkman Was there anybody better this year?

Slayer Even though Cheech and I both have Special K names, we... ah nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about... Fuck it...

 

SCOTT KEITH REGION

Kinetic The Terry Funk to my Tommy Dreamer. Just don't go insane and put yourself through an announcer's table.

mellow It's been emotional.

 

STEPHEN POPICK REGION

KOAB A true renaissance man. Fun in every folder I frequent.

King Kamala Most difficult decision I've had to make this round, but Kamala has been a much needed plus to the top of the board.

 

MIKE McKENZIE REGION

Sensei John Kreese Has brought many lulz to this great nation.

VX Both the irresistible force and the immovable object. Can anyone stop him?

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Incandenza - I must be missing something wrt Venkman. I mean, he seems all right, but best poster of the year? What? Do I have to read the wrestling folders in order to get the full Venkman experience? Help me out.

Cheech - Slayer really seems to not like me and I don't know why, so FUCK HIM. Also, Cheech winning here would make my loss last round look a little bit less bad. It won't make the pain go away, though. Nothing will. Some wounds never heal.

 

Kinetic - Duh.

Edwin - Early returns indicate Edwin could be in trouble here. First godthedog, then me, and now him. TSM's a cruel place if you're an overeducated white male.

 

KOAB - If this thing doesn't come down to KOAB/Kinetic then it's a fucking sham. How did Smues get this far?

Agent - Kamala's solid, workmanlike posting isn't enough to see him through here. Had he been a little less secretive about his personal life "Ask King Kamala" thread I may have voted differently.

 

Kreese - He cool

909 - Bleh

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Guest Czecherbear

Apparently we have a wrestling department here again. I don't know how else to explain all these B+ers notching blowouts, and I run this place (acting boardrunner when CWM is on personal leave). A new era for TSM.

 

I was really looking forward to an Incandenza-Byron regional final. The teacher meets the student.

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Inc- I wish Inc would post more, b/c he's hilarious when he wants to be.

 

 

Slayer- See above.

 

CanadianChris- The hockey thread is the passion that unites us all. (tm Leafs)

 

Mellow- I don't see enough of Edwin's posts, and I like Mellow's contributions in wrestling.

 

Smues- Go Braves!

 

Kamala- Okay, Agent, I do like you, but not that much.

 

Treble- Go Leafs Go!

 

909- See reason for voting for Chris.

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Guest Smues

Cinderella is obviously done dancing, but hey I was the only double digit seed to make it out of the first round, and I made it to round 3! Sadly this ends my streak of making it further each year, but I'll take it. And Czech it isn't the amount of traffic, it's the people in those cars. I have been in Atlanta traffic, it makes me want to throw hard candy at people.

 

Dr. Venkman - dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh Batman Ghostbusters!

Slayer - Slayer? I just met her! God I'm funny! Oh and to keep with the Final Sacrifice theme I'll also ask if I could possibly discipline you? But cold crazy bread really is crazy, so everything is ok.

 

Canadian Chris - Oh Canada, not my home nor native land. I fucking hate the Patriots, in all thy sons that I don't have command.

Mellow - Do they still make Mellow Yellow soda. I liked it as a kid. Plus there's that song about Mellow Yellow, quite possibly (and probably? Let me ask Captain Morgan, he'll know!) that's where the soda's name came from. If it's yellow vote it to the next round, if it's Edwin MacPhisto flush it down? (No offense Edwin, I was just going with the old saying.)

 

Smues - Smues fact #1004 (wasn't that the number of holds Jericho said he had? Or was that Malenko? Or was Malenko 1,000 and Jericho was 1,002 and I just can't count? Either way ARM-BAR!) - Despite the fact that the weather hasn't gotten gotten above 0 degree F since Sunday the 28th of December, Smues went out the other day when it was 19 below to get his mail in shorts and a t-shirt. Smues is a man! (1% of the time)

Agent of Oblivion - Mostly because Kamala just voted against me. And the fact that Agent made EHME tolerable (when he's off gimmick anyway, and Agent is the reason he turns the gimmick off sometimes.) Noodle that one. Plus AoO is usually on my side when I think someone is out of chances and should just get banned. Huzzah short tempered mods!

 

Treble - I would have voted for Bass, but Megaman kicked his ass. GOD I'M FUNNY! Also, back in the day I could tell you where the notes fell on both treble and bass clef. Today? Not Likely. Wait, well, maybe if I took my time and thought for awhile. I know there was that FACE akrynmynmymymym, but I don't remember what the one was for the other clef. FACE for treble, something else for bass? Bah, Captain Morgan doesn't know either, tone deaf bastard. Oh wait ok I figured it out, it couldn't be ACEG, that makes no sense but now I remember, Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge! EGBDF! Yeah! Ummm, yeah that all made sense....I vote Treble.

King of the 909 - Because Smues has a really bad short term memory he confuses these two all the time. Why? Because they both like the same sports teams. Yeah, I'm a real genius aren't I? (For reference I have also in the past confused: The Doors with The Cars because of their names, Russle Crowe with Kurt Russel because of the Russle connection, and Billy Joel and Billy Idol, because of the Billy connection. Yeah, I'm awesome!) King used to do WWE 24/7 reviews on his blog so he gets the vote. It's quite possible that Vitamin does/did something that warrants a vote and that I'm just attributing what he did to King. Smues has the best brain ever!

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Guest Smues

Aren't you both Packers fans? Or Lakers fans? (I could remember which if I were sober. Ok that'a a lie. But I wouldn't lie if I were sober!)

 

Edit: Because I swear both of you liked one of them. Or both. If you don't share any common teams then I dunno why the fuck I always confused/confuse you two. Again, I point to my other examples of confusing people to show it doesn't take valid reasons for my brain to fuck up.

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Guest Smues
All cows eat grass

 

Never heard that one, but it would have worked. My K-12 education was obviously underfunded if all they taught us was Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge and were too lazy to come up with something for FACE other than the word face.

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